"I can do that..."
"Don't seem like we got anyone else who'd listen to us, anyways."
You Think That You're Space Ghost, You're Wanted Coast to Coast
??? Like five minutes after C-WALK
Moderator: SOTF Supers Staff
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
"... Yeah. You're probably right. Especially if how shit shook out with Ximena is any indication."
“Yeah. I figured, ‘y’know we’re out. Shit’d be different.’ Like, it should be, right?
‘Hey, we’re all fucked up and we killed people.’ You’d, y-you think we’d all be on the same page on that, but no, it’s only okay when they do it.
Like, I think for a moment Claudia got it. And I got, like I don’t know hopeful, or like a little bit angry coz’ things woulda been easier if people got it earlier and-
She went through the same thing I did with Anatoly. But I went through it multiple times, and in between them nobody fucking listened then and I-was almost there, I just wanted to explain…”
“I almost got someone to understand, but that fucking bitch Ximena called me a fucking liar and left. Didn’t even explain herself, just said that shit like she was there with me the entire time, like she saw Moose, or Gary or that the only reason Alan’s still here is coz I didn’t tell him to fuck off and leave him there for Ray, and I’m supposed to just owe her an explanation she ain’t gonna listen to anyways and-
Claudia probably trusts her more because she drove us out of here, so now that ain’t happening.”
‘Hey, we’re all fucked up and we killed people.’ You’d, y-you think we’d all be on the same page on that, but no, it’s only okay when they do it.
Like, I think for a moment Claudia got it. And I got, like I don’t know hopeful, or like a little bit angry coz’ things woulda been easier if people got it earlier and-
She went through the same thing I did with Anatoly. But I went through it multiple times, and in between them nobody fucking listened then and I-was almost there, I just wanted to explain…”
“I almost got someone to understand, but that fucking bitch Ximena called me a fucking liar and left. Didn’t even explain herself, just said that shit like she was there with me the entire time, like she saw Moose, or Gary or that the only reason Alan’s still here is coz I didn’t tell him to fuck off and leave him there for Ray, and I’m supposed to just owe her an explanation she ain’t gonna listen to anyways and-
Claudia probably trusts her more because she drove us out of here, so now that ain’t happening.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
“Fuck that bitch, she don’t know shit. Call me a fucking liar, I ain’t lied once this entire fucking time.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
"... Well, you didn't need to call her a bitch."
Something on the other side of the door audibly shifted around.
"From what I caught of that whole shitstorm, she was mostly pissed at you flinging Alan under the bus. And while I don't think you're lying, I think you're wrong about him. Didn't he come back for your sorry ass?"
Something on the other side of the door audibly shifted around.
"From what I caught of that whole shitstorm, she was mostly pissed at you flinging Alan under the bus. And while I don't think you're lying, I think you're wrong about him. Didn't he come back for your sorry ass?"
…
“He did. But that don’t change that he left me and Moose in the first place. I’m supposed to just, just like fucking trust people when they come back because they tell me it’s gonna be okay? That it just, that erased everything else I’ve been through, that it fixed my face, it brought Moose back. Brought back everyone I killed right?”
“Yeah. This the shit right here, that- fuck I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s everyone else, but I don’t get it. It happens to me, I’m supposed to be like water under the bridge. Happens to anyone else, and it’s a fuckin’ tragedy that could’ve been avoided, and it’s all my fault and it’s like-“
“Just about everyone I knew wanted to kill me, or hurt me, or- even Jenelle wanted me dead. The only person who’d back me up burned to death. You tell me, should I believe people when they say they want to help? Who’s to say Alan only found me because he needed someone to protect him until help came or- the fucking game ended. He wasn’t- he wasn’t there when I fucking needed it! He didn’t believe me then, fucking nobody did!”
“Who’s to say he only got involved with Ray because he was next in line after me?”
“I don’t know man. You tell me. Because it seems like I’m only here because people want something from me, or want to do something to me.”
“He did. But that don’t change that he left me and Moose in the first place. I’m supposed to just, just like fucking trust people when they come back because they tell me it’s gonna be okay? That it just, that erased everything else I’ve been through, that it fixed my face, it brought Moose back. Brought back everyone I killed right?”
“Yeah. This the shit right here, that- fuck I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s everyone else, but I don’t get it. It happens to me, I’m supposed to be like water under the bridge. Happens to anyone else, and it’s a fuckin’ tragedy that could’ve been avoided, and it’s all my fault and it’s like-“
“Just about everyone I knew wanted to kill me, or hurt me, or- even Jenelle wanted me dead. The only person who’d back me up burned to death. You tell me, should I believe people when they say they want to help? Who’s to say Alan only found me because he needed someone to protect him until help came or- the fucking game ended. He wasn’t- he wasn’t there when I fucking needed it! He didn’t believe me then, fucking nobody did!”
“Who’s to say he only got involved with Ray because he was next in line after me?”
“I don’t know man. You tell me. Because it seems like I’m only here because people want something from me, or want to do something to me.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
"Don't misunderstand me. You don't actually need to forgive him. Frankly, I'm fucking awful at turning the other cheek or whatever."
He sighed.
"What I'm saying is that... like, you say people are uncharitable with you. Hell, a lot of them probably are. But that's also kind of a two way street. Alan lost Moose too, y'know? I know it fucking devestated him. So did... Jenelle..."
His voice caught.
"Look... if you wanna go on hating him, you're free to. It does sound like he probably owes you an apology - and even if he gives it, you hardly need to accept it. But you're being kind of a shit about it right now. Alan's a fuckhead, but I don't think he'd have bothered coming back to you if he didn't still give at least a bit of a shit."
He sighed.
"What I'm saying is that... like, you say people are uncharitable with you. Hell, a lot of them probably are. But that's also kind of a two way street. Alan lost Moose too, y'know? I know it fucking devestated him. So did... Jenelle..."
His voice caught.
"Look... if you wanna go on hating him, you're free to. It does sound like he probably owes you an apology - and even if he gives it, you hardly need to accept it. But you're being kind of a shit about it right now. Alan's a fuckhead, but I don't think he'd have bothered coming back to you if he didn't still give at least a bit of a shit."
“Maybe. Probably. I don’t- I don’t fucking know anymore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know what people want from me.”
“I don’t even know why I’m still here. I didn’t choose any of this shit- FUCK!”
“Man, I just… I was just ‘here’. I let everyone choose for me and I just went with it. I never had the opportunity to think, or to do for myself. I just… react and see where it took me.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I guess I didn’t back then either.”
“I just… react.”
“I don’t even know why I’m still here. I didn’t choose any of this shit- FUCK!”
“Man, I just… I was just ‘here’. I let everyone choose for me and I just went with it. I never had the opportunity to think, or to do for myself. I just… react and see where it took me.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I guess I didn’t back then either.”
“I just… react.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
"... Shit, man. I dunno what to tell you."
Bare feet shuffled awkwardly on the tile outside the stall.
"I hope you figure shit out, though. You and the others... you don't really get to live for yourselves anymore, y'know? It'd suck immensely for you to make it and just end up dead or in jail. Kind of a slap in the face to everyone who's gone."
His voice softened a bit.
"So, y'know... you don't have to get over it, but you do have to get on with it. Eventually, anyway. I know it's not quite that easy."
Bare feet shuffled awkwardly on the tile outside the stall.
"I hope you figure shit out, though. You and the others... you don't really get to live for yourselves anymore, y'know? It'd suck immensely for you to make it and just end up dead or in jail. Kind of a slap in the face to everyone who's gone."
His voice softened a bit.
"So, y'know... you don't have to get over it, but you do have to get on with it. Eventually, anyway. I know it's not quite that easy."
“Suppose so. Damn, really feels like nothing changed, at least that’s my perceptions.”
“… If it ain’t my business it ain’t my business, but what happened between you and Ray?”
“Why’d he; y’know?”
Kill you?
“…Flip out like that? I thought y’all’s was friends?”
“… If it ain’t my business it ain’t my business, but what happened between you and Ray?”
“Why’d he; y’know?”
Kill you?
“…Flip out like that? I thought y’all’s was friends?”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
He was silent for a moment.
"I wish I knew."
The ache in his voice was undeniable.
"All I know is, after he... killed Sayuna, I fucking hated him. More than I even hated you. I wanted him dead, and I wanted to do the honors personally."
He breathed in and out, heavy and slow. It sounded like he was about to cry.
"And now he's gone, and I wish he wasn't. I wish I understood what the fuck even happened to him. I... I still hate him, but I miss him. The real him, not the... thing he was, at the end."
"I wish I knew."
The ache in his voice was undeniable.
"All I know is, after he... killed Sayuna, I fucking hated him. More than I even hated you. I wanted him dead, and I wanted to do the honors personally."
He breathed in and out, heavy and slow. It sounded like he was about to cry.
"And now he's gone, and I wish he wasn't. I wish I understood what the fuck even happened to him. I... I still hate him, but I miss him. The real him, not the... thing he was, at the end."
“Shit, didn’t know what I was expecting there.”
Crispin stared at the stall door.
“I’ll take your word that the real him wasn’t the fucking- whatever he was when he attacked. I don’t know how much I can say that for the others.”
“I feel like we both probably saw a lot of the ‘real’ versions of our class in the game, awful as it sounds.”
“I know at least I did.”
Crispin stared at the stall door.
“I’ll take your word that the real him wasn’t the fucking- whatever he was when he attacked. I don’t know how much I can say that for the others.”
“I feel like we both probably saw a lot of the ‘real’ versions of our class in the game, awful as it sounds.”
“I know at least I did.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
"... hm."
More sounds of fidgeting, hidden by the door between them.
"Maybe... well, I dunno. I don't think what someone is at their worst is entirely what they are. And some folks... they surprised me. I saw awful shit, but... not everyone was so bad."
A resigned sigh. He turned away from the door.
"Maybe I'm just making excuses, though. I'm... not innocent, after all."
More sounds of fidgeting, hidden by the door between them.
"Maybe... well, I dunno. I don't think what someone is at their worst is entirely what they are. And some folks... they surprised me. I saw awful shit, but... not everyone was so bad."
A resigned sigh. He turned away from the door.
"Maybe I'm just making excuses, though. I'm... not innocent, after all."
"I'm not either."
...
"Don't know if that it means more or less though. But I seen enough. Not even you, you ain't even bad compared to the straight up evil shit I seen people do. Our fucking class. A lot of us went into this shit ready to go, they wanted to play along."
"Worst thing about them is that they try to find excuses, try to pretend that there was a reason for them to do what they did. There wasn't. They just wanted to kill. Mercy. Kaine. Ray. Probably Astrid with the way she talked about killing people like it was no big deal for her. Like it's a fucking video game, like people are keeping score and-"
"At least you were upfront with the whole 'wanting me dead' shit. These other motherfuckers came up with all sorts of excuses as to why they had to go first. Because of bitch ass Lincoln, even though her stupid ass got him killed too. Because of Toma, even though Kaine forgot about him before he was even cold, he liked you better. Fucking Ray was talking like he had no other choice, he had nothing to lose and- He just felt like eating us, so fuck it, yolo I guess."
"Thats the difference between me and them. I warned them. Don't fucking do it. Don't start shit. Ain't none of them listened. Hell, maybe I started the shit with Toma and Andrew, but I told them straight up this fight was between me and Kaine, and I wasn't gonna kill nobody. They still tried to waste me. Like-"
"Yeah, maybe I'm the fucking worst here, but I never wanted this shit. They did."
...
"Don't know if that it means more or less though. But I seen enough. Not even you, you ain't even bad compared to the straight up evil shit I seen people do. Our fucking class. A lot of us went into this shit ready to go, they wanted to play along."
"Worst thing about them is that they try to find excuses, try to pretend that there was a reason for them to do what they did. There wasn't. They just wanted to kill. Mercy. Kaine. Ray. Probably Astrid with the way she talked about killing people like it was no big deal for her. Like it's a fucking video game, like people are keeping score and-"
"At least you were upfront with the whole 'wanting me dead' shit. These other motherfuckers came up with all sorts of excuses as to why they had to go first. Because of bitch ass Lincoln, even though her stupid ass got him killed too. Because of Toma, even though Kaine forgot about him before he was even cold, he liked you better. Fucking Ray was talking like he had no other choice, he had nothing to lose and- He just felt like eating us, so fuck it, yolo I guess."
"Thats the difference between me and them. I warned them. Don't fucking do it. Don't start shit. Ain't none of them listened. Hell, maybe I started the shit with Toma and Andrew, but I told them straight up this fight was between me and Kaine, and I wasn't gonna kill nobody. They still tried to waste me. Like-"
"Yeah, maybe I'm the fucking worst here, but I never wanted this shit. They did."
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
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almostinhuman
- Posts: 647
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
He listened without comment. The only interruption was a sharp intake of breath at the mention of Kaine.
"... Kaine did care about Toma." He sounded more than a bit defensive. "Regardless of how he felt about me, I don't doubt Toma's death utterly crushed him. And I didn't know Mercy and Lincoln well, but I know what it's like to want to protect your family out there... and I know what it's like to fail miserably at it, too. I don't think any of that excuses anyone. I don't think there's any good excuse for any of it, really. But I don't think they're just excuses, either."
He turned back to the stall door.
"... do you mind if I confess something to you?"
"... Kaine did care about Toma." He sounded more than a bit defensive. "Regardless of how he felt about me, I don't doubt Toma's death utterly crushed him. And I didn't know Mercy and Lincoln well, but I know what it's like to want to protect your family out there... and I know what it's like to fail miserably at it, too. I don't think any of that excuses anyone. I don't think there's any good excuse for any of it, really. But I don't think they're just excuses, either."
He turned back to the stall door.
"... do you mind if I confess something to you?"