Beat The Lunch Line

[The Bearded One*]

Brenda gave a soft titter of mirth at both of Alicia's jokes; the other girl didn't seem to get the first one, but smiled in appreciation of the second. Wow, she must be almost as isolated as I am if she doesn't know who I used to be. She made a face, scrunching up her nose and finally took that first bite of the sludgy, brown entree. It was almost as bad as she had feared, but at least it had some meat in it.

Alicia glanced at Brenda while her mouth was full. Did Brenda's laugh have a nervous edge to it? Why would that be? Did I accidentally bring up a subject that's sensitive for her? Surely not the lousy food. My history, then? Or making friends in general? Not my business; not my business.

Brenda looked across the table to the other girl. "So! This is an interesting group, isn't it?" The other girl was remaining silent, but hadn't gone back to reading her book, so that was a good sign. "So Ali, Karen and I were talking about sports a little while ago." Ah, the other girl's name was Karen. "Maybe you should join one! It's a great way to meet people! I know a good kickboxing instructor, and Karen's on the soccer team, if you want some help. I mean, assuming you like those sports. There's tons of other ones too- Volleyball, Basketball, Tennis. Or there's drama!" They'd been talking about sports? When she'd approached, it looked more like they were talking about the other girl's - Karen's - book. From what Alicia could see of the cover, it didn't look like a sports book. Were they really talking about sports?

"I mean...you can find a new group real easy, if you wanted to," Brenda finished, and applied a big, fake smile on the end. That's what this is about. She's uncomfortable with an ex-gang member hanging around her. She's polite enough not to make a scene, but she's trying to push you away and into some other social group so she doesn't have to deal with you. Well, fuck.

Or as the heresies that men do leave
Are hated most of those they did deceive.

Alicia put the smile back on her face, though it was harder to do this time. "I'm not really a sports type girl. Too short for basketball, you see. But drama? Maybe. We'll see." She went back to shoving forkfuls of what passed for food into her mouth so she wouldn't have to smile so much. She found herself blinking a bit more than was normal in hopes of preventing tears from coming to her eyes.

[MurderWeasel]

Karen didn't bother to respond to the comment about their group being interesting. It wasn't. It was weird. Very rarely could a group be accurately termed interesting. Most people simply used the phrase to refer to something out of the ordinary. This irritated Karen.

Brenda kept going on, chatting with Ali. She turned the conversation back to Karen, though. Specifically, she turned it to Karen's soccer. She offered Karen's assistance, should Ali want to learn. No. No way. Absolutely not. Karen was no teacher. She was good at what she did, but that didn't mean she had the slightest clue as to the hows or whys. Moreover, she wasn't good in any sort of position of authority or prominence. Whenever the game came down to it, whenever all eyes were on her as she tried for that final, game-winning shot, well, she choked every single time.

Beyond that, she simply didn't have time to spend tutoring someone. She didn't get proper sleep as it was. She went to school, worked, helped take care of her siblings, and did homework. Her releases were watching late night television and reading. She'd go completely insane if she cut either of those things, and the rest were integral to either her future or her family's stability.

Beyond even that, she just didn't want to hang out with anyone on her free time.

At least Ali wasn't a sports sort. Good. Once again, she neatly let Karen off the hook. She was the sort of girl Karen actually might be able to get to like, given a lot of time.

Of course, the thing she almost liked about Ali was that she didn't really have to interact with the girl.

[Pippi]

(Pregame debut of Brennan O’Brian)

Well, darn. Why’d history have to be at the complete opposite side of the school?

Brennan O’Brian stood in the middle of the lunch hall, surrounded by a sea of students, all the while clutching his lunch, which was looking more and more unappetizing by the second. There was absolutely nowhere to sit. His friends had either crowded together on one table, or gone somewhere else to eat. Turning his head to look for somewhere, anywhere to sit, Brennan silently cursed the school’s layout.

C’mon, there’s gotta be somewhere. That table over there? No, wait, full up. How about... A-ha! Perfect!

Brennan had finally spotted a table. It was right in the corner, and it was basically invisible, but it was a table, and that was all that mattered. As Brennan shuffled past the rows of students, he began to recognize some of the people at the table. One of them was Brenda Hernandez. He and Brenda both got on pretty well, mostly due to their similar friendly outlook. Another was a girl who Brennan recognized, but just couldn’t put a name to. Something White, wasn’t it? Amelia? Alyssa? Eh, hopefully he’d find out soon enough. The third girl Brennan had seen around school, but apart from that, he had no idea about her. She didn’t seem particularly interested in the other two.

A sudden thought struck him. What if they’re reserving that seat for someone else? That’d be just my luck, wouldn’t it?

Trying to catch their attention, Brennan let out a short “Hey!”, and gave a wave in Brenda’s direction, making sure to keep a steady hand on his tray.

[Casey The Undead*]

Ali wasn't into sports, which Brenda figured was perfectly reasonable, and she didn't seem too psyched about drama either. Which meant that Brenda was now the sole friend this girl seemed to have. Also, Brenda was now out of things to talk about.

It didn't help that Karen was completely silent, which left Brenda in a state of awkward suspended animation. She nodded, laughing again for no real reason, searching for a conversation topic.

Luckily, she was interrupted by one Brennan O'Brian. Brenda waved back at him, grinning. "Hey Brennan! Over here!"

Brenda always did like Brennan. He was a nice kid, and a lot like her in that respect. Besides, he had more energy that any one else, which meant that at least there'd still be talking going on.

"Brennan! How are you?" Brenda grinned, glad that she had a real friend at the table now. "Oh! I don't know if you know Ali and Karen, but you do now!" She laughed again, throwing her head back slightly.

"So, what's going on?"

[The Bearded One*]

The other girl - Karen, I need to remember that - remained silent, seemingly happy to be able to stay out of the path of conversation.  Alicia glanced at her, wondering if she could see the emotions that were being stirred up in the other girls at the table.  I doubt it.

Brenda let the silence hang in the air a moment as well.  Alicia couldn't tell if she could tell how her words had stung, but Brenda had no follow-up comments or questions.  Alicia was glad for the silence.  It meant that she had a bit more time to get her emotions under control.  She was pleased that the tears which had threatened to appear did not do so.  She gave up on the Franks-&-beans, switching to the limp broccoli.  It had almost no taste at all, though at least it was a recognizable shade of green.

Suddenly, Brenda waved at someone behind Alicia.  The movement startled her a bit, and she turned her head to see who Brenda could be smiling at so broadly.  It was that boy, Brennan O'Brian.  He was short, only a couple of inches taller than Alicia, and thin.  Non-threatening white boy, she thought.

As Brennan sat down at the last seat at the table, Alicia tried to remember what she knew about this boy.  He really like history, and he was in the school drama club as an actor.  He's one of the good guys.  I need to get to know him better.

Alicia swallowed the tasteless broccoli as Brenda introduced Ali and Karen, and then gave a small wave of her own from across the table.  "Hi, there," she said trying to catch his eye.

[MurderWeasel]

Karen was going to just sit and let lunch follow its natural progression, but it seemed that was not meant to be. Another new person showed up, another face Karen couldn't match a name to. Ali knew the guy, though. Brennan. One of her friends. She introduced him to Karen and Brenda. Karen nodded. She was trying not to be awkward, but... well, one other person was weird. Two were a group. Three meant the table was officially open for anyone and everyone to come over, and Karen did not relish the thought of being in the middle of a group of giggling, squealing students.

It was time for a strategic withdrawal. She wasn't eating. She wasn't going to accept food. There was no reason whatsoever to remain in the lunchroom. She could go walk circles in the halls or something, maybe find some corner and just sit there. There was no reason to linger with these people, tolerable or not.

She couldn't just walk off, though. She needed an excuse.

Luckily, school provided plenty of those.

Karen grabbed her book, picked up her pack, and stood up, then said, "I forgot to grab the math homework. I'm going to run and do that."

And then, because it would be pretty rude to walk out without a goodbye, she added, "Have a nice day."

And she headed out of the lunchroom, to find quiet again.

((Karen Ruiz continued in A Walk to Fear))

[Pippi]

Brennan broke into a grin as Brenda waved back at him. Thank god, he thought, as he took the last remaining chair. Brenda started talking immediately, asking him how he was. “I’m pretty good thanks. I was feeling kinda anxious about getting a seat before meeting you guys, though.” Brennan was glad to see Brenda was still her friendly, sociable self. There were far too many loners or wannabe gangsters that wanted nothing to do with him, even with his optimistic personality, so a friendly face was always welcome. Hopefully Crazy Hair and Quiet Girl are just as friendly.

As he gave his answer, Brennan started eating his, by now, frankly revolting lunch. What even is this? he thought, inspecting a limp greenish object on his fork. Broccoli? Cabbage?

“Oh! I don’t know if you know Ali and Karen, but you do now!” Brenda started laughing, which caused Brennan to let out a small chuckle of his own. Well, I was close with Ali’s name. Hopefully they’ll be easy to talk to. Brennan was about to say hi to both of them, when Quiet Gir-Karen-got up and said something about forgetting her math homework. Brennan swallowed his mouthful of green vegetable in time to give a quick “Bye”, before she was gone. Oh. Well, at least Brenda’s still here, and hopefully Ali’s nice as well, he thought.

Brennan turned back towards the other two, as Brenda asked him what was going on. Just as he was about to answer, he caught sight of Ali waving at him from across the table. Turning his head to face her, Brennan smiled and said “Hey there, Ali!” Turning to face Brenda again, he ate a little bit more food, before answering her question. “Oh, you know, the usual. School and all. Wish we had a better History teacher though. We must have done the same topic each year, I’m sure, and he’s so dull! Aside from that, I’m starving, if you couldn’t tell.” As if to prove his point, Brennan cut off a large slab of some sort of meat before eating it. “So, how are you two then?”

[Casey The Undead*]

Brenda frowned as Karen got up to leave, sad that the girl was departing already. "Okay, good luck!" Brenda was glad that she had a chance to talk to her before, however, and decided to turn her attention back to Brennan and Ali.

She laughed lightly at Brennan's response. "That's what you get for being late to lunch, I guess."

"And hey, I don't mind Mr. French! He's not that bad, just a tad...uh...dry!" Brenda paused for a moment. "Okay, he's boring." She burst into laughter, shaking her head.

"I'm pretty good. School's fine, home's...fine. Except for that English paper I still have to write." She shook her head, laughing again."But yeah, everything's okay on my end!"

She smiled, turning to Ali and waiting for the girl's response. There was still something off about Ali's behavior- Brenda wondered if she'd somehow upset the girl.

She shook her head. Maybe Ali was just having a bad day.

[The Bearded One*]

Karen made an excuse about homework and left the table. She clearly was not comfortable around crowds or conversation. Ali felt a small kinship with her in feeling uncomfortable at this table just now. But Ali felt she had to stay, to form connections with real humans and tie herself to the normal world rather than the violent and turbulent world of the Fivers.

Brennan smiled at them both and made idle conversation in the form of complaining about Mr. French, his history teacher. Ali didn't have Mr. French for history, but was instead in Mrs. Crowe's class. That was a safe topic to talk about. The boy was all smiles and even a little bit flirtatious. Ali made a quick assessment of the boy. Brennan is pretty short, and he's basically twig-thin. He's not really a looker, though he does have those deep green eyes... I could fall into those easily enough. And he's white. Is that a problem? It sure was last year, but I'm not that person any more. I've found my wings, and by god, I'm going to learn to fly. If this white boy wants to get to know me in a more intimate way, I'll be open to that.

Brenda answered with her own feelings about Mr. French, and an English paper that she was working on. Then she looked at Ali as if to say 'now it's your turn'. There may have been more to Brenda's look, too. Like the other girl was trying to look into her soul and figure out what she was thinking and feeling. I have a fairy's soul now dear, she thought, I may not be as easy to read as the open books that humans are.

All right, so now it's my turn to add to the conversation. Ali took another spoonful of the apple sauce; it was bland, but inoffensive. I could say something about my experiences with Mrs. Crowe, but that would only be ignoring what's important in my life right now. "It's... actually really hard," she said slowly, picking her words with care, "reinventing your life. I have stopped pretending to be... the human that I was last year." She shifted her gaze from Brenda to Brennan. "I need to find a new way... to live my life... in full color, all the time."

Her throat tightened enough to cut off her words. There had been too much truth in them. She realized that she hadn't been smiling, and that her mouth wouldn't form a smile even after she finished speaking.

[Pippi]

Everything was going along just fine, despite Karen’s sudden departure. Brenda seemed more than willing to make up for her loss anyway, although something seemed slightly odd about Ali. Her smile seemed a little too forced to Brennan. Maybe she’s just shy. Or maybe she normally looks like that. Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, Brennan broke into a grin as Brenda admitted how boring Mr. French was, and how she still needed to finish their English paper.

“Looks like someone’s failing English” Brennan said in a sing-song tone. “Seriously though, it’s pretty easy. You’ll do fine.”

As Brennan finished off the last of his still unrecognizable meat, Brenda seemed to be inviting Ali to join in the conversation. "Now to see what she’s really like" Brennan thought, as Ali finished a spoonful of apple sauce.

And then things got awkward.

The smile, forced or otherwise, disappeared from Ali’s face. Instead of talking about schoolwork, or other such things, she was talking about... reinventing her life? Ali’s gaze shifted from Brenda to him, and Brennan desperately tried to remember something about this girl. Dammit, nothing. Apart from passing her in the corridors, she was completely new to Brennan. Now I wish I’d met her sooner. Then I could say something comforting, maybe, instead of staring like a gormless idiot.

Making sure that he didn’t say anything stupid, Brennan spoke to Ali, softer than he had been with Brenda. “Look, uh, Ali. I’m, uh, sorry if it’s a painful memory, or you’d rather not talk about it, but, um... what happened? To make you want to... reinvent your life?”

[Casey The Undead*]

Brenda hid her giggles. "I'm not failing! I'm just....not exactly passing, is all." She shook her head, still laughing.

She was glad that Brennan had come. It took a lot of the brunt of the conversation off of Brenda. Which was incredibly useful when Brenda had no idea what to say- like now, for instance.

Brenda tried her best not to stare blankly at Ali, and kept her smile as genuine as possible- but there were just no words to say. For one, it seemed an awful lot like Ali no longer thought she was human. Brenda chalked this up to mishearing. Ali was a human, and there was just no possible way for her to believe otherwise, right?

Added to that was the fact that Brenda really had no clue what Ali was trying to say by "living her life in color." Brenda felt so lost, so she just stood there, looking at Ali and smiling as best she could.

She nearly hugged Brennan in relief when he spoke first. He could handle it. All she had to do was sit back and listen.

She relaxed her shoulders a little, deciding to chime in with some words of encouragement. "Yeah. We're here for you Ali." She smiled, more convincingly this time, and waited to hear the whole story.

[The Bearded One*]

After she spoke, Ali looked at the faces of her table mates. All the mirthful joking and pleasant smiles evaporated like the morning dew after a midsummer night. Brennan seemed to take the turn for the serious in stride, lowering his voice and speaking almost apologetically. Then he asked the most obvious question: "What happened? To make you want to... reinvent your life?”

Ali swallowed and turned to look at Brenda. The girl was shocked, but recovered quickly once Brennan spoke. The smile returned to her lips and she offered a few words of support. I'm so freaking her out. She probably thinks I'm a psycho, and she's probably hoping she never has to talk to me again. Well, Brennan asked me, and I'm through lying to myself or others.

So I won't lie, but how much truth should I reveal. I've never actually explained to anyone what happened; I've been afraid that they'd lock me up in an institution or something. But these are just a pair of juniors like me. I need to be able to tell someone or I will go crazy. What's the worst that could happen? I suppose they could run away screaming about the nutbar girl in the lunch room and try to get me kicked out of school. Her face and stomach tightened at this fearful thought. But it's much more likely that they'll just wait 'til I'm out of earshot, tell all their friends, and laugh about me behind my back.

No night is now with hymn or carol blest:
Therefore the moon, the governess of floods,
Pale in her anger, washes all the air,
That rheumatic diseases do abound.

Well, here goes nothing....

Ali blinked slowly, and turned the bulk of her attention toward Brennan. "I - Over the summer, I had... an experience. It was far more than just a vision, it was...." Her eyes lost their focus, no longer looking at Brennan, but at something in her mind's eye. "I felt a pair of fairy wings on my back, just at the shoulder blades. I could feel them flap, and I knew that they were real... they were part of me, the real me. Sometimes, I can still feel them.

"I used to be a member of the Fivers," she blinked and focused on Brennan again, "the street gang that runs drugs a couple of block east of here. When I had my experience - or revelation or whatever you want to call it - I realized that I couldn't stay in the limited, black-and-white world of the gangs. I didn't know how to express it then, but I found.... Hold on a second."

She took her eyes off her table mates and reached down to dig into her book bag. A few seconds later, she began flipping through a thin book which had the markings of the school library on its spine. After another moment she found the page she was searching for.

"But we are spirits of another sort:
I with the morning's love have oft made sport,
And, like a forester, the groves may tread,
Even till the eastern gate, all fiery-red,
Opening on Neptune with fair blessed beams,
Turns into yellow gold his salt green streams"

She lowered the book, and the soft smile had reappeared on her face. "That's from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' by William Shakespeare. His play portrays the fairies living a fuller, more stable life than the humans around them. That's what I want: Not necessarily to be a fairy, but to be like them." She set the book down gently on the table, resting her hand on its cover protectively. The smile on her face faded, but did not disappear completely as she waited for their reactions to her admittedly odd tale.

[Pippi]

A couple of seconds passed before Ali spoke again. Brennan tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever had happened to Ali last year.

Nothing, however, could have prepared him for Ali’s comment.

So, Ali thought she was a fairy? Or something like that? Brennan had no idea how to feel. Should he laugh? Be shocked? What if she was just messing with him and Brenda, and was going to jump up and laugh at them for being so naive, before running back to her real friends?

These doubts were quickly extinguished after Ali’s next comment.

“I used to be a member of the Fivers, the street gang that runs drugs a couple of blocks east of here.” Brennan mentally slapped himself for thinking Ali was going to make all this up. Seriously, if I’d been part of a drug running street gang, I’d want to reinvent my life.

Ali was now reading from a book, one Brennan recognized. A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream. Brennan remembered playing Puck in some adaption of it, but that wasn’t important right now. Ali was still convinced fairies were real, or something. Really though, what does that matter? She’s not mean, she’s not... well, okay, maybe she’s a little crazy. Whatever, she’s just a little eccentric, and wants to reform her life. Nothing wrong with that.

The smile returned to Brennan’s face, as he spoke to Ali. “Well, I think I can agree with Brenda here: we’re here for you. What’s happened in the past is, well, in the past. You are who you are now, and we’re not gonna try and change that.”

[Casey The Undead*]

Brenda paused for a long time, completely blank on what to say. The information about Ali being a Fiver wasn't a shock at all to Brenda, but the fairy business was...interesting to say the least. Brenda nodded at the girls words, and at Brennan's response- quirking an eyebrow slightly at the two. It didn't go past Brenda that Ali was talking mostly to Brennan. Brenda actually thought it was rather cute, though she would have to grill Brennan later about it.

After Ali stopped talking, Brenda let Brennan have the first words. She was glad he agreed with her, but she figured that she had to say something too.

"Yeah. I mean, to each her own, right? It's good that you're coping with it, and I think it's great that you want to put more color into your life. I never was all that great with Shakespeare, but I really think that you have the right idea."

She smiled at Ali, very glad that the girl decided to sit with them today. "And this is a really good first step, I think! You just gotta reach out of your comfort zone, you know? It's like my mother always says: Al mal tiempo, buena cara. Be positive even in bad situations."

She smiled again, taking a bite of her food. She swallowed it quickly, regretting the bite at all. The cafeteria food was quite disgusting. "You know Ali, I admire you. You're pretty strong. I don't think I could have just walked away like you did." Brenda smiled again. This was turning out to be a pretty good lunch.

[The Bearded One*]

After Alicia finished speaking, a silence hovered over the table for a moment. It was not a nervous silence as before, but rather, a respectful one. Ali looked into the eyes of both Brenda and Brennan, and she could see that there were several emotions flashing through them. But they both resolved into sympathetic looks. I completely lucked out finding this table. These two seem to actually respect what I am now. Cool!

Brennan broke the table's silence first. His words told her that what is past is past, and "you are who you are now...." But more important than his words were his brilliant green eyes. He's looking right at me, meeting my eyes and smiling. I think he's flirting with me. Oh, God I hope that's what it is. I've never had anyone actually flirt with me before.

Brenda's words followed quickly after Brennan's. Her words were also very positive, but there seemed to be more going on in Brenda's mind than her words conveyed. She seems kind of supportive, but is there something else also? She was a little stand-offish only a minute ago. Could she have changed her mind? Probably she's just not sure about me yet, not ready to trust me. I can understand that. But I'd like her to; she'd make a great friend if I could convince her that I really am a new person... and not insane.

Ali looked back an forth between the two of them. They were both smiling again, and their smiles seemed genuine. They were leaning forward, elbows on the table; they were interested if nothing else.

Ali felt the tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm... really glad that I found this table today." She half-laughed and a single tear crawled down her right cheek. She sniffled and wiped the teardrop away, smiling with chagrin. "Sorry I brought the mood down so much, I just... I haven't been able to tell that stuff to anyone before." Another tear started down her left cheek. Ali didn't seem to notice it.