His heart pulsated away as he sat there. Her hand having found it's way to his face, tracing the bandage alongside his cheek. At first he thought it would hurt, but there was nothing outside of a twitch as she made contact. Just the warmth of her touch through it.
He kept his smile towards her, even as he felt more and more tense. "Y-you mean a lot to me, too." Derrick said as he felt her hand squeeze his.
Derrick had no idea what to do. The thought of something like this, sitting next to a girl holding hands and, well, leaning on each other. It had never crossed his mind.
He was busy with other things like that dream he would never reach and helping his family that he would never see again...
...It was hard to keep those thoughts away, even for a second. When he wasn't dreaming of horrors, he was dreaming of them. Of closed doors that he was unable to open and cries coming from inside.
But as those thoughts invaded and memories of those hopes and dreams would clash, Fiora would say something to him and those thoughts were repelled away.
He meant something to her. Now what he meant to her, he did not know. He just knew that he meant something to someone, and that maybe, that was enough.
She told him once, let's be happy instead. Looking at her this closely, he saw a reason to believe that was possible. He turned a bit towards her and reached his unoccupied hand up to her cheek. "You mean a lot to me too." He said; leaning a bit forward as he did so.
Vive Hodie
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Pippi
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She followed his lead, and smiled, and leaned in, and kissed him then.
And it was clumsy and it was small and it was soft, her lips bumping and brushing against his, acting with nothing but what she’d seen on television or read in books to guide her. Her hand squeezed his, and her fingers gently caressed his cheek, and the voice in the back of her head desperately hoped and prayed that she was doing this correctly, that she wasn’t messing up in some way.
But she smiled as she kissed him, and her heart fluttered, and the rest of her mind could only think of this moment she was living in. They were just two lost souls, who had found each other by chance, floating together in a tiny room in a nondescript building on a small island in a cold grey sea. Their hands, their lips, their bodies, they were illuminated by nothing but the small amber glow of a tiny desk light. And in that dim, soft glow, she had found something, something so incredibly important, something that meant the world to her. And when everything else was lost or in complete disarray, she was going to grab hold of it with both hands and never let go.
Nanna-Fiora broke away softly, reluctant to do so at first, but the sight of Derrick’s eyes meeting hers as they opened again, the softness and warmth within them, washed away that reluctance in a heartbeat. She kept her face close to his, and she let out another low, quiet laugh, smiling as she did so.
“Whatever would General Adams think,” she murmured. “Seeing you kissing a black girl?"
And it was clumsy and it was small and it was soft, her lips bumping and brushing against his, acting with nothing but what she’d seen on television or read in books to guide her. Her hand squeezed his, and her fingers gently caressed his cheek, and the voice in the back of her head desperately hoped and prayed that she was doing this correctly, that she wasn’t messing up in some way.
But she smiled as she kissed him, and her heart fluttered, and the rest of her mind could only think of this moment she was living in. They were just two lost souls, who had found each other by chance, floating together in a tiny room in a nondescript building on a small island in a cold grey sea. Their hands, their lips, their bodies, they were illuminated by nothing but the small amber glow of a tiny desk light. And in that dim, soft glow, she had found something, something so incredibly important, something that meant the world to her. And when everything else was lost or in complete disarray, she was going to grab hold of it with both hands and never let go.
Nanna-Fiora broke away softly, reluctant to do so at first, but the sight of Derrick’s eyes meeting hers as they opened again, the softness and warmth within them, washed away that reluctance in a heartbeat. She kept her face close to his, and she let out another low, quiet laugh, smiling as she did so.
“Whatever would General Adams think,” she murmured. “Seeing you kissing a black girl?"
When Derrick left his room to get "water", he was expecting, well, that and a small walk. Away from people and their prying questions. He did not expect to sit next to her again; to hold her again and to feel her leaning on him for comfort.
Everything was like it was back then, but maybe it was something more. It was safer, secure. There was still a chance of someone walking in on them, but less of them being taken out for it. It would just be mildly embarrassing than life threatening.
They didn't have an open sky above them to look at this time, no stars or constellations for Fiora to point to him. It was just them and the light on the desk illuminating them.
Lucky for him he had something better to look at.
Was that why he leant in? Her eyes or the smile? Whatever it was, he took it further at that moment, even if it was just a peck.
The worry from earlier was still there, in the far corner of his mind telling him not to do this, that he was overstepping his bounds with her. But Fiora had made that worry shrink to such a level, Derrick felt comfortable and confident enough to do so.
And then she responded in kind and their mouths were pressed together as he felt her hand on his cheek, and while there were some pain in that moment Derrick ignored it as he tried to remember what to do, but his memory ran empty as doubt clouded his mind.
His eyes were closed and he couldn’t tell if he was doing it right, if there was more he was supposed to do, if his breath didn’t stink that day or if Fiora showed signs of her wound flaring. That last one in particular stuck in his mind and he wondered if he should back off.
But then she would press on and that thought would take the backseat.
He could feel her hand tighten in his, as her hand gently stroked his cheek as their lips brushed against each other. As they breathed the same air and embraced in that illuminated darkness.
In that embrace, Derrick had forgotten where they were. This building on foreign land filled with their classmates, nurses, doctors and soldiers, and yet all were gone from his mind. For all he cared they could have been on an island far away, just the two of them under the night sky and it would have been fine with him.
Everything since that day had been foreign to him. Fighting Stan in that church, meeting Fiora, learning about the stars and about her, wandering the road with only a sword and her for company. It had all been exhausting.
Sitting with her in this place far away from almost everyone they had know their whole lives. She was like a rock to him, someone he could be there for and who could be there for him, who knew more about him than anyone else. Who knew the right thing to say to keep him from stressing himself out over his own thoughts and worries.
He meant something to her, and she meant something to him. That was all that mattered.
She broke away, and Derrick found himself trying to catch his breath. Hands still on each other as their eyes were locked within one another. Her face was still close and Derrick could hear her so clearly, the only sounds registering in his mind were from them.
The worry that she had shrunk was now squashed completely when he saw that smile again and she laughed the way only she did. Joking about the General, he chuckled at it.
"No-nothing good, I t-think," He answered softly, a flush of red on his face as his hand traced it's thumb along her cheek. "His loss."
The thought of General Adams, furious with him for what he did in the scrapyard and even more so with what he was doing in that moment with her told Derrick everything he needed to know.
He was doing good.
Everything was like it was back then, but maybe it was something more. It was safer, secure. There was still a chance of someone walking in on them, but less of them being taken out for it. It would just be mildly embarrassing than life threatening.
They didn't have an open sky above them to look at this time, no stars or constellations for Fiora to point to him. It was just them and the light on the desk illuminating them.
Lucky for him he had something better to look at.
Was that why he leant in? Her eyes or the smile? Whatever it was, he took it further at that moment, even if it was just a peck.
The worry from earlier was still there, in the far corner of his mind telling him not to do this, that he was overstepping his bounds with her. But Fiora had made that worry shrink to such a level, Derrick felt comfortable and confident enough to do so.
And then she responded in kind and their mouths were pressed together as he felt her hand on his cheek, and while there were some pain in that moment Derrick ignored it as he tried to remember what to do, but his memory ran empty as doubt clouded his mind.
His eyes were closed and he couldn’t tell if he was doing it right, if there was more he was supposed to do, if his breath didn’t stink that day or if Fiora showed signs of her wound flaring. That last one in particular stuck in his mind and he wondered if he should back off.
But then she would press on and that thought would take the backseat.
He could feel her hand tighten in his, as her hand gently stroked his cheek as their lips brushed against each other. As they breathed the same air and embraced in that illuminated darkness.
In that embrace, Derrick had forgotten where they were. This building on foreign land filled with their classmates, nurses, doctors and soldiers, and yet all were gone from his mind. For all he cared they could have been on an island far away, just the two of them under the night sky and it would have been fine with him.
Everything since that day had been foreign to him. Fighting Stan in that church, meeting Fiora, learning about the stars and about her, wandering the road with only a sword and her for company. It had all been exhausting.
Sitting with her in this place far away from almost everyone they had know their whole lives. She was like a rock to him, someone he could be there for and who could be there for him, who knew more about him than anyone else. Who knew the right thing to say to keep him from stressing himself out over his own thoughts and worries.
He meant something to her, and she meant something to him. That was all that mattered.
She broke away, and Derrick found himself trying to catch his breath. Hands still on each other as their eyes were locked within one another. Her face was still close and Derrick could hear her so clearly, the only sounds registering in his mind were from them.
The worry that she had shrunk was now squashed completely when he saw that smile again and she laughed the way only she did. Joking about the General, he chuckled at it.
"No-nothing good, I t-think," He answered softly, a flush of red on his face as his hand traced it's thumb along her cheek. "His loss."
The thought of General Adams, furious with him for what he did in the scrapyard and even more so with what he was doing in that moment with her told Derrick everything he needed to know.
He was doing good.
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Pippi
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Nanna-Fiora smiled and laughed again, because she saw how Derrick’s eyes lit up whenever she did so. She leaned into his palm as his thumb traced her cheek, gently kissing the side of his hand. She had been almost entirely certain that her hunch had been correct, that Derrick felt the same way that she did. His actions, his words - when he was able to actually splutter them out - everything suggested that she held a special place in his heart, the same that he did in hers.
God, but it was still such a perfect relief to have that actually confirmed like this.
“When do you think the last time he kissed anybody was?”
She spoke in the same low, hushed murmur as before, fitting of the soft light they shared. Her voice, conditioned to sound rough and harsh in her mind by those she had been forced to spend years surrounded by, suddenly sounded good when Derrick was the one listening to it.
“My money’s on years. I bet that fetid asshole’s closest company is a bottle of Jack and his own right hand.”
Her smile remained on her face, but became a little smaller, a little softer. She shuffled closer to him, leaning into him, gently closing her eyes.
“God, it feels good to actually say this sort of thing out loud.”
She had wanted rebellion for years, to do something against the daily racism and hatred she was forced to experience, from television and radio and her classmates and her own goddamn teachers. She’d never been able to grab hold of it, though, never been able to find the ability or the power or the ability or even the foothold to start the smallest of small resistances; she’d had her goddamn shoes stolen the day before Announcement Day, for God’s sake, how was she supposed to find even the smallest bit of kindling to stoke the tiniest fires of righteous rebellion?
Well. Maybe she’d found it right here. Maybe living when your country wanted it dead, maybe loving and being loved when you should have been in a body bag weeks ago, maybe mattering to someone… maybe that was a start.
She sat there with Derrick, in his warmth and care, hand on her cheek, soft shadows cast on the walls, their little private rebellion.
“I know I said you didn’t need to stay long, but, um…” Nanna-Fiora murmured, eyes still gently closed. “You can stay here for as long as you want. If you like.”
God, but it was still such a perfect relief to have that actually confirmed like this.
“When do you think the last time he kissed anybody was?”
She spoke in the same low, hushed murmur as before, fitting of the soft light they shared. Her voice, conditioned to sound rough and harsh in her mind by those she had been forced to spend years surrounded by, suddenly sounded good when Derrick was the one listening to it.
“My money’s on years. I bet that fetid asshole’s closest company is a bottle of Jack and his own right hand.”
Her smile remained on her face, but became a little smaller, a little softer. She shuffled closer to him, leaning into him, gently closing her eyes.
“God, it feels good to actually say this sort of thing out loud.”
She had wanted rebellion for years, to do something against the daily racism and hatred she was forced to experience, from television and radio and her classmates and her own goddamn teachers. She’d never been able to grab hold of it, though, never been able to find the ability or the power or the ability or even the foothold to start the smallest of small resistances; she’d had her goddamn shoes stolen the day before Announcement Day, for God’s sake, how was she supposed to find even the smallest bit of kindling to stoke the tiniest fires of righteous rebellion?
Well. Maybe she’d found it right here. Maybe living when your country wanted it dead, maybe loving and being loved when you should have been in a body bag weeks ago, maybe mattering to someone… maybe that was a start.
She sat there with Derrick, in his warmth and care, hand on her cheek, soft shadows cast on the walls, their little private rebellion.
“I know I said you didn’t need to stay long, but, um…” Nanna-Fiora murmured, eyes still gently closed. “You can stay here for as long as you want. If you like.”
His chuckle became a laugh as Fiora continued, it was refreshing to hear such things said as crass as they were. Like a weight being lifted off their shoulders with the full realisation of how free they really were.
"No idea," He found himself saying, smile plastered on his face as flush as it was. Her eyes were closed and she was closer to him, he could see the relief on her face. "N-not the best me-mental image." He added.
They would have never gotten away with this back then, there were always tattletails nearby to report on anything to get ahead, always someone out to squash any sense of rebellion or sense of self.
Fiora could be herself here, without worry for people going after her. Maybe Derrick could too.
His eyes wandered to the door as different thoughts struck him. Would they look for him when they'd see he wasn't in his room? Search the compound just to find him here? It would probably make them real mad.
And yet, Derrick didn't move. He stayed where he was, close to as Fiora as he could be. His thumb idly tracing along her cheek as he leant in and gently put his forehead to hers.
"Th-then...don't mind if I do." His nerves calmed down as his breath turned deep and relaxed. He closed his eyes.
This is where he wanted to be.
"No idea," He found himself saying, smile plastered on his face as flush as it was. Her eyes were closed and she was closer to him, he could see the relief on her face. "N-not the best me-mental image." He added.
They would have never gotten away with this back then, there were always tattletails nearby to report on anything to get ahead, always someone out to squash any sense of rebellion or sense of self.
Fiora could be herself here, without worry for people going after her. Maybe Derrick could too.
His eyes wandered to the door as different thoughts struck him. Would they look for him when they'd see he wasn't in his room? Search the compound just to find him here? It would probably make them real mad.
And yet, Derrick didn't move. He stayed where he was, close to as Fiora as he could be. His thumb idly tracing along her cheek as he leant in and gently put his forehead to hers.
"Th-then...don't mind if I do." His nerves calmed down as his breath turned deep and relaxed. He closed his eyes.
This is where he wanted to be.