This Show Jumped the Shark Years Ago

[Laurels]

((CJ3: Asa Rosen continued from Summer Bitch VS Cherry Boy))

Asa sat in the administrative office of the Aqua-Museum. Thankfully, the door was unlocked, so he made his way in and sealed himself in. It wasn't enough to use the handle lock when he went in, he found an extra chair and shoved it under the knob in order to prevent anyone from coming in. If anyone came by, he wanted them to think it was just a locked room that the producers of the show didn't want anyone to enter. That was fine by him. He didn't need anyone to get in his way.

Asa used the time to go through the issued bag and take inventory of his supplies. The food and water supplies were decent, even if Asa wasn't that happy with the Subway sandwich. He preferred sandwiches that he got to create, where he could say if he wanted peppers or mayonnaise on them. Being handed a sandwich that wasn't to his taste was a poor move by the producers.

"Then again," he said, hoping the cameras and mics picked it up, "I once read an article that said that Subway restaurants get a ton of yeast in their drink machines because of all the bread that's baked in the store. The next time you go to Subway, I want you to imagine all the yeast that sits on top of the ice in your drink."

He smirked as he said it. He hoped Subway lost business because of that. He wasn't the biggest Subway fan, but if they'd sponsor this televised bullshit, he hoped they'd lose business.

Asa had finally taken stock. He had enough food for a while. This resort looked well stocked, so he could raid if he needed more food. The clothing was fine, although the cobalt blue shirt burned his eyes. He also found his fanservice costume. It was a package containing the outfit Clint Eastwood wore in the Dollars trilogy. He sighed in relief. The outfit could have been so much worse. If anything, the poncho with it would probably be good to wear if he went outdoors. It didn't restrict his movement too much, so he could surely still wield his axe.

Well, I guess if I decide to be a douche, I could wear the hat as well.

Asa started to pack his bag when he heard some commotion outside. He quickly crouched beneath the desk in the office, taking his bag under with him. Some craziness must have been going on in the museum, craziness he did not want to get involved in. He could stay quiet though. He had to reassure himself: no one would come in. No one had any reason to come inside. He had given himself a good hiding place.

Goddammit, this game has me cowering like a pussy. Fuck...

Asa decided to wait before moving. He knew there was a chance whoever was inside the museum was still out there, on the prowl, looking to kill anyone who crossed his or her path.

Then again, someone probably just died out there.

Asa remained in the office for a few hours. When he felt safe, he decided to go outside. He'd need to check out what happened. If someone was dead, there was a chance he could loot them for anything that was left. A spare bandanna could be useful, as could any leftover food and first aid. He put the Eastwood poncho on as well. If anything did go horribly wrong, he might have to run outside. He'd rather the extra protection if he was going into the ass-numbing cold.

Asa moved his way to the door. He had his backpack on, hidden under the poncho. His brush axe was in his right hand. Now was the time to move.

Before he did, Asa took a glance at the nearby camera. The viewers were probably laughing at him. He was starting to feel nervous and paranoid, and there was a chance there was nothing for him in the museum. He quickly raised his left hand and extended his middle finger.

"You deserve this," he said to the camera.

Asa turned back to the door. He moved the chair away and unlocked it. He slowly pushed the door open and made his way out of the office.

((CJ3: Asa Rosen continued in The Tides of March))