The sound of frantic clicking filled the air as Stokely piloted a digital Samara Bain up and down the confines of a bordered dirt track, swooping in to seize the last hits of one minion after another, eyes fixed on her opponent's position and activities. She couldn't tell you when she picked up the habit of the rapid click instead of just, ya know, clicking once and going there, but once the habit was formed, damn if it wasn't hard to break. A movement on the minimap caught her eye and she huffed in frustration, pulling further back up the lane.
"Jesus, buy a tent. Goddamn."
The opposing jungler, prolly cause they were in a lock, had swung topside real damn early and caught Stokes off guard for a cheap first blood, setting her lane opponent up real nice. They'd given Leah some buffs they'd called QOL recently but for folks as what knew what they were doing, she was the worst with a lead, which yeah, there you go. Stokes wasn't a dumbass though, so she'd played much safer, just as well since the Karol would not leave her the fuck alone and gonna be real, getting annoying as shit.
"Yeah so Karol's living here right now," she said into her mic. "Get the bear or something, or kill bot. It's nearly night you know he's gonna want my ass." As she spoke, she realised she was going to miss a minion, tried to tag it with Q, but it died, and she hit the one beside it instead, messing up that last hit too. "Ah fuggin--goddammit."
Summer Camp
((Alaska Ferguson continued from Champions 102))
"You got it," Alaska said calmly, sweeping her games camera up to quickly check on Stokes situation before returning to her digital representation of Trace as they moved through heavily forested paths. She stopped at a clearing to pick off a group of mecha monkeys, using the quick break to take a sip of water. "Just keep playing safe, try to take your time going back so it's turning to night. Make Karol waste his time."
After clearing them out she panned her camera down to bot lane to see how things were going for Laura and her lane partner. It seemed alright, but the more important detail was that her two lane opponents were pushing further and further up. That made them prime gank targets.
Plus, the bottom lane was the closest to the bear, so she could easily kill two birds with one stone. In fact, Alaska decided that was exactly what she was going to do. It didn't matter too much what the two enemy champions in bot lane did. Once she arrived their choice was fight or fall back. If they did enough damage to them, which was looking likely they'd have to return to their base anyway, which meant a free bear. If they killed them, it was also a free bear.
It was a win/win.
Plus her opponent, in this instance Karol had decided to try and feed his teams Leah, which fair enough, but he was also Karol and his job was to be a jumpscare across the map. The longer he spent camping out trying to get Stokes the more time she would have to run all over the map and fuck his day up.
"Get ready Laura 'cause we're about to have a party in your lane." She said with a grin as she clicked to send Trace down towards her best friend.
There was a pause.
"Oh right, then we're gonna get bear."
"You got it," Alaska said calmly, sweeping her games camera up to quickly check on Stokes situation before returning to her digital representation of Trace as they moved through heavily forested paths. She stopped at a clearing to pick off a group of mecha monkeys, using the quick break to take a sip of water. "Just keep playing safe, try to take your time going back so it's turning to night. Make Karol waste his time."
After clearing them out she panned her camera down to bot lane to see how things were going for Laura and her lane partner. It seemed alright, but the more important detail was that her two lane opponents were pushing further and further up. That made them prime gank targets.
Plus, the bottom lane was the closest to the bear, so she could easily kill two birds with one stone. In fact, Alaska decided that was exactly what she was going to do. It didn't matter too much what the two enemy champions in bot lane did. Once she arrived their choice was fight or fall back. If they did enough damage to them, which was looking likely they'd have to return to their base anyway, which meant a free bear. If they killed them, it was also a free bear.
It was a win/win.
Plus her opponent, in this instance Karol had decided to try and feed his teams Leah, which fair enough, but he was also Karol and his job was to be a jumpscare across the map. The longer he spent camping out trying to get Stokes the more time she would have to run all over the map and fuck his day up.
"Get ready Laura 'cause we're about to have a party in your lane." She said with a grin as she clicked to send Trace down towards her best friend.
There was a pause.
"Oh right, then we're gonna get bear."
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((Laura Hakštok continued from Floating to the Top))
“Dude, I’m always fuckin’ ready, I’m like a fucking eagle, or a hawk, or, something.”
Laura had, up until that moment, been foraging around under her desk in search of a pack of sour gummy worms. She’d knocked it off of her desk earlier, stashing her lighter away, and she’d developed a serious hankering for sour candy midway through the game, so, y’know, she knew where her priorities had to lie. It was cool; she was pretty certain she’d left her little digital Karen out of sight of the enemy botlane. Her support partner was probably bitching or whatever, but who gave a shit; she had gummy worms, and they probably didn’t, so they could eat her ass for all she cared.
With the loud sound of cracking knuckles and a plastic bag being ripped open echoing down the mic, Laura’s hands settled back onto their usual positions on the keyboard and mouse. A minor fucking miracle had happened; there was no whining in the chat, and Laura hadn’t been spotted by the apes she was laning against. Easy fucking peasy.
“Real question is whether this fuckin’ Technician’s gonna be ready,” Laura said, mouth full of gummy worm. “Dipshit hasn’t hit a single Q in lane yet and their camera placement’s been fuckin’ wack.”
Laura let out an indignant sigh as she moved back into lane, clearing out the first couple minions in the upcoming wave. This guy was lucky she was carrying their ass through the laning phase, but she knew from experience that a deadweight Techy quickly turned a game into a 6v4.
“Then again, what d’you expect from someone who plays Techy Classic?”
She spoke the words like they were poison in her mouth, clearing out the rest of the wave. God, Karen was so easy, which was exactly why Laura played her. There wasn’t much in the world more satisfying than somebody playing a mechanically heavy champ getting into a serious baby rage cause they were getting killed over and over again. “Karen is overpowered”, “Karen is such a no-skill champ”, “Go tryhard more, goldstuck bitch”, like, nah kiddos, if you don’t know your own mechanical ceiling and keep on picking champs way above your own skill level, then it’s your own fuckin’ fault you keep losing games.
Also Karen had been out for ages now, so like, if you didn’t know how to deal with her by now, fuckin’ oof dude, might as well delete your account and play one of those dating games where you got to see all the female winners’ tits.
Anyway. Back to the game at hand.
“Oh, dude, I’m recording this shit by the way, so like, don’t mess this gank up. Or do, and make it really fucking funny, your call.”
At least, she was pretty sure she was recording. She was, like, 75% sure she’d clicked on OBS before the game began.
Unless she’d clicked on Steam. In which case, hey, maybe the placebo effect would make this the best damn gank in the history of Champions.
“Dude, I’m always fuckin’ ready, I’m like a fucking eagle, or a hawk, or, something.”
Laura had, up until that moment, been foraging around under her desk in search of a pack of sour gummy worms. She’d knocked it off of her desk earlier, stashing her lighter away, and she’d developed a serious hankering for sour candy midway through the game, so, y’know, she knew where her priorities had to lie. It was cool; she was pretty certain she’d left her little digital Karen out of sight of the enemy botlane. Her support partner was probably bitching or whatever, but who gave a shit; she had gummy worms, and they probably didn’t, so they could eat her ass for all she cared.
With the loud sound of cracking knuckles and a plastic bag being ripped open echoing down the mic, Laura’s hands settled back onto their usual positions on the keyboard and mouse. A minor fucking miracle had happened; there was no whining in the chat, and Laura hadn’t been spotted by the apes she was laning against. Easy fucking peasy.
“Real question is whether this fuckin’ Technician’s gonna be ready,” Laura said, mouth full of gummy worm. “Dipshit hasn’t hit a single Q in lane yet and their camera placement’s been fuckin’ wack.”
Laura let out an indignant sigh as she moved back into lane, clearing out the first couple minions in the upcoming wave. This guy was lucky she was carrying their ass through the laning phase, but she knew from experience that a deadweight Techy quickly turned a game into a 6v4.
“Then again, what d’you expect from someone who plays Techy Classic?”
She spoke the words like they were poison in her mouth, clearing out the rest of the wave. God, Karen was so easy, which was exactly why Laura played her. There wasn’t much in the world more satisfying than somebody playing a mechanically heavy champ getting into a serious baby rage cause they were getting killed over and over again. “Karen is overpowered”, “Karen is such a no-skill champ”, “Go tryhard more, goldstuck bitch”, like, nah kiddos, if you don’t know your own mechanical ceiling and keep on picking champs way above your own skill level, then it’s your own fuckin’ fault you keep losing games.
Also Karen had been out for ages now, so like, if you didn’t know how to deal with her by now, fuckin’ oof dude, might as well delete your account and play one of those dating games where you got to see all the female winners’ tits.
Anyway. Back to the game at hand.
“Oh, dude, I’m recording this shit by the way, so like, don’t mess this gank up. Or do, and make it really fucking funny, your call.”
At least, she was pretty sure she was recording. She was, like, 75% sure she’d clicked on OBS before the game began.
Unless she’d clicked on Steam. In which case, hey, maybe the placebo effect would make this the best damn gank in the history of Champions.
Right, Alaska was some kinda pro, wasn't she? Stokes forgot that sometimes, because like being real she was always goofing off and not taking things real serious. Then again, when you were really good at something, you were allowed not to take it super serious, 'specially when you weren't on camera. When Alaska was switched on she played like a damn demon, which was just as well, cause queuing with her often got Stokes' ass matched up with folks who were out of her league. Things sort of evened out.
Didn't mean that Alaska didn't stream and goof around both, but that was the balance you had to strike. You could be the best in the world, if you had no personality, people weren't gonna be interested.
'Course, listening to Laura chew her way through a machine gun round of trash talk and BS, there was such a thing as too much personality. She could be a bit much, and on those few occasions her and Junji had both been in the same lobby--it'd been like a trainwreck in slow motion the whole way through. Way too much personality.
Karol was still hanging around and the Leah was pushing in aggressively, confident in her jungler's support. Stokes pulled even further back, basically in line with her tower, and frowned as her minions started getting mowed down by the turret's projectiles. She didn't even wanna think about how far behind she was in farm, and--her eyes went wide as she saw Leah start channelling, particles and sounds of a helicopter rotor appearing around her. She was using a utility, one that could drop her at any allied spot on the map. Stokes was way too far away to stop her, and she yelled into her mic, cutting across Laura.
"Chopper chopper chopper chopper!"
Didn't mean that Alaska didn't stream and goof around both, but that was the balance you had to strike. You could be the best in the world, if you had no personality, people weren't gonna be interested.
'Course, listening to Laura chew her way through a machine gun round of trash talk and BS, there was such a thing as too much personality. She could be a bit much, and on those few occasions her and Junji had both been in the same lobby--it'd been like a trainwreck in slow motion the whole way through. Way too much personality.
Karol was still hanging around and the Leah was pushing in aggressively, confident in her jungler's support. Stokes pulled even further back, basically in line with her tower, and frowned as her minions started getting mowed down by the turret's projectiles. She didn't even wanna think about how far behind she was in farm, and--her eyes went wide as she saw Leah start channelling, particles and sounds of a helicopter rotor appearing around her. She was using a utility, one that could drop her at any allied spot on the map. Stokes was way too far away to stop her, and she yelled into her mic, cutting across Laura.
"Chopper chopper chopper chopper!"
"Aw dude, I don't need that." Alaska drawled as she saw the effects for the helicopter start going off in the bot lane. She did a quick check of the Leah's health using the HUD compared to hers and both bot lanes. Doing some quick maths in her head. Goddamn, if it wasn't lucky that Champions required maths, something she was halfway decent at. A quick look over all the elements in play and she knew what the play was.
It was nearly automatic for her, which she supposed was impressive to some people. At least, people who watched her stream or Youtube videos thought it was impressive. She got why though, it was a lot to keep track of. You needed to know everything your character could do along with everything your allies and enemies could do and know what cooldowns were like to know when to go aggressive or pull back and take a more conservative approach. On top of that, you had items and buffs that could also be in play. But in the end that shit was all just numbers and as early in the game as they were it took a lot of variables off the table. Plus, if she was being totally honest, you only really needed to keep track of the abilities if you wanted to be passable.
"Laura, I'm gonna pretend to engage to pull Leah. Once she commits cooldowns trying to hit me go in."
Alaska grinned as her Trace moved out of the jungle and into the lane right as Leah appeared. She kept moving forward, coaxing the attack she knew was coming, waiting for the perfect moment to pull them back into the trap.
It was nearly automatic for her, which she supposed was impressive to some people. At least, people who watched her stream or Youtube videos thought it was impressive. She got why though, it was a lot to keep track of. You needed to know everything your character could do along with everything your allies and enemies could do and know what cooldowns were like to know when to go aggressive or pull back and take a more conservative approach. On top of that, you had items and buffs that could also be in play. But in the end that shit was all just numbers and as early in the game as they were it took a lot of variables off the table. Plus, if she was being totally honest, you only really needed to keep track of the abilities if you wanted to be passable.
"Laura, I'm gonna pretend to engage to pull Leah. Once she commits cooldowns trying to hit me go in."
Alaska grinned as her Trace moved out of the jungle and into the lane right as Leah appeared. She kept moving forward, coaxing the attack she knew was coming, waiting for the perfect moment to pull them back into the trap.
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Pippi
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“You got it, boss.”
No snarky comments from her right now - at least, none externally. She’d been playing this botlane near-fucking-perfect, she wasn’t about to let some dipshit Leah ruin that for her, and for that she needed total concentration, and a quick swig of Mountain Dew (Code Red, obviously, she wasn’t a fucking animal). She really wasn’t a fan of this Leah player cramping her style, but like, what did she expect? Stokes had given away a cheap first blood, that meant the enemy top laner got to whatever the fuck they wanted. Laura wasn’t gonna say it out loud, she’d already given Stokes some mild shit for dying so easy and early, but like, for someone who consumed pretty much all the goddamn SOTF media, she’d kinda expected her to be, y’know. Better at this game?
Although, in fairness, their Karol had set up shop in top lane and making his presence known whenever Stokes tried to do fucking anything. Either he was a duo with the Leah, or he was a pathetic simp for her e-girl ass, and Laura assumed it was the latter, because it was funnier.
“Actually, hold up, gotta clock this smooth brained Techy in real quick.”
Any normal human being would have rubbed at least two of their brain cells together and figured out that, hey, maybe I shouldn’t waste all of my most powerful abilities on this one target until after they’d used theirs, but from what this Technician had showcased in lane, Laura was pretty sure they needed help logging into their account. She quickly slapped the Enter key - damn, their Omegalul sticker needed replacing soon, it was getting real faded - and typed out a few quick sentences in between attack-moving.
MenGetPegged: yo techy
MenGetPegged: trace is gonna fake engage
MenGetPegged: wait til leah blows CDs before acskddked
MenGetPegged: fuckin
MenGetPegged: cmon dude
Laura made a loud, frustrated noise down the mic, moving her Karen into position to follow up on Alaska’s strategy.
“Yo, bitch, I’m all ready, but this dumbfuck Techy just used their E on their support, so don’t expect anything from ‘em.”
No snarky comments from her right now - at least, none externally. She’d been playing this botlane near-fucking-perfect, she wasn’t about to let some dipshit Leah ruin that for her, and for that she needed total concentration, and a quick swig of Mountain Dew (Code Red, obviously, she wasn’t a fucking animal). She really wasn’t a fan of this Leah player cramping her style, but like, what did she expect? Stokes had given away a cheap first blood, that meant the enemy top laner got to whatever the fuck they wanted. Laura wasn’t gonna say it out loud, she’d already given Stokes some mild shit for dying so easy and early, but like, for someone who consumed pretty much all the goddamn SOTF media, she’d kinda expected her to be, y’know. Better at this game?
Although, in fairness, their Karol had set up shop in top lane and making his presence known whenever Stokes tried to do fucking anything. Either he was a duo with the Leah, or he was a pathetic simp for her e-girl ass, and Laura assumed it was the latter, because it was funnier.
“Actually, hold up, gotta clock this smooth brained Techy in real quick.”
Any normal human being would have rubbed at least two of their brain cells together and figured out that, hey, maybe I shouldn’t waste all of my most powerful abilities on this one target until after they’d used theirs, but from what this Technician had showcased in lane, Laura was pretty sure they needed help logging into their account. She quickly slapped the Enter key - damn, their Omegalul sticker needed replacing soon, it was getting real faded - and typed out a few quick sentences in between attack-moving.
MenGetPegged: yo techy
MenGetPegged: trace is gonna fake engage
MenGetPegged: wait til leah blows CDs before acskddked
MenGetPegged: fuckin
MenGetPegged: cmon dude
Laura made a loud, frustrated noise down the mic, moving her Karen into position to follow up on Alaska’s strategy.
“Yo, bitch, I’m all ready, but this dumbfuck Techy just used their E on their support, so don’t expect anything from ‘em.”
Well Leah was gone.
Nothing that Stokes could do about that now. She'd brought her own chopper in her game loadout, but she'd had to use it early to get back into lane after dying; it was still on cooldown for another thirty or so and unless this play went really long, using it would be pointless.
She took the chance instead to push out from underneath her tower and start hoovering up the minions in front of it. Long way to come back from how bad she was down to the Leah, but this was a chance for some free farm. Karol wasn't level 6 and it wasn't night just yet so he wouldn't be able to kill her.
Stokes had half an eye on what was going on down in bot. Laura was talking smack, but eh, nothing new. This could really make or break the game, so. #bigplays.
She hoped this worked. Stokes dealt with enough trash talk.
Nothing that Stokes could do about that now. She'd brought her own chopper in her game loadout, but she'd had to use it early to get back into lane after dying; it was still on cooldown for another thirty or so and unless this play went really long, using it would be pointless.
She took the chance instead to push out from underneath her tower and start hoovering up the minions in front of it. Long way to come back from how bad she was down to the Leah, but this was a chance for some free farm. Karol wasn't level 6 and it wasn't night just yet so he wouldn't be able to kill her.
Stokes had half an eye on what was going on down in bot. Laura was talking smack, but eh, nothing new. This could really make or break the game, so. #bigplays.
She hoped this worked. Stokes dealt with enough trash talk.
And right on cue, everything started to go wrong. The Techy failed basic map awareness and blew their crowd control ability right before the Leah arrived. So that meant they were functionally useless for the fight. It was down to her and Laura to make something happen.
In good news, the enemy Leah had actually taken the bait and moved over to chase her off so they were out of position and it was still a three versus three engagement. Karol wasn't nearby and both of the mid laners were still in the lane, meaning that if either tried to roam they'd be giving up priority on the wave. That meant it was only going to be the three of them versus the three enemies so all they needed to do was execute...while lacking their primary method of winning the fight.
No biggie.
Alaska had positioned herself right on the border of what would have been considered an enticing target. She was begging for the engage from Leah. The way the lane was set they could easily chunk most of her health before her lane could get into range. It was a dangerous game to play, but she was sure she was better than her opponents.
After a brief dance, Alaska walked herself slightly closer and Leah bit. She dashed in, but as soon as she did Alaska had stepped to the side, putting the Leah between herself and Laura.
"Go now." Alaska said down the mic as she threw a snake at Leah to slow her and shred her armor. The enemy support in a rush to either try and save their teammate who had put themselves in a bad spot or getting too bold and thinking they could actually take her lunged forward.
Alaska saw what was about to happen and as soon as the animation began she smoke bombed over it. The end result was that she and the enemy support had effectively swapped places. The enemy support quickly realized their mistake but it was too late. Their attempt to stop her failed when their follow-up skill hit the minions Alaska had positioned herself behind.
It was just her one on one with the enemy ADC and Trace was sick at that stuff. Alaska ran through her skills and after a couple of follow-up autos, they had one kill.
"Easy shit Laura," Alaska said with a grin. "Easy shit."
In good news, the enemy Leah had actually taken the bait and moved over to chase her off so they were out of position and it was still a three versus three engagement. Karol wasn't nearby and both of the mid laners were still in the lane, meaning that if either tried to roam they'd be giving up priority on the wave. That meant it was only going to be the three of them versus the three enemies so all they needed to do was execute...while lacking their primary method of winning the fight.
No biggie.
Alaska had positioned herself right on the border of what would have been considered an enticing target. She was begging for the engage from Leah. The way the lane was set they could easily chunk most of her health before her lane could get into range. It was a dangerous game to play, but she was sure she was better than her opponents.
After a brief dance, Alaska walked herself slightly closer and Leah bit. She dashed in, but as soon as she did Alaska had stepped to the side, putting the Leah between herself and Laura.
"Go now." Alaska said down the mic as she threw a snake at Leah to slow her and shred her armor. The enemy support in a rush to either try and save their teammate who had put themselves in a bad spot or getting too bold and thinking they could actually take her lunged forward.
Alaska saw what was about to happen and as soon as the animation began she smoke bombed over it. The end result was that she and the enemy support had effectively swapped places. The enemy support quickly realized their mistake but it was too late. Their attempt to stop her failed when their follow-up skill hit the minions Alaska had positioned herself behind.
It was just her one on one with the enemy ADC and Trace was sick at that stuff. Alaska ran through her skills and after a couple of follow-up autos, they had one kill.
"Easy shit Laura," Alaska said with a grin. "Easy shit."
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Pippi
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“Easy shit, easy fuckin’ shit, bitch!”
Was Laura kinda yelling down the mic louder than strictly necessary? Maybe, possibly, but if she was, who gave a shit? What, was getting hyped against the fucking law now? Getting pumped up at a sweet-ass play? Fucking cuff her then, it wouldn’t be the first time. She was just getting high off excitement - and the joint she’d rolled before the game had started - so if her parents or neighbours or whoever the shit had an issue with that, that was their own problem, and they should probably take the sticks outta their asses.
Laura had a ridiculous grin on her face, switching gears as her opposing laner fell, rapidly clicking to move closer to the hapless Leah, who was probably all of a sudden wishing she was still toplane, bodying Stokes. Two versus three, with a concrete block for a lane partner, and she and Alaska could still turn a gank around like nobody’s business. God they were fucking good at this. She deserved a pro call up any day now, fuck knows she could do better than whatever the hell Clown 9 was doing right now.
And, hell, even though this Technician had one single brain cell bouncing around their head like one of those wack old-school screensavers, it had apparently just perfectly hit the corner of the screen and bounced perfectly back, as they landed a max-range Lights! on the Leah. The dipshit was panicking now, caught in between wanting to fight and wanting to flee, and Laura pounced, activating her W, each shot slowing the enemy toplaner down further and further.
“Eat shit, dumbass,” Laura muttered down the mic, the in-game announcer excitedly letting the other players know about their second kill of the skirmish. “Get the fuck outta my lane.”
She targeted the hapless support next, woefully out of position now, taking her hand off the mouse as her Karen moved in for the next kill. The sound of a can of Big Red being opened cracked down the mic. Yeah, that was right, Big Red, she wasn’t some Dew-swilling basic cunt, she was a classy bitch.
“Yo, how tilted do you think this Leah’s gonna be? Want me to type ‘FF?’ into chat just to make sure?”
Was Laura kinda yelling down the mic louder than strictly necessary? Maybe, possibly, but if she was, who gave a shit? What, was getting hyped against the fucking law now? Getting pumped up at a sweet-ass play? Fucking cuff her then, it wouldn’t be the first time. She was just getting high off excitement - and the joint she’d rolled before the game had started - so if her parents or neighbours or whoever the shit had an issue with that, that was their own problem, and they should probably take the sticks outta their asses.
Laura had a ridiculous grin on her face, switching gears as her opposing laner fell, rapidly clicking to move closer to the hapless Leah, who was probably all of a sudden wishing she was still toplane, bodying Stokes. Two versus three, with a concrete block for a lane partner, and she and Alaska could still turn a gank around like nobody’s business. God they were fucking good at this. She deserved a pro call up any day now, fuck knows she could do better than whatever the hell Clown 9 was doing right now.
And, hell, even though this Technician had one single brain cell bouncing around their head like one of those wack old-school screensavers, it had apparently just perfectly hit the corner of the screen and bounced perfectly back, as they landed a max-range Lights! on the Leah. The dipshit was panicking now, caught in between wanting to fight and wanting to flee, and Laura pounced, activating her W, each shot slowing the enemy toplaner down further and further.
“Eat shit, dumbass,” Laura muttered down the mic, the in-game announcer excitedly letting the other players know about their second kill of the skirmish. “Get the fuck outta my lane.”
She targeted the hapless support next, woefully out of position now, taking her hand off the mouse as her Karen moved in for the next kill. The sound of a can of Big Red being opened cracked down the mic. Yeah, that was right, Big Red, she wasn’t some Dew-swilling basic cunt, she was a classy bitch.
“Yo, how tilted do you think this Leah’s gonna be? Want me to type ‘FF?’ into chat just to make sure?”
"Nice!" Stokes hollered, in what was universally agreed to be the only suitable acknowledgement of Sick Plays.
She paused.
"Might get banned again if you talk shit."
She paused.
"Might get banned again if you talk shit."
"I think you should do it."
Alaska was feeling herself after the play. It always felt good to know that you outplayed someone. It was one of her favorite feelings in the world. It was a rush. It didn't happen all the time. When you played Champions you had to be aware of the universal truth that sometimes you were the hammer and sometimes you were the nail. But when Alaska was on, when she was really on, she was rarely the nail.
"Alright, alright, time to go kill Smokey."
It was an obvious nickname for a bear really, but her chat had latched onto it so the bear's name had become Smokey. Smokey Bear had even become her UN, which had led Laura to remark that it was because she was the size of a bear.
But anyway, she was gonna kill the bear—who wasn't her—and continue to snowball the game, because that was what she did. As she started off the bear fight, she sorted out the next step in her plan.
"Yo Stokey Baby, let me know when Leah gets back in lane and I'll fuck her up."
Alaska was feeling herself after the play. It always felt good to know that you outplayed someone. It was one of her favorite feelings in the world. It was a rush. It didn't happen all the time. When you played Champions you had to be aware of the universal truth that sometimes you were the hammer and sometimes you were the nail. But when Alaska was on, when she was really on, she was rarely the nail.
"Alright, alright, time to go kill Smokey."
It was an obvious nickname for a bear really, but her chat had latched onto it so the bear's name had become Smokey. Smokey Bear had even become her UN, which had led Laura to remark that it was because she was the size of a bear.
But anyway, she was gonna kill the bear—who wasn't her—and continue to snowball the game, because that was what she did. As she started off the bear fight, she sorted out the next step in her plan.
"Yo Stokey Baby, let me know when Leah gets back in lane and I'll fuck her up."
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Pippi
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Laura made a derisive noise down the mic, a sound that would draw unfavourable comparisons to a drowning donkey, mid-sip of her Big Red as she were.
“Oh come the fuck on, if Atom are gonna ban me for saying that, then we might as well throw the whole fucking game in the trash along with TSM’s hopes and dreams of winning another title.”
She rolled her eyes as she spoke, moving onto her next objective, as Dumb and Dumber were stuck staring at a monochrome screen for another few seconds, and her Techy lane partner was fuckin’, she didn’t care, jacking off in the bushes or whatever.
“Like, the other day, some fuckin’ Ivan player called me a dumb bitch in all chat, and that really hurt you know? I’m a fucking smart bitch, I don’t start shit if I know I can’t win.”
Not, technically, incorrect - when you didn’t give a flying fuck about anything, you could never truly lose. She had got it fucking sorted out with this whole ‘being dead inside’ business, she was gonna be swimming in cash and pussy before she knew it.
“Anyway, it’s three against one cause Alaska counts for two people, sooo-”
She hit the Enter key, pressed F twice in a row, then question mark, then hit Enter again. Then after a moment’s pause, she added another line to her friendly request.
MenGetPegged: ff?
MenGetPegged: did you mean to go into a bot game, or
“Right,” Laura said, cracking her knuckles once more and putting another gummy worm into her mouth. “Lets go kill your stunt double, ‘laska.”
“Oh come the fuck on, if Atom are gonna ban me for saying that, then we might as well throw the whole fucking game in the trash along with TSM’s hopes and dreams of winning another title.”
She rolled her eyes as she spoke, moving onto her next objective, as Dumb and Dumber were stuck staring at a monochrome screen for another few seconds, and her Techy lane partner was fuckin’, she didn’t care, jacking off in the bushes or whatever.
“Like, the other day, some fuckin’ Ivan player called me a dumb bitch in all chat, and that really hurt you know? I’m a fucking smart bitch, I don’t start shit if I know I can’t win.”
Not, technically, incorrect - when you didn’t give a flying fuck about anything, you could never truly lose. She had got it fucking sorted out with this whole ‘being dead inside’ business, she was gonna be swimming in cash and pussy before she knew it.
“Anyway, it’s three against one cause Alaska counts for two people, sooo-”
She hit the Enter key, pressed F twice in a row, then question mark, then hit Enter again. Then after a moment’s pause, she added another line to her friendly request.
MenGetPegged: ff?
MenGetPegged: did you mean to go into a bot game, or
“Right,” Laura said, cracking her knuckles once more and putting another gummy worm into her mouth. “Lets go kill your stunt double, ‘laska.”
There was no chance to survive make your time. Once Laura got going, she got going. All-chat became a warzone of memery and potshots and insults as the enemy team swiftly got tilted by the taunting and became more preoccupied with arguing than playing the game. Stokes had already given up on trying to get Laura to stop; she was here to hang and chill, not get into it about smack talk. If she wound up getting banned--well she actually probably wouldn't care and just buy an account or bot one or whatever.
The Leah ended up getting mad aggressive and did actually kill Stokes again, then once went 1 for 1 when Stokes died but the rest of the team cleaned up (with Laura taunting for greed), but otherwise the game quickly ran away from the other team. Alaska had things on cruise control with handy reminders every couple of minutes that she was real damn good at Champions, and soon enough they were rolling into the opposing base, wrecking buildings. The surrender came a little before the game ended naturally, but way after the fat lady had sang.
"Our house!" Stokes called with a little fist pump. A couple of seconds later, an alarm pinged on her phone. "Ay yo, I gotta jump off here. Things to do. Later."
After a couple of goodbyes, Stokes put her good microphone and filter on the desk, massaged her throat, drank some water. She'd scheduled some recording and some recording she would do. Hey, that shit took discipline.
(Stokes out)
The Leah ended up getting mad aggressive and did actually kill Stokes again, then once went 1 for 1 when Stokes died but the rest of the team cleaned up (with Laura taunting for greed), but otherwise the game quickly ran away from the other team. Alaska had things on cruise control with handy reminders every couple of minutes that she was real damn good at Champions, and soon enough they were rolling into the opposing base, wrecking buildings. The surrender came a little before the game ended naturally, but way after the fat lady had sang.
"Our house!" Stokes called with a little fist pump. A couple of seconds later, an alarm pinged on her phone. "Ay yo, I gotta jump off here. Things to do. Later."
After a couple of goodbyes, Stokes put her good microphone and filter on the desk, massaged her throat, drank some water. She'd scheduled some recording and some recording she would do. Hey, that shit took discipline.
(Stokes out)
-
Pippi
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The snowball of pure, incoherent tilt had started to roll. Obviously. Laura had predicted this would happen from the second she hit Enter. Touching nerves was the same in Champions as it was in real life. It was never about one, single grandiose statement, you didn’t start living inside someone’s head rent free by calling them a cunt or telling them that you’d fucked their mom. No, you just had to keep poking and prodding, typing ‘yikes’ or ‘oof’ or ‘nice cs’ after every mistake your target made, until eventually, inevitably, something snapped.
And the best part was, sometimes it wasn’t even the poor dickhead she was aiming for that went full malding in all chat! Sometimes it was some simp or white knight or do-gooding boring bitch on their team, trying to defend their 12-death teammate by spewing a full paragraph of who-gives-a-fuck into the chat bar! And Laura would just smile and lean back a little in her chair, because they were focusing more on typing than on actually playing, raging and sweating into their stupid mechanical keyboard, and she was just sitting pretty, eating gummy worms, winning the game, and most likely stoned out of her mind.
Stokes died twice more while the laning phase was still going strong, both of which brought an eyeroll from Laura so strong they were practically audible - like, for fucking real, if you couldn’t at least survive while in an even matchup then you needed to pack it in and go play something braindead, like Combat - so she had to thank fuck that Alaska was at the top of her game today. She had the leadership shit on lock, and pulled off a couple of really nasty outplays around the bear pit. It was easy to forget sometimes when they were hanging out, watching SOTF with a huge bag of chips between them and a grey haze in the air, that she wasn’t just a chunky pothead with terrible taste in potential boyfriends; she was also insanely good at this game.
Maybe that was what it was; maybe that incredibly visible muffin top was a byproduct of excess Champions skill overflowing out of her body. Or something. You couldn’t pay Laura to give a shit about Biology class. All that mattered was that her best friend had gotten fat; she didn’t really care about the hows or whys, but it was pretty fun to speculate. Maybe she’d gotten addicted to a particular fast food chain, in which case the strength of Laura’s ribbing would depend on which restaurant it was. Or maybe she was angling for the chubby chaser crowd, which, hey, she had an audience and a goal in mind, and she was willing to compromise her own image in order to reach it, so hey, fair play to her. Thirsty nerds paid well, that was a fact engraved in stone. Tenacity, that was what Alaska had.
Of course it was also really really stupid, if it was true, and Laura was gonna mock the shit out of her for it. At least it wasn’t as bad as when she’d tried to make feet her thing a little while back.
Laura smiled as the message that the enemy team had surrendered flashed onto her screen, her brain completely ignoring the part where she’d been the one to briefly turn Alaska into ‘The Foot Fetish eGirl’. Stokes said her goodbyes, and Laura figured that was her queue to head off too. Always best to end on a high, y’know? She chatted with Alaska a little bit, floated a couple plans to head to the mall over the weekend, then closed the Champions client, removing her headset and stretching her arms in one fluid, crackling movement.
Hmm. Speaking of ending on a high.
Her desk drawer slid open, and Laura fished out her papers and grinder, humming tunelessly as she worked. She rolled up a joint, then shrugged herself out of her chair and over to the window, pulling back the latch and hoisting it up. It was a funny thing, though. There’d been something about Alaska recently, something Laura couldn’t quite put her finger on. She hadn’t been cold exactly, or distant, they’d been hanging out and talking as much as usual. There was just something mopey about her, she guessed? Kinda like that whole bullshit with her and Emmy, just on a smaller scale.
Laura pondered over it for a while longer, before shrugging. Whatever. No use worrying about it. Odds were, Alaska was just dealing with a particularly bad visit from Aunt Flo. Girl would suck it up and get over it soon enough. She lit up, and gazed out the window, as wispy coils of smoke drifted off into the sky.
((Laura Hakštok continued in Could Be Worse))
And the best part was, sometimes it wasn’t even the poor dickhead she was aiming for that went full malding in all chat! Sometimes it was some simp or white knight or do-gooding boring bitch on their team, trying to defend their 12-death teammate by spewing a full paragraph of who-gives-a-fuck into the chat bar! And Laura would just smile and lean back a little in her chair, because they were focusing more on typing than on actually playing, raging and sweating into their stupid mechanical keyboard, and she was just sitting pretty, eating gummy worms, winning the game, and most likely stoned out of her mind.
Stokes died twice more while the laning phase was still going strong, both of which brought an eyeroll from Laura so strong they were practically audible - like, for fucking real, if you couldn’t at least survive while in an even matchup then you needed to pack it in and go play something braindead, like Combat - so she had to thank fuck that Alaska was at the top of her game today. She had the leadership shit on lock, and pulled off a couple of really nasty outplays around the bear pit. It was easy to forget sometimes when they were hanging out, watching SOTF with a huge bag of chips between them and a grey haze in the air, that she wasn’t just a chunky pothead with terrible taste in potential boyfriends; she was also insanely good at this game.
Maybe that was what it was; maybe that incredibly visible muffin top was a byproduct of excess Champions skill overflowing out of her body. Or something. You couldn’t pay Laura to give a shit about Biology class. All that mattered was that her best friend had gotten fat; she didn’t really care about the hows or whys, but it was pretty fun to speculate. Maybe she’d gotten addicted to a particular fast food chain, in which case the strength of Laura’s ribbing would depend on which restaurant it was. Or maybe she was angling for the chubby chaser crowd, which, hey, she had an audience and a goal in mind, and she was willing to compromise her own image in order to reach it, so hey, fair play to her. Thirsty nerds paid well, that was a fact engraved in stone. Tenacity, that was what Alaska had.
Of course it was also really really stupid, if it was true, and Laura was gonna mock the shit out of her for it. At least it wasn’t as bad as when she’d tried to make feet her thing a little while back.
Laura smiled as the message that the enemy team had surrendered flashed onto her screen, her brain completely ignoring the part where she’d been the one to briefly turn Alaska into ‘The Foot Fetish eGirl’. Stokes said her goodbyes, and Laura figured that was her queue to head off too. Always best to end on a high, y’know? She chatted with Alaska a little bit, floated a couple plans to head to the mall over the weekend, then closed the Champions client, removing her headset and stretching her arms in one fluid, crackling movement.
Hmm. Speaking of ending on a high.
Her desk drawer slid open, and Laura fished out her papers and grinder, humming tunelessly as she worked. She rolled up a joint, then shrugged herself out of her chair and over to the window, pulling back the latch and hoisting it up. It was a funny thing, though. There’d been something about Alaska recently, something Laura couldn’t quite put her finger on. She hadn’t been cold exactly, or distant, they’d been hanging out and talking as much as usual. There was just something mopey about her, she guessed? Kinda like that whole bullshit with her and Emmy, just on a smaller scale.
Laura pondered over it for a while longer, before shrugging. Whatever. No use worrying about it. Odds were, Alaska was just dealing with a particularly bad visit from Aunt Flo. Girl would suck it up and get over it soon enough. She lit up, and gazed out the window, as wispy coils of smoke drifted off into the sky.
((Laura Hakštok continued in Could Be Worse))
It was all too easy in the end. She was the best player in the game and she proved it by tearing up the enemy team. It was a showy and performative display. Alaska played in such a way to entertain people but remind them that she still had skills. Sometimes that got lost in her meme antics, especially if she was playing with Laura. But every so often she made an effort to focus and show people exactly what she could do when she played to the meta.
They won, as if it was ever in doubt.
Stokes was passable and Laura probably picked up a batch of reports off the enemy team but was just Laura playing Champions. Stokes left first, signing off after the game ended, meanwhile Laura hung around and she was left chatting with her best friend. They sorted out going to the mall over the weekend, Alaska wanted to go buy some new tops, then said goodbye for the night.
After her friends sign off Alaska was left staring at the Champions game client, wondering what to do. She had the urge to play some more but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Her finger hovered over the play again button as her desire to play more steadily drained away.
Yeah, she was just going to watch YouTube for the rest of the night.
((Alaska Ferguson continued in Champions 103))
They won, as if it was ever in doubt.
Stokes was passable and Laura probably picked up a batch of reports off the enemy team but was just Laura playing Champions. Stokes left first, signing off after the game ended, meanwhile Laura hung around and she was left chatting with her best friend. They sorted out going to the mall over the weekend, Alaska wanted to go buy some new tops, then said goodbye for the night.
After her friends sign off Alaska was left staring at the Champions game client, wondering what to do. She had the urge to play some more but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Her finger hovered over the play again button as her desire to play more steadily drained away.
Yeah, she was just going to watch YouTube for the rest of the night.
((Alaska Ferguson continued in Champions 103))