Nobody In The World Ever Gets What They Want

[Catche Jagger]

Clouds filled the morning sky, though they brought no rain or storm. The ocean, too, remained still and silent. The whole world seemed grim, holding its breath in preparation for some disaster that could not be avoided. Or perhaps it mourned something, whether it be the haphazardly arrayed flotilla which played host to such death, or some older, deeper wound.

A ginger-haired girl failed to reappear and had likely fallen into the sea and drowned. All alone. And all because she trusted a boy who could not trust himself.

That same boy had killed another girl, one who wore glasses and who played shopkeep in the middle of a game about murder. The boy hadn’t looked at the mess he’d left behind, hadn’t wanted to think about the mess being his.

The jetties were as quiet as the sea. There was an occasional creak of movement, but steady waters meant that they, too, remained still. Though perhaps that was the way the mind which was so accustomed to walking these paths would feel after spending days running all over them.

Eyes eventually drifted back to the sky. At the edge of the clouds, some rays of sunlight could be seen peeking through, reaching down towards the surface of the water and performing the briefest of dances there, before the sky moved along and they were replaced.

Though he perhaps did not deserve it, James Highchurch felt some sense of comfort here, leaning on the jetty rail, looking out upon the sea. His lips quivered, twisting into something approximating a smile, even as Death loomed over him.

((James Highchurch continued from Feeble Cursed One!))

“Hey, Ivan.”

[The Honeless Beard]

"James," Ivan responded with a nod. He paused, hesitating, before lowering himself to a seated position, sitting beside the other boy with his feet dangling in the water.

"You don't mind if I sit down, do you?"

[Catche Jagger]

“I, uh…

“Yeah, no, um… sure. Yeah, you can sit here.”









“So, yeah.”




“Hey Ivan, have you ever been out in the ocean before? Like, on a boat or whatever?”

[The Honeless Beard]

Ivan waggled his head left to right, wobbled his hand out on front of him. His other was still wrapped around the shotgun, barrel cooling from the blast earlier. He needed to remember to eject the shell casing, load a fresh one.

"My dad was a sailing nut, and a history buff. He was a big fan of boats of all kinds - his favourite story was about the H.L. Hunley."

[Catche Jagger]

“Oh, uh



“I don’t really know about that kind of thing. Like, my dad has a boat and stuff, but he didn’t talk to me about sailing or anything. Or history, really, unless he was pissed off about something on the news. Then he just goes off about a bunch of crap, like years and dates and all that.”

“Actually, the most stuff I learned about actual sailing was when I went on this thing as a kid, and it was a sort of tour thing. I think it was on a fishing boat…”






“Actually, I’m not even sure they do that anymore.”



“But I still go out on the boat with my dad a lot.”

[The Honeless Beard]

"The Hunley," Ivan said, "was designed to be one of the best hunters in the world. One of the first submarines, actually. It was used in the Civil War, designed to sink warships. Was considered one of the earliest of her types."

Ivan's head tilted back, regarding the layout of the arena.

"She sunk three times."

[Catche Jagger]

“I don’t know a lot about that, yeah. Civil War and submarines and all that. Not my thing. Maybe I missed that in class.”




“Obviously, my family doesn’t have a submarine. No, uh, warships here. It’s not a fishing boat like the one from when I was a kid. It’s a- you know, a luxury ship.

“Like, a yacht. A place to relax and spend time with each other. Really nice-looking boat too.”

[The Honeless Beard]

"First time she sank," Ivan continued, "was in testing. It was built by private boat-makers that were on the confederate side of the war, but it wasn't intended for military purposes. I guess the idea was to hold onto it for a patent or something. It was designed for a crew of eight - seven to operate the propeller with these, like,"

Ivan made a rowing motion, looking up at James for approval.

"Hand cranks. One of them steered. It was demonstrated for an admiral, was successful in sinking a shitty little flatboat, and was seized by the confederate military for use in the war.

"When the Confederates took her out, though, they dived with a hatch open."

Ivan chuckled, shaking his head. "Imagine that. Someone builds something special, practices it, perfects the design, and a bunch of bumblefucks take it over and sink it immediately. Five people of the eight man crew drowned."

[Catche Jagger]

“It was a really beautiful boat, and Dad made sure it stayed that way. Ella used to tell me it was his favorite kid when we’d all go out on it together. Well, all of us that were still in Florida.

“It was a cozy sort of thing to go back to. Comforting, you know? Like, not everyone could get along normally, but out on the sea with just each other we’d get a bit closer.

“Well, until Stephen pushed Ella off that one time. She was so mad, lost her phone and some other stuff, I don’t know. Ella didn’t take the joke well, stopped asking about coming on the boat.

“And no one asked her to come, except me, sometimes.”




“I was kind of furious with Stephen for it then. But I also remember laughing. Memory of the feeling changes sometimes.”



“Yeah, anyway. Boat. Still go on it, but now without Ella. Same feeling, being connected with each other, but diminished now.

“Not like it’s good for much else.”

[The Honeless Beard]

"Time number two, Hunley himself was put in charge of the Hunley, deciding that if anyone was going to do this right, it should be the man himself. This was after a bunch of effort to hoist the fucking thing back to the surface. Think about it - the submarine, if you could call it that, was just a collection of gears and pulleys. Its early version of a torpedo was a bunch of dynamite in a steel tube pulled on a rope. The goal was to dive under a ship and literally smack the tube into it, and that would cause an explosion."

Ivan touched the barrel of the shotgun, finding it too hot to eject the casing just yet. A few more moments. He looked at James, twisting his lips sardonically.

"So Hunley decrees, since he has to prove his fucking boat works, that he's going to dive underneath another ship and come out the other side. It'd take three days or so, but he was confident about it. Three weeks later, they found the Hunley with every crewman frozen to death, mid escape attempt. The ballasts were left open, allowing the ship to fill with water. They found the wrench to close the valve on the floor, between two tanks."

Ivan shook his head.

"Hunley, the main man himself, dropped it, couldn't find it, and they all drowned."

[Catche Jagger]

“Yeah, yeah, the boat. Meant to be talking about the boat, not the people, sorry. Got carried away there. There was something to say about it specifically…

“Right, yeah, it was my dad’s story with it.”




“So, I guess this happened when I was little. At least, based on how he tells the story. I’ve never gotten much of an actual date for things, but I can piece it together. Basically, it was this story he told about getting caught up in a storm.

“The way he tells it, him and some of his friends were out on the boat, hanging out or something, when a storm hit. I think he implied it was a hurricane, but it sounded a bit like he was lying, I don’t know.

“But yeah, story goes that Dad’s friends were panicking and didn’t know what the hell they were going to do out there, but he managed to gather everyone up and, like, got things all organized. With everyone on the same page and listening, he managed to pilot the thing back to land.”




“Some of those friends back the story up. At least they believe it.”

[The Honeless Beard]

Ivan tested the shotgun again, ran his trigger finger around the barrel. He felt it burn him, the sudden searing heat making way for coolness as he lifted the finger to the slight ocean breeze. His dark skin was darker, angrier. It'd blister later.

Shooting wasn't supposed to be easy, anyway.

"But after all the fuckups," Ivan continued, "it was war time. The Hunley was out on open waters. Nobody dived with a hatch open or forgot a ballast tank or dropped a fucking wrench. Imagine being the eight crewmen to get on a vessel that was clearly a waking fucking nightmare, a sinking death trap that had already killed thirteen people, and thinking that you're different. Somehow, some way, you were gonna make it.

"But the war happened, and those eight fuckwads got into that little capsule and they rowed out to sea, towing their tube of hillbilly dynamite, and honest to god spotted a warship. The U.S.S Housatonic. The eight man crew towed their stupid dynamite, dove under the Housatonic, smacked that bitch right into the vulnerable space - right below the ship."

Ivan shook his head, marvelling.

"The Housatonic ran aground in shallow waters, the first victim of a submarine attack in history."

[Catche Jagger]

“I don’t think I believe him, though. It doesn’t make any sense to me, I guess.”



“I’ve been on that boat, I know it too well, so I know that’s not how things would’ve gone, not how it could’ve gone down.

“I mean, I don’t think my dad’s lying when he talks about the storm the way he does. Like, I think he believes what he’s saying and that’s the way he remembers it, and that’s how his friends do too. They remember the triumph of overcoming the storm. Not that all of it was luck.

“That boat’s not made for storms, or war, or all that the world could throw at it. It’s built to appeal to the eyes, to be comfortable for its passengers, built for friends and family and easy times.”



“When you take that ship into the heart of a storm, all you do is buckle down and ride it out and pray, because it’s not will or friendship or ruthlessness that takes you home. Twisting and turning and fighting nature however you can will just see that ship torn apart even faster.

“The best you can do as the winds buffet the hull and the waves rise so high that the crash over the deck is hope for a bit of dumb luck.”

[The Honeless Beard]

"When the Housatonic sank, 5 souls died of a crew of 155. 5 measly souls. The crow's nest reported a blue light under the water - swore by it, actually - around 45 minutes after the ship sank."

Ivan chuckled, ruefully.

"Nobody saw the Hunley again for nearly a century. In 95, they discovered it, brought it out of the water. Experts spent years scraping the rust off of its bow to discover all eight crewmen - fully intact, dead by drowning - looking just as they would right before the attack.

"Turned out they figured towing dynamite was a terrible idea. Instead, they attached dynamite to a wooden pole, strapped that to the front of the fucking Hunley, and rammed the Housatonic. The shockwave from the explosion killed all eight members immediately.

"So, the trade was this. 29 people all in all died on the Hunley over three seperate missions, and it sank two boats - one being a practice flat boat - and killed 5 people. And you think about this," Ivan said, looking at James.

"You think about this, and you wonder if it's worth it."

He paused.

"Was it worth it?"

[Catche Jagger]

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just stupid, right?”



“Maybe you’ve got it figured out better.”