All It Is Is Things That Happen to You

[Sunnybunny]

Ah.

Gun makes right.

"I don't want to kill you. I can't kill you."

It meant she had all his attention.

"Why should I try to go home?"

Maybe now, he could see her clear again.

"You guys were my-"

It was all over but the crying. But crying meant she lost, and if she lost Thomas won, and if he won he would die.

"Why is the thought of spending two more days alive, alive with me, alive to eat Cheez-its and kiss and joke, why does it make you so angry?"

[Catche Jagger]

Those words reached him, alright. They made sense, were clear as crystal.

Why? Why did he get angry?

He opened his mouth, to speak, but words did not come to him just yet.

What was wrong with him, that he wasn’t on her side, that he was fighting her?

“I’m not- I… you… I’m not a-angry about the thought of being with you, it’s-!” He stopped himself again.

“It’s not about… fuck. It’s not about any of that, what we want. Those two days, even if there were two days, it’s not...” Another halt. Half-thoughts, half-arguments spun around in his head so fast it made him feel dizzy, made him feel sick.

What are you doing?

He didn’t know

What do you want?

He wanted to do the thing that he knew he should do.

What should you do?



When something finally did come forth, uninterrupted, almost involuntary, alongside the tears.

“Sukurako, I want to live! I want to go home! I want to see my fucking family again! I want to not be their fuck up do nothing kid that got taken in a fucking freak kidnapping and whose death got broadcast all over the world!

“I can’t even fucking think and- fuck I feel sick. I just- shit, maybe… God, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m trying to do something that scares the shit out of me because I seems kind of right?” He was starting to ask her. That isn’t what he wanted, but it was hard, with every word burning his throat.

He was shivering.

“That’s all I am now, I think? Just scared and hurting and slow? But,like, maybe I have the chance to make sure the person on this Island- you know, the person on this island that I love get to live, give her a chance at having, God, a fucking life?”

Thomas sniffled, let out a shaky breath, then took one in.

“Maybe then it means something? Maybe then I do something good instead of being fucking name for Justin.” The venom in his voice returned for the name.

Thomas had wanted to live too. He hadn’t fucking ruined people to do it, though. Right?

The boy found that his gaze had drifted from Sakurako as he babbled. Slowly, he returned his eyes to hers, not sure what would come.

[Sunnybunny]

He broke down.

It was heavy, listening. Crushing.

His thoughts very nearly echoed hers, even down to going home. The City. Going to open mic nights and being too nervous to try her own material. The river. Being dragged around by Zee and Yuka-chan at the mall.

Watching the gap between her parents grow.

Not knowing who she really was, being afraid of what she really wanted.

Not being good enough.

"You're being a real Captain Save-a-Hoe right now, you know?" The tinkling song of a music box, near the end of it's tune. "But more than anything, I-"

Don't want you to feel like me.

"I wish Sean was here as a tiebreaker vote. I wish the plan had worked and we were saved. Hell, I wish we had gone to the fucking Walnut Street Bridge for our senior trip."

Living in her head had always been so lonely.

None of this was fair.

"You do be good. I mean, you're... you don't have to do this to matter. You always did."

All this, and she didn't start crying until he looked back at her.

"It's been a dream being a fuck up with you."

[Catche Jagger]

After all that, she still managed to make him laugh. Thomas was still crying, still had tears coming down, but she’d gotten a laugh out of him.

“Yeah… Thank you.” Was all he could manage to say, all he could think to say. Getting too eloquent risked him getting upset all over again. Hell, the boy had already opened up the Pandora’s Box of thinking about home, and now he was just trying not to fixate on the idea of his mom or dad or brother watching him scream and cry and die.

So, he focused back on Sakurako, his friend, his girlfriend, all that jazz.

“And for the record, I, um, I’m pretty sure Sean would be on your side.” Thomas took another deep breath, trying and failing to steady himself. Fuck, why couldn’t he just stop being scared?

It was because he was dying, obviously.

The boy tried to think of what to add. Should he say that he wished they had more time? That he’d said how he felt back when they both would have lives to look forward to? There were regrets aplenty to add to hers.

Instead, he rose to his knees, shuffled over and wrapped her in a hug. Thomas winced, feeling a pain down his shoulder and arm as he did, but he managed to keep his mouth shut and pushed through. It took a fair bit of effort not to just topple over onto her, but he held on.

And he stayed there for a few moments, feeling her breathing and his own. It calmed him a bit, up until the point when it felt like he would start sobbing again.

“I do- I really do love you, you know. You are really, like, the best person I know. I just- Can… will you please do this? If you don’t want to do it for you, can you do it for me?” As he finally spoke up, he let go of her, letting out a grunt as he slipped back onto his ass.

[Sunnybunny]

His laughter did a lot for her, making her smile wide when she was sure it could never happen again. So did the imagined vote of confidence from Sean, and yeah, maybe together they could have made an argument he couldn't refuse.

But she was just one person.

When he hugged her, it pushed her arms downwards and she didn't fight it. No firing on the camera, got it. Being held felt so warm and good than she could almost forget what it was for. The task she'd been given.

The slack in her frame was Sakurako's response to his loving her, her unseen expression serene. Not only did she love him, she liked him. Not only did she like him, she might have fal-

"Okay."

She leaned forward, kissing his sweet mouth until she was out of breath. Then his cheeks. Forehead. Chin. Then she started to scuttle backwards, a demented crab dragging a limb.

"D-do you wanna like turn around or something?"

It was a quivering voice, and it wouldn't do. She had to be calm, cool and collected for Thomas's sake... in other words, for the first time since she'd arrived here, she had to act.

Even if all she wanted to hear was him telling her it didn't have to go down like this.

[Catche Jagger]

They kissed. Thomas hadn’t gone for that, considering he was all red-faced and teary-eyed , but Sakurako did it for him and he was once again extremely grateful to her.

“Okay.” His reply was the same as hers.

She was going to do it.

It was going to happen.

Thomas felt himself getting tense all over again, any good done by their intimacy being overridden by the return of reality to the proceedings.

“Um, no. No, I’m just going to- I want to stay present and stuff.” He nodded resting up against the tree once again, starting to think that the offer might have been for her benefit as well. "I-I can close my eyes though.” He made sure to quickly add.

He shuffled a bit, trying to get comfortable for some reason that he couldn’t reasonably explain.

“T-thank you, I love you... a-and please stay safe.” He said, before slowly closing his eyes and waiting, feeling his fingers tense, his knees tremble.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

[Sunnybunny]

"Yeah, if you could. Oh, and take off your glasses cause I... you don't want to hit a guy with glasses, you know?"

So much for stoicism. But her silly sentiment had practical importance, she was nervous about them shattering in his face if she screwed up the shot.

Wait.

This was her first time. Firing a gun, period. There was a joke here about Thomas and first times and screwing her, but time and place.

It was a struggle to get on her good leg's knee for this, and it hurt. Stumble, fall. Stumble, groan, don't cry.

Weebles wobble, but eventually they get in a stable position.

Sakurako knelt like Sean had before her, but the only salvation she had to give now was in putting Thomas to bed. Resting. She knew it wasn't as light as that, but that was how she'd lie to herself so she could get this perfectly. She let herself look up at him once more, her companion, her friend who was her boyfriend.

She would have given anything in the world to tug at his curly hair one more time.

"I love you. I'll do my best on the safety and sanity part."

Knee planted firmly in the ground, she pointed the gun toward his forehead. Took off the safety.

Pulled the trigger, twice.

[Catche Jagger]

Thomas did as she asked and placed his glasses at his side. Seemed like it might be a joke, but it was best to just hear her out.

And then he waited.









Fuck, why did it feel like she was taking so long? Obviously, he was nervous and scared so everything felt like it was longer. Minutes were millennia, et cetera, but the more he waited the more his mind began to race.

No one could really explain what it felt like to die. What if, even if the bullet did properly take him in the head, he actually felt it? Like, would time move slow like now so that he could feel it smash through, flesh and then bone, then feel his nerves all go berserk as it tore through his brain?

What was to become of his body? Was Sakurako going to try to manage whatever bloody mess was left of him?

Would his parents watch this, his brother? No no no, they wouldn’t. His mom and brother wouldn’t ever want to, and his dad wouldn’t know how, right? But what if someone showed it to them and they had to see him splattered all over the tree?

He was certain dying would be excruciatingly painful, now. He'd die screaming.

Damn it, what was taking Sakurako so long?

This is hard on her. You put everything on her with this. Putting you out of your misery, basically telling her to survive for you.

He hadn’t properly considered her, had he? What this would do to her.

You were selfish.

He didn’t open his eyes when he spoke.

“I’m sorry I-”

That's when the shots came.

B078, Thomas Buckley: DECEASED
53 Students Remain

[Sunnybunny]

The bullets and his words collided. Of course, the bullets won.

Bullets always won, huh?

Everyone she met when she arrived was dead. All the allies and friends she made were dead.

If she were honest with herself, Sakurako would admit that right now all she wanted to do was die.

Wearily, the girl crawled over to the... corpse. That's all it was, a corpse she'd created. Murdered, right? If he wasn't sure at the end, she'd one-hundred percent committed murder, here. Touching her forehead to his, her face was smeared with his blood and viscera.

Good.

People needed to know how... who she was. How quickly she folded.

Maybe it was what she wanted all along, huh? An easy excuse to play? She didn't know anymore.

Time didn't exist, but at some point she forced herself to move and pack their things. No, her things. She was a mini black widow, so everything was hers. Adele's cart was hers and Lucas's sword was hers and Sean's durian was hers and Zach's gun and Thomas's gun and whatever Aditi and Charelle had left was hers and the beartrap, that was hers too.

Cheridene's vape had only been the start of her bizarre bazaar.

All she had were useless things, to the walking corpse she'd become.

But he'd asked her to be safe. He wanted her to make a life from this, somehow.

A fool's errand.

But luckily for him, Thomas had asked a fool to take on the task.

((Sakurako A. Jackson continued in The Original Kings of Comedy))

"No need to say sorry, Tomtom. The way I see it, I'm sorry enough for the both of us."

Picking up his glasses, Sakurako hooked them onto her shirt. Maybe they'd help her find a reason to keep her word to him.