What Do I Hear, What Do I Hear?
Open if you want to play with Darlene and/or goats
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
What Do I Hear, What Do I Hear?
((Darlene Silva continued from Hellbound Hearts))
Darlene had confirmation now. It was something.
She'd spent the last day being even more useless than usual. Find Arizona, that was the mission that Jonah had left her with, but Darlene hadn't possessed a single clue how to manage that. Obviously, waiting around anywhere near where Jonah had been shot was out of the question, and going where Arizona was was also impossible due to its status as a Danger Zone, which left the only reasonable choice attempting an interception. But even the space between the menagerie and the gardens was quite large, and that was assuming Arizona made a straight shot, and also assuming Darlene didn't get turned around and end up watching entirely the wrong vector of approach.
And all of that, every last bit of reasoning, was ultimately academic because the first thing Darlene had done upon getting what she nervously judged as "clear enough" from where everything went to pieces had been finding the densest, thorniest thicket of twisting, prickly bushes, then dragging herself as deep in as she could go until she was way out of sight of everything. Then, she'd cried for what felt like the rest of the day.
It hadn't actually been that long, of course. She thought maybe an hour, and even that was probably overestimating. An hour was just Darlene's typical unit of measurement for a long span of time. It was a big chunk of the school day, or too long past bedtime to still be up (but only half or a third of what she'd eventually manage before falling asleep). Whatever the case, however long it had been, she'd figured it was too late to actually catch Arizona or make progress, so she hadn't even tried. She'd patched the scratches she'd suffered burrowing into the bushes, and had waited and waited and finally moved on only once the sky had started to turn dark. She'd given only the briefest of thoughts to returning to the gardens. Yes, there was that faint hope that she'd been wrong, that Jonah was somehow alright, but it was just fantasy. Jonah had said they'd meet up in an hour, but he hadn't said where. That was what made this different from the last parting, what let Darlene know beyond any plausible doubt that it was final.
The morning brought with it double bad news, though: it was announced back to back, and not only was Jonah gone, so too was Lucas. This meant that the only people left alive who Darlene had spent much time travelling with were Arizona and Stephanie, unless you counted Kelly (who was a murderer probably) or all those people from the first day, most of whom Darlene could barely remember and who thus might also be dead, or even have been dead for a long time. Even Arizona, the best option of the lot, might not be exactly overflowing with enthusiasm to see Darlene, given what had happened on her watch.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all, because Darlene had been all ready to be alone from the very beginning but then Jonah had pulled her out of that and given her something to cling to, and then Max had come along and built on that, but then Jonah had been lost and Max had fallen and she'd resigned herself to being alone all over again. But then, then! Then she'd found Jonah, and it had been okay again, just for those few hours, just up until it was ripped away from her once more. So maybe it was better everyone was dead. Maybe it was better because now there wasn't any reason to hope or think things could ever improve again. It was as bad as it had been at the start, and Darlene knew that, and it was horrible but at least it was certain.
Sierra was dead too, which was sort of a surprise to Darlene because the girl had seemed so scary and fierce, fighting and screaming in the halls. Really an awful lot of people who had more business doing well in this sort of thing than Darlene did were dead. She didn't know how many were left, but they'd said halfway a while ago, hadn't they?
For just one brief little moment, she entertained the thought: what if? What if she just stayed out here in the bushes and trees for a real long time and everyone else went and... died, in whatever manner was most convenient and expedient? And then at the very end when there were just a few left, Darlene would come out and then could anyone blame her if she shot the last other person? People had forgiven her for bad things already. Jonah and Max had forgiven her, and if there weren't many people left could anyone really blame her? And probably they'd already be killers or attack her first besides, so then it definitely wouldn't be her fault.
But it wasn't good to be thinking like that, hoping like that, because there were still so many people and Darlene could barely even use her gun.
Now a few hours after the announcements, Darlene was crouching in yet another patch of undergrowth, watching goats. The fingers of her left hand rubbed at the side of her head, brushed over glasses and bandages and gently traced the edges of gauze, before plucking loose the withered flower that had still been nestled behind her ear. She looked at it for a time, then let it drop to the ground, but that felt too cruel and final so she picked it back up and then gently set it on a small rock.
Her right hand held the gun. There was a small group of goats picking their way through a field, eating weeds, and she turned her attention back to them. Darlene wished she could eat weeds too. It was probably way tastier than the bars, which she was just about out of anyways.
She sort of wished she could eat goat, also, except not quite. She'd thought to try at first, but she wasn't really a good shot and it'd make so much noise and she didn't know how to skin or cook a goat besides. And now she was glad she hadn't because she'd been watching them for maybe half an hour and it was the best thing that had happened in at least a day.
There were five. Three were brown, one was black, and one was speckly white. The browns were two big and one small, and then the black was also small and the white was kind of medium-large. Darlene had decided that the brown goats were a family and maybe the other two were also parent and kid (the one special piece of goat-related terminology she happened to know, and also apt in this circumstance). They ate and they playfully butted at each other and they seemed to be having altogether a nice time.
She didn't know if the goats hadn't noticed her yet, or if they were aware of her presence and just didn't care. It wasn't really important, until, suddenly, it was.
All five goats froze in unison. Darlene's heart started beating faster as she looked around, wondering if they'd seen or heard something, if there was potential danger nearby. But the thicket she was nestled in was so dense she couldn't see much of anything on the flanks, and had no way of telling what had spooked the herd.
Darlene had confirmation now. It was something.
She'd spent the last day being even more useless than usual. Find Arizona, that was the mission that Jonah had left her with, but Darlene hadn't possessed a single clue how to manage that. Obviously, waiting around anywhere near where Jonah had been shot was out of the question, and going where Arizona was was also impossible due to its status as a Danger Zone, which left the only reasonable choice attempting an interception. But even the space between the menagerie and the gardens was quite large, and that was assuming Arizona made a straight shot, and also assuming Darlene didn't get turned around and end up watching entirely the wrong vector of approach.
And all of that, every last bit of reasoning, was ultimately academic because the first thing Darlene had done upon getting what she nervously judged as "clear enough" from where everything went to pieces had been finding the densest, thorniest thicket of twisting, prickly bushes, then dragging herself as deep in as she could go until she was way out of sight of everything. Then, she'd cried for what felt like the rest of the day.
It hadn't actually been that long, of course. She thought maybe an hour, and even that was probably overestimating. An hour was just Darlene's typical unit of measurement for a long span of time. It was a big chunk of the school day, or too long past bedtime to still be up (but only half or a third of what she'd eventually manage before falling asleep). Whatever the case, however long it had been, she'd figured it was too late to actually catch Arizona or make progress, so she hadn't even tried. She'd patched the scratches she'd suffered burrowing into the bushes, and had waited and waited and finally moved on only once the sky had started to turn dark. She'd given only the briefest of thoughts to returning to the gardens. Yes, there was that faint hope that she'd been wrong, that Jonah was somehow alright, but it was just fantasy. Jonah had said they'd meet up in an hour, but he hadn't said where. That was what made this different from the last parting, what let Darlene know beyond any plausible doubt that it was final.
The morning brought with it double bad news, though: it was announced back to back, and not only was Jonah gone, so too was Lucas. This meant that the only people left alive who Darlene had spent much time travelling with were Arizona and Stephanie, unless you counted Kelly (who was a murderer probably) or all those people from the first day, most of whom Darlene could barely remember and who thus might also be dead, or even have been dead for a long time. Even Arizona, the best option of the lot, might not be exactly overflowing with enthusiasm to see Darlene, given what had happened on her watch.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all, because Darlene had been all ready to be alone from the very beginning but then Jonah had pulled her out of that and given her something to cling to, and then Max had come along and built on that, but then Jonah had been lost and Max had fallen and she'd resigned herself to being alone all over again. But then, then! Then she'd found Jonah, and it had been okay again, just for those few hours, just up until it was ripped away from her once more. So maybe it was better everyone was dead. Maybe it was better because now there wasn't any reason to hope or think things could ever improve again. It was as bad as it had been at the start, and Darlene knew that, and it was horrible but at least it was certain.
Sierra was dead too, which was sort of a surprise to Darlene because the girl had seemed so scary and fierce, fighting and screaming in the halls. Really an awful lot of people who had more business doing well in this sort of thing than Darlene did were dead. She didn't know how many were left, but they'd said halfway a while ago, hadn't they?
For just one brief little moment, she entertained the thought: what if? What if she just stayed out here in the bushes and trees for a real long time and everyone else went and... died, in whatever manner was most convenient and expedient? And then at the very end when there were just a few left, Darlene would come out and then could anyone blame her if she shot the last other person? People had forgiven her for bad things already. Jonah and Max had forgiven her, and if there weren't many people left could anyone really blame her? And probably they'd already be killers or attack her first besides, so then it definitely wouldn't be her fault.
But it wasn't good to be thinking like that, hoping like that, because there were still so many people and Darlene could barely even use her gun.
Now a few hours after the announcements, Darlene was crouching in yet another patch of undergrowth, watching goats. The fingers of her left hand rubbed at the side of her head, brushed over glasses and bandages and gently traced the edges of gauze, before plucking loose the withered flower that had still been nestled behind her ear. She looked at it for a time, then let it drop to the ground, but that felt too cruel and final so she picked it back up and then gently set it on a small rock.
Her right hand held the gun. There was a small group of goats picking their way through a field, eating weeds, and she turned her attention back to them. Darlene wished she could eat weeds too. It was probably way tastier than the bars, which she was just about out of anyways.
She sort of wished she could eat goat, also, except not quite. She'd thought to try at first, but she wasn't really a good shot and it'd make so much noise and she didn't know how to skin or cook a goat besides. And now she was glad she hadn't because she'd been watching them for maybe half an hour and it was the best thing that had happened in at least a day.
There were five. Three were brown, one was black, and one was speckly white. The browns were two big and one small, and then the black was also small and the white was kind of medium-large. Darlene had decided that the brown goats were a family and maybe the other two were also parent and kid (the one special piece of goat-related terminology she happened to know, and also apt in this circumstance). They ate and they playfully butted at each other and they seemed to be having altogether a nice time.
She didn't know if the goats hadn't noticed her yet, or if they were aware of her presence and just didn't care. It wasn't really important, until, suddenly, it was.
All five goats froze in unison. Darlene's heart started beating faster as she looked around, wondering if they'd seen or heard something, if there was potential danger nearby. But the thicket she was nestled in was so dense she couldn't see much of anything on the flanks, and had no way of telling what had spooked the herd.
“The breeze feels so nice, don’t you think?” The crunch of feet walking along a dirt path filled the silence that followed the question.
“Yes, you’re right. I should take a bath soon.” More crunching. The girl held out her hand and let the tall grass brush against her fingertips as she walked along.
“My tummy hurts after eating those flowers.” Her other hand rubbed her stomach lightly as she continued to follow the path. She shook her head and sighed.
“You’re right. You always are.”
The path suddenly opened onto a small grassy plain, revealing the small disheveled girl speaking to the air. Her black hair, still in a makeshift bun, was full of dirt and grime, loose strands spilling out in every direction, some even falling over her face. There was a bandage wrapped around her forehead, the left side stained red with blood from underneath. Her eyes were red and puffy, mascara stains running down her cheeks. She took another few steps forward into the grassy area, her legs shaking a bit with each one. Her skirt had a few rips and was covered in dirt and grass stains. Her sleeveless blouse was much the same, with a few buttons missing here and there, leaving the top rather open and exposed.
She saw the small grouping of animals, and a smile brightened her dirty face.
[Amelia Fischer Continued From The Moon]
“Baa-baas!” She cried out softly, smiling from ear to ear at the cute critters. They noticed her presence and after stopping and staring at her for a moment, the goats hurried off into the tall grass and out of her sight. She pouted slightly at this development.
“Aww, bye baa-baas…” she shuffled forwards a bit, and crouched down. She frowned and wrapped her arms around her torso.
“Why didn’t they wanna be my friend?” She wondered aloud. Amelia liked animals. She looked around, hoping maybe she could see more of them. No dice. They’d all run away. That made her unhappy. She’d been alone for so long. Well, mostly alone. It would have been fun to play with some cute goats. As she was looking around, she spotted a flash of black hair among the grass, and he hopped to her feet in an instant.
“Hello…?” She called out, hopeful that she actually saw someone.
“It’s okay, it’s me, Amelia!”
“Yes, you’re right. I should take a bath soon.” More crunching. The girl held out her hand and let the tall grass brush against her fingertips as she walked along.
“My tummy hurts after eating those flowers.” Her other hand rubbed her stomach lightly as she continued to follow the path. She shook her head and sighed.
“You’re right. You always are.”
The path suddenly opened onto a small grassy plain, revealing the small disheveled girl speaking to the air. Her black hair, still in a makeshift bun, was full of dirt and grime, loose strands spilling out in every direction, some even falling over her face. There was a bandage wrapped around her forehead, the left side stained red with blood from underneath. Her eyes were red and puffy, mascara stains running down her cheeks. She took another few steps forward into the grassy area, her legs shaking a bit with each one. Her skirt had a few rips and was covered in dirt and grass stains. Her sleeveless blouse was much the same, with a few buttons missing here and there, leaving the top rather open and exposed.
She saw the small grouping of animals, and a smile brightened her dirty face.
[Amelia Fischer Continued From The Moon]
“Baa-baas!” She cried out softly, smiling from ear to ear at the cute critters. They noticed her presence and after stopping and staring at her for a moment, the goats hurried off into the tall grass and out of her sight. She pouted slightly at this development.
“Aww, bye baa-baas…” she shuffled forwards a bit, and crouched down. She frowned and wrapped her arms around her torso.
“Why didn’t they wanna be my friend?” She wondered aloud. Amelia liked animals. She looked around, hoping maybe she could see more of them. No dice. They’d all run away. That made her unhappy. She’d been alone for so long. Well, mostly alone. It would have been fun to play with some cute goats. As she was looking around, she spotted a flash of black hair among the grass, and he hopped to her feet in an instant.
“Hello…?” She called out, hopeful that she actually saw someone.
“It’s okay, it’s me, Amelia!”
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
When the goats bolted, Darlene did her best to stay very still, except for her right thumb. That digit pulled the hammer of the revolver back with a click that was swallowed up by the rustle and crash of hooves through foliage.
The voice that also cut through the area concurrently was almost child-like. It was the sort of voice Darlene thought people maybe thought she had, but it wasn't how she heard herself in her head. That quasi-familiarity made her more nervous, if anything.
She knew the feeling that voice was expressing. She knew how it felt to just go and give up. That was where she almost was now, almost just about ready to sigh and start singing and never stop until she stopped forever. She'd even been given the first notes, not her usual but they'd do ("Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool?" "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!"). Jonah probably wouldn't have approved, but he might've understood maybe, and perhaps preferred it to other options. Max wouldn't have liked it one bit. That didn't matter because they were gone. Maybe if the dog was still here Darlene would've done it.
She could just about taste her heartbeat. All of a sudden the thicket she was nestled in felt like an incredibly, unbearably stupid place to be. She was tucked into this little hollow spot because the branches emanated from a central trunk, but deep down inside the light didn't reach well so there were no leaves, just poking scratching dead dry twigs, which gave her some mostly clear room to crouch. But those twigs pulled at Darlene's hair and scraped at her hands and bandages and the hole in the back of her shirt. Her knees were pressed into the dirt, which was moist soil which felt all of a sudden very crawly, like she was huddling in a nest of centipedes. It was too dark in here, and her eyes too adjusted to staring into the light at the now-departed goats, to make it out properly but there were some thick dark oblong shapes back by her left shoe that could be more twigs or seed pods but were probably horrible insect pupae. She was choking on the thud of her blood now, and then the girl looked directly straight at her and called out.
Darlene choked for real and coughed twice, loudly, as her saliva went down wrong, and all she could perceive was the saltiness and faint flavor of illness that came from a dry mouth and overactive sinuses draining. Her left hand clenched at the side of her head but that hurt enough to disincentivize continuing so she let it fall. She turned her head wildly back and forth in search of escape, but she hadn't thought about that at all ahead of time. She'd gotten into the bush by getting down flat to the ground and wriggling in from the same direction she'd been watching, which was the least dense, and the only way out was either back that way or else standing up and just bodily crushing her way out through an entire bush worth of branches, which she probably could not physically manage.
The first solution to this quandary that came to mind was to simply gun down the girl who had called—Amelia, a name that meant nothing to Darlene but what else was new?—from cover and then leisurely extract herself and depart at her convenience. But Darlene was not a good shot, as she'd seen last time she tried that, and if she just started shooting and the girl had the wherewithal to return fire then Darlene would be a sitting duck in this bush and would probably die right here and spend her very last seconds tangled up in spiky twigs while grubs and worms writhed against her face.
So, then, the situation called for diplomacy.
"I, um, I, Darlene," Darlene said, while still kind of choking a little, "I'm Darlene."
This felt safe because she hadn't been announced, but also she wasn't quite sure. She didn't know if Amelia had been announced. Not often enough to make an impression, at least, but Darlene kept the gun pointed from her hiding place within the bush just in case. down low where the light would not gleam off the metal.
"I'm coming out," she continued, "if it's okay?"
The voice that also cut through the area concurrently was almost child-like. It was the sort of voice Darlene thought people maybe thought she had, but it wasn't how she heard herself in her head. That quasi-familiarity made her more nervous, if anything.
She knew the feeling that voice was expressing. She knew how it felt to just go and give up. That was where she almost was now, almost just about ready to sigh and start singing and never stop until she stopped forever. She'd even been given the first notes, not her usual but they'd do ("Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool?" "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!"). Jonah probably wouldn't have approved, but he might've understood maybe, and perhaps preferred it to other options. Max wouldn't have liked it one bit. That didn't matter because they were gone. Maybe if the dog was still here Darlene would've done it.
She could just about taste her heartbeat. All of a sudden the thicket she was nestled in felt like an incredibly, unbearably stupid place to be. She was tucked into this little hollow spot because the branches emanated from a central trunk, but deep down inside the light didn't reach well so there were no leaves, just poking scratching dead dry twigs, which gave her some mostly clear room to crouch. But those twigs pulled at Darlene's hair and scraped at her hands and bandages and the hole in the back of her shirt. Her knees were pressed into the dirt, which was moist soil which felt all of a sudden very crawly, like she was huddling in a nest of centipedes. It was too dark in here, and her eyes too adjusted to staring into the light at the now-departed goats, to make it out properly but there were some thick dark oblong shapes back by her left shoe that could be more twigs or seed pods but were probably horrible insect pupae. She was choking on the thud of her blood now, and then the girl looked directly straight at her and called out.
Darlene choked for real and coughed twice, loudly, as her saliva went down wrong, and all she could perceive was the saltiness and faint flavor of illness that came from a dry mouth and overactive sinuses draining. Her left hand clenched at the side of her head but that hurt enough to disincentivize continuing so she let it fall. She turned her head wildly back and forth in search of escape, but she hadn't thought about that at all ahead of time. She'd gotten into the bush by getting down flat to the ground and wriggling in from the same direction she'd been watching, which was the least dense, and the only way out was either back that way or else standing up and just bodily crushing her way out through an entire bush worth of branches, which she probably could not physically manage.
The first solution to this quandary that came to mind was to simply gun down the girl who had called—Amelia, a name that meant nothing to Darlene but what else was new?—from cover and then leisurely extract herself and depart at her convenience. But Darlene was not a good shot, as she'd seen last time she tried that, and if she just started shooting and the girl had the wherewithal to return fire then Darlene would be a sitting duck in this bush and would probably die right here and spend her very last seconds tangled up in spiky twigs while grubs and worms writhed against her face.
So, then, the situation called for diplomacy.
"I, um, I, Darlene," Darlene said, while still kind of choking a little, "I'm Darlene."
This felt safe because she hadn't been announced, but also she wasn't quite sure. She didn't know if Amelia had been announced. Not often enough to make an impression, at least, but Darlene kept the gun pointed from her hiding place within the bush just in case. down low where the light would not gleam off the metal.
"I'm coming out," she continued, "if it's okay?"
Amelia moved to get a better look at the person she saw in the bush. It was another girl, but not one whom she ever remembered seeing before. Not that that was any surprise. Amelia didn’t recognize anyone, really. All the people she could spot immediately in a crowd were either gone forever, or didn’t want to be with her. That thought made her jaw clench just a bit. Either way, this new person didn’t seem scary. Not like some of the strangers she’d seen here. She looked scared, really. Scared of Amelia? No, probably not.
Maybe she too, was just lost and alone.
The girl coughed a few times, and Amelia took a small step towards her in concern. But then the girl spoke, so her worry vanished as quickly as it came. Darlene. Not even the name rang any bells. Amelia tilted her head at the girl, as she seemed to struggle in her spot. Amelia ‘s eyes dropped down and finally spotted the gun in the girl’s hand, hidden in the shadows. The gun that was pointed at her. Amelia swallowed the lump that was suddenly in her throat.
But… she didn’t think she was scared.
‘What a bad girl, pointing that at you.’ Dolly’s voice rang out in her mind. Amelia felt the sweat begin to drip from her forehead, and her breathing begin to quicken.
No… She wasn’t a bad girl. Amelia had pointed her gun at people too, after all. But that was only when she was frightened. Frightened and alone. Darlene was all alone. Darlene was scared, just like Amelia was back then. It was alright. Amelia could help her, right? Amelia could make her not scared. Darlene spoke again, and Amelia lowered herself to a crouch, to look at the girl a bit easier.
Her legs were trembling, but it was okay.
“Are you stuck?” she asked, her voice as steady as she could keep it.
“Do you... do you need help?”
Maybe she too, was just lost and alone.
The girl coughed a few times, and Amelia took a small step towards her in concern. But then the girl spoke, so her worry vanished as quickly as it came. Darlene. Not even the name rang any bells. Amelia tilted her head at the girl, as she seemed to struggle in her spot. Amelia ‘s eyes dropped down and finally spotted the gun in the girl’s hand, hidden in the shadows. The gun that was pointed at her. Amelia swallowed the lump that was suddenly in her throat.
But… she didn’t think she was scared.
‘What a bad girl, pointing that at you.’ Dolly’s voice rang out in her mind. Amelia felt the sweat begin to drip from her forehead, and her breathing begin to quicken.
No… She wasn’t a bad girl. Amelia had pointed her gun at people too, after all. But that was only when she was frightened. Frightened and alone. Darlene was all alone. Darlene was scared, just like Amelia was back then. It was alright. Amelia could help her, right? Amelia could make her not scared. Darlene spoke again, and Amelia lowered herself to a crouch, to look at the girl a bit easier.
Her legs were trembling, but it was okay.
“Are you stuck?” she asked, her voice as steady as she could keep it.
“Do you... do you need help?”
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
"No," Darlene said as she shifted uncomfortably from side to side, preparing to exit her burrow, "I'm not, I'm fine."
The difficult part was that on her way in she'd had all the time she wanted and nothing to distract her or put her under pressure, and still it had taken a bit and the branches had grabbed at her. Now, she was trying to move more cautiously but also more quickly, while keeping the gun at the ready and yet at the same time out of sight. Her left hand was now holding the bag against the side of her body, trying to keep it from getting more tangled up in the bush, but the fiber that made up the strap was catching the rough parts and little loops of thread were pulling loose. Darlene's braid was probably all tangled and twisted and maybe full of cobwebs, and that thought just spurred her on with ever greater haste.
At least Amelia was close enough to see. From such a short distance, Darlene could recognize her, but only as a familiar face like she recognized most everyone. There were no specific memories of things Amelia had done or what she liked or whether she was nice or scary. But she was very thin and not too tall, and she looked almost fragile and sounded like a kid. That made Darlene just a little nervous but she couldn't put her finger on why.
She forced her way through the branches, and they pulled at her hair and face and she turned and one of the twigs went straight into her mouth, and she tasted bitty dusty grainy wood against her tongue, bark scraping along her teeth and she jerked back and almost fell over and almost pulled on the trigger of the gun but did neither of those things. She didn't even yelp, just stoically closed her mouth and her eyes and trusted for just a few seconds that Amelia would not attack her as she threw her weight into a surge of motion.
With a final, shuddering crash, Darlene squeezed out through the little gap at the base of the bush, pulling her bag out to catch up with her with an extra sharp tug. She stayed like that for a few long seconds, eyes still closed, mouth now open as she panted. The gun was not aimed at Amelia anymore—it was dumb not to probably but she couldn't do that and also get free so instead it was just in her right hand, pressed against the grass and dirt she was parked in, aimed off at an angle towards nothing whatsoever and no longer hidden in any way. Darlene's lungs burned and so did her cheeks, and her left hand went back to the bandages on her head right away to check them, but Jonah had done a good job and they'd had time to, well, not to heal but to stop bleeding mostly at least.
Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at the girl above her, who was tall enough she'd still be above Darlene some even if they were standing level, despite not being very tall at all. The thought quickly floated through her mind that she could really easily shoot Amelia here and it would be pretty hard to miss, or even maybe she could've pretended to need help after all and lured Amelia in and then shot her point-blank with nowhere to run, but looking at the girl those musings felt rather cruel and foolish because right now at least Amelia wasn't doing anything that merited shooting, and had even offered to help.
"I," Darlene started, "thanks, I... hi?"
The difficult part was that on her way in she'd had all the time she wanted and nothing to distract her or put her under pressure, and still it had taken a bit and the branches had grabbed at her. Now, she was trying to move more cautiously but also more quickly, while keeping the gun at the ready and yet at the same time out of sight. Her left hand was now holding the bag against the side of her body, trying to keep it from getting more tangled up in the bush, but the fiber that made up the strap was catching the rough parts and little loops of thread were pulling loose. Darlene's braid was probably all tangled and twisted and maybe full of cobwebs, and that thought just spurred her on with ever greater haste.
At least Amelia was close enough to see. From such a short distance, Darlene could recognize her, but only as a familiar face like she recognized most everyone. There were no specific memories of things Amelia had done or what she liked or whether she was nice or scary. But she was very thin and not too tall, and she looked almost fragile and sounded like a kid. That made Darlene just a little nervous but she couldn't put her finger on why.
She forced her way through the branches, and they pulled at her hair and face and she turned and one of the twigs went straight into her mouth, and she tasted bitty dusty grainy wood against her tongue, bark scraping along her teeth and she jerked back and almost fell over and almost pulled on the trigger of the gun but did neither of those things. She didn't even yelp, just stoically closed her mouth and her eyes and trusted for just a few seconds that Amelia would not attack her as she threw her weight into a surge of motion.
With a final, shuddering crash, Darlene squeezed out through the little gap at the base of the bush, pulling her bag out to catch up with her with an extra sharp tug. She stayed like that for a few long seconds, eyes still closed, mouth now open as she panted. The gun was not aimed at Amelia anymore—it was dumb not to probably but she couldn't do that and also get free so instead it was just in her right hand, pressed against the grass and dirt she was parked in, aimed off at an angle towards nothing whatsoever and no longer hidden in any way. Darlene's lungs burned and so did her cheeks, and her left hand went back to the bandages on her head right away to check them, but Jonah had done a good job and they'd had time to, well, not to heal but to stop bleeding mostly at least.
Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at the girl above her, who was tall enough she'd still be above Darlene some even if they were standing level, despite not being very tall at all. The thought quickly floated through her mind that she could really easily shoot Amelia here and it would be pretty hard to miss, or even maybe she could've pretended to need help after all and lured Amelia in and then shot her point-blank with nowhere to run, but looking at the girl those musings felt rather cruel and foolish because right now at least Amelia wasn't doing anything that merited shooting, and had even offered to help.
"I," Darlene started, "thanks, I... hi?"
Amelia waited patiently, watching as the girl struggled to extract herself from the bush. It was odd, she thought to herself. Why would she trap herself under there? Amelia wouldn’t have wanted to be stuck in such a place. Amelia saw the branches pulling on the other girl’s hair and scratching along her body as she struggled, and it made her feel bad for her. She didn’t ever like when she got scratched up. It must have hurt a bunch. She wondered whether she should try and help her anyway, even though she said she didn’t need it. But no, she didn’t want to overstep. Besides…
Darlene was still holding her gun.
Amelia’s hand instinctively reached for the zipper on her bag, but she stopped herself. The gun was too heavy… it made her feel scared. She didn’t want to go through that again. She didn’t want to make any more mistakes. Every time she held the gun, something bad seemed to happen. I should stay in the bag, where it couldn’t make her do bad things. She was being good now. She wasn’t going to be bad ever again.
Not ever.
Darlene finally escaped from the confines of the bush, and took a second to get her bearings. Amelia stood from her crouched position, and waited for the girl to do the same.
“Hello, miss Darlene. Are you okay now?” She tilted her head and smiled lightly. Now that she was looking at her fully, she thought she looked rather cute. She was smaller than Amelia, which she wasn’t used to. Most people were bigger than her. Well, at least most people she was used to. Though Christina was smaller than her too, now that she thought about it.
“Are you lost, too?”
Darlene was still holding her gun.
Amelia’s hand instinctively reached for the zipper on her bag, but she stopped herself. The gun was too heavy… it made her feel scared. She didn’t want to go through that again. She didn’t want to make any more mistakes. Every time she held the gun, something bad seemed to happen. I should stay in the bag, where it couldn’t make her do bad things. She was being good now. She wasn’t going to be bad ever again.
Not ever.
Darlene finally escaped from the confines of the bush, and took a second to get her bearings. Amelia stood from her crouched position, and waited for the girl to do the same.
“Hello, miss Darlene. Are you okay now?” She tilted her head and smiled lightly. Now that she was looking at her fully, she thought she looked rather cute. She was smaller than Amelia, which she wasn’t used to. Most people were bigger than her. Well, at least most people she was used to. Though Christina was smaller than her too, now that she thought about it.
“Are you lost, too?”
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
"Um," Darlene said, as she straightened herself up and brushed at the twigs and leaves and grass that clung to her shirt and skirt, "um, um."
There were actually not any cobwebs stuck in her hair, she could tell now, because when she ran the fingers of her left hand along her braid and scalp they came away kinda greasy because she hadn't had a bath in, oh, a week, and Darlene was the sort to sometimes skip a shower for a day or maybe even for two (if and only if she was just spending a whole weekend camped out in her room doing her own thing alone where nobody would realize if she smelled really gross!) but this was altogether too much. She was just lucky that people smell wasn't really a concern for anyone anymore. Everyone stank, and if it was alive-stink then that was okay. She didn't want to remember the mix of vomit and growing decay that had hung over the dead girl at the big house.
She didn't want to think about Max or Jonah or even mustache. She didn't want them to be anything other than how she'd left them. She wanted them to be sleeping forever, peaceful if that was possible, undisturbed by the nature all around them and immune to the passage of time.
"I'm, no, not exactly," Darlene explained.
She was shifting around a lot. It was hard to stay still, now that she was out in the open and thoroughly spotted. Her right arm wasn't too difficult to keep track of; it hung by her side with the gun in her hand, studiously pointed at the dirt and not at Amelia because there had been so many more than enough accidents. But Darlene leaned one way and then the other and rubbed at her face and clothes with her other hand as she spoke, and she did not keep good eye contact with the girl before her, instead glancing back and forth, taking in their surroundings, watching for signs of movement.
They were in a nice mostly grassy area, on a bit of a slope but the incline was so gentle it hardly felt like it. There were a few low bushes scattered around like the one Darlene had sheltered within, but hers was the biggest, as tall as she was almost and about half a car's length in width. The others sat tighter-packed, closer to the ground, and probably it would be harder to conceal herself in them but maybe safer too if their branches were denser, but also maybe more prone to spiders. The soil here was mostly hidden under waves of brownish green, broken here and there by small patches of weeds and wildflowers, some of the latter cropped low to the ground courtesy of the goats, which were by now nowhere to be seen.
"I was hiding," Darlene explained. It wouldn't hurt, right? Amelia seemed, okay, it was early to say but she seemed mostly alright? Probably?
"I was with some people but bad things happened," she explained.
Finally she met Amelia's gaze again, realizing she'd almost let a potentially-important thread slip through her fingers.
"Where were you trying to go?"
There were actually not any cobwebs stuck in her hair, she could tell now, because when she ran the fingers of her left hand along her braid and scalp they came away kinda greasy because she hadn't had a bath in, oh, a week, and Darlene was the sort to sometimes skip a shower for a day or maybe even for two (if and only if she was just spending a whole weekend camped out in her room doing her own thing alone where nobody would realize if she smelled really gross!) but this was altogether too much. She was just lucky that people smell wasn't really a concern for anyone anymore. Everyone stank, and if it was alive-stink then that was okay. She didn't want to remember the mix of vomit and growing decay that had hung over the dead girl at the big house.
She didn't want to think about Max or Jonah or even mustache. She didn't want them to be anything other than how she'd left them. She wanted them to be sleeping forever, peaceful if that was possible, undisturbed by the nature all around them and immune to the passage of time.
"I'm, no, not exactly," Darlene explained.
She was shifting around a lot. It was hard to stay still, now that she was out in the open and thoroughly spotted. Her right arm wasn't too difficult to keep track of; it hung by her side with the gun in her hand, studiously pointed at the dirt and not at Amelia because there had been so many more than enough accidents. But Darlene leaned one way and then the other and rubbed at her face and clothes with her other hand as she spoke, and she did not keep good eye contact with the girl before her, instead glancing back and forth, taking in their surroundings, watching for signs of movement.
They were in a nice mostly grassy area, on a bit of a slope but the incline was so gentle it hardly felt like it. There were a few low bushes scattered around like the one Darlene had sheltered within, but hers was the biggest, as tall as she was almost and about half a car's length in width. The others sat tighter-packed, closer to the ground, and probably it would be harder to conceal herself in them but maybe safer too if their branches were denser, but also maybe more prone to spiders. The soil here was mostly hidden under waves of brownish green, broken here and there by small patches of weeds and wildflowers, some of the latter cropped low to the ground courtesy of the goats, which were by now nowhere to be seen.
"I was hiding," Darlene explained. It wouldn't hurt, right? Amelia seemed, okay, it was early to say but she seemed mostly alright? Probably?
"I was with some people but bad things happened," she explained.
Finally she met Amelia's gaze again, realizing she'd almost let a potentially-important thread slip through her fingers.
"Where were you trying to go?"
Oh, Darlene wasn’t lost. That was good, right? Somehow, it made Amelia feel down, though. She was hoping they were in the same boat. Amelia was more lost than ever right now. She thought it would be nice to be with someone who felt the same. But, that didn’t mean Darlene wasn’t someone she could stay with for a while, right? It-it would be nice to be with people again. Forrest and Christina… she wondered if they hated her now. She shouldn’t have run away. She shouldn’t have left them. It’s exactly what she did when she lost Declyn. All she ever did was make mistakes. Her eyes drifted to the ground briefly before snapping back to look at Darlene. She was fidgeting. She looked nervous.
Amelia felt like she was looking in a mirror.
Perhaps she had found a kindred soul. Perhaps she found someone she could spend the end of her life with. They could lie to each other and tell themselves everything would work out until the end finally came. Then… then she could be with Declyn and Dolly again. She wrapped her arms around her midsection as a knot formed in her stomach. Thinking things like that made her so sad. Made her feel like her brain was hurting. Her arms started to tremble.
‘It’s alright. Everything’s alright.’ Dolly’s voice soothed her gently in her mind. Amelia took a deep breath, and focused back on Darlene.
“Yeah… Bad things happened for me, too.” She mumbled and sighed sadly. The girls finally locked eyes.
“I… don’t have anywhere left to go to.” Her bottom lip trembled. “Everyone left before me. I’m all alone now.”
Amelia tried to smile, but it was shaky and she couldn’t stop her face from contorting into a grimace.
“I’m just waiting for the end. Nobody left to find.”
Amelia felt like she was looking in a mirror.
Perhaps she had found a kindred soul. Perhaps she found someone she could spend the end of her life with. They could lie to each other and tell themselves everything would work out until the end finally came. Then… then she could be with Declyn and Dolly again. She wrapped her arms around her midsection as a knot formed in her stomach. Thinking things like that made her so sad. Made her feel like her brain was hurting. Her arms started to tremble.
‘It’s alright. Everything’s alright.’ Dolly’s voice soothed her gently in her mind. Amelia took a deep breath, and focused back on Darlene.
“Yeah… Bad things happened for me, too.” She mumbled and sighed sadly. The girls finally locked eyes.
“I… don’t have anywhere left to go to.” Her bottom lip trembled. “Everyone left before me. I’m all alone now.”
Amelia tried to smile, but it was shaky and she couldn’t stop her face from contorting into a grimace.
“I’m just waiting for the end. Nobody left to find.”
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
"Oh," Darlene said.
Maybe she should've shot Amelia after all?
She was mostly used to the idea that shooting people was a bad thing—in the context of all of her life until now, obviously, but also even just in this particular situation—but maybe things weren't always quite so clear-cut. This wasn't a big accident like with Beryl, or taking a shot at someone dangerous like with the chainsaw killer at the lake, but Amelia sounded so sad and lost that somehow making that pain stop seemed more justifiable, even if the shooting would be way more sudden and she deserved it way less. Or, or maybe what she deserved less was the hurting? Maybe she deserved rest more.
It didn't really matter, though. Darlene could get ready and hype herself up to possibly consider shooting someone when she was scared and full of mistrust, but that was mostly not there with Amelia. Even the girl's weird quirks, things that had thrown her just seconds ago (like when Amelia called her "Miss Darlene" like she was a teacher or forty years old or something!) now just felt like strange little wrinkles in a girl who was already dead.
It made Darlene really sad somehow. It was the difference between them. Amelia was lost because she had nothing left. She was lost and would never be un-lost (found? That didn't sound right). But not Darlene. Darlene was hiding.
She was hiding from Arizona, because she felt terrible because Arizona had trusted her and welcomed her (or at least put up with her and been nice enough) and then she'd gone and let Jonah die, because maybe if she'd been paying more attention or had just started shooting the very second Michael had shown his face Jonah wouldn't have died, even if it cost Darlene her life.
She was hiding from the killers and the scary people and the other unknowable dangers of the island, even though they could never be escaped forever, because it was easier and slightly less terrifying. If she'd just stayed hiding way at the very start, or when she was with Max and Stephanie, she would've never suffered like she had. Maybe she would already be gone but it would've hurt less.
She was hiding from death, just as a general broad concept. Even now Darlene couldn't really quite think about it head-on, which made it easier to tell herself she was okay with it, especially since other things were scarier, but it crept closer every second and she was afraid and didn't want it to find her.
She was hiding from herself.
Darlene's ratty shoes were making a little hole in the dirt right in front of where she was standing. The grass was all pushed around and torn up and her brown shoes were browner than usual because they had a bunch of soil rubbed into them, with some green highlights where the green stuff in grass (she wanted to say chlorophyll but had absolutely no confidence in that recollection) was smeared in. She winced a little when her left fingers touched the wrong part of the gauze on her head and jostled the torn up part of her ear, hidden beneath all the padding. She sniffled but not too deep so she wouldn't choke on snot again.
She couldn't even hold the eye contact for ten seconds. She hadn't even realized she'd looked away, or that she'd fallen silent. It was something she'd done a whole lot back at school and it was safer and more comfortable but it felt real unfair to Amelia right now, because she wouldn't know what Darlene meant by it.
"I'm sorry," she said. And then after another pause, "I don't think I have anyone left to look—to find either."
Maybe she should've shot Amelia after all?
She was mostly used to the idea that shooting people was a bad thing—in the context of all of her life until now, obviously, but also even just in this particular situation—but maybe things weren't always quite so clear-cut. This wasn't a big accident like with Beryl, or taking a shot at someone dangerous like with the chainsaw killer at the lake, but Amelia sounded so sad and lost that somehow making that pain stop seemed more justifiable, even if the shooting would be way more sudden and she deserved it way less. Or, or maybe what she deserved less was the hurting? Maybe she deserved rest more.
It didn't really matter, though. Darlene could get ready and hype herself up to possibly consider shooting someone when she was scared and full of mistrust, but that was mostly not there with Amelia. Even the girl's weird quirks, things that had thrown her just seconds ago (like when Amelia called her "Miss Darlene" like she was a teacher or forty years old or something!) now just felt like strange little wrinkles in a girl who was already dead.
It made Darlene really sad somehow. It was the difference between them. Amelia was lost because she had nothing left. She was lost and would never be un-lost (found? That didn't sound right). But not Darlene. Darlene was hiding.
She was hiding from Arizona, because she felt terrible because Arizona had trusted her and welcomed her (or at least put up with her and been nice enough) and then she'd gone and let Jonah die, because maybe if she'd been paying more attention or had just started shooting the very second Michael had shown his face Jonah wouldn't have died, even if it cost Darlene her life.
She was hiding from the killers and the scary people and the other unknowable dangers of the island, even though they could never be escaped forever, because it was easier and slightly less terrifying. If she'd just stayed hiding way at the very start, or when she was with Max and Stephanie, she would've never suffered like she had. Maybe she would already be gone but it would've hurt less.
She was hiding from death, just as a general broad concept. Even now Darlene couldn't really quite think about it head-on, which made it easier to tell herself she was okay with it, especially since other things were scarier, but it crept closer every second and she was afraid and didn't want it to find her.
She was hiding from herself.
Darlene's ratty shoes were making a little hole in the dirt right in front of where she was standing. The grass was all pushed around and torn up and her brown shoes were browner than usual because they had a bunch of soil rubbed into them, with some green highlights where the green stuff in grass (she wanted to say chlorophyll but had absolutely no confidence in that recollection) was smeared in. She winced a little when her left fingers touched the wrong part of the gauze on her head and jostled the torn up part of her ear, hidden beneath all the padding. She sniffled but not too deep so she wouldn't choke on snot again.
She couldn't even hold the eye contact for ten seconds. She hadn't even realized she'd looked away, or that she'd fallen silent. It was something she'd done a whole lot back at school and it was safer and more comfortable but it felt real unfair to Amelia right now, because she wouldn't know what Darlene meant by it.
"I'm sorry," she said. And then after another pause, "I don't think I have anyone left to look—to find either."
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
Darlene's tongue felt thick behind her teeth. She wanted to run it over the front of them, back and forth until they were all smooth again. It was a thing she'd done a lot as a kid, because somehow it always felt like the fronts of her teeth got gummy, but she'd managed to stamp the habit out, unlike so many other unconscious little mannerisms. She always felt like it bulged her lips out and made her look like a fish, or like she was chewing a big old wad of tobacco. Her grandmother had told her that once, and she'd promised herself she'd never do it ever again.
She wished she had something better to say to Amelia. She wished she knew what she was doing, and that she could somehow help the girl before her, or be helped by her, or just... do something. Even shooting would be something, but Darlene couldn't quite find her way to that place.
What was so different about this when compared to Stephanie?
The thought came unbidden in the seconds after her speech, but it was a little unsettling. Was it that Darlene knew what it was like herself, now? Would she have greeted Stephanie with open arms, without even needing the prompting of Max or the imaginary guidance of Jonah, had their paths crossed today?
Or was Amelia less threatening because she wasn't quite so put together and pretty?
She wished she had something better to say to Amelia. She wished she knew what she was doing, and that she could somehow help the girl before her, or be helped by her, or just... do something. Even shooting would be something, but Darlene couldn't quite find her way to that place.
What was so different about this when compared to Stephanie?
The thought came unbidden in the seconds after her speech, but it was a little unsettling. Was it that Darlene knew what it was like herself, now? Would she have greeted Stephanie with open arms, without even needing the prompting of Max or the imaginary guidance of Jonah, had their paths crossed today?
Or was Amelia less threatening because she wasn't quite so put together and pretty?
Yeah. ‘Oh’ was most definitely the only reaction she expected. When you tell someone you’re just waiting to finally die, what else could they say? Amelia knew she’d never leave this place. She knew that this was going to be the end of everything. But, that was alright. She wouldn’t be alone anymore, at least. Dolly and Declyn and everyone else who was gone would be with her again when it was all over. They would come to take her away from all this. That was the only thing that kept her going. The only thing that stopped from trying to hide.
Why hide when there was nothing to fear anymore.
She’d already lost everything.
Her life wasn’t worth fighting anymore.
Darlene apologized. Amelia didn’t understand why. Amelia wasn’t sorry anymore. She didn’t have any anger left. Any fear. Any resentment. She was simply existing until the time came where she no longer had to. There was nothing to apologize for. It was none of their faults. Darlene was also alone, also had no one left to find. Amelia had been right. They were the same. Two girls lost with no path forward. Stagnant.
“Then… Maybe we can stay together?” She asked with a small smile.
Amelia wouldn’t mind some company. Someone to witness the end of her life. Someone she could touch and who could make her forget it was coming. If only for a few moments. That would be enough, probably.
“Miss Darlene, please stay with me until the end.” She reached out her hand, offering it to the other girl.
“I’d appreciate it.”
Why hide when there was nothing to fear anymore.
She’d already lost everything.
Her life wasn’t worth fighting anymore.
Darlene apologized. Amelia didn’t understand why. Amelia wasn’t sorry anymore. She didn’t have any anger left. Any fear. Any resentment. She was simply existing until the time came where she no longer had to. There was nothing to apologize for. It was none of their faults. Darlene was also alone, also had no one left to find. Amelia had been right. They were the same. Two girls lost with no path forward. Stagnant.
“Then… Maybe we can stay together?” She asked with a small smile.
Amelia wouldn’t mind some company. Someone to witness the end of her life. Someone she could touch and who could make her forget it was coming. If only for a few moments. That would be enough, probably.
“Miss Darlene, please stay with me until the end.” She reached out her hand, offering it to the other girl.
“I’d appreciate it.”
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
No. No way!
That was what Darlene was screaming in her head, as the conversation took a big huge giant swerve in a direction that she hadn't really been expecting and certainly was not immediately prepared to agree to.
And the funny thing was, it was only disagreeable because she'd been asked.
Amelia seemed okay, generally. Not okay in terms of her demeanor; obviously she was totally messed up by everything she'd seen and experienced. She was broken and adrift, but Darlene could get that, generally. That wasn't that scary or strange, not compared to everything else she'd seen. It was sad, mostly, the sort of thing that made Darlene wish she could do something to make things better even though all she could think of was to press the gun softly to the back of the girl's skull—wait, was it the back? Where was the best spot to make it really quick and sure?—and pull the trigger. But setting that aside, she had thus far been good company. They could have moved along, alone together, and it would've been fine. They would've just fallen into a routine.
But making it explicit like that, and with those specific words? That freaked Darlene out quite a lot! All the little pieces that were kind of weird but possible to ignore became very weird indeed once again. "Miss Darlene" was weird. It made her sound like she was from 1920! And those words, "the end," that sounded more than just a bit ominous.
Darlene's mind jumped three different ways at once.
Part of it, the terrified and weak part, said to just agree and do whatever she could to keep Amelia placated, just in case the girl was unstable and suddenly became dangerous as well. They would travel together and together they would wait for the end, whatever that was, and maybe it would be okay after all? It would be okay if they just got along, right? There would be no danger if there was no conflict. Maybe she was misunderstanding, letting herself get scared by her own trauma into seeing bad things where there were none.
Another side, the side that had made so many mistakes already, also told her to agree, but in a different way and for a different reason. Alright, this Darlene would say, yes, very well, I will stay with you until the end. She would beam, tears flowing from her eyes, and hold out her arms for an embrace, which was something she never ever did with anyone, and Amelia would race up and squeeze her tight, and Darlene would get on her tiptoes and run her fingers through Amelia's hair and then just sort of casually bring the gun to the back of her head or whatever the right spot was, and she'd be keeping her promise even, there until the end, right?
But the first option was too passive, too risky, meant throwing her fate entirely to the whims of others. And the second was also too risky for the opposite reason, requiring her to take direct immediate conscious decisive action, which she was terrible at. She was even terrible at getting her words together quickly; she'd been frozen for a couple seconds already.
Fortunately, the third side of Darlene was there to help out. It was a part not many people even knew was around, a part that she didn't show off all that often, one people didn't expect from her with the way she walked around in big bulky sweaters and smudged glasses and tripped over her words. But it was right there, just waiting for the right moment, which was now.
Darlene was actually pretty crafty when she had to be.
"Maybe," she half-yelped, before she took a deep breath, another, let herself start to calm down. Her twitchy movements subsided a bit, reduced to just the way she rocked her foot side to side within her shoe.
"I, um, I don't mind," she continued, "just, uh, if you don't have anything specific, can we... can we hide maybe?"
Her eyes glanced around, scanning the area from behind her smudged up glasses which felt like they'd been clean for once just a little ago. She took in the rolling hills, the place where the goats had vanished, the thick bushes small and large, finally settling on the one she'd been in.
"I just don't want someone bad to catch us," she explained, "and I was thinking, if, uh, if we go back in—there's a lot of room really, you only saw me because, because I was coming out to see what was happening, you're so skinny if you go in and then I pass you my bags and then I can come in and we'll just rest there overnight, I haven't slept in a while, and then we can go somewhere better in the morning."
Darlene nodded decisively, beaming at the plan she'd laid out.
That was what Darlene was screaming in her head, as the conversation took a big huge giant swerve in a direction that she hadn't really been expecting and certainly was not immediately prepared to agree to.
And the funny thing was, it was only disagreeable because she'd been asked.
Amelia seemed okay, generally. Not okay in terms of her demeanor; obviously she was totally messed up by everything she'd seen and experienced. She was broken and adrift, but Darlene could get that, generally. That wasn't that scary or strange, not compared to everything else she'd seen. It was sad, mostly, the sort of thing that made Darlene wish she could do something to make things better even though all she could think of was to press the gun softly to the back of the girl's skull—wait, was it the back? Where was the best spot to make it really quick and sure?—and pull the trigger. But setting that aside, she had thus far been good company. They could have moved along, alone together, and it would've been fine. They would've just fallen into a routine.
But making it explicit like that, and with those specific words? That freaked Darlene out quite a lot! All the little pieces that were kind of weird but possible to ignore became very weird indeed once again. "Miss Darlene" was weird. It made her sound like she was from 1920! And those words, "the end," that sounded more than just a bit ominous.
Darlene's mind jumped three different ways at once.
Part of it, the terrified and weak part, said to just agree and do whatever she could to keep Amelia placated, just in case the girl was unstable and suddenly became dangerous as well. They would travel together and together they would wait for the end, whatever that was, and maybe it would be okay after all? It would be okay if they just got along, right? There would be no danger if there was no conflict. Maybe she was misunderstanding, letting herself get scared by her own trauma into seeing bad things where there were none.
Another side, the side that had made so many mistakes already, also told her to agree, but in a different way and for a different reason. Alright, this Darlene would say, yes, very well, I will stay with you until the end. She would beam, tears flowing from her eyes, and hold out her arms for an embrace, which was something she never ever did with anyone, and Amelia would race up and squeeze her tight, and Darlene would get on her tiptoes and run her fingers through Amelia's hair and then just sort of casually bring the gun to the back of her head or whatever the right spot was, and she'd be keeping her promise even, there until the end, right?
But the first option was too passive, too risky, meant throwing her fate entirely to the whims of others. And the second was also too risky for the opposite reason, requiring her to take direct immediate conscious decisive action, which she was terrible at. She was even terrible at getting her words together quickly; she'd been frozen for a couple seconds already.
Fortunately, the third side of Darlene was there to help out. It was a part not many people even knew was around, a part that she didn't show off all that often, one people didn't expect from her with the way she walked around in big bulky sweaters and smudged glasses and tripped over her words. But it was right there, just waiting for the right moment, which was now.
Darlene was actually pretty crafty when she had to be.
"Maybe," she half-yelped, before she took a deep breath, another, let herself start to calm down. Her twitchy movements subsided a bit, reduced to just the way she rocked her foot side to side within her shoe.
"I, um, I don't mind," she continued, "just, uh, if you don't have anything specific, can we... can we hide maybe?"
Her eyes glanced around, scanning the area from behind her smudged up glasses which felt like they'd been clean for once just a little ago. She took in the rolling hills, the place where the goats had vanished, the thick bushes small and large, finally settling on the one she'd been in.
"I just don't want someone bad to catch us," she explained, "and I was thinking, if, uh, if we go back in—there's a lot of room really, you only saw me because, because I was coming out to see what was happening, you're so skinny if you go in and then I pass you my bags and then I can come in and we'll just rest there overnight, I haven't slept in a while, and then we can go somewhere better in the morning."
Darlene nodded decisively, beaming at the plan she'd laid out.
Amelia waited with bated breath for the other girl’s answer. Amelia needed to hear the girl agree, and she was sure she would. After all, they were the same, right? Both just two lost people who had nothing left. No fight in them. Resigned to their shared fate. It made sense. Amelia could see it. They could stay together and be eachother’s replacement for everything they’d lost. For the people they were supposed to die alongside but who had left them here to suffer alone. They could just wait for it to be over in a fake dream of happiness.
That would be their salvation.
Darlene was the same. Darlene wanted it too. A reason to matter again, even just for a few fleeting minutes. Amelia knew. Dolly was wrong. She wasn’t bad. The others, the other people who were left, most of them had gone bad. Amelia could see. Their eyes told her so. Violet had gone bad. Darlene’s eyes were still good. Still safe. Amelia needed her eyes. She needed to be able to look at them and pretend she was still okay. Like any minute they would wake up and it would all have been a bad dream. Amelia needed that more than anything else.
When the world was bad you had to convince yourself it wasn’t.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime Darlene spoke again. And Amelia felt her face light up with joy. Yes! She knew it was real. She knew that she hadn’t been wrong. Darlene was what she needed. Who she needed. The perfect person to take their place in this game of pretend. It made everything that came next feel easier. Death would come, but until then she could convince herself that it never would.
Darlene would make sure. Make sure that was easy.
Hiding Amelia could do. If that’s what Darlene wanted, then that’s exactly what she would do. She nodded enthusiastically, and dropped down to her hands and knees to begin her descent into the bush without a word. She could prove how useful she was. She could show Darlene she made the right choice. That Amelia was the best person to see the end of the world with. She pushed her way through the branches and twigs, her arms and face getting scratched up and her hair being pulled by the bush. Still, she did her best, digging herself in until she felt herself unable to go any further. She let out a small sound of distress, feeling herself all of a sudden stuck in her position.
“U-um, Miss Darlene?” She asked, her voice searching for the other girl.
“I-I think I’m stuck.” No response.
“H-Hello…?” Still nothing. She lay still and listened. Ll she could hear was her own breathing.
No. That wasn’t right.
“Hello?! Miss Darlene?!” She began to shout, her voice growing more paranoid as she began to struggle in the bush.
“Hello?!” She called, her body pulling and twisting, fighting desperately all of a sudden to break free from the bush’s grip. The air started to feel thin, as if she couldn’t breathe, and the lack of mobility in her limbs caused her to panic beyond any rational thinking.
She didn’t know how long it took her to free herself. It could have been minutes, maybe hours. Her fear was all she knew. Fear she thought had finally left. Fear she thought she abandoned. When she did finally manage to pull herself from the bush, she was alone. A small sob escaped her trembling lips as she sat in the dirt alone. Again. Why? Darlene was supposed to be a kindred spirit.
Why?
‘I told you. Such a bad girl.’ Amelia looked up as Dolly’s voice echoed in her ears. Her eyes were wild and crusted red and raw.
“Yes…” She muttered under her breath.
“You’re always right, Dolly.”
[Amelia Fischer Continued In Star Light, Star Bright]
That would be their salvation.
Darlene was the same. Darlene wanted it too. A reason to matter again, even just for a few fleeting minutes. Amelia knew. Dolly was wrong. She wasn’t bad. The others, the other people who were left, most of them had gone bad. Amelia could see. Their eyes told her so. Violet had gone bad. Darlene’s eyes were still good. Still safe. Amelia needed her eyes. She needed to be able to look at them and pretend she was still okay. Like any minute they would wake up and it would all have been a bad dream. Amelia needed that more than anything else.
When the world was bad you had to convince yourself it wasn’t.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime Darlene spoke again. And Amelia felt her face light up with joy. Yes! She knew it was real. She knew that she hadn’t been wrong. Darlene was what she needed. Who she needed. The perfect person to take their place in this game of pretend. It made everything that came next feel easier. Death would come, but until then she could convince herself that it never would.
Darlene would make sure. Make sure that was easy.
Hiding Amelia could do. If that’s what Darlene wanted, then that’s exactly what she would do. She nodded enthusiastically, and dropped down to her hands and knees to begin her descent into the bush without a word. She could prove how useful she was. She could show Darlene she made the right choice. That Amelia was the best person to see the end of the world with. She pushed her way through the branches and twigs, her arms and face getting scratched up and her hair being pulled by the bush. Still, she did her best, digging herself in until she felt herself unable to go any further. She let out a small sound of distress, feeling herself all of a sudden stuck in her position.
“U-um, Miss Darlene?” She asked, her voice searching for the other girl.
“I-I think I’m stuck.” No response.
“H-Hello…?” Still nothing. She lay still and listened. Ll she could hear was her own breathing.
No. That wasn’t right.
“Hello?! Miss Darlene?!” She began to shout, her voice growing more paranoid as she began to struggle in the bush.
“Hello?!” She called, her body pulling and twisting, fighting desperately all of a sudden to break free from the bush’s grip. The air started to feel thin, as if she couldn’t breathe, and the lack of mobility in her limbs caused her to panic beyond any rational thinking.
She didn’t know how long it took her to free herself. It could have been minutes, maybe hours. Her fear was all she knew. Fear she thought had finally left. Fear she thought she abandoned. When she did finally manage to pull herself from the bush, she was alone. A small sob escaped her trembling lips as she sat in the dirt alone. Again. Why? Darlene was supposed to be a kindred spirit.
Why?
‘I told you. Such a bad girl.’ Amelia looked up as Dolly’s voice echoed in her ears. Her eyes were wild and crusted red and raw.
“Yes…” She muttered under her breath.
“You’re always right, Dolly.”
[Amelia Fischer Continued In Star Light, Star Bright]
- MurderWeasel
- Posts: 2566
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:37 am
As Amelia immediately turned and started to wriggle her way into the bush, for a single moment Darlene felt just a little bit bad.
Because, of course, there was no big spacious comfy chamber hiding somewhere just out of sight. In actuality there were dense branches and pokey rocks and probably ants and spiders. There was barely room to breath, let alone to sit up straight. It was a horrible place. Darlene knew, because she'd been hiding in it a long time! And she was smaller than Amelia and maybe—probably—better at getting into tight spaces. It was like back at the auditorium, when she'd hid from the comedy show by squeezing between the seats. She couldn't imagine Amelia doing that.
So then, the real reason Amelia was crawling into the thorny thicket was that it would hold her attention for a while and make it very very difficult for her to cause any trouble while Darlene got the heck out of here!
There was this thought that crept up to the front of Darlene's mind that she maybe didn't actually have to leave, though. Because Amelia was distracted and being held in a pretty tight embrace by the bush and Darlene had the revolver still in her hand. That would be easier than the ambush of the chainsaw boy, right? Just pull the trigger a few times and she wouldn't even have to look at it. It'd all be hidden away behind the leaves, out of sight out of mind.
Darlene got as far as pointing the gun and pulling back the hammer before she thought about Jonah. She remembered the bullets from nowhere, the way blood had bloomed from his shirt like the flowers all around them, how he hadn't died immediately but had to have been in agony. If she shot now, that was what Amelia would be getting, too, with a side order of betrayal, and she had turned out to be creepy and weird but did that make her deserve such a fate? Not really. And Jonah wouldn't want it at all, and neither would Max. It was the sort of thing they'd put Kelly on trial for, and the girl hadn't done anything bad since, right, so would that make Darlene even worse than her? And also, what if she missed even with the close range and restraint? She couldn't really see in the bush. What if Amelia got out a gun and shot back from cover?
This chain of thought, the pointing of the gun, it had taken two or three seconds that Darlene absolutely did not have to spare.
As she realized this, as the crackle of movement among the branches started to grow louder and more frantic, Darlene's breathing picked up and she felt her heart pounding all through her body, making her torn up ear throb again. The hand holding the gun fell to her side and then quickly tucked the weapon away in the bag , and Darlene spun and broke into a sprint.
She wasn't even paying attention to her direction, just focusing on building up speed. It would take Amelia time to get out. It would be hard to turn around and hard to get free and that was just what Darlene had intended and now her part was to be long gone by the time the girl struggled loose. Even if Amelia was livid about getting tricked it wouldn't matter because she wouldn't be able to do anything because she wouldn't know where Darlene had gone.
The ragged toe of Darlene's left sneaker suddenly caught on a thick little patch of weedy wildflowers, partially chewed up by the long-departed goats, and she wiped out, flailing her arms in front of her helplessly and absorbing only a bit of the impact with her limbs before she belly-flopped against the grass. She yelped and coughed and felt the tears spring into her eyes as the wind was knocked out of her, and for a couple of seconds she just lay there in the dirt, feeling the pain the tumble raised in all the hurt parts of her body, echoes of the bad things that had happened to her before.
But she couldn't stay. Amelia would get out and she would be absolutely totally furious, and she wouldn't even be wrong to be! So Darlene gathered herself and pulled her bag closer and shoved her way up to her feet and set off in a slightly slower, slightly wobblier run, her gaze now flitting between the world in front of her and the ground she was running over.
Destination: anywhere but here.
((Darlene Silva continued in all i ever asked is keep it 8 more than 92 with me))
Because, of course, there was no big spacious comfy chamber hiding somewhere just out of sight. In actuality there were dense branches and pokey rocks and probably ants and spiders. There was barely room to breath, let alone to sit up straight. It was a horrible place. Darlene knew, because she'd been hiding in it a long time! And she was smaller than Amelia and maybe—probably—better at getting into tight spaces. It was like back at the auditorium, when she'd hid from the comedy show by squeezing between the seats. She couldn't imagine Amelia doing that.
So then, the real reason Amelia was crawling into the thorny thicket was that it would hold her attention for a while and make it very very difficult for her to cause any trouble while Darlene got the heck out of here!
There was this thought that crept up to the front of Darlene's mind that she maybe didn't actually have to leave, though. Because Amelia was distracted and being held in a pretty tight embrace by the bush and Darlene had the revolver still in her hand. That would be easier than the ambush of the chainsaw boy, right? Just pull the trigger a few times and she wouldn't even have to look at it. It'd all be hidden away behind the leaves, out of sight out of mind.
Darlene got as far as pointing the gun and pulling back the hammer before she thought about Jonah. She remembered the bullets from nowhere, the way blood had bloomed from his shirt like the flowers all around them, how he hadn't died immediately but had to have been in agony. If she shot now, that was what Amelia would be getting, too, with a side order of betrayal, and she had turned out to be creepy and weird but did that make her deserve such a fate? Not really. And Jonah wouldn't want it at all, and neither would Max. It was the sort of thing they'd put Kelly on trial for, and the girl hadn't done anything bad since, right, so would that make Darlene even worse than her? And also, what if she missed even with the close range and restraint? She couldn't really see in the bush. What if Amelia got out a gun and shot back from cover?
This chain of thought, the pointing of the gun, it had taken two or three seconds that Darlene absolutely did not have to spare.
As she realized this, as the crackle of movement among the branches started to grow louder and more frantic, Darlene's breathing picked up and she felt her heart pounding all through her body, making her torn up ear throb again. The hand holding the gun fell to her side and then quickly tucked the weapon away in the bag , and Darlene spun and broke into a sprint.
She wasn't even paying attention to her direction, just focusing on building up speed. It would take Amelia time to get out. It would be hard to turn around and hard to get free and that was just what Darlene had intended and now her part was to be long gone by the time the girl struggled loose. Even if Amelia was livid about getting tricked it wouldn't matter because she wouldn't be able to do anything because she wouldn't know where Darlene had gone.
The ragged toe of Darlene's left sneaker suddenly caught on a thick little patch of weedy wildflowers, partially chewed up by the long-departed goats, and she wiped out, flailing her arms in front of her helplessly and absorbing only a bit of the impact with her limbs before she belly-flopped against the grass. She yelped and coughed and felt the tears spring into her eyes as the wind was knocked out of her, and for a couple of seconds she just lay there in the dirt, feeling the pain the tumble raised in all the hurt parts of her body, echoes of the bad things that had happened to her before.
But she couldn't stay. Amelia would get out and she would be absolutely totally furious, and she wouldn't even be wrong to be! So Darlene gathered herself and pulled her bag closer and shoved her way up to her feet and set off in a slightly slower, slightly wobblier run, her gaze now flitting between the world in front of her and the ground she was running over.
Destination: anywhere but here.
((Darlene Silva continued in all i ever asked is keep it 8 more than 92 with me))