Steady As She Goes

[Tonyksin]

As Mike and Connor spoke up and seemed to agree with her that choosing a leader wasn’t exactly the most pressing issue, Regina sighed in relief. The idea of having someone in charge in a situation like this was kind of silly, in her mind, and it was nice to see that she wasn’t the only one with her priorities in order. Mike, even though he seemed to agree, also made it clear that he’d rather Connor take the lead than anyone else. Regina could understand that. Connor had that air of authority about him, and it made you feel a bit safer when you listened to him speak. Regina didn’t have anything like that. She couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to follow her over someone like Connor.

Connor mentioned how they should change locations again, and Regina nodded in agreement. They’d been out in the open for a while now, and the longer they stayed in one place, the more likely they were to run into others who weren’t as peaceful or willing to work together. Regina was going to speak up and agree with Connor, but before she had the chance Amber piped up and let her feelings known.

As Amber continued to speak, Regina felt herself becoming more and more conflicted. She’d been doing her best up until now to try not to think about the implications of this place, about the things she may have to do to survive. Having someone lay it all out as calmly and coldly as Amber did was a bit alarming, and Regina felt herself wrap her arms around her torso to hug herself and try to comfort herself just a bit. Everything Amber was saying was undoubtedly true, but thinking about it made Regina’s head spin. She couldn’t imagine having to hurt anyone, and the idea that other people might be okay with hurting her was one that she refused to acknowledge.

Amber continued by offering escape as another option. Truthfully, Regina hadn’t even considered such a thing. Regina may not have ever watched Survival Of The Fittest like Amber apparently had, but she knew enough about it to understand that escape was basically impossible. Unless someone came to actually save them, there was no escape from this island. They were just a bunch of high schoolers, how in the hell were they supposed to outsmart the organization trapping them here? It was nothing more than a pipe dream.

Amber showed off her cutting scars, and Regina turned her head away. It was painful to look at. All of this was. The probability of everyone standing here being dead in the next few days was high, and that scared her. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to accept it. Then, to top off the energy of the moment, Amber had to go and elect to have Regina lead them as well. Right now that was the last thing she was worried about. Mike did his best to turn the conversation back to leaving the area, and Regina jumped on that bandwagon immediately.

“Yeah, we should go. I… I don’t care where, but we should move on.” She kept her eyes glued to the ground as she spoke.

“We can find somewhere to hole up for a while, then we can discuss…” She took a shaky breath. “Other things…”

[Cactus]

Goodness, gracious. Connor stood uncomfortably as Amber went off on her Survival of the Fittest diatribe, punctuating it with the terrifying realization that she had watched it to self-harm while actually self-harming. The scars that lined her arm were faded and jarred him to see. His initial impression of Amber had been spot-on. There were a whole whack of bats flying around that attic, too many for the space. Hence the expression - batshit crazy. Everyone else was obviously incredibly uncomfortable with the revelation as well. Matthew and Regina looked uncertain, while Mike simply covered his nervousness with a laugh.

As for Connor? After a moment, he did the only thing that he could. He gave Amber a warm, manufactured smile. A 'you-just-miffed-the-game-winning-touchdown-catch' kind of smile.

"Well Amber, thank you for sharing your expertise on the subject with us. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It might be tough, but I reckon that the second we give up hope, that's when it's all over."

What the hell else was he supposed to say - sorry that you're a whack-job who likes to cut holes in their own flesh? He didn't know, but he did suddenly have the strong urge to put some distance between him and the cheerleader. The rest of them were feckless and non-threatening, but something about Amber unsettled him. Unsurprisingly, no one else was doing much of anything, so Connor looked out into the woods.

"Well, let's do that, then. I'll go scout up ahead, make sure no one's comin'. Y'all listen for my signal, and we'll stay safe that way. If we get separated, we can meet at the waterfall. How's that?"

He didn't wait for an answer, simply nodding and going ahead, tapping the multitool in his hand as he went. Connor didn't slow down at all, making his way through the brush carefully and assuming they all followed. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't, but it had become rather clear that he'd been wrong. This wasn't his team. Sticking with them was liable to have them all wind up dead, and surviving was the name of the game. At least, until his father came through as Connor knew he would.

Not once did Connor give a look back to see if he was being followed, lost a bit in his thoughts as he traversed the woods.





Finally, he did look back.




No one was behind him. He was lost.

Oh well.

He made a mental note to avoid the waterfall as he picked his way through the bushes.

((Connor Lorenzen continued in Remember the Name))

[VoltTurtle]

It slowly dawned on Amber that showing off her self-harm scars was probably completely unnecessary, and she could've just mentioned them without actually showing them off, if she mentioned them at all.

The others reacted poorly. Most of them didn't seem to know what to say, which Amber couldn't blame them for, there wasn't really a good response. She was only so casual about it because from her perspective it was so long ago. It had been years since she had cut herself, and it gave her some relief being able to treat it as something that wasn't taboo to talk about.

That wasn't the only thing that was bothering her, however. There was something else weighing on her. Something that had been bothering her for a while now. Something that she finally needed to address.

Her bra was really starting to chafe.

She had been sweating a lot since she woke up, and the fact that she was wearing a jacket in these conditions probably wasn't helping matters. Still, she only had her tank top and bra on underneath the jacket, so her scars would be fully visible if she just took it off, and she just saw exactly where letting them show ends up. There was a first aid kit included in their supplies, she thought. Maybe she could just do what she always did during soccer and cheer...

Amber sat down, bringing her bag up in front of her and unzipping it, noticing that Connor had gotten quite a bit of distance on the group, and barely anyone seemed to be paying attention. He did say something about meeting up at the waterfall, but couldn't they just go as a group? Why wasn't he waiting for-

Oh.

Amber scowled, before returning to the task at hand. She could tell when someone didn't want to be around her. She had lots of experience with that.

"No, Connor, wait up," she said, her voice dripping with more sarcasm than she had ever exhibited in her life. Amber didn't move from the spot she was in, instead she elected to simply remove the medical kit from her bag and slip out of her jacket. She thumbed through its contents for a moment, before pulling out the gauze and medical tape that had been included oh so graciously by her kidnappers. Wrapping her forearms in a single layer of gauze each, Amber finished up fairly quickly, and stowed her jacket and remaining medical supplies away before finally standing back up, oblivious to any comments from her companions.

She held up one hand to block the sunlight and help her view, looking in the direction Connor went in to try and see if he was still visible. He wasn't, perhaps fortunately, but Amber knew that the others would probably want to go after him. Making sure her bag was secured properly to her person and adjusting the strap slightly, Amber finally spoke again. "Better follow him, I guess."

Without waiting, she began walking in the direction Connor went in with a huff. She didn't know how long she spent walking, following the path of this boy she didn't respect in silence. It was strange to her that everyone else was being so quiet, however, she had expected them to chat while they walked.

Wait.

Realization dawned on Amber as she stopped in her tracks.

She had went in the wrong direction.

SHIT.

Amber spun around, trying to see if anyone had been following her. No luck.

She called out, asking if anyone was there, listening for any responses. No luck.

She was all alone again.

"Goddammit, me." She cursed, kicking the ground underneath her in frustration.

You're still not alone, to be fair.

Oh right.

So, back to square one?

"Yeah, I guess," she said, out loud, not having learned her lesson from earlier. She glanced around, trying to get an idea of where she was, only to realize she was completely lost. Pulling out her map, she tried to remember where Connor said he was going to go. It was the waterfall, she thought. She made a mental note to avoid that location in the future, if only so she could avoid running into Connor again, and not so she could avoid the rest of the group. She hoped she saw them again, at least.

Traipsing through the underbrush, her mood having taken a severe downward turn, Amber only had one other thought of note.

I need to find Abel.

((Amber Yates, continued in Mildew and Melancholy))

[Somersault]

This had gone to hell in a hand basket. Mike knew that much, even if it would’ve been real rude to go up and say that out loud. Everyone was looking now, Connor was smiling at Amber, but he was pretty sure that was the smile people gave when they saw a fat baby try to walk-and fall. Nothing sweet about that kind of smile.

Really, though, he couldn’t blame the other guy. Amber seemed to know how to press just the right buttons to get everyone worked up real good, and he, for one, was not a big fan of those kinda shenanigans. Nasty.

Like yeah, ‘course he felt bad ‘bout the cutting and all, but as soon as Connor announced he was gonna be scoutin’ ahead, well-

“Yep, coming right behind you!”

And so he went off, not because he didn’t think the people in the group were trying their best, but because he had to find a place here from people who made his skin crawl like it was full of spiders.

The cuts, the cuts, the cuts were all that went through his mind as he went through the bushes, guessing that yeah, Connor probably went this way, and like, that seemed like a footprint, he’d go there, but through it all, it was the scars that kept on coming through his mind, mental railroad all ‘bout showing him trauma.

Mike continued in that haze for a good while, more or less blindly trying to make his way through, until he decided to actually call out and see where people were at.

“Hey, y’all okay?”

He could only hear the rustling of the trees.

“Ah, shitsicles,” Mike muttered under his breath; as he tried to refocus on really decide on the best way to actually try to go finding them or whatever.

...The bunch of trees over there looked as good a bet as any.

((Mike Brown, continued in ...And You’re Miles and Miles from Your Nice Warm Bed))

[Super Weegee]

When the others mentioned that they really have to get moving, Matthew's mind drifted away from the numerous questions and instead focused on where they should go. He made the mistake of underestimating just how...troubled Amber was, and he didn't want a repeat of that fucking argument at the cafeteria. Just the mere thought of that day made him breathe heavily through his nose. If she didn't want to tell him why, that's her business and not his.

Before anybody can actually start planning, Connor went to scout out ahead of everybody else for any threats and to listen for his signal-

Wait, what signal? Where is he even going? We didn't even plan out where we're going to go!

Connor was already nearly gone from Matthew's line of sight before he tried to call out to him. "Where are you-" He stopped himself as the reason why hit him like a truck.

Well, fuck you then.

It couldn't be because of Amber. He handled an emotional Drew just fine, so Matthew had to be the culprit. Of course it was. He wouldn't mindlessly agree with anything Connor wanted to do. His spot as the leader was being threatened, so the best thing in his mind apparently was to run away like a pussy. Matthew knew something was off about him.

And just like that, it went out of control. Mike was quick to follow Connor and Amber went after him as well after bandaging her arms. Again, Matthew tried to get their attention.

"Uh, guys! We don't even know where we're going! Come back!"

But nobody even responded. He was alone with Regina. Just fucking great. It could've been worse, though.

Matthew put his palm on his face. This shit was really wearing on him. He hoped she would be willing to slow it down a bit, though. Even she has to realize how trying to follow the others was a bad idea, right?

"Wait, Regina," he said with an irritated tone, "we didn't establish where we were going and now, because Connor wanted to get away from us, they're just blindly walking through the damn woods." He then took a deep breath. "Can we just stick together and go somewhere without getting lost? Please?"

[Tonyksin]

One by one, all the people around her started to vanish.

First Connor went to scout ahead, claiming that he’d send a signal when he made sure everything was clear. No signal ever came. The only signal being the lack thereof. Connor vanished into the trees, and Regina knew in her heart she wouldn't be seeing him again anytime soon. Soon after, before she could even speak a word in protest, Mike followed after him, his figure disappearing among the branches and leaves. Another companion lost. Amber was no different, running to try and catch two people who left the group behind. She too was but a mere memory after a few moments.

Regina felt her stomach clench.

Some leader she’d turned out to be. They were wise to follow after Connor and not want to be saddled with someone as weak and ineffective as her. Matt was the only one who didn’t leave her, and for that much, at least, she was grateful. He confirmed her earlier thoughts. Connor wanted to be rid of them. It made sense. Regina brought nothing to a survival group. She was just a silly girl who wanted everyone to get along.

Useless.

Matt begged her to stay with him so they didn’t get separated, and she offered him a weak smile in response. Of course she wouldn’t leave him. Where else could she go? She had no means of defending herself on her own. At least with Matt beside her she had some peace of mind. Even though all the others abandoned them, at least they had each other for now.

“I won’t leave your side, don’t worry.” She said, grabbing his hand in hers and squeezing gently.

“We can figure out where we’re going on the way. Let’s just go. Please.” Her voice shook on the last word, and she felt the tears start to threaten to spill from the sides of her eyes.

Not letting go of him, she began to walk in a random direction, making sure she still had a hold on Matthew no matter what.


[Regina Petrov Continued In Hear. Fear. Here.]

[Super Weegee]

Making sure to stuff the map back in his bag and picking up the umbrella he put down, Matthew couldn’t help but smile back at Regina with her reassuring words.

He made sure to stay close to her, holding her hand just as tightly as she was. Yeah, they were walking with no destination in sight, something that he just complained about, but at least he was with someone he can trust. That, and he knew exactly who to stay away from. At least for now.

It was worth the whole mess, honestly.

((Matthew Hunt continued in Hear. Fear. Here.))