((Todd Hudson continued from King of the Jungle))
Todd hadn't the slightest idea how he ended up in this situation.
A few hours ago, he'd just escaped from Alicia's clutches by the skin of his teeth, and had already found himself running headfirst through the jungle again without any destination in mind. Naturally of course, this meant that he ended up running round in circles for fifteen minutes before finally falling flat on his face feeling thoroughly exhausted.
But that didn't stop Todd, nosiree. And he was goddamn determined to find his way out of the overgrown hellhole he'd been stuck in since the moment he first woke up. However, doing so was easier said than done, and after wasting another hour walking around in circles Todd was beginning to suspect that he MIGHT be lost. Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I hate this jungle! Hate it hate it hate it hate it HATE IT! I can't stand one more minute of this fucking pla-Hey, what's that over there?
He had stopped in his tracks and squinted his eyes, not believing the sight before him. Right there in front him was the most inviting natural pool he had ever seen in his life. It wasn't particularly big, only a dozen meters or so wide, but nevertheless the fact remained that Todd was dying for a bath of some description for days now. And whilst the pool that stood before him wasn't exactly the most ideal body of water to bathe within, it seemed like a much better option to running around in his shitty underwear.
Well, for Todd it seemed like a good idea anyway.
Within seconds, the wannabe frat boy had already removed all his clothing and tossed it onto a big pile, blissfully unaware of the cameras watching his every movement. Then, after he'd stripped himself down to his bare buttocks, he took a deep breath and made a running jump... WOOOOOO WHOOOOOO!!
Splash.
It was at that point that Todd realized two things. The first being that the pool was really, REALLY cold.
The second being that the pool was also full of leeches.
"AAAAH, FUCKING HELL! Get 'em off me! GET 'EM OFF ME!!!"
After spending the next ten minutes prying leeches from his flesh as he sat by the edge of the pool, Todd came to the conclusion that having a quick bath wasn't such a bright idea after all. Motherfuckers. What the hell is the point of leeches anyway? They don't freaking DO anything other then piss people off! Bloodsucking cocksuckers... Okay, new plan. Get my shit together, find the highest point on the island, then wait for dad to come along to pick me up. Sounds like a plan to me..........
......Wait, where the fuck is all my clothes?!?
They were gone.
All of them. His pink polo shirt, his pants, his socks, his soiled underwear... Every single last piece of clothing was gone. Vanished. Disappeared into the ether...
...WHAT THE FUCK?!? How did they... When did they.... Wha?!?!?
He hadn't a single clue how on earth all his clothes could have disappeared without him even noticing. Did some asshole come along and steal all his stuff whilst he wasn't looking? Did Jimmy decide to torment him some more by stealing even more of his clothing? Or did the earth just suddenly decide to fuck him in the ass for the umpteenth time in a row?
Either way, the fact remained that Todd now found himself huddled up underneath a particularly large tree he found a few meters away from the pool, completely naked and freezing cold as the night sky continued to get darker with every passing second.
Son of a bitch... I've got no clothes, no shelter, no stuff, I'm stranded in the middle of some stupid island surrounded on all sides by schmucks who're perfectly happy to kick my ass, my father is taking his sweet freaking time in organizing my freedom, i'm freezing my nuts off, and worst of all, I GOT ROBBED BY A FUCKING MONKEY!
How could things POSSIBLY get any worse?!?
Just a Quick Swim
Open
Just a Quick Swim
Kicking Akamatsu in the face since 2010
((Sean Davidson continued from The Walking Dead))
Long about the time Todd came to the realization that he'd been robbed by a monkey (of some sort or another), Sean stumbled into the vicinity, bolting from being momentarily held hostage by some kid he'd never seen before.
This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Sean mused to himself as his run slowed into a jog and then into more of a stumbling-in-the-dark walk that led him to trip and...
Sploosh!
Though he didn't land in the deep part of the pool itself, the shallow spot of water that Sean did fall in face-first was certainly enough to get him wet from head to toe (well, more or less) on his front, with a nice side of mud thrown in.
Yep, better and better all the time...
Shaking himself off in an attempt to avoid getting too chilled to the bone (the evening being a bit cool to be outside, soaked to the bone in), Sean looked around and spied...
"Todd?" Beat. "Uh...what happened to...you know...your..."
Thingsyouwear...ohwhyamIhavingsomuchtroublethinkingofthiswordmanIneedsomesleep...
"...clothes?"
Suffice it to say that Todd was showing more of himself than Sean ever expected to see. Go figure.
Long about the time Todd came to the realization that he'd been robbed by a monkey (of some sort or another), Sean stumbled into the vicinity, bolting from being momentarily held hostage by some kid he'd never seen before.
This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Sean mused to himself as his run slowed into a jog and then into more of a stumbling-in-the-dark walk that led him to trip and...
Sploosh!
Though he didn't land in the deep part of the pool itself, the shallow spot of water that Sean did fall in face-first was certainly enough to get him wet from head to toe (well, more or less) on his front, with a nice side of mud thrown in.
Yep, better and better all the time...
Shaking himself off in an attempt to avoid getting too chilled to the bone (the evening being a bit cool to be outside, soaked to the bone in), Sean looked around and spied...
"Todd?" Beat. "Uh...what happened to...you know...your..."
Thingsyouwear...ohwhyamIhavingsomuchtroublethinkingofthiswordmanIneedsomesleep...
"...clothes?"
Suffice it to say that Todd was showing more of himself than Sean ever expected to see. Go figure.
Todd was busy trying to figure out what had happened to his clothes when some unseen figure stumbled into the pool and interrupted his train of thought, causing the naked boy to yelp in fear as the potentially dangerous newcomer took him by surprise.
However, his fears were quickly subsided the moment he realized the newcomer was none other than Sean Davidson, some loser he knew from Silver Dragon Academy. He didn't particularly know much about the guy apart from the fact that he kept talking to himself during recess, but other then that he was always pretty much an extra in the background of his life as far as Todd was concerned. So to find himself in a situation where he'd be directly speaking with him was something Todd had never expected to do in his entire life.
"Todd?" he asked.
"Uh, hey!" Todd replied, holding back the temptation to laugh out loud at the now thoroughly drenched Sean.
"Uh...what happened to...you know...your...... clothes?" Sean asked, promptly reminding Todd of the fact that he was still stark naked.
"I... I have no freaking clue. One minute, they were all lying in a nice pile, the next..." He clicked his fingers "...Gone! Vanished! Completely fuckin' disappeared! Like they just grew a par of legs and decided to bail on me!"
He felt a chill in the air, prompting Todd to huddle up and hold his legs closer to him. As he looked back up Sean's bag, an idea cropped up in his head. Possibly one of the few rational ideas he'd ever come up with...
"Say, uh, I don't suppose you have a spare outfit in that bag I could borrow?"
However, his fears were quickly subsided the moment he realized the newcomer was none other than Sean Davidson, some loser he knew from Silver Dragon Academy. He didn't particularly know much about the guy apart from the fact that he kept talking to himself during recess, but other then that he was always pretty much an extra in the background of his life as far as Todd was concerned. So to find himself in a situation where he'd be directly speaking with him was something Todd had never expected to do in his entire life.
"Todd?" he asked.
"Uh, hey!" Todd replied, holding back the temptation to laugh out loud at the now thoroughly drenched Sean.
"Uh...what happened to...you know...your...... clothes?" Sean asked, promptly reminding Todd of the fact that he was still stark naked.
"I... I have no freaking clue. One minute, they were all lying in a nice pile, the next..." He clicked his fingers "...Gone! Vanished! Completely fuckin' disappeared! Like they just grew a par of legs and decided to bail on me!"
He felt a chill in the air, prompting Todd to huddle up and hold his legs closer to him. As he looked back up Sean's bag, an idea cropped up in his head. Possibly one of the few rational ideas he'd ever come up with...
"Say, uh, I don't suppose you have a spare outfit in that bag I could borrow?"
Kicking Akamatsu in the face since 2010
((Anna Hitchins continues from Smoke on the Water))
The funny thing about loud, white girls like Anna was that they weren't really adept for the unkept wilderness.
Sure, there were those classic TV shows like Survivor. You know, the one where those people were just trying to live in a place, probably a hot island where the skinny blonde girls could wear next-to-nothing while the forums were in uproar with talk of tactics and scum? See, Anna would have been perfectly fine there. She had people who'd help her, people who trusted her, and would probably be kind enough to vote her out after only her second mental breakdown. She found a DVD, with flavour text not unlike the one in her bag swinging to and fro as the girl calmly stumbled throughout the trees.
Of course, there wasn't any kind friends here. The only way she was getting "voted off the island at tribal council" was when that metaphor extended itself to death in all forms and possibilities.
So in retrospect, it wasn't really that funny, at least not for Anna. It was more annoying, really, since she had gone so long without getting a good rest or seeing anyone of her friends or people she knew and trusted that it was kinda making her a bit paranoid.
This rainforest seemed to stretch out forever. Sand turned to grass, grass turned to vinery and shrubbery, and then the sand seemed to take a life of its own and start flying about intent on vampiring her to a bloody bloody death! That or a few mosquitoes here and there were wrecking havoc on her not-that-perfect skin, turning it to a bumpy road. The entire lower half of her face resembled a red itchy bloody mess, but Anna was still fighting off the urge to scratch the hell out of that hunk of meat resembling a jaw right now.
Not that the rest of her was doing any better. Remember? Loud, white slightly-fat girl on the middle of a deserted island in a rainforest where she'd seen no one for hours (maybe even days, she'd lost count a long time ago, even that drastically).
"Fucking...fuckity fuck, I can't do this..." Anna slumped forward and twisted her sausage fingers around the edge of a large deformed tree, reaching out in what looked like serious agony to the sky, if it were a human. Human trees. What a thought.
Anna's butt snuggly shaped itself into the folds of the overground roots holding the tree behind her. This was it for now. Her little shelter. Her camp, the tribe of Anna. She was chief firewood collector, decision maker, water insert-synonym-for-collector-here.
Ooh wait, there was water in her bag, wasn't there? Anna's hands made quick work of ripping apart the whole thing just for that bottle of liquid gold she so desperately needed. Fuck real gold, everything shrunk down like a guy meeting a hot Christian girl in comparison to needing something so precious.
Her chin and mouth were only just beginning to engulf itself in a river when she heard a loud screech through the wilderness, and Anna watched as a little speaker perched in the overhead tree rumbled and sent a cloud of bats flying.
Okay, so announcements, right? Just as long as no one I know, NO-ONE I know isn't on there, I'll be fine. Fuck those other people. Can't trust them. I can trust anyone but...you know, those guys and bitch back at that stupid beach.
We only have one death so far, but not to fret. There's plenty else to go around... Well, except for everybody but An
away from The Resort Hotel and The Inland Lake. If you're anywhere near there, you have a little while to get out."
Well, that was good. At least, like, Amber or Anthony aren't there at all. I mean, who's Karen Ruiz anyway? She probably killed one of those rich kids, I don't even recognise the name they said.
A smile stretched across Anna's face as she recovered from the sheer tenseness (totally a word in some language) of the whole announcements thing. Well, that was a whole lot of worry over nothing. None of her friends were even mentioned in any way in them, what was there to really worry about?
In any other situation, were she not covering her bumpy and itchy face in water, she would have noticed the tears that were pluming down her face to mesh salt with fresh water.
Ugh, the water tastes weird now, it's got this weird salty thing to it, is it some kind of surprise new flav-WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY HEAD-
While Anna sat motionless listening to the voice in the sky, a large, long legged spider crept along the damp bark and onto the stiffer strands of her hair, absently stuck to a sharp cut in the wood. It took mere moments to realise there was pressure up there, and even less time to start screaming.
"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF-"
Anna ran stumbling through a clearing, and reached a mellow slope going towards some sort of pool (and unbenounst to her, other people), where she twisted and thrived trying to get whatever was on her head, off her head and back to nature. Her feet met a root, over which her body fell abruptly. Fate wanted her to keep on tumbling, but her body had other plans. She fell like a weight being swung to the ground, and her yells were abruptly muted by the lack of available mouth.
Moments after falling, she rolled over to the side, where she lay there close to crying in pain (and some weird feeling she couldn't quite place).
"Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
The funny thing about loud, white girls like Anna was that they weren't really adept for the unkept wilderness.
Sure, there were those classic TV shows like Survivor. You know, the one where those people were just trying to live in a place, probably a hot island where the skinny blonde girls could wear next-to-nothing while the forums were in uproar with talk of tactics and scum? See, Anna would have been perfectly fine there. She had people who'd help her, people who trusted her, and would probably be kind enough to vote her out after only her second mental breakdown. She found a DVD, with flavour text not unlike the one in her bag swinging to and fro as the girl calmly stumbled throughout the trees.
Of course, there wasn't any kind friends here. The only way she was getting "voted off the island at tribal council" was when that metaphor extended itself to death in all forms and possibilities.
So in retrospect, it wasn't really that funny, at least not for Anna. It was more annoying, really, since she had gone so long without getting a good rest or seeing anyone of her friends or people she knew and trusted that it was kinda making her a bit paranoid.
This rainforest seemed to stretch out forever. Sand turned to grass, grass turned to vinery and shrubbery, and then the sand seemed to take a life of its own and start flying about intent on vampiring her to a bloody bloody death! That or a few mosquitoes here and there were wrecking havoc on her not-that-perfect skin, turning it to a bumpy road. The entire lower half of her face resembled a red itchy bloody mess, but Anna was still fighting off the urge to scratch the hell out of that hunk of meat resembling a jaw right now.
Not that the rest of her was doing any better. Remember? Loud, white slightly-fat girl on the middle of a deserted island in a rainforest where she'd seen no one for hours (maybe even days, she'd lost count a long time ago, even that drastically).
"Fucking...fuckity fuck, I can't do this..." Anna slumped forward and twisted her sausage fingers around the edge of a large deformed tree, reaching out in what looked like serious agony to the sky, if it were a human. Human trees. What a thought.
Anna's butt snuggly shaped itself into the folds of the overground roots holding the tree behind her. This was it for now. Her little shelter. Her camp, the tribe of Anna. She was chief firewood collector, decision maker, water insert-synonym-for-collector-here.
Ooh wait, there was water in her bag, wasn't there? Anna's hands made quick work of ripping apart the whole thing just for that bottle of liquid gold she so desperately needed. Fuck real gold, everything shrunk down like a guy meeting a hot Christian girl in comparison to needing something so precious.
Her chin and mouth were only just beginning to engulf itself in a river when she heard a loud screech through the wilderness, and Anna watched as a little speaker perched in the overhead tree rumbled and sent a cloud of bats flying.
Okay, so announcements, right? Just as long as no one I know, NO-ONE I know isn't on there, I'll be fine. Fuck those other people. Can't trust them. I can trust anyone but...you know, those guys and bitch back at that stupid beach.
We only have one death so far, but not to fret. There's plenty else to go around... Well, except for everybody but An
away from The Resort Hotel and The Inland Lake. If you're anywhere near there, you have a little while to get out."
Well, that was good. At least, like, Amber or Anthony aren't there at all. I mean, who's Karen Ruiz anyway? She probably killed one of those rich kids, I don't even recognise the name they said.
A smile stretched across Anna's face as she recovered from the sheer tenseness (totally a word in some language) of the whole announcements thing. Well, that was a whole lot of worry over nothing. None of her friends were even mentioned in any way in them, what was there to really worry about?
In any other situation, were she not covering her bumpy and itchy face in water, she would have noticed the tears that were pluming down her face to mesh salt with fresh water.
Ugh, the water tastes weird now, it's got this weird salty thing to it, is it some kind of surprise new flav-WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY HEAD-
While Anna sat motionless listening to the voice in the sky, a large, long legged spider crept along the damp bark and onto the stiffer strands of her hair, absently stuck to a sharp cut in the wood. It took mere moments to realise there was pressure up there, and even less time to start screaming.
"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF-"
Anna ran stumbling through a clearing, and reached a mellow slope going towards some sort of pool (and unbenounst to her, other people), where she twisted and thrived trying to get whatever was on her head, off her head and back to nature. Her feet met a root, over which her body fell abruptly. Fate wanted her to keep on tumbling, but her body had other plans. She fell like a weight being swung to the ground, and her yells were abruptly muted by the lack of available mouth.
Moments after falling, she rolled over to the side, where she lay there close to crying in pain (and some weird feeling she couldn't quite place).
"Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
"I... I have no freaking clue. One minute, they were all lying in a nice pile, the next...Gone! Vanished! Completely fuckin' disappeared! Like they just grew a par of legs and decided to bail on me!"
Sean sighed. "Great. This show stinks enough without someone stealing clothes..."
Or getting soaked. Or very likely dying. Or...well, it just sucks.
"Say, uh, I don't suppose you have a spare outfit in that bag I could borrow?"
The question brought a sigh from Sean, who looked down at his own clothes.
"Yes and no. Uh...there's another outfit in here, but I'm going to need to get these off right now. It's not exactly warm out tonight..."
Which you're obviously finding out the hard way...
"...so if you'll let me change and you can wear these for a while?"
Well, at least until either someone kills you and you can rob a corpse...which will, of course, make for wonderful television.
With that, Sean reached into his pack, rummaged around, and winced when he sorted out the outfit he'd been issued.
Is this thing even large enough for me...?
==============================
A couple of minutes (and a fair bit of discarded modesty) later, Sean zipped up the overly-tight jumpsuit that the producers of the show had so thoughtfully issued him with as a backup outfit. It might have made for some nice fanservice on a football player...
Actually, it would have looked pretty good on one of them...if you're a girl looking for a hot date, that is...
...but which just looked bad on him, particularly given that it felt about a size too small, though that might've been because Sean had opted to toss one of the extra t-shirts they gave him on underneath the suit so he could be a little warmer without adding too much (more) clashing color to what he was wearing. At his feet were a change of clothes, pockets and so forth all empty, which he nodded for Todd to take.
"All yours for now. I'll let you get changed."
"Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
...what?
"Who's there?" Sean drawled out, sounding vaguely like an irate Texan sheriff.
Sean sighed. "Great. This show stinks enough without someone stealing clothes..."
Or getting soaked. Or very likely dying. Or...well, it just sucks.
"Say, uh, I don't suppose you have a spare outfit in that bag I could borrow?"
The question brought a sigh from Sean, who looked down at his own clothes.
"Yes and no. Uh...there's another outfit in here, but I'm going to need to get these off right now. It's not exactly warm out tonight..."
Which you're obviously finding out the hard way...
"...so if you'll let me change and you can wear these for a while?"
Well, at least until either someone kills you and you can rob a corpse...which will, of course, make for wonderful television.
With that, Sean reached into his pack, rummaged around, and winced when he sorted out the outfit he'd been issued.
Is this thing even large enough for me...?
==============================
A couple of minutes (and a fair bit of discarded modesty) later, Sean zipped up the overly-tight jumpsuit that the producers of the show had so thoughtfully issued him with as a backup outfit. It might have made for some nice fanservice on a football player...
Actually, it would have looked pretty good on one of them...if you're a girl looking for a hot date, that is...
...but which just looked bad on him, particularly given that it felt about a size too small, though that might've been because Sean had opted to toss one of the extra t-shirts they gave him on underneath the suit so he could be a little warmer without adding too much (more) clashing color to what he was wearing. At his feet were a change of clothes, pockets and so forth all empty, which he nodded for Todd to take.
"All yours for now. I'll let you get changed."
"Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
...what?
"Who's there?" Sean drawled out, sounding vaguely like an irate Texan sheriff.
Todd cocked his eyebrow in confusion as Sean suggested that he wear his worthless soaking wet clothes, and was about to start whining when he suddenly realised that he wasn't exactly in the best position to complain. So instead, he simply shrugged and decided to take the bone which lady luck had thrown him with open arms. Drenched clothes were better than no clothes, right?
"Uh, sure, whatever buddy... Just don't get all naked and stuff in front of me, 'kay? Last thing I wanna see right now is another guy's dong."
He waited patiently for the next couple of minutes or so as Sean got changed, whistling a tune to himself as he did so. Wasn't exactly sure what tune it was, probably some crappy song he heard on the radio one time and couldn't get out of his head. Fact of the matter was, once he got his new set of clothes, the problem of what the heck he should do next was still there. He could always try to mooch of Sean for a while, seeing as he could use a good bite to eat. Sean wouldn't mind if he snatched a couple of loafs of bread and his coke, would he? Its not like he was going to need it all anyway...
Eventually, the other boy returned in his ridiculous looking jumpsuit which Todd couldn't help but snicker uncontrollably at the sight of. It almost distracted him from the fact that he now had to wear Sean's drenched, thorughly ruined clothing instead of the sweat-ass shirt and jeans he took with him to this friggin' island.
"All yours for now. I'll let you get changed."
"Uh, than-""Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
Oh you gotta be fucking kiddin' me...
Suddenly, ANOTHER schmuck suddenly came out of nowhere and started yelping in pain, causing Todd to jump to attention and yet out a little girlish shriek of fear himself. "GAH! What the crap?!?"
"Who's there?" Sean said, prompting Todd to make his own demands in order to make sure that he didn't sound like a complete wuss. Something which at this point was somewhat difficult to prove...
"Uh, YEAH! Show better show yourself, or else I'll sick this mean mofo on you! And trust me, you DON'T want him mad. He totally bites, and... Stuff...... SO YOU BETTER WATCH IT!"
Heh, man. I almost convinced myself... And best of all, if something goes wrong, Sean can take the blame whilst I make a run for it! BITCHIN'!
"Uh, sure, whatever buddy... Just don't get all naked and stuff in front of me, 'kay? Last thing I wanna see right now is another guy's dong."
He waited patiently for the next couple of minutes or so as Sean got changed, whistling a tune to himself as he did so. Wasn't exactly sure what tune it was, probably some crappy song he heard on the radio one time and couldn't get out of his head. Fact of the matter was, once he got his new set of clothes, the problem of what the heck he should do next was still there. He could always try to mooch of Sean for a while, seeing as he could use a good bite to eat. Sean wouldn't mind if he snatched a couple of loafs of bread and his coke, would he? Its not like he was going to need it all anyway...
Eventually, the other boy returned in his ridiculous looking jumpsuit which Todd couldn't help but snicker uncontrollably at the sight of. It almost distracted him from the fact that he now had to wear Sean's drenched, thorughly ruined clothing instead of the sweat-ass shirt and jeans he took with him to this friggin' island.
"All yours for now. I'll let you get changed."
"Uh, than-""Ahaowowowowow...that fucking hurt..."
Oh you gotta be fucking kiddin' me...
Suddenly, ANOTHER schmuck suddenly came out of nowhere and started yelping in pain, causing Todd to jump to attention and yet out a little girlish shriek of fear himself. "GAH! What the crap?!?"
"Who's there?" Sean said, prompting Todd to make his own demands in order to make sure that he didn't sound like a complete wuss. Something which at this point was somewhat difficult to prove...
"Uh, YEAH! Show better show yourself, or else I'll sick this mean mofo on you! And trust me, you DON'T want him mad. He totally bites, and... Stuff...... SO YOU BETTER WATCH IT!"
Heh, man. I almost convinced myself... And best of all, if something goes wrong, Sean can take the blame whilst I make a run for it! BITCHIN'!
Kicking Akamatsu in the face since 2010
<<Axel Stadler entering from Smoke on the Water>>
"Oh for fuck's sake," Axel muttered for maybe the millionth time as he stumbled between the massive tree roots. She'd only had what, five or ten seconds' head start on him, yet he'd seen no sign of her for...how many hours? No, he had seen some signs, some places where it looked like maybe someone had walked through before him, but Axel had no way of guaranteeing it was her, or that it was even a human being. Or in fact, that they were actually signs at all because he'd never been in a fucking jungle in his life and was just guessing.
The mosquitoes were awful and the producers had not had the kindness to provide any sort of bug spray. Axel had gone back into his bag for the presumably Scottish jacket that had come with the kilt and put it on. On the plus side, long sleeves. On the minus, it was goddamn hot. He'd re-tied his bandana over his mouth and lower face like a Mexican bandido in a fucking western movie. He was stuck with putting Aloe gel on the bites wherever his skin was exposed.
Day One, the Day of Boredom and Frustration. Even after the brief encounter on the beach that morning. Axel was missing the beach pretty badly by now. Nothing to trip on. No mud. No fucking bugs. And on the tactical side, visibility. If Axel hadn't been sweating from the heat, he would have been from the feeling that someone was going to jump him any moment from behind one of the trees.
I'm really going to kill her when I find her. It was genuinely funny to him to contemplate the line between the figurative and the literal in that sentence. He was still thinking metaphorically, but who knew what he'd think if he stayed lost in the stupid jungle for a few more hours?
He'd gotten out the other sock from his bag and filled it with rocks again a few hours ago. A mediocre weapon was better than none at all. Not none at all, the Complete Team Rosters. He'd found that pamphlet when he'd been going through the backpack.
BLUE TEAM. Consisting of Jaszmine "Who The Fuck Spells It Like That" Johnson, Anna "I Run Off Into Fucking Jungles" Hitchins, Joshua "I've Got Nothing For Him" Doyle, Lou "Guy Whose Machete I Could Be Using A Lot Better Right Now" Becker, and of course, Axel "Stuck With The Paperwork" Stadler.
The really important one to find, of course, was Jaszmine, by virtue of the gun she lucked into getting. But Axel had no idea where to even start looking. By now, he'd more or less given up with trying to find Anna. She seemed useless and so was her 'weapon'. Maybe she'd fallen into a ditch somewhere. He was more concerned with finding a way out of the jungle by now, but so far he was having no luck. God, once the initial franticness wore off, it was boring to be lost. He ate the jerky in his bag. He drank the Coke first while it was still sort of cold. He went through a bottle and a half of the water throughout the day, noticeably lightening the load he was carrying. He kicked rocks around and smacked a few branches with the ones in the sock.
Finally, the announcements came through to break the monotony. He could hear a loudspeaker somewhere in the trees, maybe fifty yards, a hundred yards, who knew, some distance away. He changed his path and walked closer to hear better.
First and only death, Anthony Rollins. Axel got out the roster again and checked Anthony's name. Anthony Rollins of the glorious PINK TEAM. Anthony Rollins, carrier of the mighty Basket-Hilted Claymore. The backpack had given him nothing to write with, so he punched a hole through Anthony's name with the scissor blade taped to the Epi Pen.
Is someone going to punch a hole in my name after I get killed? He mentally shrugged in response to the thought. If it happens, it happens. There weren't many people who'd miss him too hard if he got killed on the island, and there really wasn't all that much he'd miss too hard about his life.
When the announcement died down, he realized he could hear other voices, real people voices, from even further away. He put away the roster and zipped his bag up, carrying only his weapons in his hand. He moved quickly between the trees, listening as the voices grew louder...
"Oh for fuck's sake," Axel muttered for maybe the millionth time as he stumbled between the massive tree roots. She'd only had what, five or ten seconds' head start on him, yet he'd seen no sign of her for...how many hours? No, he had seen some signs, some places where it looked like maybe someone had walked through before him, but Axel had no way of guaranteeing it was her, or that it was even a human being. Or in fact, that they were actually signs at all because he'd never been in a fucking jungle in his life and was just guessing.
The mosquitoes were awful and the producers had not had the kindness to provide any sort of bug spray. Axel had gone back into his bag for the presumably Scottish jacket that had come with the kilt and put it on. On the plus side, long sleeves. On the minus, it was goddamn hot. He'd re-tied his bandana over his mouth and lower face like a Mexican bandido in a fucking western movie. He was stuck with putting Aloe gel on the bites wherever his skin was exposed.
Day One, the Day of Boredom and Frustration. Even after the brief encounter on the beach that morning. Axel was missing the beach pretty badly by now. Nothing to trip on. No mud. No fucking bugs. And on the tactical side, visibility. If Axel hadn't been sweating from the heat, he would have been from the feeling that someone was going to jump him any moment from behind one of the trees.
I'm really going to kill her when I find her. It was genuinely funny to him to contemplate the line between the figurative and the literal in that sentence. He was still thinking metaphorically, but who knew what he'd think if he stayed lost in the stupid jungle for a few more hours?
He'd gotten out the other sock from his bag and filled it with rocks again a few hours ago. A mediocre weapon was better than none at all. Not none at all, the Complete Team Rosters. He'd found that pamphlet when he'd been going through the backpack.
BLUE TEAM. Consisting of Jaszmine "Who The Fuck Spells It Like That" Johnson, Anna "I Run Off Into Fucking Jungles" Hitchins, Joshua "I've Got Nothing For Him" Doyle, Lou "Guy Whose Machete I Could Be Using A Lot Better Right Now" Becker, and of course, Axel "Stuck With The Paperwork" Stadler.
The really important one to find, of course, was Jaszmine, by virtue of the gun she lucked into getting. But Axel had no idea where to even start looking. By now, he'd more or less given up with trying to find Anna. She seemed useless and so was her 'weapon'. Maybe she'd fallen into a ditch somewhere. He was more concerned with finding a way out of the jungle by now, but so far he was having no luck. God, once the initial franticness wore off, it was boring to be lost. He ate the jerky in his bag. He drank the Coke first while it was still sort of cold. He went through a bottle and a half of the water throughout the day, noticeably lightening the load he was carrying. He kicked rocks around and smacked a few branches with the ones in the sock.
Finally, the announcements came through to break the monotony. He could hear a loudspeaker somewhere in the trees, maybe fifty yards, a hundred yards, who knew, some distance away. He changed his path and walked closer to hear better.
First and only death, Anthony Rollins. Axel got out the roster again and checked Anthony's name. Anthony Rollins of the glorious PINK TEAM. Anthony Rollins, carrier of the mighty Basket-Hilted Claymore. The backpack had given him nothing to write with, so he punched a hole through Anthony's name with the scissor blade taped to the Epi Pen.
Is someone going to punch a hole in my name after I get killed? He mentally shrugged in response to the thought. If it happens, it happens. There weren't many people who'd miss him too hard if he got killed on the island, and there really wasn't all that much he'd miss too hard about his life.
When the announcement died down, he realized he could hear other voices, real people voices, from even further away. He put away the roster and zipped his bag up, carrying only his weapons in his hand. He moved quickly between the trees, listening as the voices grew louder...
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Flayer. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
"Uh, YEAH! Show better show yourself, or else I'll sick this mean mofo on you! And trust me, you DON'T want him mad. He totally bites, and... Stuff...... SO YOU BETTER WATCH IT!"
Sean rolled his eyes at Todd's blatant posturing, visibly nonplussed at what was likely a more effective show for the cameras than actually a "winning" tactic, and let out something that came between a frustrated sigh and a groan of the sort that you hear from audience members when someone in a bad movie shoots off some overly stereotypical line.
Just what I need...someone shooting their mouth off. Great move, Todd...now if they're armed, they'll start with shooting and then ask questions...
"Right. What he said. Except..." Beat. "Todd, are you asking for someone to just start shooting at us in the darkness? Because as much as I don't like being in this game and I look like a fighter pilot who got a day-glo flight suit..."
And as much as I'm probably not getting out of here either way...
"...I would really rather not die because someone shot me in the dark. You do realize that half of the people on this island are from Detroit, right?"
And another, resigned sigh escaped from Sean's lungs as he tried to defuse...well, whatever situation Todd might have set up. "Look, come out, we won't bite. Or shoot...or anything like that unless you make us."
Which I really hope Mr. Genius over here doesn't make us have to do, because all I've got is a water gun.
Sean rolled his eyes at Todd's blatant posturing, visibly nonplussed at what was likely a more effective show for the cameras than actually a "winning" tactic, and let out something that came between a frustrated sigh and a groan of the sort that you hear from audience members when someone in a bad movie shoots off some overly stereotypical line.
Just what I need...someone shooting their mouth off. Great move, Todd...now if they're armed, they'll start with shooting and then ask questions...
"Right. What he said. Except..." Beat. "Todd, are you asking for someone to just start shooting at us in the darkness? Because as much as I don't like being in this game and I look like a fighter pilot who got a day-glo flight suit..."
And as much as I'm probably not getting out of here either way...
"...I would really rather not die because someone shot me in the dark. You do realize that half of the people on this island are from Detroit, right?"
And another, resigned sigh escaped from Sean's lungs as he tried to defuse...well, whatever situation Todd might have set up. "Look, come out, we won't bite. Or shoot...or anything like that unless you make us."
Which I really hope Mr. Genius over here doesn't make us have to do, because all I've got is a water gun.
((In the interest of getting you guys rolling again, here be an Annapost))
Even in pain, dealing with the salty tasting water, and curled up in a ball, Anna was still a child of television and performance. So, when she heard the western drawl of another person speaking, she immediately wondered when it was she'd found herself in Stagecoach, or True Grit. That and what role she was supposed to play.
"Issat...Is that John Wayne?
She pushed herself up to a full sitting position, looking around, squinting into the darkness, wishing as she did that Anthony was here to get this on camera. Anna Hitchins, webstar extraordinaire, was going to be in a Western comedy, a new tour de force to hit the internet in only a few weeks. It would be exciting, it would be hilarious, and as a bonus, the big 19th century dresses she'd get to wear would hide her less than stellar figure.
She was disappointed to see that the owner of the voice was not, in fact, the Duke, and that she was not, in fact, the female lead in a John Ford film, and that she was (in fact) still on SOTF-TV.
It still might have been a comedy, considering the fact that the one with the wavy black hair was in a neon jumpsuit. He looked like a fluorescent lightbulb come to life.
Then the other one tried his best to to be intimidating, which Anna found more than a little hysterical. He was built like a bunch of pipe cleaners tied together, and he was dressed like Broseidon, king of the fucking Brocean. She knew she hadn't seen them anywhere, so they must have been from that Texas school. As if the accent didn't give it away.
Anna wished she could have just hid, but she'd already said something. Besides, it wasn't right to keep the viewers waiting for something to happen, right? Maybe these guys were a better pick to run with than the people back on the beach. Anna at least KNEW those kids weren't great for her. That and she had hit a couple of them with rocks. She was sure people didn't like getting hit with rocks. Seemed right.
Anna stood up, brushing some dirt off of her skirt and rubbing her head. A swollen knot was forming, probably from some rock or summat she managed to hit on her tumble. The guy with the accent spoke up again, asking nicely for her to come out. It looked like she was set now.
"You cowboys have run into some good fortune, here, as I've come to grace you with my company!" She said, delivering the line with stage-precise diction even as she slipped inadvertently into a drawl reminiscent of the first boy's own accent.
Anna stepped into view, grandly. Well, as grandly as a short, chubby webstar from Detroit could.
Even in pain, dealing with the salty tasting water, and curled up in a ball, Anna was still a child of television and performance. So, when she heard the western drawl of another person speaking, she immediately wondered when it was she'd found herself in Stagecoach, or True Grit. That and what role she was supposed to play.
"Issat...Is that John Wayne?
She pushed herself up to a full sitting position, looking around, squinting into the darkness, wishing as she did that Anthony was here to get this on camera. Anna Hitchins, webstar extraordinaire, was going to be in a Western comedy, a new tour de force to hit the internet in only a few weeks. It would be exciting, it would be hilarious, and as a bonus, the big 19th century dresses she'd get to wear would hide her less than stellar figure.
She was disappointed to see that the owner of the voice was not, in fact, the Duke, and that she was not, in fact, the female lead in a John Ford film, and that she was (in fact) still on SOTF-TV.
It still might have been a comedy, considering the fact that the one with the wavy black hair was in a neon jumpsuit. He looked like a fluorescent lightbulb come to life.
Then the other one tried his best to to be intimidating, which Anna found more than a little hysterical. He was built like a bunch of pipe cleaners tied together, and he was dressed like Broseidon, king of the fucking Brocean. She knew she hadn't seen them anywhere, so they must have been from that Texas school. As if the accent didn't give it away.
Anna wished she could have just hid, but she'd already said something. Besides, it wasn't right to keep the viewers waiting for something to happen, right? Maybe these guys were a better pick to run with than the people back on the beach. Anna at least KNEW those kids weren't great for her. That and she had hit a couple of them with rocks. She was sure people didn't like getting hit with rocks. Seemed right.
Anna stood up, brushing some dirt off of her skirt and rubbing her head. A swollen knot was forming, probably from some rock or summat she managed to hit on her tumble. The guy with the accent spoke up again, asking nicely for her to come out. It looked like she was set now.
"You cowboys have run into some good fortune, here, as I've come to grace you with my company!" She said, delivering the line with stage-precise diction even as she slipped inadvertently into a drawl reminiscent of the first boy's own accent.
Anna stepped into view, grandly. Well, as grandly as a short, chubby webstar from Detroit could.
Well, someone sure sounds butthurt...
Todd simply shrugged when Sean began berating him for apparently endangering their lives, even though in actuality Todd was only making sure that should the shit hit the fan, Sean would take the blame whilst he made a run for it.
"Alright, alright, geez man. Take a chill pill!" he said, his attention quickly towards the mysterious voice which began calling out to them. A female voice from someone speaking in a faux Texan accent, talking about gracing them with her company. Naturally, of course, the first thought that came to Todd was that of a smoking hot babe wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini and a cowboy hat.
But, sadly, instead it turned out to belong to some crazy fat chick who was covered in dirt. Ah crap, why do I always bump into the crazy chicks? Can't I ever bump into one of those double dee'd divas who keep showing up on this show? No, instead I have to bump into the fairy godmother and some wannabe cowgirl fat chick.
"...Say what?" was the only reply Todd could come up with as he stood there aimlessly, completely forgetting the fact that he was completely butt naked at the moment...
Man, wouldn't it be awesome though if I cam across some REALLY hot chick on this island? Like, some desperate blond or something who doesn't wanna die a virgin! Man, that would be fuckin' SWEET!
Todd simply shrugged when Sean began berating him for apparently endangering their lives, even though in actuality Todd was only making sure that should the shit hit the fan, Sean would take the blame whilst he made a run for it.
"Alright, alright, geez man. Take a chill pill!" he said, his attention quickly towards the mysterious voice which began calling out to them. A female voice from someone speaking in a faux Texan accent, talking about gracing them with her company. Naturally, of course, the first thought that came to Todd was that of a smoking hot babe wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini and a cowboy hat.
But, sadly, instead it turned out to belong to some crazy fat chick who was covered in dirt. Ah crap, why do I always bump into the crazy chicks? Can't I ever bump into one of those double dee'd divas who keep showing up on this show? No, instead I have to bump into the fairy godmother and some wannabe cowgirl fat chick.
"...Say what?" was the only reply Todd could come up with as he stood there aimlessly, completely forgetting the fact that he was completely butt naked at the moment...
Man, wouldn't it be awesome though if I cam across some REALLY hot chick on this island? Like, some desperate blond or something who doesn't wanna die a virgin! Man, that would be fuckin' SWEET!
Kicking Akamatsu in the face since 2010
-void-
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Flayer. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
"Issat...Is that John Wayne?"
"You cowboys have run into some good fortune, here, as I've come to grace you with my company!"
Great...Todd is being a dolt and now I have some girl, whose ego probably ought to count as a kill when someone finally deflates it, showing up. I've been beaten up twice. Could today get any worse?
...ok, right, I don't want to know because I do know how bad it can get.
Sean groaned at the new arrival, and then looked over at Todd, picking up the soaked clothes.
"Todd, if you're not going to get dressed, then I'd like my clothes back." Sean glared at the other boy, his displeasure with the situation becoming...readily apparent to everybody around who couldn't already tell. "This isn't exactly my first choice for something to die in, you know." He looked down at the pile of clothes still in front of him, not yet accepted by Todd, and began gathering them up.
Looking around, and with the clothes going quickly into his bag, he took a deep breath and shook his head. "Todd, if you'd like a change of clothes, feel free to follow me. You won't have to steal them...but I need to get moving." A yawn showed his tiredness at the (presumably somewhat) later hour, and he looked around in the woods. "While I know I'll sleep when I'm dead, I'd like to try and get at least a little before then."
And with that, Sean nodded to Anna and began walking off. "Have a good evening..."
WhoeveryouareIdon'tknow...
"...ma'am."
And with that, Sean began yet another trek across the island.
This is going to be a long couple of days...
(Sean Davidson continued in Lost in the Woods.)
"You cowboys have run into some good fortune, here, as I've come to grace you with my company!"
Great...Todd is being a dolt and now I have some girl, whose ego probably ought to count as a kill when someone finally deflates it, showing up. I've been beaten up twice. Could today get any worse?
...ok, right, I don't want to know because I do know how bad it can get.
Sean groaned at the new arrival, and then looked over at Todd, picking up the soaked clothes.
"Todd, if you're not going to get dressed, then I'd like my clothes back." Sean glared at the other boy, his displeasure with the situation becoming...readily apparent to everybody around who couldn't already tell. "This isn't exactly my first choice for something to die in, you know." He looked down at the pile of clothes still in front of him, not yet accepted by Todd, and began gathering them up.
Looking around, and with the clothes going quickly into his bag, he took a deep breath and shook his head. "Todd, if you'd like a change of clothes, feel free to follow me. You won't have to steal them...but I need to get moving." A yawn showed his tiredness at the (presumably somewhat) later hour, and he looked around in the woods. "While I know I'll sleep when I'm dead, I'd like to try and get at least a little before then."
And with that, Sean nodded to Anna and began walking off. "Have a good evening..."
WhoeveryouareIdon'tknow...
"...ma'am."
And with that, Sean began yet another trek across the island.
This is going to be a long couple of days...
(Sean Davidson continued in Lost in the Woods.)
(OOC: I apologize very much for my delayed response, last couple days have been surprisingly busy. No good excuse, but let's continue)
Axel was getting close enough now to hear the voices distinctly, two male and one female doing a Southern impression. Great. Axel was nervous; not about getting attacked, but about making a bad impression again. He just never had much luck with them. He was always the one who seemed to pop out of nowhere, or to look like he was lurking. Creeping. That was a word that grated on his ears when he heard it.
He slung the weighted sock around his neck like a boa and slid the knife in between his belt and the waistband of his jeans. How to not freak everyone out... He got an idea and pulled the team roster out again. If he was right in thinking he was the only one who had this, it would be an interesting offer to the others. He unwrapped the blue bandana from around his mouth and held it in his other hand.
Here it goes. He took a couple deep breaths, which only made himself more aware of his overaccelerated heartbeat. He came out from behind the tree, walked past a few others, came into view. He was consciously stepping on a couple of twigs just so they'd hear him coming.
"Hey, uh, I'm Axel. Please wait a minute, I have something you might want to see," he said, waving the roster. He wished he didn't sound so goddamn thirsty. "It's the list of all the players and teams. If you have any friends who might be here, you might want to take a look."
Axel was getting close enough now to hear the voices distinctly, two male and one female doing a Southern impression. Great. Axel was nervous; not about getting attacked, but about making a bad impression again. He just never had much luck with them. He was always the one who seemed to pop out of nowhere, or to look like he was lurking. Creeping. That was a word that grated on his ears when he heard it.
He slung the weighted sock around his neck like a boa and slid the knife in between his belt and the waistband of his jeans. How to not freak everyone out... He got an idea and pulled the team roster out again. If he was right in thinking he was the only one who had this, it would be an interesting offer to the others. He unwrapped the blue bandana from around his mouth and held it in his other hand.
Here it goes. He took a couple deep breaths, which only made himself more aware of his overaccelerated heartbeat. He came out from behind the tree, walked past a few others, came into view. He was consciously stepping on a couple of twigs just so they'd hear him coming.
"Hey, uh, I'm Axel. Please wait a minute, I have something you might want to see," he said, waving the roster. He wished he didn't sound so goddamn thirsty. "It's the list of all the players and teams. If you have any friends who might be here, you might want to take a look."
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Flayer. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
Texas left, and Axel from good 'ol Detroit Central had found his way back into the picture, leaving Anna with him and Brotastic.
And Brotastic, Anna had just discovered, was naked. Painfully naked. Agonizingly naked.
Part of her wanted to avert her eyes, like every societal norm required, but she was caught off guard.
"Your um...I think your snake is a little cold there, buddy. Ever think of finding him a proper home?" She said, managing to stifle a giggle.
Axel said something about friends
An
and looking for them on a piece of paper
thony
he had pulled out. But really, she just wanted Cadillac Bro-ham to put on his clothes. Or something.
And Brotastic, Anna had just discovered, was naked. Painfully naked. Agonizingly naked.
Part of her wanted to avert her eyes, like every societal norm required, but she was caught off guard.
"Your um...I think your snake is a little cold there, buddy. Ever think of finding him a proper home?" She said, managing to stifle a giggle.
Axel said something about friends
An
and looking for them on a piece of paper
thony
he had pulled out. But really, she just wanted Cadillac Bro-ham to put on his clothes. Or something.
Todd just continued nodding to what everyone around him said, barely even listening as he continued to ponder his thoughts some more. All he did was nod his head and respond with a half-hearted "Yeah" every once in a while, too busy thinking about chicks to take much notice.
It wasn't until Sean gathered up the clothes and walked off that Todd suddenly snapped out of his trance-like state and realised that his one chance of getting some fresh clothes just walked off unannounced.
"Yeah yeah, sure... Hey, wait a minute, what about my clo-GAH, what the hell was that?!?"
Just as he turned around to give chase, another previously unseen figure emerged from the trees to make themselves known, waving around some kind of roster which apparently listed all the players and teams on the island. After getting over the initial shock, Todd couldn't help but wonder how the hell a roster of all the players might actually come in handy. After all, it wasn't as if you could use it to bash people over the head or anything. You can't KILL someone with a roster, can you?
Naturally, the thought never occurred that he could have used the roster to prove to his team mates that he was actually a member of Team Gold.
The fact that the chubby bimbo started giggling about his nudity didn't help, promptly reminding Todd to cover his shame with his hands as he looked around for some makeshift piece of clothing. Fuck you Sean! Why the heck didn't you leave me with something to wear, you son of a bitch!
"Uh, yeah, thanks for pointing that out toots. Now, if you don't mind, I could use a pair of..."
He stopped mid-sentence as a sight in the trees above Anna's head caught his attention, one which cause his blood to boil in sheer rage.
I don't freaking believe it...
It was a monkey, almost identical to the one he'd bumped into earlier, playing around with his pink polo shirt.
"...Oh, you flea-eating son of BITCH!"
Without even acknowledging either Axel or Anna's reactions to his sudden out burst, Todd immediately made a dash for the tree, his failed attempts at climbing it scaring the primate off into the wilderness. Not wishing to give up so easily, Todd wasted no time in running after it at top speed, desperate to hunt down and murder the playful simian before it could get away.
He almost completely forgot the fact that he still hadn't found himself any clothes to replace his old ones.
((Todd Hudson continued in If You Can't Stand The Heat))
It wasn't until Sean gathered up the clothes and walked off that Todd suddenly snapped out of his trance-like state and realised that his one chance of getting some fresh clothes just walked off unannounced.
"Yeah yeah, sure... Hey, wait a minute, what about my clo-GAH, what the hell was that?!?"
Just as he turned around to give chase, another previously unseen figure emerged from the trees to make themselves known, waving around some kind of roster which apparently listed all the players and teams on the island. After getting over the initial shock, Todd couldn't help but wonder how the hell a roster of all the players might actually come in handy. After all, it wasn't as if you could use it to bash people over the head or anything. You can't KILL someone with a roster, can you?
Naturally, the thought never occurred that he could have used the roster to prove to his team mates that he was actually a member of Team Gold.
The fact that the chubby bimbo started giggling about his nudity didn't help, promptly reminding Todd to cover his shame with his hands as he looked around for some makeshift piece of clothing. Fuck you Sean! Why the heck didn't you leave me with something to wear, you son of a bitch!
"Uh, yeah, thanks for pointing that out toots. Now, if you don't mind, I could use a pair of..."
He stopped mid-sentence as a sight in the trees above Anna's head caught his attention, one which cause his blood to boil in sheer rage.
I don't freaking believe it...
It was a monkey, almost identical to the one he'd bumped into earlier, playing around with his pink polo shirt.
"...Oh, you flea-eating son of BITCH!"
Without even acknowledging either Axel or Anna's reactions to his sudden out burst, Todd immediately made a dash for the tree, his failed attempts at climbing it scaring the primate off into the wilderness. Not wishing to give up so easily, Todd wasted no time in running after it at top speed, desperate to hunt down and murder the playful simian before it could get away.
He almost completely forgot the fact that he still hadn't found himself any clothes to replace his old ones.
((Todd Hudson continued in If You Can't Stand The Heat))
Kicking Akamatsu in the face since 2010