Penelope closed her eyes and sighed, before standing up.
"That's okay, I understand. It's not an easy decision to make," Penelope said to Asuka.
"I..." Penelope looked at the ground for a few seconds. "I just... want to say. Before we go our separate ways." She swallowed, considering her words. "Just because something hasn't happened before doesn't mean it can't happen now." Penelope glanced at a beam of light coming from one of the windows, dust particles floating through the air. "There's no other option. You either die doing what's right or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Penelope closed her eyes again, pausing. "You can try your best to remain good while trying to mess with the terrorists. But what are you going to do? Break a few cameras? Try to escape? It won't work, they'll just blow you up. They'll blow all of us up if you actually succeed." Penelope paused for a few seconds, searching for words, before continuing, "They're probably already watching you like a hawk just because of what you said right there. No, I think... I think instead you'll be too scared to die, and you'll give up on whatever plan you'll have brewing and do exactly what they want."
Penelope opened her eyes, staring directly at Asuka. "It's better to take a stand, make a statement on what's right. If we all get together and decide not to fight until the terrorists end it, we'll win. Their goal is to show how horrible everyone is, deep down. How people will break under pressure and act no better than animals. And if this game goes like all the ones before, they will be proven right. They'll win again."
Penelope closed her eyes again, her head turned downwards, speaking only loud enough to be audible. "But if my plan works, for the first time in history, they will truly lose."
She lifted up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Asuka. If you change your mind, hopefully you'll be able to find me."
Penelope turned to leave, before briefly craning her head back in Asuka's direction, one final thing to say. "No matter what happens though... don't let yourself lose control. Don't do what they want. For any reason." She turned her head back towards the door. "I'm going to make things right. I guarantee it."
And with that, Penelope left the gym, her stalwart determination burning ever brighter.
((Penelope Fitzgerald continued in Quickdraw))
A World Of Sadness
[Open!]
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 801
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
And then Penelope was gone.
She'd been misjudged. Or she'd misjudged. Something like that. She could shrug and move on, tell herself or a camera or something that she could live with that, but, really, who was she actually going to kid.
Inventory check. She was doing alright. A little bit of irrational anger somewhere in there, but Asuka pushed it down. Now wasn't the time to run after Penelope and tell her she had it all wrong, all of it, doesn't she get that Asuka gets it, that she wasn't looking to escape or directly attack the terrorists or anything? But it'd be of no use. It wasn't like she was planning on joining Penelope's team or anything. Lack of tangible benefits had never stopped her before, though.
So. Why hadn't she wanted in? Was it her inner artiste coming through and telling her that she had to do her own thing, that she had to be a special snowflake? See, it's not pretentious if she says it ironically. There was the thing where her life had been suddenly turned into a kind of performance art. So she could excuse being a little flamboyant. Was Penelope's plan not beautiful enough for her? Put simply, and rather stupidly, yes.
Asuka grabbed a twig, put one end on her lips, and pretended to take a drag on it. It felt good, like she was actually her daily nicotine fix from it. Cleared her head and all.
People tended to disappoint you in the flesh. Asuka knew this because her meat puppet disappointed her all the time. But if you look at who they really are, when you peel back the skin and flesh and bones until you're left with the grey matter, well, that stuff is beyond your wildest imagination. You have to imagine it, is the problem. Because, well. You know.
Asuka had glimpsed Penelope, or she'd imagined she'd glimpsed her. It didn't really matter. What mattered was that Asuka could never deal with the constant reminder that she sucked at this, that she still felt drained and exhausted and empty after talking to people even when everything worked out the way it did in her dreams. What mattered was that it had been meaningful, and then it had been meaningless, and now she was feeling unsure, a little less steady on her feet. Well, a little more unsure. Unsure was her baseline.
But she still had her plan, if you could call it that, and she still had her goal, if that's what it was, and she was still going to make them happen no matter what, but maybe she was idealizing them, yes? No way in hell was she going to live up to her expectations. She could insert a joke about how that was the story of her life, but it was a little too true to sound like a joke.
Think, Asuka. Think. Clear your head. She took another drag on the faux-cigarette. Fuck, she was already building up an immunity to the thing. She took another drag. Giggled a little.
Stupid idea. She'd lost her train of thought.
Words were still echoing around inside her head, but for Asuka, they'd long since lost their meaning.
((Asuka continued in You Gave Up Being Good When You Declared a State of War))
She'd been misjudged. Or she'd misjudged. Something like that. She could shrug and move on, tell herself or a camera or something that she could live with that, but, really, who was she actually going to kid.
Inventory check. She was doing alright. A little bit of irrational anger somewhere in there, but Asuka pushed it down. Now wasn't the time to run after Penelope and tell her she had it all wrong, all of it, doesn't she get that Asuka gets it, that she wasn't looking to escape or directly attack the terrorists or anything? But it'd be of no use. It wasn't like she was planning on joining Penelope's team or anything. Lack of tangible benefits had never stopped her before, though.
So. Why hadn't she wanted in? Was it her inner artiste coming through and telling her that she had to do her own thing, that she had to be a special snowflake? See, it's not pretentious if she says it ironically. There was the thing where her life had been suddenly turned into a kind of performance art. So she could excuse being a little flamboyant. Was Penelope's plan not beautiful enough for her? Put simply, and rather stupidly, yes.
Asuka grabbed a twig, put one end on her lips, and pretended to take a drag on it. It felt good, like she was actually her daily nicotine fix from it. Cleared her head and all.
People tended to disappoint you in the flesh. Asuka knew this because her meat puppet disappointed her all the time. But if you look at who they really are, when you peel back the skin and flesh and bones until you're left with the grey matter, well, that stuff is beyond your wildest imagination. You have to imagine it, is the problem. Because, well. You know.
Asuka had glimpsed Penelope, or she'd imagined she'd glimpsed her. It didn't really matter. What mattered was that Asuka could never deal with the constant reminder that she sucked at this, that she still felt drained and exhausted and empty after talking to people even when everything worked out the way it did in her dreams. What mattered was that it had been meaningful, and then it had been meaningless, and now she was feeling unsure, a little less steady on her feet. Well, a little more unsure. Unsure was her baseline.
But she still had her plan, if you could call it that, and she still had her goal, if that's what it was, and she was still going to make them happen no matter what, but maybe she was idealizing them, yes? No way in hell was she going to live up to her expectations. She could insert a joke about how that was the story of her life, but it was a little too true to sound like a joke.
Think, Asuka. Think. Clear your head. She took another drag on the faux-cigarette. Fuck, she was already building up an immunity to the thing. She took another drag. Giggled a little.
Stupid idea. She'd lost her train of thought.
Words were still echoing around inside her head, but for Asuka, they'd long since lost their meaning.
((Asuka continued in You Gave Up Being Good When You Declared a State of War))