the world is spinning but only in grey

[Fenris]

Then they were in the bed!

They was only three of them, the ones Ivy was holding with her hands, which was a good argument for having more hands because then there'd be more of them in the bed. There was room for three of them, and they could make room for five, they'd just have to pile on top of each other a little bit, and that would be fine. What was important was that the bed was safe. She'd seen it when she looked in the room, the faint glow coming off the bedspread—it would be enough to keep the shadows at bay, especially with Ace in it, he could probably charge it with his own light. She was pretty pleased with herself even though Lori didn't seem particularly happy about the circumstances. That was okay! The light needed time to heal her. She'd be okay.

And then there were explosions.

She screamed on instinct, her thoughts collapsing suddenly into a pile of static, light be damned. The bubble she carried threatened to burst, a sharp pain letting itself be known as she buried her face in Ace's chest because he was bright and strong and safe and she didn't know what else to do and she screwed her eyes shut but that made the sound echoing still in her ears get louder so she opened them again. The light was brighter than the sound. Her breathing was louder, too.

Ace had a plan. She nodded back. That made sense. She let him go and she scrambled under the covers. She was still okay. The hat would keep her safe until he came back.

She watched him kiss Amelia with vague interest, her lips tingling in disjointed memory. It made sense, didn't it? It had worked on her. Amelia needed help more than she had, probably. But she still wanted him to come back. But Amelia could come too, and also Declyn! She'd almost forgotten Declyn again. He was half cut out of the scene, a coloring book outline with only his hair scribbled in. And Lori, who wasn't in the bed anymore because time forgot her for a second and now she was with the others.

Ivy pouted. She'd had a good plan and they all forgot about it. But she wasn't getting out of the bed! She could walk over to Ace and be safe with him but they were real far away. Ten minute walk, at least. The shadows might swallow her by then even with the hat. No, she was staying right here. She'd be patient. She could wait.

"Come back," she said insistently three hours later.

[Kotorikun]

Declyn wanted to scream when the gun went off but he found himself unable to. Nothing came out. His voice was lost, the collar started to feel way too tight again, cutting off any air flow. Instead, there was a weird moment of silence after the bang, less than a split second, a single white frame that snuck in between the colors.

The artist needed to work on that composition. Something more pleasant maybe, yes?

He tumbled backwards when Amelia collided with his chest, one step, two steps, until he accidentally hit the bed with his heel, hissing slightly in pain through gritted teeth since he wasn’t wearing his shoes.

How does one find the right words or actions when everyone seemed to have lost it?

He picked up the flashlight Lori had dropped and took a quick glance behind him when he threw a concerned “You alright?” at Ivy and Lori. His own gun was back in its holster. A further look showed that the bullet had hit nothing but the wall. No one was hurt. At least not physically.

The kiss was just the next punch in the gut in this scene.

Declyn joined the sandwich which turned more into a Double Whopper with hurried steps.

“I have.... a lot of questions but let me ask this first: Did you guys find a hidden... wine cellar? Or something?,” he asked quickly. He wanted to know if they were drunk. But from his personal experience, it looked like more than that. So maybe....

“Amelia.” He tried to catch her attention. “Did you take anything weird? Did you have something to drink?” His eyes latched onto the next person. Eyes!

He fumbled with the flashlight, his hand almost giving up in keeping it steady in his grip. “Ace. Don’t look into the light, okay?” He leaned closer to his face and honestly, at this distance you could already tell without any tools that his pupils were extremely dilated. Very much so. He would need to compare it with the others to be sure, or to be one step closer to the right answer.

[Tonyksin]

Amelia’s eyes were squeezed shit as hard as she could. The sound that came out of the gun had scared her more than anything else that was going on so far. She’d never heard the sound of a gunshot before. It was loud and angry. Like the sound of people arguing in the hallways at school but more scary. Like that one time she saw a customer in her grandparent’s shop start yelling t her grandpa, but even more loud and it made her feel like all of her skin was crawling and goosebumping. She opened her eyes slowly, and all of a sudden all she could see was Ace in front of her, coming at her quickly. Her eyes widened in shock, but she didn’t have a chance to run before he grabbed her by the shoulders. She was going to scream, but suddenly there was a pressure on her mouth.

Ace was kissing her.

Amelia’s mind felt like one of those old sweaters with a loose string, that when you pulled it the whole sweater unraveled. She was very very confused by this situation. Why was he kissing her? How as she supposed to feel? She didn’t understand. She’d never been kissed before, not on the lips! That was supposed to be where you kissed people you were married to, right? Were she and Ace married? No, that didn’t make sense, she never wore a wedding dress or anything so that couldn’t be true. So why? Why was this happening? Did she hate it? She wasn’t sure. It felt like it was going on forever.

Oh no.

Did this mean she wasn’t a virgin anymore? How would she explain that to her grandparents? She was a good girl, she wasn’t supposed to do dirty things like this! Where was Dolly? Dolly would know how to make sense of all of this. His lips were still on hers and she was just standing there. She didn’t even think to pull away or something. She was so confused by the feelings rushing through her body. It felt like she was on fire, but not like earlier. This time it made her tummy feel weird.

He finally pulled away and she took a really deep breath because she felt like she hadn’t breathed in a while. She looked up at him, but then he suddenly pulled her into his embrace, and she felt her face turn about as red as a tomato. His body was really hard and muscley. It was really different from the other boys she usually hugged. It felt strong and sturdy and it made her want to both stay there forever and also run away as fast as she could. He told her not to do that again, but at that point she didn’t even know what it was that she did, all she could do was keep replaying the kiss in her head over and over and feel herself burning up in embarrassment.

Suddenly feeling bashful, she tried to pull herself away, but his grip was strong and now Lori was there and she was trying to squeeze between them, and she was reaching past her and trying to grab her gun, but she was still holding the gun pretty tight, but Ace was also holding it, and now everyone seemed to have their hands on it, but it was hers so why was everyone grabbing it?

“St-stop, it’s mine!” She half-heartedly protested as she tried to pull it away from everyone’s grasp.

She pulled away hard, and Ace let her go, almost making her tumble backwards but she caught herself. She pulled the gun into her chest and wrapped her arms around it to stop anyone else from trying to get it. It was hers. Not anyone else’s. Declyn said her name and she looked up at him. Oh no. Declyn knew. He knew she stole his water. He was probably mad. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to steal it! It was just closer than my water was, and I was really thirsty, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to steal your water, Declyn!” she begged for forgiveness, bounding over to him and dropping her head down in disgrace.

[Buko]

“Did that shit really work?”,he asked the ceiling, “Did I just say that out loud?”

Everything was moving quickly, Lori sprung into action, Amelia sprung back--but Aceito was in the zone. He had the juice. The sauce. Kid was dripping Swagu--he saw things in slow motion and broke it down with an appropriate pace. Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes style.

That was until Declyn got all in his grill and started flashing his, uh, flashlight in his face. What a buzzkill.

Dec told him to keep his eyes away from the light, Ace obliged, instead looking at Declyn’s mouth.

Was this motherfucker wearing cherry lip gloss? Nothing against cherry lip gloss but really?

The light reflecting on Declyn’s lips and the narrowness of his field of vision caused him to think wildly. An idea came to his mind, an absurd idea, rooted in an area of the subconscious unexplored and undisclosed and maybe if he wasn't on murder island it'd be interesting to talk about in therapy--but he was on murder island and so he was on his own.

Or not, unfortunately.

His body moved before he could think, bringing his face close to Declyn’s and sticking his tongue out, licking the boys face from chin to nose, going right over the lips and over his nostrils before separating and staring at Declyn quizzically as if to say 'Did I really just do that?'...but why bother repeating himself.

“Not cherry.”

He blinked.

“Sorry, that was inappropriate.”

He blinked again.

“Declyn, I think I’m on drugs.”

[Ruggahissy]

"Hey, woah!" Lori said, putting her hands up and away from the gun.

"I was just trying to uhhh...get it so I could uh..." She struggled to think of what might make sense to someone who was high. "...get rid of the curse that is on it with my... wiggle hands," she said, wiggling her fingers around. What Amelia said next also shed some light on what had happened. She'd drank Declyn's water, which is why she was tripping right now and Declyn could pass a field sobriety test. That wasn't a good development. Lori thought that it was the last time she'd try to be nice to someone.

Lori jumped back when Ace approached and started licking Declyn. Unfortunately for her, Ace was drugged enough to start sexually harassing everyone in the cabin (except Lori), but it didn't totally remove his faculties and he had realized they were on drugs. If Declyn figured out that they had been drugged by Lori, he might try to hurt her or keep her captive which would be bad news as far as taking supplies, but could even lead to the group hurting her in retribution.

"DRUGS?" Lori gasped. She nodded a few times and stared at her own hands, looking mystified.

"Yes, that explains why I can feel my skin breathing! The air is made of caterpillars! Time is a crystal palace!"

Lori put her hands against the wall and rubbed it in a circular motion.

"It's like my fingers are drinking the wallpaper," she said in a spacey voice.

[Kotorikun]

“Wh—Wait!” he stuttered, his hand pressed flat against Ace’s bare chest to put some distance between them. Ace’s skin felt hot. Or was it his own?

Declyn knew that he would have probably enjoyed the face lick in a different situation.

He also knew that he would have preferred Cecil to do it. With no drugs involved and less sweat.

He blinked, almost in sync with Ace. And when he shared his thoughts with him, Declyn knew that he was on the right track.

“I think so too,” he simply said, rubbing his heel with his other foot to ease the uncomfortable feeling when he stepped to the side, pulling his hand back and looked at Amelia as more information came to light. All he could think was please, be careful with the gun and god, please don’t squeeze it! while trying to focus on the important bits, one important bit being that his water had been drugged. But how? And when and what else? And especially, who was the culprit?

“You didn’t steal it, Amelia. It’s alright! You can use my stuff.” He bent his knees a little to get a look at her face. “Just don’t drink the water. I don’t think Ace is the only one on drugs.”

Ivy continued to whine on the bed, repeating the same lines and asking for Ace to come back. Lori, on the other hand, was more lively. Declyn couldn’t deny that he liked the crystal palace line. He wiped his lips and nose with the back of his hand before pointing the flashlight in her direction.

“Lori," He walked closer, rather cautiously. "Can I take a look at your eyes?”

[Ruggahissy]

Lori instinctively covered her eyes and looked away when Declyn shined the light at her.

"No!" she said, somewhat panicked. She knew what would happen if he looked at her pupils. They wouldn't be like the others' and he'd figure out what happened.

"Because... you'll steal them!" she said, trying to tap into the high energy of the others for her acting. "You're an eye witch! Right? Right Ace? You look at his seven eyes and tell me he's not an eye witch," she said turning to Ace. As far as she was concerned she was nailing the acting portion, but no amount of brilliant acting would alter the size of her pupils. She would have to cut her losses with this group while most of them were incapacitated and try again elsewhere.

"Lobsters are just the mermaid versions of scorpions! I'M GOING FOR A WALK!"

With that Lori shoved Declyn and ran out of the bedroom. She grabbed her bag on the living room floor and used her cheerleader agility to open the one window they'd left unlocked and jump gracefully out, landing with a thud and running from the leadership house. Maybe if she was lucky, they'd take each other out. However, she still felt regretful that she might never see Amelia again, the girl who had treated her with such respect.

((LorI Martin continued in Don't Stray Off The Path ))

[Buko]

“Yo…,” he finally muttered after Lori’s thought provoking statements and shocking display of physicality, “She’s pretty fuckin’ agile.”

He blinked and kept his eyes closed, the purple fractals marching forward like lightning. Perhaps that’s why they were so enlightening.

“I dunno for a fact, just like, y’know, what’s it called? Hypotenuse?”

That wasn’t it.

“I think Lori was lying.”

He brought his hand to his chin…

“Yo.”

He clapped.

“Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo,” he said with the utmost importance, “She really hopped out that window pretty cleanly, bag and all, that was pretty impressive.”

He turned around and headed towards the bed, towards the Prom Queen and the soft mattress and what seemed to be good times as opposed to bad ones. He knew he was playing with fire the deeper he went into his thoughts. He wasn’t rational or logical. He was tooted and booted off that shit you couldn’t smell. He couldn’t trust anything not even himself--but he couldn’t panic either. It was a tough balance and much like in football he figured if he was thinking he was losing. He had to become a being of instinct. It was a game, just like any other.

He laid down, arm outstretched and Ivy worked her way under his arm with expert skill. She had done this before, just not with him. A being of instinct as well, so it seemed.

He knew he was playing with fire.

“We’ll just chill and wait it out like chilling chilly chill people! If what I know about drugs is true, this’ll wear off by morning, maybe, I think. Fuck it, what else can we do?”

And ain't that the truth.

DAY 2: SUNRISE

The morning came, as it usually did, too soon and yet right on schedule.

The night had not been a chilly chill time, as tripping on acid on murder island tended to be (take his word for it). The night had been dark and full of terrors and Ace felt like he had been fighting them all throughout. Singing and dancing and touching and crying and hugging and kissing and being scared yet feeling brave and knowing everything yet knowing nothing and feeling the world spin so fast and yet your heart stand so still. Guilt and grief. Hope and promises.

He had been too loose and too giving with himself while under the influence. Running from the idea of being depressed, running from the reality of the situation--he felt like a fuckin' idiot. Was that compartmentalizing smart? Mature? Selfish? He didn’t know.

He knew that at one point in the night he had been convinced that the drugs were being pumped in through air vents.

When Declyn had insisted that there were no air vents in the house and that Lori had likely spiked their drinks (a fact made more obvious by her not returning), Ace had insisted on opening all the windows and removing the blockades--just in case. He got halfway through before he got scared of somebody busting in. He moved the furniture back.

Emotions came like waves and were gone like the wind in an instant. The only thing permanent being that dreaded impermanence.

The one other constant was Ivy, her presence and her touch.

He didn’t like girls like her. Shallow, rich, popular. She was too obvious even when she was trying to be coy. A being of id. He never trusted her or her attention, maybe he was always suspicious of the double meaning under it.

Where was that mistrust now? He needed that skepticism more than ever. The stakes were much higher than they had ever been.

He had a moment to himself now, on the front porch of the house, sitting on his duffel bag. The front door was left ajar now that daylight had come around. He had wanted to see the sunrise. It could be his last, it was important to see.

He was sober now or dancing on the edge of it. His old self present along with that irrational and emotional and needy and cowardly version of himself he had discovered last night.

“Fuckin’ Lori man.”

He was alone for now but wouldn't be for long. Nobody had slept really after the shenanigans had begun. They had been bonded in craziness, though Ace was still curious how Declyn had managed to endure a night locked up with three people tripping on LSD and not shoot himself or all three of them. He was a good dude.

Last of a dying breed.

How many of the good still would be standing by the end of today?


Who was he to judge.

[Kotorikun]

It sure had been

a night.

Declyn was resting his forehead against the doorway leading to the living room, his eyes closed, arms like lead hanging down his sides. After he had watched Lori leave through the window, he knew it might have been the last time he would ever see her again. And he had stood in the exact position, with his forehead against the doorway, his eyes open, his lip quivering in sorrow, arms like lead hanging down his sides.

The incident had shown him everything he needed to know about her when he hadn’t before.

Declyn turned around, his balance faltering like a jack-in-the-box for a short moment.

It wasn’t just the heat but the humidity that was really getting to him now. The way the fabric was sticking to his skin made him feel like everyone could smell him from everywhere, which wasn’t ideal, but at least he wasn’t the only one. He wondered if it would be safe to use the contaminated water to freshen himself up. While being up all night and making sure that none of the others would hurt themselves or each other during their uncalled trip, he had also picked out every single open bottle since assumingly each of them contained the drug. They were still on the table where he had left them after keeping them away from the three. He had left the unopen ones in their assigned bags.

The open front door brought a small amount of fresh morning air inside, but not really. There was no sign of wind.

Ace was probably enjoying the quiet moment out there, Declyn thought, so he let him be even though he’d like to keep him company.

He tugged at his shirt to get air in and walked over to the window instead to lean out and look up at the sky.

Collecting the pieces of hope that were present inside him was getting difficult.

[Tonyksin]

As with every other night, eventually the darkness broke to let in the golden dawn.

Amelia sat on one of the chairs in the house, a sheet draped over her as she stared out the window to greet the morning. The hours had passed by like mere moments, but the sun shine blaring through the dirty glass of the window made it perfectly clear that morning had arrived. Amelia sighed heavily and propped her elbows on the table she sat at, laying her head in her palms as she took in the morning. Thankfully, she had begun to feel more like herself over the past few hours, but there was still something off and uncomfortable.

Declyn said they were drugged. She supposed that made sense. She’d never felt the way she did last night before, not any other time in her life. Declyn confiscated all the open water bottles and placed them all on the table to make sure no one accidentally drank from them again. Amelia stared at the collection of bottles in front of her and frowned.

Why did Ms. Lori drug them?

Amelia noticed that her bag was the only one that was untouched. None of her water bottles were opened. Lori hadn’t been trying to drug her, unlike everyone else. Amelia had made the mistake of drinking from Declyn’s bottle, which is why she was affected. Why? Amelia didn’t understand. Was Lori a bad person? The others seemed to think so. She just felt confused about everything. She closed her eyes and rubbed at the right one with her fist. She was still so tired. Her body felt groggy and slow. After effects from the drugs most likely. Amelia looked around. She didn’t know where Ivy was. Ace was outside by himself. Declyn was in the other room. She was alone.

She hated that.

She turned her eyes to the double-barreled gun on the table next to her. She frowned at it. She had shot that gun last night. It made her feel so dirty and bad. Everything about last night made her feel dirty and bad, really. She pulled the sheet tighter around her. She’d stripped her clothing last night. It was embarrassing. It made her feel gross. She wanted to shower. She wanted to scrub away all these bad feelings.

But she couldn’t.

She hated that too.

[Fenris]

The night passed, with unreasonable speed and unbearable slowness.

Ivy had not slept. She didn't imagine the others had, either, though her mind had little space in it left to be occupied by their problems. Ace's presence had been constant, a sun sharing her bed, the heat and light became difficult to stand but at least he was safe, at least his arms felt almost familiar. The air buzzed in silence, occasionally filled by meaningless words. She blocked it all out. She kept the hat on her head but the peace it brought her left out the window with Lori, she couldn't accept serenity when she knew where it came from, she fought herself. It was drugs. It wasn't real. She looked and sounded like an idiot so she tried to sew her lips shut and wondered in relative silence at how strange the world had become.

She resented the knowledge, in a way. She'd felt so sure of herself in a way she hadn't in a long time and now the shadows crawling inside her were no less powerful for knowing they weren't real. She resented herself, too, the way her mind couldn't focus on her renewed commitment to dignity, the way her mouth refused to stay shut, the way Ace's lips found themselves on hers over and over and she never pushed him away. She didn't want to. Even now, in the cold light of day, with the fog beginning to clear, she felt the empty spaces in the bed like holes in her heart.

She wasn't yet sober. There was time enough to let him go.

Ivy leaned over the side of the bed, wincing at the stabbing pain in her side. The bubble had sprung a leak hours ago, the pain leaked out in drips until she remembered the full extent of her condition. She had cried, when it had gotten bad, she'd buried her face in Ace's chest and he'd pulled her up and kissed her again and it didn't help, not really, but it felt like something anyway. She ignored it for now, ignored that she should be more careful with her injury, reasoned that the pain might help her lucidity even as the act of moving made the shadows crawl at the corners of her vision. She pulled out a tin of crackers, a bottle of water, and then after a moment of thought her entire personal bag.

The crackers tasted... like crackers, mostly. Nothing with a hint of salt. She remembered the taste and feel of broken glass, crunching between her teeth, the faint taste of blood permeated the back of her throat, but she could work through it. The water tasted like poison but she knew it was only paranoia, Lori couldn't have had enough drugs to spare to taint all of their water. Fucking bitch probably got off on humiliating her, it wasn't worth thinking about, she'd be dead before Ivy ever saw her again, but there wasn't anything wrong with idly contemplating the state of Lori's face after a bleach bath, was there?

Breakfast taken care of, Ivy looked through her bag. A stick of deodorant was hardly enough to deal with the amount of sweat she'd worked up overnight, but it would at least mitigate the damage. Her compact showed her the extent of the damage, mascara nearly worn away entirely, lip gloss chewed off; a reapplication did quite a bit to make her look less like a zombie, though her concealer didn't quite hide the extent of the bags or the damage to her eye, and she couldn't ignore how dilated her pupils still were. Her brush had to be dragged through her hair, painfully; the humidity and lack of product made it rather frizzier than she was happy with, and she spared a bit of water to wet her hands and smooth her hair down. She found some more assorted junk at the bottom of her bag, including a ring whose origin she couldn't quite recall. It glowed, dimly, the way the hat she'd put back on her head after her hair was taken care of did. She slipped it onto her finger.

It was far too quiet. She ought to run, be long gone before anyone came looking for her. But she wouldn't.

She wondered if they would care, if she did.

[Buko]

“They say one day you here and the next day you gone, huh, what, yeah,” he caught himself whispering, “Trash. Total trash.”

His mind continued to race and he continued to fall upon old distractions and habits. He hungered for a pen, freestyling had never been his bag. He was not who he thought he was. He had thought he was above his classmates, better than them in some strange way. Too smart to be overcome by the social backstabbing and climbing, too dedicated to do drugs, too good to talk bad, too important to just be satisfied being in the background, too humble to be bound by their egos and frail pride.

And what kinda huge ego thinks that shit?

Always participating, never partaking, always a part of the group and yet always a man on his own. Who had he been kidding? He wasn’t better. His feelings towards Meilin hadn’t meant more just because he had harbored them for a long time before acting on them--she was a fantasy, idealized and he felt he deserved her. He wasn’t deep. He wasn’t this nuanced person. He was only extraordinary in how extra his ordinary was. Maybe he had even believed the words of those recruiters and his coaches? Maybe he had succumbed to the song in his dreams and the story he laid out for himself in his heart.

Young and dumb and soon to be dead.

For a moment he closed his eyes and thought about the idea of all the collars exploding, the idea that nobody had killed, that everybody had been bumbling and fumbling and soon it’d all end unceremoniously and without grace.

Except it didn’t.

Except the song of his heart was replaced by the booming of Danya’s voice, coming from everywhere and yet settling in his gut.

Abel had surprised him, it wasn’t the first name he expected. By Paloma? Fuck, that meant Lori was right. Pigs were surely bout to fly.

Then he heard it…

Toby Underwood killed by Tirzah Foss.

Toby killed by Tirzah.

“Nah T,” he whimpered, heat coming to his face and tears building, “What the fuck, shit, fuck, what the fuck? Why? Why? SHIT! FUCK! FUCK!”

He was scared, he stood up from the porch...his fists were clenched, hard. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t explain it at all. The names kept coming.

Tirzah killed Toby.

A week ago (or two?) they had been dancing.

Tirzah killed Toby.

Toby who was a bit of a dork but wouldn’t hurt anybody. Toby his track teammate. Toby his friend. Tirzah who was a chaos demon but who always seemed to be nice to Ace. Tirzah who always used to tease him. Tirzah who had actually been the one to tell Meilin he liked her. Tirzah who was responsible, really, for his first girlfriend.

And now Tirzah was the first person who had ever killed one of his friends. Now Tirzah was his first friend who was a murderer. He knew more would come. Danya didn't seem to be stopping soon.

“FUCK! THIS! SHIT!”

He turned to the door and swung at it, hard, a big dent and crack being placed in the wood. He punched again with the other hand, again. He felt his knuckles split and his hands turn on fire. He punched again. He wanted to be hit. He wanted to run. He wanted to fight and yet he knew. He knew he was so childish and weak.

The door was the only thing he was capable of letting his frustration on.

By the time he had heard Dante’s name, killed by someone named Blaise (a name that sounded familiar but didn’t readily come with a face) the wood of the door was plenty cracked and covered in bloody fists. Ace felt his knuckles sting and fists swell.

And soon he was on all fours. Bawling and balled up. Violent before and vulnerable now.

“Fuckin’ Tirzah, Blaise” he wailed, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

No more words came out, just tears…

And the occasional bloody fist hammering into the ground.

[Kotorikun]

Danya’s voice sounded surreal, like a broken tinkling music box missing an off switch.

Declyn wanted it to stop.

Names.

Each of them familiar, some closer to his heart than others, real. Those were real people. Not just names, real people who had died in the past 24 hours, real people who had bloodied their soul.

He kept gasping for air, softly, quietly, short and quick breaths while his hands clutched the window still, his wide eyes focused on the ground below, barely blinking. His mind was stuck on Nick’s name for a while, then Yuko's (his thoughts shifted to her sisters), Tyrell's once it fell a second time, Dante's, one of the sweetest guys he had known. Declyn tried to keep up, tried to connect all the dots, the lines, but what was there to connect? All while the noises at the front door and Ace's voice grew louder, making him flinch every now and then. The announcement was going to make people feel all kinds of emotional, the whole range, obviously.

It would fuel them to more drastic actions.

Declyn stepped away backwards from the window, shaking his hands as if they were dirty while his face was all scrunched up when he was trying not to cry.

It didn't work.

The tears were running before he knew it and a small whimper escaped his lips. He felt bad for being relieved. Relieved that none of his closest friends had been mentioned. Relieved that Cecil had not been mentioned.

"Ace," he called, his tone wavered. "Stop, stop.... Just stop!" He was biting his lip hard, his vision blurred when he walked towards the door once it quieted down. The strength Ace had put into it was impressive and he was glad that it was what it was; just plain old, old wood.

"Hey," he exhaled a sharp sob, a result from holding his breath for a moment. The silhouette on the ground resembled none of the strength from just a moment ago. The heat was worse out there but now would be the best time to head out and take advantage of the sunrise before wandering around when it would be at its full blast. It didn't make him look forward to it more anyway. But what would staying in this place do?

Declyn dropped to his knees and reached out to Ace’s hand to put his own on top of it.

[Tonyksin]

Amelia was stunned to attention by a booming voice overhead.

At first she thought it may have just been in her head, another symptom of the apparent drugs she took, but as it went on a bit she realized it was real. And it wasn’t good. No, it was far from good. There were no more good feelings to be had in this house. The man was telling them the names of the people who died yesterday. Amelia didn’t understand at first. Were people really dead? How come? She looked over at the gun on the table. Oh… that’s how.

People were hurting others.

Paloma, a girl she knew, had killed someone. But why? Tirzah killed someone too. It was strange. Amelia didn’t feel anything she could name as a feeling listening to that. It was just words. She didn’t comprehend it. Not yet. The screams coming from Ace in the front made her uncomfortable. She pulled her feet up onto the chair and buried her face in her knees. She just wanted him to stop. It made her hair on the back of her neck stand up. But even with Ace’s screams in the background, the voice overhead continued.

Yuko had died as well. She was friends with her sister Yuka. That one made her kind of sad. But she didn’t know her. Not really. It wasn’t real. Death was a strange concept for Amelia. She’d never known anyone who died. How was she supposed to feel? She didn’t know, but she wrapped herself tighter in the sheet as the voice continued. Violet was killed, and for a moment, Amelia thought it was the Violet she knew. She was scared at first, but then she realized the last name wasn’t right. It was the other Violet.

Did that make it less scary or sad? She wasn’t sure.

The voice finished, and the quiet that held in the air after made her skin crawl and her stomach drop. She could still hear the bangs coming from out front, and Ace’s weak voice as he too struggled to understand the news they’d all just received. Amelia didn’t understand. She didn’t want to understand. She just wanted the banging to stop. She just wanted all of it to stop.

“Stop it…” She whimpered, her small voice panicked and cracked.

She cowered into herself even tighter and felt her face start to become wet from the tears pouring from her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She didn’t want to be in here by herself, but she didn’t want to move either. She was scared. She was lonely. She wanted to go home. Why were people dying? Why was any of this happening?

“Dolly… help me…” She sobbed as she shivered in the chair as the sounds died out in the front.

[Fenris]

Ivy had reopened her compact when the speakers crackled to life, making a second attempt to hide the bruises around her eye. They'd only seemed to darken overnight, going from red to purple and black. Foundation never agreed with her skin, always dried it out, her concealer was made for the occasional pimple and nothing more. Attempting to cover the wound would take the whole bottle and look ridiculous besides. She'd swept her hair over it, blinding herself in one eye, sacrificing tactics for vanity. A solution until it killed her. In the moment, it seemed worthwhile.

Then, she stopped, and listened.








She did not react. At least, not the way they wanted her to.

Who was they, was the real question. The terrorists? Ivy didn't imagine they cared enough to take the slightest note of their actions unless they broke rules or ended in a stopped heartbeat. Maybe some of them paid attention, maybe she'd give them some satisfaction by crying or screaming or panicking but she didn't care. They weren't people any more than the shadows in the corner of her vision were. Whoever was at home, watching? There were maybe two people who would watch her and care and who knew what they wanted, if they wanted anything, if they cared much at all, if they'd take the time to watch her die. Declyn, Amelia, Ace? Who knew what they wanted. Who cared. They had their own problems, if the crying, the yelling, the unmistakable sound of a fist hitting the wall were anything to go by. She hated them, she thought, but she didn't mean it, but she wished they'd shut up.

This was a moment she wanted to have.

Was it the shadows themselves? They had no power. The monsters under your bed disappeared when you grew up and real ones took their place. There were real monsters everywhere, now. Exactly who she'd have pointed to if posed the question, too; who the fuck would be surprised to hear Tyrell Lahti killed someone? Who'd be surprised to hear Blaise had done something unimaginably selfish, or that Nick—



It was herself she was fighting. That was all it was. Her trying to force a normal face when choking on lead poured into her lungs. She'd laughed too much, cried enough, felt everything there was to feel and while she had nine people had died and she had only loved one of them.

Beryl was dead.

By any standard, a tragedy.

Only one of her friends was dead.

A blessing, somehow. Thank God it wasn't worse, it wasn't more, at least it wasn't Myles, wasn't that disgusting? Didn't she deserve to suffer, for thinking that way? Maybe it was her punishment, maybe tears would be too cathartic. They pricked at the corners of her eyes anyway, rebellious, but they did not fall. Her soul was concrete. That was for the best.

A smile flashed in recesses of her memory, vague and yielding. She never knew what Beryl was thinking and now she was thinking nothing at all and now she was imagining a mind turned off and nothing nothing nothing nothing forever and ever and Beryl was nothing and everyone would be soon too and

she stopped. She refused to engage. Power was only given to what she allowed to take it. She...

... remembered, suddenly, where the ring on her finger had come from.

...







When she appeared at the front door, she didn't recall taking the steps to get there.

"We're leaving," she murmured, but she expected no argument. She'd stuffed everything she could in one bag, left the assorted clothing she couldn't fit in the bedroom.

She didn't know why "we" was anything. He was stronger than her. Bigger. He was useful. Those would be good reasons. But truthfully she didn't know why she didn't keep walking and not look back except that a force like gravity drew her to Ace even with the weight of her leaden heart.

She was far too tired to pull away.