제 눈에 안경이다

[VoltTurtle]

Seo-yun took her place in Bethan's usual haunt once they arrived, appreciating the enthusiasm with which the other girl had advertised the place on the way there, even if she didn't share the same eagerness. Shelves and racks of brightly colored, metal adorned outfits surrounded the group as they entered, Seo-yun casually strolling past the cashier and immediately beginning to browse their stock. She had been in more than enough department stores to be able to discern what she was and was not interested in wearing in at a breakneck pace. By the time everyone else was beginning to get started, she would already have an outfit picked out. Perhaps she would be able to help them make their own choices, afterwards.

She darted quickly from shelf to rack to shelf, circling the perimeter of the store as she glanced at tags and rummaged through the various fabrics, silently mouthing her thoughts to herself as she looked between the different choices with some incredulity. The clothing generally looked ridiculous, of course, what with the blacks mixed with bright neon colors and the bizarre obsession with fishnets, chains, and gas masks. She wouldn't be caught dead wearing most of this stuff the vast majority of the time, but of course, anyone who said that fashion was a science with clear right and wrong choices didn't know what they were talking about.

There was a time and place for every sort of style, and in the case of Bethan's aesthetic, that time could easily come at either a party or concert, where the mix of blacks and bright colors would work well in the dim lighting. To that end, she pictured herself at one of those venues, adorning her mental image with each and every bolt of fabric, painting a picture in her head of the kind of aesthetic she would want to have as she grabbed each item in a chain. Eventually, she arrived at an assortment of the least visually-cluttered and garish items she found hanging off of her arm, having a noticeable mix of neon purples and black.

A complete outfit, picked out in no time flat, as expected. Now she just needed to try it on, and see how the disparate parts came together to form a more cohesive whole. Though, she could probably use some accessories too, now that she was thinking about it. If she was really buying this stuff, she might as well commit to it, right? Conveniently, Mary and Amy were already picking out their own accessories in the same spot, so now might be the time to help them out a bit. Amy especially could use the encouragement, as she had been completely silent the whole way to the store.

"Hey, cute bracelet, Amy!" She chirped as soon as she got close, giving both of the girls a friendly wave and a smile. "Say, if you both want some recommendations, courtesy of me..."

She reached her free hand up towards the accessory rack, tapping her index finger on the various chain necklaces on display. "You don't have to get anything here necessarily, but bigger accessories like necklaces look great on taller girls like you two, so long as you don't go overboard with it."

[Pippi]

Bethan beamed as the others made their way into the store, each person moving at their own pace. She remained outside for a moment, watching as the group dispersed slightly towards their various areas of interest - Lucille, notably, was moving with the confidence of somebody who trawled through clothing stores for fun.

Was there a chance that everybody was just humouring her, and they’d be back here within the week to return anything they ended up buying today? Absolutely! Was there a chance they were intimidated by Lucille’s intensity and just going along with what she was saying because of it? Quite possibly, honestly! And Bethan totally got all that; even dipping your toes into the cybergoth pool could be a lil’ intimidating! But if everybody walked out of here today with at least one thing they truly liked, and that they’d keep forever, even if it was just a tiny little bracelet or jacket patch… that’d make her really, truly happy.

…

Oh, whoops, she was still standing outside, wasn’t she?

Bethan marched inside, the familiar drones of Clock DVA’s music greeting her as she did so. It was way more muted than she was used to hearing, but it also lacked the cloud of sweat and beer musk that accompanied it at raves, so, y’know, overall, a more welcoming atmosphere! She flashed a smile at Mary, Amy, and Seo-yun, who all seemed to be comparing something she couldn’t quite see, before flitting between rows of hoodies and jackets.

She owned the majority of clothing that was currently surrounding her, but the super cool thing about this store was that it was really good at bringing in new products, and at restocking older ones in a relatively short space of time. It wouldn’t take long, she was sure, to sift through the crop-jackets and mesh dresses to find a brand new super exciting garment.

Hmmm. But before she dressed herself, it would be a good idea to try and help the other girls out, find some nice, understated accessories or logo t-shirts or leggings. They were being generous enough to look around at the store she’d suggested, after all - it was only fair to repay the favour!

“Hey guys!” Bethan exclaimed to the group at large, poking her head around the side of a rack of miniskirts. “What d’you think about this?”

Pleased as punch, Bethan held up a holographic, shoulder-less hoodie, chunky silver piped accents around the hood and arms, for all and sundry to see.

[Cicadan]

Lucille's mind idly ticked like the steady chug of a clock, or it could've been the hangers as she moved them past herself in an assembly line cadence. She wasn't focusing on anything in particular but there was still a lot to see.

Somehow, each flimsily boned-up corset she picked through was even more painfully bright than the last one. Also, it looked like Seo was guiding the other girls right, as Lucille would have prophesied long before ever accidentally stumbling onto this particular girl's night out- down to like, the Berlin sex club in the late 90s trip-out vibes. Then Bethan's particular off-the-rack could very literally reflect her own smile back at her... maybe a hidden practicality to that, wearing a portable mirror instead of stuffing it into your handbag. The further along Lucille's eye drifted the more she swore the store clerk was giving her the stink eye. Bitch, that girl over there was the lesbian, Lucille was willing to be flattered, but not to entertain. Besides, the half-hoop in her septum looked janky. Maybe Lucille needed to introduce Bethan to her so some sorely needed aesthetic advice could be traded.

All that settled into Lucille's brain like cosmic dust, she didn't even really plan to absorb any of it, it kind of just happened for no reason. She'd told Dr. Langely something once and he'd kinda laughed, which she'd been insanely proud of because he never did. She'd told him she had some natural 'put it on a TV profile' talent for finding just the right angle to look at a face to make it seem punchable.

"Something less dense for the bottom," she called back to Bethan, a good deal more sedate than her own tone. "It'll keep your silhouette balanced."

What was distracting her in that moment was less the aesthetic- that was just background radiation- and more, like, one of those random wormy thoughts that managed to stealthily dig into the brain and all of a sudden rudely pop up like boys into the DMs. At first she ignored it because, duh, why wouldn't she? But then the question mark got longer and longer in shape, like all the extra unknown of an ellipses. Dippin' Dots could never.

The next time Bethan happened to amble by it was Lucille who caught her attention, a few odds and ends

(really really emphasizing odd)

in her hands, inviting the duo to the fitting rooms for a spell.

-----

Lucille emerged from one of the little stalls that branched out of the cramped changing room's atrium- fit with one mirror in need of some cleaning- having been a bit too overwhelmed to fully try on an entire outfit. It was like, put them together and the top and bottom would have achieved emergent sentience and hijacked her brain from her. So she just had the obscenely tight pleather skirt-shorts on, reminding herself with some pride of how great her legs were. Like, the bell of the skirt had a pretty cool ayahuasca effect where it seemed to be burnt and melting in strips, falling apart in yawning-open ribbons exposing the shorts underneath while still somehow being one of the more overall modest things she'd happened to find.

She glanced at Bethan first, then around to make sure the other girls hadn't followed. Huh. She'd made up her mind fast that she was going through with this, then. Maybe she did have it in herself to surprise herself sometimes.

"So full disclosure this is gonna be the sort of question that you have every right to not answer, and no hard feelings." Lucille offered a cheeky thumbs up, even as her lips remained set in a dull sort of seriousness so rare on her face she was personally curious about the alien heaviness weighing down her tongue

(amazing phrasing, ugh her mind)

"-but, like. When you get together with a girl do you ever feel like it could become something more? Like, even if you chose not to go for it there's, y'know, potential to make it serious."

[Slam]

Amy turned to Mary. “What do I think about what?” she asked, holding the bracelet still with both hands. She looked down at it, trying to avoid an awkward silence that she knew was inevitable otherwise. She assumed that was what Mary had been asking about. “It looks inoffensive. Not too much.”

She kept a laser-like focus on eye contact with Mary, clutching the bracelet perfectly still. She didn’t think Mary seemed like the type to be trying to publicly humiliate her; her outfit didn’t belong to someone who’d be in that sort of clique. She was only asking about the bracelet after all, not making suggestions or trying to get her to wear something else. It wasn’t a cause for baseless speculation, Amy told herself. It eased her nerves ever so slightly.

Before they could get into their accessory discourse, Seo joined them. “I know.” Amy replied to Seo’s advice on jewellery choices. She could pull off larger items without looking like she was being swallowed up in it, she was already aware. One of the advantages of her otherwise not-infrequently awkward height. She just had to make sure she didn’t pick anything too bulky against her slim physique.

Seo seemed more like she'd be in that crowd, but Amy had spoken with her in the past when there'd been no opportunity to embarrass her and it had gone fine. Paying for an outfit just to embarrass her in it would also be pretty stupid, that or Seo was just that spoiled. Seo was probably fine. Probably.

She turned back to the rack, eluding the need to keep talking by putting back the bracelet and browsing the necklaces instead. Between the bulky PVC alien, gas mask and cloud items, and what could only be described as a glowstick chain necklace, she settled on the very petite gold and green heart gem collar. It wasn't a larger accessory as Seo had suggested, but its yellow faux gleam had caught Amy's eye.

She paused for a moment, before holding it up to the other girls. “I like this one.” She stated sincerely. “It goes with my shirt.”

[KamiKaze]

Mary smiled, however slightly.

It seemed to take a beat for Amy to process the question before she answered. She guessed she was more into the subtler stuff? In her defense, some stuff here was stuff Mary wouldn’t wear unless it was like, some weird fetish thing. Sure, her and Bethan’s shticks were kinda adjacent in some ways, but well, would she walk around in a transparent body stocking? Well, maybe if she found a way to layer something on top it could be cute, honestly. She’d have to think. Thankfully, there was stuff here that was also tame, or sexy in that “you could walk outside like this” way, or something you could, again, layer.

Bethan then burst out of nowhere from behind a rack of miniskirts to provide an option. That was an example of something you could wear out on the street, but what what what to pair it with? Also, does it come in black? It was also holographic, and it looked like it was an off-the-shoulder hoodie of sorts. She wondered how you wore it, and again, how you would use it in an outfit? Maybe she needed to see it on a person or mannequin to get an idea. She was definitely eyeballing it, though.

Just like that, though, Lucille and Bethan disappeared. Mary tensed up a moment after overhearing Lucille’s advice-

Anyways! Mary nodded in response to S-Y.

“Yeah, like… tall girls can wear bolder accessories, kinda,” she said, then added in thought, thinking to herself. “But the tradeoff is that sometimes bottoms look shorter on you.”

It was true. The good news with taller, slimmer builds is that a lot looks good on you. The bad news is that you have to consider height when thinking about your bottoms. Sooooooo many times Mary had tried something on, only to realize the hemline was a little shorter than how it was advertised. Which makes things tricky if you want to go through life without a teacher or churchgoer gasping in horror because, oh no, an extra inch of your leg is showing? How scandalous.

Okay, back on topic.

It seemed Amy found something! Mary leaned in for a closer look.

“Oh! That’s a cute color scheme.”

Wait, she just realized something. She hadn’t officially picked something out herself, hadn’t she?

Was that an oops?

[VoltTurtle]

"Pretty!"

Seo-yun was pleased with herself. It seemed her attempt at getting Amy a bit more comfortable had worked; the girl was starting to show some more confidence. Seo-yun wasn't sure how the collar she had picked out would actually look, given her physique and style, but Mary was right at least, the color went along well with Amy's current outfit.

She turned her head to scan the store behind her, trying to see where Bethan and Lucille had disappeared off to. She had to make sure to keep tabs on everyone during shopping trips like these. There had been enough incidents of her friends getting lost in the larger department stores and wasting time trying to locate each other that it had become instinctual. Thankfully this store was on the smaller side, and also the usual haunt for Bethan, who was always the most likely to get lost in the past, so it hopefully wouldn't be a problem.

Seo-yun didn't see either of the other girls anywhere, but that wasn't an issue yet, they were likely just off in one of the changing rooms. If they were gone for more than a few minutes, that's when she would start worrying; either for them getting lost, or some unfortunate changing accident where they tried to put on an outfit that was just a few sizes too small. There had been a few of those incidents in the past too, the unfortunate casualties of which need not to be named at this time.

Turning her attention back to the girls in front of her, Seo-yun couldn't help but notice that Mary hadn't picked anything out yet. She didn't need to necessarily, but part of the experience of going to the mall with friends was spending inordinate amounts of money on trivial items that you might wear once and throw away. Sure, it might be wasteful and likely contributing to the destruction of the planet via unchecked global warming, but it was fun, and that was a problem for their future selves, anyway. Plus, Seo-yun was the one paying for it, so there was certainly no financial reason for Mary to be worried about it.

Reaching over to the accessory shelf again, Seo-yun plucked a set of small, carefully packaged neon purple facial stickers off one of the hangers, and held them out to Mary.

"I think you might look good with these, Mary. If you put them around your eyes," she said, tapping the rim of her left orbital socket with one finger, "that will make them pop even more than they do already."

[Pippi]

Hmm. Not too much uptake on the holographic hoodie. Which, you know, that was totally understandable, she got that! It was pretty flashy and shiny, which didn’t gel with Mary’s aesthetic, and definitely something that would make you stand out in literally any situation, which went against Amy’s style. And even without the shoulders, you would still be wearing a hoodie in the middle of Miami! Bethan had long accepted that whenever her outfit of choice covered up most of her body, she’d be peeling the PVC and leggings from her skin by the end of the day. She was willing to make these sacrifices in the name of fashion, though; the other girls? Maybe not.

Still. She couldn’t help her heart from sinking just a little bit. She really did think the hoodie would look cute on everybody present.

So when Lucille caught her eye as she was hanging the garment back up and rifling through the hangers next to it, asking her if she could come with for a smidge, Bethan was quick to accept. She glanced over at the other girls, making sure they all seemed to be doing okay in their little huddle. Then she followed after Lucille at a brisk trot, into the changing rooms.

---

She had to admit, her mind had wandered somewhat, as she stood outside one of the stalls, waiting for Lucille to finish changing. Scenarios and situations that got the pulse racing, dalliances that she would never have been brave enough to commit to outside of her own little fantasies. She didn’t think there was anything really, truly wrong with daydreaming about it, as much as the little voice in the back of her head tried to tell her otherwise. Like, guys were pretty much expected to think about this sorta thing on a daily basis; was there anything wrong with her zoning out about situations of a similar nature that she knew would never happen?

That was not, of course, the reason Lucille had dragged Bethan into the fitting rooms. No, it seemed the other girl just wanted a second opinion on her outfit from someone with an eye for the fashion, and, well. Bethan couldn’t stop herself from gasping and clapping at the sight of the other girl. She hadn’t gone for anything super outrageous or over the top, but what she had chosen, she was looking utterly stunning in. Bethan owned that very skirt, had worn it a few times, and come to terms with the fact it would never be one of her favourites, but Lucille was really making it work.

Then she started talking, and Bethan could feel her face rush through a whole mixture of expressions; confusion, concern, understanding, baffled bemusement, all of them ran on a cycle as Lucille managed to reach her point. She settled on a thoughtful look, as she rested her hand on her chin, thumb cupping it, index finger tapping her flushed cheek.

“I, um…” Bethan said, realising that she’d already opened her mouth without actually knowing what she wanted to come out of it yet. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so, yeah!”

Bethan didn’t exactly hide the fact she had slept with pretty much every girl with an interest in other girls at George Hunter and the cybergoth scene. She didn’t see a need to, really! Sex was fun, and sex made her and the girl she was with feel good, so she figured, why be ashamed of that fact? It was no secret that her friendship with Virginia came with very specific benefits - at least, she hoped it wasn’t a secret. She’d just never really actively discussed this sort of thing with anybody else before! Least of all somebody like Lucille, who had never seemed interested in the sordid affairs of mortals before now.

“Like, I’m not actively pursuing a relationship or anything right about now, but I think that like, if I hooked up with a girl and she really like liked me and I realised that and I realised I also like liked her and stuff, then, sure, there’s always potential for it to like… blossom!”

She grinned, then tilted her head somewhat, and let her expression shift back to a quizzical one.

“Why d’you ask?”

[Cicadan]

Awww, the enthusiasm was cute! Easy to tell it was genuine where it was Bethan because there were hurricanes out there with less straightforward energy. Lucille took that W like it were a bong hit

(not that she actually knew what happened when you did those)

and leaned a bit further into it, propping her hands up on her hips and werking. Belfies for days, y'know how it goes.

Honestly she would probably buy the thing. The construction was cheap but it was decent-ish by fast fashion supply chain standards, albeit overpriced given the niche branding. The big draw was just that the damn thing looked spectacular, and was clearly a hit with her audience. 'Twas a waiter, out here absolutely serving looks.

"Not the kind of question I'd ask, huh?" Bethan had gone through some approximation of the seven stages of grief in all of a millisecond, something like that? Yeah, Lucille knew she was kind of on one right now, specifically in the worst possible way where things were going to fertilize the uncanny valley, water her crops and all that with the sort of out-of-character gravity she'd suddenly adopted for herself. Dude, honestly it wasn't that serious a Thing. Lucille wasn't out here trying to write, like, her manifesto.

She guessed she was just looking for a friendly face? She honestly didn't know, it wasn't like she ever thought about these sorts of things too much? Dr. Langley would've been proud, probably, that she was practicing social therapy, as he'd probably put it in that cool professional way he did.

"Like, yeah. I agree with that take in theory." The pause between invited contemplation, almost meditation.

"Not exactly the spiciest, but like... I dunno. When I think about it I can't ever really picture it happening, y'know?" Lucille had forgotten how kinda-tall Bethan was until they were this close and personal. She looked up at her peer- charitably a friend? Probably not the right word but there wasn't a non-boring word out there for what they were- and contemplated Bethan's history, through the lens of all the salacious rumors that were in no way actually interesting because pretty much everyone knew about them anyways, that Bethan was out there getting mail and tail.

"Is it like, that we're similar in some way but then different in that way? I know I'm open to casual stuff the same as you, with the caveat that I've had way less sex. Obviously because guys are actually terrible, so, had to do it to 'em-"

(all shade intended for Sergio)

"but, like... I never see the blossoming... actually happening, y'know." Lucille was keeping eye contact all throughout, a pleasantly neutral expression kept on her face. Worry lines of her face melted away, as if it were any other wonderfully benign conversation ever. It... was, right? This really was not a big deal, any of what she was saying.

"It's like, I'm woke enough to know I should be considering if I'm ace or that it's okay if I just have a low drive for romance or haven't found the right person yet." A raised eyebrow, a mischievous quirk of the corner of her lip. "I'd even be down for you, low key, but like... all just a big maybe. Hypothetical stuff that I've never really felt much of anything about. I think you'd have a more relevant opinion on it than anyone else I could ask, I guess."

[Slam]

Amy felt a small smile growing in her heart. Her expression remained as stoic as ever, but she was eased by the girls agreeing with her accessory taste. She didn’t need the validation that it was a good choice, but it helped make her feel more comfortable regardless.

She was about to put the collar down again, because she wasn’t really about to buy it. She needed to put more thought into her outfits than just grabbing things off the shelves and walking out the store with them. Days, even weeks of planning could go into a decision on what she bought. She was a methodical fashionista. But she was interrupted by Seo reaching past her, grabbing the item that Amy hadn’t even recognised at first, much less considered as a pick.

Amy’s hands choked on her collar. Her instinctual response was to tell Seo that that was a horrible idea, that Mary would look ridiculous with stickers all over her face, but years of practiced reluctance made her hesitate. Yes, they could be used for emphasising, but that was for particular circumstances. And even though black and purple could go together, doing it through face stickers just seemed like a completely alien plan. Fitting given the location, and maybe appropriate if a crew of aliens invaded the store, but until that happened, she wasn’t on board with it.

She felt like she had to say something. They were clothes shopping after all, and clothes was one of the things she knew best. She did not want to just stand there like a gawking mannequin displaying her necklace and let the potential fashion disaster unfold in front of her. And she was starting to feel like she might just fit in and no-one was trying to prank her, so it would be ok, surely.

“That sounds like a bad idea. It would look stupid.”

[VoltTurtle]

Seo-yun was never the type to accept her authority being challenged. She was so used to always being the queen. Never being questioned by those beneath her, because she was at the top of the social hierarchy. In order to keep that position, she always had to make sure to appear perfect, infallible, and unflappable. Except now, Amy was—likely unknowingly—threatening to damage her position by questioning her judgement. She couldn't allow that, she had to do or say something to keep that from happening. It didn't matter whether or not Amy was right to question her, she couldn't appear like she had made the wrong call. She had to stick with it, because she had a reputation to uphold.

Normally, Seo-yun's response to something like this was one of fighting fire with fire. Anyone who made the mistake of crossing that line, of trying to damage her reputation, would quickly learn just how capable she was at subtly undermining them, whittling them down, and turning their friends against them. Except, Amy was not only new to Seo-yun's circles, but she wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, either. It was different when it was someone like Laura or Junji—nobody would bat an eye at her lashing out at and spreading rumors about them—but picking on Amy would be like bullying a toddler; not only would it be too easy, but it wouldn't exactly make her look like the hero if she did it.

Seo-yun had to protect her reputation as being the person anyone could go to if they needed to just as much as she needed to protect her pristine image. That meant that the best response to this wasn't to lash out just for the sake of catharsis, but rather to negotiate. All she had to do was let it slide for now, explain herself and her reasoning, and maybe not invite Amy to future trips. It would be simple, and clean.

She smiled. It might be fake, but she was quite good at hiding how she really felt. From the outside, her plastic smile looked the same as any other.

"Ah! Maybe you misunderstood what I meant, Amy," she said evenly, not betraying even the slightest hint of frustration, holding the sheet up to be visible. "These are just small dots. You'd be right if they had some kind of garish, elaborate design to them, or if Mary overdid it and put them all over her face, but the way I imagine it, she'd only have one or two on either side of her eyes."

Smooth as silk, just like always. Now all she had to do was defuse any remaining tension, pass the blame off onto the store, and then push the pressure onto Mary and not herself. Maybe change the topic a bit, if she needed to.

"Obviously if she doesn't like the idea, then she doesn't have to take them," she continued, shrugging just a bit. "It was just a suggestion, since we're here in this mess of a place. Something that she could do for special occasions, like a party. She hosted that hurricane party not too long ago, you know," she glanced at Mary. "That was great, by the way. Had a blast, made a new friend. You should do it again sometime."

[Pippi]

Hmm. Well, if there was anything that could be said about this conversation - and by extension, pretty much any conversation you could have with Lucille - it was that it certainly wasn’t dull!

Bethan tried to keep her face neutral, hoping to avoid a repeat of the smorgasbord of emotions that had crossed it before. This was, of course, a major struggle for her at the very best of times - heart on her sleeve, and all that jazz - but when a very attractive girl was mentioning that, maybe, there was a chance she could hook up with her if the stars aligned, it was a near-impossibility.

So, yeah, Bethan tried her hardest to keep focused, and to keep the expression of concern and understanding on her face - because this was clearly a serious thing, something that had been eating away at Lucille enough for her to request a private one-to-one, no matter how blasé and casual she was acting, and Bethan honestly truly wanted to help as best she could - and she was so focused on doing so and certain that she was doing it pretty well, that it took her a few seconds to realise her lips were slightly parted, and her face was definitely flushed.

“I! Um, uh! Um!”

She blinked, and took a deep breath, and let out an awkward sounding, nervous giggle.

“Sorry! It’s um… it’s kinda hot in here, huh?”

Nailed it. She gave Lucille a lopsided grin, and tried to un-jumble her thoughts, and arrange them into something coherent - and more importantly, helpful for Lucille’s concerns.

“I thiiink, uh…” Bethan tapped her chin again, staring off into a corner of the changing rooms for a moment. “Well, it is a little tricky to think about, ‘cos I’ve always had the belief that as soon as I find, like, Miss Right, it’ll click, and it’ll be obvious, and I’ll know I’ve found her right away, and I’ve kinda thought about what would happen in that scenario, like, potential cute date night ideas and stuff like that!”

She breathed, finally, then looked back at Lucille. She didn’t speak for a moment, a self-admitted rarity, and a soft smile crossed her lips, like a gentle rainfall after a week of scorching sun.

“But it hasn’t happened yet! Not with anybody. Not even when the sex is really good and not even when I hook up with them a ton - oh, uh, sorry, was that too much info? Sorry, sorry!”

Bethan played with one of her braids, smiling apologetically at Lucille. You know, she’d never really considered the things that Lucille was currently telling her about. She hadn’t been lying, she always had just assumed that she’d find that one person, her spark, at some point, and she had considered all the cute things couples did together, all of which sounded fun and exciting. But had she been planning for those things because she truly wanted that herself? Or was it because, hey, everyone else at school was dating each other and breaking up and acting like perfect or dysfunctional or odd couples, that was what she wanted as well, right?

Hmm. Food for thought, certainly!

“I think it’s definitely something to consider, like, whether you’re ace or…. Uh… oh, come on, what’s the other term, uh, ‘aero’? Or something like that? And the same deal with, like, having a low romance drive! Like, apparently he didn’t date anybody until he was, like, 24? And not cause people didn’t ask him out, he just wasn’t interested in it! So, uh, yeah!”

She smiled again, hoping internally that she wasn’t talking absolute useless nonsense.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how you’re feeling. But, like, it’s equally not wrong to be thinking and considering this stuff? Even if it’s just something to keep in the back of your mind, like, if you ever think to yourself ‘What’s wrong with me?’ and you can remind yourself that the answer is ‘Oh, right, nothing! This is a totally normal way to feel and to be and I’m still rad as heck!’”

Bethan took another breath, refueling her lungs with air.

“Did that make, like, any sense? I’m sorry, I know I ramble!”

[KamiKaze]

“Oh, and uh… there’s a trick I learned some time ago, see?” Mary piped in, arms folded close to self.

She repostured. Nice and straight.

“See, I follow this goth rock musician on YouTube, right? And he also has a series on like, interior design and stuff. See, he’s a goth icon, so he likes goth things of course. And I think he gave the advice of like… you can make a lot of stuff work design-wise, you just have to keep in mind quality and tone. Like, when you’re doing quirky things, there’s a difference between costume quality and aesthetic. You don’t want something Halloween party-ish, but more sturdy and cohesive, basically.”

A hand slid down to adjust the voodoo rabbit purse.

“Uh… so I think it should be fine if I go to parties or if I’m uploading something. Not for day wear, maybe, but it’d be cute here and there?”

She examined both of their faces. Mary wondered if S-Y was just hiding her frustration, or if Amy legitimately thought it’d look ugly on her. But S-Y did say she enjoyed her party, didn’t it? Even if there were parts of it she would rather push aside, Mary had to admit, that was nice. She had to smile at that, despite everything. Her hand gripped the strap tighter. The industrial track, this time different, played on. Where were the other two?

“Oh, uh!” Mary clapped her hands. “Like, I’ve been seeing people wear like, animal ears as casual wear a few times recently. Kinda trendy. It’s been something I’ve been meaning to try, but I think it looks better if you go for sassy pop diva and not anime con. More mature aesthetic than costume-y. As an example.”

Idea?

“Maybeeee idea?”

[Cicadan]

Was it hot in here? Beyond the totally obvious and out there O-face Bethan was working on, oof. Lucille picked at the ripped-up, sequin-esque

(Oof. More she was thinking about it, more she realized the skirt she'd picked out had a certain Claire's off-the-rack vibe to it. The go-ahead to buy was looking more and more like a take-backsies the more times Lucille looked down and saw through the smoke and the mirrors, and through the upended glitter bottle that had gone into the piece.)

thing blanketing her legs in a less than family-friendly way, grimaced as she realized the faux-leather trapped heat. As if she was in the market for a sauna between her legs? She had spa dates for that. Back to the affair of a flustered Gay, as if Lucille could be deft enough to ignore it. Lucille had a, uh... response, of some sort? She guessed. Mostly in the form of slightly upstairs-vacant glaring, not intended to be so intense or off-putting? Lucille had the eyes of a hawk when she was sizing people up, that had never stopped being a thing, but even now when she was theoretically spilling her soul out her mouth like milk post-spoilage she still felt a bit more stand-offish than she was probably intending to come off.

Main takeaway to be honest, Bethan was actually pretty attractive? If you were into that sort of thing. Lucille really wasn't trying to be polite with her gaze- not really in character for her, ever.

It was definitely a flip-flop she'd taken to the head- a reversal, when Lucille swore at some point prior to this moment in time that she'd written Bethan off as 'casual FWB at best' if Lucille had been attracted to girls at all

(??)

because... Uh, well. Bethan was pretty clearly not an SOTF fan. Yeah, that had been Lucille's reasoning. Pretty flimsy for a total put-it-to-ink final statement judging someone else's character. Lucille felt a different heat, one just as totally different from Bethan's awkward burn in the cheeks as the physical burn of too much leather on the skin. Something in her brain on fire, like what would happen sometimes when she and Dr. Langely talked for a long time, a long time as in his office was already closing and Lucille had specifically picked the last appointment slot in his day so she could feel a bit more guilty than usual about keeping him from his kids and wife. Lucille, a blank real-ish doll in reality, watching Bethan do her best to be a good friend.

Wondering what she was missing out on, she guessed. Maybe it was love and infatuation and sex and all those theoretically great things Bethan was clumsily smiling all over. Maybe it was something else entirely. Usually, Lucille never thought about things that weren't SOTF this much.

She'd heard everything, anyways. Always had to listen carefully even when otherwise totally distracted- that's where the good stuff came from. Lucille had started sitting on one of the fitting room's benches a while back, both knees delicately inclined Bethan's way as Lucille slouched into a defensive ball, the bonfire of her blue eyes burning on embers and char.

"Well, I did date people in the plural. And I guess I still have some interests now." She wouldn't be hanging on to every text from Vasily if she wasn't at least modestly impressed by him. She guessed. And she wouldn't be eying up Bethan with way more interest than was reasonable if she wasn't at least kind of excited by the thought. She guessed. And like every other crush she'd ever supposedly had she'd inevitably wonder why she'd ever been interested in the first place- in like, that sciency way where she'd only ever look back on her past with a microscope and scalpel to dissect the funnier bits and disstrack herself for having had the sheer audacity, having dared to have been one of the mad lads. She guessed.

"Kinda." Lucille consciously, softly bit a corner of her lip. All demure like, her face almost sultry. An effect kind of lost in the sterile light of the overly thematic warehouse pastiche of a room. Probably a bit too forward of her, but uh, it was an in the moment kinda thing. Lucille swore she wasn't trying to use herself as gay bait.

"Aromantic, that's right. I knew I'd forgotten one," Lucille tisked at herself. Fifty woke points from Gryffindor, young Twitter-er. Wait shit, HP references were also very much not cool or pleasant nowadays. Lucille glanced away for the first time in a while that she was looking at something that wasn't Bethan's body or eyes, her lips curling into a sheepish apology not particularly aimed at its target.

"I totally got you, dude. And I feel... 'bit better? At least I think me not knowing what I'm doing or what I want isn't like, too weird or anything."

It didn't matter. Lucille was all about her hustle. Everything else was just the pleasantries- the pre-kill dialogue, as some podcasters liked to put it.

"Could just be that I'm too busy working on myself? Y'know?" Pretty blatant fishing, lol. Lucille casually flexed one arm, emphasizing that at some point someone had slipped some pretty tough looking muscles under that sleeve. It was her, Lucille was that someone. "But like, rewind a bit. Cute date ideas for your special someone when you find 'em. You knew I was going to ask when you brought it up, right?" A more casual, more Lucille-ishly aggressive grin when she found that hook to pivot the convo on. "I promise I won't tell. Unless you've got one that's particularly terrible and deserves a court of public opinion," she giggled.

[Slam]

Amy stood still, rooted to the spot by anxiety almost completely, the only exception being the fidgeting of the hands with the necklace in them. She said nothing in response to Mary’s explanation of the fact, only staring at Seo and waiting for her to resume the conversation.

She felt very foolish for speaking, as if she’d silenced a room full of conversation with one stray opinion. Sat there in her finery, surrounded by expensive wine and a store's worth of formalwear, only to silence the resounding laughter filling the room with one unwelcome thought. All eyes suddenly on her. Very unrefined.

She knew that wasn’t the case. She could see that only Seo and Mary were looking at her, and not with any disdain or condescension, but the feeling was still there in the back of her head, niggling away at her. She’d worked on not feeling so overwhelmed by uncertainty in conversations, had done several exercises about rolling with the punches, but it was still difficult.

She began to unconsciously bounce on her heels to manage the awkwardness, her nervous habit creeping out. She caught on to the fact she was doing it, but far too late to prevent the display. She wanted to force herself to stop but could only settle for bouncing to a lower elevation. Coupled with the silence, she must’ve looked a right sight.

“I’m…I’m going to look...” she trailed off, turning very stiffly to her right and gliding across the floor towards a display rack covered in neon leggings, necklace still in hands. She just need a moment to collect herself. She was hating every second of this, or rather every second of her awkwardness, but she had to keep trying. She wanted to be better at this. She just needed a moment.

[VoltTurtle]

"Mm, yes," Seo-yun started to say, in response to Mary. "It's certainly an idea."

Wearing animal ears at nearly any time was tacky as all get-out, but it wasn't like she could actually say that outright. She had just subtly gone off on Amy for contradicting her, so she wasn't about to go and do that to Mary in turn. Plus, she supposed that there might be some merit to them, under the right circumstances. She had just gathered an outfit for herself that she wouldn't be caught dead wearing outside of a rave, after all. Maybe they'd work during a costume party, or if Mary decided to be a streamer playing SOTF Champions or something to that effect.

Wait, did Mary stream? That seemed like something she would do, but maybe not. Seo-yun hadn't heard her talk about it ever, and they had known each other for years, so it was probably safe to guess that no, she didn't. In that case she really would be limited to costume parties or otherwise embarrassing herself out in public.

While Seo-yun thought it would probably be best to tell her that, politely, there was a bigger problem that needed addressing. Amy looked like she had just seen a ghost, and had wandered away from the two of them. Had Seo-yun been too hard on her? She had thought that she had been easy enough on poor Amy, but that clearly wasn't the case. She felt a little bad, Amy might've accidentally undermined her, but seeing Amy like this was like seeing a puppy with a thorn in its paw. She felt obligated to do something about it.

Holding a single finger up to Mary to signal her intent, she slowly followed Amy from behind, and gently placed a hand on the taller girl's shoulder.

"Hey, I know you're new to this and a little uncomfortable," she started to say, her voice low, and her tone gentle. "I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing great. I was thinking we could hit up the food court after we got done in here. Wanna go ahead and ring up what we've picked out and then do that?"