MW's Strengths/Weaknesses Critique Thread Rises From The Dead!

[MurderWeasel]

So, as loosely teased, I'm setting up a critique thread that is marginally less sunshine and rainbows than my favorite characters thread. Specifically, I am resurrecting an old thread from the before times. Of course, like any good reanimation story, it's coming back a little bit... changed.

So, here's the scoop: I will be offering thoughts on characters. These thoughts will comprise one (or sometimes two) notable strength(s) of the character and one (or sometimes two) notable weakness(es) of the character. That is to say, I'll tell you what you're doing that I'm digging and what you're doing that I'm not so down with. Each of these things will get a small to medium sized paragraph. It won't be much (or any) more writing than my favorites thread.

This is pretty off the cuff, which is to say I'm not gonna be doing in depth rereads here. I may skim if I get stumped, but mostly this is going to be relying on the impressions I've formed while reading your character--which is to say, being somewhat lazy, I'm picking a concept in which I have already done the bulk of the work.

As such, I will be accepting V7 characters only at this time. Furthermore, I think this sort of analytical stuff is most useful when there's room to do something with it, so I will be accepting only living V7 characters unless all your characters are dead, in which case I'll do a dead one.

If you are asking for a character you adopted, I will only cover the part you wrote. If you're asking for a character someone else adopted from you, I'm treating them in the same category as dead characters (that is, only fair game if you have nobody else alive and in your control) and also only touching your part. In no case will I be comparing different iterations of a character.

I have discovered the joys of having a queue. It means that when I inevitably lose interest and focus and let this die, the number of people I disappoint is limited. As such, this will be open in batches of five characters at a time. I will be very picky/strict on this, but if you miss a round don't fear--there will be another. New queues may not open immediately upon the closure of the previous queue. It depends on how I'm feeling or if I want a break.

Once you've gotten thoughts on a character, you can join a future queue but I ask that returning handlers wait at least 48 hours so new folks get priority. Yes, I will bump you if you make another request too soon. I won't like it and it'll be super awkward, so let's try to not let that happen!

Finally, of course, this stuff is just my opinion. You may be able to fish whether I like a character or don't from this (like, say, if I go "Strength: Jimmy McJoe's story is a masterclass in character, plotting, and tension. Weakness: He misuses the word 'surfeit' in his third post" I probably am down with Jimmy). You can also just ask if I overall like a character or not, though; I'm not shy about that. V7 in general sets new standards for quality IMO and even the characters I don't like I dislike less than their predecessors in past versions, so good job, folks.

I'll do an index or something. Also I'm sick, tired, overworked, and hosting so it may be a bit before the first batch goes out.

Queue is open. Taking five characters. Ask any questions you may have too.

1. Nia Karahalios (Fenris)
2. Teresa Rojas (Jilly)
3. Michael Froese (Kermit)
4. Sean Leibowitz (Ohm)
5. Morgan Dragosavich (Cactus)

[+] Completed

1. Ivy Langley
2. Teresa Rojas
3. Michael Froese

[+] For my convenience

Code: Select all

[size=125][b][/b][/size]

[b]Strength:[/b]

[b]Weakness:[/b]

[Fenris]

womp womp hello take nia pls

[Jilly]

henlo can I get your post-adoption Teresa takes of any temperature of your choosing

[Kermit]

flermot!!!!!!!!!!

[Ohm]

Sean pretty please.

[Cactus]

Morgan pls

[MurderWeasel]

That's queue for now!

[Kermit]

Furthermore, I think this sort of analytical stuff is most useful when there's room to do something with it, so I will be accepting only living V7 characters unless all your characters are dead, in which case I'll do a dead one.

u better critique nia q u i c k

[MurderWeasel]

Furthermore, I think this sort of analytical stuff is most useful when there's room to do something with it, so I will be accepting only living V7 characters unless all your characters are dead, in which case I'll do a dead one.

u better critique nia q u i c k

Ahahaha I actually meant to do this in the next couple days. That said, if Fenris wants they are welcome to swap someone else in here given extenuating circumstances/my tardiness.

[MurderWeasel]

Ivy Langley

Strength: I would say the single greatest thing about Ivy is the way she's grown into a nuanced, humanized character who remains an absolutely awful person. Ivy's a character who has a psychology based around a few key tenets, and never being wrong (or at least never acknowledging it to the masses) is one of the strongest of these. The hypocrisy is baked deeply into her, as she is fully capable of considering herself more or less blameless while at the same time casually inflicting violence on others (but it's not Ivy's fault because she's doing it by proxy usually or else they were asking for it!). She's petty, immature, manipulative, mean-spirited in a way that veers into the land of cruelty, but in this particularly internally consistent way.

And the other side of this is, Ivy's narrative knows she's not a great person. Even Ivy herself seems to realize it from time to time, though she shoves those thoughts right back under the bed. The line is carefully tread so that it's always clear that it's Ivy thinking she's right even when she's blatantly not, not some external voice going to bat for her. Furthermore, while Ivy has (many) bad qualities, she is always a person. She has her core group, and she has moments where she cares more about other people (quite often in spite of herself), and she kind of forces herself to look past the idea that things will have to end badly for them in order for her to get what she wants in much the same way she pushes aside those unpleasant musings about the things she does.

Also her fashion thread is one of the funniest OOC things of the version and I think now that she and Myles are reunited we need an island-based sequel judging everyone's garbage-chic after a week in hell.

Weakness: Ivy's threads always have a purpose and a direction, which means they're usually focused and never throwaway, but I think sometimes facets of this actually work against her. Viewed from a distance, Ivy's arc comes off as pretty curated. There's no real fat to trim, no pieces that don't line up... and when there are, they're quickly nipped off. In theory this sounds like a good thing, but I believe there's a big difference between making the most of every moment as it comes and specifically fishing for big narratively-apt moments, and the problem with the latter is that it can create this sort of... walled garden feeling.

Ivy's story centers around a specific cast who have relevance to her from Pregame or her first thread, and turns around them again and again without too much room for others to wedge their way in. In fact, I'd pick out the point where she bails out of a confrontation with Ty, Daria, and Christina as particularly demonstrative of this because, while the action felt in-character, the execution left no room for anything to go differently and it brought a hurried end to what actually really should not be a throwaway moment--this is Round Two with the dude who, all that time ago, started the spiral that led to almost all of Ivy's Pregame drama, but it feels like because the timing isn't quite right that gets brushed past and it's on to the next beat. I wanna see some more chaos, some more instances where things go wrong in an evolving, organic way due to unknown OOC factors and where Ivy's gotta think on her feet to deal with them, because ultimately that's what best sells a character being in a tight spot, and best gives power to their eventual triumph... or failure.

[MurderWeasel]

Teresa Rojas

Strength: I greatly, greatly appreciate the way that Teresa is a rolling ball of unpredictability. Jilly does an excellent job of receiving the baton from Yugi on that end and Teresa remains a character who is always active. If she turns up in a thread, stuff's going to go down and it's going to be outrageous, funny, and probably more than a little disturbing (but explained so you still have to laugh while wincing). There are a lot of different ways to frame a character's actions, and Teresa's narrative opts for a total lack of repentance. This lets her sidestep an issue that's plagued other would-be humorous antagonists in the past: Teresa makes no pretenses about feeling regret or whatever. You're not rooting for her because she's sympathetic, or her hand is forced, or she's got a sick grandma at home she just has to get back to. If you're pulling for her, instead, it's to see what she'll do next.

Also, Teresa takes swings at a lot of jokes and they don't always land but when they do they're great and when they don't they at least don't overstay their welcome. The name thing is always good for a chuckle, and there's so much wordplay that it's a joy to read.

Weakness: So the other side of being an active character is that sometimes quieter moments can be difficult to manage. On those rare occasions when the gas lets up some, Teresa starts to flounder--a marginally more restrained scene with Meka, Jonathan, and Valerija doesn't quite land, I feel, because nobody's really going to pick up the manic narrative energy that Teresa brings to the encounter and it just kind of feels mismatched. Teresa does her job well but her job isn't to fill a scene with nuanced emotional depth. And that's fine! And hey, there's a pretty solid chance Jilly could pivot her there if he really wanted to--he's good at balancing funny and sad--but that's not really been Teresa's style and I don't think it has to be. Just, Teresa does her thing and I think it's important to be aware of how the thread/company she's with at the moment gel with that, because when they're characters on the same page the results are particularly great but when they're characters doing something else it can be jarring or lose some of its power.

Also, I mentioned jokes not working sometimes and I guess I'll just wave my cane here and say that the ones that don't really do it for me are when it's just, say, an emoji slipping into the text or whatever. At her best, Teresa's very funny because of the wittiness behind the jokes, but sometimes they're delivered more in the funny-by-virtue-of-existing way and that doesn't connect for me quite as much.

[MurderWeasel]

Michael Froese

Strength: Michael is one of the densest, most nuanced and complicated and fully-considered characters not just in V7 but in SOTF as a whole. His story and arc are very concerned with examining the tangle of what exactly the island and the predicament of SOTF mean, on both an individual level and on a more global one. Kermit knows this already, but Michael's the sort of character that makes me PM his handler apropos of nothing to go "Oh, that's one of my favorite themes!" or "I don't know why this doesn't come up more often!" or "I found this song that I think matches the aesthetic here!" He's human in an especially tangled and unflinching way, cheerfully digging into the most uncomfortable facets of existence but keeping it from becoming unbearable for the reader through a mixture or humor and legitimately fresh and insightful things to do and ways to approach the game. Kermit has read a lot of SOTF, and that shows. Michael's story is breaking new ground, and doing so very competently.

I also really appreciate that Michael's story is one that does not patronize the reader. It assumes you're going to pay attention, and read everything, and put the pieces together, and it doesn't belabor points or shoehorn reminders where they don't fit. It trusts you to do your part and bring a critical eye, and focuses on its own end of the bargain. While sometimes this can lead to certain bits being perhaps not quite emphasized enough to permeate the general consciousness (Michael's doing the Ily special and is not-so-subtly on all the drugs, almost all the time, say) I think it will ultimately help him read well in retrospect too.

Weakness: This will also be a twofer. The first piece is not that Michael is an incredibly unreliable narrator (which I love), but it does stem from that. I talked a bit above about reading retrospectively, and the other side of that is that Michael goes through a lot of deep revelations and emotional reckonings and eureka! moments where he finally truly for-real understands what's going on with the game and himself and the universe... only to, a few posts or a thread later, realize he has no idea what he's talking about and is back to square one. It's fascinating stuff but also after the second or third time I don't trust him as far as I can throw him (well, I trust that it's his perceptions in the moment, but not that they'll last at all) and the thing is, each repetition gets the same (quite large) amount of narrative space and heft and emphasis that the first one did, and that can be tough for folks to churn through. I'm okay with it--it's one of my favorite things so like... I'm less bothered by this than I could be--but I think it's worth keeping an eye on especially with a character who is already extremely dense and nuanced and difficult in his own right.

The second thing is sometimes Michael will get discussed in chat or in critiques or something and then his story will turn based on that in a way that feels reactive. It's not always good and it's not always bad but I guess I just want to throw in a little note here: Kermit, trust in yourself and your vision! No character will ever be to everyone's tastes and there will always be a slew of contradictory advice (like I'm giving right now ) but at the end of the day what's most important is that you're satisfied and I know you're smart, thoughtful, and very capable of crafting one of the coolest narratives I've seen in a long time. Don't second guess yourself. You can do it.