...Oh. Damn. Abe had really thought they'd been feeling something there, together, but maybe it'd all just been in his head. Or, more realistically, his dick. He straightened up, reluctantly separated himself from Forrest, sitting a few inches away from her on the bed.
"Sorry," he said, because what else was there to say? He was starting to think with his brain again, one fuckin' unwelcome prospect. He'd pushed too far, too fast. Pushed away everything that was sketchy about the situation from his mind.
A few awkward moments of silence passed while he caught his breath, and he fucking hated the rising feeling of shame. He and Forrest were supposed to have, like, good times together, right? That was their whole thing? He hadn't signed up for things to turn all messy and weird, but maybe, like, that'd all been him. Maybe this was just what real relationships were like? Maybe he was bad, or relationships were bad, or maybe he was just bad at love or lust or whatever the hell he was feeling at any given moment?
"You, uh, ready to talk now?" He said, lamely, because what else was there to say?
Room Who Cares: Whatever
Private
However bad Forrest had been feeling she felt worse seeing Abes reaction.
“No, it’s not your fault.” She said, reaching out and taking one of his hands with her good one. A cliched move but she didn’t know what else she could do. “I just don’t think...” She didn’t know a good way to say it. It all made sense though. Every time she had been in a similar situation her reaction was the same. The only plus to the current one was that she hadn’t freaked out and run away. She still wanted too, but she fought against that urge. “It’s just...” Words were hard.
There was no easy way to go about it but she’d made a deal with a pink elephant. She squeezed Abes hand a little and looked at his face. She didn’t want to do the same thing again.
“I’m asexual.”
Once she said it more words cane flooding out, like a dam in her mind had burst.
“I’ve just never been interested in sex every time I get close to it I’d freak out and run away I don’t know if I knew why or just decided to hide from it but I kinda felt it with Andy and now with you and I don’t know if it makes sense or not but I was worried I was broken or something because I’ve felt broken for so long because she left me and I’ve always wondered if that was my fault and there was something wrong with me and I think that’s why I’m the way I am because maybe I could get away from it or something but it never worked and no one ever seemed to notice but at least they liked me.” Forrest finished her stream of consciousness and just sat there looking at Abe.
She hadn’t wanted to go through any of what was happening, but Abe at least was one of two people she was happy going through it with. There was some solace in that she supposed.
Her fingers awkwardly picked at her cast as she broke eye contact and looked away. She’d never told anyone any of it before. Not even Mikki or Charelle. She didn’t know what his response was going to be, that was the scariest part.
“Sorry I’m a fuck up.” She mumbled.
“No, it’s not your fault.” She said, reaching out and taking one of his hands with her good one. A cliched move but she didn’t know what else she could do. “I just don’t think...” She didn’t know a good way to say it. It all made sense though. Every time she had been in a similar situation her reaction was the same. The only plus to the current one was that she hadn’t freaked out and run away. She still wanted too, but she fought against that urge. “It’s just...” Words were hard.
There was no easy way to go about it but she’d made a deal with a pink elephant. She squeezed Abes hand a little and looked at his face. She didn’t want to do the same thing again.
“I’m asexual.”
Once she said it more words cane flooding out, like a dam in her mind had burst.
“I’ve just never been interested in sex every time I get close to it I’d freak out and run away I don’t know if I knew why or just decided to hide from it but I kinda felt it with Andy and now with you and I don’t know if it makes sense or not but I was worried I was broken or something because I’ve felt broken for so long because she left me and I’ve always wondered if that was my fault and there was something wrong with me and I think that’s why I’m the way I am because maybe I could get away from it or something but it never worked and no one ever seemed to notice but at least they liked me.” Forrest finished her stream of consciousness and just sat there looking at Abe.
She hadn’t wanted to go through any of what was happening, but Abe at least was one of two people she was happy going through it with. There was some solace in that she supposed.
Her fingers awkwardly picked at her cast as she broke eye contact and looked away. She’d never told anyone any of it before. Not even Mikki or Charelle. She didn’t know what his response was going to be, that was the scariest part.
“Sorry I’m a fuck up.” She mumbled.
Ever been so bad at sex your girlfriend realized she was ace? Okay, no, holy shit, that was stupid even for Abe. Goddamn, dude.
He squeezed Forrest's hand back, listened seriously to her as she spilled her feelings all over the place. What a hell of a way to figure out something about yourself, huh? He had to play his part, not be a terrible asshole. There was a vague sense of disappointment because, like, he was a horny bastard, but this seriously wasn't about him in the slightest. It hurt that she felt the need to apologize, though he didn't really understand why. At least he knew what the hell had happened with Andy now.
"You haven't done anything wrong, alright? Like, seriously. You haven't."
A decent person would've said something about how this didn't change anything, that he still loved her, but Abe was a coward so he settled for "I'm still here for you, nerd," his face unfreezing into a slight smile.
He squeezed Forrest's hand back, listened seriously to her as she spilled her feelings all over the place. What a hell of a way to figure out something about yourself, huh? He had to play his part, not be a terrible asshole. There was a vague sense of disappointment because, like, he was a horny bastard, but this seriously wasn't about him in the slightest. It hurt that she felt the need to apologize, though he didn't really understand why. At least he knew what the hell had happened with Andy now.
"You haven't done anything wrong, alright? Like, seriously. You haven't."
A decent person would've said something about how this didn't change anything, that he still loved her, but Abe was a coward so he settled for "I'm still here for you, nerd," his face unfreezing into a slight smile.
As they sat there and despite Abe’s words, Forrest couldn’t help feeling like she had really fucked it up.
Abe comforted her and said she had nothing to apologise for but unlike him she knew that wasn’t true.
But he smiled at her still and that was a comfort. Her fingers idly scratched at her cast before she spoke again.
“Can we go back to hugging? I liked that.”
Abe comforted her and said she had nothing to apologise for but unlike him she knew that wasn’t true.
But he smiled at her still and that was a comfort. Her fingers idly scratched at her cast before she spoke again.
“Can we go back to hugging? I liked that.”
"Hell yeah we can," Abe said, giving Forrest an affectionate headpat he hoped wouldn't be taken as like, condescending or some shit, but like, who the hell didn't like headpats?
"You wanna just cuddle and watch stupid shit on YouTube for a while?" He asked, stretching his arm across her back and gently pulling her closer. It felt like maybe there was more going on than Forrest had said - or maybe Abe was just being paranoid for no good goddamn reason. Whatever the case, the best thing he could do for his girlfriend was to just, like, be there and be comfortable.
"You wanna just cuddle and watch stupid shit on YouTube for a while?" He asked, stretching his arm across her back and gently pulling her closer. It felt like maybe there was more going on than Forrest had said - or maybe Abe was just being paranoid for no good goddamn reason. Whatever the case, the best thing he could do for his girlfriend was to just, like, be there and be comfortable.
“Yeah,” Forrest said as she nestled her head into part between Abes shoulder and chest. “That sounds good.”
She felt better after letting it out. There was still the thought that she had ruined everything in the back of her mind, but she ignored it. Realising/coming out as ace felt like a good thing. She did feel better, but there was a still a cloud overhead even despite that.
But then YouTube was turned on, and Forrest could forget about her worries for a little while and she was good at that.
((Forrest Quin - Disc 1 Complete))
She felt better after letting it out. There was still the thought that she had ruined everything in the back of her mind, but she ignored it. Realising/coming out as ace felt like a good thing. She did feel better, but there was a still a cloud overhead even despite that.
But then YouTube was turned on, and Forrest could forget about her worries for a little while and she was good at that.
((Forrest Quin - Disc 1 Complete))
Abe pulled his laptop onto him and angled the screen so Forrest could see; and things were back to something resembling normal. Maybe things were normal again - maybe her doubts had been the cause of all the weirdness between them in recent memory. Maybe he'd fucked up something entirely unrelated and he still hadn't realized it yet.
Whatever. Vine compilations had never failed him during times of need.
((They were still together, and things were pretty alright.))
Whatever. Vine compilations had never failed him during times of need.
((They were still together, and things were pretty alright.))