All It Is Is Things That Happen to You

[Catche Jagger]

Back at the beach, back when it all might’ve still been some fucked up dream, Thomas had met three people who he really hadn’t known well beforehand. Still, he had decided to stick with them, because they needed him, whether they knew it or not. That’s what he’d believed, anyway.

Desiree was shot and killed the next day.

Sean had been beaten to death, all alone.

And now the day’s announcements had revealed Lucas dying in the same way Thomas had known he would back when they parted. Erika killed him and all his heroic delusions proved for naught.

That made Thomas the last one, and how long was that going to last?

((Thomas Buckley continued from À Tout le Monde))

Since leaving the village, Sakurako had fussed over his wound but had otherwise tried to act as though things remained unchanged. He wanted to do the same, even with the void left by Sean’s death still fresh, but couldn’t.

The boy had lost a fair bit of blood from that gunshot wound and even with it finally patched up, he still felt far weaker than he had the previous day, but that was just the start of it. There was no exit wound at his back and though Thomas didn’t know much about ballistics, he had seen enough on TV to know that meant negative complications if there wasn't some kind of surgery.

Basically, it was a recipe for getting him killed and there was no way of fixing it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it either, with the nagging pain keeping him from sleeping. Instead he’d spent the night with his mind circling around the problem, under it, over it…

As morning had come he still couldn’t properly help Sakurako around, leaving them both slow and clumsy, needing to lean on each other as they passed through the woods, coming across a little clearing, a strange tree filled with a collection of shoes.

Yet even this strange place was not free of reminders of where they still were. A body lay near the tree, clearly short one arm. He knew the name that belonged to the corpse, Ariana, if nothing else. Part of him wondered what had led to her grisly, anonymous fate here, even as he already had too much on his mind.

Slowly shuffling forward, he took a seat at the foot of the tree, using his uninjured arm to steady himself.

Of course, Thomas had a plan for what to do next. He’d come to it during that long sleepless night, trying to outthink an apparent death sentence. Still, his breath was unsteady and his hands trembled slightly.

He had to trust his intuition. It had mostly proven correct so far.

“So, Sakurako…” His legs tensed up as he spoke. He tried to make fists, but struggled with his left, finding mobility more limited there than the previous day.

“I have to ask you something.” The statement felt more like a question aimed at his final companion, his girlfriend.

[Sunnybunny]

The journey away from the village hadn't been nearly fast enough. Their patch job on Thomas's wound? Not good enough.

At least seeing all these shoes was interesting enough.

((Sakurako A. Jackson continued from À Tout le Monde))

While he rested, she'd decided to organize their growing collection of bric n' bracs. Lucas's minecraft sword, never returned. Cheridene's... vape pen thing, never smoked. Princess's single shoe, still in her possession, though Sakurako doubted the Cinderella thing was her bag at all. It was good enough that the girl was still alive to brush off the sentiment.

Onto the tree it went, along with her Superfly's. Muddy as they were, they were still fresher than anything else she could see.

Including Ariana's corpse. She'd been so feisty in class, it had been... well. Nothing to think about now, at any rate. Marco had killed her, and he wasn't here to ask about it. Typical.

Plopping down on the other side of the tree, she leaned against it and rested. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Tomtom suffer, or think about how they'd fix it. It wasn't. She would swear on the fact, that oath being a lie thinner than a mint.

"I'm not going to braid your hair, we've already been over this." They hadn't at all. "You'd look like a damn fool. Not on my watch."

Smelled like locker room out here.

Her nails drug through the dirt, a child's gesture.

[Catche Jagger]

Thomas laughed at Sakurako’s remark, though he did have to wonder if she’d made it for his benefit or her own. Probably a bit of both.

“You sure? I feel like I could rock that look. Be the envy of the whole island.”

Fuck, now his lower jaw was shaking. He needed to get over the nerves. He needed to focus. The boy had spent the whole night coming to a decision and he couldn’t just back down now.

“Did you, um… I don’t think I told you? I never, you know, applied- or auditioned for any theater programs. F-For college, I mean. I know it’s what I wanted and maybe- you know maybe I should have? I don’t… I think I got scared? I don’t know about what, but…”

He was rambling. Easing into this wasn’t working.

“That wasn’t… I wasn’t asking about that. That wasn’t what I wanted to ask you about, it’s just.” Thomas took a deep breath, shook his head.

Why was this so hard? It was elementary really, simple, but he just kept making it more difficult for himself.

“I… look, Sakurako, can you- Look, I’d really like to be able to look at you for a sec, if that’s okay?” Thomas was only able to get that much out before needing another breath.

Maybe seeing her would make it easier, less awkward. Maybe it would strengthen his resolve.

[Sunnybunny]

For someone who joked about so many things, making her laugh in turn had never taken much.

"Well, your hair is growing out. I guess it's okay as long as you let me put beads on the end or something."

They'd always laughed together, hadn't they? It wasn't like it had only ever been the two of them, all the drama club members had some measure of her regard. But his face was the one she saw most frequently when she pondered over the puzzle that was set-building with a budget that would never touch what the sports teams got.

Even if it had been because he'd liked her, that didn't taint a bit of those memories.

Now she was going to start thinking, she knew. About life, what it could have been, the future that fell apart more and more by the second. He mentioned his aspirations, how he'd not gone after them.

"I think acting really does suit you, it was always fun seeing you get into character." Hearing him uncertain was still new to her, but it was so freaking endearing now. Because they were alone? Because they'd both had walls up for the longest time, in different ways? "And even if you were scared, 'least you knew you had something to reach for."

Because she didn't know how to stop him from bleeding out?

Not having to stand didn't stop her movement from being awkward as she scooted her way in front of him.

He could see her. See her, as she slowly looked up to his eyes. Quiet. Waiting.

[Catche Jagger]

Sakurako actually remarked on his theater-related blabbering, which Thomas really hadn’t expected. Maybe she hadn’t picked up on his demeanor, or more likely had tried to ignore it.

She did do as he asked, though, and moved around the tree to face him.

“Yeah, no. Um, thank you. Really.”

He was wrong, being able to see her did not make things any easier. The way she carried herself in the moment, like everything would work out, like all of this was somehow manageable, could be infectious.

Thomas had come to a decision, though. He needed to follow through. He needed to.

So, the boy did not look at Sakurako as he spoke, but through her, past her to the trees that surrounded their little clearing.

“I… I’m dying- going to die.” Thomas formed his lips into an “o” shape and let out a breath.

Why was he breathing so much right now? Was he always breathing like this? Like he’d suffered brain damage and could barely function?

“Just, whoever goes home from this has to kill someone… It’s- I think you should kill me.” He nodded, still not properly turning his attention back to her, not wanting to see whatever her raw reaction was, whether it be confusion or anger or just not taking him seriously.

The idea of this interaction had gone so much smoother in his head the previous night, wherein he could clearly explain things to Sakurako. But here? Here he was already a mess.

[Sunnybunny]

Just when things couldn't be more fragile, her boyfriend turned the screw.

For a minute, she didn't respond at all to his statement. Then-

"No. No, what the fucki-"

Sakurako snarled like an bear ensnared. All teeth and rising fury, only made ambivalent by one of her hands twirling erraticly through her hair. Her right hand gently but oh-so insistently moved his chin so he could watch the trainwreck up close and personal.

Thomas seemed like he might hyperventilate, she felt like she was drowning to death.

"You just drop that on me and... won't even look me in the eye?"

Somehow, she didn't see it coming. Maybe that hurt most of all.

[Catche Jagger]

Sakurako was upset. Well, of course she was.

Thomas didn’t resist as she turned his face right to hers. He owed her that.

Fuck, why did he feel guilty? This was right. This was right.

Slowly, he brought his eyes to meet hers before speaking up again, keeping his voice low, quiet, level as he could.

“I… I’ve been thinking about it, and that’s what I think. I think you should kill me.”

That was right, functional, straightforward. It was what they needed. Like ripping off a band-aid. But then, where was the relief that should have come with getting the words out?

[Sunnybunny]

His calmness felt like condescension, though she knew better. Didn't help. Might have made it worse.

"Why? Come on Tommy boy, sell it good."

He had the right to decide this.

To die how he so chose.

But...

"What do you think would be left of me, with the rest of your blood on my hands?"

[Catche Jagger]

The reaction he got this time confused Thomas a bit. Maybe something wasn’t clicking or he wasn’t being clear? Why did it all need to be so hard?

“I’m not… sell? It’s- I’m going to die anyway and… is something not clear?” Thomas asked, finding himself tongue-tied as he tried to elaborate. What more was there to say beyond that it was the most reasonable thing to do.

Then why does it still feel like you’re lying, leaving something out? Even here, even now?

Damn it! This wasn’t the time for introspection, it was the time for action. He’d spent a whole night fighting with himself over this. He didn’t need to start that all over again.

Thomas curled his legs in close as he continued to speak.

“It’s the only way that either of us gets out ahead of this, so you have to. You need to kill me, alright?” The boy’s tone did not come off as reassuring as he’d like, the words were rushed and breathy. Not the voice of someone assured of their rightness, but of someone deeply afraid.

[Sunnybunny]

"Don't wanna."

From a snarling beast to a petulant kid, which was oddly new to her. Not like she would have dared to with her grandmother, not like she needed to with her parents. Why was she thinking about them now? Wrong time, but it was always the wrong time.

Sakurako closed her eyes, looking for peace and finding none.

"What if I just tried to do it to someone else? Wouldn't that still work?"

Fuckin' nailed it.

Thomas seemed so... like he was shrinking. It twisted her guts, only made her want to cling to him more.

[Catche Jagger]

She didn’t… want to?

Something about that… something made Thomas snap.

“Can you take this seriously? Please, so I’m not the only fucking one?” He was yelling, probably. He couldn't tell. Thomas had never been so frustrated with Sakurako before, so angry.

“Sakurako, you know, maybe I can last another day with this, maybe two I don’t know. But I’m done, you know that! God, I’m trying to be at peace with this shit. I-” The boy cut himself off. He was starting to cry again.

After a moment he cleared his throat, wiped his face with a his good arm, and tried to speak again.

“What do you want?” The question was flat in delivery, bitter in tone.

[Sunnybunny]

She laughed. Right in his angry, crying face, Sakurako cackled like a vengeful witch.

Everything was funny.

Everything.

Nothing.

[Sunnybunny]

With a deep breath and trembling hands, she pulled the nameless, unloved pistol out of where the violence was keep.

Safety on, she pointed it.

Aimed at a whirring, watchful eye of her enemy.

[Sunnybunny]

"I'll just take what I can get."

[Catche Jagger]

Thomas stared stunned, dumbfounded at the girl before him.

“What the- what the hell are you doing?” He shouted again.

Was she trying to turn this into some double suicide thing? Shooting a camera and getting herself killed? That wasn’t what was supposed to happen, it wasn’t what needed to happen!

What the hell was wrong with him? Everything was getting all fucked up and now Sakurako was laughing like someone that was deeply, deeply unsettled. Fortunately, everything going so horribly wrong distracted him enough that he didn't need to be so conscious of his every breath.

“Sakurako, I literally have no fucking idea what you’re trying to do right now. I’m trying to- Can you just talk to me? Explain what the hell is going on?”