Kaya bit her lip.
She stared at Bethan, eyes wide, gun clenched tightly in her arms, until there was a dribble of red running down her chin.
"Why don't you just go," she said finally, not to Bethan, but Seo-yun. "I'm sure you have better things to be doing."
The steel in her voice belied the tremor in her gaze.
"Just...just leave. Now."
She didn't lift up the gun yet.
Someone Who Needs Me
Waiting on Pippi and Slam
-
VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Oh, Bethan...
It would be so easy to kill her here. In a way, it could be considered merciful to do so. Up to this point she had been spared the horrors of this place, and now all of that had come crashing down in a moment. It must be agonizing to go through something like that. It'd be so easy to spare her any further agony, something that Seo-yun was all too familiar with.
Except, Seo-yun needed to accept what her body was telling her and rest, and there was the threat of Kaya's bullet being the one to finally end her, so her best course of action would be to take Kaya's advice and leave. Besides, she didn't feel like she had the stomach for it right now anyway. She had seen and participated in enough death for a lifetime, and while she still needed a few more kills to secure her freedom, it didn't need to be this kill.
Though, she also didn't want to leave it like this. This was possibly the last interaction she'd get with Bethan, one way or another, and seeing her in this state was just sad. Seo-yun had experienced her fair share of misery, but this was too much. It was like watching someone learn that their beloved puppy didn't actually go to live on a farm upstate.
It made Seo-yun pause, and think. Was there really any enjoyment to be derived from this? She had watched this show in the past, and she had distantly appreciated the sadism and the schadenfreude and the tragedy, but this was nothing but pure anguish without anything to add to it. If she had seen it from behind a screen, allowed that layer of abstraction to distance herself from it, maybe she would have thought nothing of it and gone about her day. Seeing it live and up close, she couldn't help but feel disgust. Why had she ever wanted the love of people who liked to see this? Why had she debased herself so much to get it?
Like a light coming on in the dark, she finally felt something click, and something she had only seen the vague shape of was finally revealed to her. If there was one lesson that she had learned from all her time spent here, and everything she had experienced, it was this: whatever love she had for this show and its audience was long gone.
She came around the corner, weaponless, looking up at Kaya, doing her best to keep her breathing steady.
"I'm going, but first I want to say something."
She crouched down next to her former friend, gently placing her bandaged hand on her shoulder. Nothing she could say or do would make up for everything that had happened, and what would continue to happen from here on out, but maybe it'd make her feel just a little better about herself.
"This show is awful, Bethan," she began, her voice as gentle as it has ever been. "It's completely inhumane, and none of us deserved this. Those of us who liked this show and thought we wanted to be on it had no idea what it was really like."
The words that came out of her mouth were more for herself than they were for Bethan.
"If I can give you any advice, remember that we're just a bunch of teenagers in way over our heads, and you're not alone. Forgive Kaya for her mistake, if you can. Don't push her away and let yourself be alone."
She wouldn't let herself be alone, either. She would find Mandy, come hell or high water.
"When you're ready, make peace with the fact that you might die. Better sooner than later. Most people I've met didn't get that luxury."
With those last words, Seo-yun gave Bethan's shoulder a gentle, friendly squeeze. For a fragile, fleeting moment, Seo-yun could almost forget about the pain and the death, and pretend they were back home and none of this had happened.
Almost.
Seo-yun stood back up, weakly retrieving her gun off of the floor. She didn't spare Kaya or Bethan another look.
"Goodbye, Bethan," she said, taking her first shaky step away. "I'm sorry it had to end this way. It's been nice knowing you."
((Then she disappeared back into the bowels of the ship, once more unto the breach.))
It would be so easy to kill her here. In a way, it could be considered merciful to do so. Up to this point she had been spared the horrors of this place, and now all of that had come crashing down in a moment. It must be agonizing to go through something like that. It'd be so easy to spare her any further agony, something that Seo-yun was all too familiar with.
Except, Seo-yun needed to accept what her body was telling her and rest, and there was the threat of Kaya's bullet being the one to finally end her, so her best course of action would be to take Kaya's advice and leave. Besides, she didn't feel like she had the stomach for it right now anyway. She had seen and participated in enough death for a lifetime, and while she still needed a few more kills to secure her freedom, it didn't need to be this kill.
Though, she also didn't want to leave it like this. This was possibly the last interaction she'd get with Bethan, one way or another, and seeing her in this state was just sad. Seo-yun had experienced her fair share of misery, but this was too much. It was like watching someone learn that their beloved puppy didn't actually go to live on a farm upstate.
It made Seo-yun pause, and think. Was there really any enjoyment to be derived from this? She had watched this show in the past, and she had distantly appreciated the sadism and the schadenfreude and the tragedy, but this was nothing but pure anguish without anything to add to it. If she had seen it from behind a screen, allowed that layer of abstraction to distance herself from it, maybe she would have thought nothing of it and gone about her day. Seeing it live and up close, she couldn't help but feel disgust. Why had she ever wanted the love of people who liked to see this? Why had she debased herself so much to get it?
Like a light coming on in the dark, she finally felt something click, and something she had only seen the vague shape of was finally revealed to her. If there was one lesson that she had learned from all her time spent here, and everything she had experienced, it was this: whatever love she had for this show and its audience was long gone.
She came around the corner, weaponless, looking up at Kaya, doing her best to keep her breathing steady.
"I'm going, but first I want to say something."
She crouched down next to her former friend, gently placing her bandaged hand on her shoulder. Nothing she could say or do would make up for everything that had happened, and what would continue to happen from here on out, but maybe it'd make her feel just a little better about herself.
"This show is awful, Bethan," she began, her voice as gentle as it has ever been. "It's completely inhumane, and none of us deserved this. Those of us who liked this show and thought we wanted to be on it had no idea what it was really like."
The words that came out of her mouth were more for herself than they were for Bethan.
"If I can give you any advice, remember that we're just a bunch of teenagers in way over our heads, and you're not alone. Forgive Kaya for her mistake, if you can. Don't push her away and let yourself be alone."
She wouldn't let herself be alone, either. She would find Mandy, come hell or high water.
"When you're ready, make peace with the fact that you might die. Better sooner than later. Most people I've met didn't get that luxury."
With those last words, Seo-yun gave Bethan's shoulder a gentle, friendly squeeze. For a fragile, fleeting moment, Seo-yun could almost forget about the pain and the death, and pretend they were back home and none of this had happened.
Almost.
Seo-yun stood back up, weakly retrieving her gun off of the floor. She didn't spare Kaya or Bethan another look.
"Goodbye, Bethan," she said, taking her first shaky step away. "I'm sorry it had to end this way. It's been nice knowing you."
((Then she disappeared back into the bowels of the ship, once more unto the breach.))
-
Pippi
- Posts: 1121
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:32 pm
- Location: I'm Pip!
- Team Affiliation: Stephanie's Buccaneers
The only sign that Bethan was even aware of Seo-yun’s presence was when she flinched away from the hand placed on her shoulder.
She just kept on staring straight ahead, eyes blank and dim, even as her once-upon-a-time friend tried to offer her some measure of comfort. The words went into her head, and disappeared instantly amongst the murk, lost within the thundering upheaval inside her mind, the thudding sensation that made her head pound and her ears ring and wouldn’t go away, no matter how tightly she clutched at herself and how much she shook as though she was about to crumble apart.
She didn’t react as Seo-yun’s hand left her shoulder. She didn’t turn, or speak, as the other girl stood up and staggered away, and gave her parting remark. Her only movement was the heavy breathing that wracked her body, the only sounds from her mouth the same. Her nails dug into her, close to piercing the skin of her cheek and the soft flesh of her stomach. She barely noticed. She was barely there. Everything she had been up to this point, the Buccaneer, the swashbuckling hero, the Bethan that all of her friends had known and loved, had all been washed away, sent adrift and sinking in the oceans surrounding her.
She could have been huddled under the stairwell for years and years before some small spark of focus reappeared in her eyes. She looked right at Kaya, right into her eyes. Her hand slowly slipped away from her mouth, the teardrops that had caught on her index finger dripping off and splashing onto her thigh. She looked pale. She looked haunted.
“Tell me the truth.”
Her voice was hoarse and quiet, yet interminably soft in comparison to the harried, heavy breathing that accompanied it. Everything about it was alien to her. Somebody else was speaking in her stead.
“Tell me… tell me what’s happened to them. To… Lucille, to the boy you fought with, anyone that I… that I missed. Tell me everything.”
Her knuckles tensed to a painful degree, as she clenched hold of her body, leaving tiny pinpricks of blood along her side.
“I need to hear it from you, I need… to hear it from your mouth…”
She just kept on staring straight ahead, eyes blank and dim, even as her once-upon-a-time friend tried to offer her some measure of comfort. The words went into her head, and disappeared instantly amongst the murk, lost within the thundering upheaval inside her mind, the thudding sensation that made her head pound and her ears ring and wouldn’t go away, no matter how tightly she clutched at herself and how much she shook as though she was about to crumble apart.
She didn’t react as Seo-yun’s hand left her shoulder. She didn’t turn, or speak, as the other girl stood up and staggered away, and gave her parting remark. Her only movement was the heavy breathing that wracked her body, the only sounds from her mouth the same. Her nails dug into her, close to piercing the skin of her cheek and the soft flesh of her stomach. She barely noticed. She was barely there. Everything she had been up to this point, the Buccaneer, the swashbuckling hero, the Bethan that all of her friends had known and loved, had all been washed away, sent adrift and sinking in the oceans surrounding her.
She could have been huddled under the stairwell for years and years before some small spark of focus reappeared in her eyes. She looked right at Kaya, right into her eyes. Her hand slowly slipped away from her mouth, the teardrops that had caught on her index finger dripping off and splashing onto her thigh. She looked pale. She looked haunted.
“Tell me the truth.”
Her voice was hoarse and quiet, yet interminably soft in comparison to the harried, heavy breathing that accompanied it. Everything about it was alien to her. Somebody else was speaking in her stead.
“Tell me… tell me what’s happened to them. To… Lucille, to the boy you fought with, anyone that I… that I missed. Tell me everything.”
Her knuckles tensed to a painful degree, as she clenched hold of her body, leaving tiny pinpricks of blood along her side.
“I need to hear it from you, I need… to hear it from your mouth…”
Kaya's eyes were wide, teeth clenched, her knuckles trembling against the gun as Seo-yun walked away. She stared at Bethan, almost past her, for a little while. Her breath shook.
Finally, she spoke.
"They're gone."
A deep breath.
"They died. Lucille was killed by Sofia Kowalski. I shot Eric because he tried to shoot us. I..." A deep breath. "I didn't want you to have to see his body so I shoved it into the ocean."
Kaya closed her eyes. She took another deep breath. The gun, still pointing down, shook in her hands. "Those bodies behind us are dead people. I think one of them was killed by Eric, too. Gus. Uhm..." She looked over her shoulder. "I think we should go somewhere else to keep talking. Do you want to do that?"
Finally, she spoke.
"They're gone."
A deep breath.
"They died. Lucille was killed by Sofia Kowalski. I shot Eric because he tried to shoot us. I..." A deep breath. "I didn't want you to have to see his body so I shoved it into the ocean."
Kaya closed her eyes. She took another deep breath. The gun, still pointing down, shook in her hands. "Those bodies behind us are dead people. I think one of them was killed by Eric, too. Gus. Uhm..." She looked over her shoulder. "I think we should go somewhere else to keep talking. Do you want to do that?"
-
Pippi
- Posts: 1121
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:32 pm
- Location: I'm Pip!
- Team Affiliation: Stephanie's Buccaneers
Bethan moved like a bullet from a rifle, and suddenly, all at once, she was directly in front of Kaya, grabbing hold of the girl’s coat tight enough to rip it, her wild, tear-flooded eyes staring into her partner’s, hoping they would reveal something.
“You promised!”
The voice that wasn’t her own spat the words out like a drunken haymaker, a strangled cry that had been bottled up for days. Kaya’s suggestion went the way of Seo-yun’s words of comfort, vanished and hidden away, as Bethan’s heart continued to pour from her mouth.
“You promised me, you promised me that everyone would be okay, you told me everything would be fine and you said, you were, you sounded so confident and so right and, and what if you’d died, Kaya?! What if you’d been killed? I would have walked away thinking nothing was goddamn wrong while you, while you died behind me, or i’d have finally twigged and I’d have, you’d, I’d…”
Alone. She would have been all alone. Alone and completely unprepared to deal with what remained ahead of her. She would have had no clue how to load or properly fire the gun Kaya had given her, no semblance of idea of her state of supplies because she’d just been rolling through them like they weren’t designed to keep her alive, no real clue of who and where were threats because she’d only been half-paying attention to the announcements.
Alone. It was what she had feared being for so long, but what she needed right now, immediately. She couldn’t handle this, she couldn’t process this around Kaya. The thought of them walking off together, the two Buccaneers, the same delusional act that they, she, had been putting herself through once more, it made her feel sick to the gills, made her feel despicable, disgusting.
“I need, I can’t, I need- I need to be by myself, for a bit, not forever, I just, I’m sorry-”
She had let go of Kaya now, already backpedaling to her belongings, scooping up her bag and her spear even as she spoke.
“Please don’t follow me,” she pleaded, gaze locking with Kaya’s once more, looking for all the world as though her bag would cause her to collapse underneath it once she took a step forwards. “But please don’t abandon me.”
She turned. There was an outstretched arm lying on the deck in front of her, the lifeless body it was attached to hidden behind a deck chair. There was blood at her feet, grabbing at the heels of her boots. She looked back, face half hidden behind her bright pink braids.
“I’ll find you again, I, I will.”
She ran.
((Bethan Gayle continued in Don't Talk))
“You promised!”
The voice that wasn’t her own spat the words out like a drunken haymaker, a strangled cry that had been bottled up for days. Kaya’s suggestion went the way of Seo-yun’s words of comfort, vanished and hidden away, as Bethan’s heart continued to pour from her mouth.
“You promised me, you promised me that everyone would be okay, you told me everything would be fine and you said, you were, you sounded so confident and so right and, and what if you’d died, Kaya?! What if you’d been killed? I would have walked away thinking nothing was goddamn wrong while you, while you died behind me, or i’d have finally twigged and I’d have, you’d, I’d…”
Alone. She would have been all alone. Alone and completely unprepared to deal with what remained ahead of her. She would have had no clue how to load or properly fire the gun Kaya had given her, no semblance of idea of her state of supplies because she’d just been rolling through them like they weren’t designed to keep her alive, no real clue of who and where were threats because she’d only been half-paying attention to the announcements.
Alone. It was what she had feared being for so long, but what she needed right now, immediately. She couldn’t handle this, she couldn’t process this around Kaya. The thought of them walking off together, the two Buccaneers, the same delusional act that they, she, had been putting herself through once more, it made her feel sick to the gills, made her feel despicable, disgusting.
“I need, I can’t, I need- I need to be by myself, for a bit, not forever, I just, I’m sorry-”
She had let go of Kaya now, already backpedaling to her belongings, scooping up her bag and her spear even as she spoke.
“Please don’t follow me,” she pleaded, gaze locking with Kaya’s once more, looking for all the world as though her bag would cause her to collapse underneath it once she took a step forwards. “But please don’t abandon me.”
She turned. There was an outstretched arm lying on the deck in front of her, the lifeless body it was attached to hidden behind a deck chair. There was blood at her feet, grabbing at the heels of her boots. She looked back, face half hidden behind her bright pink braids.
“I’ll find you again, I, I will.”
She ran.
((Bethan Gayle continued in Don't Talk))
Kaya didn't move.
The pocket of her coat caught in Bethan's hand and tore off, the fabric falling to the deck below them. Her mouth slightly open, she stared, wide-eyed, frozen in place as Bethan yelled and stammered out at her. The other girl ran off away from her. She held out a hand, but didn't say anything, and Bethan didn't stop.
Kaya didn't move. She watched her go. She looked around the deck, expression blank, shell-shocked. Finally, she slowly wandered over to a clean spot at the far end of the deck, with a good view of the two entrances. She walked over to the camera nestled in the rafters of the overhang.
"I'm sorry," she said aloud to the audience. "I didn't...I couldn't..." She stared silently at the camera. Then at the wall in front of her.
There was a quiet thump as she punched the wood, leaving no mark but a slight bruise on her knuckles.
"Fuck!" She punched the wall again. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-"
She screamed. She punched the wall one more time. She slumped down to her knees with a sob.
((Kaya Robinson continued in No More Heroes))
The pocket of her coat caught in Bethan's hand and tore off, the fabric falling to the deck below them. Her mouth slightly open, she stared, wide-eyed, frozen in place as Bethan yelled and stammered out at her. The other girl ran off away from her. She held out a hand, but didn't say anything, and Bethan didn't stop.
Kaya didn't move. She watched her go. She looked around the deck, expression blank, shell-shocked. Finally, she slowly wandered over to a clean spot at the far end of the deck, with a good view of the two entrances. She walked over to the camera nestled in the rafters of the overhang.
"I'm sorry," she said aloud to the audience. "I didn't...I couldn't..." She stared silently at the camera. Then at the wall in front of her.
There was a quiet thump as she punched the wood, leaving no mark but a slight bruise on her knuckles.
"Fuck!" She punched the wall again. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-"
She screamed. She punched the wall one more time. She slumped down to her knees with a sob.
((Kaya Robinson continued in No More Heroes))