Lucas had scooted himself toward Ophelia. She decided to mirror his actions. She put her feet to the ground, and patted down her dress. She didn't slide over to him because her thighs were effectively glued to the bench so she had to lift herself slightly and glide toward Lucas. Ophelia was now next to him. Her body wasn't touching his, but if she were to spread her legs, their knees would bang up.
She wrapped her arms around him. It wasn't a sudden and surprising motion, she was hesitant. It was a clumsy act of love. She had hugged her mom this morning but this was different. She never really initiated hugs in the past, and especially someone that wasn't her grandmother. She pressed herself against him softly. The words came out of her softly, the same foot was still pressing on her chest. It made her cry.
"If you were to kill yourself, I'd be sad."
It was an understatement.
Sunflower Sutra
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MethodicalSlacker
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He wondered if now would be a good time to kiss her.
Lucas sat still for a few moments before wrapping his arms around her too and leaning his head on her shoulder. She said that if he killed himself it would make her sad. How? In what way? She'd get over it and move on. Nobody would really be sad for very long. He hadn't actually done anything important. He didn't understand what it was that she meant. He felt awkward and stiff. He knew what he wanted but he didn't know how to go about getting it. Gotcha. Her arms felt warm. He could feel the rest of her too, and that felt warm as well.
Warm, but distant. There was something unattainable about the way the hug made him feel. Longing, or something like it. A desire to no longer be alone, ever again. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was relief.
"Don't worry," he said quietly, feeling her warm tears roll down onto his shoulder sleeve, "I'm safe. Don't worry."
Lucas sat still for a few moments before wrapping his arms around her too and leaning his head on her shoulder. She said that if he killed himself it would make her sad. How? In what way? She'd get over it and move on. Nobody would really be sad for very long. He hadn't actually done anything important. He didn't understand what it was that she meant. He felt awkward and stiff. He knew what he wanted but he didn't know how to go about getting it. Gotcha. Her arms felt warm. He could feel the rest of her too, and that felt warm as well.
Warm, but distant. There was something unattainable about the way the hug made him feel. Longing, or something like it. A desire to no longer be alone, ever again. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was relief.
"Don't worry," he said quietly, feeling her warm tears roll down onto his shoulder sleeve, "I'm safe. Don't worry."
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- Ophelia sniffed back some of her tears. She didn't enjoy this, but she felt it was necessary. It was required for their relationship, she had to make it clear, both out of fear and love. She questioned her feelings, she could just leave. She never needed to be someone's friend, but now she felt the need to be someone's girl. It felt weird, but she didn't dislike it.
Ophelia was confused, she had planned to do this around college, not in high school. She didn't felt that much of a connexion with her peers because she had to see them through their worse years, leading to her having a cynical outlook on any possible relationships. She wanted to wait until everyone was done with these years that were called adolescence before attaching herself to someone. Perhaps, in her attempt to out-mature her peers, she only prove to be an immature child playing grown up.
Lucas felt warm. She also felt weird about that. Ophelia never enjoyed physical contacts, so feeling someone's heat go through her was a new sensation. Even if the scarred kitten scratches and bites, their loving owner hugs it, giving them love. Was she the kitten or the owner? She was playing both roles at once, momentarily switching between the owner then the pet as she held herself and Lucas in place. She had two fragments of her playing a game of cat-and-mouse, and for a moment, they had a truce.
"And if one day, you are not, feel free to call me. Okay? Promise?"
Ophelia was confused, she had planned to do this around college, not in high school. She didn't felt that much of a connexion with her peers because she had to see them through their worse years, leading to her having a cynical outlook on any possible relationships. She wanted to wait until everyone was done with these years that were called adolescence before attaching herself to someone. Perhaps, in her attempt to out-mature her peers, she only prove to be an immature child playing grown up.
Lucas felt warm. She also felt weird about that. Ophelia never enjoyed physical contacts, so feeling someone's heat go through her was a new sensation. Even if the scarred kitten scratches and bites, their loving owner hugs it, giving them love. Was she the kitten or the owner? She was playing both roles at once, momentarily switching between the owner then the pet as she held herself and Lucas in place. She had two fragments of her playing a game of cat-and-mouse, and for a moment, they had a truce.
"And if one day, you are not, feel free to call me. Okay? Promise?"
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MethodicalSlacker
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Lucas did not answer, but he did nod, which he hoped was felt. He was looking up at a tree some feet away, at a branch that was swinging up and down. There was no breeze, and he wondered what it was that was causing the thing to do the thing. He was ready to not be sad anymore. He was ready for this hug to end. He tightened his embrace.
Did Ophelia think that his eyes were closed?
A couple of kisses past his first he had opened his eyes to stare at his girlfriend's face and found that she had hers closed. It felt wrong to look at someone while they were kissing him, but after that point he couldn't stop. Never once did she open her eyes to look at him. He was betraying her trust on some level, he knew. She believed that he wouldn't look at her, and she in turn did not look at him. Lucas could stare and stare, and she wouldn't ever open her eyes. Not even when it was dragging on for too long. She never doubted him. Not until she broke up with him.
If he kissed Ophelia, would she open her eyes?
Did he want to kiss Ophelia? Really? Truly? Did she want to kiss him?
He exhaled sharply, and realized from the shake in his voice that he was crying too.
Did Ophelia think that his eyes were closed?
A couple of kisses past his first he had opened his eyes to stare at his girlfriend's face and found that she had hers closed. It felt wrong to look at someone while they were kissing him, but after that point he couldn't stop. Never once did she open her eyes to look at him. He was betraying her trust on some level, he knew. She believed that he wouldn't look at her, and she in turn did not look at him. Lucas could stare and stare, and she wouldn't ever open her eyes. Not even when it was dragging on for too long. She never doubted him. Not until she broke up with him.
If he kissed Ophelia, would she open her eyes?
Did he want to kiss Ophelia? Really? Truly? Did she want to kiss him?
He exhaled sharply, and realized from the shake in his voice that he was crying too.
Ophelia wondered if she felt what Lucas felt. The nothingness growing inside of her, did he feel that too? The strong yet fragile feeling of something growing somewhere she didn't know she had space for. It was neither sad or happy. Not a good or a bad feeling, something she couldn't name but something she knew from a vague memory. She poked the feeling, wondering its size and shape, its mass and its ingredients. A little inspection let to her discovery, it was just a heart of glass forming itself in a forgotten cavity.
Would it shatter if she dropped it? Would she do it on purpose? Would the heart hold it against her? What sound would it make when it hit the ground?
Oph broke away from the hug. She rubbed her eyes with the back of hand while the other arm rested on Lucas. She wasn't quite sure it could be a considered a broken hug, but she detached herself from him. She pulled her knees closer. Lucas was looking at her and she was looking at him. The heart of glass laid in the middle, and she was wondering if he would notice it. Would he break it? And what sound would it make?
"I have to do errands," she whispered softly, she wondered if the words mattered or just the act of talking was enough, "do you want to come with me?"
Would it shatter if she dropped it? Would she do it on purpose? Would the heart hold it against her? What sound would it make when it hit the ground?
Oph broke away from the hug. She rubbed her eyes with the back of hand while the other arm rested on Lucas. She wasn't quite sure it could be a considered a broken hug, but she detached herself from him. She pulled her knees closer. Lucas was looking at her and she was looking at him. The heart of glass laid in the middle, and she was wondering if he would notice it. Would he break it? And what sound would it make?
"I have to do errands," she whispered softly, she wondered if the words mattered or just the act of talking was enough, "do you want to come with me?"
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MethodicalSlacker
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They let go of each other, but the warmth remained, clinging to Lucas' body like cat hair. He saw some expectant gleam in her eyes, and wondered what shone in his own. They got closer to each other and something fell out of her mouth, and all Lucas could say with his heart was yes, yes,
"Yes," he said, "I think it'd be good for me to do something like that, and be, y'know, accounted for."
He put his hands in his pockets and felt a crumpled piece of notebook paper. For a moment his heart caught in his chest as he remembered what it was, what was written on it, where he had intended to leave it, and what would have happened if he had left it there and it had been found. He'd need to throw it out now, but he wondered when he'd have the chance. When nobody was looking.
"Shall we go?" Lucas asked, "Or, uh, do you need to take your dog home?"
"Yes," he said, "I think it'd be good for me to do something like that, and be, y'know, accounted for."
He put his hands in his pockets and felt a crumpled piece of notebook paper. For a moment his heart caught in his chest as he remembered what it was, what was written on it, where he had intended to leave it, and what would have happened if he had left it there and it had been found. He'd need to throw it out now, but he wondered when he'd have the chance. When nobody was looking.
"Shall we go?" Lucas asked, "Or, uh, do you need to take your dog home?"
"Nah, it's for him," she looked down at Mr. Bratwurst, "he needs to get groomed and while he's doing that, I need to like... spend money on something. It's the birthday of my dad soon, I want to get him a card and a mug."
She sniffed back her snot in nose. That was kinda gross but she didn't have any tissues on her. She felt kinda bad at not predicting the need of tissues for her outing, but how would she had known that she'd meet Lucas and confront him? Maybe she should have put more points in oneiromancy. She did dream of Lucas a lot lately, it was possibly the clue she didn't see. Anyways, she needed to get going.
"So yeah, still okay coming with me?"
She got up and pushed down on her dress. She wanted to get rid off the non-visible dust she had accumulated of what felt to be years. The heart of glass was still floating around her but she felt like it would smack her in the face again. Ophelia knew that Lucas saw the heart too, she wondered what he thought of it. She hoped he found it pretty. She spent a lot of time and efforts on it.
She sniffed back her snot in nose. That was kinda gross but she didn't have any tissues on her. She felt kinda bad at not predicting the need of tissues for her outing, but how would she had known that she'd meet Lucas and confront him? Maybe she should have put more points in oneiromancy. She did dream of Lucas a lot lately, it was possibly the clue she didn't see. Anyways, she needed to get going.
"So yeah, still okay coming with me?"
She got up and pushed down on her dress. She wanted to get rid off the non-visible dust she had accumulated of what felt to be years. The heart of glass was still floating around her but she felt like it would smack her in the face again. Ophelia knew that Lucas saw the heart too, she wondered what he thought of it. She hoped he found it pretty. She spent a lot of time and efforts on it.
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MethodicalSlacker
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Oh, okay. It was dog errand time. He was more than up for that. Lucas had always secretly wanted a dog. Or a cat, for that matter, but his dad was allergic to the former and his mom was allergic to the latter, despite having each other's respective allergen as pets growing up themselves.
"Sure," Lucas said, nodding, "sounds like a plan."
He felt her warmth still, despite the breeze. He could take the crumpled paper out whenever he wanted and let it catch on the breeze, fly away into the water. Make it sink, damp with uncried tears, or some other pretentious schlock.
"Do you need to stop at home first?" he asked, hoping that they could get their adventure on as soon as possible.
"Sure," Lucas said, nodding, "sounds like a plan."
He felt her warmth still, despite the breeze. He could take the crumpled paper out whenever he wanted and let it catch on the breeze, fly away into the water. Make it sink, damp with uncried tears, or some other pretentious schlock.
"Do you need to stop at home first?" he asked, hoping that they could get their adventure on as soon as possible.
She swayed her head left to right as she undid the knot made around the arm rest of the bench, free Mr. Bratwurst from his temporary prison. Realizing nap time was over, he quickly went to Ophelia's legs and started jittering around. She smiled at him then looked at Lucas, answering his questions with words, without any semblance of the emotions she just had.
"No, I don't have to go home."
Ophelia decided to pull a daring move. Perhaps it was questionable, but she wanted to do it. She felt that, if she didn't do it, Lucas would be nowhere to be seen if she turned around. She felt like he would disappear from thin air, possibly already at the bottom of the river, and the thought of being the last one to see him alive terrified her. She grabbed his hand and got up. She tugged on him softly, and he followed. She wasn't sure if he was blushing or if it was the tears, but as she left, she could feel the warmth from his hand going to her head.
((Ophelia left the Riverside Trail.))
"No, I don't have to go home."
Ophelia decided to pull a daring move. Perhaps it was questionable, but she wanted to do it. She felt that, if she didn't do it, Lucas would be nowhere to be seen if she turned around. She felt like he would disappear from thin air, possibly already at the bottom of the river, and the thought of being the last one to see him alive terrified her. She grabbed his hand and got up. She tugged on him softly, and he followed. She wasn't sure if he was blushing or if it was the tears, but as she left, she could feel the warmth from his hand going to her head.
((Ophelia left the Riverside Trail.))
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MethodicalSlacker
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And he could feel the warmth from her hand, too. He wasn't sure that it went to his head, though.
His heart?
As he walked, he thought, and decided against.
[Lucas Diaz continued in White Roses Bouqet.]
His heart?
As he walked, he thought, and decided against.
[Lucas Diaz continued in White Roses Bouqet.]