He had a few minutes of time to talk, to process, to let any and all repressed feelings out, but he didn't. He looked at Lucille and looked at Sofia and looked at Fisk and Verity and Akeno's retreating forms and he just thought about how things are never gonna be the same again, and that scared him.
''Yeah,'' he muttered.
''Apparently.''
…
''I'd apologize, but I don't think you want to hear it.''
The gun pointed downwards. He still had time. Time to draw this out before Fisk returns.
Or an eternity, really. If he just did what he wanted. And what he wanted was to not shoot Lucille, even though the voice in his head was screaming at him to just get it done with. Internally, Vasily wished that this was just another case of mindless violence- catch, kill, walk away unbothered. He did it for Seth, why not for Lucille?
He aimed for her shin, and fired. Not her head. He regretted that. Finger on the trigger for just a milisecond.
disappointingly a ‘luckier’ fish
private - time to write a death thread honey yes dear etc
-
DerArknight
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:47 pm
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
While closing in on the others, Sofia saw Fisk running upstairs and giving orders to Vasily. Something about a problem child. Then he was gone.
So appartently they were dealing with two enemies this time. Since Verity and James appeared to be upstairs as well, Sofia decided to see if Vasily needed help.
When she came closer and a larger car stopped blocking her vision, she was greeted by a very surprising sight.
"Lucille?"
Yes, it was Lucille. Her teammate. The girl she had spent the first hours of this game with. Who she had helped against Sylvain.
And most importantly, who had abandoned her by running off without a word.
For a moment, she didn't know what to do. Then Fisk's words from the night before echoed in her mind.
The grip around her shiv tightened. Sure, she had been willing to put the dyng Keegan out of his misery last night. But Keegan had been a stranger to her. This girl? A teammate.
But what was a teammate, anyway? It was not like she had decided to partner up with Lucille. The showrunners had simply given them the same bandannas and mentor. Or maybe they had left it to some sort of lottery. Whatever, it was a fact that the whole team-thing only had as much value as she attributed to it. Unless she was aiming for the ten-kill-release, which she honestly didn't see herself doing in any timeline.
Also, this was the perfect opportunity to prove herself to the others. Vasily was holding Lucille at gunpoint, making Sofia briefly wonder why he hadn't shot yet. Furthermore, Lucille was apparently unarmed. The only question was what James would think. After mulling about it, she realized that he probably would understand. While he had told her about his concerns regarding the group, he ultimatively had not said anything about being against murder in general while on this show.
Sofia resumed walking. But before she could reach Vasily to speak about what to do, he had already raised his gun in a fast motion and pressed the trigger.
So appartently they were dealing with two enemies this time. Since Verity and James appeared to be upstairs as well, Sofia decided to see if Vasily needed help.
When she came closer and a larger car stopped blocking her vision, she was greeted by a very surprising sight.
"Lucille?"
Yes, it was Lucille. Her teammate. The girl she had spent the first hours of this game with. Who she had helped against Sylvain.
And most importantly, who had abandoned her by running off without a word.
For a moment, she didn't know what to do. Then Fisk's words from the night before echoed in her mind.
The grip around her shiv tightened. Sure, she had been willing to put the dyng Keegan out of his misery last night. But Keegan had been a stranger to her. This girl? A teammate.
But what was a teammate, anyway? It was not like she had decided to partner up with Lucille. The showrunners had simply given them the same bandannas and mentor. Or maybe they had left it to some sort of lottery. Whatever, it was a fact that the whole team-thing only had as much value as she attributed to it. Unless she was aiming for the ten-kill-release, which she honestly didn't see herself doing in any timeline.
Also, this was the perfect opportunity to prove herself to the others. Vasily was holding Lucille at gunpoint, making Sofia briefly wonder why he hadn't shot yet. Furthermore, Lucille was apparently unarmed. The only question was what James would think. After mulling about it, she realized that he probably would understand. While he had told her about his concerns regarding the group, he ultimatively had not said anything about being against murder in general while on this show.
Sofia resumed walking. But before she could reach Vasily to speak about what to do, he had already raised his gun in a fast motion and pressed the trigger.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
(Sound of static.)
(Smell of blood.)
(Not sterile. It didn't smell like death because her heart was still beating. Thump thump, inside of her skull the thin membrane of a kick drum.)
(SB05's eyes were shut tight, as her bleeding leg began to list and drift, capsizing but not dragging the rest of her down with her.)
(Slow to speech, her jaw welded shut by a loud insect buzz infesting her from behind the nose deep onto her temples.)
("... So you're gonna torture me instead now?")
(She'd never sounded more vulnerable before. Surprisingly pretty voice when she no longer had her inner willpower to fall back on.)
"... Sofia?"
She chanced her eyes open. It hurt just as much. The only reason she wasn't vomiting was because she was as numb as she was dying in agony.
"How did Fisk get you on board?"
Long pause. Melodramatic, but on accident, because her consciousness had already lapsed into a state of
(Why aren't they shooting already, why am I still here, this scene is a boring 2/10 because one side isn't even fighting back.)
pseudo-awareness. She was still alive. Lucille alive meant Lucille talking, because that was always how it worked, even here and now.
"I could've run, maybe. Not now, but before you..." She wasn't looking at either of them. "Why didn't I run. Akeno's gonna hate both of you now, but honestly she might've written me off before we ever got here..."
Were her lips even moving? Hard to tell.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
(Sound of static.)
(Smell of blood.)
(Not sterile. It didn't smell like death because her heart was still beating. Thump thump, inside of her skull the thin membrane of a kick drum.)
(SB05's eyes were shut tight, as her bleeding leg began to list and drift, capsizing but not dragging the rest of her down with her.)
(Slow to speech, her jaw welded shut by a loud insect buzz infesting her from behind the nose deep onto her temples.)
("... So you're gonna torture me instead now?")
(She'd never sounded more vulnerable before. Surprisingly pretty voice when she no longer had her inner willpower to fall back on.)
"... Sofia?"
She chanced her eyes open. It hurt just as much. The only reason she wasn't vomiting was because she was as numb as she was dying in agony.
"How did Fisk get you on board?"
Long pause. Melodramatic, but on accident, because her consciousness had already lapsed into a state of
(Why aren't they shooting already, why am I still here, this scene is a boring 2/10 because one side isn't even fighting back.)
pseudo-awareness. She was still alive. Lucille alive meant Lucille talking, because that was always how it worked, even here and now.
"I could've run, maybe. Not now, but before you..." She wasn't looking at either of them. "Why didn't I run. Akeno's gonna hate both of you now, but honestly she might've written me off before we ever got here..."
Were her lips even moving? Hard to tell.
Upcoming:
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
''I'm- I'm not-''
The words almost died in his throat, scratching the skin of his organs raw.
''That was meant to be a warning shot,'' he lied.
''And don't worry, Akeno already hates our guts. I- I don't think she's the type to write you off, though, Lucille.''
Vasily frowned at himself. Who was he trying to reassure again?
''But it clearly doesn't really matter anymore, so...''
...
''This is anticlimactic.''
He turned to Sofia, and back to Lucille, and then at her bleeding leg, and then back to Lucille, and then at the gun in his hands, and then back to Lucille. All within a second, or maybe that was because his perception of time was entirely askew.
''...''
He racked his brain for an inside joke to throw out, the kind that gets pasted to the wiki's trivia sections and makes it into the bottom list of shitty youtube top ten videos. That type that he and Lu- No, that was Lucia, that video was Lucia, he watched a different one with Lucille and-
And nothing. He froze up. Mind's empty.
It felt like the time they spent together as friends and classmates weren't real. Like that wasn't the real him. Like he was just created to be here and everything else had been a failed simulation to try to teach him how to be human, to build his voice and his character and his life up for this violent grand finale.
Was this what he was always meant to do?
''If you really want to get this over with...''
Who did he think she was? Of course not.
He knew Lucille had Issues. And that he also had issues. And maybe that was what drew them together, not arbitrary hobbies. He didn't know, though. He wasn't sure of anything these days. Sometimes he remembers that time when he kept on sticking his fingers into his eye socket when they were newly emptired until they got infected and then came the pus, and the blood, and the sting of disinfectant. Sometimes he looked back at that moment and thought 'surely I didn't actually did that,' and to this day he still wasn't sure if it was just a fever dream.
This was just the grander scale version of this.
Both the violence and the depersonalization. Maybe all he needed was to relive this, again, more real and raw.
His resolve steeled.
There's no way out, anyways.
The words almost died in his throat, scratching the skin of his organs raw.
''That was meant to be a warning shot,'' he lied.
''And don't worry, Akeno already hates our guts. I- I don't think she's the type to write you off, though, Lucille.''
Vasily frowned at himself. Who was he trying to reassure again?
''But it clearly doesn't really matter anymore, so...''
...
''This is anticlimactic.''
He turned to Sofia, and back to Lucille, and then at her bleeding leg, and then back to Lucille, and then at the gun in his hands, and then back to Lucille. All within a second, or maybe that was because his perception of time was entirely askew.
''...''
He racked his brain for an inside joke to throw out, the kind that gets pasted to the wiki's trivia sections and makes it into the bottom list of shitty youtube top ten videos. That type that he and Lu- No, that was Lucia, that video was Lucia, he watched a different one with Lucille and-
And nothing. He froze up. Mind's empty.
It felt like the time they spent together as friends and classmates weren't real. Like that wasn't the real him. Like he was just created to be here and everything else had been a failed simulation to try to teach him how to be human, to build his voice and his character and his life up for this violent grand finale.
Was this what he was always meant to do?
''If you really want to get this over with...''
Who did he think she was? Of course not.
He knew Lucille had Issues. And that he also had issues. And maybe that was what drew them together, not arbitrary hobbies. He didn't know, though. He wasn't sure of anything these days. Sometimes he remembers that time when he kept on sticking his fingers into his eye socket when they were newly emptired until they got infected and then came the pus, and the blood, and the sting of disinfectant. Sometimes he looked back at that moment and thought 'surely I didn't actually did that,' and to this day he still wasn't sure if it was just a fever dream.
This was just the grander scale version of this.
Both the violence and the depersonalization. Maybe all he needed was to relive this, again, more real and raw.
His resolve steeled.
There's no way out, anyways.
-
DerArknight
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:47 pm
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Something was not right with Vasily.
At first it had looked like he would finish the job. But then, after the first shots, he started to waver. Babbling stuff about climates and warning shots. His last sentence sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else. He seemed like he suddenly had no clue what he was doing here, or why.
On the other hand, Lucille had asked a really good question to Sofia.
"I am here because James is here. We both are kind of dating." She felt like she owed at least this much of an answer to her former ally.
Then Sofia stopped thinking of Lucille as that. Lucille was the opportunity she had been hoping for. With Vasily being weird and Lucille already wounded, she couldn't think of a better one.
"But I don't think you have any moral high ground." Sofia stepped forward, brandishing her shiv. "After all, from what you two said you are working with Akeno right now, who is also a murderer."
She took two deep breaths. Despite having made up her mind, this still was going to be hard.
But there was one thing she had to know from Lucille before ending it. It had been kind of in the back of her mind, only plopping into her conscience now and then. This was the only moment to ask. If Sofia didn't, she would wonder about it for the rest of her life, regardless of how short it might be.
"So, now allow me to ask something. Back on the glass-bottomed boat, why did you run away without a word?"
At first it had looked like he would finish the job. But then, after the first shots, he started to waver. Babbling stuff about climates and warning shots. His last sentence sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else. He seemed like he suddenly had no clue what he was doing here, or why.
On the other hand, Lucille had asked a really good question to Sofia.
"I am here because James is here. We both are kind of dating." She felt like she owed at least this much of an answer to her former ally.
Then Sofia stopped thinking of Lucille as that. Lucille was the opportunity she had been hoping for. With Vasily being weird and Lucille already wounded, she couldn't think of a better one.
"But I don't think you have any moral high ground." Sofia stepped forward, brandishing her shiv. "After all, from what you two said you are working with Akeno right now, who is also a murderer."
She took two deep breaths. Despite having made up her mind, this still was going to be hard.
But there was one thing she had to know from Lucille before ending it. It had been kind of in the back of her mind, only plopping into her conscience now and then. This was the only moment to ask. If Sofia didn't, she would wonder about it for the rest of her life, regardless of how short it might be.
"So, now allow me to ask something. Back on the glass-bottomed boat, why did you run away without a word?"
("Never thought it would be this lame. Like, when I died... if I died...")
(Half-hearted addendum. As noncommittal as SB05 had been in general, on this side of the TV screen. She didn't clutch at the shattered pieces of her leg sticking out of what had once been a leg shape, the vaguely vertical pile of bone and flesh leaking out of the bottom of her sagging kneecap.)
(She wanted to sit down. She wanted to complain about having no where to sit, because that'd be useful small talk. Not the best small talk she'd ever worked with her own two lips, but small talk was comfort food going the wrong direction.)
(She wanted to touch Vasily. Well she always had, kind of, she guessed, in that vague storybook 'I like the idea of this more than I actually like what is happening' way. A lot of things she'd thought she wanted had turned out that way, it seemed. It had even been that way with Bethany. She liked Bethany but actually loving her had been... Well...)
("I knew the two of you were dating... duh.")
Breathless. SB05 was already starting to struggle, against the weight of her own lungs, her own eyelids, her own deflating and sad little ego.
("Never claimed moral high ground.")
She watched her friend, her fashion buddy, who actually still looked pretty good by dint of repeating her casting day get up. Something something, why fix what ain't broke.
Lucille Mendoza would have had opinions on that particular bit of cop out fluff.
(SB05 blinked slowly, trying to align SB11 in the general arc of her vision.)
"I like the look, Sofia... But you know that. What you don't know. I. I don't know."
Each little inhale through her lips looked like it hurt someone who looked like her but wasn't her. Her voice came out as if it were shared over a school desk and an ignored pile of homework.
"I didn't mean to run. I wouldn't have. I just did. No because."
(Half-hearted addendum. As noncommittal as SB05 had been in general, on this side of the TV screen. She didn't clutch at the shattered pieces of her leg sticking out of what had once been a leg shape, the vaguely vertical pile of bone and flesh leaking out of the bottom of her sagging kneecap.)
(She wanted to sit down. She wanted to complain about having no where to sit, because that'd be useful small talk. Not the best small talk she'd ever worked with her own two lips, but small talk was comfort food going the wrong direction.)
(She wanted to touch Vasily. Well she always had, kind of, she guessed, in that vague storybook 'I like the idea of this more than I actually like what is happening' way. A lot of things she'd thought she wanted had turned out that way, it seemed. It had even been that way with Bethany. She liked Bethany but actually loving her had been... Well...)
("I knew the two of you were dating... duh.")
Breathless. SB05 was already starting to struggle, against the weight of her own lungs, her own eyelids, her own deflating and sad little ego.
("Never claimed moral high ground.")
She watched her friend, her fashion buddy, who actually still looked pretty good by dint of repeating her casting day get up. Something something, why fix what ain't broke.
Lucille Mendoza would have had opinions on that particular bit of cop out fluff.
(SB05 blinked slowly, trying to align SB11 in the general arc of her vision.)
"I like the look, Sofia... But you know that. What you don't know. I. I don't know."
Each little inhale through her lips looked like it hurt someone who looked like her but wasn't her. Her voice came out as if it were shared over a school desk and an ignored pile of homework.
"I didn't mean to run. I wouldn't have. I just did. No because."
Upcoming:
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
He stayed silent.
Took a step back, put the gun down, set the stage. Undisruptive. He knew it wasn't his moment. The narrative was focused on the girls right now.
He wanted to touch Lucille, too. In a nondestructive, vague way, like- just touching somebody for the comfort of it, where he didn't have to know the shape of his own body and the way it was all disappointingly straight lines. It can be any kind of touch, really. He would like to prefer the comforting kind.
But that wasn't good for the camera.
And he was always playing to the camera.
Just a character.
Like he always wanted.
A background one.
Took a step back, put the gun down, set the stage. Undisruptive. He knew it wasn't his moment. The narrative was focused on the girls right now.
He wanted to touch Lucille, too. In a nondestructive, vague way, like- just touching somebody for the comfort of it, where he didn't have to know the shape of his own body and the way it was all disappointingly straight lines. It can be any kind of touch, really. He would like to prefer the comforting kind.
But that wasn't good for the camera.
And he was always playing to the camera.
Just a character.
Like he always wanted.
A background one.
-
DerArknight
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:47 pm
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
For some reason, Sofia felt neither satisfied nor disappointed about Lucille's answer.
She wondered what she would have done if the answer had been different. But then she decided it didn't matter. In the end, there had been no big secret behind Lucille's betrayal, so maybe there also would be no big secret behind Lucille's death. Sometimes, things just happened in life.
Maybe there was no bigger reason for anything that happened on this show.
With this somber thoughts, Sofia was out of excuses to postpone the inevitable outcome.
"Well, then I guess there is nothing more to talk about." She spoke. A part of her was creeped out by how distant and cold she sounded. "I apologize in advance, but this will probably hurt a lot."
This line was absolutely stupid, like something a movie-villain would say. But it helped Sofia to further distance herself from what was about to happen. So it was not a bad thing to say right now.
With this, she aimed with the shiv for Lucille's neck and-
She wondered what she would have done if the answer had been different. But then she decided it didn't matter. In the end, there had been no big secret behind Lucille's betrayal, so maybe there also would be no big secret behind Lucille's death. Sometimes, things just happened in life.
Maybe there was no bigger reason for anything that happened on this show.
With this somber thoughts, Sofia was out of excuses to postpone the inevitable outcome.
"Well, then I guess there is nothing more to talk about." She spoke. A part of her was creeped out by how distant and cold she sounded. "I apologize in advance, but this will probably hurt a lot."
This line was absolutely stupid, like something a movie-villain would say. But it helped Sofia to further distance herself from what was about to happen. So it was not a bad thing to say right now.
With this, she aimed with the shiv for Lucille's neck and-
-
Wham Yubeesling
- Posts: 1257
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:15 pm
- Location: there is a man standing behind you
- Team Affiliation: Stephanie's Buccaneers
- Contact:
A voice comes out of Sofia's collar
"SOFIA THAT'S YOUR TEAMMATE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING-"
"SOFIA THAT'S YOUR TEAMMATE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING-"
"Steph."
SB05 didn't even flinch.
"Sorry, but shut up."
Her eyes held Sofia's own. Searching.
"You're gonna have to be more convincing than that."
SB05 didn't even flinch.
"Sorry, but shut up."
Her eyes held Sofia's own. Searching.
"You're gonna have to be more convincing than that."
Upcoming:
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
"Well, then?"
(He almost stared at his own collar. Expectantly. As if Malcolm's disapproving voice would ring out suddenly.)
"Get on with it."
(He almost stared at his own collar. Expectantly. As if Malcolm's disapproving voice would ring out suddenly.)
"Get on with it."
-
DerArknight
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:47 pm
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Stephanie intervened, calling her out. For a moment, Sofia was taken aback. While busy thinking about killing and her new role as a member of the Respects, she had genuinely forgotten about her mentor. Not that she had any fond memories of her in the first place.
However, Lucille quickly set her back on course. Vasily was also helpful for once.
Sofia collected herself. This was the moment she had known might come as long as she managed to survive long enough. And she had survived long enough.
Keegan's shiv - her shiv - felt cold in her hand as she brought it down on Lucille.
However, Lucille quickly set her back on course. Vasily was also helpful for once.
Sofia collected herself. This was the moment she had known might come as long as she managed to survive long enough. And she had survived long enough.
Keegan's shiv - her shiv - felt cold in her hand as she brought it down on Lucille.
(Like, had she raised her hand at the last second to try and stop it? To claw back and put up fingers and bones and anything else between the knife and the softness of her blood vessels beneath... aorta, or whichever one the important one was.)
(Had she started kicking and screaming, actually. Or breathing so fast that her lips and face had turned blue because she no longer actually kept the stuff she needed in her lungs long enough for it to work.)
(Might've been that she was crying, and begging for it to stop or-)
(No, like, hard to tell. Impossible, actually. Her perspective, the five plus senses that oriented and anchored her to the world around her, had all been glued to the TV screen version of herself, and like, there she was. Contestant SB05, probably ranked middle-highish coming into Season 67 depending on the pundit appraisals of her subtle but there mental deficiencies. Would she rise to the occasion, would she stumble and fall and be as much of a loser as the typical American high school teen when all their pretenses fell apart in the face of life and death... blah blah, all that.)
(She was that girl on the screen, dying now. The one she'd dismissed and commodified time and time again when it hadn't been her own neck casually splitting open, a necklace shape wound for the world's most extreme fashion statement ever.)
(She was... uh. Hard to tell. Feeling pain? Not feeling it? Could've been adrenaline numbing all the sensations but the light in her dying eyes- a light in plasma screen HD, of course- or maybe pain wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be? Not like SB05- Lucille, SB05, one and the same- had ever experienced much in the way of pain before, right? Maybe this was all there was to it. A gaping, rending, very physical sensation. But just that. Physical.)
(Pain wasn't her hopes and her dreams and her friendships evaporating all on the spot. See, she didn't even know what she was supposed to feel about that particular consequence of sucking and dying without having even scored a single kill. On some level she guessed she felt like it was all typical. The menial drama, and the fashion magazine gossip, and the best friends forever aesthetics, or whatever it was SB05 cared about in her life on this earth. It was like... she could get it back easy. Or there was always more of that to be had. Lose a few friends, no problem, she could always make more.)
(Lose a life... shit, she wasn't a cat. Her mistake, probably.)
(SB05 might've kept some look in her eyes as she went down. Not much further to go down since she'd already been actively losing control of everything below the waist with that first gunshot wound. Some dying look- contrition, disgust, shame, loathing... something softer and more humane, perhaps. Understanding, coming from the place she would've called typical.)
(Perspective of a fan, it was. She was intrigued in SB11's future as a killer.)
(Wouldn't be watching it though. Her time to be doing that had overstayed its welcome. Some time ago, actually, but she'd kinda just kept at it... maybe because she didn't know any better.)
(SB05, Lucille Mendoza
deceased)
(Had she started kicking and screaming, actually. Or breathing so fast that her lips and face had turned blue because she no longer actually kept the stuff she needed in her lungs long enough for it to work.)
(Might've been that she was crying, and begging for it to stop or-)
(No, like, hard to tell. Impossible, actually. Her perspective, the five plus senses that oriented and anchored her to the world around her, had all been glued to the TV screen version of herself, and like, there she was. Contestant SB05, probably ranked middle-highish coming into Season 67 depending on the pundit appraisals of her subtle but there mental deficiencies. Would she rise to the occasion, would she stumble and fall and be as much of a loser as the typical American high school teen when all their pretenses fell apart in the face of life and death... blah blah, all that.)
(She was that girl on the screen, dying now. The one she'd dismissed and commodified time and time again when it hadn't been her own neck casually splitting open, a necklace shape wound for the world's most extreme fashion statement ever.)
(She was... uh. Hard to tell. Feeling pain? Not feeling it? Could've been adrenaline numbing all the sensations but the light in her dying eyes- a light in plasma screen HD, of course- or maybe pain wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be? Not like SB05- Lucille, SB05, one and the same- had ever experienced much in the way of pain before, right? Maybe this was all there was to it. A gaping, rending, very physical sensation. But just that. Physical.)
(Pain wasn't her hopes and her dreams and her friendships evaporating all on the spot. See, she didn't even know what she was supposed to feel about that particular consequence of sucking and dying without having even scored a single kill. On some level she guessed she felt like it was all typical. The menial drama, and the fashion magazine gossip, and the best friends forever aesthetics, or whatever it was SB05 cared about in her life on this earth. It was like... she could get it back easy. Or there was always more of that to be had. Lose a few friends, no problem, she could always make more.)
(Lose a life... shit, she wasn't a cat. Her mistake, probably.)
(SB05 might've kept some look in her eyes as she went down. Not much further to go down since she'd already been actively losing control of everything below the waist with that first gunshot wound. Some dying look- contrition, disgust, shame, loathing... something softer and more humane, perhaps. Understanding, coming from the place she would've called typical.)
(Perspective of a fan, it was. She was intrigued in SB11's future as a killer.)
(Wouldn't be watching it though. Her time to be doing that had overstayed its welcome. Some time ago, actually, but she'd kinda just kept at it... maybe because she didn't know any better.)
(SB05, Lucille Mendoza
deceased)
Upcoming:
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
Second Chances V3 (deconreconfirmed):
Relations Thread!
Olivia Fischer (original handler, Maraoone)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Faith Marshal-Mackenzie (original handler, Frozen Smoke)
Memories: 1 Pregame: 1
Sayuna Lewis (original handler, Cicada)
Princess McQuillan (original handler, Cicada)
Pregame: 1
("Good riddance")
("Sorry")
("Thank fuck it's over.")
He settled for not saying anything. Just looked at Sofia. Nodded. Still said sorry. He wasn't really sure what he said- it wasn't clear. The cameras caught it, probably, but not his own memories. He... apologized to Sofia for not helping more, right? Who was he looking at when he said sorry? He wasn't sure. When if he gets out he'll need to rewatch this.
("Sorry")
("Thank fuck it's over.")
He settled for not saying anything. Just looked at Sofia. Nodded. Still said sorry. He wasn't really sure what he said- it wasn't clear. The cameras caught it, probably, but not his own memories. He... apologized to Sofia for not helping more, right? Who was he looking at when he said sorry? He wasn't sure. When if he gets out he'll need to rewatch this.
-
DerArknight
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:47 pm
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
The shiv went into Lucille's neck, and all of a sudden Sofia closed her eyes. It was an instinctual act, so fast she didn't question it.
It was only when she heard Lucille falling to the ground with a wet sound that Sofia dared to open her eyes again.
Looking at her work, one thought permeated her mind: she had done it. The thing everyone talked about whent talking about SOTF-TV. Even Sofia, never a fan of the show, knew that this was one of the most important aspects of the whole game. And now she-
She what?
It had been so easy a few moments ago, going witht he flow, feeling like a character on the show acting in accordance to some kind of script. But now that the "danger" was taken care of and the "death scene" was over, it was as if an omnipotent director had screamed "Cut!" and the script was gone. Sofia's mind started asking a lot of ugly questions.
Killing a teammate and probably losing her mentor's goodwill... for what? Getting accepted into a group she had considered to ditch not too long ago? A group that would have killed her on sight if it wasn't for her relation to James? Had this been really worth it?
What would her parents think of her?
What would James think of her?
What would her future self, assuming she lived long enough to look back at this moment with some semblance of distance, think of her?
Had she really thrown all morals out of the window and committed what in any other situation would have been a serious crime just in the name of a show she barely watched?
And why the heck were all her thoughts focussing on herself? Lucille, a human being, just died. Shouldn't she think at least a little about Lucille's family and friends who weren't in the arena and just watched her snuff out the life of a person they cared for?
Maybe she should say something into the camera? Like a short explanation about how she felt no personal grudge against Lucille, she believed Lucille had been a good person and she was sorry for-
You are not sorry.
That was the core of her troubles. Sofia figured she should at least feel some disgust about her actions. It would be the normal, logical thing to feel, right?
But somehow, the only disgust she felt was disgust about not feeling any disgust.
Vasily said something, but he might as well have been on another planet. Sofia just turned around until she faced neither him nor what was left of Lucille and kneeld down, facing the ground. Suddenly the entire content of her stomach came back to light, pouring out of her onto the floor.
It was only when she heard Lucille falling to the ground with a wet sound that Sofia dared to open her eyes again.
Looking at her work, one thought permeated her mind: she had done it. The thing everyone talked about whent talking about SOTF-TV. Even Sofia, never a fan of the show, knew that this was one of the most important aspects of the whole game. And now she-
She what?
It had been so easy a few moments ago, going witht he flow, feeling like a character on the show acting in accordance to some kind of script. But now that the "danger" was taken care of and the "death scene" was over, it was as if an omnipotent director had screamed "Cut!" and the script was gone. Sofia's mind started asking a lot of ugly questions.
Killing a teammate and probably losing her mentor's goodwill... for what? Getting accepted into a group she had considered to ditch not too long ago? A group that would have killed her on sight if it wasn't for her relation to James? Had this been really worth it?
What would her parents think of her?
What would James think of her?
What would her future self, assuming she lived long enough to look back at this moment with some semblance of distance, think of her?
Had she really thrown all morals out of the window and committed what in any other situation would have been a serious crime just in the name of a show she barely watched?
And why the heck were all her thoughts focussing on herself? Lucille, a human being, just died. Shouldn't she think at least a little about Lucille's family and friends who weren't in the arena and just watched her snuff out the life of a person they cared for?
Maybe she should say something into the camera? Like a short explanation about how she felt no personal grudge against Lucille, she believed Lucille had been a good person and she was sorry for-
You are not sorry.
That was the core of her troubles. Sofia figured she should at least feel some disgust about her actions. It would be the normal, logical thing to feel, right?
But somehow, the only disgust she felt was disgust about not feeling any disgust.
Vasily said something, but he might as well have been on another planet. Sofia just turned around until she faced neither him nor what was left of Lucille and kneeld down, facing the ground. Suddenly the entire content of her stomach came back to light, pouring out of her onto the floor.