Abe’s first thought upon seeing Hel was to go ‘oh thank god, Andy isn’t my problem anymore,’ which probably didn’t reflect well on his fukken moral character, but like, what did, haha? They’d have a much better time consoling the dude, considering he’d launched into a fukken glomp tacklehug the instant he saw them.
Not the most graceful entrance in the world, but like, it kinda deflated the tension, which was nice; and with all the rain and mud and shit (hopefully not literal, but like, people had to do their business somewhere, right, like it was already the third day, how many shameful island dumps had already been taken - okay this subject was beneath even him) it wasn’t exactly peak standing conditions.
Hel was cool. They weren’t like his bestie or anything, or even that close a friend really, but like, they were bros with a lot of Abe’s favorite people (and Andy) so their orbits collided with each other often enough in a way that killed millions with every impact, through like, bad pun warfare? The sorta person he wouldn’t have minded getting to know better before, well, everything.
Also, if he had to make a list of the most non-threatening people he knew, Hel would definitely be in like the top five, which was good, because he really didn’t wanna have to dig his gun outta his bag yet, even though he was gonna have to do it soon, because, like, if Hel had tripped over them, anyone could, right?
“Aw, heck, it’s Hel. Hey,” Abe said, lazily waving and spoiling the moment even though he wasn’t sure if Hel could even see him through Andy. Oh well. Probably for the best, because, like, Abe was just standin’ there in his boxers, and while he possessed approximately a quarter of a shame, that was still pretty weird.
We Don't Need Another Song About California
Day 3 pre-announcement; private for a few post cycles
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Emprexx Plush
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Andy was all over them fast, which like, not a sentence they were used to thinking? Like he was one of the first people to accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally and all that jazz which back in the day had caught them so feelings that were sorta kinda maybe like a crush that had never fully resolved? And sure, gun to their head but not literally jesus that was a dark ass metaphor now pin in that we'll loop back another time gun to their head they'd played with the idea of shipping fanfic between them if the Deadbeats ever pulled their shit together to become a real actual factual band but 1) Come on the Andy/Axel shippers were going to out number the Hel/Axel shippers 10:1 and the Hel/Andy shippers 100:1 that was just science 2) it honestly kind of weirded them out to get thirsty in any real physical way towards him even in imagination so that was all usually handled in cut to black or slow chapter fades, real tasteful stuff.
There was nothing tasteful about the two of them clinging to each other in the middle of the rainstorm. Gods they must have looked a fucking mess, they wanted to wrap him in their arms, say some sentimental bullshit about how he was one of the most important people in their entire world and they were so relieved he'd made it followed by some probably unintentionally less comforting stuff about how they were glad they got to see him one last time that they would try to smoothly transition out of by apologizing for wearing a stark white tank-top and no bra in the middle of a rainstorm which was definitely gonna make him get all weird as soon as he stopped sobbing. You can probably already guess that none of that came out though, they got about as far as "Jesus it's you, I-" before he grabbed them the wrong way and the blinding pain in their side commandeered their voice for a hot take:
"FUCK!!!!!!!!"
Was it bleeding? Motherfucker they were too wet to tell if it was bleeding. "Sorry, sorry," they gritted out, "just, fuck, a little bit careful there, shit, is it open again?"
There was nothing tasteful about the two of them clinging to each other in the middle of the rainstorm. Gods they must have looked a fucking mess, they wanted to wrap him in their arms, say some sentimental bullshit about how he was one of the most important people in their entire world and they were so relieved he'd made it followed by some probably unintentionally less comforting stuff about how they were glad they got to see him one last time that they would try to smoothly transition out of by apologizing for wearing a stark white tank-top and no bra in the middle of a rainstorm which was definitely gonna make him get all weird as soon as he stopped sobbing. You can probably already guess that none of that came out though, they got about as far as "Jesus it's you, I-" before he grabbed them the wrong way and the blinding pain in their side commandeered their voice for a hot take:
"FUCK!!!!!!!!"
Was it bleeding? Motherfucker they were too wet to tell if it was bleeding. "Sorry, sorry," they gritted out, "just, fuck, a little bit careful there, shit, is it open again?"
"Shit, shit, I dunno, uh-" Andy yanked his hands back as soon as Hel screeched in his ear, leaving his hearing ringing on the left side. It took a lot of effort to even do that, with how badly he just wanted to hug them and never let go, and he didn't even care how stupid and mushy that was.
Whatever had happened to them, there was indeed blood seeping through their shirt. He could tell even with his vision still all blurry from tears and rain running into his eyes and probably whatever bacteria was in the lake already infesting him. "Fuck, you're bleeding. Who the fuck hit you?"
He wasn't sure why he said "hit you" instead of anything else that made more sense. Hard to make someone bleed with just your hands unless you hit them in the face, but Andy thought of anything else, anyone coming at Hel with a knife or a gun or god knew what, or if said someone decided to make an appearance right about now, he'd-
He didn't know what he'd do. Probably get himself shot or stabbed and then die like a bitch in his underwear while still crying. The thought of that was so stupid that his crying twisted itself up into something like hysterical laughter, and then he was clinging to Hel for support again, careful of the injury this time.
"Fuck. Shit. Abe- Jesus, do something fucking useful, huh? Give me my shit." He meant "bag" so he could use the first-aid kit, but "pants" were probably also a good idea now, if Abe decided to interpret things that way.
Whatever had happened to them, there was indeed blood seeping through their shirt. He could tell even with his vision still all blurry from tears and rain running into his eyes and probably whatever bacteria was in the lake already infesting him. "Fuck, you're bleeding. Who the fuck hit you?"
He wasn't sure why he said "hit you" instead of anything else that made more sense. Hard to make someone bleed with just your hands unless you hit them in the face, but Andy thought of anything else, anyone coming at Hel with a knife or a gun or god knew what, or if said someone decided to make an appearance right about now, he'd-
He didn't know what he'd do. Probably get himself shot or stabbed and then die like a bitch in his underwear while still crying. The thought of that was so stupid that his crying twisted itself up into something like hysterical laughter, and then he was clinging to Hel for support again, careful of the injury this time.
"Fuck. Shit. Abe- Jesus, do something fucking useful, huh? Give me my shit." He meant "bag" so he could use the first-aid kit, but "pants" were probably also a good idea now, if Abe decided to interpret things that way.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Well they couldn't have a single goddamn nice thing anymore, huh? At least not without a huge fukken asterisk floating next to it like a vulture? Abe flinched a bit when Hel screamed, because jesus that was loud, and visceral, and coulda been heard by any number of sketchy assholes even with the rain, and also because he didn't feel great about a buddy being in pain, that still got to be somewhere on his list of priorities, right?
"You got it, boss," Abe said as he scurried over to where they'd left all their shit, careful not to slip and fall face-first in the mud again, 'cause like, he'd just gotten all that off. For a single, treacherous moment he remembered that he had two first-aid kits in his bag, and how it'd be a real bro move to volunteer up those supplies instead of making Andy use up his, and like, in what sorta fucking situation was he gonna use up the contents of two kits by himself without dying somewhere along the line?
Still, it could happen. He could need them. He'd stabbed someone in the fucking back so he could have just a lil' bit more, so like, what sorta survivalist would he be if he wound up just burning all the cards he'd hidden up his sleeve?
It was probably time to have pants again. Tragic, but everyone had to make sacrifices in their lives. He slung Andy's jean over the guy's bag, grabbed his own, then returned to the others, handing over the goods.
"Uh, hope you know what you're doing, 'cause I sure as hell don't. Try not to die, Hel? That'd be rad?" Abe said, trying not to betray that he was feeling a lil' bit worried about their safety as he pulled his jeans back on. The wet denim was a bitch and a half to squirm back into, but he managed eventually.
"You got it, boss," Abe said as he scurried over to where they'd left all their shit, careful not to slip and fall face-first in the mud again, 'cause like, he'd just gotten all that off. For a single, treacherous moment he remembered that he had two first-aid kits in his bag, and how it'd be a real bro move to volunteer up those supplies instead of making Andy use up his, and like, in what sorta fucking situation was he gonna use up the contents of two kits by himself without dying somewhere along the line?
Still, it could happen. He could need them. He'd stabbed someone in the fucking back so he could have just a lil' bit more, so like, what sorta survivalist would he be if he wound up just burning all the cards he'd hidden up his sleeve?
It was probably time to have pants again. Tragic, but everyone had to make sacrifices in their lives. He slung Andy's jean over the guy's bag, grabbed his own, then returned to the others, handing over the goods.
"Uh, hope you know what you're doing, 'cause I sure as hell don't. Try not to die, Hel? That'd be rad?" Abe said, trying not to betray that he was feeling a lil' bit worried about their safety as he pulled his jeans back on. The wet denim was a bitch and a half to squirm back into, but he managed eventually.
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Emprexx Plush
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Hel'd thought about this moment a few times since Toby's name came out over the announcements. Of course Andy and Axel would want to know who did it once they saw what happened to them. If Kara hadn't been a girl they were pretty sure Andy would have stole a car and crossed state lines to kick her ass after some of their fights, and y'know as colorful as their ex was none of her rants held up to a bullet wound. There was part of them, a part they maybe shouldn't nurture but inside them just the same, that would consider giving a name up to Andy a service. He was all kinds of fucked up right now and handing him someone concrete he could go out and beat the shit out of without remorse could do wonders for him. Seize a little control back, feel like he did the right thing, all that stuff. It was dark but after Aurelien and the rest...yeah. Maybe some people needed to get hurt, and if Toby was still alive he'd probably be a good candidate.
"Hey, hey, it's cool, he's..."
But he wasn't.
"It was Toby. He's dead."
Hel hadn't done it, obviously, but they still felt guilt. Guilt for being the catalyst that popped him off in the first place, and for taking what was probably some pretty righteous angry wind out of Andy's sails. Everybody he loved was dying, they turned up shot, and he couldn't do anything about it. The only person out there for him to look for any kind of justice on was Paloma and like, no. Not even for Abel. They couldn't see Andy doing anything about that.
Their hand touched his face. "I'm okay, just, just stupid. D-don't think I tore the stitches. I'll be fine." They would. They had to be the thing that was okay right now.
"Can we check it out somewhere dryer?"
Abe and Andy had filled them in on the specifics under a copse near the lake. What they'd all gotten up to over the last few days made good small talk while checking out Hel's wound; luckily still stitched shut and not bleeding despite all the pain, they really needed to be more careful about that. It was nice, sitting around with nobody wanting to hurt anybody else for a change. They even promised Axel would be coming back soon.
Hel's eyes kept drifting off into the distance, looking for approaching shapes.
They wouldn't believe it until they saw him.
"Have you guys thought about home at all?"
"Hey, hey, it's cool, he's..."
But he wasn't.
"It was Toby. He's dead."
Hel hadn't done it, obviously, but they still felt guilt. Guilt for being the catalyst that popped him off in the first place, and for taking what was probably some pretty righteous angry wind out of Andy's sails. Everybody he loved was dying, they turned up shot, and he couldn't do anything about it. The only person out there for him to look for any kind of justice on was Paloma and like, no. Not even for Abel. They couldn't see Andy doing anything about that.
Their hand touched his face. "I'm okay, just, just stupid. D-don't think I tore the stitches. I'll be fine." They would. They had to be the thing that was okay right now.
"Can we check it out somewhere dryer?"
Abe and Andy had filled them in on the specifics under a copse near the lake. What they'd all gotten up to over the last few days made good small talk while checking out Hel's wound; luckily still stitched shut and not bleeding despite all the pain, they really needed to be more careful about that. It was nice, sitting around with nobody wanting to hurt anybody else for a change. They even promised Axel would be coming back soon.
Hel's eyes kept drifting off into the distance, looking for approaching shapes.
They wouldn't believe it until they saw him.
"Have you guys thought about home at all?"
Well, Hel wasn't dying, probably, which was pretty neat, because that'd probably make Andy go completely off the deep end, or, rather, into the deep end, haha, not to mention Axel, and it's not like Abe was confident in his ability to smoothly move past that whole situation, either?
They were fine. They'd been shot, so they weren't fine, but they'd somehow gotten fucking stitches from someone who probably deserved an honorary doctorate in battlefield medicine or some shit, for having both the skill and inclination to do something that was like, legit surgery? It was kinda funny to imagine, some Hippocrates-worshiping kid deciding to use their last days to wander around, doing no harm and all that good shit, patching up wounds where they could, definitely badass, definitely dead within like five days.
Abe was just now realizing that he could see, like, everything under Hel's shirt, which was kinda awkward but also, he'd been boxer-naked a minute ago, and also, who even gave a shit anymore?
"Yeah, I've had enough rain for like, my entire lifetime." Get it? It was funny, because, everyone was gonna die soon. Whatever. They got going.
Axel wasn't back yet. Even if they'd all been on some fucking vanilla Robinson Crusoe-ass island adventure, that'd still be cause for concern, right? Like, he sure as hell wasn't gonna suggest that they go, like, looking for him, 'cause that's how you started some irritatingly long comedy of errors where everyone just barely misses meeting up with everyone else, and they only, like, reunite minutes before they all get fucked, but it still made him feel like shit to just sit there and wait.
God. Abe was worrying about someone more than he was worrying about himself. Bad habit! Well, it'd correct itself eventually, one way or another. For the moment, all he could do was distract himself with conversation, which had taken an annoyingly non-distracting turn.
"Yeah, like, pretty much constantly? Like, every time something fucked happens here, I get a lil' flash of 'huh, things didn't used to be like this, what the hell man', y'know? Like, I've got an actual human gun in my lap right now! Me! Probably gonna have to fucking decimate someone with it eventually! I never even like, shot a BB gun in boy scouts or anything!"
Not to mention the constant undercurrent of physical discomforts - sore back from sleeping on the ground, soaked everything, a mess of greasy hair hidden under his beanie - but like, that seemed kinda petty to bring up when Andy's girlfriend was fucking dead.
They were fine. They'd been shot, so they weren't fine, but they'd somehow gotten fucking stitches from someone who probably deserved an honorary doctorate in battlefield medicine or some shit, for having both the skill and inclination to do something that was like, legit surgery? It was kinda funny to imagine, some Hippocrates-worshiping kid deciding to use their last days to wander around, doing no harm and all that good shit, patching up wounds where they could, definitely badass, definitely dead within like five days.
Abe was just now realizing that he could see, like, everything under Hel's shirt, which was kinda awkward but also, he'd been boxer-naked a minute ago, and also, who even gave a shit anymore?
"Yeah, I've had enough rain for like, my entire lifetime." Get it? It was funny, because, everyone was gonna die soon. Whatever. They got going.
Axel wasn't back yet. Even if they'd all been on some fucking vanilla Robinson Crusoe-ass island adventure, that'd still be cause for concern, right? Like, he sure as hell wasn't gonna suggest that they go, like, looking for him, 'cause that's how you started some irritatingly long comedy of errors where everyone just barely misses meeting up with everyone else, and they only, like, reunite minutes before they all get fucked, but it still made him feel like shit to just sit there and wait.
God. Abe was worrying about someone more than he was worrying about himself. Bad habit! Well, it'd correct itself eventually, one way or another. For the moment, all he could do was distract himself with conversation, which had taken an annoyingly non-distracting turn.
"Yeah, like, pretty much constantly? Like, every time something fucked happens here, I get a lil' flash of 'huh, things didn't used to be like this, what the hell man', y'know? Like, I've got an actual human gun in my lap right now! Me! Probably gonna have to fucking decimate someone with it eventually! I never even like, shot a BB gun in boy scouts or anything!"
Not to mention the constant undercurrent of physical discomforts - sore back from sleeping on the ground, soaked everything, a mess of greasy hair hidden under his beanie - but like, that seemed kinda petty to bring up when Andy's girlfriend was fucking dead.
>> Axel Fontaine continued from a cave and now he's back here and oh shit oh fuck
"Shit."
They were gone.
Like, for real.
He'd hustled out from the waterfall cave quick as he could because holy shit did he not wanna get involved with whatever the fuck was happening with Marco and whoever it was he was having a murder party with. Conveniently once he was out of there he was at... the lake. The lake he needed to be on the other side of. This time he stuck close to shore and didn't let it get out of his sight so even his stupid ass couldn't possibly get lost. The tradeoff is he got even more soaking wet this go-around since he wasn't anywhere near any tree cover, but hey, whatever. He wasn't lost, that was a good sign.
He kept looking out at the lake, looking for Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass and coming up with nothing and yknow, it was kinda hard to tell where he was exactly with the lake and with where he'd actually started and he was thinking about how he could probably walk around the whole fucking lake and wind up back at the waterfall and not realize, until he realized. He looked out at the lake and the lake looked back.
This was it. This was where he'd started. He recognized the horizon, and he recognized a particular weird clump of grass on the shoreline, and no one was here.
They'd actually fucking left. They were actually gone. He was actually alone. He had to get his stuff from their camp and his friends were gone? They were gone. He had to go back to camp now? Shit.
He took a swig from his water bottle, refilled with rainwater, and stared blankly out at the lake while his brain went static.
"Shit."
They were gone.
Like, for real.
He'd hustled out from the waterfall cave quick as he could because holy shit did he not wanna get involved with whatever the fuck was happening with Marco and whoever it was he was having a murder party with. Conveniently once he was out of there he was at... the lake. The lake he needed to be on the other side of. This time he stuck close to shore and didn't let it get out of his sight so even his stupid ass couldn't possibly get lost. The tradeoff is he got even more soaking wet this go-around since he wasn't anywhere near any tree cover, but hey, whatever. He wasn't lost, that was a good sign.
He kept looking out at the lake, looking for Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass and coming up with nothing and yknow, it was kinda hard to tell where he was exactly with the lake and with where he'd actually started and he was thinking about how he could probably walk around the whole fucking lake and wind up back at the waterfall and not realize, until he realized. He looked out at the lake and the lake looked back.
This was it. This was where he'd started. He recognized the horizon, and he recognized a particular weird clump of grass on the shoreline, and no one was here.
They'd actually fucking left. They were actually gone. He was actually alone. He had to get his stuff from their camp and his friends were gone? They were gone. He had to go back to camp now? Shit.
He took a swig from his water bottle, refilled with rainwater, and stared blankly out at the lake while his brain went static.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Emprexx Plush
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Abe kinda didn't get it? Or maybe he did, they didn't know, could just be how the guy processed. They weren't renting any space in each other's heads, like at one point the applications were in review but there's a lot of paperwork that goes into property management and sometimes things get lost when you're bad at your job. Hel was bad at pretty much every job they'd ever had and it was kind of a relief to be bad at this one from the perspective of metaphor because like, fuck landlords right? It was great they were bad at that, cross that one right of the list of possibilities and reduce the chance they ended up against The Wall in the inevitable revolution. Okay that didn't super matter anymore because hey, death island, none of them would get to see the proletariat's day of glory anymore but it was a principles thing! Let them have this moral victory, gods.
Where were they?
Right, home, not getting it, Abe, tenancy, back on track. Abe was talking about himself and that could be their fault for phrasing it kind of shitty but they had meant...y'know, family and stuff. How everybody was coping with all this. Obviously it was pretty heavy on their mind, they were already going over what they wanted to talk about the next time they could sit down alone. Was that weird? Like, was it just them? It was why they asked in the first place. They had a lot of weird ideas about What To Do On Murder Island and this could be another on. It felt like something people should care about more. What was Abe's family like? They had no clue but even if they were shitty it was, dunno, kinda strange that the first thing he thought about was guns and boy scouts and wait what'd he say about deci-
There was a shape. A distinctly boyfriend-shaped figure going the wrong way. Their face lit up under hands cupping their mouth before they realized what they were going to say.
"HEY DUMBASS!"
That'd work!
Running had already been hard ruled out, no thank you on that repeat, so Hel couldn't say they rushed to him. A reasonable hobble, though? Actually fuck that. A vigorous hobble. Hella vigorous! Pushing the definition of what qualified as a hobble to its absolute limits! It was probably for the best, with less momentum he'd probably wipe out softer when they tackled him.
...oh gods they hoped they didn't break his nose again.
Where were they?
Right, home, not getting it, Abe, tenancy, back on track. Abe was talking about himself and that could be their fault for phrasing it kind of shitty but they had meant...y'know, family and stuff. How everybody was coping with all this. Obviously it was pretty heavy on their mind, they were already going over what they wanted to talk about the next time they could sit down alone. Was that weird? Like, was it just them? It was why they asked in the first place. They had a lot of weird ideas about What To Do On Murder Island and this could be another on. It felt like something people should care about more. What was Abe's family like? They had no clue but even if they were shitty it was, dunno, kinda strange that the first thing he thought about was guns and boy scouts and wait what'd he say about deci-
There was a shape. A distinctly boyfriend-shaped figure going the wrong way. Their face lit up under hands cupping their mouth before they realized what they were going to say.
"HEY DUMBASS!"
That'd work!
Running had already been hard ruled out, no thank you on that repeat, so Hel couldn't say they rushed to him. A reasonable hobble, though? Actually fuck that. A vigorous hobble. Hella vigorous! Pushing the definition of what qualified as a hobble to its absolute limits! It was probably for the best, with less momentum he'd probably wipe out softer when they tackled him.
...oh gods they hoped they didn't break his nose again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toby. Shit. Dead. Andy couldn't like, find his corpse and kick the shit out of it or anything, that'd be probably going just a little too far, right? He still thought about doing it, but in like an incidental way, like if they happened to stumble across Toby just kind of fucking festering in a ditch he would probably kick it just for good measure, but he wasn't going to out of his way looking for it or anything.
He felt nauseous.
But Abe did actually buck the fuck up and do something useful, and Andy managed to shove all the other bullshit out of his head for five goddamn seconds so he could try to be useful too.
"Yeah, shit. Come on." He held his arms out to Hel, and only thought about how weird it was that he was still almost naked and holding them for a couple of seconds. That was kind of a victory.
Things were kind of... blurry after that. It had always been like that when he slipped into full-blown freakout mode and then finally came down. Head got fuzzy, like an old TV turned between channels, or the car radio when you were between towns. Nothing of substance coming in, nothing going out for more than a few seconds at a time.
Everything hurt. There was a hole in him that he hadn't been prepared for even with the universe trying to pummel them all into submission, and every time he thought too long about certain things, he came across the fresh, raw edges of the wound again. The only solution he could come up with was to try and not think too hard about anything at all for a bit, just let Hel and Abe be the background noise while he clung to the fact that Hel was here and real and alive like a lifeline.
Home was a thing, he kind of grasped where they were going with this one, but truth be told he really hadn't though about it at all? His mind had been on the here and now, until the here and now got too fucked up for him to keep a handle on it. And anyway, he was kind of the useless idiot of the family, like, he was sure his parents and brothers would be glad to have him not-dead over the alternative, but if you were going to pick one of them to cut out of the family holiday photos, well, he always stood in the back anyway.
Andy was kind of soaking in that morbid thought, letting it marinate a bit to see how it turned out, and then Hel's shout jerked him back to reality. They were up and off like a... well okay, they weren't exactly going 0 to 60, he probably could catch up with them at a fairly leisurely stride all things considered. So that was what he did, because he recognized the figure in the distance too, and while Axel had kind of slipped out of Andy's mind for a minute among all the other shit, he had been gone for way too fucking long and deserved a noogie-ing or something along those lines.
"HEY ASSHOLE!" He supplemented Hel's cry with his own bellow. "OVER HERE, DIPSHIT!" He waved his arms for good measure.
He felt nauseous.
But Abe did actually buck the fuck up and do something useful, and Andy managed to shove all the other bullshit out of his head for five goddamn seconds so he could try to be useful too.
"Yeah, shit. Come on." He held his arms out to Hel, and only thought about how weird it was that he was still almost naked and holding them for a couple of seconds. That was kind of a victory.
Things were kind of... blurry after that. It had always been like that when he slipped into full-blown freakout mode and then finally came down. Head got fuzzy, like an old TV turned between channels, or the car radio when you were between towns. Nothing of substance coming in, nothing going out for more than a few seconds at a time.
Everything hurt. There was a hole in him that he hadn't been prepared for even with the universe trying to pummel them all into submission, and every time he thought too long about certain things, he came across the fresh, raw edges of the wound again. The only solution he could come up with was to try and not think too hard about anything at all for a bit, just let Hel and Abe be the background noise while he clung to the fact that Hel was here and real and alive like a lifeline.
Home was a thing, he kind of grasped where they were going with this one, but truth be told he really hadn't though about it at all? His mind had been on the here and now, until the here and now got too fucked up for him to keep a handle on it. And anyway, he was kind of the useless idiot of the family, like, he was sure his parents and brothers would be glad to have him not-dead over the alternative, but if you were going to pick one of them to cut out of the family holiday photos, well, he always stood in the back anyway.
Andy was kind of soaking in that morbid thought, letting it marinate a bit to see how it turned out, and then Hel's shout jerked him back to reality. They were up and off like a... well okay, they weren't exactly going 0 to 60, he probably could catch up with them at a fairly leisurely stride all things considered. So that was what he did, because he recognized the figure in the distance too, and while Axel had kind of slipped out of Andy's mind for a minute among all the other shit, he had been gone for way too fucking long and deserved a noogie-ing or something along those lines.
"HEY ASSHOLE!" He supplemented Hel's cry with his own bellow. "OVER HERE, DIPSHIT!" He waved his arms for good measure.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Well damn, the worst-case scenario of never seeing Axel again that Abe definitely hadn’t been obsessing over just suddenly did a sick 180 no-scope, and hey, everything was alright again. Time for his voice to join the cries of the damned. The dumb. The dumbed.
“BEEN TAKING YOUR SWEET TIME, HUH, YA PRICK?” It felt good to shout along with the other dumbasses, like he wasn’t really one of them (group-wise that is, Abe was one-hundo percent a dumbass) but hey, they all cared a whole lot about one (1) asshole, and that wasn’t the worst thing to have in common, right? Of course, now the band was back together, which was real nice in theory and also practice, but like, Abe wasn’t in the band, or any band, because who the hell had time to learn an instrument or have a voice, right, so he was officially the fourth wheel now.
Having a fourth wheel was like, inherently a lot better than having a third, because that meant he got to be on a car instead of a fucking tricycle, but like, he was obviously still the weakest link, ‘cause if you had to rate people’s affections for him on a scale from zero to one, Axel’d charitably be a .80, Hel’d be like a .25, and Andy’d be like a -.90 because he wasn’t literally his satan, so overall he scored slightly positive, which was obviously better than being not garnering any sort of positive sentiment, but being bros with Axel didn’t mean the other two were gonna suddenly swear a blood debt to him and let him play the tambourine or some shit.
None of them would ever take a bullet for him. Which was, like, fair, Abe wouldn’t do it for any of them, either, though he’d at least have the decency to feel bad about it. Even if it was Andy. Probably.
Hel deserved first dibs at the gross, damp, mud-slick slow-mo flower field reunion run, so Abe just sorta hung back with Andy.
“BEEN TAKING YOUR SWEET TIME, HUH, YA PRICK?” It felt good to shout along with the other dumbasses, like he wasn’t really one of them (group-wise that is, Abe was one-hundo percent a dumbass) but hey, they all cared a whole lot about one (1) asshole, and that wasn’t the worst thing to have in common, right? Of course, now the band was back together, which was real nice in theory and also practice, but like, Abe wasn’t in the band, or any band, because who the hell had time to learn an instrument or have a voice, right, so he was officially the fourth wheel now.
Having a fourth wheel was like, inherently a lot better than having a third, because that meant he got to be on a car instead of a fucking tricycle, but like, he was obviously still the weakest link, ‘cause if you had to rate people’s affections for him on a scale from zero to one, Axel’d charitably be a .80, Hel’d be like a .25, and Andy’d be like a -.90 because he wasn’t literally his satan, so overall he scored slightly positive, which was obviously better than being not garnering any sort of positive sentiment, but being bros with Axel didn’t mean the other two were gonna suddenly swear a blood debt to him and let him play the tambourine or some shit.
None of them would ever take a bullet for him. Which was, like, fair, Abe wouldn’t do it for any of them, either, though he’d at least have the decency to feel bad about it. Even if it was Andy. Probably.
Hel deserved first dibs at the gross, damp, mud-slick slow-mo flower field reunion run, so Abe just sorta hung back with Andy.
"Uh—"
He knew that voice. He thought he knew that voice, anyway, cause it was a voice he knew real well. Last time he remembered hearing it was a sleepy "good night" as they dozed off on his shoulder and after that he also dozed off and then woke up on murder island so basically it'd been the last thing he heard before the world went to shit. That was kinda nice, wasn't it? Like, that that was the last memory he was gonna have from the real world? Even if they had probably dozed off because the air was full of evil terrorist drugs or whatever. That only tainted things if he thought about it. Kinda like he was doing right now.
Anyway that was Hel's voice except it couldn't be because Hel couldn't be here except he turned around and hey that looked suspiciously like Hel. Possibly because it was Hel.
He was.
???
He was emotions. He sure was those! Problem was it was kind of hard to pick through which of those he was and which ones mattered and which ones were bullshit because a wave of like eighteen things collapsed on him all at once kinda the way Hel themself did as he was standing there staring at them with a blank, open-mouthed look on his stupid face. Hey, he was supposed to be happy. He was, right? They were here. Hel. His Hel. The Hel that was his datefriend as of way too recently, they were here? They were alive.
They were alive. They were alive.
Fuck.
They weren't supposed to be here.
He knew they were here, he had that memory in mind, still, their sleepy smile looking at him before their eyes fluttered closed, he'd already freaked out about this, right, but they were here now and that made it for real and he was happy, he wrapped his arms around them like he'd never let go. He was happy! He was! He just wished they were literally anywhere else on the planet and that he wasn't about to cry. They were happy. That mattered more, anyway.
His dumbass friends were yelling at him and that kinda helped a lot more than it should've. Helped enough that he gave them the double-barrelled bird over Hel's shoulders right before he pushed his lips onto theirs.
That helped, too.
Probably helped a little too much cause he and Hel were just standing there making out for a while, hey. It was that kinda thing sometimes, at least until his mind made the mistake of wandering and remembered some shit and like, "oh, shit," he pulled away and looked at Hel's face and he could melt there in their eyes for a minute like a loser but if he did that he'd forget the thing he just remembered. Instead he slid his hand down to theirs, held it tight.
Felt right. Felt familiar. He looked back up toward Andy and Abe who were at their campsite the whole time christ Axel how are you this incompetent and walked over, Hel in tow. Hel was walking awfully slow. That might've meant something. He could deal with that in a minute. Right?
"Yo," he started awkwardly as he approached, squeezing Hel's hand tighter, well aware he hadn't actually said anything to them yet because he might burst when he did. "I, uh, didn't mean to—fuck, I'm sorry. Got lost and shit."
His eyes flicked over to Andy.
"I'm... like. I'm sorry. About..."
Your dead girlfriend.
"... Y'know."
He knew that voice. He thought he knew that voice, anyway, cause it was a voice he knew real well. Last time he remembered hearing it was a sleepy "good night" as they dozed off on his shoulder and after that he also dozed off and then woke up on murder island so basically it'd been the last thing he heard before the world went to shit. That was kinda nice, wasn't it? Like, that that was the last memory he was gonna have from the real world? Even if they had probably dozed off because the air was full of evil terrorist drugs or whatever. That only tainted things if he thought about it. Kinda like he was doing right now.
Anyway that was Hel's voice except it couldn't be because Hel couldn't be here except he turned around and hey that looked suspiciously like Hel. Possibly because it was Hel.
He was.
???
He was emotions. He sure was those! Problem was it was kind of hard to pick through which of those he was and which ones mattered and which ones were bullshit because a wave of like eighteen things collapsed on him all at once kinda the way Hel themself did as he was standing there staring at them with a blank, open-mouthed look on his stupid face. Hey, he was supposed to be happy. He was, right? They were here. Hel. His Hel. The Hel that was his datefriend as of way too recently, they were here? They were alive.
They were alive. They were alive.
Fuck.
They weren't supposed to be here.
He knew they were here, he had that memory in mind, still, their sleepy smile looking at him before their eyes fluttered closed, he'd already freaked out about this, right, but they were here now and that made it for real and he was happy, he wrapped his arms around them like he'd never let go. He was happy! He was! He just wished they were literally anywhere else on the planet and that he wasn't about to cry. They were happy. That mattered more, anyway.
His dumbass friends were yelling at him and that kinda helped a lot more than it should've. Helped enough that he gave them the double-barrelled bird over Hel's shoulders right before he pushed his lips onto theirs.
That helped, too.
Probably helped a little too much cause he and Hel were just standing there making out for a while, hey. It was that kinda thing sometimes, at least until his mind made the mistake of wandering and remembered some shit and like, "oh, shit," he pulled away and looked at Hel's face and he could melt there in their eyes for a minute like a loser but if he did that he'd forget the thing he just remembered. Instead he slid his hand down to theirs, held it tight.
Felt right. Felt familiar. He looked back up toward Andy and Abe who were at their campsite the whole time christ Axel how are you this incompetent and walked over, Hel in tow. Hel was walking awfully slow. That might've meant something. He could deal with that in a minute. Right?
"Yo," he started awkwardly as he approached, squeezing Hel's hand tighter, well aware he hadn't actually said anything to them yet because he might burst when he did. "I, uh, didn't mean to—fuck, I'm sorry. Got lost and shit."
His eyes flicked over to Andy.
"I'm... like. I'm sorry. About..."
Your dead girlfriend.
"... Y'know."
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Emprexx Plush
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Axel and Hel knew each other...well, they knew each other longer than he realized. Or like, if he had realized it they never talked about it? Neither of them talked about when they were younger much, at least not sober. They'd been friends for years though, a whole lot longer than they'd been dating. Things happened when you were friends with a guy like Axel though. Hel only had a couple short relationships before Kara, and Axel was lucky to make it a month without breaking up. Blame it on how much time they spent drunk or high or both around each other, long as you could conveniently ignore all the times they'd ended up together sober. Some of those you could pass off as goofs to wig Andy out since for a long list of reasons seeing them together got under his skin bad. The rest, well, you could call them mistakes if things hadn't worked out. Hel would never know now, kind of a dick move to break up with someone in the last days of their life so they were probably stuck together? However you wanted to call it, Hel had a lot of experience with Axel. Crashing into him with the whole world burning away until in the space between their eyes closing and opening he made them feel like all that existed? Nothing new. Circumstance never changed it before, so why let it now?
See, what they'd learned is that Axel had an insanely efficient one track mind. He could only ever be in one state, he felt things one emotion at a time and in the moment they were pretty often the strongest thing he'd ever felt. People got caught up in it, they figured it was part of why he was so popular. He laughed and people lit up. He wanted to fight and tempers exploded. He wanted you, and gods. Not many people could make you feel desired like Axel Fontaine. Once you got it his whole social circle made a hell of a lot more sense, and at first being a part of it was intoxicating. Problem was his focus didn't stay anywhere long. That moment when it landed on you was incredible, but 99% of the time it was just a moment. You didn't disappear, but you weren't as engaging as whatever pulled him away. He'd come back, maybe, but he had places to be first. Nobody was immune to it. They sure weren't.
What they were getting at was as much experience as they had with Axel, they knew what it was like when he was kissing them and thinking of someone else.
Hel and Andy had never hashed out a real heart to heart about their relationship with Axel because they couldn't figure out how to make things like that sound better. It wasn't, like, he didn't do it on purpose. They believed that. Whatever it was that made him work like this, he didn't ask for it. It'd kinda be surprising if he even understood it. And like, you jumped to certain conclusions when you heard it phrased like that, but it wasn't always someone else he wanted to, y'know, it was complicated! It probably wasn't where his head was now. Probably. It was Andy he was occupied with, they couldn't judge him for that.
He didn't say her name.
Hel decided that was for the best and followed his lead by saying nothing at all.
((Hel Fury Continued In @shdwmstr recordings and transcripts june 11th))
See, what they'd learned is that Axel had an insanely efficient one track mind. He could only ever be in one state, he felt things one emotion at a time and in the moment they were pretty often the strongest thing he'd ever felt. People got caught up in it, they figured it was part of why he was so popular. He laughed and people lit up. He wanted to fight and tempers exploded. He wanted you, and gods. Not many people could make you feel desired like Axel Fontaine. Once you got it his whole social circle made a hell of a lot more sense, and at first being a part of it was intoxicating. Problem was his focus didn't stay anywhere long. That moment when it landed on you was incredible, but 99% of the time it was just a moment. You didn't disappear, but you weren't as engaging as whatever pulled him away. He'd come back, maybe, but he had places to be first. Nobody was immune to it. They sure weren't.
What they were getting at was as much experience as they had with Axel, they knew what it was like when he was kissing them and thinking of someone else.
Hel and Andy had never hashed out a real heart to heart about their relationship with Axel because they couldn't figure out how to make things like that sound better. It wasn't, like, he didn't do it on purpose. They believed that. Whatever it was that made him work like this, he didn't ask for it. It'd kinda be surprising if he even understood it. And like, you jumped to certain conclusions when you heard it phrased like that, but it wasn't always someone else he wanted to, y'know, it was complicated! It probably wasn't where his head was now. Probably. It was Andy he was occupied with, they couldn't judge him for that.
He didn't say her name.
Hel decided that was for the best and followed his lead by saying nothing at all.
((Hel Fury Continued In @shdwmstr recordings and transcripts june 11th))
Oh okay warm fuzzies all around and all that, but they were gonna come right back to this, huh?
Andy made a gesture that almost turned into a shrug before he realized that he shouldn't do that, so instead his arms just kind of flopped around. He didn't know what else to do, because if he tried to say anything about it that entailed like, thinking and opening his mouth at the same time. Two things. Too many things. Just wave all that away and deal with it later.
"Come get out of the rain, jackass."
Deflecting like a champ, or at least like someone you'd take pity on if you met them on the court.
Axel being back and Hel being here made four. Four was good. Nice even number, a good square. It meant they had to include Abe, but whatever. As long as he was around, Andy wasn't technically the third wheel.
If he just kept not thinking, kept pushing everything away except for what was right in front of him in the moment, maybe he'd be able to keep breathing.
Andy made a gesture that almost turned into a shrug before he realized that he shouldn't do that, so instead his arms just kind of flopped around. He didn't know what else to do, because if he tried to say anything about it that entailed like, thinking and opening his mouth at the same time. Two things. Too many things. Just wave all that away and deal with it later.
"Come get out of the rain, jackass."
Deflecting like a champ, or at least like someone you'd take pity on if you met them on the court.
Axel being back and Hel being here made four. Four was good. Nice even number, a good square. It meant they had to include Abe, but whatever. As long as he was around, Andy wasn't technically the third wheel.
If he just kept not thinking, kept pushing everything away except for what was right in front of him in the moment, maybe he'd be able to keep breathing.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Abe's buddies made out for an uncomfortably long time, but like, good for them, smooching was better than dying any day of the week. He felt a twinge of envy, just a lil' one, just a flash of Forrest's face in his mind's eye. He didn't wanna think about how badly everyone's breath had to be stinking. Maybe Forrest'd somehow had the foresight to pack a toothbrush in her carry-on, but like, probably not. In a hypothetical competition between them to try and determine who had their shit more together, they'd tie by way of head-on trainwreck.
He looked away from the deliriously happy couple, ran his tongue over his teeth, winced at their plaque-covered texture. Glanced up. Yep, still making out. If it wouldn't have been horrifically insensitive, he would've joked around and asked Andy if he was down for some retaliatory face-mooshing-together, just to give those happy jerks a taste of their own medicine, but like, Andy's girlfriend was dead. That wasn't a thing that had changed.
Speaking of which. Abe wasn't sure why he'd figured that Axel'd do a better job at comforting Andy than him, other than the fact that he was his best friend five-ever or some shit, 'cause he was still Axel. Well, he knew why he'd had any amount of faith, it was because Abe just sorta tended to assume that other people were more competent than him, generally speaking, but like. Axel wasn't well-known for his emotional prowess either.
Well, too bad, Hel wasn't saying anything and Andy was moving on, so Abe'd just follow their example. "Maybe we can all try being, like, dry for once in our lives. That'd be pretty neato."
He looked away from the deliriously happy couple, ran his tongue over his teeth, winced at their plaque-covered texture. Glanced up. Yep, still making out. If it wouldn't have been horrifically insensitive, he would've joked around and asked Andy if he was down for some retaliatory face-mooshing-together, just to give those happy jerks a taste of their own medicine, but like, Andy's girlfriend was dead. That wasn't a thing that had changed.
Speaking of which. Abe wasn't sure why he'd figured that Axel'd do a better job at comforting Andy than him, other than the fact that he was his best friend five-ever or some shit, 'cause he was still Axel. Well, he knew why he'd had any amount of faith, it was because Abe just sorta tended to assume that other people were more competent than him, generally speaking, but like. Axel wasn't well-known for his emotional prowess either.
Well, too bad, Hel wasn't saying anything and Andy was moving on, so Abe'd just follow their example. "Maybe we can all try being, like, dry for once in our lives. That'd be pretty neato."
So they were doing this, huh?
Or like, more accurately, not doing this. Whatever.
"Yeah," Axel muttered, his eyes flitting to the ground, because yeah, being not soaking wet for a minute would be cool, even though at this point he was so used to it that he was pretty sure getting into cover would just make it more distracting. His boxers were still sticking to his thighs in that really gross way where it was like half sweat and half rainwater and he like wanted to make adjustments but that would be weird now that his datefriend was right there, probably, even though they wouldn't care and neither would anyone else on the planet? Literally, considering everyone watching at home had seen his dick already?
Anyway.
He took Hel's hand, looked at them, they looked like themself, mostly. He'd seen them tired, he'd seen them distracted, he'd seen them in some dark places, they didn't look unfamiliar except for being, like, a bit more unwashed than usual, and he couldn't complain about that when he smelled like a garbage man in a garbage can. Hey, maybe he was thinking about this too hard? Maybe it would be better for all of them if he just, y'know, didn't? Maybe he could just hang out with his best friends, for a little while? Maybe he could keep kissing Hel and not care how bad their breaths both stank.
Kinda felt stupid dwelling on Mikki if Andy didn't want to, anyway. He was a shitty friend for having not been here to begin with but hey, it was over now. They had to, like, move on and shit. If he didn't think about it too hard that could just be that.
Axel paused for a moment and squeezed Hel's hand, looking at them, smiling.
"Glad you found us."
If he didn't think too hard about it, it was the truth.
Axel was great at not thinking too hard.
Time passed.
That again. "Time passed." It was a lot of time, and it got away from him way too quickly, because it was comfortable even if it was in an awkward way. Because he was with the people he loved most (and Abe was also here, sick burn) (but like maybe he loved Abe too a little bit but like let's not dive into that one right now) and it felt safe and almost normal, just the world's shittiest camping trip. At least until he heard a noise in the jungle and their hands all jumped to their respective weapons and two felt like two too many guns for your average campout, didn't it, and oh yeah they were all gonna die.
The hours went by in weird cycles like that.
Eventually night came, and sleep happened, and maybe he was just fucking exhausted from all the adventuring he'd done today but he slept like the dead. It was a nice change. He'd passed out with Hel curled under his arm, still awake, he could tell from their breathing, and he'd woken up to them standing over them holding their gun which was like a little disconcerting but they handed it to him cause it was his turn to keep watch and it was easier to pass Hel's gun around than to convince Abe to do anything with his that wasn't "sleep with it like its his favoriteist teddy bear".
He passed it off to Andy when the very first rays of sunlight cracked the horizon and promptly fell back asleep until the speakers came to life and woke him up. He opened his eyes for a moment, flipped the vague direction of the speakers the bird, and then closed them again.
Oh.
He sat up like he'd been pulled by puppet strings.
"Ah—"
His throat was dry. Eyes wild. He wanted to move but he'd lose everyone again so he couldn't do that but he had to go, right now, he had to go right now, they'd understand wouldn't they, he had to GO.
He opened his mouth again but it was just these scratching rustling noises and then, creaky as a loose floorboard,
"He can't—"
He was shaking. It was familiar.
Every time he hit rock bottom he'd just keep digging.
Or like, more accurately, not doing this. Whatever.
"Yeah," Axel muttered, his eyes flitting to the ground, because yeah, being not soaking wet for a minute would be cool, even though at this point he was so used to it that he was pretty sure getting into cover would just make it more distracting. His boxers were still sticking to his thighs in that really gross way where it was like half sweat and half rainwater and he like wanted to make adjustments but that would be weird now that his datefriend was right there, probably, even though they wouldn't care and neither would anyone else on the planet? Literally, considering everyone watching at home had seen his dick already?
Anyway.
He took Hel's hand, looked at them, they looked like themself, mostly. He'd seen them tired, he'd seen them distracted, he'd seen them in some dark places, they didn't look unfamiliar except for being, like, a bit more unwashed than usual, and he couldn't complain about that when he smelled like a garbage man in a garbage can. Hey, maybe he was thinking about this too hard? Maybe it would be better for all of them if he just, y'know, didn't? Maybe he could just hang out with his best friends, for a little while? Maybe he could keep kissing Hel and not care how bad their breaths both stank.
Kinda felt stupid dwelling on Mikki if Andy didn't want to, anyway. He was a shitty friend for having not been here to begin with but hey, it was over now. They had to, like, move on and shit. If he didn't think about it too hard that could just be that.
Axel paused for a moment and squeezed Hel's hand, looking at them, smiling.
"Glad you found us."
If he didn't think too hard about it, it was the truth.
Axel was great at not thinking too hard.
Time passed.
That again. "Time passed." It was a lot of time, and it got away from him way too quickly, because it was comfortable even if it was in an awkward way. Because he was with the people he loved most (and Abe was also here, sick burn) (but like maybe he loved Abe too a little bit but like let's not dive into that one right now) and it felt safe and almost normal, just the world's shittiest camping trip. At least until he heard a noise in the jungle and their hands all jumped to their respective weapons and two felt like two too many guns for your average campout, didn't it, and oh yeah they were all gonna die.
The hours went by in weird cycles like that.
Eventually night came, and sleep happened, and maybe he was just fucking exhausted from all the adventuring he'd done today but he slept like the dead. It was a nice change. He'd passed out with Hel curled under his arm, still awake, he could tell from their breathing, and he'd woken up to them standing over them holding their gun which was like a little disconcerting but they handed it to him cause it was his turn to keep watch and it was easier to pass Hel's gun around than to convince Abe to do anything with his that wasn't "sleep with it like its his favoriteist teddy bear".
He passed it off to Andy when the very first rays of sunlight cracked the horizon and promptly fell back asleep until the speakers came to life and woke him up. He opened his eyes for a moment, flipped the vague direction of the speakers the bird, and then closed them again.
Oh.
He sat up like he'd been pulled by puppet strings.
"Ah—"
His throat was dry. Eyes wild. He wanted to move but he'd lose everyone again so he couldn't do that but he had to go, right now, he had to go right now, they'd understand wouldn't they, he had to GO.
He opened his mouth again but it was just these scratching rustling noises and then, creaky as a loose floorboard,
"He can't—"
He was shaking. It was familiar.
Every time he hit rock bottom he'd just keep digging.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."