(Cesar Perdomo, continued from Integrity)
Well, things couldn´t look more grim than right now
He was thinking that, of course, but not feeling it. He didn´t felt he had been unlucky. Actually, the unlucky ones would be the people who had got big, amazing weapons. Guns, shotguns, sharp knives, needles. Those would be the ones who had to choose between peace or war, between killing or dying, between becoming murderers or becoming victims. Between...
¡Oh, para ya! Me estas dando dolor de cabeza...
Yep, that was right, he had to stop this. Right here, right now. On this beach. It was actually a nice play to stay. It was also a nice place to die. Here, facing the waves, crashing against the shore. Here everything would be over. He would die. He wouldn´t have to make difficult choices, he wouldn´t have to think if he killed his friends or not. It would be so easy...
Just take your bandanna off... they will do it for you. You don´t even have to take care of it yourself...
And then he did it. He slowly, carefully, breathlessly, started to take it off... and then, he just left it on the sand, by his side. It looked like some sort of dead skin, peeled off from some sort of venomous snake.
A minuted or so later, the beeping started.
BEEP!
He swallowed. Hard. He didn´t felt ready for this. Nobody was ready for this. He didn´t want to die. He was supposed to live. Graduate. Go to college. Become a writer. Marry. Have kids. Die of old age. You know, the works.
BEEP!
Damn it! Why it was everything so hard? Why did he have to go this way? Whose wonderful idea had been to run a show where kids fight to the death? Who the hell was in the power? Was it the government? The media? The Illuminati? Who the hell was running this fucking town?
BEEP!
He began to think. About his family. His father, his mother. His sisters. Andrea. They would all be watching him, right there, right now. He could picture the dissapointment on their faces. He hadn´t been able to make it into the first announcement, even. Fucking hell. No, Cesar, goody two-shoes Cesar, who never had hurt anybody in his life. Who was a pothead. Who loved to write fantasy and watch at stars.
BEEP!
And then he thought about her. About his Black Swan. About Odile. What would she do after he was gone? She would probably survive, she was a fighter. A lady. An artist. A witch. She didn´t need him, she was better off alone. On her own. He would never be able to bring himself to kill her.
BEEP!
"Fuck this!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, and then, as fast as he could, grabbed his bandanna and tied it up on his head again, all the time crying while the tears fell down on his face "Fuck this! Fuck you! Fuck everyone!"
He began to pound on the sand, punching it, trying to kill it, to become one with it, to devour it, to hurt it. He tried to think about tearing someone´s nose off with his bare teeth, to think about breaking someone´s neck with all his might. He tried to think about killing, maiming, hurting, breaking...
"God damn you all!" he shouted. On the back of his head, he thought that, if somebody watched him from afar, they had to be rolling down on the floor while laughing. He looked like Charlton Heston at the end of "The Planet of the Apes", on a beach, defeated, realizing what his destiny was...
He began to laugh. And then he began to sob. And then he laughed. And then he sobbed. Alternating.
"¿Porque me tiene que pasar esto a mi?" he muttered, slowly, to himself, the tears not allowing him to see.
The Nightmare Begins
Day 1, Afternoon, Open
The Nightmare Begins
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Nadir. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
It had been around twenty minutes since he had been attempting "suicide by rule-breaking", and to be quite sincere with himself, Cesar had never felt more at ease with himself in his entire life.
It ocurred to him that he hadn´t even worried about looking inside his backpack. He just had opened it, checked on his weapon (which was lame anyway), and on his bandanna. He hadn´t even took the time to check on the other contents. Well, since he was now on his own, and nobody seemed to be around, he decided that he could perfectly take the time to search it.
Well, first the rations...
The rations on itself were modetately good. Beef jerky. Cliff Bars. Wonderbread. Saltines. Water. Coca-Cola. Cesar actually took the can of Coke, opened it inmediately, and brought it up to his lips. He was fucking thirsty. The liquid went down his throat like some sort of dark brown blessing, relieving him from his suffering. At least temporarily.
Huhummm... then the orientation items...
A map of the island and a compass. He decided to sit down to check on them. According to the map, he was right now on the part of this craphole known as "The Western Beach". It didn´t look that many people went there, even when the island was opened to the public. Well, on his mind, that made it a perfect hiding spot for him.
Flashlight with extra batteries... well, so far, so good. And here it is... you gotta be fucking kidding me...
A fucking condom. Durex brand. They actually expected them to go at it like horny rabbits then. Well, Cesar decidedly was not taking his pants off on national television. Besides, his parents would be somewhat anxious that their older boy was showing off his ass around. So, no, thank you.
Anyway, he decided to keep it on his pocket. You never knew when you would need some extra latex to clean things up...
Aha... here it is, the first aid kit. Well, at least they thought on us for something...
He had to admit that the first aid kit was very complete. They had everything that he would need in case he got wounded. Soap. Antiseptic. Scsissors. He actually took those out of the kit and then put them in his other pocket. They were not intended to be a weapon, of course, but he had to admit that, when comparing to the febreeze that he had been given, they would allow him to do more damage if he was stuck in a close-quarters situation.
And then... here we are. The outfits...
One of them was a t-shirt with the colour of the team. Cesar inmediately took his "Batman" T-shirt off and then put on the purple one. That would make him identifiable for enemies, that was right, but also it would make him identifiable for potential allies. He stuck the "Batman" T-shirt inside the backpack. And then started to look for the other outfits...
Aha... so... one Nike T-shirt... one thing is sure, I am not making those motherfuckers publicity of anything...
And then... there it was. The special treat. The outfit which they always included to make things more interesting. For fanservice or just plain laughs... he had to admit he would look quite badass in this. However, he decided to save it for later, at the moment he didn´t actually need it, and he had more important things to do at hand. Like eating or something.
Well... now we know how the odds are... but that doesn´t make it any less interesting.
It ocurred to him that he hadn´t even worried about looking inside his backpack. He just had opened it, checked on his weapon (which was lame anyway), and on his bandanna. He hadn´t even took the time to check on the other contents. Well, since he was now on his own, and nobody seemed to be around, he decided that he could perfectly take the time to search it.
Well, first the rations...
The rations on itself were modetately good. Beef jerky. Cliff Bars. Wonderbread. Saltines. Water. Coca-Cola. Cesar actually took the can of Coke, opened it inmediately, and brought it up to his lips. He was fucking thirsty. The liquid went down his throat like some sort of dark brown blessing, relieving him from his suffering. At least temporarily.
Huhummm... then the orientation items...
A map of the island and a compass. He decided to sit down to check on them. According to the map, he was right now on the part of this craphole known as "The Western Beach". It didn´t look that many people went there, even when the island was opened to the public. Well, on his mind, that made it a perfect hiding spot for him.
Flashlight with extra batteries... well, so far, so good. And here it is... you gotta be fucking kidding me...
A fucking condom. Durex brand. They actually expected them to go at it like horny rabbits then. Well, Cesar decidedly was not taking his pants off on national television. Besides, his parents would be somewhat anxious that their older boy was showing off his ass around. So, no, thank you.
Anyway, he decided to keep it on his pocket. You never knew when you would need some extra latex to clean things up...
Aha... here it is, the first aid kit. Well, at least they thought on us for something...
He had to admit that the first aid kit was very complete. They had everything that he would need in case he got wounded. Soap. Antiseptic. Scsissors. He actually took those out of the kit and then put them in his other pocket. They were not intended to be a weapon, of course, but he had to admit that, when comparing to the febreeze that he had been given, they would allow him to do more damage if he was stuck in a close-quarters situation.
And then... here we are. The outfits...
One of them was a t-shirt with the colour of the team. Cesar inmediately took his "Batman" T-shirt off and then put on the purple one. That would make him identifiable for enemies, that was right, but also it would make him identifiable for potential allies. He stuck the "Batman" T-shirt inside the backpack. And then started to look for the other outfits...
Aha... so... one Nike T-shirt... one thing is sure, I am not making those motherfuckers publicity of anything...
And then... there it was. The special treat. The outfit which they always included to make things more interesting. For fanservice or just plain laughs... he had to admit he would look quite badass in this. However, he decided to save it for later, at the moment he didn´t actually need it, and he had more important things to do at hand. Like eating or something.
Well... now we know how the odds are... but that doesn´t make it any less interesting.
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Nadir. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
It was late into the afternoon, already. The sun was about to hide, and give its space up in the heavens to a less merciful and welcoming night. Cesar wondered if maybe tonight there was going to be a full moon. That would be perfect for travelling in the night. Cesar was not really tired. He had spent the better part of the last few hours resting against a palm tree down the beach, not far from the spot where he had been checking on his "provisions".
He have had a lot of time to think. About the game. About the teams. About his responsabilities to his classmates. About what he would do if faced with a certain situation. About many things.
And, after some thinking, he had reached a conclusion. A final appeal. An ultimatum, if you will.
And he wanted to share it with someone.
Then he got on his knees, and facing the already hiding sun, began to pray.
"Padre nuestro que estas en los cielos, santificado sea tu nombre..."
Cesar had never been a religious person, exactly. Ever. Of course, like most Hispanic folks he had been raised in Catholicism, he had been baptised, he had taken his first communion at nine years of age, but he had never regarded religion as something having an important part on his life. He believed there was a God, that was for sure. But he didn´t think about Him as the bloodthirsty bastard some people made Him to be.
"Venga a nosotros tu reino..."
He had been a firm believer until he had reached fourteen years of age. Then he had snuffed religion out of the window. He became an atheist, something that horrified his mother as soon as he told her. His father, however, was more understanding, and praised Cesar´s decision. After all, the kid had his reasons to believe what he believed. Which kind of God would allow his uncle, the only one in the world who understood him, to die a horribly and painful death? And right now, at the same time, he was thinking... which kind of God would allow people to kidnap kids and throw them into a deserted island to kill each other?
Maybe it was not God who made evil happen. Maybe it was the men who populated this Earth...
"Hagase tu voluntad, tanto en la tierra como en el cielo..."
Then, a little bit later, he had started to read. At first about other religions with the same roots as his old faith. Judaism, Islam. He was actually surprised at how much similar they all were. They all had the same prophets, the same stupid rules regarding sex, slavery and alcohol. Then he started reading more about Taoism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Buddhism. And he had to admit he found himself respecting more the teachings of those Eastern folks than the ones the rabbis and priests and imams preached every day. He was somewhat tired of intolerance. He was tired of hate.
"Perdona nuestras ofensas, como tambien nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden..."
Forgiveness. To forgive was easy. To forget was not. But he had already made a decision. And he was going to carry out, even if it took his life away from him. Which was probably going to happen, in every case.
"No nos dejes caer en la tentacion, y libranos del mal..."
Ah, there it was.
"Amen"
He snapped his eyes open. He was aware that the people who had put them on this island (the producers, directors, hosts...) were probably right now monitoring and tracking every one of the movements he had made since he had woken up on this bloody hellhole. Probably also, the people who were assigned to provide advice to them... the mentors... they were listening too.
"Father, forgive me... for I have not sinned. Not yet. But I am going to sin. And I am going to do all the evil things that I can..."
Well, he had something to say, so he better might say it and then be on his way.
"Dear people of America..." Cesar started, his Hispanic accent inflating every word "I have just decided, right now, on taking a stand. Right here, right now... the situation is this. I am trapped on an island with another sixty-five kids. Although if you are watching this shit, you probably already know that. In the best of cases, probably me and another four kids will go back home. That if we don´t count that probably someone could get a ticket for free if he or she murders ten people, but we can drop that for the moment..."
He didn´t want to extend too much. He knew that people tended to disconnect if he drew on a monologue, which, unfortunately for him, was often. He just talked too much. But he couldn´t risk losing his audience. He had to keep them interested.
"I am going to survive, people..." he began to talk again "I am going to find my teammates, and then I am going to support them if they decide to kill to survive. I am not going to kill anyone. Not with my own hands. But I wouldn´t mind if they decided to kill someone. I am not going to have my hands covered in blood, but I am gonna get out of this shit..."
He then smiled. A sincere, frank, smile. Nothing that looked like taken from the cover of a "slasher" movie.
"Mom,Dad,girls... sorry" he said "If someone tries to kill me, then I would have to off them too. Sorry, but it´s survival instinct. Now, if you allow me, I am going to take off. I have some people to meet... you may follow my tale if you want. But I always would prefer to walk this path alone... who would walk it with me?"
With that final question left up in the air, he threw his bag over his shoulder, and then set off for parts unknown.
(Cesar Perdomo, continued on Room Service).
He have had a lot of time to think. About the game. About the teams. About his responsabilities to his classmates. About what he would do if faced with a certain situation. About many things.
And, after some thinking, he had reached a conclusion. A final appeal. An ultimatum, if you will.
And he wanted to share it with someone.
Then he got on his knees, and facing the already hiding sun, began to pray.
"Padre nuestro que estas en los cielos, santificado sea tu nombre..."
Cesar had never been a religious person, exactly. Ever. Of course, like most Hispanic folks he had been raised in Catholicism, he had been baptised, he had taken his first communion at nine years of age, but he had never regarded religion as something having an important part on his life. He believed there was a God, that was for sure. But he didn´t think about Him as the bloodthirsty bastard some people made Him to be.
"Venga a nosotros tu reino..."
He had been a firm believer until he had reached fourteen years of age. Then he had snuffed religion out of the window. He became an atheist, something that horrified his mother as soon as he told her. His father, however, was more understanding, and praised Cesar´s decision. After all, the kid had his reasons to believe what he believed. Which kind of God would allow his uncle, the only one in the world who understood him, to die a horribly and painful death? And right now, at the same time, he was thinking... which kind of God would allow people to kidnap kids and throw them into a deserted island to kill each other?
Maybe it was not God who made evil happen. Maybe it was the men who populated this Earth...
"Hagase tu voluntad, tanto en la tierra como en el cielo..."
Then, a little bit later, he had started to read. At first about other religions with the same roots as his old faith. Judaism, Islam. He was actually surprised at how much similar they all were. They all had the same prophets, the same stupid rules regarding sex, slavery and alcohol. Then he started reading more about Taoism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Buddhism. And he had to admit he found himself respecting more the teachings of those Eastern folks than the ones the rabbis and priests and imams preached every day. He was somewhat tired of intolerance. He was tired of hate.
"Perdona nuestras ofensas, como tambien nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden..."
Forgiveness. To forgive was easy. To forget was not. But he had already made a decision. And he was going to carry out, even if it took his life away from him. Which was probably going to happen, in every case.
"No nos dejes caer en la tentacion, y libranos del mal..."
Ah, there it was.
"Amen"
He snapped his eyes open. He was aware that the people who had put them on this island (the producers, directors, hosts...) were probably right now monitoring and tracking every one of the movements he had made since he had woken up on this bloody hellhole. Probably also, the people who were assigned to provide advice to them... the mentors... they were listening too.
"Father, forgive me... for I have not sinned. Not yet. But I am going to sin. And I am going to do all the evil things that I can..."
Well, he had something to say, so he better might say it and then be on his way.
"Dear people of America..." Cesar started, his Hispanic accent inflating every word "I have just decided, right now, on taking a stand. Right here, right now... the situation is this. I am trapped on an island with another sixty-five kids. Although if you are watching this shit, you probably already know that. In the best of cases, probably me and another four kids will go back home. That if we don´t count that probably someone could get a ticket for free if he or she murders ten people, but we can drop that for the moment..."
He didn´t want to extend too much. He knew that people tended to disconnect if he drew on a monologue, which, unfortunately for him, was often. He just talked too much. But he couldn´t risk losing his audience. He had to keep them interested.
"I am going to survive, people..." he began to talk again "I am going to find my teammates, and then I am going to support them if they decide to kill to survive. I am not going to kill anyone. Not with my own hands. But I wouldn´t mind if they decided to kill someone. I am not going to have my hands covered in blood, but I am gonna get out of this shit..."
He then smiled. A sincere, frank, smile. Nothing that looked like taken from the cover of a "slasher" movie.
"Mom,Dad,girls... sorry" he said "If someone tries to kill me, then I would have to off them too. Sorry, but it´s survival instinct. Now, if you allow me, I am going to take off. I have some people to meet... you may follow my tale if you want. But I always would prefer to walk this path alone... who would walk it with me?"
With that final question left up in the air, he threw his bag over his shoulder, and then set off for parts unknown.
(Cesar Perdomo, continued on Room Service).
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Nadir. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.