Girls on Film

[Carrion Queen]

((Jeanette continued from Follow Me, Don't Follow Me))

At the edge of the forest was the section that became a rain forest, according to the map. That was one of the danger zones. Jeanette new she got closer and closer the more lush and vibrant the flora became. Her head turned at the sound of her name, but she whipped it forward and kept going. She was an agile little girl and easily ducked and weaved around the branches and plants.


There was a small clearing up ahead with a sign that marked the start of the rain forest. Jeanette stopped in front of the sign and looked back. A camera zoomed and crackled at her. Her heart was thumping and a nervous sensation was buzzing all the way down her spine.

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Jeanette was walking into the living room after a day of school. She threw her bag onto the dining room table and walked up to her little brother, Mark, sat down in front of the t.v. with homework in front of him.

"What up, bro?" she said as she flung herself down next to him.

"Nuffin'," he replied back.

She picked her head up and noticed the television. Survival of the fittest. She reached for the remote, but found it was suddenly being held above her head. She elbowed him in the side and the remote dropped into her lap.

"Ow!"

"You shouldn't be watching that," she said as she channel surfed.

"Why not? It's just SOTF."

There was deffinetley a reason. There had to be some reason that her little brother shouldn't be watching Survival of the Fittest, but she couldn't really find the words for why. Instead she shrugged, kissed the site where she'd elbowed him and settled back in.

"Because I said so."

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She never though much of Survival of the Fittest. It was just something that happened. So when she'd woken up, it was just something that had happened to her. Bad luck was all it was. You try to survive and if you were popular and you were a good entertainer, you were set for life after.

April had chastised her and made her look at how far she was willing to bend and what she was willing to do to play this game and be entertaining. It was all for entertainment. It was hard to realize that there was something wrong with all of this when they'd been raised to think it was okay, but the hurt in her friend's eyes and the thought of her little brother seeing murder as a way to pass time while doing homework was the worst. Her friend was dead. She'd never make another joke with Peter again. She felt complicit in his murder by playing along with the farce.

Jeanette put on a bit of lipstick that she still had in her pocket and looked up at the camera.

"Survival of the fittest is a show. It's a game. They sell t-shirts and run advertisements for it. We're all raised to think it's okay, that it's another part of life. It's children murdering each other. I feel like there was a time when people realized it was wrong. I almost got swept away and I almost helped make it seem okay too by smiling pretty and shakin' dat ass. I thought I was being strong and being a survivor but I was just being exactly what my killers, the studio, not the kids, wanted me to be. Well I'm not going to be your wind up doll anymore and I'm not going to kill anyone. I'm going out in the most boring, uninteresting way possible so that everyone who watches knows that there's nothing funny or cool about this. I was wrong when I thought it was. I'm sorry."

Jeanette stood on a rock and kissed the camera lens, leaving a cherry smear on the glass.

"Mom, dad, Mark, April. I love you with all my heart and I know I'll always be in yours."

Jeanette stepped over the line. Her collar began to beep. She kept walking, slow and steady and the beeping got faster. She heard a click, a bang and she sunk down to her knees.


Jeanette Buendia: Deceased