Terminal Gardener

[decoy73]

Oh, bugger.

Could she do it? Stephanie looked down at the bat. Up until yesterday, the answer would have been a resounding "no." Mainly because she essentially had nothing to kill anybody with. Now, however, it was a different story. She actually had the tools to do what they wanted. But the thought from the first day came through again. With one major difference.

"I ... really don't know. I mean, I could use this, but I've never been in any sort of fight or anything. Nobody's really forced me to do anything since I got this, and, well, I only got this yesterday. But, I'm just hoping that when someone comes after me, that I can actually defend myself." She sighed. "I ... did pick up some extra food. Upside of looting the dead."

[Grim Wolf]

Daria wanted to say something poignant. Daria wanted to say something pithy, insightful, clever. Daria wanted to be the force of nature waiting in this little zone of peace, speaking with heroes, killers, and pacifists alike, sparring with their deals and sharing pearls of wisdom.

Daria wanted to do all those things, but then Stephanie said the words "extra food."

At once, the tiredness and the hunger stopped being passive things idly felt (like sticky heat or clammy clothes) and became pressing physical forces, active and gnawing. Her mouth flooded with saliva, and her stomach panged more fiercely than any cramps she'd ever had, and Daria closed her eyes and struggled not to beg. Her hands clenched at her arm rests.

All this pretense of being ready to die, but her body wasn't ready. She wanted that food so bad it hurt.

She took a deep breath, eyes still closed. Trying to be honest, but she was still a performer. And besides, there was the matter of her mission..

"No harm in looting the dead," Daria said. "Not like they need the stuff." She paused, jerked her in the general direction of the huge house she'd first investigated. "There was...vomit and other stuff over there. Didn't stick around long."

Ask for the food ask for the food ask ask ask ask ask

"No harm in defending yourself, either," Daria said "I've been lucky. Haven't really had to. Sure my luck's gonna run out one of these days."

So hungry just ask why won't you ask is it pride are you proud too proud to eat too proud to beg

"But I don't intend to," Daria said. "Defend myself, I mean. I'm not..." She shook her head. "I'm not playing their game. Even if it kills me."

It's going to kill you bullet bat drowning thirst starving starving

And if she begged she'd be telling them they'd won admitting it to them admitting she was suffering admitting she was just a little girl they'd strapped a bomb to who would die along and meaningless and pointless and weak and human.

"Mind sharing some food?" Daria asked, even as her thoughts screamed at her. "I could do with a bite."

[decoy73]

Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned the food? Of course, she somewhat knew that Daria would ask for more if she was claiming that she didn't have any food.

"Yeah. Sure." She took out a tin of crackers (the weight hinted that it was only partially full) and a bottle of water from one of the bags and handed them to her. With Jeff's and Max's bags, she actually had quite a bit of food remaining. Well, enough to not starve. If she counted her portions properly.

[Grim Wolf]

"Yeah. Sure."

Daria offered the slightest smile, trying to maintain her poise, trying not to snatch the tin of crackers or the water bottle. She nodded, took both (careful, careful, slow and careful, look like you're careless, look like you don't have tears in your eye), and put the water bottle to one side while opening the crackers. She eyeballed the contents, poured half into her hands, closed the tin, and then sat there, crackers in hand (burning in her hand eat eat eat smash her skull take her food), smiling up at Stephanie.

This was never going to be easy. But I'm not going to lose just because I'm hungry.

"Thanks, Steph. You're good people. A..." She chuckled, even though it rasped in her dry throat.. "Model student.[/i]"

She took a bite of a cracker. It was all she could do not to stuff the whole pile into her mouth.

"I was gonna look around," Daria said. "See if there was anyone else. Dead or alive." She stood up, eating another cracker (a little easier now, even as her stomach rumbled, there was food, there was food). "Maybe bury'em, if I can find a shovel." She gestured around. "If you want to help...or just, you know...shut your eyes..." She shrugged. "I kinda like the idea of making a place where people can rest, y'know."

Another cracker in her mouth, the tin her bag, heading for the door. She didn't wait to see if Stephanie was following.

[decoy73]

Stephanie giggled. It was a lame joke, but it was one that didn't go into any dark places or anything. So, yeah. The bar for a good time was going down by a lot.

Daria wanted to look for the dead to pay their respects. Give them some semblance of a dignified death. It was a good idea. Stephanie nodded as she stood up and went to follow her.

"Yeah. I'd like that."

[Grim Wolf]

And for a few days, life was almost normal.

There was no shovel she could find, to lay the dead to rest. She gave up on that idea soon enough, and with Stephanie's help wrapped the mangled body they found ine one of the nearby houses in an old quilt, and carried its bloodsoaked weight out into the same overgrowth where the other two bodies were. If she could not give them a proper burial, she could at least give them company.

She tried not to ask for more food from Stephanie. She tried to keep moving, to keep herself active. She tried to make herself look like the woman who'd seen beyond the game. Maybe making herself look like too much of a stereotype in the process, but she wanted to be memorable, when everything ended.

But there was too much death, too much blood, too much heat, too much hunger. Daria could not forget those things, much as she wanted to. And her pretense didn't help her when she heard Aliya's name on the Announcements.

She went to bed before the sun went down, and awoke just as it was dawning. She sat in silence for some time, and walked the grounds of her little place of peace, and she readied herself for another screaming match with Danya. And then she heard Aliya's name, and she simply lost the words. The last time she'd felt any kind of peace had been with Aliya and Tony, before he passed in the night. Aliya had offered to take Daria with her. Now Aliya was gone. Would she still be alive if Daria had stayed with her? Would they both be dead?

Matter of when, not if.

"Blaise d'Aramitz had a lot of fun at Julien Leblanc's expense..."

Daria remained where she was sitting, and did not speak again for some time. Long after the Announcements had passed, with a cool breeze on her forehead, and the heate of the morning sun upon her skin, Daria remained exactly where she was, her eyes closed.

"You're getting boring, Danyuh," she said, and went back inside. She talked to Stephanie a little, as though she was unconcerned with what she'd heard. As though her meditative wait had meant something. As though Blaise's words weren't running through her head, over and over.

"They were all his fault. The rest will be too."

Your bright idea to give her absolution. Look what she's done with it.

She didn't say much to Stephanie. She didn't too much, either. They straightened up their little house, raided the other houses for more pillows, more blankets, more creature comforts. She enjoyed chatting with Steph, even if they didn't say much. The model and the actress, having their own little d-plot as the apocalypse raged around them. As killers like Blaise murdered and murdered and murdered. As Danyuh's game continued.

"We all play, Daria. The game moves on without note for protest. I will make you an offer as well. When you can't do this anymore. When you are ready to lose. Find me. I will make it peaceful."

Was that all she was doing? Making peace with the lifetime she'd lost? Getting ready for when Blaise came back?

Almost routine days, nibbling on what food Stephanie gave her, drinking her dwindling supplies of water, sleeping in the dusk and rising with the dawn. She found the same seat, and sat there waiting for the new Announcements. No one else could see inside her head. No one else knew how rattled she was. How shaken, and unsure, and afraid.

...the collars of Emmett Bunnell and Jonathan Meyers were detonated after they destroyed a camera during a fight...

...remember, kids: you can win the battle and still lose the war...

former contender Madison Springer had a bit of a tantrum and then decided to throw in the towel by shooting herself in the head. Try not to follow her example; it's very disappointing for the viewers at home...

...if you were planning on lying low until numbers were dwindling before you struck, now's the time to make your move. You'll thank me later. Until tomorrow kids; just remember, you're nearly home...

The Announcements ended. Daria opened her eyes and found the same camera she'd raged at before Blaise had called her attention. She smiled slightly.

"Aren't you listening, Danyuh?" Daria asked, wagging her finger. "B-O-R-I-N-G." She shook her head. "Christ, at least Blaise and Quinn are fun to talk to. You're just...you're really phoning it in." She laughed. "All these little reminders. Not hammering the trust theme too hard this time, but you really want to make the game feel rigged, don't you? Keep suckers like Blaise playing." She assumed a mocking tone, though she mimicked Danya's intonation and cadence almost perfect. "Some of our camera monitors can be a little trigger-happy." She laughed nastily. "Don't mess with your cameras. Don't get cocky. Don't kill yourself. And if you haven't killed anyone yet, now's your chance. Time's running out. You could go home."

She smiled. "We got you a little worried there, Danyuh? Maybe not too many friends turning on each other the way you'd home. Maybe a lot of people not buying into your bullshit." She tapped her collars. "Guns to our fucking heads, and most of us still aren't playing the way you want us to play. Must be frustrating. Maybe you could suck the cock of a real terrorist when you get a chance? Or a real comedian, dealer's choice. Maybe you could just go fuck yourself in general." She laughed again, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I know you can probably only fuck yourself. Gun to my head, I think I'd pull the trigger instead of giving you the time of day."

"You're right about one thing, though," she said. "All these battles you've won, and you still haven't won the war." She grinned. "Guess we'll see."

She turned, and walked back into her house.

[decoy73]

They were able to find a quilt to wrap a body in. She, or it, was placed with two other corpses. But other than that, they just talked, for short bursts filled with long, comfortable silences, fixing up their place and raiding other houses in the area.

The day was comfortable, until the announcement.

Diego had killed again. Danya was still a wanker. Ivy was dead. Stephanie ... didn't mind her. Madison was dead. That wasn't good. Daria decided to speechify. Stephanie didn't really have much to add. Well, maybe a V-sign to the camera, but that was really it.

[Grim Wolf]

Not such a comfortable silence, back inside the house. The air felt heavy, and stagnant, and she didn't think it was the weather.

She could mock Danya all she wanted (and she fully intended to, right up until the end), but that wasn't changing anything. She kept thinking of the bodies in the garden, She kept thinking of Aliya, and Tony, and Carrie.

"Is there..." Daria said, after one of their long silences. "Is there something else we should...do?"

[decoy73]

"I, I don't know." Was there anything else to do? They could get themselves or each other off, but the idea that Daria would be attracted to her was laughable - even if Daria did like women, Stephanie was still too fresh off what happened, and their impending doom wasn't exactly an aphrodisiac.

"You asked me yesterday what had my knickers in a twist," she said. "About, God, a week ago, I found Jessica's body. Jessica Rennes? She was, we were together."

[Grim Wolf]

Lost in her own whirling thoughts, in her own uncertainty. She was barely listening to Stephanie, staring listlessly into the mid-morning sunlight around them. Everything felt so warm, so pleasant, so peaceful. Everything felt fraught, fake, and futile. She sat here, playing at peace, while people tore themselves apart. Who knew what would-be hero Blaise might shoot down? Who knew what might become of Blaise herself? Who knew what new tragedy like Carrie and her friend would play out again, while Daria-

"I found Jessica's body. Jessica Rennes? She was, we were together."

Daria's head jerked up. Her mouth dropped slightly.

"Holy shit, Steph," she whispered. "I didn't...I...I'm so sorry."

[decoy73]

Daria gave her condolences. Expected, really. After all, who really wanted to see people die, even when it was expected?

"It's ... it's okay. I've had my time to grieve." It was a nice gesture. "When, if I make it out, maybe I can grieve better, and not be a zombie." She chuckled. "Maybe I'll go back to London. If I'd stayed there, there'd likely have been one less for you all to go through."

[Grim Wolf]

One less to go through.

Daria smiled, and said, "Wrong genre, Steph. We're not zombies, we're...gladiators?" She frowned. "That doesn't seem horrifying enough..."

Still so clever, Daria Bhatia. In your little safe house, making your little jokes, trying to comfort a woman who has faced one of the worst things you can imagine. Time to grieve, Stephanie had said, and Daria still didn't know what that was like. Not really. Besides the loss of the woman you loved, what could grief over Carrie or the casual dates and hook-ups and flings of Daria's crowded, busy life possibly compare?

And Steph played it just like you, Daria, cool as a cucumber, pretending they weren't on the edge of annihilation, as if the dead weren't an ocean around them, as if they hadn't had to wash blood off their hands, or carry bodies to the garden.

"Steph?" she said softly. "For what it's worth, I'm...I'm glad you're here." She stopped for a moment, then blanched, half gagging, half laughing. "Oh, Christ, I mean...I don't...I wish..." She broke off, laughed harder. "I mean, I wish....I wish none of us were here, but since we're...you made this..."

Her laughter trailed off. She smiled at Steph. "The last few days...you made it feel almost...normal."

Her smile faded a little, though it didn't quite go out. One less to go through. Time to grieve. Over and over in her head.

"Steph, I...think I want to find people," she said. "I think I want to bring them back here. I think I want people to feel a little less..."

She tried to smile wider, couldn't quite manage it. "You know?"

[decoy73]

Stephanie looked down, bashfully. She actually blushed at that. Daria was trying to smile, but given the situation, it was understandable that she wasn't. She just wanted people to feel less ... well ...

"Yeah. I think I know what you mean, and ... thanks." She hugged Daria. "You helped me a lot, too." She smirked. "Maybe we'll see each other again?"

[Grim Wolf]

"Thanks," Steph said, and...

Somewhere--Daria couldn't remember where--she had once read the phrase "sagged with relief." She had found the phrase faintly disquieting when she'd first read it. She didn't understand what it meant. Daria was always poised, always focused, always collected (ignore the last few days, they were extraordinary circumstances). How could she lose that?

Then Steph hugged her, and she understood.

The theater crowd was pretty damn snuggly, and Daria had forgotten how even casual gestures mattered--how much a simple pat on the shoulder or a quick hug could relax you. Or maybe she hand't forgotten: maybe she'd never known. It had been part of her day-to-day life, part of her basic reality. She had been coiled tight since her first moment waking up on this godforsaken island, and nothing had changed that: not her naked plunge into the ocean, not Carrie's soft words around the fire with Connor, not her moment's rest beside Tony and Aliya (so many dead, so many gone).

Steph hugged her, and for the first time, Daria actually relaxed. Steph hugged her, and Daria sagged with relief, and wrapped her arms around Steph, and pulled her close.

"We will," Daria said fiercely. "I promise."

Dumb to make that promise. You've see this movie, Daria. You've just guaranteed you ain't reuniting until at least one of you is dying.

"But I ain't fucking leaving yet!" Daria grinned. "Maybe someone's gonna show up, huh? I'm not gonna go stomping all over the Island if people start showing up to our party!" Besides..." She looked around the house, grinning broadly, her hands still on Steph's shoulders, relishing the closeness of another human being, relishing the reminder that she was safe and loved and had a friend, even through all this shit. "-We still got to do some work on our place."

(Daria Bhatia continued in Stop Crying Your Heart Out)

[decoy73]

"We've still got to do some work on our place."

Stephanie smiled. "So, where do we start?"

((Stephanie McDonald continued in Stop Crying Your Heart Out))