Beau felt like he was free as soon as Anthony said that he was going to help him and Beau wondered if it was a bit messed up to have a friend go through this for him. It was too late to back out of it now since Anthony was willing to do it now and Beau couldn't just change his mind like that. Gosh, he felt like there was no weight on his shoulders and he realized that he was feeling exhausted. He also didn't feel any pain at the moment.
Well...
He felt pain in his chest. His heart felt like it was bleeding and calling out to him and to Anthony.
Had he always felt like this? Al had told him that he didn't have to do everything for the fans or for any haters that trashed him for his music, his harmless (mostly harmless) pranks or for how his cheery self got on people's nerves. Heck.... Just thinking about it now made him feel like a complete fool.
Beau sniffled a bit and he wiped away at the wet tear with the back of his hand, glancing around unsurely.
God, he didn't want to get smashed over the head with a wooden board and he rather not get stabbed a million times with a glass shiv. He had enough of that with Gregory honestly.
"Uhhh, maybe you could drown me?" He suggested simply.
He wanted to be inside somewhere warm. But it was ultimately Anthony's choice.
He couldn't stop looking towards the inside of the yacht, shivering where he was standing in front of the other boy.
He wasn't cold. He was completely terrified of what was to come.
It Means Everything
Private, Day 3, 2 AM
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Primrosette
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Applesintime
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"Drowning? No, no no no no no. Drowning's, uh, drowning's a pretty shitty way to go. Your lungs start to burn because of all the salt water and you panic and your brain starts to go all topsy-turvy and... I've heard that like, it's not- like, at the... end, you become calm, but no. I-I-I mean, if you want me to drown you, then that's what we'll do, but, uh... lemme think, lemme think. C'mon in." Noting Beau was shivering and looking at the bulkhead, it occurred to him that he probably wanted to go inside. So, with a nod of his head, he led him into the yacht, his brain whirring.
Strangulation? No, at the end of the day, you'd just go through the same thing with drowning. He could knock him out and then beat his head in, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to do that. Killing someone who was killing was another thing, but beating a defenceless, innocent person's head in just felt... wrong, somehow. Well, of course it was wrong. Besides, he wanted Beau's family to have an open casket, and you can't do it like that. Hmm. Goddamn it, think, Anthony, think.
"You don't have anything that would... help, no? Because, Beau, I don't want your last moments on Earth to be something... painful, dramatic, desperate. I'd rather it be something peaceful. It's the least I can do. I think about how everyone must have suffered, because their killers didn't care. They didn't give two shits, but well, it's your show, Beau. I'm trying to think here, but... I don't have much to work with." Now they were in the sitting room, with the inexplicable bathtub in the middle of the room. He had slept here a day ago. And Beau would probably end up here, until this was all over and his parents could get his body. Sitting down on the sofa, he patted besides him. Think, goddamn it.
Fuck. He felt bad. You know a lot of medical shit, Anthony, and yet when it comes down to it, you can't even think of a relatively painless way for your friend to die? He prayed for a sign. Something, anything, that would show him the righteous path.
Strangulation? No, at the end of the day, you'd just go through the same thing with drowning. He could knock him out and then beat his head in, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to do that. Killing someone who was killing was another thing, but beating a defenceless, innocent person's head in just felt... wrong, somehow. Well, of course it was wrong. Besides, he wanted Beau's family to have an open casket, and you can't do it like that. Hmm. Goddamn it, think, Anthony, think.
"You don't have anything that would... help, no? Because, Beau, I don't want your last moments on Earth to be something... painful, dramatic, desperate. I'd rather it be something peaceful. It's the least I can do. I think about how everyone must have suffered, because their killers didn't care. They didn't give two shits, but well, it's your show, Beau. I'm trying to think here, but... I don't have much to work with." Now they were in the sitting room, with the inexplicable bathtub in the middle of the room. He had slept here a day ago. And Beau would probably end up here, until this was all over and his parents could get his body. Sitting down on the sofa, he patted besides him. Think, goddamn it.
Fuck. He felt bad. You know a lot of medical shit, Anthony, and yet when it comes down to it, you can't even think of a relatively painless way for your friend to die? He prayed for a sign. Something, anything, that would show him the righteous path.
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Primrosette
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Oh, drowning sounded so much worse than getting stabbed in the chest or bonked on the head! Beau was glad that Anthony was refusing to do that as they walked inside together and he noticed the bathtub in the middle of the room. Who the heck had moved that there? Wait, that didn't matter! Anthony was talking to him and he was trying to focus on what he was saying. Man, his death was actually a lot more harder to plan out than he thought it would be.
"Peaceful..." He murmured softly.
It seemed like Anthony was giving him an invitation to sit down beside him and he was willing to take up on that offer. He moved away from the bathtub after a few moments and he sat himself down onto the sofa near Anthony but not too close. He didn't want to make Anthony feel more pressured by him hovering too close. "Hey, if you had the alligator as a pet, what would you have called it?"
It was a dumb question. He knew that. But he wanted to distract Anthony a little. So that he wasn't worrying too much about what he had to do to him.
Beau carefully took his bag off his shoulders and he hissed softly, taking a moment to breathe. He then placed the bag on his lap and he opened it up slowly. Then he hesitated as he realized something that he had always wished to do before he died. He didn't even care if he was going to say it aloud.
"Holy shitballs! I never had my first kiss, man!"
He got out the pen that he had used for the note and he let out a bright, cheery laugh. He shouldn't be laughing, but it was funny and kinda of messed up for him to think about.
"S-Sorry, Anthony. I dunno why that's funny to me. Gosh, I sound like such a loser. Hmm, I don't think we can use this pen? Getting stabbed in the eye with it wouldn't outright kill me."
"Peaceful..." He murmured softly.
It seemed like Anthony was giving him an invitation to sit down beside him and he was willing to take up on that offer. He moved away from the bathtub after a few moments and he sat himself down onto the sofa near Anthony but not too close. He didn't want to make Anthony feel more pressured by him hovering too close. "Hey, if you had the alligator as a pet, what would you have called it?"
It was a dumb question. He knew that. But he wanted to distract Anthony a little. So that he wasn't worrying too much about what he had to do to him.
Beau carefully took his bag off his shoulders and he hissed softly, taking a moment to breathe. He then placed the bag on his lap and he opened it up slowly. Then he hesitated as he realized something that he had always wished to do before he died. He didn't even care if he was going to say it aloud.
"Holy shitballs! I never had my first kiss, man!"
He got out the pen that he had used for the note and he let out a bright, cheery laugh. He shouldn't be laughing, but it was funny and kinda of messed up for him to think about.
"S-Sorry, Anthony. I dunno why that's funny to me. Gosh, I sound like such a loser. Hmm, I don't think we can use this pen? Getting stabbed in the eye with it wouldn't outright kill me."
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Applesintime
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"Peaceful. Well, as peaceful as death can get. It's not gonna be passing away in your bed at eighty, but it'll be the best we can get here. Stupid fucking show." And the worst part was Beau wouldn't even get privacy, even in death, because a million people would be watching, and in the morning, a hundred million more would watch, and they'd all make their stupid fucking memes of it and joke about it. And his actual moment of death, a moment that should be private, shared only with family and friends, would be forever on the Internet.
"Uh, I dunno. Bob or Ally or some shit. Not good with naming pets. We've never really had any, you know? Back in London, the block of flats we lived in didn't allow pets, and while some people had cats or something that they could just let out a window if the landlord came to check up on the flat, Dad was a little worried that we'd get caught, y'know? And now here in Miami, Mum and Dad are too busy working to really worry about getting one. I reckon when this is all over, I'll goddamn get a pet, a cat or something. How about you, Beau? What would you have called it?"
It was a welcome distraction, but he needed to think. Resting his hand against his neck, Anthony sort of slumped down on the couch. The way his hand was pressed against his neck, he could faintly feel his pulse. Thump thump. Beau's pulse would cease soon. Nearly twenty people's pulses had ceased a long time ago. Gone to Heaven or Hell, no matter what they were, who they were. Reduced to a cadaver.
The neck. Pulse. Carotids. Maybe that was a sign. Maybe that was what he had to do. Yeah, now he thought about it, maybe cutting a carotid was best. Some kind of artery. It might not be quick, and it certainly wouldn't be pretty, but it would be a hell of a lot quicker than anything else. Carotid was something like... you cut one, half your brain stops getting blood, and then you pass out really quick and then die, all in the space of like, 30 seconds. At least, that was his understanding.
At Beau's outburst, he let out a snort. "Man, that sucks, buddy. It's a good experience. Feels like it's been ages since my last one..." When was it? The airport, with Clarissa? It was years ago. And now he'd maybe never get the chance to experience one, but this wasn't about him, it was about Beau. It was his funeral.
That was a bad choice of words.
"Can't do shit with the pen, no. Only thing sticking it in your eye would do is hurt like a bitch. If we had a kitchen knife or something I could probably push it into your brain from there, but we don't. And you're not a loser, Beau. But, uh... I have another idea. If I can cut one of your carotid arteries, in your neck, it'll probably be quick. Two of 'em, supplies blood to your brain. Cut one, half your brain stops getting blood and you pass out. And because it's an artery, you're losing a lot of blood, so you... you die pretty quickly. Again, it's your call, but I think it's the best way. Fuck." It was the best thing he could think of.
"Uh, I dunno. Bob or Ally or some shit. Not good with naming pets. We've never really had any, you know? Back in London, the block of flats we lived in didn't allow pets, and while some people had cats or something that they could just let out a window if the landlord came to check up on the flat, Dad was a little worried that we'd get caught, y'know? And now here in Miami, Mum and Dad are too busy working to really worry about getting one. I reckon when this is all over, I'll goddamn get a pet, a cat or something. How about you, Beau? What would you have called it?"
It was a welcome distraction, but he needed to think. Resting his hand against his neck, Anthony sort of slumped down on the couch. The way his hand was pressed against his neck, he could faintly feel his pulse. Thump thump. Beau's pulse would cease soon. Nearly twenty people's pulses had ceased a long time ago. Gone to Heaven or Hell, no matter what they were, who they were. Reduced to a cadaver.
The neck. Pulse. Carotids. Maybe that was a sign. Maybe that was what he had to do. Yeah, now he thought about it, maybe cutting a carotid was best. Some kind of artery. It might not be quick, and it certainly wouldn't be pretty, but it would be a hell of a lot quicker than anything else. Carotid was something like... you cut one, half your brain stops getting blood, and then you pass out really quick and then die, all in the space of like, 30 seconds. At least, that was his understanding.
At Beau's outburst, he let out a snort. "Man, that sucks, buddy. It's a good experience. Feels like it's been ages since my last one..." When was it? The airport, with Clarissa? It was years ago. And now he'd maybe never get the chance to experience one, but this wasn't about him, it was about Beau. It was his funeral.
That was a bad choice of words.
"Can't do shit with the pen, no. Only thing sticking it in your eye would do is hurt like a bitch. If we had a kitchen knife or something I could probably push it into your brain from there, but we don't. And you're not a loser, Beau. But, uh... I have another idea. If I can cut one of your carotid arteries, in your neck, it'll probably be quick. Two of 'em, supplies blood to your brain. Cut one, half your brain stops getting blood and you pass out. And because it's an artery, you're losing a lot of blood, so you... you die pretty quickly. Again, it's your call, but I think it's the best way. Fuck." It was the best thing he could think of.
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Primrosette
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Beau found himself letting out a small giggle once again at Anthony's terrible names for an alligator. Not like he could do any better himself at it. "Ally the alligator sounds pretty good tho! Ah, that really sucks that you couldn't have any pets tho. A total bummer. Cats are just so adorable and cute. Tho, I would have had a dog once I was living alone honestly. More of a dog lover than a cat lover, you know. What would I have named the alligator? Hmm.... Something very silly. Like, uh, Chewy or Scaly or Chompy or something like that. I like coming up with the funniest things ever, ya know?"
When Anthony mentioned that he had had a kiss before, Beau felt himself pout a little at the thought of it. Not that he was nervous that Anthony kissed someone else. He never thought about kissing Anthony before as he had always thought that one day he might have had a chance to kiss Cassini.... After he had grew the balls to ask her out. He had been planning to do it before they had all been taken by the people for this forsaken show. Heck! He actually planned to do it the day they were taken! What rotten luck honestly!
"Ughhh, you lucky bastard." Beau was grinning at Anthony and then his smile faded slightly into a sadder one. Man, he really didn't want to feel too sad before he would die. "I was actually gonna ask Cassini out on a date on the day we were taken. Man, it's such a cliche to have a crush on your best friend for years and never making a move because you were scared of losing the friendship more than being in a relationship, right? I never got the chance to even say goodbye or anything like that before she.... died."
Beau sighed softly as he put the pen down on the seat and he ran a hand through his blue strands of hair, feeling a bit on edge and tapping his foot nervously on the ground.
"Right, right. Thanks for not thinking of me as a loser, Anthony. I'm just really nervous about this." He said honestly, his hands were almost hugging his bag for comfort and he never thought that death would be this scary to think about. It was definitely a lot harder to go through. "I always thought that death would be an easy thing to go through, but it's not. Not really."
He was suddenly silent after that.
He then let out a choked-up sob.
"Anthony... I... I'm sorry."
When Anthony mentioned that he had had a kiss before, Beau felt himself pout a little at the thought of it. Not that he was nervous that Anthony kissed someone else. He never thought about kissing Anthony before as he had always thought that one day he might have had a chance to kiss Cassini.... After he had grew the balls to ask her out. He had been planning to do it before they had all been taken by the people for this forsaken show. Heck! He actually planned to do it the day they were taken! What rotten luck honestly!
"Ughhh, you lucky bastard." Beau was grinning at Anthony and then his smile faded slightly into a sadder one. Man, he really didn't want to feel too sad before he would die. "I was actually gonna ask Cassini out on a date on the day we were taken. Man, it's such a cliche to have a crush on your best friend for years and never making a move because you were scared of losing the friendship more than being in a relationship, right? I never got the chance to even say goodbye or anything like that before she.... died."
Beau sighed softly as he put the pen down on the seat and he ran a hand through his blue strands of hair, feeling a bit on edge and tapping his foot nervously on the ground.
"Right, right. Thanks for not thinking of me as a loser, Anthony. I'm just really nervous about this." He said honestly, his hands were almost hugging his bag for comfort and he never thought that death would be this scary to think about. It was definitely a lot harder to go through. "I always thought that death would be an easy thing to go through, but it's not. Not really."
He was suddenly silent after that.
He then let out a choked-up sob.
"Anthony... I... I'm sorry."
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Applesintime
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Beau seemed to like his pet names. Or he thought they were fucking stupid. Either way, it seemed to make him feel a little better, and that's what really mattered. In this moment, that he wished could stretch on forever, he could give him some comfort. "Chompy, huh? Probably what that alligator would have done to you, heh. Wonder what happened to it? I dunno if they would like, take it out to the bayou or wherever in Florida alligators live or what. Heh, maybe I'll ask Ben if he can ask Miami-Dade's fuzz on what happened to it, although maybe I should be saving my calls for something more important." This was accompanied by a short, wheezy chuckle.
Then Beau, seemingly a little upset at the idea of missing out on his first kiss, started to ramble. About how he was gonna ask Cassini out on the very same day that they had all been abducted. What fucking luck. You go to school, all excited at the thought of asking that girl you've had a crush on out on a date, and you get abducted, your crush gets murdered, and a day later, you're spilling your heart out to a friend who's going to kill you, your last wish. It was so fucking rotten, so horrible. There was a sudden wetness in his eyes, and he blinked it away, hoping Beau didn't see. He wished that he and Cassini could have had a chance at least, a chance to try.
"Yeah. We met at a St. John's meeting - she was actually the girl who introduced me to my whole friend group, the activist group. I was talking about how unfair the whole SOTF thing was, she chimed in with her own thoughts, and we hit it off big time. Never thought that I'd actually be in it. Never thought I'd survive to the third day, to be honest." But it was in times of adversity that you find your inner self, you learn how far you're willing to go. He was a pacifist at the start of this, and now he was hunting players, fully prepared to kill them.
"I-I'll get revenge. I'll avenge her, Beau. I don't know how, but I'll kill him. Eric. Even if he has a gun, he's killed two people now. And if I have to go out, Beau, I'd rather go out knowing I tried to do something good, tried to kill someone who would only murder. His grip on the shiv in his pocket tightened.
"Were you ever... religious, Beau?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "I don't... think it matters if you're practicing or not - sure, the Bible might say that people who don't follow Christianity go to hell, but Zachary always taught that none of that shit mattered, it was if you had a good heart, if you had done good deeds, or the other way around. I'm confident, Beau, that both of you will go to Heaven. You and Cassini. And you'll see her again, and you'll be able to tell her how you feel, and you'll see how she feels. And-and you'll see everyone who's died again, except maybe Carol because she murdered someone. I... I dunno if that'll comfort you, or... I dunno. But you're a nice guy Beau, you haven't done anything wrong, you didn't deser- nobody deserved this!" Ending with a shout, Anthony took a deep breath. Had he always been this angry? So willing to rant at the slightest provocation?
"And don't apologise. It's not your fault."
Then Beau, seemingly a little upset at the idea of missing out on his first kiss, started to ramble. About how he was gonna ask Cassini out on the very same day that they had all been abducted. What fucking luck. You go to school, all excited at the thought of asking that girl you've had a crush on out on a date, and you get abducted, your crush gets murdered, and a day later, you're spilling your heart out to a friend who's going to kill you, your last wish. It was so fucking rotten, so horrible. There was a sudden wetness in his eyes, and he blinked it away, hoping Beau didn't see. He wished that he and Cassini could have had a chance at least, a chance to try.
"Yeah. We met at a St. John's meeting - she was actually the girl who introduced me to my whole friend group, the activist group. I was talking about how unfair the whole SOTF thing was, she chimed in with her own thoughts, and we hit it off big time. Never thought that I'd actually be in it. Never thought I'd survive to the third day, to be honest." But it was in times of adversity that you find your inner self, you learn how far you're willing to go. He was a pacifist at the start of this, and now he was hunting players, fully prepared to kill them.
"I-I'll get revenge. I'll avenge her, Beau. I don't know how, but I'll kill him. Eric. Even if he has a gun, he's killed two people now. And if I have to go out, Beau, I'd rather go out knowing I tried to do something good, tried to kill someone who would only murder. His grip on the shiv in his pocket tightened.
"Were you ever... religious, Beau?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "I don't... think it matters if you're practicing or not - sure, the Bible might say that people who don't follow Christianity go to hell, but Zachary always taught that none of that shit mattered, it was if you had a good heart, if you had done good deeds, or the other way around. I'm confident, Beau, that both of you will go to Heaven. You and Cassini. And you'll see her again, and you'll be able to tell her how you feel, and you'll see how she feels. And-and you'll see everyone who's died again, except maybe Carol because she murdered someone. I... I dunno if that'll comfort you, or... I dunno. But you're a nice guy Beau, you haven't done anything wrong, you didn't deser- nobody deserved this!" Ending with a shout, Anthony took a deep breath. Had he always been this angry? So willing to rant at the slightest provocation?
"And don't apologise. It's not your fault."
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Primrosette
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Beau felt himself listening quietly while Anthony was talking about Cassini and how she helped him out before. Cassini had always been such a vocal person and he was glad that she had done something for Anthony. Beau had never found himself in the groups of anti-fans or fans of SOTF-TV and he had always been indifferent to it all. He never really had an opinion that was strong about it and he wondered if he should have before. Maybe in another life he could do something better about it.
Anthony saying that he would go after Eric to avenge Cassini for him. It made Beau want to cry more and so he did. But it was more of well, not happy tears. But maybe relieved tears. He knew that it was strange to think that a friend would kill someone to help avenge the girl that he loved. But well, that's how this was, wasn't it? He wanted to hug Anthony as a comfort to himself and maybe to the other boy.
It felt so strange to be this quiet while sobbing quietly. But he was smiling warily.
He was still silent for a minute after Anthony stopping speaking. It wasn't an awkward silence. It felt like a comforting silence.
It was a strange feeling.
"I always believed that there was something there after death even if I'm not religious, ya know." Beau said in a wobbly voice as he was trying to wiping away his tears on his shirt's sleeve and he was breathing shakily. "So if there's a chance to see the people that I care about again.... I want to make sure that they're all okay. I don't know if I'm a good person really. But.... You're a good guy too, Anthony. You always tried your best and you're very passionate about what you are doing. Even if your temper can be scary sometimes. Haha."
He picked up his hat and he let out a small sigh.
Anthony saying that he would go after Eric to avenge Cassini for him. It made Beau want to cry more and so he did. But it was more of well, not happy tears. But maybe relieved tears. He knew that it was strange to think that a friend would kill someone to help avenge the girl that he loved. But well, that's how this was, wasn't it? He wanted to hug Anthony as a comfort to himself and maybe to the other boy.
It felt so strange to be this quiet while sobbing quietly. But he was smiling warily.
He was still silent for a minute after Anthony stopping speaking. It wasn't an awkward silence. It felt like a comforting silence.
It was a strange feeling.
"I always believed that there was something there after death even if I'm not religious, ya know." Beau said in a wobbly voice as he was trying to wiping away his tears on his shirt's sleeve and he was breathing shakily. "So if there's a chance to see the people that I care about again.... I want to make sure that they're all okay. I don't know if I'm a good person really. But.... You're a good guy too, Anthony. You always tried your best and you're very passionate about what you are doing. Even if your temper can be scary sometimes. Haha."
He picked up his hat and he let out a small sigh.
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Applesintime
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Beau started crying, and Anthony put his hand on his shoulder. He didn't really know what else to do, because how do you comfort someone who will be dying soon, and knows it? Of course, Beau could change his mind, but it didn't seem likely. He had his mind set on it, and he didn't think it could be changed. Even if Anthony wanted him to say that this was stupid, get up, and say that he wasn't dying today, it wasn't gonna happen. And if it was his wish that Anthony be the man with the knife, then so be it.
"Hey, Beau. You are a good person. You're not going around trying to kill people, you're not being some asshole who goes around trying to fight and kill people, you're you, Beau. I'm confident that this isn't the end for you. Maybe on Earth. But I don't think any God would look at you and say you're not good enough. Because you are good. You try to make people laugh, you wanna make them happy. If God won't let you in, then he can count me out." He blinked back more wetness in his eyes. He wished the camera observing them would just fuck off. The cameras, the people, they can all fuck off. This isn't your moment to get excited about. This isn't just some dramatic scene to write shitty fanfiction about. This was life. This was death. This was real.
"I'm... assuming you're OK with the carotid idea? It wouldn't be long. I swear to God. Do you maybe want me to... give you some time? Talk to your mum and dad, maybe Al? Hope the guy doesn't hate me after this."
"Hey, Beau. You are a good person. You're not going around trying to kill people, you're not being some asshole who goes around trying to fight and kill people, you're you, Beau. I'm confident that this isn't the end for you. Maybe on Earth. But I don't think any God would look at you and say you're not good enough. Because you are good. You try to make people laugh, you wanna make them happy. If God won't let you in, then he can count me out." He blinked back more wetness in his eyes. He wished the camera observing them would just fuck off. The cameras, the people, they can all fuck off. This isn't your moment to get excited about. This isn't just some dramatic scene to write shitty fanfiction about. This was life. This was death. This was real.
"I'm... assuming you're OK with the carotid idea? It wouldn't be long. I swear to God. Do you maybe want me to... give you some time? Talk to your mum and dad, maybe Al? Hope the guy doesn't hate me after this."
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Primrosette
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"Anthony, gosh. Thank you for just being here for me. I hope you won't lose yourself to well.... this." Beau pointed to everything around him and he placed his hand on top of Anthony's hand on his shoulder. He didn't squeeze it as he didn't want to do that without Anthony's permission and he wanted to do something for Anthony in return. "I'm afraid of what will happen after I'm gone. But I want you to go to Hannah and make sure that she'll be okay."
He was eyeing the bathtub again and it was very haunting to look at. He wasn't ready yet. He needed a bit more time.
"Please? It's the last thing that I want from you." He said genuinely.
"I asked Jewel to sent a gift to my parents. They don't watch this. Not really. Neither did I. Al's a big fan. He's more likely yelling at me to not get myself killed off like this. But I want to go out like I want to. I don't think he'll ever hate you, Anthony. He's just always been a grumpy ass. Heh."
He grinned as he shook his head a little and he smiled warmly at Anthony who looked like he was close to tears.
"Hey.... Do you need a hug, Anthony? I mean, it might help or it might not. I dunno, I dunno!" He was getting a bit rambly again.
He was eyeing the bathtub again and it was very haunting to look at. He wasn't ready yet. He needed a bit more time.
"Please? It's the last thing that I want from you." He said genuinely.
"I asked Jewel to sent a gift to my parents. They don't watch this. Not really. Neither did I. Al's a big fan. He's more likely yelling at me to not get myself killed off like this. But I want to go out like I want to. I don't think he'll ever hate you, Anthony. He's just always been a grumpy ass. Heh."
He grinned as he shook his head a little and he smiled warmly at Anthony who looked like he was close to tears.
"Hey.... Do you need a hug, Anthony? I mean, it might help or it might not. I dunno, I dunno!" He was getting a bit rambly again.
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Applesintime
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- Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs
"So many people have already lost themselves. Not even just here - look at the winners, Beau. They always have to play up to the Character they created, and they have nothing else. I won't go into it, but if I can stop them, it's a mercy unto themselves. They can die as who they are, not what they want to make themselves." At Beau's touch, he smiled slightly. "Don't worry, I'll make sure she's OK. I dunno how she'll take it, but I'll... I'll explain somehow. She'll understand. If that's your last wish, then I swear I'll do it."
Beau was also looking at the bathtub. Why was it there? Who put the bathtub in the fucking living room? This was going to fucking haunt him.
"The last thing I remember of Al was him getting mad at me for some reason during the alligator thing. But, I guess that maybe he'll understand. If it's your last wish. Hey, you better not beat me up when this is all over, Al." He hated the cameras. Go away. This isn't for you. Go watch a rerun of a shitty- actually, it was like, 3 AM. Go to fucking bed.
At Beau's offer, he simply nodded. There was something about Beau telling his mentor to send his mum and dad a gift that was just soulcrushing. Even when it was nearing his end, even when he was going to die, he still thought about other people. He was worried about Hannah, he was worried about his parents, he was even worried about his killer-to-be. He deserved so much better than this. He deserved it, he goddamn deserved happiness.
It was weird to think that after this, there would only be two people from the alligator incident left. Seth was dead, killed by Fisk and Vasily, and now Beau would be dead at his hand. It wasn't murder, though. It was mercy, because if he said no, Beau might end up getting killed by someone else. Someone who didn't care about him, only cared about the number of kills they had. And in a flotilla of undeserved murders, the chance to give someone a peaceful end was something to be grasped with both hands.
Beau was also looking at the bathtub. Why was it there? Who put the bathtub in the fucking living room? This was going to fucking haunt him.
"The last thing I remember of Al was him getting mad at me for some reason during the alligator thing. But, I guess that maybe he'll understand. If it's your last wish. Hey, you better not beat me up when this is all over, Al." He hated the cameras. Go away. This isn't for you. Go watch a rerun of a shitty- actually, it was like, 3 AM. Go to fucking bed.
At Beau's offer, he simply nodded. There was something about Beau telling his mentor to send his mum and dad a gift that was just soulcrushing. Even when it was nearing his end, even when he was going to die, he still thought about other people. He was worried about Hannah, he was worried about his parents, he was even worried about his killer-to-be. He deserved so much better than this. He deserved it, he goddamn deserved happiness.
It was weird to think that after this, there would only be two people from the alligator incident left. Seth was dead, killed by Fisk and Vasily, and now Beau would be dead at his hand. It wasn't murder, though. It was mercy, because if he said no, Beau might end up getting killed by someone else. Someone who didn't care about him, only cared about the number of kills they had. And in a flotilla of undeserved murders, the chance to give someone a peaceful end was something to be grasped with both hands.
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Primrosette
- Posts: 903
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:59 pm
- Location: In Her Dark Abyss
Al being an ass to people who had the same temper as him was a normal thing to Beau. But he wasn't going to tell Anthony that. Honestly, he wanted Anthony to go back home and to stay as himself. Even if he was going to go down a righteous path of vengeance. People playing as characters was something that he could never understand. He thought that people should just stay as themselves and get some therapy to deal with the traumatic aftermath of killing people. But then.... What if that was really what people were like? The girl who wanted to be a bright star? The boy who wanted to be something more than an outcast? The fan who wanted to kill for fun? The anti-fan who tried to protest and make an escape plan?
"Honestly, if people are like that, maybe we never really knew what they were really like. People can have face masks, right? It's just how reality is." Beau said honestly as he placed the hat back down and he felt like he was calming down a bit more. "I.... Thank you. I hope Hannah will understand why I did this. I left her a note, but maybe she needs to hear it from you."
Beau scoffed softly.
"Al can't even fight. He's more bark than bite. Sorry, Al, if you're watching." He chuckled a little and he cleared his throat.
It seems like Anthony didn't mind the hug idea and Beau felt himself brighten up more immediately.
"Sweet! I give the best hugs by the way. Uh, I should be careful with my arm and shoulder tho. Haha."
He then carefully leaned closer to Anthony and he carefully wrapped his hands around him, knowing that this was the last time he was going to get to hold someone in a warm light.
And then he was going to...
Beau was going to have to go into the bathtub. He didn't want to get his blood everywhere on the floor or on the sofa.
Or on Anthony.
"Honestly, if people are like that, maybe we never really knew what they were really like. People can have face masks, right? It's just how reality is." Beau said honestly as he placed the hat back down and he felt like he was calming down a bit more. "I.... Thank you. I hope Hannah will understand why I did this. I left her a note, but maybe she needs to hear it from you."
Beau scoffed softly.
"Al can't even fight. He's more bark than bite. Sorry, Al, if you're watching." He chuckled a little and he cleared his throat.
It seems like Anthony didn't mind the hug idea and Beau felt himself brighten up more immediately.
"Sweet! I give the best hugs by the way. Uh, I should be careful with my arm and shoulder tho. Haha."
He then carefully leaned closer to Anthony and he carefully wrapped his hands around him, knowing that this was the last time he was going to get to hold someone in a warm light.
And then he was going to...
Beau was going to have to go into the bathtub. He didn't want to get his blood everywhere on the floor or on the sofa.
Or on Anthony.
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Applesintime
- Posts: 836
- Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 11:57 am
- Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs
"Yeah. You know, the Japanese have something about that. They say that you've got three faces. One you show to your coworkers and classmates, stuff like that. The second you show to your friends and family, and the third, your true self, you show only to yourself. Maybe it's something like that, y'know? These fucking paigons are just showing their true colours." He wasn't sure if the Japanese actually said something like that - his father's Facebook posts probably weren't the best source - but it made sense. It was easily digestible.
Beau joking about Al's fighting ability made Anthony snort. It was always like that, wasn't it? The dogs with the biggest bark have the smallest bite. Then again, that wasn't true, because German Shepherds barked pretty loud and they also had a really big bite. But again, it wasn't just a metaphor, because those small yappy dogs that barked at anything had a small bite. It didn't matter, but he was trying to distract himself from the fact that Beau was going to be dying. At his hands.
And then Beau hugged him, and Anthony hugged back, swallowing against a lump in his throat. He was going to miss Beau. HIs optimism was always welcome, especially in this place, where any kind of humour, happiness, reh teh teh, was gone, unobtainable. He was warm, but soon he'd be cold. He hoped it was quick. And then, Beau pulled away, and Anthony was left physically alone again. Soon, he would be properly alone, too. Beau would be gone, hopefully to a better place, and the only thing left would be his earthly vessel.
"Why are you climbing into the bathtub?"
Beau joking about Al's fighting ability made Anthony snort. It was always like that, wasn't it? The dogs with the biggest bark have the smallest bite. Then again, that wasn't true, because German Shepherds barked pretty loud and they also had a really big bite. But again, it wasn't just a metaphor, because those small yappy dogs that barked at anything had a small bite. It didn't matter, but he was trying to distract himself from the fact that Beau was going to be dying. At his hands.
And then Beau hugged him, and Anthony hugged back, swallowing against a lump in his throat. He was going to miss Beau. HIs optimism was always welcome, especially in this place, where any kind of humour, happiness, reh teh teh, was gone, unobtainable. He was warm, but soon he'd be cold. He hoped it was quick. And then, Beau pulled away, and Anthony was left physically alone again. Soon, he would be properly alone, too. Beau would be gone, hopefully to a better place, and the only thing left would be his earthly vessel.
"Why are you climbing into the bathtub?"
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Primrosette
- Posts: 903
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:59 pm
- Location: In Her Dark Abyss
Beau was laying down in the tub and then he sat up slowly, closing his eyes for a moment.
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
He then opened his eyes again.
He glanced over at Anthony who was still sitting on the sofa and he was smiling at him, feeling more hopeful for some reason.
"I, uhm, I just didn't want my blood to go everywhere. I mean, I..." He glanced over at where his hat was beside Anthony and then he was looking thoughtful. "You can take my hat with you. As like a lucky charm or something. If you want to, Anthony."
Well, that felt kind of cheesy. Oh, boy!
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
He then opened his eyes again.
He glanced over at Anthony who was still sitting on the sofa and he was smiling at him, feeling more hopeful for some reason.
"I, uhm, I just didn't want my blood to go everywhere. I mean, I..." He glanced over at where his hat was beside Anthony and then he was looking thoughtful. "You can take my hat with you. As like a lucky charm or something. If you want to, Anthony."
Well, that felt kind of cheesy. Oh, boy!
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Applesintime
- Posts: 836
- Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 11:57 am
- Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs
"That's... thoughtful of you, I guess. Whoever put this bathtub here is probably feeling vindicated right now." Seriously, he didn't get it. Wouldn't you use a shower or something, instead of a bathtub? Where would the water even go? The more he thought about it, the more it fucking confused him. When he won, when he got out of here, he had to ask the production team what the fuck was up with that.
"I'll cherish it, Beau. Are you... ready? Just gotta find your pulse - fun fact, the pulse you feel in your neck, that's your carotid. It's not too deep in, so it shouldn't take too long to... get it. And then, you'll pass out quick, maybe a few seconds, and then you'll be dead." Shakily, his left hand fumbled for Beau's neck. Standing behind him, he tried to find his right carotid artery. It didn't take long.
Thump, thump.
Soon it wouldn't be pulsing anymore. That blood, feeding the brain and the head, would be in the bathtub, and Beau would be dead. Gripping the glass shiv in his right hand, so tight that even through the cloth wrapped around it, he could feel it poking, cutting at him, Anthony waited for the call.
"I'll cherish it, Beau. Are you... ready? Just gotta find your pulse - fun fact, the pulse you feel in your neck, that's your carotid. It's not too deep in, so it shouldn't take too long to... get it. And then, you'll pass out quick, maybe a few seconds, and then you'll be dead." Shakily, his left hand fumbled for Beau's neck. Standing behind him, he tried to find his right carotid artery. It didn't take long.
Thump, thump.
Soon it wouldn't be pulsing anymore. That blood, feeding the brain and the head, would be in the bathtub, and Beau would be dead. Gripping the glass shiv in his right hand, so tight that even through the cloth wrapped around it, he could feel it poking, cutting at him, Anthony waited for the call.
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Primrosette
- Posts: 903
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:59 pm
- Location: In Her Dark Abyss
"Hah. They possibly are, huh?" Beau commented as he laid back down into the tub and he felt like he was still pretty nervous about all of this. "Thanks for this bathtub, whoever you are!"
He gave a thumbsup in front of his collar.
Beau gulped nervously as he could feel the glass shiv pressing against his neck and he closed his eyes once again. He was trying to keep himself more calm and he needed to concentrate. Think happy thoughts. He thought of him and Cassini laughing over silly jokes. He thought of Al and him practicing the new song that they were supposed to do. Welp, that was too bad now. He thought of Anthony. He thought of Hannah.
"Anthony..."
He felt an honest, open smile cross over his young, slightly tired face.
"I'm ready now."
He gave a thumbsup in front of his collar.
Beau gulped nervously as he could feel the glass shiv pressing against his neck and he closed his eyes once again. He was trying to keep himself more calm and he needed to concentrate. Think happy thoughts. He thought of him and Cassini laughing over silly jokes. He thought of Al and him practicing the new song that they were supposed to do. Welp, that was too bad now. He thought of Anthony. He thought of Hannah.
"Anthony..."
He felt an honest, open smile cross over his young, slightly tired face.
"I'm ready now."