Today I'm Dirty

[Courtography]

(Jessica Murphy continued from WonderWander)

It'd been nearly two days since she'd seen Garrett.  Her vomit-stained shirt and her pants hung a bit looser on her now. She was hungry, but had been limiting herself to one bar a day, despite knowing that her body wanted more than that. She didn't want to run out though.

Jessica had spent the rest of the day where she'd met Garrett traveling, she'd moved past the area she thought was the homestead, and then spent the rest of her time then in the woods. Her shirt had a small hole on the right side of her belly now, from when she'd fallen in the forest, luckily she only got a small scratch on herself, which was now covered with a bandage from one of the two first aid-kits she had.

After the woods had become a dangerzone the next day she'd made her way along the road for awhile until she reached the amusement park. The roller coaster was okay, although she'd stayed clear of the fallen cars, she wasn't sure why, but she had a hunch.

She had been half tempted to scout out the rest of the amusement park, but she held back. She didn't particularly want to meet anyone else, especially with how things with Garrett had turned out.

In the morning though, she had broken into her food bar earlier than she had before. Half of it was gone before she forced herself to stop, her stomach contorting painfully as she put the other half back in her bag. She needed more food, but where could she find it?

She stumbled as she stood up, dizziness setting in.

She needed to focus.

[Riki]

[Aileen Aurora Abdallah & Owen Kay, continued from Snack Eater]

The rest of the day after Aileen and Owen explored the Haunted Mansion was actually relatively successfully. They moved to the east at first, seeking out the sea. However, the water was salty. Aileen had to force herself not to drink it. It felt as if the waves on the shore were laughing at her, teasing her. As if they enjoyed the cruelity of something as important as water being stained by salt.

Thus they returned to the amusement park. And there they found a little ray of light. Or to be more precise, a small barrel standing at the side of a former food stand. It was overgrown with moss, but within it was water. The rain from the day before, Aileen assumed. Not much, not enough to keep their bodies healthy. But enough to keep their thirst down for a while.

The night was peaceful, yet disheartening. There were dark clouds forming, but there was no rain, much to Aileen's disappointment. Worse yet, the hunger made it difficult to sleep. Even though the mere act of being awake was a burden akin to carrying a heavy boulder, the searing emptiness filling her kept her away from sleep's embrace.

When it was morning, she wasn't aware whether she slept at all. She felt more awake, but maybe that was just the natural madness following sleep deprivation setting in. Owen did sleep. At least he appeared to be. His breath was slow and steady, his eyes were closed and Aileen observed him for a while. Eventually, she poked him and as he opened his eyes Aileen told him to wait as she searched the area.

Owen closed his eyes soon again and Aileen left the save food stand they spent the night in. She took the golf club and her walking stick. Maybe there were other people in the near area, silently hoping to find a peaceful night under the roller coaster looming over the park.

Maybe they had food and maybe Aileen could take some of it.

In fact, Aileen walked four steps before she detected a person standing nearby. She had trouble with properly recognizing them. Partly because of the distance, partly because her concentration was very low.

"...Hey! Do you have food for us?"

She walked towards the person.

[Courtography]

"No..." Jessica said absentmindedly as she tried to focus on the question being posed.

"No." she repeated more firmly as she saw the golf club in Aileen's hand.

The word "us" would have worried Jessica more, but she was more focused on the one person immediately in front of her. The question seemed almost threatening. The golf club caught her eye again as she stepped back, swinging her bag behind her. Maybe more than threatening.

"Stop," she half whispered, half commanded, as Aileen continued to approach her.

She was afraid.

[Riki]

...No?

"Aw, c'mon."

Aileen could feel something within her stirring up. Raising to rage, telling her to unleash all her frustration in a cloud of violence. However, that something couldn't really grow to critical mass. It was, without doubt, present. Yet it did not take control of Aileen.

Certainly not because she managed to learn some self-control. It was more due to the fact that in the past five days her mind quickly learned that bouts of anger and violence rarely worked. Granted, these were painful lessons, perhaps even important ones, but they were built on the shattering of the delusional concept of Aileen. Something that Aileen could have done without.

"Why the fuck do you let us starve? Do you have some stupid grudge against me? If... then I'm sorry, yes?"

Aileen's eyes darkened, she pointed at her bad leg.

"Or are you one of these people?"

[Pippi]

Owen had managed sleep. Somehow. He himself wasn't entirely sure how. Maybe it was exhaustion as a result of having walked to the coast and back on top of all the other walking they'd had to do. Maybe he'd managed it after finally getting a bit of water inside of him; moss filtered rainwater, to be true, but water nonetheless. Whatever the cause, after a few hours of staring up at the food stand roof and the cloud cluttered sky beyond it, his eyes had fluttered shut and he'd gotten some sleep.

After all too soon, a poke in the ribs woke Owen from his slumber. Aileen was going to explore, telling him to stay where he was, and Owen was more than willing to get a little more shut-eye in the relative safety of the food stand. For a good few minutes, he felt warm and comfortable, almost as if he was back in his bed back at home. Then the pain in his stomach began to flare up, and the reality of the situation wormed its way back into his mind.

Blearily, Owen pushed his glasses up and rubbed at his eyes. There was still a little water in the barrel, if he remembered correctly, but no food in the food stand. Unless they found somebody, and soon, then there would be a serious problem. Owen didn't even want to think about it, but it kept pressing at his mind constantly, along with everything else.

Owen sat up, yawning, trying to just... do something, and take his mind away from everything. As he did, he could hear voices. One of which was slightly unfamiliar, the other was clearly Aileen's, and Owen's heart sank as he realised how raised it was. Hurriedly, he stood up, slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed the table leg, hoping Aileen had taken the golf club and that someone hadn't stolen it.

"Aileen!"

It didn't take long to find the two; they were a few steps away. The person Aileen was talking to was Jessica, swim team and cheerleading Jessica, if Owen remembered correctly. She didn't seem like the type of person who'd annoy Aileen, but, well... this was the island. Everything was different.

"Jessica." Owen said, nodding at her. "What's going on? Everything... everything alright?"

[Courtography]

Jessica glared as Aileen tried to guilt trip her, a variety of obscenities going through her brain. She was about to tell Aileen what she thought as Owen walked in.

Jessica turned and her glare intensified as Owen asked her to explain the situation. Really, he wanted to ask her what was going on? She wasn't the one with the golf club, threatening and guilt tripping people over food.

"No it's not," she got quieter for the next word, "fucking alright."

She got her strength in her voice back for the next bit. "Because fucking Aileen thinks she's the only one starving, because," her voice turned with a heavy layer of condescension, "apparently she isn't smart enough to realize we all weren't given much food."

Her gaze went back to Aileen, her eyes still glaring, but a slight smile getting on her face.

Her move.

[Riki]

Staring at Jessica with widenend eyes, Aileen tried to find an appropiate reaction.

This was the moment she should have started yelling, not? Get angry. Scream. Curse. Feel as if she could ignite the air just by being furious enough. Acutally, no. That moment has passed. If she had the energy to confront this stress situation like she'd usually do, she'd already have started a screming contest.

For a few moments, Aileen wanted to throw the golf club away, sink unto the ground and just sit there until she rotted away.

Then she looked at Owen. He heard her, he was worried and thus he came to help her. That was enough to help her. She knew now how to react, knew how to handle the situation in the most diplomatic way.

"Either you give us some of your food.

Or I'll kill you."

Aileen smiled.

[Pippi]

Oh, God.

Was this how every encounter with another human being going to pan out? With open hostility, insults, everything? It had been pretty clear that things weren't going to be alright by Aileen's raised voice and the posture of the two girls, but Jessica's reply to Owen made it painfully, transparently clear. From what he could gather, Aileen had wanted food from Jessica, and she had taken offense to that.

Owen had rubbed his forehead then, trying to think as quickly as possible and recover this situation. Sure, Jessica had limited supplies, but they had none at all. Surely, if they explained their situation she'd understand, right?

Aileen spoke four words and Owen felt as though time had frozen.

He turned to look at Aileen, eyes wide with shock and fear. He thought he whispered "What?" at her, but his voice felt like it had completely vanished. Owen looked into Aileen's eyes, trying to judge whether she was serious or not, whether she would actually follow up on her threat. He couldn't tell. He had absolutely no idea what Aileen was thinking.

Owen quickly looked back at Jessica, fear now apparent in his face. He had to do something, right now, before anything kicked off. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to convince Jessica to give some food to them before she bolted... or worse.

"L-look, please, Jessica..." Owen began, nervously taking side glances at Aileen all the while. "We... we don't have anything except what w-we're holding. No food... nothing. P-please, trust me... we won't hurt you..."

Owen shot a meaningful glance at Aileen. He wasn't going to let her harm Jessica, not if he could help it. If he had to hold Aileen back with all his strength, just to stop there being any more bloodshed, well... he'd do what he had to do.

[Courtography]

Jessica took a single step back at Aileen's threat. She tuned out Owen's begging. Just because Owen was willing to play good beggar to Aileen's murderous cripple didn't mean she was going to pay them mind. Wait, murderous cripple?

The thought occurred to her, what was stopping her from running away? As far as she could tell, nothing. She didn't say a word as she started to run away from the two crazies and from the roller coaster. Her muscles hurt, just reinforcing how much she needed the food they wanted from her.

She slowed down once she thought she'd gotten far enough away, but she kept jogging for awhile as she went as far from the amusement park as she could.

There wasn't anything worth it there anyway.

(Jessica Murphy in Everybody Looking For Something)

[Riki]

"Huh, that didn't work out as good as I thought it would."

She looked after the running girl, a glimmer of surprise in Aileen's eyes. Then she scratched her head and turned around to Owen.

He was playing the 'good cop' to Aileen's 'bad cop', so to say. That he would seek a non-confrontational solution to this conflict was obvious, but nonetheless Aileen had some worries about his view on her now.

"I wasn't going to really kill her. Just thought that some threats could do a fucking thing.  But apparently not."

To be fair, she did seriously play with the thought of killing Jessica, but she knew that she better saved her energy for someone like Travis or Hansel or Summer.

[Pippi]

"J-Jessica! Jessica, wait, hold on! Just..."

Owen had moved forwards only a step when Jessica started running. He'd almost been ready to chase after her, no matter how far she went, but that idea quickly evaporated. Sure, he could chase her, but for how long? Jessica was a swimmer, and more than likely extremely proficient in stamina and exercise over long distances. They were both starved and sleep deprived, but she would still have an advantage over him. He'd also be leaving Aileen on her own; she could hardly chase after them both wither leg.

And what image would Jessica have of him if he did run after her? Somebody so desperate for other peoples' supplies that he'd chase his classmates for them? Somebody like Hansel? No, following Jessica was a lost cause. As for the other girl who was standing here, however...

Owen sighed as he turned to look at Aileen, a pained expression on his face. He hoped she'd have some sort of explanation for her actions, and she didn't disappoint. She had just wanted to threaten Jessica in order to get her to hand her stuff over. Owen shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"I... I want to believe that..." he muttered.

No, that wasn't what he wanted to say, not at all. This was the only alliance he had, Aileen was the only person who'd consistently been at his side for these past few... God, how long had they been on the island? Whatever, that was irrelevant right now. Owen was, justifiably he thought, in a sour mood, and he was sure Aileen had picked up on that already.

"Sorry... sorry, I do believe that, honestly. I trust you, you know that... it's... it's just... threatening people and... a-and all that... You know... you know who else did that? Hansel. Summer. We are not them... right?"

Owen sighed again, gazing off into the distance in the direction Jessica had disappeared into. Even as he said that, he knew that this idea of staying 'righteous' and pleading to the kindness of their classmates for food was an idea with a very limited time limit. His stomach already felt like it was gnawing at his insides. Maybe Jessica would have handed some food over if they'd negotiated with her. Undoubtedly, other people wouldn't. Unless they found somebody who would... then threats and violence might be the only way for them to survive.

Trying to prevent the growing unease from showing on his face, Owen looked back at Aileen.

"So... um... what now, then?"

[Riki]

He wanted to believe her?

These words hurt. He wanted, but could not. Did that mean that he didn't trust Aileen anymore? Panic began to surge within Aileen but then Owen explained himself further. The relief was visible on her face. However, he compared her to Hansel and Summer.

Owen said that they were not like them, but the comparsion stood in the room now. Aileen averted her eyes from Owen, staring at the ground.

No. Whatever people said. Whatever that once seemed stable was cast into doubt. She knew that she was nothing like those murderous bastards. Hansel attacked people weaker than him. Claire, Kyle, her and Owen. In her eyes, that made him a coward. And Summer, well, Summer was insane. Even thinking about the image from Naomi's death was making Aileen feel uneasy. She'd do much to survive, but never reach the depths of these people.

"What now... well, our options are 'accepting death' and 'continue'. I guess we can wait for the announcements and then move onward if you think that is good idea."

[Pippi]

Aileen was averting her eyes, trying to avoid looking at Owen. For his part, Owen scratched his right arm with his left hand, then his chin. Fuzzy. His facial hair hadn't had any chance to be tamed on the island. Probably looking like shit, too. His glasses were just as smeared with dirt and dust as they usually were. Now seemed to be a good chance to clean them; not that his clothes were in any better of a state. They'd just be getting worse in the days to come, too.

It was odd, really, how much there was to think about in these moments of calm and quiet. Now that there were no threats, nobody getting attacked. Owen could think about all the mundane things, all the things he took for granted back at home. He could think about soldiers' descriptions of the First World War; the long periods of tension with nothing happening interspersed with bloodshed. He could think about Aileen's question; 'accept death' or 'move forwards'.

He could think about what would happen if they did move forwards. They had essentially eliminated a rescue as a viable option by now, if Naomi's theory had been correct. Escape... well, they'd barely considered it. How many people had managed to escape in the four previous versions of this insane experiment? Two? Three? Less than that? Unless their collars miraculously ceased to function, that was a no go.

That left fighting until the end. That meant killing somebody, somewhere down the line. That would mean that, eventually, Owen and Aileen would be the last two people alive. Then what?

"... That sounds like a plan..." Owen had been silent for several seconds following Aileen's proposal, trying to keep his voice sounding natural, trying not to let the oncoming dread show on his face.

"So... we listen to the announcements, and... and then move somewhere else... find someone... ask them for food. If that doesn't work, we... um... we might not have any choice but to threaten them... if needs be..."

Owen sighed, looked down at the ground, then into Aileen's eyes, hoping she'd look back.

"The most important... the most important thing right now is sticking together... right?"

That feeling of dread was showing no signs of diminishing.

[Riki]

Grey. That was the color Aileen saw when she looked back into his eyes. She recalled them having a bit of blue in them, but now - the light? the mood? - they somehow seemed to be far more grey then usual. And her own eyes? Have they lost their radiance?

...yeah, sticking together. As long as we continue being together, we'll... well, maybe we won't be fine, but at least we won't lose ourself, right?"

Great, Aileen started to explore her poetic side once again. Anyway, they at least had a plan and they had each other. And to be honest, Aileen felt optimistic enough to think that the next person they would meet was friendly.

Or enough of a jackass that Owen didn't object.

[Aileen Aurora Abdallah, continued elsewhere]

[Pippi]

"... Right..."

They wouldn't lose themselves? Owen felt like he'd lost himself days ago. His mind was going places he'd never thought, or hoped, it would go to. He agreed with Aileen that they'd be fine, but he had no way of securing that. He had already figured out that mugging somebody was almost an inevitability.

But he hadn't convinced himself that he was doing the right thing. The thought of hurting somebody, anybody, made him feel awful, even if it would be to get food, even if it would be to live for just another day. He didn't want Aileen to get hurt any more than she already was, and she had stuck with him all this time. That was them. That was their choice.

Maybe he wasn't lost yet, but he was definitely sinking.

((Owen Kay, continued in Huddle))