Sitting on a park bench, Makatala checked her phone, a beat-up old Nokia. A few seconds later, she checked it again. Looking at the time, counting down the seconds until Michelle would be here. About half an hour ago, she'd sent a text to her girlfriend, asking to meet up with her. A couple minutes later, the reply had came, saying sure. Kammy hadn't gone into the details, but she'd made it pretty clear that she really needed to see Michelle. Over the phone wasn't the right place for this type of thing.
The weather was good, and there were plenty of people out. Lying in the shade of trees, playing games on the expanses of grass. Walking their dogs. She felt detached from all of it though, as if watching a scene from a movie as opposed to real life playing out in front of her.
It wasn't much of a walk from Kam's home to the park, so she'd been waiting a while. Really though, every tick of the clock was so agonising that it barely mattered if it was five minutes or twenty that she'd been sat there. Kam felt physically sick and torn in half at the same time. Mentally, she felt numb... like her mind had been plunged into ice water. Underneath the hurt was anger, impotent anger that in many ways only added to the pain. Kammy didn't want to be angry at anyone, and the fact that she was made her resent those emotions.
She just... couldn't handle this alone. She was trembling on that park bench, and in the bright warmth of the sun, it clearly had nothing to do with the temperature.
There was a sound nearby and Kammy looked up. On any day but today, she would have smiled. Her mouth didn't even twitch. Michelle was rolling along the pathway on skates towards her. As her girlfriend approached, Kam opened her mouth to call out a greeting, picking herself up off the bench... and then just burst into tears.
Home is Where the Heart Isn't
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Ruggahissy
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Michelle was gliding smoothly down the park path. The scuffed up pink wheels of her white roller skates made a slight whirring noise, interrupted every now and again by a click that signaled a break the the pavement. Her soft tresses waved behind her, warmed to a sweet honey color by the sun.
On top of her head was a garland of springy green leaves, poking out in all directions from the willow branches they were affixed to, with a few blue flowers peeping out over her messy waves as well. Every once in awhile one of the pavement cracks would cause her to wobble, stick bother her arms out and move them in little circles for a few minutes before resuming her sail down the flowing concrete.
Her balance was a little off due to a black Jansport backpack she was traveling with. Upbeat graffiti on the bag in metallic silver sharpie threw sharp spikes of light when she pitched forward, trying not to fall. Her strartchy green dress seemed to be fighting the easy movements of the rest of Michelle, staying stubbornly by her side. She licked her lips and a bit of her hair stuck to the moisture. She brushed the strands away and a loose flower fell from her head.
Michelle came to a swooping halt near a wooden bench. The stop seemed to carry more momentum than she was prepared for and she hit the edge of the bench. The garland on her head was slightly crooked.
Before she could say anything Kam started to cry. Michelle was shocked for a moment, but recovered and hugged her tightly.
"Hey now, don't be sad." she said quietly. "Why are you all face-leaky?
On top of her head was a garland of springy green leaves, poking out in all directions from the willow branches they were affixed to, with a few blue flowers peeping out over her messy waves as well. Every once in awhile one of the pavement cracks would cause her to wobble, stick bother her arms out and move them in little circles for a few minutes before resuming her sail down the flowing concrete.
Her balance was a little off due to a black Jansport backpack she was traveling with. Upbeat graffiti on the bag in metallic silver sharpie threw sharp spikes of light when she pitched forward, trying not to fall. Her strartchy green dress seemed to be fighting the easy movements of the rest of Michelle, staying stubbornly by her side. She licked her lips and a bit of her hair stuck to the moisture. She brushed the strands away and a loose flower fell from her head.
Michelle came to a swooping halt near a wooden bench. The stop seemed to carry more momentum than she was prepared for and she hit the edge of the bench. The garland on her head was slightly crooked.
Before she could say anything Kam started to cry. Michelle was shocked for a moment, but recovered and hugged her tightly.
"Hey now, don't be sad." she said quietly. "Why are you all face-leaky?
Kammy couldn't help it, the dam had well and truly burst. She'd held it together this long, but now that Michelle was here the emotions just came pouring out. For a few seconds, she just sobbed into her girlfriend's shoulder, burying her face there, wet with hot tears. Kam tried to keep herself from hysterics, suppressing the wailing that was just begging to come out. She had to stay together, if only so she could explain to Michelle.
A couple of deep and shuddering breaths followed, and without breaking the embrace, Kammy drew her head back so she could look at Michelle's face, concerned of course.
"It... it was my parents. Again."
Makatala knew that she really didn't have to add anything else to that. This hadn't been the first time that something like this had happened. Kam clashed with her parents a lot, and considering how close they were otherwise, there was really only one thing that they argued about. Kammy had mentioned offhand that she'd gone with Michelle to watch a new movie - wanting to talk about the film, of course... and her mom had latched straight onto the mention of her girlfriend. Expressed that typical 'disappointment', that expression of shame on her mother's face that she couldn't just be a 'normal' girl with 'normal' relationships. Alea flouncing off, saying she was sick of Kam's 'drama'. Taimane staring quietly into the table, saying nothing, torn between her parents and her sister. The solemn expression on her father's face as he pronounced how 'wrong' what Kam chose to do was...
It was, however, the first time that her father had lost his temper about it.
"D-dad called me disgusting."
The tears welled up again and Kammy's face went straight back into Michelle's shoulder.
A couple of deep and shuddering breaths followed, and without breaking the embrace, Kammy drew her head back so she could look at Michelle's face, concerned of course.
"It... it was my parents. Again."
Makatala knew that she really didn't have to add anything else to that. This hadn't been the first time that something like this had happened. Kam clashed with her parents a lot, and considering how close they were otherwise, there was really only one thing that they argued about. Kammy had mentioned offhand that she'd gone with Michelle to watch a new movie - wanting to talk about the film, of course... and her mom had latched straight onto the mention of her girlfriend. Expressed that typical 'disappointment', that expression of shame on her mother's face that she couldn't just be a 'normal' girl with 'normal' relationships. Alea flouncing off, saying she was sick of Kam's 'drama'. Taimane staring quietly into the table, saying nothing, torn between her parents and her sister. The solemn expression on her father's face as he pronounced how 'wrong' what Kam chose to do was...
It was, however, the first time that her father had lost his temper about it.
"D-dad called me disgusting."
The tears welled up again and Kammy's face went straight back into Michelle's shoulder.
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Ruggahissy
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"Hey, shhhhh"
Michelle rubbed Kam's back gently. The feeling of the fabric of her shirt had a slight numbing effect on her fingertips. On her shoulder she felt the other girl's warm, shuddering breaths. When she came out and said what the source of her distress was, Michelle's eyes darkened. She squeezed her for a second, bringing her in. Michelle wasn't sure what to say.
She tucked her chin down to try and look at Kam. The cupid's bow of her lips spread into a smile.
"You aren't, though. Normal people look disgusting when they cry. Crying people are pretty gross. They're all soggy and puffy and red. But not you. You still look really cute. You just look like a panda when you cry. A sad panda. So even when people are normally really gross and disgusting, you aren't. So you're like the opposite."
Michelle's left foot slipped in front of her right foot and she grabbed Kam to avoid falling.
"C-can we sit down for this?" she said, trying to steady herself on her skates. " See, I was in such a hurry to get here I went on wheels."
Michelle rubbed Kam's back gently. The feeling of the fabric of her shirt had a slight numbing effect on her fingertips. On her shoulder she felt the other girl's warm, shuddering breaths. When she came out and said what the source of her distress was, Michelle's eyes darkened. She squeezed her for a second, bringing her in. Michelle wasn't sure what to say.
She tucked her chin down to try and look at Kam. The cupid's bow of her lips spread into a smile.
"You aren't, though. Normal people look disgusting when they cry. Crying people are pretty gross. They're all soggy and puffy and red. But not you. You still look really cute. You just look like a panda when you cry. A sad panda. So even when people are normally really gross and disgusting, you aren't. So you're like the opposite."
Michelle's left foot slipped in front of her right foot and she grabbed Kam to avoid falling.
"C-can we sit down for this?" she said, trying to steady herself on her skates. " See, I was in such a hurry to get here I went on wheels."
Makatala snuffed something between a laugh and a sob into Michelle's shoulder. She'd always had a way of saying things that brought a smile to her face, even when she was upset. This time, though, it wasn't enough to break the cloud of Kam's mood. What had happened was just... too much for a little silliness to send lifting off of her shoulders, even though she didn't doubt that Michelle had been mostly serious.
"A very sad panda," she murmured as response.
Michelle suddenly nearly slipped, catching Kam by surprise before the two of them managed to steady themselves. Right, skates. Duh.
Sniffling, Kammy nodded, tears still streaming down her face.
"Let me give you a hand, t-then."
They moved back to the bench, sat, and then Kammy was stuck to Michelle like glue, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and crying again, head tucked just under Michelle's collar bone. Parts of Kam felt bad, springing this on her. Other parts just wanted Michelle to soothe the hurt away.
"A very sad panda," she murmured as response.
Michelle suddenly nearly slipped, catching Kam by surprise before the two of them managed to steady themselves. Right, skates. Duh.
Sniffling, Kammy nodded, tears still streaming down her face.
"Let me give you a hand, t-then."
They moved back to the bench, sat, and then Kammy was stuck to Michelle like glue, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and crying again, head tucked just under Michelle's collar bone. Parts of Kam felt bad, springing this on her. Other parts just wanted Michelle to soothe the hurt away.
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Ruggahissy
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- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Michelle shuffled sideways and sat on the bench, holding onto Kam for support. Once she was safely seated, the wheels spun in the air making a slight whirring noise.
"The girl scout troup went to the roller rink today. The girls made me something while we were on the grass collecting the money for pizza after," she said pointing to the garland on her head.
Michelle took what appeared to be a quilt square out of her bag and swept it across Kam's face.
"You just have to remember that they're wrong. This pain that you feel now because of what your dad said....erm....you have to ask if it's more painful than what it'd be like if you had to hide how you felt all the time."
"The girl scout troup went to the roller rink today. The girls made me something while we were on the grass collecting the money for pizza after," she said pointing to the garland on her head.
Michelle took what appeared to be a quilt square out of her bag and swept it across Kam's face.
"You just have to remember that they're wrong. This pain that you feel now because of what your dad said....erm....you have to ask if it's more painful than what it'd be like if you had to hide how you felt all the time."
"That's... it's really cute."
Kam's voice was still tiny. She was putting her best foot forward, trying to keep a good front up even in the face of what had happened earlier. Kammy always did that. It had almost become subconscious now. She even did it with Michelle, the one person who could bring down her barriers.
Maybe it was especially for Michelle. Because, well... because she cared so much. Kam was grateful for her being there, but... didn't want to hurt her with her own emotions.
"It's not that..." Kammy sniffled. "It's not that I don't want him to know. Being out is good - I know being out is good. It's j-just..." her face scrunched up as a fresh flood of tears began. "I just... wish he could accept me. All of me. Including this. Including y-you."
Kam's voice was still tiny. She was putting her best foot forward, trying to keep a good front up even in the face of what had happened earlier. Kammy always did that. It had almost become subconscious now. She even did it with Michelle, the one person who could bring down her barriers.
Maybe it was especially for Michelle. Because, well... because she cared so much. Kam was grateful for her being there, but... didn't want to hurt her with her own emotions.
"It's not that..." Kammy sniffled. "It's not that I don't want him to know. Being out is good - I know being out is good. It's j-just..." her face scrunched up as a fresh flood of tears began. "I just... wish he could accept me. All of me. Including this. Including y-you."
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 1593
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
((Sorry for slow. Finals ate my life))
Michelle's fingers were twisting up the quilt square. Her long lashes half hid her eyes and she looked down at the slight space between her hands and Kam's. She listened to the other girl and when she stopped the sound of kids playing red light, green light carried on the slight wind from not far off.
"You should do what you want," she said finally. "If your family decides that the can't deal, then maybe you won't see them for awhile, but I think that they'll miss you and then they'll come back. I don't know how long that will take, but until then, I'll be your family. Just until they come back. Okay?"
Michelle took the garland of willow branches, leaves and blue flowers off and placed it gently on top of Kam's head.
Michelle's fingers were twisting up the quilt square. Her long lashes half hid her eyes and she looked down at the slight space between her hands and Kam's. She listened to the other girl and when she stopped the sound of kids playing red light, green light carried on the slight wind from not far off.
"You should do what you want," she said finally. "If your family decides that the can't deal, then maybe you won't see them for awhile, but I think that they'll miss you and then they'll come back. I don't know how long that will take, but until then, I'll be your family. Just until they come back. Okay?"
Michelle took the garland of willow branches, leaves and blue flowers off and placed it gently on top of Kam's head.