Pippi's fingers fumbled at the enamel pin on her sweatshirt. Her outfit was surprisingly gray. The cold and toned down colours were her thing, apparently. It made her skin "pop out" or whatever, but it just made her feel depressed.
The little rainbow pin with 'she/her' kinda helped the whole mood though.
((Pippi continued from the Cheese Club))
She sat crosslegged on the red chair as she waited for the currently unnamed individual she mentally referred as 'Bitchhhhh', as demonstrated by her cellphone contacts. There was a bunch of them that Pippi had never bothered to use, but Bitchhhhh was the one that had been flaring up the most lately. It was always popping up at inopportune time like during practice and shit.
There were also the Ashley notifications, but Pippi was fine with it. After Season Sixty, Ashley had made a comeback and Pippi was back to being engrossed with the little e-personality. Though if Pippi were to be honest about her feelings, the 60's escapees were much more interesting than Ashley, there was something about rebellion and fucking shit up that made Pippi's pupils dilate. It was cool to see people not listening and doing what they want.
Anyways, Pippi grabbed her phone with her two hands and starting with her thumb a short but concise message to the gender neutral, non-pronoun-identified individual, Bitchhhhh.
"Where the fuck are u beeeetch."
yeah, we gay keep scrolling
sophomore year, gsa, idk man im dumb, open
Long breaths. Long breaths.
Be calm.
Just the biggest moment of your life, no big deal. hahahahafuckingshoothershewasgoingtoimplode
Anxiety was seizing her somewhere around the middle and then pulling her in half, bloody chunky halves that would have the coroner going 'gee whiz this boy sure died in a horrible way'. Weird to think that this felt more daunting than talking to her parents, but they'd come to her, not the other way around. She hadn't had time to get afraid. Now though, she had every inch of anticipation building up to this moment. This should be a safe space to share, but she'd never been to a GSA meeting in her life and—what was she supposed to expect? She Didn't Know!!
She'd sort of semi confided in Pippi just cause she knew that she was in on the GSA but she'd also kind of danced around the topic and she was pretty sure she'd implied what the whole deal was but she hadn't actually out and out told Pippi and that made it into this limbo which was—okay, she didn't want to be in limbo, but there was a safety net. There was space to blow it off, back away and go 'haha fooled you, it is in fact I, the jockbro sports captain once more'. Afterwards there would be no going back. Some things couldn't be stuffed back in the closet.
She'd tried to look at herself in the mirror for a pep talk before and goodness-fucking-gracious that'd been a mistake. She looked—she looked not how she wanted to look, and that was as much as she cared to think about it. She didn't want to mess herself up with even more tears.
Her phone beeped. Pippi.
"im there in a sec"
Come on, deep breaths, deep breaths.
You can do this.
Emmy.
Be calm.
Just the biggest moment of your life, no big deal. hahahahafuckingshoothershewasgoingtoimplode
Anxiety was seizing her somewhere around the middle and then pulling her in half, bloody chunky halves that would have the coroner going 'gee whiz this boy sure died in a horrible way'. Weird to think that this felt more daunting than talking to her parents, but they'd come to her, not the other way around. She hadn't had time to get afraid. Now though, she had every inch of anticipation building up to this moment. This should be a safe space to share, but she'd never been to a GSA meeting in her life and—what was she supposed to expect? She Didn't Know!!
She'd sort of semi confided in Pippi just cause she knew that she was in on the GSA but she'd also kind of danced around the topic and she was pretty sure she'd implied what the whole deal was but she hadn't actually out and out told Pippi and that made it into this limbo which was—okay, she didn't want to be in limbo, but there was a safety net. There was space to blow it off, back away and go 'haha fooled you, it is in fact I, the jockbro sports captain once more'. Afterwards there would be no going back. Some things couldn't be stuffed back in the closet.
She'd tried to look at herself in the mirror for a pep talk before and goodness-fucking-gracious that'd been a mistake. She looked—she looked not how she wanted to look, and that was as much as she cared to think about it. She didn't want to mess herself up with even more tears.
Her phone beeped. Pippi.
"im there in a sec"
Come on, deep breaths, deep breaths.
You can do this.
Emmy.
KK good
Pippi's response was as short as possible. There wasn't anything else to say to her friend other than she was waiting for them patiently for whatever bomb they were going to drop. It was something for sure. Pippi didn't know but the something was probably something related to the fact that they were gay or something.
It was that.
The little impatience before knowing the blursed something. It was just like opening a present and not knowing what was inside. It could be a bomb, it could be a cat, it could be a cat with a bomb. There was nothing that could hint her what was going to happen other than the four little letters hanging over her head in the form of a banner.
"Hey miss, my friend is late 'cuz like," Pippi looked at her phone, "girl problems or whatever, ya' know. Can we just wait a sec' before closing the door?"
Miss Wallace nodded. "Tell them to come quickly."
"Thank you miss, you're a real one."
Pippi's response was as short as possible. There wasn't anything else to say to her friend other than she was waiting for them patiently for whatever bomb they were going to drop. It was something for sure. Pippi didn't know but the something was probably something related to the fact that they were gay or something.
It was that.
The little impatience before knowing the blursed something. It was just like opening a present and not knowing what was inside. It could be a bomb, it could be a cat, it could be a cat with a bomb. There was nothing that could hint her what was going to happen other than the four little letters hanging over her head in the form of a banner.
"Hey miss, my friend is late 'cuz like," Pippi looked at her phone, "girl problems or whatever, ya' know. Can we just wait a sec' before closing the door?"
Miss Wallace nodded. "Tell them to come quickly."
"Thank you miss, you're a real one."
im outsi deleted
can u co deleted
maybe next deleted
help
Emmy's hand hovered over the send button.
No, she could do this. She would do this.
Emmy took the half-dozen steps down the corridor and stepped into the room. Into into. Inside. Too many eyes looked back at her.
"..."
Ahh.
"..."
Ahhhhh.
"..."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
"....hello."
can u co deleted
maybe next deleted
help
Emmy's hand hovered over the send button.
No, she could do this. She would do this.
Emmy took the half-dozen steps down the corridor and stepped into the room. Into into. Inside. Too many eyes looked back at her.
"..."
Ahh.
"..."
Ahhhhh.
"..."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
"....hello."
"Hey, Miss Wallace," Pippi stood up and then walked to her friend, "we're aaaaall heeeere."
Her arms gripped at her friend's vacant arm. Pippi replaced her usual frown with a sweet smile. The something was bound to come out at anytime. She had to be there for her friend.
"We are, in fact, all here," said Miss Wallace, "may you close the door, Pippi?"
Pippi nodded twice and said, "yup, you got it" as she shut the door behind her friend's back. She then turned back to her friend and shot her another smirk.
"You're going to love it here," it was a theatrical whisper, a fake confidence to her friend, "sometimes Erika bakes biscuits and we get to decorate them."
It wasn't hard to drag her friend through the desks since Pippi assumed they were in shock or something. She had to take control of the situation before it wrangled out of her control. There was five other people including the teacher in the room. It was honestly a small meeting for a Monday, but it was playing to their strengths. Tiny and comforting just like a boa before it eats you.
"So we should introduce ourselves, right Miss Wallace?"
The teacher smiled and nodded softly. "You want to go first, Pippi? You're the only one inculcating a new person in our cult."
Pippi blew hot air into her cheeks. That was something that was bound to happen.
"Hum, my real name is Pineapple but you can call me Pippi," she said pausing. Everyone in the room also knew this, but they didn't know exactly what was next, "...and I have two dads" she said omitting her mom then proceeded with the hook, "and my cat is named Zelda so that's abouuuuuut it."
She clapped her hands together to signalize the scene was cut, "who's next?"
Her arms gripped at her friend's vacant arm. Pippi replaced her usual frown with a sweet smile. The something was bound to come out at anytime. She had to be there for her friend.
"We are, in fact, all here," said Miss Wallace, "may you close the door, Pippi?"
Pippi nodded twice and said, "yup, you got it" as she shut the door behind her friend's back. She then turned back to her friend and shot her another smirk.
"You're going to love it here," it was a theatrical whisper, a fake confidence to her friend, "sometimes Erika bakes biscuits and we get to decorate them."
It wasn't hard to drag her friend through the desks since Pippi assumed they were in shock or something. She had to take control of the situation before it wrangled out of her control. There was five other people including the teacher in the room. It was honestly a small meeting for a Monday, but it was playing to their strengths. Tiny and comforting just like a boa before it eats you.
"So we should introduce ourselves, right Miss Wallace?"
The teacher smiled and nodded softly. "You want to go first, Pippi? You're the only one inculcating a new person in our cult."
Pippi blew hot air into her cheeks. That was something that was bound to happen.
"Hum, my real name is Pineapple but you can call me Pippi," she said pausing. Everyone in the room also knew this, but they didn't know exactly what was next, "...and I have two dads" she said omitting her mom then proceeded with the hook, "and my cat is named Zelda so that's abouuuuuut it."
She clapped her hands together to signalize the scene was cut, "who's next?"
She'd chickened out of dressing like she should, too afraid of walking through the hallways and the wrong person seeing her and asking what was going on. Underneath her tracksuit top she was wearing something that had advertised itself as a women's cut t-shirt but that Emmy honestly wasn't sure counted. It didn't feel like girls' clothing, but maybe that was because it was on her, who was never going to be able to pass—
No no. None of that. She wasn't letting that happen, not here.
Maybe, if you were right up close, you could see the small amount of foundation Emmy was wearing, but then again, maybe not. She'd felt like a thief in the night, trying it out, even if she was trying to match what she was doing to a tutorial she'd read for her skintone. She pushed the image of herself in front of the mirror from her head. Not helpful, not needed.
Pippi bundled her over to a chair and Emmy sat down heavily, the leg scraping as she pushed it back. She was choking, drowning—no no, come on, handle it, you can handle it. Pippi spoke, the words were a blur. Introduction. Something about her dog. No, cat.
She clapped, Emmy startled. Miss Wallace looked at her and smiled encouragingly. The teacher opened her mouth and there was a million and one things that Emmy dreaded might come out of it, her name that wasn't her name, reference to sports, anything.
She spoke first.
"I'm Emmy.
"I...
"...hi..."
No no. None of that. She wasn't letting that happen, not here.
Maybe, if you were right up close, you could see the small amount of foundation Emmy was wearing, but then again, maybe not. She'd felt like a thief in the night, trying it out, even if she was trying to match what she was doing to a tutorial she'd read for her skintone. She pushed the image of herself in front of the mirror from her head. Not helpful, not needed.
Pippi bundled her over to a chair and Emmy sat down heavily, the leg scraping as she pushed it back. She was choking, drowning—no no, come on, handle it, you can handle it. Pippi spoke, the words were a blur. Introduction. Something about her dog. No, cat.
She clapped, Emmy startled. Miss Wallace looked at her and smiled encouragingly. The teacher opened her mouth and there was a million and one things that Emmy dreaded might come out of it, her name that wasn't her name, reference to sports, anything.
She spoke first.
"I'm Emmy.
"I...
"...hi..."
Oh.
Oh.
That was the something. It was the thing that made Emmy lose sleep. The monster underneath her bed suddenly had a name. It started with "G" and it finished a "A" and it wasn't a Gorilla living in Louisiana. The boogeyman was spotted and Pippi mentally made a note of it for future interactions. It was something to jump on, to attack, it was something that couldn't be trust.
But she didn't let the monster see the gnawing fear inside of her. Instead, she smiled. Pippi showed every single pearly white to Emmy in the attempt to scare the monster away.
"Sup' Emmy," she said casually, "you gotta' say more than that."
Pippi flicked Emmy's shoulder with her fingers. She supposed she was trying to make Emmy's hamster run a little bit faster than it was used to. Social anxiety was truly something fascinating to look at, but it wasn't fun to explore when someone was clearly not having fun. Research had to be consenting, and Emmy clearly wasn't.
"What's your favorite brand of sunscreen?"
Oh.
That was the something. It was the thing that made Emmy lose sleep. The monster underneath her bed suddenly had a name. It started with "G" and it finished a "A" and it wasn't a Gorilla living in Louisiana. The boogeyman was spotted and Pippi mentally made a note of it for future interactions. It was something to jump on, to attack, it was something that couldn't be trust.
But she didn't let the monster see the gnawing fear inside of her. Instead, she smiled. Pippi showed every single pearly white to Emmy in the attempt to scare the monster away.
"Sup' Emmy," she said casually, "you gotta' say more than that."
Pippi flicked Emmy's shoulder with her fingers. She supposed she was trying to make Emmy's hamster run a little bit faster than it was used to. Social anxiety was truly something fascinating to look at, but it wasn't fun to explore when someone was clearly not having fun. Research had to be consenting, and Emmy clearly wasn't.
"What's your favorite brand of sunscreen?"
Her throat was closed up. She couldn't breathe. Everyone was staring at her. Absolutely everyone. How many of them did she know? How many of them knew her? How many were looking at her in disbelief and thinking that no, that's not your name, you're the soccer team captain. you're—the faces were blurring together, blurring into a thousand pairs of eyes and each and every one was judging, judging—Pippi flicked her.
She didn't yelp. She certainly jumped.
Sunscreen? Uh. She—what?
"I'm in a band." She ventured. That was something, and not sunscreen. Emmy looked desperately across at Pippi, pleading with her eyes that that was enough to say for now. That was enough, right?
She didn't yelp. She certainly jumped.
Sunscreen? Uh. She—what?
"I'm in a band." She ventured. That was something, and not sunscreen. Emmy looked desperately across at Pippi, pleading with her eyes that that was enough to say for now. That was enough, right?
"Mhm..." she hummed, her manicured finger set on her chin. Was that good enough for the Gay Gods? She turned around to her peers. They knew her. Everybody knew Emmy one way or the other, or at least, they knew the Old her. It was the something that made this presentation different because the Old Her wouldn't need to do this.
"Well..."
Pippi couldn't quite think of anything else to pick on, but one small thing that would make things easier for the rest of the meeting. Even if most meetings were just spent talking shit about the Cheese Club stealing their members or even watching movies that shouldn't be watched in a school setting, there still was the main attraction that everyone here was kinda gay.
"I think," she said, unpinning her enamel pronoun badge off her chest, "you just need this."
Her fingers trailed on Emmy's lean upper body. From her shoulder to her clavicles, her finger dragged a line to find the right spot to pin down the new member of the GSA. Perpendicular from Emmy's right armpit and her prominent shoulder bone, she lifted the fabric of the shirt. As she slipped the pin and then proceeded to secure it, Pippi flashed a smile to Emmy.
"Tada!" She was beaming like a proud mother, "you're officially part of the GSA's."
"Well..."
Pippi couldn't quite think of anything else to pick on, but one small thing that would make things easier for the rest of the meeting. Even if most meetings were just spent talking shit about the Cheese Club stealing their members or even watching movies that shouldn't be watched in a school setting, there still was the main attraction that everyone here was kinda gay.
"I think," she said, unpinning her enamel pronoun badge off her chest, "you just need this."
Her fingers trailed on Emmy's lean upper body. From her shoulder to her clavicles, her finger dragged a line to find the right spot to pin down the new member of the GSA. Perpendicular from Emmy's right armpit and her prominent shoulder bone, she lifted the fabric of the shirt. As she slipped the pin and then proceeded to secure it, Pippi flashed a smile to Emmy.
"Tada!" She was beaming like a proud mother, "you're officially part of the GSA's."
Emmy's mouth twitched. The sliver of upturn in her mouth was nothing compared to the sudden giddy rush of her heart as Pippi applied the pin to her top. She suddenly wanted to cry. A badge shouldn't—all by itself?
Guh. Gah. Emotions.
This was a lot.
She didn't say very much for the meeting. Most of her answers dwindled into the monosyllabic, but some of the choking fear had eased its grip around her chest. No judgments fired off in her direction and at best, mild encouragement to talk a little more. Nobody pressed her. It was... nice.
It didn't feel completely secure just yet, and as the end approached, queasiness settled back upon her. Not everyone would be like this. Outside wasn't the same as in here. There were still other people to tell that weren't a safe space.
But this moment was okay. Okay enough.
She could have this moment for at least a little while.
Guh. Gah. Emotions.
This was a lot.
She didn't say very much for the meeting. Most of her answers dwindled into the monosyllabic, but some of the choking fear had eased its grip around her chest. No judgments fired off in her direction and at best, mild encouragement to talk a little more. Nobody pressed her. It was... nice.
It didn't feel completely secure just yet, and as the end approached, queasiness settled back upon her. Not everyone would be like this. Outside wasn't the same as in here. There were still other people to tell that weren't a safe space.
But this moment was okay. Okay enough.
She could have this moment for at least a little while.