“We’re all going to fight for our lives sooner than later. I’d… prefer later.”
…
“Much later.”
She looked at Akeno and then she looked at herself and then she looked at Mary, and the collar, and then her bandanna, and then Akeno, and then her own hands.
(Here’s the thing: The more people she’s around, the bigger the chance that somebody who she runs to would kill her.)
(Here’s another thing: You were never meant to be special.)
“Wait, no, I- I, nevermind, I, we-
(Deep breaths deep breaths DEEP BREATHS-)
“We should leave. Um. Just- I’m sorry, but I don’t… I don’t want any of this to turn into a fight. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
She doesn’t trust herself to not be violent when she faces another killer. Akeno’s almost a stranger to her. The school’s almost a stranger to her. She would never know her killer’s name. She needed to get out. She needed to breathe fresh air. She needed to feel the sun on her skin. She needed her brain’s dopamine receptors to work.
She couldn’t stop thinking about Rebecca again. She couldn’t stop thinking. She would never stop thinking until somebody stops her. She hadn’t panicked like this in two weeks, or maybe two months, or maybe a few hours. She wasn’t sure. Her perception of time had always been distorted.
“Mary,” Leah muttered, tugging at the taller girl’s arm.
“We should just find another leviathan.”
I Was Young Not Too Long Ago
Open; after the fifth announcement
They were, against her best wishes, deciding to stay. Akeno tried to keep the disappointment off of her face and maintain a neutral expression when it became clear that they weren’t going to leave; she’d been the one to offer this solution, thinking that they would be just eager to avoid this as she was, and couldn’t easily back out of it now that they had proven her wrong. Not without looking weak anyway, vulnerable; she wanted to avoid looking vulnerable.
It was important that she keep up an image of confidence, if not of actual strength, in front of other people if she wanted to avoid fights. Not too much of a threat and not too much of a target; walking that fine line between the two. Too much of a problem to want to deal with and not enough of a problem to need to deal with. Mary had decided to stay for a reason; not for a conversation, since she didn’t sound too enthusiastic about that, but if that reason was to try and attack her with her guard down then Akeno needed to make that seem like a bad idea.
She had parted with the oar at least. Somewhat reluctantly maybe and she hadn’t strayed far from it, but the weapon now lay against the wall rather than resting in the girl’s hands. Disarming herself, essentially, as well as making it harder for her to react quickly by leaning against the wall and folding her arms as she did. She even provided the first topic of conversation, saving Akeno from doing so but now forcing her to keep up her end of things.
Threats. This wasn’t going to be a friendly conversation then, more of a ‘business’ one. That was fine though, Akeno could talk business; she just wasn’t sure if she should. Giving these two information to help them might come back to bite her later, empowering them to become more of a problem in the future. On the other hand, there were already big threats out there and not warning these two would only make those other threats bigger themselves. A problem for her either way, but it was better not to let the conversation stall immediately and she probably didn’t know anything that they didn’t already know from the announcements anyway.
“Stay away from Seo-Yun, obviously. And Fisk; he’s crazy, angry and has a whole gang of followers with him.” Followers that were dropping like flies according to the announcements, but followers nonetheless. Hearing about Vasily dying had come as a bit of a surprise, so soon after seeing him alive at the ferry, and the news had left her feeling somewhat conflicted. He wasn’t a close friend or even really a friend, having only known him through her association with both Lucia and Lucille; had she heard about his death a couple days ago she would have felt sad, for how the others would have felt more than for herself, but his association with Fisk and his band of murderous assholes had changed that.
She didn’t feel anything about it now. “Ivan as well; you should stay out of Ivan’s way.”
Before she could elaborate on why, Leah spoke up. She wanted to leave and Akeno was more than happy to let her do that. She wanted to take Mary with her to go find another member of their team and Akeno tried not to look too eager to see them go. “No, that’s fine; maybe we should all just leave. No fighting is fine with me. You haven’t seen anyone wearing a white bandana, have you?”
It was important that she keep up an image of confidence, if not of actual strength, in front of other people if she wanted to avoid fights. Not too much of a threat and not too much of a target; walking that fine line between the two. Too much of a problem to want to deal with and not enough of a problem to need to deal with. Mary had decided to stay for a reason; not for a conversation, since she didn’t sound too enthusiastic about that, but if that reason was to try and attack her with her guard down then Akeno needed to make that seem like a bad idea.
She had parted with the oar at least. Somewhat reluctantly maybe and she hadn’t strayed far from it, but the weapon now lay against the wall rather than resting in the girl’s hands. Disarming herself, essentially, as well as making it harder for her to react quickly by leaning against the wall and folding her arms as she did. She even provided the first topic of conversation, saving Akeno from doing so but now forcing her to keep up her end of things.
Threats. This wasn’t going to be a friendly conversation then, more of a ‘business’ one. That was fine though, Akeno could talk business; she just wasn’t sure if she should. Giving these two information to help them might come back to bite her later, empowering them to become more of a problem in the future. On the other hand, there were already big threats out there and not warning these two would only make those other threats bigger themselves. A problem for her either way, but it was better not to let the conversation stall immediately and she probably didn’t know anything that they didn’t already know from the announcements anyway.
“Stay away from Seo-Yun, obviously. And Fisk; he’s crazy, angry and has a whole gang of followers with him.” Followers that were dropping like flies according to the announcements, but followers nonetheless. Hearing about Vasily dying had come as a bit of a surprise, so soon after seeing him alive at the ferry, and the news had left her feeling somewhat conflicted. He wasn’t a close friend or even really a friend, having only known him through her association with both Lucia and Lucille; had she heard about his death a couple days ago she would have felt sad, for how the others would have felt more than for herself, but his association with Fisk and his band of murderous assholes had changed that.
She didn’t feel anything about it now. “Ivan as well; you should stay out of Ivan’s way.”
Before she could elaborate on why, Leah spoke up. She wanted to leave and Akeno was more than happy to let her do that. She wanted to take Mary with her to go find another member of their team and Akeno tried not to look too eager to see them go. “No, that’s fine; maybe we should all just leave. No fighting is fine with me. You haven’t seen anyone wearing a white bandana, have you?”
"... I see."
Leah was tugging on her, like a scared child in an amusement park. Mary looked to her, and nodded. Slowly, she picked up the oar, and looked back at Akeno.
"Thank you."
She meant it. She knew about Seo-yun, of course, but she didn't know about Fisk's or Ivan's whole deal. Apparently, Blofield decided to start a little cult or something. Mary took a breath. Looked at Akeno's bandanna.
"I hung out with Genevieve and Leo right at the start. They were on your team but... uh."
She gripped the oar tighter. Bit her lip.
"It didn't work out."
Mary still wanted to go back to see him.
And she started to step away. But with a final glance at her bandanna.
"Take care, Akeno."
((Mary Cheung continued in All Cats Are Grey))
Leah was tugging on her, like a scared child in an amusement park. Mary looked to her, and nodded. Slowly, she picked up the oar, and looked back at Akeno.
"Thank you."
She meant it. She knew about Seo-yun, of course, but she didn't know about Fisk's or Ivan's whole deal. Apparently, Blofield decided to start a little cult or something. Mary took a breath. Looked at Akeno's bandanna.
"I hung out with Genevieve and Leo right at the start. They were on your team but... uh."
She gripped the oar tighter. Bit her lip.
"It didn't work out."
Mary still wanted to go back to see him.
And she started to step away. But with a final glance at her bandanna.
"Take care, Akeno."
((Mary Cheung continued in All Cats Are Grey))
'I- I know Olivia. I don't know what she's up to but, um,-"
She kind of realized how different she could've turned out with that weapon in her hands,
"But she's kinda aggressive. Um. She's... With, uh... Lucia? Lucia. Who's not in your team. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you more, but also..."
A sigh pushed out of her throat.
(She trailed off in a conscious decision to avoid the consequences of words)
(That corner of her mind wondered what Mary saw.)
(Did she see anybody die?)
(Akeno, too. Aside from Max. What was she thinking? What was Maxine thinking? Did she cry? Leah choked on a piece of bread, once, and coughed until she cried. Would it be the sad kind of crying or the involuntary response kind of crying? Did she feel regret? Did she fight? Did she beg? Did she scream? Did she accept it?)
"Just, like, take care, alright? You're- I'm, um, rooting for you, and... thank you. For trusting us. And for the warning. I... hope you make it.
(Leah exits this chapter.)
She kind of realized how different she could've turned out with that weapon in her hands,
"But she's kinda aggressive. Um. She's... With, uh... Lucia? Lucia. Who's not in your team. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you more, but also..."
A sigh pushed out of her throat.
(She trailed off in a conscious decision to avoid the consequences of words)
(That corner of her mind wondered what Mary saw.)
(Did she see anybody die?)
(Akeno, too. Aside from Max. What was she thinking? What was Maxine thinking? Did she cry? Leah choked on a piece of bread, once, and coughed until she cried. Would it be the sad kind of crying or the involuntary response kind of crying? Did she feel regret? Did she fight? Did she beg? Did she scream? Did she accept it?)
"Just, like, take care, alright? You're- I'm, um, rooting for you, and... thank you. For trusting us. And for the warning. I... hope you make it.
(Leah exits this chapter.)
“Didn’t work out, alright.” Akeno frowned at the news; her mentor had told her there were seven people left on the White team, including herself, but aside from Ivan she still didn’t know the names of a single one who was still alive. You would think the larger teams would make it easier to find people that shared a bandana with you, but so far she’d only seen the one; two if you included the girl who was with Fisk, but that wasn’t someone Akeno would be able to work with.
She didn’t think she’d be able to work with Ivan either, if it came down to it; he’d struck her as kind of unhinged the one time she’d seen him, but with the way things were going she might not have any other options soon. The only other members of her team she knew about were Leo, Genevieve, Bacchia and the person Verity had killed, Tim or something like that, but knowing the names of dead people didn’t help her.
Well, information was information she supposed; Mary had told her what she could even if it wasn’t all that useful. She couldn’t ask any more than that. “Thanks, Mary. Look after yourself.”
Leah knew a little more and Akeno cocked her head to the side as she tried to put a face to the name Olivia; it was familiar, but she couldn’t remember who she was. If she was with Lucia then recognising her wouldn’t be a problem at least and maybe Akeno would have an easier time remembering who she was once she saw her. It was just too bad Lucia wasn’t on her team as well. That information was thrown out so casually it was obvious Leah didn’t think anything of it, even though it caused a familiar weight to settle in her stomach.
Goddammit, they couldn’t even give her one of her friends, could they?
They left after that, Leah going a step further than Mary and saying she was rooting for her. It was such a strange thing to say that she didn’t know how to respond; wishing luck to some who could only win at your expense, your own death, did Leah know what she was saying or was it just a friendly platitude on her part? She could have been being disingenuous, cut Akeno didn’t think Leah was, which only made it weirder. “Uh… thanks. You too, I guess. Good luck.”
Once they were gone, Akeno waited ten minutes to see if they would come back before doing the same herself. There was no ambush waiting for her on deck, not that she’d really expected any, and there was no one to be seen on the jetties and planks surrounding the ghost ship either. It was just her.
A few minutes later, she was gone as well.
ES10: AKENO KUDO CONTINUED IN A Little Piece of Heaven
She didn’t think she’d be able to work with Ivan either, if it came down to it; he’d struck her as kind of unhinged the one time she’d seen him, but with the way things were going she might not have any other options soon. The only other members of her team she knew about were Leo, Genevieve, Bacchia and the person Verity had killed, Tim or something like that, but knowing the names of dead people didn’t help her.
Well, information was information she supposed; Mary had told her what she could even if it wasn’t all that useful. She couldn’t ask any more than that. “Thanks, Mary. Look after yourself.”
Leah knew a little more and Akeno cocked her head to the side as she tried to put a face to the name Olivia; it was familiar, but she couldn’t remember who she was. If she was with Lucia then recognising her wouldn’t be a problem at least and maybe Akeno would have an easier time remembering who she was once she saw her. It was just too bad Lucia wasn’t on her team as well. That information was thrown out so casually it was obvious Leah didn’t think anything of it, even though it caused a familiar weight to settle in her stomach.
Goddammit, they couldn’t even give her one of her friends, could they?
They left after that, Leah going a step further than Mary and saying she was rooting for her. It was such a strange thing to say that she didn’t know how to respond; wishing luck to some who could only win at your expense, your own death, did Leah know what she was saying or was it just a friendly platitude on her part? She could have been being disingenuous, cut Akeno didn’t think Leah was, which only made it weirder. “Uh… thanks. You too, I guess. Good luck.”
Once they were gone, Akeno waited ten minutes to see if they would come back before doing the same herself. There was no ambush waiting for her on deck, not that she’d really expected any, and there was no one to be seen on the jetties and planks surrounding the ghost ship either. It was just her.
A few minutes later, she was gone as well.
ES10: AKENO KUDO CONTINUED IN A Little Piece of Heaven