The anger fell from his brow, his face looking almost like he’d just been slapped. He shook his head.
“I… I can’t face them…”
He bit his lip, casting his eyes to the garish floor under them and wrapping his arms around himself in a pitiful attempt at self-consolation. His breathing grew shaky, as if he was struggling not to cry again.
“It’s been so… just, so fucking lonely. And I want to see them again, I do. But I don’t think I can do that…”
Tears leapt from the corners of his eyes, and he hastily wiped them away. He turned his gaze to the right, staring at distant, surreal walls.
“I mean… what good would it do to show myself to them? Their useless faggot failure of a son comes home, reduced to nothing but a voice in people’s heads, weeks after one of his sisters died because he utterly fucked her over. I’m sure that’ll make all the grief and trauma go away.”
He laughed, though not as if he found any of it funny. He finally looked at her again, hand over his mouth, face utterly stricken.
“I’ll just hurt them more. It’s better if I’m just… dead.”
Inhabitants of the Planet Kashira
Moderator: SOTF Supers Staff
-
almostinhuman
- Posts: 643
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
-
Carrion Queen
- Posts: 427
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 6:35 am
“I’m sick of it,” she mumbled to herself, not meant for anyone to hear or understand. She took a step back and fell backwards, landing on a small couch in the shape of a frog that appeared.
She didn’t know this girl, she just didn’t – Austin’s sister. All she knew was second-hand information. And what this second-hand information was -- what she knew beforehand by rumor and what an eyewitness had told her – was that she was someone who hurt people thoughtlessly and died like she lived. She killed herself while yelling abuse and in a way where she could kill someone else too, someone whose biggest mistake had been trusting her. She died cruel.
Ximena wasn’t sure what Austin thought happened, but she couldn’t see any way that he could have caused that. People are responsible for their own actions. What had she said to Astrid?
Ximena sat and stared without expression for a moment.
She decided not to tell him. She didn’t see how it would help.
Ximena sighed and attempted to recalibrate. There had to be a middle ground between locking people out and investing so much emotion into them where you would leap to your death to stay with them.
“If they are real parents, they love you no matter what, and they miss you,” she said finally after much thought. “And if they don’t, they aren’t real parents. You are blessed to have the chance to see them again. Why would you waste a miracle?
….
And if you say that about yourself again I’ll eject you from this place like a spring-loaded seat in ‘Wacky Races.’”
She didn’t know this girl, she just didn’t – Austin’s sister. All she knew was second-hand information. And what this second-hand information was -- what she knew beforehand by rumor and what an eyewitness had told her – was that she was someone who hurt people thoughtlessly and died like she lived. She killed herself while yelling abuse and in a way where she could kill someone else too, someone whose biggest mistake had been trusting her. She died cruel.
Ximena wasn’t sure what Austin thought happened, but she couldn’t see any way that he could have caused that. People are responsible for their own actions. What had she said to Astrid?
Ximena sat and stared without expression for a moment.
She decided not to tell him. She didn’t see how it would help.
Ximena sighed and attempted to recalibrate. There had to be a middle ground between locking people out and investing so much emotion into them where you would leap to your death to stay with them.
“If they are real parents, they love you no matter what, and they miss you,” she said finally after much thought. “And if they don’t, they aren’t real parents. You are blessed to have the chance to see them again. Why would you waste a miracle?
….
And if you say that about yourself again I’ll eject you from this place like a spring-loaded seat in ‘Wacky Races.’”
-
almostinhuman
- Posts: 643
- Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:06 pm
He gave her an apologetic smirk.
“I know, I’m sorry. Don’t gotta tap the sign, I remember the house rules about self-hate. Though you could stand to practice what you preach a little better.”
He flung himself onto the couch next to her. He fumbled with his boots, slipping them off and tossing them aside, before resting his bare feet on the carpet.
“And I know you’re right. I should go see them. I know Karen must be hurting like nothing else, and… and I know I’m not being fair to my parents either. It’s just…”
He leaned back into the couch a bit, frowning.
“I struggle, I guess. With being vulnerable around them. Hell, I struggle with vulnerability in general. It was different with you - before now, we didn’t entirely know each other. With family, friends, boyfriends, all that…”
His eyes shut with a despondent sigh.
“Well, I found it scary as hell to let folks know how I was feeling. I downplayed and hid my shit best I could, certain others wouldn’t get it or that they’d hate me for it…”
He sank further into the couch, looking almost ready to slide off entirely.
“I regret it now. I should’ve been more honest more often. Burying it just left a lot of awful shit that now has to go permanently unsaid, and I shouldn’t be so eager to add more to that pile… though even so, old habits die hard.”
He breathed deeply. His eyes opened, his face looking determined, like he’d just reached a decision of some kind.
“But you’re right. You usually are. Hiding from them’s gonna hurt them far worse than anything else… and I need them. I like to think they need me.”
He sat upright.
“So I gotta go home.”
He pushed himself up off the couch, and began walking away from it as if to leave… but then turned his head to look at Ximena from the corner of his eye. A sly little smile played across his lips.
“But not before I demolish you at air hockey. I ain’t letting this arcade you whipped up go to waste.”
He turned towards her more fully, his smile a little warmer and less playful.
“If you’re up for it, anyway. I know we just got through dealing with some heavy shit, so I get if you aren't in the mood. But if you are…”
He stepped back towards her, offering her his hand.
“Just be warned, I’m not going easy on you.”
“I know, I’m sorry. Don’t gotta tap the sign, I remember the house rules about self-hate. Though you could stand to practice what you preach a little better.”
He flung himself onto the couch next to her. He fumbled with his boots, slipping them off and tossing them aside, before resting his bare feet on the carpet.
“And I know you’re right. I should go see them. I know Karen must be hurting like nothing else, and… and I know I’m not being fair to my parents either. It’s just…”
He leaned back into the couch a bit, frowning.
“I struggle, I guess. With being vulnerable around them. Hell, I struggle with vulnerability in general. It was different with you - before now, we didn’t entirely know each other. With family, friends, boyfriends, all that…”
His eyes shut with a despondent sigh.
“Well, I found it scary as hell to let folks know how I was feeling. I downplayed and hid my shit best I could, certain others wouldn’t get it or that they’d hate me for it…”
He sank further into the couch, looking almost ready to slide off entirely.
“I regret it now. I should’ve been more honest more often. Burying it just left a lot of awful shit that now has to go permanently unsaid, and I shouldn’t be so eager to add more to that pile… though even so, old habits die hard.”
He breathed deeply. His eyes opened, his face looking determined, like he’d just reached a decision of some kind.
“But you’re right. You usually are. Hiding from them’s gonna hurt them far worse than anything else… and I need them. I like to think they need me.”
He sat upright.
“So I gotta go home.”
He pushed himself up off the couch, and began walking away from it as if to leave… but then turned his head to look at Ximena from the corner of his eye. A sly little smile played across his lips.
“But not before I demolish you at air hockey. I ain’t letting this arcade you whipped up go to waste.”
He turned towards her more fully, his smile a little warmer and less playful.
“If you’re up for it, anyway. I know we just got through dealing with some heavy shit, so I get if you aren't in the mood. But if you are…”
He stepped back towards her, offering her his hand.
“Just be warned, I’m not going easy on you.”
-
Carrion Queen
- Posts: 427
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 6:35 am
“It was different,” she agreed. “Being honest.”
Ximena’s eyes were trained on Austin until a figure moved behind them, going past the couch at an unhurried pace.
A girl with short black hair and black eyes was walking by carrying an enormous stuffed goat. She turned, noticing Ximena’s glance, and motioned her head towards a door that was partly open. The girl then proceeded to go to a Dance Dance Revolution machine, hit a few buttons, and began dancing with robotic yet fluid movements. The game was now the only other light in the room and the only other noise besides an ethereal tune that had been floating around. The stuffed goat watched her from the ground.
As Austin got up from the couch, Ximena reached up and felt something around her neck. It was a leather collar with a silver hoop in the front and silver spikes pointed inward. The spikes weren’t hurting her, but they had the potential to, depending on how she moved.
Ximena now noticed she was also wearing golden shackles on her wrists with a gold chain connecting the bracelets. Well, it looked gold, but it didn't feel as heavy as gold.
She looked down at her wrists and then at Austin’s hand.
“One sec.”
Ximena stood up and walked past Astrid to the door. She looked back at Austin, unsure, and then stuck her head into the crack where the door was open.
Ximena brought her hand up to cover her mouth, the golden shackles clanking, and whispered. She looked pensive for a moment, then nodded. Ximena closed the door.
The arcade now sprang back to life, with all of the lights and noise it had when Austin had first entered.
She walked back and stood at one end of the air hockey table. She pulled the puck out of the slot and brought the slider up. Her hands were now unencumbered and without the shackles, but the collar remained on her neck.
“OK. Best two of three,” she said with a small smile.
((continued elsewhere))
Ximena’s eyes were trained on Austin until a figure moved behind them, going past the couch at an unhurried pace.
A girl with short black hair and black eyes was walking by carrying an enormous stuffed goat. She turned, noticing Ximena’s glance, and motioned her head towards a door that was partly open. The girl then proceeded to go to a Dance Dance Revolution machine, hit a few buttons, and began dancing with robotic yet fluid movements. The game was now the only other light in the room and the only other noise besides an ethereal tune that had been floating around. The stuffed goat watched her from the ground.
As Austin got up from the couch, Ximena reached up and felt something around her neck. It was a leather collar with a silver hoop in the front and silver spikes pointed inward. The spikes weren’t hurting her, but they had the potential to, depending on how she moved.
Ximena now noticed she was also wearing golden shackles on her wrists with a gold chain connecting the bracelets. Well, it looked gold, but it didn't feel as heavy as gold.
She looked down at her wrists and then at Austin’s hand.
“One sec.”
Ximena stood up and walked past Astrid to the door. She looked back at Austin, unsure, and then stuck her head into the crack where the door was open.
Ximena brought her hand up to cover her mouth, the golden shackles clanking, and whispered. She looked pensive for a moment, then nodded. Ximena closed the door.
The arcade now sprang back to life, with all of the lights and noise it had when Austin had first entered.
She walked back and stood at one end of the air hockey table. She pulled the puck out of the slot and brought the slider up. Her hands were now unencumbered and without the shackles, but the collar remained on her neck.
“OK. Best two of three,” she said with a small smile.
((continued elsewhere))