...long before your time has come.

[Cactus]

((Continued from: ...still I don't know why you're dying...))

As he stumbled over a rock in the path, Adam Dodd couldn't help but feel a strange sense of deja vu. It hadn't been long ago, maybe hours, maybe days, that him, Hawley, and Alan Shinwrath had come wandering down this very same path, talking about whatever seemed to come to mind. At the time, while things were still sinking in, it hadn't seemed as unnatural a thing to do - stress made people feel bad, and when people felt bad, they would always try and get into a group in order to lighten the mood.

And now, one of the group is dead, and the other's missing, along with the rest of my friends, the rest of the people that I fully trust in this game.

Things weren't fair. Of course, Adam wasn't generally a believer in the philosophy that life had to be fair. In his eyes, you had to take what was given to you, and as Tom Cruise had said in Collateral, you had to 'roll with it, adapt...'.

Well, Tommy boy, this sure as hell is an interesting situation that I've managed to get myself into, now isn't it? Not a lot of adapting that I possibly can do. Sure, I could play, but putting myself in harm's way and killing my friends with no remorse just isn't exactly my style. But thanks for the advice.

Wandering down the path, he kicked a stone, which bounced a few feet away from him. He'd been of the opinion that before he came to this island, he'd had a lot of experience. He figured that he'd done a lot of things in his life. He'd had an eventful life, that was for certain. But when he came here...

I haven't done shit. I hadn't seen anything, compared to this. I saw my best friend's body wash up on shore. I saw a boy get shot in the face at close range. I've seen so much blood that an emergency room would be jealous. And yet I still have the nerve to think that before this I was experienced? That I had seen things?

Adam shook his head, and shifted his shotgun from one hand to another. It felt odd to be holding a fully loaded shotgun in his hands, and in his pocket, alongside his wallet, to have a fully loaded pistol. He had a baseball bat in his knapsack, as well as a stungun.

It's just not true. I hadn't seen anything. I was a poor, naive, innocent little kid. I thought because I had been in a car accident and been attacked by a family member that I'd been through some tough shit. Well how tough can it get beyond this? You're supposed to be here, killing your friends. You've got four weapons on your person that in the right circumstances, can kill any person on this island. If I were a little more sadistic, a little more sociopathic, I'd be a fuckin' killing machine. And people watch this crap on television?

Adam sighed. His sense of optimism that someone had once described as 'endless, as eternal as the silver spoon that's stuck up Van Garret's ass'. At the memory, Adam couldn't help but chuckle. That HAD to have been the Sarge. If he remembered correctly, it had been during the second intermission of one of their hockey games, the team was down maybe 5-1, and just getting slaughtered. Adam had grinned at everyone and voiced his opinion that they could come back, that they were just getting started, and Sarge had grumbled that comment under his breath but loudly enough that everyone was able to hear it. It had actually brightened the team's spirits enough that they came back and tied the game in the third, and managed to pick up the point.

It's shit like this that normal sixteen year olds think about. Normal sixteen year olds don't carry shotguns around and threaten to shoot every single person that they see.

Glancing around again, Adam decided that he'd turn right. As he walked down the path, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd actually end up anywhere at all. Wouldn't that be just fucking peachy? Winning the game because he got lost in the woods and was trying to find his way around while everyone else killed themselves?

Somehow this whole thing just stinks. How is it that Danya hasn't been caught by now? Doesn't make any sense. Maybe...maybe that's how fate is supposed to work. Maybe it's supposed to come down to me and him, and I'm supposed to kill him.

At that point, Adam stopped. He had a bad feeling in his gut, and he turned around and began to jog in the other direction. He couldn't explain it, but...he just felt that he needed to head left, instead. As he ran, his mind worked in overdrive.

Killing Danya...sure, I talk a good game, but can I really stand up at him and pull the trigger? I hate him so much, more than anything, but...but I just dont' know if I could do it. I don't think...hell, who am I kidding? I'm not a killer. Ever since I told Hawley on this very same fucking path that I'd help him end anyone who made fun of him - damnit, Dodd...you're full of shit. That's what you are. Your optimism, you're just masking the real fact of the matter out here. You're scared shitless, you have no idea what to do, and you're convinced that you're going to die. You won't be able to kill anyone, and that simple fact means that shotgun or not, you won't be able to protect ANYONE. Not Hawley, not yourself...not even Amanda. Nobody. And you've known it the whole time...you've known it...all along.

As his mind basically cussed him out, Adam gave his head a little shake. He was reminded of a song - a song that he had downloaded on a whim one day, but had ended up liking. It was a song about internal conflict - something he was definitely in the midst of.

"I-ya,
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine the same time,
I-ya, i-ya,
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
Right here is where the end gon' start at,
conflict, contact 'n' combat,
fighters stand where the land is marked at,
settle the dispute about who the livest,
3 word answer,
whoever survive this,
only one of us can ride forever,
so you and i cant ride together,
can't live or cant die together,
all we can do is collide together,
so i skillfully apply the pressure,
won't stop until i'm forever... one!
A door step where death never come,
spread across time til my time never done,
and i'm never done,
walk tall, why ever run?
when they move if i ever come?
bad man never fret the war, tell'em come
general we have the stock, the mad fire burn

I-ya,
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine the same time,
I-ya, i-ya,
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive

Reign supreme in your u-n-i,
v-e-r-s-e with the sharpness,
narrow row building no space for partners,
no space for drivers, no space for walkers,
no space regardless,
your on my path then get off it,
hardheaded and unresponsive,
get they lives put on target with harshness,
come with the canons sparkin' they darken,
who am i? one man squadron,
ma stir the fire this time that'd snatch your tomorrow,
the thousand yard spear that'll pierce through your armor,
you can get it on right now if you want to,
but when ya front 9 get marched through,
i warned you,
you know who forever belong to,
I-ya, i-ya
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine the same time,
I-ya, i-ya,
i against i,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine, survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive
survive

!survive!

It was at that point, at that point exactly, that Adam stopped for a moment. Stopped running, stopped completely. Standing in one spot, he looked at his hands. Cocking his head to the side, he spoke aloud to no one in particular.

"You know what? Fuck you. I wasn't brought up to quit.


And I'll be damned if I'm going to start now."


Looking towards the opening in the pathway about a kilometer in the distance, Adam smiled again, his grin back, that mischevious look in his eyes once more - the look that had been gone ever since he had found the body of Andrew Lipson. As he broke out into a full-fledged run, he knew that now, the time was at hand. Now, he knew that he needed to do.

It was time to find Amanda.

((Continued in: "Though we may not survive it..."))