Nessy Guthrie

[baby_g†]

The light shined through the window, waking Nessy out of her coma. Nessy had woken up, oddly sprawled half on her duffle bag and half on the floor, like someone had just thrown her there without a second thought.

She wiped her eyes, and slowly rolled on her tummy, stretched out and raised to her knees, sitting back on her feet. She pulled her bag towards her, and her little backpack to her side. Nessy remembered them saying something about... island... collars... "Boom!"... death... and basically it all ment she had no way to survive.

Let's face it... She heard her mind say. As much as you want to survive, you have nothing to go home to. You're worthless. You're practically already died. You want to be carried out of this, and there's no way in hell that can happen. There's a lack of cranes on this island. You might as well just off yourself right here... that's right.... reach into your bag... take the weapon... do it. No one's going to miss you...

"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!" She screamed. 'It' was in her head again. Furiously she began to pull at her hair, trying so hard to get it out of her head, cursing herself like a soldier. Yet, in spite of her efforts to stop the voice that burdened her, she couldn't stop her hand from searching through her bag for her weapon.

Nessy could see it all now. Someone would walk in, see her dead body on the floor, check for anything like food and water, maybe even kick her, and then just leave. If she wasn't anything special in her life, she doubted she'd be anything at all in her death. Nessy's eyes we shut tight, and her jaw was clenched so hard shut that she could feel a headache coming on. She wasn't good with pain. Her hand finally found it, hitting herself as hard as she could in the head with it.

Instantly after the first blow, she opened her eyes to her astonishment. Maybe this was a joke. Maybe it was a mistake. This couldn't be her WEAPON?!

Don't you see?? THEY want to kill you. Why would they allow you the pleasure of doing it yourself, when they can think of a Much better way to kill you.

Nessy couldn't do anything but stare at what she held in her hands. It looked old. They couldn't even have the decency to give her something new. It looked ratted and faded. What did it matter. Even if she had a Real weapon, she'd be killed in a second and it would be taken from her. At least, with this, maybe someone would take pity on her. Maybe someone would take her along with them, even if she died in the end, at least she would have made a friend along with way. Maybe there'd be someone like her here. 'Maybe' was all she had.

"But come on now... a OVEN MIT?! You got to be joshing me here!"

Yet, 'It' was back again. Go ahead. run. cry for help. You're Always crying. Why can't you just do something with yourself. No wonder no one likes you. Come on... let me out. Let me help you.. I can help.

"Go away!" She yelled once more. It was gone, that was, for now. Nessy lay back on the floor, using the oven mit as best she could as a pillow. Collecting her thoughts, she pulled out her map and tried to find the easiest way to get around. Stroking her necklace that her mom gave her on her 13th birthday, she imagined herself as the butterfly that hung from the chain. If there was one thing she could do before she died, it would be to fly.

In Nessy's mind, (where she wondered often due to her lack of a social life) she figured that flying was the best thing because it was freedom. Butterflies always ment new beginnings, and being able to start over. When you think of flying, it's like the ultimate freedom. When she thought of Heaven, she could see the angels flying around, free and happy. She longed for it so bad. She just wanted to accepted somewhere, where she could be free and not made fun of. Not shunned.

After a while of reflection and contemplating, Nessy decided that she would head towards the river, and follow it as best she could. That was her choice and it wasn't going to change that. Nessy packed up her things, shoving her small backpack into her duffle back, slinging it over her shoulder. Due to her little extra 'love' she had, the bag didn't feel all that heavy.

Leaving the house behind, Nessy made her way towards the river.