Steady As She Goes

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The lower wilderness borders the village directly and is made up of thick collections of tropical trees. Due to the ease at which one can get lost or turned around in the wilderness it is recommended that people stick to the existing paths—or what’s left of them. Both patches of wilderness are also home to populations of monkeys, parrots, and goats descended from those originally kept in the menagerie.

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VoltTurtle
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#31

Post by VoltTurtle »

"U-uh? Sure?" Amber said, the uncertainty in her voice fairly apparent. "...Why are you crouching down like that?"

I have made a terrible mistake.

I tried to warn you.

Amber had seriously misjudged the situation and the intent of those around her, and now she was having to deal with the consequences. She considered whether or not she should accept the situation as it stood, as the panic started to set back in. One one hand, they didn't seem to think she was crazy, and Connor was trying to recruit her into the group that they had inadvertently formed, so that displayed some amount of trust. On the other hand, that could just be them trying to spare her feelings, and that they really did think that she's crazy now. Matt in particular seemed to know exactly what she was talking about and made it clear to the rest of them that tulpas were something weird, if they didn't already know before.

Staring blankly at Connor, she continued trying to internally puzzle out what she needed to do. No, they definitely knew now, and if she didn't do anything they'd definitely think she was crazy. Her nerves were already getting frayed at the thought- she couldn't spend her last days on Earth being treated like a social pariah again. She had to do something to play the situation off, make them think it was all a joke.

Maybe that was a good idea.

This is a bad idea, you should just accept-

"Uhh well anyway, uh, y-yeah, you see I already contributed to the group!" Amber interjected, just as new conversation was about to start. She continued, her voice giving away just how unsure she was about what she was saying. "I... uh... heard you guys being all down and I uh... decided to do a little improvisational comedy to try to cheer you up!" She made a vibrant little pose as she spoke, doing her best to maintain her smile as large amounts of sweat began to bead up on her face. "S-So uh... that's why I did all that, because I thought you guys might, uh, might find it funny!"

Amber realized that this was yet another bad idea in the long string of bad ideas that she has had in the last ten minutes. She was in too deep now, however, so she had to commit to it, otherwise she would look like an even bigger idiot than she already was.

"S-So," She began again, attempting to move on to her closing line. "O-Of course I can lend my strength," she said, before swinging her arm to flex. "I've got lots of strength to spare!"

She smiled wider, quelling the internal screaming that told her that she needed to run as fast as possible away from this entire ordeal and pretend it never happened. She couldn't screw up this early this quickly with people that knew most of her friends.

I'm so fucked there's no way they'll buy that.

They might, who knows! No going back now, anyway.
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Primrosette
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#32

Post by Primrosette »

Drew didn't realize it until he was pretty much thinking more clearly and he was listening more to the others talking around him. But he felt like he was getting a bad feeling. A gut feeling. He didn't know why he felt like this but....

This group feels too... nice. I don't know if I like it at all. Everyone is more or less being nice. Okay, Matthew was being snarky but I guess that is just how he is. Connor seems like he has everything under control. But I can't shake my feeling away so easily. Big groups have always been something that I don't like that much to be around unless it was volleyball or just hanging out with my friends. What if this group turns on each other in the next few days? I don't want to be a part of that conflict. I know I'm thinking in a paranoid state of mind, but I have to make sure not to get in this group's possible crossfire in the future. I... I have to find my friends. Alone.

Drew bit his lip as he picked up the bag that he had touched and he slung it over both of his shoulders. He then glanced at Mike who was beside him and he suddenly felt guilty about what he was going to do next. "Mike, I'm sorry. But I can't stay with you guys. I needed to find my friends by myself. Big groups just feel like a bad idea to me right now and I don't want to drag you guys down." Drew whispered in Mike's ear and he give Mike's shoulder a gentle squeeze. Was it to comfort Mike? Or was it to comfort himself? He didn't know. "Please, stay safe, Mike."

Drew got up to his feet slowly and he glanced over to the others who seemed to be busy with Amber. Amber would possibly be a better fit for the group and Drew really, really hoped that he was wrong about this group betraying each other at the later date.

Drew found himself stared at Connor's back and he took the chance to say what he wanted to say. "I'm leaving, guys." He said with a determination in his tone of voice and he wondered what happened to the scared, sobbing kid that he had been a few moments ago. "...On my own."
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#33

Post by Super Weegee »

It was painfully obvious that they didn't find his joke funny, but when Matthew saw the others try to convince Amber that nobody thought he was crazy, he barely stopped himself from snorting in amusement again. Of course they were going to start lying to her. It had to be an hour or two at most since they all woke up, right?

That feeling was soon dissipated when Connor gave him another look in the middle of his talk with Amber that he didn't like, which made Matthew roll his eyes.

Get used to it, buddy, it's not going to magically go away for a long time.

Well, at least Connor managed to convince Amber to stay with them for a bit. As long as she made contributions that were useful and not just making jokes, this could end up working out. Asides from her obvious lying, though that's manageable.

"Then by all means," Matthew said, smiling, "welcome aboard."

Just as it seemed as though they were finally going to start working as a group, Drew just suddenly announced that he was going to wander around on his own.

"So, we put all that work in for you and you're not even going to help us. Good to know." was what he nearly said before stopping himself. If the others want him to stay, he really didn't want to push Drew away and piss everybody else off.

Instead, Matthew crossed his arms again and decided to ask Drew a question instead.

"Where are you even gonna go, dude?"
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#34

Post by Tonyksin »

Everything seemed, once again, to be finally calming down. Regina wasn’t sure how much more of this bi-polar atmosphere she could reasonably handle right now. Amber seemed to be relaxing, and she couldn’t hear Drew’s screams anymore. Thank goodness. She took a deep breath and tried to relish the small quiet while it lasted. Connor appeared at her side to talk some more to Amber. Regina listened and cocked an eyebrow at his monologue. She had to admit, he was a good speaker. Maybe instead of football he should have went into something that utilized public speaking, like sales or marketing. As she mused over the thought, she caught herself and grimaced a bit when she remembered their current situation.

None of that mattered here, unfortunately. They may never get a chance to see any part of their futures.

Regina wrapped her arms around herself tightly and tried to pull herself together. She had to shake off the negative thoughts and keep a smile on. If not for herself, then at least for the people around her. Sitting here and bemoaning their situation wouldn’t accomplish anything! She had to keep her head up and keep moving forward; that was the only way any of them had a chance of making it through this hell.

Amber suddenly tried to explain away her previous freak out as an improv comedy routine, and Regina simply smiled sadly at her. Amber was embarrassed, that much was obvious. May as well let her excuse fly, it’s not like it really mattered in the long run. Besides, she wouldn’t be the first one to start talking to themselves when they were all alone in the woods. Before regina found the group, she had quite the running dialogue going in her head, trying to keep herself from losing it. Just because Amber voiced it instead of keeping it in her head didn’t make them any different.

“That’s great!” She smiled as she responded to Amber’s claim of having plenty of strength to add. “We’re all going to need to lean on each other right now. We’re stronger together.” She nodded and moved her eyes from Amber over to Connor and Matt.

“Right?” She smiled sweetly.

But just as soon as that was settled, Drew announced that he was going to leave the group. Regina spun on her heel to look at him in shock and sadness. Why? It was safer to stay with everyone than to try and make it alone out there, right? Regina couldn’t make sense of his decision.

“Matt’s right.” She spoke up. “Isn't it better to stay with everyone?”

It’s scary out there alone.
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#35

Post by Somersault »

Well, yep, Amber was crazy. That's all Mike knew for certain in this place, her hurried excuses only digging her deeper and deeper. Maybe it wasn't polite to think that 'bout a lady, but a guy could still raise a brow, and that was what he did. If a bish crazy, a guy had a right to be looking worried. None of this made a whole lick of sense- not to him, at least. So, he figured he might as well just listen silently and take in what everyone else had to offer.

Mike nodded at Drew's pat, offered him a token grin. An easy one, just as if this was all just regular business.

Honestly, he was cool with Drew leaving, cool with all of it, really, even appreciated the initiative the other dude had. If you were gonna die, might as well die with your friends or something, right? Didn't know why he was acting so sorry 'bout it, 'cause it wasn't as if he was shooting up the whole place or something, but yeah. Whatever. Staying alive here meant something way different from staying safe, 'specially when only one lucky bastard'd get alive. If he were a betting man, Mike would've put down good money on neither him or Drew being that one.

"I'll try my best, man."

But now, everyone was starting to get real stressed about Drew deciding to go up and leave, which, like, sure. Wasn't safe out in the woods, he could get murdered, killed, yeah. It'd suck, basically. Still was his own choice to make, his own cross to bear, and for once, the numbness that'd seemed to spread through Mike's entire body began to fade.

Slowly, he stood up, patting the dust off of his jeans.

"So, like, okay, people," Mike started. "If Drew wants to, ya know, go, then he can like go, ya know?"

"His decision, after all." Ordinarily, Mike would've never spoken up, let it all just ring through and through, but he kinda felt bad for the dude. Obviously, nothing was really going right here, and the fact that Drew had woken up screaming crying-like probably wasn't super great, but still, he was a person. He had the right to do as he pleased. Wasn't as if they were his parents, anyways.

He shrugged, and fiddled with his wristbands again. His lips were pursed, eyes heavy-lidded as he looked around the group. "...'Least, those're my two cents."

Too late for himself, anyways.
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#36

Post by Cactus »

"That's great. Really great, thank you hun. Glad to have you along. We'll need you."

Connor's smile was wide and his teeth almost glinted in the light that crept down through the trees. The area was filled with natural shading, but the sun squeezed through just enough to illuminate certain parts of the area. Where Amber ended standing happened to be one of them, and it added just a little something to his calming voice. He could feel the rays beat down upon his back, his neck - that collar was an issue, wasn't it - and as he straightened his legs back up to his full height, he nodded reassuringly at Amber. This girl obviously had a full swarm of bats flapping around in her attic and he made a mental note to keep an eye on her, or at least make sure Regina did. Unstable might have been a kind way to put it, but if her embarrassment for whatever she'd blurted out kept her in line, so be it.

Amber was a means to an end.

As he was about to open his mouth to say something else, Drew finally found his own voice and announced his desire to leave. Connor didn't turn around, but listened as he laid out his plan to find his friends. A moot point and probably a futile one, but he understood the sentiment. If one believed that they were going to die, why not try and spend your last moments with those you cared about? It was the rational thing to do in an irrational situation. Slowly turning around, he looked at Matthew, who voiced his objection; then Mike, who backed the wet noodle. Putting his hand to his chin, Connor slowly nodded a few times.

"Much as we'd like to have you stick around," Connor started hesitantly, "I reckon that finding your buddies is as good a reason as any to leave. Lord knows we'd all like to do the same."

Connor put on a disappointed look, but in the forefront of his mind, he said good riddance. Drew's reaction upon waking meant that his mental stability was likely hanging by a thread, and if he were to choose between Amber and Drew, he'd rather deal with a weak personality that wasn't screaming its head off.

"Mike's right," another affirmation for Mike, who seemed perked up by Connor's trust in him. That was good. Very good. "Y'all know we can't stop you, and I wouldn't. You just remember - we see you again, we're friendly, you hear? No matter what happens, if you find yourself in trouble, just try and find us. We'll work it out."

Confident, yet absolutely full of shit. When Drew left the area, Connor was more than certain he'd never see the boy again; not alive, anyway. Drew and his weak countenance would be easy pickings for some of the more violently-minded people, anyone who bought in to the sick charade would dispatch him with ease. His thoughts went to his own friends, none of whom he'd mentioned by name yet, and he felt himself pale just a little. Wyatt and Bret were undoubtedly forces to be reckoned with, but would they submit themselves to violence? Both of those guys could probably kill Drew with a punch if they put their minds to it.

Again, the sadness. He wished them the best, but he didn't want to find them. He didn't want to see the Carters, Ace, or even Madison. He didn't want to see them depraved, fighting for their lives, or even there to comfort one another in their last moments. Connor wouldn't be seeking them for solace.

He wouldn't be dying today. This wasn't his time.

Drew was leaving, which was fine. Connor looked away from him and at the rest of his allies, all of whom seemed to have shaken off their initial panic. It was time for a new plan of attack. He took the lead; it was natural, easy.

None of them would make it a day once Connor was gone.

Shame, that.

"Y'know, Drew might have a point. Maybe we should look for somewhere a bit better to hole up? We're sittin' ducks out here in the open."
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#37

Post by Primrosette »

Drew knew that people would have reacted differently to his announcement. Regina and Matthew seemed like they didn't want him to leave. Which he understood about Regina, but he was slightly surprised that Matthew would want him to not go off on his own. Where would he go? He didn't know. But he would figure it out. He had always been too dependant on others to take care of him, he had been too clingy to other people. It was about time for him to take care of himself without being a burden to others. This group was better off without a crybaby like himself. God, he was scared of going on his own but he wanted to stick by it for as long as he could.

Mike was in support of his idea and Drew wanted to hug the guy to show his appreciation. But he held back his urge of wanting to be affectionate to another person and he just gave Mike a small smile of admiration. He couldn't get attached to Mike. So all he could do is cry on the inside. He couldn't show that he was more of an emotional wreck. He had to grow up. Just a little. He really didn't want anything to happen to Mike or the rest of the group while he was gone. He wonder if he would see any of them again. Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn't. He had to wait and see.

Drew's head turn towards Connor and he listened to Connor's words carefully. Drew almost felt himself wanting to frown, but he held back that emotion behind a convincing, fake smile. Drew didn't know why he felt a wave of distrust towards Connor. Maybe he thought that Connor was too confident for his own good. Too cocky, too... positive? Not that Drew would say that to Connor's face right now. Drew knew that he could be a bit insensitive to others and he really didn't want to make others annoyed at him for saying things that might be bad.

"Um.... Yeah, yeah. I'll definitely make sure to find you guys again." Lies. "I'm sorry for doing this right now. I hope you all will stay safe. Connor's right. You should find somewhere to stay. The woods are definitely too open for people to start.... shooting at you all. Um, maybe find some buildings and barricade yourself in for a while? I don't know...."

Drew's curious eyes went back to looking at Connor again. He just couldn't shake that feeling of distrust and alarm bells coming from this guy. Did he feel the same towards the others in this group? He didn't know the answer to that. But Connor.... There was something about Connor that made him want to run away as fast as he could.

Drew turned to pick up the other bag that was on the ground and it felt a bit lighter than the bag on his shoulders. He let out a small sigh and then he took a few deep breathes. Then he glanced back at the group once more.

"Well, I'll be going now. I.... I hope to see you guys again. Goodbye!"

He gave them a wide grin, a quick wave of his hand and then he made a dash off into the woods with no direction in mind.

Lies, lies, lies, lies....

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#38

Post by VoltTurtle »

Amber was dumbfounded that they all seemingly accepted her excuse. She didn't actually think that her terrible idea would work.

Of course, there was always the possibility that they were just accepting it in order to avoid further drama, which she couldn't blame them for. She knew that she was a ball of drama, she had accepted this a long time ago. She just hoped that her over-dramatic personality came off as funny or charming instead of annoying.

Overall, it would probably be for the best if she just let sleeping dogs lie, for now, even if they were all just feigning acceptance.

Drew seemed to be intent on leaving. She couldn't blame him, it wasn't like she helped to stabilize the situation when she originally arrived. She gave a small wave in his direction, unsure if he noticed it. It didn't really matter if he did, anyway, she didn't know him, and he probably didn't know her. Her wave was a token effort, a simple acknowledgement from her to him of their mutual humanity, before she likely never saw him again.

She didn't know how to feel about that thought. The idea that this was likely the last time that she would see someone alive was more horrifying to her than any thought of her own death. She could barely handle the idea that someone could just disappear like that, forever. That kind of loss was staggering for her to consider, and it was always her main worry whenever she thought about death. That idea, that loss, was the only concern that she had about the idea of her own death. She didn't care about it from her own perspective--she wouldn't be around to experience the aftermath herself, after all--all she cared about was the effect her death would have on those around her.

All these ideas swam through her head in that one small moment, that panic at them already starting to set in, even though it was likely that not a single person had died yet, she couldn't fathom the idea of it happening to anyone, even someone she didn't know at all.

Realizing the unhealthy train of thought she was going down, Amber shook her head to clear the thoughts, and focused once again on the situation in from of her.

She was unsure what to think about the burgeoning group that they were now forming. She liked everyone in it well enough, but something about Connor's behavior was nibbling at the back of her mind. She wasn't sure how she felt about him seemingly taking charge and trying to control the situation from the moment she arrived. She was always suspicious of people who acted that way, people who were too quick to try to seize power and control every situation they were in. Add onto that the fact that he was being weirdly nice to her in a way that didn't feel genuine, and Amber was left with an already sour taste in her mouth.

Still, she couldn't just up and leave like Drew, she liked nearly everyone here, even Connor. Perhaps it would be better if she stuck around to help improve the situation for everyone involved? Perhaps she could even try to point out that they should vote on who should be leader, to help reign in Connor's behavior.

Yeah, a vote would be great, now that I'm thinking about it.

Are you sure?

Trust me Blue, I've seen like, eight YouTube videos about voting systems. I'm practically an expert.

"Hey! Um..." She started to say, unsure of her words. "If uh... if we're going to form a group here shouldn't we, like, vote on the leader or something? Because it's uh..."

She struggled for a bit, trying to think of a short but snappy way of justifying her idea.

"...the, uh, the American way?"
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#39

Post by Super Weegee »

Barricade in a building somewhere? That's honestly not a bad idea. Given that there had to be some people already at each other's throats, they could just wait it out. Assuming that they weren't forced out of wherever they were hiding, of course.

Just as soon as Drew brought that up, though, he went away and out of sight. Yeah, Drew didn't know where he was going. The answer had to be 'no', considering how he didn't answer Matthew's question on where he would go and how he was acting earlier. Did he even look at the map?

Ok, Matthew didn't look at it himself, but having some idea of where to go is better than none at all.

After a few seconds of silence, crazy girl Amber brought up the idea on voting for a leader. "That sounds like a good idea." he said to Amber as he considered his options. Almost immediately, his mind drifted to Connor as the obvious choice.

Too obvious, actually.

Sure, he can make speeches and seemed to have his shit together, but it kind of felt...too good to be true. Compared to the others who could maybe fit, he was the one who took the spotlight. Yeah, it wasn't really fair. For all Matthew knew, he could genuinely want the best for everyone. Knowing what Matthew had seen of him though, he's likely going to jump at the chance and make all of the decisions. Shouldn't all of their opinions count?

Since that option wasn't exactly favorable, he decided to go with the other option of Regina. Asides from the fact that he actually knew her, she was just so caring and nice, not to mention that she'll likely take everybody's opinions into account. Keeping the peace and de-escalating situations are going to help big time in the long term. While that'll stop working later down the line, Matthew highly doubted that the majority of their classmates would be down for actively hunting down and killing the innocent. Besides, he didn't know if anybody here well-armed against the potential threats.

Matthew made sure to speak before Connor managed to start another corny speech about how he was the oh-so perfect choice for the position.

"I appreciate that you want to be the leader, Connor, but I honestly think that Regina should be the leader. She's acting like the peacekeeper right now and it's more important that we get in as few conflicts as possible. We shouldn't go out causing trouble unless we absolutely have to."
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#40

Post by Tonyksin »

Mike and Connor both seemed to agree that Drew could leave if that was what he wanted. Regina wanted to protest again, but she kept quiet, because deep down she knew they were right. She had no right to keep him here when he wanted to go out and search for the people that mattered to him. All she could do was keep him in her thoughts and prayers as he went. As he left, she briefly wondered how her own loved ones were doing. She frowned a bit and bit her lip in frustration. She wished she was brave enough to go out and search for them on her own. But she wasn’t brave, not even a little. It was taking everything she had just to keep herself from falling to pieces every second.

Connor suggested that they move on from the woods and try and find a building to hole up in for a while while they plan out their next move. It was a good idea, getting out of their current area, but a building might not be the best place for them to hideaway in. There were five of them, and that was a decent sized group. That meant when they moved as a group they would be easier to spot, and it would be hard for them to get anywhere under the radar. Most others probably had the same idea, hide in a building, which meant they had a pretty high possibility of running into other students.

That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it did run the risk of them finding someone who wasn’t looking to be friendly.

She squeezed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and pointer figure to try and collect her thoughts. She didn’t know what to do. Should she speak up, and argue against finding a place to hide, or was it the only option they realistically had available to them? As she was thinking, she was brought out of her own mind by Amber’s voice. A leader? That honestly seemed like the least of their problems right now, in Regina’s opinion. Who cared who was ‘in charge’? This wasn’t a school club or a sports team, they didn’t need a leader. They all just had to work together to survive.

Then Matt spoke up, denouncing the idea of Connor being the leader, and instead claiming that she take on the role. Regina’s eyes went wide and she stared at Matt with a look of disbelief and slight confusion. Her, a leader? Did he really see her that way? Honestly she didn’t want to lead anyone, she just wanted to wake up from this terrible situation. But that wasn’t exactly an option, was it?

Damn it all.

“I…” She started, looking up at the group with a re-ignited fire in her eyes.

“I don’t really think a leader is the most important thing we need right now, but obviously it’s important to some of us, right?” she looked at Amber and Matt.

“I don't know if I’m qualified for that. All I can say is I’d do my best.” she turned her eyes to look at Connor.

“Connor, if we’re gonna survive this place, we all need to work together. We need everyone’s strength. So no matter who we decide to take the lead, let’s make sure we live to see tomorrow. Together!” She felt a wetness in the corner of her eyes, but she blinked the tears away without another thought.
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Somersault
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#41

Post by Somersault »

So, Mike kinda had to admit that he kinda got a good feeling when Connor backed him up on the whole Drew thing. The tension melted away, giving to a feeling. The kinda feeling he got when he threw a good pitch, the pat on a back after a hard-earned win or finishing a song. Just a little giddy. Drew was smiling at him, in thanks or something or other, and he was smiling back, but not really 'cause of the good he'd done.

It was still nice to feel like part of something, to feel almost normal. He was still smiling, just a little, as Connor continued, nodding along to his idea just like that. The idea was good, wasn't it? Hole up, stay safe, stop going 'round and round like a carousel. Yeah, it had to be good, considering whose mouth it was coming from. Good for him, yeah, good for everyone else. Not for Drew, who was up and off and at it, but dude was off to do his thing now.

His eyes widened, and fine, his eyebrow raised as Amber started off, if only 'cause he was still 1000% sure she was nuts. It wasn't to like, what was the thing, throw shade or whatever, but what gave her the authority to go and declare that a vote was needed? The fact that she'd been screaming her head off? Like, Mike was still cool with Amber, she seemed alright back at home and all, but something still just didn't sing right about her. Something just fell flat. A note out of tune, a chord not ringing true.

But yeah, still a lady, still not polite to say anything, because like-

"Wait, what?"

How the hell was Gina the best choice for leader? Not that she wasn't great, 'cause she was, all motherly-like and shit, but that didn't really mean leader. Especially when Gina herself didn't really seem so hot on the idea. She did really try to pump people up after that, spoke on about how they didn't need a leader, but just as the baseball team would've sucked without Abel, this whole shebang wasn't getting off without someone to start it all off. And that person's name probably started with a C and ended with an -onnor.

"I mean, Gina's right, we all got different thoughts and things and all, but like, who was the one who got us to all group up in the first place? Connor. Who got us to go help Drew? Him, again!"

Mike tried to stand up straighter now, tried to stare down all the rest (well, Matt), arms crossed, air horn still in hand.

"Like, not to be imposin' or anything, but he did make this whole thing happen, soooo..."
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Cactus
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#42

Post by Cactus »

"That is," Connor allowed himself a toothy grin, "very American."

Fatty wants to make an impact, how sweet, were the first words through Connor's mind as Matthew agreed with Amber's assertion of holding a leadership convention. Here. In the wilderness. On the first day of Survival of the Fittest, the most hellish experience that anyone could think to have - outside of playing for the New York Jets, he reckoned.

Yeah, that might've been worse.

Anyhow, Connor was fully aware of where Matthew was coming from, it was entirely based in jealousy. All of the things he had, the traits he possessed? Just looking at the slovely mass of humanity in front of him was enough to answer any questions he might have had regarding his motivations. The rotund teenager was going to disagree with more or less anything Connor said, because he represented everything that fatty wasn't. Successful. Fit. Popular. Rich.

Simply put, Matthew was going to be a problem going forward. Connor filed that away in the back of his mind as he smiled and nodded once Regina's name was put forth. Everyone else had their moment to chime in; he stayed silent, nodding and listening intently to all that they had to say. Regina was flustered by the suggestion; no surprise there, and Mike had firmly tossed his support behind Connor's flag - again, no surprise. Finally, it was his turn.

"Aw shucks, Mike," he shook his head softly at the boy's support. "I appreciate you sayin' all that. But I think Regina's right. This ain't no football game, it ain't a pep rally. We're all out here trying to live one more day. I don't profess to know what's best for y'all."

He gulped and the smile fell away, scaling his confidence back for the moment.

"I'm scared, guys. I'm doin' my best here to try and pretend like we don't all have collars around our necks, but," he bit his lip, trailing off and looking at the ground for a moment. "If we all look out for each other, the decisions'll make themselves. We're all after the same thing here, right? Find our pals, survive, find a way outta here?"

How noble. Connor almost had himself convinced.

"If y'all want to do something different, I'm all for it. Whatever keeps everyone safe. That's what's important to me."

Connor had slouched a bit as he dialed his charisma back a little, and now he started to fiddle with his fingernails. He looked around at each of them again. Chubs McGee, the Cuckoo Clock, the Mother Hen, and Gumby. They would all have a part to play in making sure Connor found his way to his liberation. Maybe he'd even get to know some of them a bit in the process. Establishing charities in their name would be more apt if it were something they actually cared about, after all.

"Matthew's right; heck, so is Regina. We need to stay out of trouble, stay off the radar. But y'all know we need to take this one day at a time. So let's worry about right now, first."

He straightened up a little, making a show of shaking his head and 'remembering' himself, flicking his hands as though to shake away the anxiety.

Connor hadn't forgotten himself, not one bit.

"I still think it might be best for us to move on from here. We don't want to be sittin' ducks if anyone comes along with a big ol' gun and a grudge. Might be good to figure out who we want to find, too - if anyone. But I'll go with whatever y'all decide."

They would do whatever he decided in the end, of course. He was under no illusions. This was his ship to steer; his squad to captain. After all - leaders didn't have to wear a letter to lead.
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VoltTurtle
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#43

Post by VoltTurtle »

Amber was pleased that everyone seemed to like her voting idea; she almost wanted to gloat about it, but elected to keep that from leaking out of her internal world.

She wasn't very confident in how the group was talking, however, focusing so much on survival plans. She didn't personally understand the point, since as far as she saw it, ensuring your own survival in a situation like this necessarily meant killing, and that was completely unacceptable to her. She didn't want anybody here to get the wrong idea and go down a path like that. "Hey um..." She began, unsure of herself as she started to talk. "Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt, but I just thought I had something kinda important to say."

She took a deep breath, then began to lay out her thoughts to the group.

"So I think we gotta establish what our goals are here if we're just gonna go and make a survival plan, because if your goal is 'survive the game' then I've got some really unfortunate news for you. There's only two ways you can survive something like this, win the game or escape. The problem, though, is that both of those options suck. See, with trying to win the game, there's an easy strategy you can come up with that's really effective, get a gun, find a base, secure it and barricade everything you can, and shoot anyone who shows up on sight. Everyone takes turns guarding the place, and everyone moves to a new base if the area becomes a danger zone. The problem with that, though, is that you have to kill people, which is absolutely not okay in the slightest, and even if you do lose all sense of morality and decide that killing your friends is okay, there's still the obvious outcome of the group falling apart later in the game, since only one person can actually make it out, so it becomes this prisoner's dilemma bullshit that nobody wants to deal with."

Amber took another deep breath, continuing her tirade.

"So 'win the game' sucks and is bad. You might think that escaping is the better option, and I'd agree that it's the better option of two terrible options, but it still sucks. Sure, you don't have to kill anyone and you don't have to worry about group dynamics falling apart, but the problem with escaping is that it almost certainly won't work. See, I'm pretty familiar with the history of this game, and I know for a fact that almost none of the escape attempts worked, and the ones that did usually killed the people enacting them. Also, the ones that worked only worked because of outside interference, which makes sense, because we're a bunch of dumb teenagers with bombs strapped around our necks trying to go up against the most well funded and successful terrorist organization in the world. It's really a fool's errand to try and bet everything on escaping, and if you go down that route you really have to understand that there's a good ninety-nine percent chance you'll die. If you really wanted to survive above all else, then playing the game would be a better option, but I just got done saying how that's awful so you really don't have any good options, and that's why I'm skeptical of survival plans when it comes to this. It's also why I accepted that I was going to die as soon as I watched one of my teachers get executed right in front of me."

Inhaling once again, Amber finally stopped for a moment and noticed that almost everyone was staring at her.

Shit they probably want to know why I know all of that.

"Oh I um," she began again, "I uh, only know all of this stuff because I used to watch it when I was younger, to like, emotionally self harm and... stuff." She raised one of her arms, letting her loose-fitting, all-too-warm hoodie's sleeve slide away, revealing the deep, criss-crossing scars coating her forearm. "...Mostly because I, uh," she gave a sheepish smile, the act of revealing her scars being no big deal to her. "...ran out of places to cut and not have my parents see."

Lowering her arm back down and letting her sleeve cover it again, she shrugged and tried to play the situation off. "Anyway, I just didn't want anyone to get false hope or bad impressions or anything. I understand wanting everyone to live a few more days, but that's really the best we can hope for if we don't want to be killers. Oh, and also, I vote for Regina to be team leader."
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Super Weegee
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#44

Post by Super Weegee »

Matthew couldn't help but smile at her being hesitant to accept. That just shows that she'll try to keep the group going for as long as possible instead of being a leader for the sake of it. Understandably, Mike wasn't really so hot on the idea. His reasons weren't really mind-blowing, to be honest. Connor offered to group up, sure, but that's like saying the guy who designed the Death Star should lead the Galactic Empire. As for the whole Drew situation, everybody else probably would've helped out regardless of Connor's input.

Considering what Matthew said earlier, it wasn't exactly a good idea to keep arguing. At this rate, it's going to look like Matthew has some kind of hate boner against Connor for no reason. So he chose to keep his mouth shut as Connor once again did another speech on how he was scared and how everybody should look out for each other and blah blah blah. He was right on one thing, though: actually moving somewhere else.

"Yeah, I don't want to be caught with my pants down." Matthew said, nodding towards Connor. Deciding that now is the perfect opportunity to actually look at the damn map, he set his bag down and rummaged through it. After a couple of seconds, he pulled it out and laid it out on the ground for everybody else to look at. He was about to talk about some potentially good spots when Amber began talking, and she was being...unexpectedly rational all of a sudden. She has a strange mind, that's for damn sure.

She went on about how playing the game or trying to escape both suck for a multitude of reasons. To be honest, he agreed with most of it, though she seemed awfully certain that escape won't work no matter what anybody tries to do. Well, she seemed strangely confident in general about what she was talking about. Just as he was about to question how she's so sure, she addressed it and-

"I uh, only know about all of this stuff because I used to watch it when I was younger, to like, emotionally self harm and...stuff."

She...what? Matthew's eyes widened as she revealed her scars on her forearm.

Holy shit, she's not joking! How long was she cutting herself? Why was she watching Survival of the Fittest?

Just before he could vocalize his questions, she continued and voted for Regina as if what she said wasn't a big deal. Like...what?

How...why...?

"Uh..." Matthew said awkwardly, "do you want to talk about...what you said about your...scars and why you were...watching Survival of the Fittest...?"
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Somersault
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#45

Post by Somersault »

So, to be suuuper honest, Mike was real prepared to like go all about on the push for Connor thing, continue tryna Starr down Matt and all, but if Connor didn’t want that? Then like yeah, he’d be chill. No need to continue escalating, pushing things over, he supposed, so yeah. Good. Chill. Still didn’t feel real great about Matt, but Mike just shrugged and let the conversational motor keep on motoring or whatever. Wasn’t his place. Not anymore.

Wasn’t as if he had any real great ideas to offer ‘sides that, so he just listened, nodded, smiled all of that as Connor continued speaking, continued motivating them all, even if the little niggles at his back of mind stayed in place. Lotta questions, not a lot of answers, but he could trust Connor. Definitely. Probably.

“Yeah,” Mike stated, just like a nod ‘cept in words. “Probably best to get a move from ‘round here.” Was good to agree, good to be another voice saying yeah, yeah, just like that, even if he wasn’t sure if he felt just like that. Dude had to know.

He resisted the urge to mess with his wristbands just a little more, instead scratching the back of his head. Hair was a mess by this point, probably, but still, it was nice to have it done up all good. Maybe they didn’t take some of his wax. That’d have been nice. Take his mind off of everything for a bit.

Couldn’t get his mind off of what Amber was saying, though. Her scars, her rambling, all again, and all Mike really wanted to do was pretend this was just like the tool-pa shit, crazy shit, but all those thoughts he had when he woke up on that sand rushed back to the front, and without anything else to stare at, he looked at the ground. Certainly wasn’t used to being the awkward duck in a conversation, but there was a first time for everything. Second time to have his death and all staring him straight in the face rather than just sitting at the back of his mind, actually, but that didn’t really help things any.

Matt was talking again, and just like that, Mike and he finally had some common ground, but it was a cold sorta comfort, like a strikeout after letting a homer go by.

Mike looked up again, at everyone else, smiled again, too, but it felt cold, plastic. Brushed some hair off the side of his face, keep some warmth.

“So, uh, other than all the murder talk, all agree we gotta get a move on?”

He giggled at the end of that, ‘cause of reflex more than anything. A nervous one, full of nothing but freezing air. He giggled, ‘cause if he didn’t, didn’t do nothing like it, he was gonna cry.
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