In Cups of Coffee, In Strife

[randomness]

((Jordan Green continued from Gift for the Darkness))

She was dead.

Just like that.

That was an hour, several hours ago? Sometime in the past, at least, and he barely cared how long it had been since then.

He'd tried not to think about her, not to understand what was going on, because he knew he would just stew over it, rethinking it again and again, but his mind wouldn't let him. He couldn't help it.

And he'd ended up back here, the same stupid slope that he'd woken up on that first day, and he had no idea what to do. He couldn't do anything about Hazel. Or more specifically, he wouldn't. He didn't even know her killer, who he'd seen momentarily in the darkness, he didn't recognise her, and he wouldn't until her name came up with Danya's voice.

Hazel had helped him so much and he'd do nothing for her. Leaving her dead there was a mistake but he didn't dare go back anymore. He could almost still feel the light touch from earlier, and he couldn't understand what it meant. Her and Jay and the whole high school drama thing that he'd done his best to keep out of despite being in the drama club.

And yet he was stupidly calm. No, not calm, something else darker than calm, there was no way this could be called calm, by anyone, not with the voice inside his head screaming as if it would rip itself apart.

He needed someone to talk to. Someone to console him apart from the overbearing thoughts running inside of his head. But it would be too convenient wouldn't it, for someone to come and help him out right now.

Besides, not everyone was like him, afraid and confused, and unwilling to do anything about it.

He'd lived far longer than he had expected, and he wasn't even able to feel happy about it.

All he wanted to do was to break down and let everything out, but he couldn't. He was stopping himself and he didn't know why. Even now, his mind borderline frantic, the tears refused to flow.

He couldn't think of anything to do anymore, and suddenly, half his mind was made up.  It was all wrong and he knew that he was on the verge of doing something stupid, and yet for some reason he wasn't stopping himself.

The slope looked steep, going all the way down to the ocean. There were rocks too.

He wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to do it.

He could already hear Danya's voice mocking him.

He shouldn't.

He would step away from the slopes.

He would-

With a sudden surge of emotion he leapt.

"What?"

A sound more of a gasp than an actual word.

The only thing that cut into his confusion was the blur of pain.

B039: JORDAN GREEN - DECEASED