“Well, if this is all there is, then so be it...”
Vasily was right. The only people who were around to judge them were other people who’d make the same decisions or worse. If there were an almighty power, then they knew the outcome before Fisk even attempted it. Either his fate was his, or the choice was his.
“Either we die, and there’s... nothing and it won’t matter because I won’t be there to know, or...”
“I see you guys again. I see Keegan again. Bacchia. Giselle. If it means I gotta pay for what I’ve done to do that, then I will.”
There wasn’t a point in changing now, after what they’ve done, best they could do was to hold on and hope that it would work out, no matter how futile. Fisk held Vasily close.
Fisk didn’t want to change anyways, not if it didn’t help who was close to him. What was the point of redemption if it didn’t redeem the ones closest to you. Vasily did say Fisk had a better point than most people here, even if the means weren’t the best. His reason was pure, his conscience was clear, he’d do anything for his friends to succeed, and he didn’t regret the actions he took to get there.
He just regretted that he hadn’t done more. His point was beyond him. Sure, he hoped to have gotten something out of it, it was human to want that, but his endgoal regardless of what he got out of it was the success of his friends everyone else be damned. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t do the same to him and his crew for theirselves, they’d do it to their own mother if given the chance.
Did that make him the bad guy, even with a reason, a goal, his own set of morals?
“V-Vasily? What now? What do we do then? I feel like we’ve done everything and it still wasn’t enough.”
I confess the incandescence of a dying light
‘ Consume me through the night’ (private)
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
“Change tactics, I guess.”
…
“If we’ll never be enough, then the best we can do is to get as close as possible.”
“And if we fail, that’s OK. Because everybody is having as hard of a time as we are."
…
“If we’ll never be enough, then the best we can do is to get as close as possible.”
“And if we fail, that’s OK. Because everybody is having as hard of a time as we are."
“I think...”
“I think it’s too late to change tactics.”
“We’re being hunted. Regardless of our choices from here on, they won’t stop. Not until there’s none of us left.”
Fisk didn’t want to mention the possibility of failure, nor did the suffering of others grant him respite, because in the end, if Fisk and his group had to suffer, that was a loss already.
Plus, he just didn’t care if the rest of the contestants suffered. They could’ve made this easier on themselves by giving up, but they chose to spite The Respects.
The fact the others had to suffer was a fact of life, because they made Fisk suffer. They brought it on themselves.
“I think it’s too late to change tactics.”
“We’re being hunted. Regardless of our choices from here on, they won’t stop. Not until there’s none of us left.”
Fisk didn’t want to mention the possibility of failure, nor did the suffering of others grant him respite, because in the end, if Fisk and his group had to suffer, that was a loss already.
Plus, he just didn’t care if the rest of the contestants suffered. They could’ve made this easier on themselves by giving up, but they chose to spite The Respects.
The fact the others had to suffer was a fact of life, because they made Fisk suffer. They brought it on themselves.
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
''...''
''Yeah.''
''It's pretty bleak.''
''For everyone.''
''Yeah.''
''It's pretty bleak.''
''For everyone.''
“Guess there’s no chance to change then, even if we wanted to.”
Fisk had stopped crying now. There wasn’t much of a reason to anymore, it couldn’t change a thing. Everyone saw his weakness enough, he wouldn’t give them anymore.
“I...”
“Vasily I got to ask you something...”
There might still be a reason to cry.
“A-after everything we’ve done, here...”
Maybe.
“A-a-and before...”
“Does this change us?”
“Like, are we still friends, after everything I’ve done?”
“Will we... will we still be friends, after everything I’m going to do?”
He looked Vasily in the eye.
“They’re not gonna let us change, they want some monsters to kill...
Way I see it, we may as well give them some, if nothing else.”
Fisk had stopped crying now. There wasn’t much of a reason to anymore, it couldn’t change a thing. Everyone saw his weakness enough, he wouldn’t give them anymore.
“I...”
“Vasily I got to ask you something...”
There might still be a reason to cry.
“A-after everything we’ve done, here...”
Maybe.
“A-a-and before...”
“Does this change us?”
“Like, are we still friends, after everything I’ve done?”
“Will we... will we still be friends, after everything I’m going to do?”
He looked Vasily in the eye.
“They’re not gonna let us change, they want some monsters to kill...
Way I see it, we may as well give them some, if nothing else.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
"Of course it changes us."
"But we're still friends. I've done the same bad shit that you've done. There's no shame in that."
"And if you want to be worse, I won't stop you, but..."
(Thumbs twiddling.)
"I'd like to die as a good person."
Not that it's possible, mind you."
"But we're still friends. I've done the same bad shit that you've done. There's no shame in that."
"And if you want to be worse, I won't stop you, but..."
(Thumbs twiddling.)
"I'd like to die as a good person."
Not that it's possible, mind you."
“If you...”
“If you don’t want to do this anymore, I won’t stop you. I shouldn’t have gotten any of you in this in the first place.”
“I just figured that if someone had to win, you guys deserved it the most, and I thought the best way to the end was what we were doing.”
Fisk held Vasily’s hands.
“You told me yourself, that even if something isn’t possible, it’s worth trying if you actually believe it. Whatever choice you make, I’ll support it.”
“It’s what friends do.”
“If you don’t want to do this anymore, I won’t stop you. I shouldn’t have gotten any of you in this in the first place.”
“I just figured that if someone had to win, you guys deserved it the most, and I thought the best way to the end was what we were doing.”
Fisk held Vasily’s hands.
“You told me yourself, that even if something isn’t possible, it’s worth trying if you actually believe it. Whatever choice you make, I’ll support it.”
“It’s what friends do.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
"No, I really don't."
He shrugged.
"I want to win. I really do. But I don't think it's for me, maybe."
(The thought was almost impossible in his head. Like he couldn't fathom it, for some reason.
Even though all he wanted to do was to live.
Maybe the whole thing would never feel real until he drops.)
"I think maybe all I want to do is to take as many people out with me as I can. Bad people. The ones that's done worse than we have."
...
"Or maybe I just need a nap to clear these delusional thoughts out of my head."
"Probably a nap."
He shrugged.
"I want to win. I really do. But I don't think it's for me, maybe."
(The thought was almost impossible in his head. Like he couldn't fathom it, for some reason.
Even though all he wanted to do was to live.
Maybe the whole thing would never feel real until he drops.)
"I think maybe all I want to do is to take as many people out with me as I can. Bad people. The ones that's done worse than we have."
...
"Or maybe I just need a nap to clear these delusional thoughts out of my head."
"Probably a nap."
Fisk wasn't sure how to take that. Vasily wanted to take out 'bad' people, but from an outside point of view, they were probably the group of the class's worst of the worst. From Fisk's objectively correct point of view, it's Ivan, but most people wouldn't get that, solely because he has victim points, even if he started it. Unless...
"You mean, we take the fight to Ivan?"
There was a pause. Vasily wanted a nap. Fisk didn't quite guffaw, but he definitely laughed a bit harder than he should've considering circumstances. Had to appreciate though, at least it was something to lighten the mood.
"And a shower... Probably a change of clothes would be good too. Sleeping out in these cars isn't good for anyone really."
"You mean, we take the fight to Ivan?"
There was a pause. Vasily wanted a nap. Fisk didn't quite guffaw, but he definitely laughed a bit harder than he should've considering circumstances. Had to appreciate though, at least it was something to lighten the mood.
"And a shower... Probably a change of clothes would be good too. Sleeping out in these cars isn't good for anyone really."
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
"... not sure."
"I'll think about it later. Maybe after I sleep?"
He yawned.
"I'll think about it later. Maybe after I sleep?"
He yawned.
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
“Might as well wait for the others to get back.”
“Might as well wait for the others to get back.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
"I'm going somewhere better to rest. Probably not the safest to go to bed out in the open."
"G'night, Fisk."
He opened his arm for a hug.
"G'night, Fisk."
He opened his arm for a hug.
Fisk hugged Vas back.
“Night, man.”
“I’ll wait here for the others, so we can figure out what to do next.”
“Night, man.”
“I’ll wait here for the others, so we can figure out what to do next.”
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.
He held onto the hug like a lifeline.
"Love y'all," he muttered.
((Vasily continued in... well, you know what's happening, don't you?))
"Love y'all," he muttered.
((Vasily continued in... well, you know what's happening, don't you?))
“I...”
“I love you too...”
Fisk stood up, and leaned on the railing. He didn’t know if Vasily heard the last part, but he’d have his chance to tell him again if he didn’t.
This was...
This was something he needed. Honesty. He had to say this to someone that mattered, not mumbled under his breath or to a camera recording to those that didn’t matter.
Yes he was scared.
Yes he had regrets.
Yes he wished he’d have done things differently.
But at the same time, it was all a reminder of just what he was fighting for. They deserved to go home more than the others. It was just an objective fact. Others may not understand giving theirselves up for a cause greater than them, but they would learn. If Fisk was willing to do it, then these hopeless troglodytes should understand their place and submit.
Fisk wasn’t going to change. He knew that, Vasily knew that. But what WAS going to change was how they were going to play this. Fisk would be more blunt, take charge. No point in making others do what you could do yourself no? He couldn’t keep putting his trust in the likes of James, no offense to him as much as he liked the guy, but he was unreliable. But he’s not to blame for these events, nor was Keegan.
Fisk should’ve done it himself the first time. One knife to the neck would’ve solved it, but he felt, squeamish wasn’t the right word. Ivan’s squealing and writhing and mewling before getting carved and trussed up did nothing to Fisk’s emotions, and yet, putting that blade to his neck gave him pause? It wasn’t like he hesitated on fucks-his-nuts, back at the docks. Seth, yeah him.
The thought confused him. He weren’t sure if it were ego, or fear of repercussions because either way people would’ve known. Shit it all seemed so long ago. Maybe he was reveling in the power of leading what should’ve been the most revolutionary thing to hit this godforsaken show.
Whatever.
Didn’t matter now. His resolve was strengthened, and he felt like he was ready to do what must be done. Ivan and Rhonda had to go. Akeno too before she hurt someone. Anyone caught assisting them as well. Didn’t matter if it was fast or slow, he could just pull a Calla on the corpse and make it look like they had it bad, it would still serve the same warning, though if the opportunity arises?
Fisk smiled an ugly smile.
“Hurt my friends you son of a bitch... Deny us what we’re entitled to...”
He pushed off the railing, made his way towards the stairs. Rolled his shoulder forward until he felt the pop he was looking for.
Until then though, he’d wait for the others to arrive. They’d group up. Fisk’ll wake Vas. They’ll go hunting.
“I’m going to erase you.”
There was a weight from him gone. It was too late to change games, but it wasn’t too late to switch up the way it’s played.
((Fisk Bateman continued elsewhere.))
“I love you too...”
Fisk stood up, and leaned on the railing. He didn’t know if Vasily heard the last part, but he’d have his chance to tell him again if he didn’t.
This was...
This was something he needed. Honesty. He had to say this to someone that mattered, not mumbled under his breath or to a camera recording to those that didn’t matter.
Yes he was scared.
Yes he had regrets.
Yes he wished he’d have done things differently.
But at the same time, it was all a reminder of just what he was fighting for. They deserved to go home more than the others. It was just an objective fact. Others may not understand giving theirselves up for a cause greater than them, but they would learn. If Fisk was willing to do it, then these hopeless troglodytes should understand their place and submit.
Fisk wasn’t going to change. He knew that, Vasily knew that. But what WAS going to change was how they were going to play this. Fisk would be more blunt, take charge. No point in making others do what you could do yourself no? He couldn’t keep putting his trust in the likes of James, no offense to him as much as he liked the guy, but he was unreliable. But he’s not to blame for these events, nor was Keegan.
Fisk should’ve done it himself the first time. One knife to the neck would’ve solved it, but he felt, squeamish wasn’t the right word. Ivan’s squealing and writhing and mewling before getting carved and trussed up did nothing to Fisk’s emotions, and yet, putting that blade to his neck gave him pause? It wasn’t like he hesitated on fucks-his-nuts, back at the docks. Seth, yeah him.
The thought confused him. He weren’t sure if it were ego, or fear of repercussions because either way people would’ve known. Shit it all seemed so long ago. Maybe he was reveling in the power of leading what should’ve been the most revolutionary thing to hit this godforsaken show.
Whatever.
Didn’t matter now. His resolve was strengthened, and he felt like he was ready to do what must be done. Ivan and Rhonda had to go. Akeno too before she hurt someone. Anyone caught assisting them as well. Didn’t matter if it was fast or slow, he could just pull a Calla on the corpse and make it look like they had it bad, it would still serve the same warning, though if the opportunity arises?
Fisk smiled an ugly smile.
“Hurt my friends you son of a bitch... Deny us what we’re entitled to...”
He pushed off the railing, made his way towards the stairs. Rolled his shoulder forward until he felt the pop he was looking for.
Until then though, he’d wait for the others to arrive. They’d group up. Fisk’ll wake Vas. They’ll go hunting.
“I’m going to erase you.”
There was a weight from him gone. It was too late to change games, but it wasn’t too late to switch up the way it’s played.
((Fisk Bateman continued elsewhere.))
Catche thinks my squirrel is Fisk so here's my daily reminder that he is not.