tango delta nominal

[RetroVenus]

Such a lucky thing it was, to live a mere three hours away from the Kennedy Space Center.

Of course, if Elliott-Blair had his way, he would be going there ever other weekend. Each day, he'd see a new exhibit; each day, he'd learn something new. Alas, the ticket prices were too steep, so even a single visit would have to wait.

The Østergaards had money now, enough money to send their son to the place he always wanted to see. He could even bring along a friend.

Elliott-Blair had lied, saying that he didn't need to bring someone along. It was thinly veiled; truth be told, he did want someone to share such an experience with. Anyone would have been fine, anyone willing to tolerate his ramblings on the composition of Venus' clouds would be better. The ideal would be someone who actual understood what he was going on about, and thankfully he knew such a person.

Elliott-Blair sat on the rim of the fountain at the entrance park, underneath John F. Kennedy's disembodied head. He was in the middle of discussing the latest hot topic in astronomy, the first picture of a black hole, to a friend.

The friend in question was one Gabriela Garcia-Campos. She was a grade ahead of him, so they didn't meet in class. No, they came together over a mutual love of space and all it contains. They were an odd couple, what with Gabriela's temper in contrast to Elliott-Blair's passive nature. Or her passion for SOTF versus his apathy for the show.

"...At around 10 to the power of nine solar mass, this would make M87* more massive than Sagittarius A*, which of course is around 10 to the power of six solar mass, and—"

He stopped abruptly, belatedly realizing just how long he had been going on for.

Those who would know him would be surprised at how lively he currently was. There was actual emotion in his voice, not the tired monotone he had regardless of how he was feeling. Gone were the short and to-the-point replies in favor of long winding explanations.

"...And I'm rambling again," he finished sheepishly.

[Catche Jagger]

Gabriela had been rather quiet since she and Elliott had arrived at the Kennedy Space Center, which had seemingly suited her friend just fine, as he’d rushed in to fill the void with his own musings and fun facts. It was an attitude she might have found annoying with another, the apparent need to fill up any silence with noise, but Elliott was alright. He was usually the quiet sort anyway.

It wasn’t as if Gabriela wasn’t overjoyed when Elliott invited her along on this trip. It was just… there was a lot on her mind. Not all of it bad.

Sometimes, going to the right place on the right day with someone you did give a shit about kind of… there was an excitement, a happiness that helped to sand over any perceived edges and everything came out looking smooth. Like, it didn’t matter if there was an air of tackiness to the more tourist-y parts of the space center, because everything else overwhelmed that and made her smile and left her without a whole lot to say.

“No, no. It’s alright. I’m- I’m the one being weird. Just got some crap on my mind. Really, you know I like this shit.” Gabriela nodded, flashing a soft smile that, while completely sincere, might only worry her friend more. Elliott was someone who was quite familiar with withholding information, and part of her worried he'd see right through her bullshit.

There were some things that she wasn’t telling Elliott, though, like how this wasn’t her first time visiting the space center. She’d come some years earlier, brought by her dad.

And Gabriela wasn’t going to let him ruin this for her. She’d come here with Elliott, not him. Gabriela was going to enjoy the day the way that she wanted to, the way she remembered doing it: all smoothed out.

“Hey,” She spoke up once again, looking out, away from Elliott toward the crowded parking lot and the horizon beyond, “I don’t think I really thanked you when you invited me out here. So, uh, thanks. Really.” She turned back to the boy sitting next to her at the edge of the fountain and smiled once again, this time with greater energy, greater certainty.

“So, are you gonna finish that bit about the mass of Sagittarius A* or is there something else on your mind?”

[RetroVenus]

Gabriela reassured Elliott-Blair that no, it's fine, she just has a lot on the mind, I don't mind your ramblings. But there was something about the smile she gave him that caused him to hesitate.

Come to think of it, Gabriela had been mostly silent since their arrival, even more than characteristically normal. Each time Elliott-Blair glanced at her, she had a contemplative look about her. She didn't seem disinterested - there was certainly some level of excitement - but there was an air of ruefulness that put a damper on her mood.

Elliott-Blair had been too caught up in his own excitement to notice. This was the most giddy he had ever been, all other thoughts and sensations had melted away into white noise. He did hear Gabriela, of course, but he had only picked up on her enthusiasm.

Now with the brakes applied, Elliott-Blair began to see all the details he had glossed over before. There was something on Gabriela's mind. But what?

Elliott-Blair was mulling over what to say when Gabriela spoke up, thanking him for inviting her along, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Oh. Um, it's no big deal. I think you're the only other student in the whole school that would find this trip fun," he chuckled weakly at that remark.

Gabriela had a brighter smile on her face, and asked if he was going to finish his spiel on Sagittarius A*. This did help put his mind at ease, so he continued, "S-so at it's mass, that would make Sagittarius A* the lightest of the known supermassive black holes. The most massive..."

Try as he might, Elliott-Blair just could not return to level of glee he was at when he first started his spiel. His tone was more choppy, more tight.

[Catche Jagger]

Aw fuck, she’d ruined the mood. Absolutely perfect. Even when Gabriela managed to coax Elliott into continuing his explanation, she could tell that his heart wasn’t in it anymore.

Her first impulse was to be annoyed at Elliott for letting her minor bullshit get to him like that. The kid seriously needed a thicker skin. Gabriela understood how Elliott was, but if he was ever going to any shit with his life, he really needed to grow a fucking backbone and figure out how to stand up straight when the winds got the slightest bit intense.

Still, it was her fault, probably. There were better times and places to talk about all of this shit with Elliott, so she really shouldn’t have been so obvious. Now she’d have to make up for it by salvaging this trip herself. Such was her lot in life.

As Elliott’s voice drifted off once more, Gabriela let out a sigh and rose from her seat by the fountain before turning around to face Elliott again.

“Alright so, if I’m remembering things correctly, the first thing we were supposed to be checking out around here was the Rocket Garden, right? Come on, we’re just getting started here.” Gabriela’s smile did not falter as she spoke, managing to tap into some of that naïve hype she recalled from years past.

It was a sort of lie, but only a partial and justified one. She was lying for the benefit of a friend, one of her best friends. That made it okay. It being okay made it easier.

[RetroVenus]

As Elliott-Blair continued his comparison on the masses of black holes, he felt a certain tension in the air. Like the air around him was crackling. Someone had angered Gabriela. And, judging from the look that momentarily crossed her face, that someone was him.

Elliott-Blair inwardly grimaced. He was probably being too sensitive again.

Sensitive. God, he hated applying that term to himself. Indeed, it was a term most people at school wouldn't think to apply to him anyway, given his fair-weather friend tendencies. But for someone he wouldn't ditch at the first signs of annoyance, someone he truly gave a damn about? Well, maybe he was sensitive.

Still, it was a word Elliott-Blair didn't like. After all, it's what caused him and Rashmi to break up.

Elliott-Blair's voice faltered, and right on cue Gabriela reminded him about the Rocket Garden. A chance to view the rockets that helped Americans survey the stars up close and personal.

There was... Maybe it was something in Gabriela's voice, but the vigor Elliott-Blair had minutes before came surging back. He was at the Kennedy Space Center. The place he had dreamed of visiting for years.

She's just lying to get you back in a good mood was a cynical thought, but he ignored it. No, now was not the time for such negativity.

Shuffling off his seat, he glanced over at where the Rocket Garden stood, the tops of the Atlas-Agena and Juno II in clear view. He turned back to Gabriela.

"...Yeah, let's go," he said, a warm smile on his face.

[Catche Jagger]

Thank fuck that worked. She could breathe a sigh of relief for that, at least.

Gabriela had very little patience for the bullshit of most of her classmates, which marked Elliott as a rare exception to the rule. He was unpretentious in the way that quiet kids tended to be, she thought, where he wasn’t all about acting cool or being super fake all the time or whatever. Sure, he didn’t always talk straight, but neither did Gabriela, and she wasn’t going to be a hypocrite over that. Them having an important interest helped smooth that over, anyway.

Passing through the entrance proper, Gabriela could easily see much of the Rocket Garden within. Her mind went to the past again as she caught sight of the Mercury-Redstone rocket, which she had once pointed out as her favorite in the garden. She then felt a momentary pang of guilt, not over thinking of that old trip, but due to having lied about the reason she liked it most, claiming that she was interested in it for being the first rocket to send an American to space, when in reality its color scheme simply made it the most eye-catching of the bunch.

Whatever. She was a stupid kid that wanted to sound smart, big whoop. Her feeling guilt about that all these years later was yet more evidence that the human brain was fundamentally flawed.

As Elliott approached one of the rockets Gabriela leaned against the nearest guardrail.

“So, what’s it like? Your first time here?” She asked him. Gabriela had hoped to get her friend rambling again. When Elliott was really getting into something like that, it could actually be pretty calming.

[RetroVenus]

Gabriela was no longer mad at him, so that was a good thing.

Come to think of it, her anger dissolved much faster than normal. He's seen what she's like with other people. Though she tries to be polite to those she is annoyed at, her impatience is as clear as day to anyone paying attention. Elliott-Blair was no exemption.

But she would forgive him for whatever transgressions he made. Even when he lied to her for whatever petty reason, she would eventually come around. Maybe it was because she too was not the most honest person, but Elliott-Blair didn't care. Someone wanted to be his friend, and that was enough.

A pang of guilt suddenly shot through Elliott-Blair. He had indeed lied to her about things in the past, with no real reasons to do so. He wasn't holding up his end of this friendship bargain very well.

He wanted to say something when the two entered the Rocket Garden proper. Any thought he had melted away, and that same giddy feeling he had on the ride over had returned in full force.

The Mercury-Redstone! The rocket that sent Alan Shepard to the stars, the first American to do so. The Gemini-Titan II! The first true spacecraft to make more than one spaceflight. The Saturn 1B! The rocket that carried the crew of Apollo 7, reigniting America's passion for space after the tragedy of Apollo 1.

Elliott-Blair was approaching the Mercury-Atlas when Gabriela asked him for his thoughts thus far.

"... It's interesting I guess," he said sarcastically. A wide grin had settled on his face as he pointed at the Mercury-Redstone, "I'm sure you already know this, but that's the rocket that took Alan Shepard into space..."

[Catche Jagger]

Gabriela gave a knowing smile as she noted the sarcasm in Elliott’s voice, though he wasn’t making things easy for her by going and making things all about the damn Mercury-Redstone.

“Yeah, this one I know pretty well…” She let out a sigh, turning to look up at the rocket that towered over them. Gabriela stared long and hard at it, hoping she might come up with something interesting to say, a fact or observation, but she was coming up blank when it came to fun shit.

Fuck it. Wasn’t like Elliott needed her to segue all his topics for him. Gabriela could just quietly listen and shit. She could feel her face tighten a bit, though she kept her head from turning directly toward her friend. She just hoped he’d keep talking and get her over the hump that way.

[RetroVenus]

There was a smile on Gabriela's face after Elliott-Blair's sarcastic comment, which was enough encouragement to keep him going.

Could you imagine being in Alan Shepard's shoes? To be the first American to escape from Earth's gravity well and reach the stars? Sure, he failed to achieve orbit, but being able to see Earth for those fleeting moments must have been worth it. To see Earth as it is, without all of mankind's rules and structures weighing it down.

It was only a matter of time before humanity made it to the Moon, and then...

A bitter thought crossed Elliott-Blair's mind. After the Moon, we were supposed to make it to Mars, weren't we? That was what the government promised. Yet here we are, in the year 2019, where only a handful of robots have explored Mars' surface. He wasn't discounting the service the rovers have done, but surely we know enough about how Mars works now to send someone there?

Elliott-Blair shook his head. Now was not the time for such negative emotions. This was the place to renew his hope that society hasn't forgotten the importance of space travel.

Gabriela mentioned knowing about the Mercury-Redstone, accompanied by a sigh. At once, Elliott-Blair remembered his friend's existence and turned to her, noting that she was facing away from him.

Of course. Here he was, blathering away about the rockets, not giving Gabriela any chance to mention any interesting tidbits of her own. How selfish of him.

"...But listen to me, hogging the spotlight. I'm sure you have some fun facts yourself," Elliott-Blair gave Gabriela an encouraging smile.

[Catche Jagger]

Elliott was trying to be nice, and Gabriela understood that, but Elliott trying to be nice was not what she needed at the moment. She should’ve just lied about knowing any shit about the Mercury-Redstone, obviously, because now the first thing that came to mind was the whole “last time I came I was here I bullshitted my dad about why I liked it” which clearly could not be the topic here.

So Gabriela was left with one option: Make shit up.

“Well, did you know that, like uh, back in 2004 a hurricane came through and stuff- well, you know it hit this area obviously. Because that’s the story. Um, and anyway, it hit here and they had to try to secure these displays- so they wouldn’t get blown over, you know,” Gabriela remembered part way through that she was neither particularly good at telling stories nor spinning up bullshit, “so…. the Mercury-Redstone here fell over and… crushed a dude.” She cleared her throat.

It had been intended to be, like, a made up scary story that they could laugh about, but it came out as a scrambled heap of absolutely nothing. The puzzled expression on Elliott’s face made it clear to her that he, too, had no idea what the fuck she was talking about.

“That was… I made that up. It was a joke.” Gabriela explained flatly, crossing her arms and quickly, looking back at the Mercury-Redstone.

Bullshitting, talking in general really, was much easier when one could just type a whole thought or story out at once before putting it out there, rather than releasing it from one’s mouth one syllable at a time. Out here, things were so much more likely to get jumbled in the middle of delivery.

[RetroVenus]

It seems that Gabriela did know something about the Mercury-Redstone that Elliott-Blair did not, for she told him the tale of how it fell over and crushed someone during the 2004 hurricane season.

At least, that's what he thinks she was trying to do, as the delivery was so disorganized that it took him a few moments to piece together what she was saying.

Bullshit was Elliott-Blair immediate thought. Someone dying in the Rocket Garden would have made waves within the astronomy community, or at least prompt someone into putting up signs advising people to stand a good distance away from the rockets.

But what if you're wrong? was the followup. He was born at the tail end of 2004, how could he possibly know about an event that happened before his birth? Such a thing would have been huge news, sure, but by the time he first picked up one of his mother's astrology books the dust had likely settled.

Elliott-Blair's confusion must have been as clear as day, for Gabriela stated that she made the whole thing up. That it was a joke.

So...what, she couldn't think up of something to say? Aren't they on the same page when it came to everything NASA?

Perhaps not, as it appears to be. Elliott-Blair couldn't help but be disappointed. But, well, he couldn't fault Gabriela for lying to him. Had he been in her shoes, he would've done the exact same.

A silence descended upon the two, and Elliott-Blair's "oh, um" did nothing to clear it.

[Catche Jagger]

Fuck.





“...Yeah.”











Shit.





Maybe it would’ve been better for Gabriela to just explain the weird history she had with this place right off the bat, like back when she’d been invited. Not decline the invitation or anything, but just lay it out there that she had some weird memories mixed up in this place, that she might just end up being a bit weird.

How could she explain herself now, when doing so was much harder and would likely turn out much worse?

“Sorry about that. Where to next?”

Simple. She wouldn’t.

[RetroVenus]

Elliott-Blair had hoped Gabriela would say something to clear away the awkward silence that enveloped the two.

Her "yeah" indicated that no, no she would not.

Well.

Still, it nagged at Elliott-Blair that Gabriela would lie to him about something so mundane as not having as much knowledge about rockets as he did. It wasn't like it was a competition or anything; he would've been fine taking this trip with someone who had zero knowledge on space and all that it pertains.

So why was she acting so strange?

He didn't have to come up with an answer, for Gabriela apologized and suggested they move onto the next exhibit.

A fairly transparent change in topic, but a welcome one.

"Let's go to the Hall of Fame," Elliott-Blair suggested. It was the closest exhibit to the Rocket Garden, meaning it was the shortest distance they had to walk in uncomfortable silence.

((Elliott-Blair Østergaard continued elsewhere))

[Catche Jagger]

Luckily, Elliott took Gabriela up on her offer of moving on from this weird hiccup. She’d make it up to him somehow, at some point.

She tried to smile at her friend again, but the expression was strained, uncomfortable. Their day out had barely begun and Gabriela was already exhausted. She stepped away from the railing and stood up a bit straighter than she normally might.

“Yeah, let’s go check it out.” Gabriela agreed, beginning to lead the way towards the Hall of Fame. Eventually, they found the words to start talking freely again, but the tension remained.


~~~


The rest of the day did not go as well as Gabriela might’ve hoped, at least for Elliott’s sake, but she never fumbled things quite so badly as with the rockets. When she finally returned home to lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, the idiotic story she’d tried to make up and the expression of confusion and disappointment on Elliott’s face kept replaying in her head.

Fuck, why couldn’t she just act like a normal fucking human being?

((Gabriela continued elsewhere…))