The Arrow in Your Heart

[KamiKaze]

Your boy…?

Was Dale accusing her of having some sort of thing with Leo? Mary knew SOTF shipping was a thing, and it was only an example of how the fanbase was weird sometimes. For a moment, she looked around. She couldn’t see cameras anywhere. She was… pretty sure it was a partner dynamic? She had no idea how Leo felt about her, but… well, she saved his life, she patched him up, and he told her to stay. But, she couldn’t save him the second time they decided to go to the cruise ship. She was thinking about going back to the ship since she was out of it last time she couldn’t do much to hide him from the elements.

Maybe to a bunch of weirdos, that was enough. She didn’t think it was love. But she did miss him.

Mary’s fingers loosed on the oar for a moment, forming into a drum along the shaft.

“Right… If I see them, I’ll have a nice talk, I guess.”

Honestly, Dale did have a point. It was really an RJ thing. And an Eric thing. Dale was just… ‘guy there’. She didn’t like his tone, though. Maybe it was because she was feeling on edge. Probably, yeah.

Then, another rude interruption. With her other hand, she moved the flashlight around, but she recognized the voice anywhere. Greeeat. Not only more people, but…

“Junji, I... didn’t know pigs could be cast on the show? PETA is probably mad.”

Despite the harshness in her voice, she was cautious.

She remembered talking with Leo back then, about how getting killed by someone like Laura or Junji would be a nightmare.

Even now, with Leo gone, she didn’t want that nightmare to become a reality.

[Slam]

Junji grinned. Finally, something interesting.

Rebecca was suitably submissive, flashing her orange bandanna immediately. 'Please don't hurt me,' she must've been thinking. 'I can't die to someone as sexy as you.', the panicky thoughts would've been.

...wow, that actually sounded pretty stupid in his head. He was still very bored from just trudging around all day, and seeing new people didn't fix that immediately. Cocky thoughts and malicious grins could not be sustained in his present mindset.

Not helping was the presence of another queer named Dale, and a goth girl who needed a good fucking named Mary. A lippy goth girl at that, but that wasn’t new.

He knew Rebecca was a fan of SOTF, but it wasn’t as if they’d talked about it. At least there was someone who knew how the game worked on his team. It also put them in a two versus two situation, he pondered, unaware of third party Leah’s presence. It was an interesting situation: the first time he'd found another teammate while potential bloodshed was also on the table.

He could’ve pulled the gun out there and then, shot both Dale and Mary and moved along, but that would’ve just made the whole thing over instantly, and it would not have been very exciting. Even if it would’ve put him closer to Seo’s track record and reminded everyone at home who was the star of this season, killers who just walked in and killed everyone without even giving a sound bite to remember them by quickly faded into SOTF obscurity. That wasn’t going to happen to him.

So the boredom won out over any thoughts of homicide, at least for now, and he decided to make an earnest effort at small talk. Even Junji could be a people person from time to time.

“Mary, shut the fuck up or I’ll drown you like a pig.” he started with a casual wave, adopting a laid back stance of hands behind the head as he looked at the group. “So, what’re you guys talking about?” he continued, as if they were back at school on a normal break, rather than on a boat where weapons could be drawn at any second. It might have come to that regardless, but he was in no rush.

[Yonagoda]

Ah, threats. Almost exactly what she expected.

There was this sort of cockiness that Junji radiated that made her want to kill him. To make it hurt. It also made her just the littlest bit jealous of how somebody could just let words spew out of their mouth like watery shit without giving any care for the world's reactions.

A sort of hubris, really.

Dear god, she's jealous of Junji now?

Leah guessed she's always had an affinity for putting herself below others. Shoving them on a pedestal so she could justify her own awfulness.

Didn't work, of course. Nothing nice and kind and friendly worked. Whatever Mateo tried didn't work.

Whatever she's trying just might- or maybe not. Probably not. She resisted that surge of violence, that protective instinct of her's to come to the defense of a Mary she barely knew. Leftover byproducts from evolutionary biology that 21st century American kids didn't need anymore. Empathy's just a tool now. Everything's just a tool now. In a way, she was almost glad for Survival of the Fittest- it didn't show the truth of who they were, but it showed how they could have been.

How the pressure killed their personalities from the inside out.

That was the appeal, wasn't it? Strip them to their core, commercialize them, dehumanize them, and then sell them. Their emotions only had worth if the camera got a good shot of their tears. Every death was a money-grabbing clip, put on youtube after a 15 second ad. Mateo died dark and blurry, and she wondered how much that cost the execs who didn't get that good dramatic lighting.

How would Junji crack? Slowly? Or would all his delusions fall under the weight of his… uh, no. No. Don't psychoanalyze people with a biased view.

Here's a better question.

How much of it was Junji, the child who didn't get hugged enough, and how much was Junji, the murderer whose very existence is now turned into stocks and views?

Here's an even better question:

How hasn't everyone on the boat died yet?

Think about it. Really, really, think about it. Survival of the Fittest thrives on a cycle. An ecosystem. Everybody plays a part- not just predator and prey, but little sub-species and variations, that you can file into neat little boxes with some corporate editing tricks.

Did they have a gun? Have they ever shot anyone with it? Did it make them feel sick to the stomach? Would they do it again?

(Leah, you're floating away again.)

Sorry.

Too many questions.

She's always had too many questions- she got grounded, once, for asking her mother what would happen to the apartment they lived in when she died. She tutted her tongue, like she was saying 'Leah, you disrespectful little child, I've always hated that day when I decided to get creamed and then didn't birth you early with a coat hanger' (even though she knew it was more like a 'you're too young for this, kid' kind of tongue tutting) and ever since then she just questioned it more.

(don't lose sight of the real world.)

Sorry again.

She's always been the more monologue-y kind. Wait, no. No.

Show, not tell. No. No. She shouldn't be thinking this. She shouldn't be constructing more narratives than the one she lived in. She shouldn't be making things coherent when they weren't. No. Get out. Toss this story away. Leah, you aren't living in a story anymore. Nothing would ever be separated into categories that divided themselves cleanly and neatly. Stop that.

Stop these stories.

Stop playing god and shoving words into the people that wrote you. You're a character. You weren't meant to just be readable- there's this watchability too.

Nobody would love a person that they know they don't know anything about, Leah.

Yeah.

Nobody would ever know all those words she buried under her thoughts that she buried under her skin. Nobody would see her as anything more than another lamb ready to be slit if she didn't prove herself.

No, here's the part that you really needed, anyways, since Leah was too busy thinking about her thinking:

She just stood there and listened.

Aborted a quip about pigs that swim, too.

Like a coward.

Because that's who she was.

And she's tired of pretending otherwise.

[Aster]

If Junji acknowledged her bandanna at all, he didn’t show it. She shouldn’t have been surprised, though—while she didn’t know him well, she definitely wouldn’t have pinned him as a team player. Still, though, there was a benefit to this. Junji was clearly dangerous, but there was no way he’d benefit from killing her. Rebecca was effectively the safest person on the boat.

Despite the girl’s insults, Junji was talking casually, as if they all hadn’t spent the past day and a half killing each other on live TV. On some level, Rebecca wanted to savor this quiet moment, but her heart pounded too loudly in her ears. She just couldn’t shake the fact that they were on Survival of the Fittest. Anything awful could happen at any moment, and she was waiting, always waiting for the ball to finally drop.

Rebecca’s eyes darted around, from Junji to the girl to Orin, silently wondering to herself which of them would be the one to make the first move. Regardless of what happened, though, her first instinct would be to crack the boy’s skull open.

[Laurels]

Dale remained frozen in place as the other boy on the scene made his large, morbidly obese presence known. Junji Yamada.

Gross.

Dale knew of Junji, who at Mangrove didn't? Dale stayed away from that guy like the plague. It was bad enough Junji was a fat, ugly nerd, but to be such a toxic asshole that he probably showered in municipal waste made him someone Dale had to make sure he kept his distance from.

But then again, this was the same Junji who apparently killed that Cristobal guy yesterday. So he was a rancid collection of crusty socks and skidmarked underwear who was also now one of the confirmed dangerous people here.

Of course, Mary was already choosing to antagonize the murderous sewer troll, so Dale knew this was probably going to go tits up in a few minutes. And like hell was he going to die because, once again, he ran into people who couldn't control themselves.

"We were talking about Little Shop of Horrors," Dale said to Junji.

Dale pulled himself up so he was now sitting on the edge of the Rocketboat. If he sat like this, he could quickly fall backwards into the sea and disappear into the night if things got bad. The water would probably be cold and salty as hell, but a night swim was preferable to dying here.

"You know, the musical we were supposed to be holding before all of this went down. It's a shame. It was probably gonna be one of the school's best performances."

Dale wasn't sure why he was lying to the amalgamated waste of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but whatever kept the bastard calm and not in a killing mood would be best. Surely the fucker wouldn't kill them because they were talking about inane musicals. Right?

[KamiKaze]

Oh, ew. That’s the tricky thing with Junji. He was the type to turn around insults, perhaps using them as fodder for his personal whack-a-mole sessions. She was pretty sure that upsetting people was his one big thing. What a creep. At least it was just threatening to drown her, though.

At least, Mary?

She gripped the oar tighter.

That was a death threat.

Mary really wanted to smack the oar upside his head. No one would blame her, no one would judge. Right? It wouldn’t take much. One whack, and he’d be on the ground like a balloon full of jello.

So why was Dale continuing to bring up Little Shop of Horrors?

…

Oh.

Oh.

She saw your trick, Dale, you scoundrel.

If he got bored, he’d just go away to stink up someplace else. People always told her ‘ignore them, don’t give them attention.’ Sometimes it worked with like, weirdos on her Insta, where she’d learned to block, report, and not say anything. Other times… well, she really wanted to say something, so she’d have to bite her tongue, or else lash out. She looked around for another camera, then kept her attention on Dale.

“You know… although I was Skid Row? I was looking forward to it. You were great, and…”

RJ popped into her mind again. She tightly squeezed her eyes for a second.

“... It’s a shame things are going differently, right?”

She forced another smile. But she looked at Junji out of the corner of her eye.

Junji, please don’t be that kind of degenerate. You just know he’s the type to go ‘ugh, yeah, eat me Audrey II’. The type to be into the weird stuff that existed in the darkest corners.

Also, just go, Junji.

[Slam]

“Musical? Gay.”

Junji was indifferent to the air of hostility that had formed around him. He was no stranger to the feelings, having dealt with them for most of his school life for one reason or another, and the storm cell formed by Dale, Mary and Rebecca was not sufficient to drive him off. Like a persistent cancer, or an unpleasant smell, silently wishing he would leave had little ability to push Junji away by itself.

He had never seen a play in his life, if such an idea could be believed. The idea of people LARPing on stage seemed pretty sad, and there wasn’t anything you couldn’t do on there that couldn’t be done better on the big screen. Bigger budget, bigger effects, bigger explosions. To Junji, theatre was just one of those holdovers from the before times that old people and queers held on to. He wasn’t sure how it became so affiliated with the homos, but that was a history lesson that had not gleaned his interest.

But interested or not, it was the topic of conversation. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve fucked off in pursuit of greener pastures and greater conversation. In SOTF-TV circumstances, however, his options were to try to get along with them, kill everyone here except for Rebecca and move on, or go back to being bored without the middle man. Since killing everyone still would've been premature, he decided to try and engage with his peers, if only to pass the time.

“So what’s it about? Shop of horrors. Some kind of slasher play or what?”

As if it would be anything that cool.

[Yonagoda]

“Musical?”

Junji, please shut up-

“Gay.”

God fucking dammit.

She cracked her knuckles audibly, but not that audibly. Just a little bit audibly.

Not because of the gay comment, really. Just because… it’s just too much. It’s just not enough. She needed to either get out before something bad happens or she stays here and hope something bad doesn’t happen.

And if she moves the chances are just going to be worse, right? If anyone here sets anyone else off, she has a boundary. A layer made of people, between her and the Other/s. Safety with the flock, as long as she isn’t in it. Just with it. Just staying here, hiding, breathing, blinking, clawing her nails into the knuckles on her fingers as she tried to remember what Little Shop Of Horrors was about.

She sort of remembered talking about it, and she remembered one of the voices, Dale, being in the group involved in it apparently but she... never really talked with him. Never really talked with anyone. Like, talk talked. Like how she talked with Jewel. It was surface level. Dale exist as a surface level entity to her. Rebecca, too. Even when she saw her and Akeno fight. It felt so real but so fake. Like she didn't have any stakes in it.

She racked her mind for LSOH information again.

Her brain came up with nothing.

Maybe it’s for the best.

[Aster]

Rebecca stayed silent as the others spoke. She didn’t see any real reason for her to speak up. Part of it was vestigial, knowing that she had nothing to contribute to a conversation about Little Shop of Horrors. It’d be meaningless filler. What weighed much more heavily on her mind, though, was the fact that Junji had killed someone. That Orin’s teammate had killed one of the other girl’s allies. That there were dozens of corpses littering the flotilla, and most, if not all of them on the boat would join them sooner or later. Maybe it would come much, much sooner than any of them expected.

If that was the case, then Rebecca wanted to make sure it wouldn’t come for her.

The flashlight dropped to her side and clicked off. After a beat, she looked to Junji and tilted her head at Orin. She held the flashlight up to her chest and mimed hitting the boy with it.

[Laurels]

Mary seemed to understand Dale's attempt at subterfuge by playing along. It was nice that she complimented his Orin, even if it was deception, and he then remembered she was in the ensemble. He probably should remember the little people in his work more, if he got more work. That probably would make him more well liked by those around him.

Junji, however, defaulted to homophobia when he heard they were talking about a musical. Dale normally would have went off on the whale with the crusty underwear, but he held his tongue. Junji at least seemed curious about what it was about.

"Uh, kinda," Dale said. "It's about a florist who tries to use an alien plant to win the heart of his crush, but the plant feeds on blood and flesh, so he starts feeding it people. It's pretty dark, but it's still a fun..."

Before Dale could say more, he noticed Rebecca suddenly lower her light, turn it back on, and mime something to Junji.

"Um..."

Oh god, what was happening?

[KamiKaze]

Ah, homophobia. Classic.

Seriously, it wasn’t even the ‘ew gay’ comment that bugged her, but the unoriginality. You’d think homophobes would come up with better material than ‘lol musical theater.’ Then again, they wouldn’t be homophobes.

At least Junji was reasonably ‘off’ right now, though. Mary still didn’t want to die here to a stinky man. She kept her oar close.

Then, partway through Dale’s explanation of the plot, Rebecca’s light went off, and Mary was reminded of the reality of the situation. She saw the motion she made and looked between Dale and Junji.

Then, she lifted the oar in preparation. She… had a bad feeling about this.

[Slam]

Hm?

Junji took a moment to realise what Rebecca was getting at.

“Oh. Oh! Ooooh!”

Huh. Who knew Rebecca had such balls? Maybe she wouldn't be a bad teammate to keep around.

“Cool idea. But I’ve got a better one.” he said in a blasé fashion, before pulling the gun out of his pants and aiming it straight at Dale. He could’ve let Rebecca do her thing, but he’d been aching to use this gun all day. Even with its limited rounds, a mere six remaining, the thrill of finally shooting a real gun had been filling him with childlike glee for hours.

“Shame. The play sounded kind of cool.”

His finger went to the trigger.

But it hesitated. He was looking at Dale. Cristo was looking back at him.

He turned away. Accidentally crossed eyes with Mary. Smirked. A little promise that she was next, a little fear as payback for the pig comment. Nothing at all to do with avoiding looking at Dale as this went down.

A moment later, he fired.

[Laurels]

Dale saw his confusion reflected in Junji's oily face, but Junji seemed to pick up on whatever Rebecca was signaling fairly quickly, as there was now a gun aimed at Dale.

"Jesus fuck!" Dale blurted, slightly scooching back on the railing.

He was now positioned where part of his posterior was hanging over the edge of the Rocketboat. Junji still hadn't fired at him, but now Dale knew for a fact he'd be taking a midnight swim. All that was left was to decide which millisecond would be the one where he took the plunge.

When Junji turned to face Mary and smirked that Dale knew he'd have to go. The fucker had made the choice, and now it was Dale's turn to make his own.

Dale pushed back, and that's when he heard Junji fire. Dale fell backwards, taking his bag and his entire being into the cold, dark ocean. The world was upside down, but soon it was pitch black, and he could feel himself sinking. In that abyss, Dale tried to turn himself upwards, and to figure out where he was, flailing his arms and legs in hope that he could orient himself.

That's when he felt his head hit the side of the Rocketboat, and suddenly, there were vibrations in the water.

[Yonagoda]

Take a deep breath.

Have you ever felt truly happy? Have you ever really been in love before? Have you ever been actually passionate? Have you ever felt true hate? Reverence? Anger? Sadness? Have you truly felt the baseline of any emotion?

Here’s another question: Do you want to know what those experiences feel like before you die?

You have about three seconds to get away from this, Leah. Three seconds to let somebody else eat bullets instead of you.

Who would it be? Another classmate, or another classmate and you? Do you really want to live? Do you think you’re forever broken? Do you think you’ve ever been unbroken in the first place?

She took a deep breath and wrapped her hand around the arrow. Miserably. Like she always was. She was never meant to be an interesting character. Maybe she could still pull something like an ambush off- play the hero, stab whomever that gunshot came from. Y’know, be interesting. Do something interesting. Maybe. Maybe not. She didn’t really know.

She heard the boy fall. She heard the blood in her ears. She heard the voice in her head say that somebody had a gun.

A gun.

She’s never touched a gun before. Never even seen one in real life.

That hand holding the arrow was awfully tense, Leah.

Do you want to do this?

Yeah.

Yeah. She wanted to.

She couldn’t wait to do this, really.

Her legs were tense, too. Tense, then un-tensed. She sprung up.

Like a plant breaking soil.

No longer young. No longer protected. No longer invisible, undetected, unblemished, innocent. She couldn't think of any good metaphors. Do you really needed all the extra flair for a good show? More prose? Effects? Prettier faces? Turn that device off.

[Aster]

Rebecca had heard gunshots countless times before, just from watching SOTF. Even during her time on the flotilla, she’d periodically hear gunfire in the distance, barely registering as background noise. Nothing could have prepared her for just how loud it was up close, though. She jumped, and thankfully the blast drowned out the quiet yelp she let out.

Her chest heaved as her eyes were glued on the empty spot where Orin had been standing. Before she could even register what had happened, before she could even formulate an opinion on Junji's actions, she heard rapidly approaching footsteps. Rebecca spun around to face the girl running at her, and without thinking, prepared to swing the flashlight.