"Awful defensive there," Demetri shot back, idly patted the crotch of his trousers- emphasis on not doing so with any emphasis, he wasn't Micheal Jackson and this roomful of kids wasn't Neverland- to make sure the manjunk was shoved back to where it belonged, not seeing the light of day outside of the mother's basement he himself called a bedroom. "I mean, remember what happened the last time you got this defensive over something?" Demetri was the first one to say it, but come on. Everyone else had definitely been thinking it the moment Prescott had told them they'd be rooming with Mr. 'Nathan Coleman killed my firstborn' over here. "Or yeah, if your account is still deleted, I can refresh your memory."
Demetri would have liked, found a way to uninvite this fake news paleocon from the White House if it hadn't been Faith's authority.
Honestly, he completely intended to tell Faith what had happened in this room. She probably kept a better handle on her emails than Conman, and more insidiously, Faith was already used to this sort of unwavering sperg from him. Lucas B, meanwhile, would be in no way capable of owning it like the man he barely was (evidence still forthcoming). Watching him get defensive and fidgety would be pretty cathartic.
Demetri's eyes bounced. Jon was out of the picture- too much meat and Demetri was suddenly decidedly vegan, and when he caught Lucas' eye-
-and looked down- and very suddenly, Demetri could have chanted Tunak Tunak Tun and sworn off dairy forever. Vishnu Allah, or however it went.
Jon was staring out the window all of a sudden, and Demetri found himself joining him. Looked like an attractive prospect all of a sudden. As in: holy fuck, Lucas D. with the prophetic last name. Demetri was one swing shy off striking out. Just like him to fail to get past any of the bases.
Room 724: The USS Dekcuc (Read it Backwards)
"The room for crazy plot shenanigans with the badass GHHS boys" — Slam, 2019 (content warning — very lewd)
He couldn’t stop himself. Demetri’s gambit had worked like a charm, as the mention of the incident brought Lucas around to his full attention. He noticed as he stood up that Diaz had surrendered to this debauchery, but that mattered little by that point. He took no notice of the size of his schlong, nor did he pay enough attention to be repulsed.
Lucas would have shoved Demetri, if he was a violent person and Demetri wasn’t bigger than him. Or taller, that should have been. Because no way in hell was this button pushing asshole bigger.
His hands clenched into fists as the voice in his head told him to settle down, that this was hardly the first time someone had fired that shot at him. The bigger thing to do would be to sit back down, or walk out the room, or just do something that wasn’t rising to the bait. Rising to the bait was a bad idea, with a capital No This is a Disaster Stop Now.
But you know what? Fuck Demetri.
In one swift motion, he disregarded everything he’d said in that conversation up to that point, and became the fish lured by the worm onto the hook. Fly down, one swift yank, and Lucas Brady joined the fray.
“Satisfied? This is what the bigger man looks like.”
Lucas would have shoved Demetri, if he was a violent person and Demetri wasn’t bigger than him. Or taller, that should have been. Because no way in hell was this button pushing asshole bigger.
His hands clenched into fists as the voice in his head told him to settle down, that this was hardly the first time someone had fired that shot at him. The bigger thing to do would be to sit back down, or walk out the room, or just do something that wasn’t rising to the bait. Rising to the bait was a bad idea, with a capital No This is a Disaster Stop Now.
But you know what? Fuck Demetri.
In one swift motion, he disregarded everything he’d said in that conversation up to that point, and became the fish lured by the worm onto the hook. Fly down, one swift yank, and Lucas Brady joined the fray.
“Satisfied? This is what the bigger man looks like.”
Yep, barely a second later and the Hallmark moment existential depression was really starting to sink in. Somewhere out that window there were men with dicks of a size that didn't cause Demetri to contemplate the void, but Demetri was on this side of that window. His self flattery that endowment just meant pain for the girl rung a little more hollow when it was cock three of four. But he still kept telling himself that all the same. In such a state he almost didn't notice Lucas B was doing anything productive with his life, and certainly didn't pay such rarities much in the way of attention.
But something was being said, and Demetri caught the tail end of it. Just enough to be infected by morbid curiosity and be sure that even the cuck supreme also packed more heat than him, and to idly glance over all while expecting the worst.
Well.
"You and me, B?"
and the
echoed,
"We're not so different."
Demetri went back to looking out the window, still sour expression unchanged. It wasn't a victory that brought a smile to Demetri's face by any means, but he could still feel a little vindictive. It was some small closure in the fact that there was a man out there who really was as big a loser as he himself was.
But something was being said, and Demetri caught the tail end of it. Just enough to be infected by morbid curiosity and be sure that even the cuck supreme also packed more heat than him, and to idly glance over all while expecting the worst.
Well.
"You and me, B?"
and the
echoed,"We're not so different."
Demetri went back to looking out the window, still sour expression unchanged. It wasn't a victory that brought a smile to Demetri's face by any means, but he could still feel a little vindictive. It was some small closure in the fact that there was a man out there who really was as big a loser as he himself was.
V8 Vibes:
V7 Vibes:
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Lucas looked down at his cock on public display, then back at Demetri’s. Any disgust he’d felt about the male equipment had evaporated as he focused much more on getting an accurate comparison going. As far as he could see, he was definitely the bigger man here. That and Demetri’s just looked weird.
He grabbed the tip, pulling it up straight to get a better judgement. He was definitely the bigger man. Maybe it was just hard to tell for sure with the distance and the angles being as they were. He looked between them once again, trying to size up the lengths with a no-contact finger stretch comparison.
Damn it, it wasn’t working.
He looked at Demetri, still staring out the window, and edged in closer. Not close enough that there was any risk in hell that their respective tackle would come within a foot of each other, but just close enough that he could check properly. As long as they didn’t touch, it was ok and this was just to put Demetri in his place. Nothing gay about it.
Regrettably, all the blood that a wound-up Lucas was pumping was going somewhere other than to flushing his face. He knew he liked girls, so why the hell was he starting to get a boner? He wanted to smack it down, because even if Diaz had a boner (didn’t know why, didn’t want to know), this really wasn’t the time and place. But if he started smacking his dick around, then that would just be uncomfortable for everyone.
Instead, he decided to just be thankful for the extra boost that he didn’t need. Now, Lucas Brady was a shower rather than a grower, but every little bit helped when it came to winning the important things in life.
“See? Bigger man. Right guys?”
He looked at Jon and Diaz, who in that moment had suddenly become a lot more valuable and less unwanted to him. Just so long as they could see straight, that was.
Straight being the keyword, because again, this situation was perfectly heterosexual.
Lucas looked down at his cock on public display, then back at Demetri’s. Any disgust he’d felt about the male equipment had evaporated as he focused much more on getting an accurate comparison going. As far as he could see, he was definitely the bigger man here. That and Demetri’s just looked weird.
He grabbed the tip, pulling it up straight to get a better judgement. He was definitely the bigger man. Maybe it was just hard to tell for sure with the distance and the angles being as they were. He looked between them once again, trying to size up the lengths with a no-contact finger stretch comparison.
Damn it, it wasn’t working.
He looked at Demetri, still staring out the window, and edged in closer. Not close enough that there was any risk in hell that their respective tackle would come within a foot of each other, but just close enough that he could check properly. As long as they didn’t touch, it was ok and this was just to put Demetri in his place. Nothing gay about it.
Regrettably, all the blood that a wound-up Lucas was pumping was going somewhere other than to flushing his face. He knew he liked girls, so why the hell was he starting to get a boner? He wanted to smack it down, because even if Diaz had a boner (didn’t know why, didn’t want to know), this really wasn’t the time and place. But if he started smacking his dick around, then that would just be uncomfortable for everyone.
Instead, he decided to just be thankful for the extra boost that he didn’t need. Now, Lucas Brady was a shower rather than a grower, but every little bit helped when it came to winning the important things in life.
“See? Bigger man. Right guys?”
He looked at Jon and Diaz, who in that moment had suddenly become a lot more valuable and less unwanted to him. Just so long as they could see straight, that was.
Straight being the keyword, because again, this situation was perfectly heterosexual.
-
MethodicalSlacker
- Posts: 1231
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 2:18 am
- Location: Here And There Along The Echo
- Contact:
Lucas scrutinized Brady and Demetri's penises. It was hard to tell if one was explicitly bigger than the other, just because of the angle of the light in the room. Real fuckin' excuse to not have an opinion, right there. Demetri had a whole host of hair down there, which made things especially difficult to read.
"Does anyone have a ruler?" Lucas asked, looking away from the two dicks and searching the room to find if anyone else had whipped out a measuring stick while he wasn't looking, somehow. It was sort of unreasonable to believe that anyone would have one of those, since there wasn't any reason to overcrowd one's belongings with that kind of crap. Unless you brought a tape measure to examine one of the monuments or something, because you were some kind of nerd. In that case, then yeah, maybe, but as it stood he didn't think any of them would have done that.
Either way, props to Brady, for once. He was doing the only reasonable thing and directly calling Demetri on his bullshit. There was no reason for Lucas to participate in that. It was clear where he stood on the Room 724 Dick Length Power Rankings. And that place was at the top.
"Just from eyeballing it, I'd give Brady the edge," he added, "but it's hard to tell."
"Does anyone have a ruler?" Lucas asked, looking away from the two dicks and searching the room to find if anyone else had whipped out a measuring stick while he wasn't looking, somehow. It was sort of unreasonable to believe that anyone would have one of those, since there wasn't any reason to overcrowd one's belongings with that kind of crap. Unless you brought a tape measure to examine one of the monuments or something, because you were some kind of nerd. In that case, then yeah, maybe, but as it stood he didn't think any of them would have done that.
Either way, props to Brady, for once. He was doing the only reasonable thing and directly calling Demetri on his bullshit. There was no reason for Lucas to participate in that. It was clear where he stood on the Room 724 Dick Length Power Rankings. And that place was at the top.
"Just from eyeballing it, I'd give Brady the edge," he added, "but it's hard to tell."
/ 
- 
/ 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- "What? No fucking way."
Demetri glanced back into the reality of their particularly sailors-out-at-sea situation and- whoops, mistake. Lucas B had gotten closer, had gotten his morning glory out... and had started to get a boner? Looked way harder than it should have.
"Look, we don't need a ruler, we're the same. Unless we want me to fish out my preciously protected virginity again."
It was like, fuck. Really? Rulers? Lucas Brady's dick that close to his face? Demetri had this sensation, an incredibly rare sensation that he almost couldn't identify, that he'd leaned a bit too hard into his own joke. How had this even started out, Magic the Gathering and an argument about how cucked Canon made the liberals feel? And now Demetri could look literally nowhere in this room without seeing the supermarket selection of man meat on display.
Also, the increasingly sinking, shrinking, sensation that he really was... No. No way, it couldn't be.
Demetri glanced back into the reality of their particularly sailors-out-at-sea situation and- whoops, mistake. Lucas B had gotten closer, had gotten his morning glory out... and had started to get a boner? Looked way harder than it should have.
"Look, we don't need a ruler, we're the same. Unless we want me to fish out my preciously protected virginity again."
It was like, fuck. Really? Rulers? Lucas Brady's dick that close to his face? Demetri had this sensation, an incredibly rare sensation that he almost couldn't identify, that he'd leaned a bit too hard into his own joke. How had this even started out, Magic the Gathering and an argument about how cucked Canon made the liberals feel? And now Demetri could look literally nowhere in this room without seeing the supermarket selection of man meat on display.
Also, the increasingly sinking, shrinking, sensation that he really was... No. No way, it couldn't be.
V8 Vibes:
V7 Vibes:
Lucas had already gone to grab his ruler when Demetri protested, because he was some kind of nerd. The extremely well-prepared kind. He paused only to put his dick back in his pants, because walking across the room with your schlong swaying in the breeze was a bit awkward. Almost as awkward as trying to shove a boner back into your pants in the middle of a wang measuring contest in an inconspicuous manner.
Just as soon as he’d stored it, he’d grabbed his ruler and was back over by Demetri, which meant he had to pull it out again. The personal feelings towards the public display of pubes were still irrelevant, because he was dead set on winning this.
“There, six inches.” He announced, adding an extra half inch for good measure. It certainly looked about that, and five inches was the national average, so he was above average. Good for him.
He held out the ruler that had been parallel to his penis over to Demetri, still holding his six inches of victory in his other hand (the other two penises meant nothing at this point). “Go on then. You started it.”
Just as soon as he’d stored it, he’d grabbed his ruler and was back over by Demetri, which meant he had to pull it out again. The personal feelings towards the public display of pubes were still irrelevant, because he was dead set on winning this.
“There, six inches.” He announced, adding an extra half inch for good measure. It certainly looked about that, and five inches was the national average, so he was above average. Good for him.
He held out the ruler that had been parallel to his penis over to Demetri, still holding his six inches of victory in his other hand (the other two penises meant nothing at this point). “Go on then. You started it.”
Aw fuck, dick touching by the transitive property. Demetri grabbed the ruler with some playacted trepidation, making a show of gingerly grabbing the farthest bit of the opposite end from zero inches as possible. Lucas had pretty much added on a half inch or something, good for him. Still didn't mean...
He slapped the ruler right up against the shaft. Counted. Murmured something, adjusted. Pushed it back. In, a bit.
Grabbed the tip, tugged. From the base, that was how it worked. Sweated a bit.
Had to clear out the bristly hairs. Obviously they were blocking the true base of his dick. Swiping with his hand. Trying to tug away the worst bits of the bush. Looked like he was outright jacking it already. Sweep left, sweep right. He was clear. The ruler would definitely budge a little further now.
Not so. He had to push. His focus had long since tunneled down. Stupid fucking piece of wood. What was it telling him, that he was-?
Couldn't be. He ruthlessly appraised the ruler with his good eye. Flipped it side to side. Making super sure that he was using freedom units. That was the right side of the ruler. He tried again. Tight against the balls, up until he could just fucking confirm that-
((5 inches, pregame concluded))
He slapped the ruler right up against the shaft. Counted. Murmured something, adjusted. Pushed it back. In, a bit.
Grabbed the tip, tugged. From the base, that was how it worked. Sweated a bit.
Had to clear out the bristly hairs. Obviously they were blocking the true base of his dick. Swiping with his hand. Trying to tug away the worst bits of the bush. Looked like he was outright jacking it already. Sweep left, sweep right. He was clear. The ruler would definitely budge a little further now.
Not so. He had to push. His focus had long since tunneled down. Stupid fucking piece of wood. What was it telling him, that he was-?
Couldn't be. He ruthlessly appraised the ruler with his good eye. Flipped it side to side. Making super sure that he was using freedom units. That was the right side of the ruler. He tried again. Tight against the balls, up until he could just fucking confirm that-
((5 inches, pregame concluded))
V8 Vibes:
V7 Vibes: