I'm Not Here to Make Friends

[Laurels]

((CJ3: Asa Rosen: Start))

Asa was cold. He hated being cold. It was something he enjoyed about living in New Mexico. Even though it could get blistering hot and there was sand everywhere, he didn't have to feel cold during the winter time. At the least, if it got cold, he could put on a hoodie and be fine. Going into December had been fine with the weather, but now he was cold.

Asa opened his eyes and noticed the ceiling above him. He was in a building, but he didn't know what kind of building, just that it was really fucking cold. Asa tried to lift his head, placing his hand on the floor to steady himself. As he did, he felt his hand slip out from under him, causing his head to fall back onto the floor. He let out a short curse.

Asa rolled over onto his side, getting a better view of the room. As he did, he squinted his eyes and furrowed his brow. He was in an ice rink. Not only that, but he was dumped right in the middle of the rink. Asa tried again to sit up, making sure he wouldn't slip and hit his head again. He was on TV now, and he couldn't make himself look like a complete dumbass right out of the gate.

He took a look at the ice rink. There were no ice skates by him, but there was a bag. Supplies would be good. They could determine how long he'd last in this game. He studied SOTF plenty, and he knew whatever was in the bag could mean life or death. He pulled the bag onto his lap and began to search through.

I swear, if they gave me something dumb like a pink parasol or a can of computer cleaner, I will lose it. Wait, what the fuck?

Asa found a wooden handle and pulled it out. His eyes widened as he looked at the blade. It was large, flat, and quite sharp looking. There was a piece of paper with it. "Fiskars Brush Axe." He continued to stare at it.

"Well," he muttered, "if I need to chop some bamboo down for my pandas, I should be good. Still, can't carry this while on the ice. That's a sure fire way to end up with a Darwin Award."

Asa put the axe back in the bag. He then noticed the bandanna around his wrist. He took a quick look at it, ensuring he didn't remove it. It was a blue color, and he was able to make out a jellyfish shape. He groaned and looked up.

"If this is your way of calling me spineless, producers of this show," he said aloud, sure there was a camera to pick this up, "then hardy har har, you should pat yourselves on the back for being so clever. Tell me when you can count to ten and I'll be really impressed."

Once the bandanna was around his wrist, Asa sealed his bag. He had to get out of the rink. He slowly stood up, trying to ensure he didn't slip. He kept his arms to the side in an attempt to balance his weight.

Don't make an ass of yourself. Don't make an ass of yourself.

Asa finally was able to stand straight. He looked around. He was right in the middle of the rink, and there looked to be an exit to a far side of it. He closed his eyes and sighed.

I'm probably going to make an ass of myself. This will get me on the highlight reel of hilarious moments from Season 66. Goddammit.

Asa slowly moved one foot along the icy floor, ensuring he didn't lift it off the ground. He sighed in relief. He was still standing.

"If anyone laughs at what's about to happen, I'll personally visit you when this game is over and show you my new steel friend."

Asa shook the bag in his hand. He hoped they got the message. He didn't think the SOTF viewing audience had a high collective intelligence level, but he prayed they wouldn't be too amused by a fatass slipping on ice.

Let's get this over with.

[Polybius]

((AE4: Brendan O'Toole - Start))

"This is fuckin' stupid."

Brendan O'Toole was standing in front of some weird looking fairy-tale castle. The map had helpfully informed him that it was the "Ice Palace", but it didn't tell him why the fuck it was there in the first place. It looked like something out of Disneyland, not something that belonged in some Hawaii type resort.

Of course, he wasn't in Hawaii. If he was in Hawaii he wouldn't be freezing his ass off. Brendan wasn't used to the cold. It could get cold in Albuquerque, but nothing like this. This felt more like when he'd visited his Uncle Jeff in Minnesota for Christmas. He sure as hell wasn't dressed for the cold. He'd put on his amber-colored t-shirt over his black shirt, but it was still freezing.

Brendan held his rolled-up garrote wire in his right hand. According to the manual, it could be used to sneak up behind someone and strangle them, or even cut through the arteries in their neck. It was useless in a real fight, though. Brendan wasn't just going to up and murder his friends just because Patrick Buckley told him to, so it was pretty shitty luck that he got a weapon that could only be used for murder and not self-defense. He wasn't even stealthy enough to use it, anyway.  

Brendan looked over the Ice Palace before chuckling to himself. It was stupid looking, and it was probably a terrible place to enter if he wanted shelter from the cold. But it couldn't hurt to check it out, just to see what was inside.

When Brendan entered the palace, he found himself in some sort of imitation of a snowy village. As he walked through the village, he found himself at the edge of a large ice rink. Brendan had no idea how to skate, and he usually would have paid no mind to the rink, but there was something that caught his interest. Asa Rosen was standing right in the middle of the rink, moving at a snail's pace across the ice.

Brendan grinned and leaned over the edge of the rink. "Hey, Asa!" he shouted, "What are you doin' out there? You alright, man? You need help?"

[Laurels]

Asa had gotten at least two or three feet away from where he started without slipping on the ice. It was a good start for what would be an arduous and embarrassing task. He had to keep his breathing steady as he attempted to walk across the ice. He had a few near slips, but he managed to recover, even though it often meant his heart nearly stopped beating a few times.

Asa got his feet back together and stood in place, sighing as he froze in place. They were probably laughing at him. All those idiots who tuned in to watch this show. They were probably placing bets on whether or not he would fall with each step. It made him sick to think about it.

Well, the sooner you get off, the quicker you can get those assholes off your radar.

Asa began to slowly move his left foot. He looked down, ensuring he could move his foot a few inches before he moved the next one. As he did, he heard a voice call out to him.

Asa froze in place, gritting his teeth as he stopped. He looked up and saw Brendan O'Toole at the edge of the rink. He groaned in frustration.

"Great," he muttered to himself. "Brendan the Toole just had to break my concentration."

Still, he needed to respond to the troglodyte who decided to gawk at him.

"Oh, I'm just swell!" he shouted at his classmate. "Just decided to go ice skating without any skates! It's no biggie!"

Asa started to move his right foot towards his left one.

"Clearly, someone in this game had a sick sense of humor and decided to toss my unconscious body off a Zamboni. I guess they took one look at me and decided I was fit to humili-AAAAGH!"

Asa felt his entire view suddenly drop a few inches. As he moved his right foot forward, his left foot had moved slightly forward as a result, hitting a slick spot on the ice. Because of this, his left leg had suddenly slid forward, causing his entire body weight to lose balance and drop. He fell on his right knee, keeping his left leg outstretched. He placed his hands on the ice in order to try and keep his body upright. He wasn't a very limber guy, and stretches weren't something he practiced a lot.

"FUCK!" he shouted out loud as he felt the sting from his left leg.

Asa began to shift his weight as he tried to get back up. He needed to get off this damn rink as soon as possible.

"DON'T FUCKING LAUGH!" he shouted as he pulled his legs close together.

[jimmydalad]

((TB1 - Erik Sheely Start))

It took some time for Erik to come to his senses. Groggily waking up in what seemed like a middle of a winter wonderland, he sat up and tried to think about just how he got into this situation in the first place. After a few moments of drifting through hazy memories, he suddenly remembered how he got here in the first place.

His expression turned grim at the realization that he was in SOTF. While a casual fan at best, he never really followed the series nor did he pay specific attention to it. He almost regretted not doing so, as information about what the hell to do now would be very much appreciated. Looking around, he saw the weapon that he got given.

Well it was better than getting something stupid. Moving his hands over towards it, Erik gripped the thing in his hands. They weren't like a normal baseball bat, but it looked like it would be used for hitting something. It looked pretty sturdy as well and with the bulk that Erik had on his side, he was sure he could wield the item pretty easily.

At the sound of voices, Erik stopped moving. The voice sounded somewhat familiar. Keeping somewhat low, he crawled behind some cover and peeked over towards where the voices originated from. At the edge of the rink was Brendan, a fellow student from the football team that he had helped with history once. While they had managed to get it done, Erik didn't talk to him much afterwards, but he did get suddenly shy when he was around him, afraid that he would look stupid.

After a moment, another more angry voice reverberated around the ice place he was in. Judging from what Brendan had said before, the kid's name was Asa and probably from the same school as them. From hearing his voice, Erik realized that he was that boy from debating who spent most of the time from what Erik heard insulting or generally saying awful things about other people. He tended to stay away from him, not wanting to draw any of his ire.

Erik stayed seated behind the table and chairs, not really wanting to be noticed. Asa did not sound happy at all and while he didn't know what weapon he had, he'd rather not have to deal with someone that volatile in a place such as this.

[Polybius]

Brendan's smile dropped at Asa's reply. Brendan didn't remember Asa being too friendly from the few classes they had shared, but he didn't expect him to be that angry. He guessed it was understandable given the situation, but he still didn't like being yelled at.

Brendan winced as Asa fell. "I'm not gonna laugh!" he shouted, "I'm not some asshole, I'm just trying to help!"

Brendan slowly stepped onto the ice but only managed to take two steps before he slipped.  Luckily, he managed to grab the barrier with his left hand, using it to hold himself in place. Yeah, he wouldn't be much help.

"Do you think can just, like, crawl over or something?"

[Laurels]

Asa rubbed his knee. He probably had a bruise on it from his little tumble. The Toole said he wasn't going to laugh at it, but Asa felt his tone was a little jokey. Of course, the dumbass then had to try and come out on the ice to help him. What was with this guy? Did he expect he could glide over the ice like Tara Lipinski? Besides, even if Toolio Iglesias wasn't going to laugh, America probably was.

Toole Time then suggested that Asa just crawl out of the ice. Asa sat there quietly. While his exterior gave off a calm, somewhat pissed look, inside a greater war raged on. "Why didn't you think of that?" "Why did you let yourself make yourself look like an idiot on television?" "How is that jock smarter than you right now?" He would have been more angry, but his ass was getting cold, and Toole Box was right.

"Sure!" he said, throwing his hands up. "Let's try that!"

Asa grabbed the bag and put it over his shoulders. Giving the students backpacks was a good move, since it meant he wouldn't have to worry about losing the bag in the process. Asa got on his knees and began to crawl over the ice. The ice sort of numbed the bruise on his knee, but not by much. He continued to groan as he started crawling across the ice. His right hand slipped forward as he continued to crawl, but he managed to prevent himself from falling face first onto the ice. He groaned louder and continued his crawl.

"No one better be laughing at this," he muttered to himself.

[jimmydalad]

Erik continued to stay hidden behind the chairs and table, hoping not to be noticed. Owing to the situation of the game, he doubted that making his presence known now would be a particularly good idea. He wasn't sure whether or not they were on the same team, but even if they were, Erik wasn't really sure whether or not he wanted to be with other people.

The bandanna was tied prominently on his head, with a tan color background with a bat on it. He didn't really think about where else to tie it and thought it might look nice on his head. Maybe it was better not to rely on other people though. He pondered it for a moment, twisting the bat in his hands. Was it better having a numbers disadvantage or trying to move around in a big group and being forced to rely on each other? Maybe it would be better to know who his allies were first.

Asa and Brendan were still talking, with Brendan giving a suggestion that made Erik laugh quietly to himself. He sorta wished that he wasn't trying to be inconspicuous, just so he could see just what was going on. The image of a kid slipping about on ice and then crawling across it did look really funny to him.

As he was laughing to himself though, he adjusted his body and caused one of the chairs to move. The chair creaked loudly and immediately, Erik stopped laughing. His body turned rigid as he realized he probably just gave up his position to Brendan and perhaps more worryingly, Asa.

[Polybius]

"Okay, this'll work."

Asa looked kinda silly crawling across the ice, but at least he was moving. Brendan was watching him when he suddenly heard a large creaking sound coming from one behind.

Someone else was there. The idea of someone spying on them made Brendan tense up for the first time since he had awoken. He carefully stepped out of the rink and unfurled his garrote wire.

"I'll be back in a sec." he said. He crept towards a table where the sound had came from. He held out his weapon, one handle in each hand, trying to make his stupid wire look as threatening as possible.

As he got closer to the table he was able to see someone hiding behind it. It was Erik, a cheerleader who had helped him with a history project a few weeks earlier. He was armed with some sort of bat. Brendan had no idea how long he'd been there, but he'd probably already had a chance to attack Brendan if he wanted to, and he'd definitely already had a chance to leave if he wanted to avoid them.

"Hey," he said "Why're you hidin' down there?"

[Laurels]

Asa continued to crawl across his ice. By this point, his hands and knees felt numb from touching the ice. He continued to groan and curse under his breath as he crawled across the ice. He had slipped a few times, but was a lot better at catching himself before he hit the ground. He still needed all his teeth, and he wasn't ready to give them up so he could drink everything through a straw. He was going to get out in one piece.

He heard Toole Belt say he was going to check on something. Asa didn't really care that much. Toolia Child could go do whatever he wanted to do. Asa didn't really care as long as it kept him out of trouble. While he was gone, Asa finally reached the edge of the rink and pulled himself off the ice.

Asa laid on the floor for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of solid, non-slippery ground. He didn't waste too much time before standing up. He sighed in relief.

Good. Now I don't have to do anything humiliating ever again.

Asa removed his bag from one shoulder and reached in, pulling out the brush axe. Now that he was free of the rink, he could properly arm himself. This was still SOTF, and there was still a chance he could die. Tooledo Ohio may not have shot him from a distance, but Asa had no real reason to stick around. Only one person could survive, and he didn't trust the Davison class to work together to ensure a team victory. Besides, no one would want to spend time with him unless the other Jellyfishes decided they wanted a team victory and had the weaponry and tactics to ensure it. He would probably be better on his own, doing whatever he felt was best.

Asa walked away from the rink, heading towards the exit of the Ice Palace. He wasn't sure where he'd go now, but he knew he didn't want to have to deal with the cold of the ice rink for as long as he lived.

As he opened the door, he felt a chilly gust of wind slightly knock him back. He gritted his teeth as he forced his way outside into the cold and ironic Oregon outdoors.

"Ack. I hate this show," he said as he walked outside.

This game was a sick joke, and he was not amused.

((CJ3: Asa Rosen continued in Summer Bitch VS Cherry Boy))

[jimmydalad]

Erik continued to stay hidden, hoping that maybe the other two kids didn't notice the creaking. When he heard Brendan saying he'll be back though, he realized that his cover was blown. He decided to stay hidden though, hoping beyond hope that maybe he was checking out something else that wasn't related to him like something he had seen that got his attention or something.

Unfortunately, his desires were unfounded as he heard Brendan addressing him. He felt the grip on the bat tighten, muscles tensing slightly as he realized he was caught in a somewhat uncompromising position. Looking up towards him, he saw that he had a wire in between his two hands, probably his weapon.

"I uhh I mean I..." Erik started, shifting awkwardly for a moment on the floor. He looked down to the floor and blushed slightly. He probably looked really silly right now, so he started to make movements to stand up, still keeping hold of the bat in his two hands.

"I guess I uhhh didn't really want to be noticed I-I guess." Erik admitted somewhat awkwardly, looking down at the floor. He wasn't really sure what else there was to say for the moment, as she shifted between which foot was supporting his weight.

At that moment, he looked around to see where Asa was. Wait a minute, where was Asa? He expected him to be behind Brendan or something, but instead he was completely gone. Vanished, just like that.

"Hey, where's Asa?" Erik quickly asked, hoping to shift the topic away from why he was hiding.

[Polybius]

Erik's stuttering made Brendan let down his guard. The guy didn't look threatening in the least, even with his bat.

Brendan raised an eyebrow at Erik's question. "Uh, Asa's on the ice..."

He turned around. He didn't see Asa. He walked back to the ice rink. Asa wasn't there.

"Asa? You there?" he shouted. No reply.

He ditched him. That Asahole got off the ice and just left. Not even a "Thank you for helping me, Brendan!" Just gone.

"Fuuuuuuck him. Goddammit..."

[jimmydalad]

Erik stood sheepishly in front of Brendan, not wanting to say anything more to irritate the guy. He didn't seem to take the news of Asa leaving too well and he didn't really know what else to do in the situation he had found himself in.

"What do you want to do?" Erik asked Brendan, waiting for an answer to a question that probably sounded really dumb. He probably shouldn't really be trusting Brendan with this, after all, this was SOTF and he was on another team. It was pretty clear to him that any hopes for a long term alliance would be paramount to suicide if Brendan was able to find his allies first.

He probably was better off going on his own. That way, he didn't need to get others involved in the things that he had to do. The problem was though, he was caught hiding by Brendan and he wasn't really sure what he wanted to do. It wasn't like he could say no. He could, and probably would, overpower him should the need ever arise.

He needed to wait for the right time to get away or at the very least, find some other people on his team. The former option was probably something that sounded more appealing to him as he didn't really know who his alliance members were or if they were people Erik could trust.

He started to subtly twist the bat in his hands, waiting for a response from the football player.

[Polybius]

What did he want to do?

"Man, I don't know. i don't have a real plan. I figured I'd just look for some of my friends from Davison- y'know, the people I can trust. And then..."

And then what?

"And then we'd figure something out." Brendan moved his hands to his neck and started feeling around his collar. "I mean, they put in ways to take these things off, right? That stuff gets ratings."

But how often did that actually happen?

Brendan's hands dropped to his sides. He turned away from Erik and let his gaze drift across the fake village.

"So I'm just gonna wander around for now. You can come, if you want..."

[jimmydalad]

Erik silently disapproved of Brendan's ideas. He wasn't sure if looking for their classmates was a good idea considering the show they were in. It was Survival of the Fittest and he was pretty sure that there were quite a few kids who wanted that moment of fame or who would go down the path that Karen did to "win" the game. Did Erik want to risk allying with those people? Probably not.

He tapped the top of his bat, not saying his opinions, but having a look of concern on his face. Who were the people that Brendan 'trusted'? Probably his friends from football or something. He didn't want to see how Brendan would react when he realized he needed to kill his friends if they were on the enemy team. That was going to be a harsh reality check for him.

"I think I want to stay." Erik responded, strengthening his posture and looking around the area. The place had a lot of places to hide as well as cover. He could stay out here for sometime, at least until the place got called a danger zone. He didn't want to look for people. He wanted to stay safe, hopefully slip through people's attention and then make a comeback or something. If he didn't have to use his energy, he wasn't going to.

"I guess t-this is goodbye?" Erik asked sheepishly, looking down at the floor and blushing. He didn't want Brendan to die, but he doubted he could sway his opinion. He chose to stay silent instead, like he was used to doing his life.

[Polybius]

"Oh. Okay."

What were you supposed to say to someone when one of you was probably going to die before you met again?

"Well, uh... yeah, that's goodbye. Good luck, man."

Brendan headed towards the exit. He opened the door, took a look around, and exited the building.

((Brendan O'Toole continued in Deliver Us))