SOTF Archive/SOTF Classic

[+] jimmydalad

“I always follow my intuition – and let the angels do the rest.”



Congratulations, you are Jackie Gillies!

Originally from Newcastle, you married young once you met the lead singer of Australian Rock Royalty and Sexy Beast, Ben Gillies, and you’ve been living your fabulous nouveau riche existence ever since - who cares if real old money doesn’t loudly announce that they’d like the most expensive bottle of French Champagne on the menu, then follow that up by telling the poor put-upon waitress that it’s the exact same price as a pair of shoes for you? And furthermore, who cares if real old money doesn’t loudly draw attention to themselves by communing with the spirits of the dead, which has allowed you to become one of the most sought-after psychics in Melbourne? The angels will guide you to happiness and victory in life, as long as your fellow housewives understand that, sometimes, demons could be misdirecting you!

As you’re the only Housewife in the world with the ability to contact the afterlife, you are the Town Seer! In regular mafia terms, this is the Cop. Each night, you will convene with your spirit guides in order to find out if that person is trustworthy…OR THE MAFIA!!! (i.e. PM me the name of another player each night and I’ll tell you if they’re town or mafia).

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] Skraal

“I’m fiery, fierce and fabulous. Momma is ready!”



Congratulations, you are Magali Gorre!

Nobody was expecting you, and nobody was ever prepared because of that. From Day 1 you’ve treated every single interaction with your fellow Housewives as a coded attack, and unlucky for them you know the best defence is a good offense. This may involve some savaging people through confessionals, savaging people across dinner tables, savaging people through petty gossip mongering, and generally just putting the women of Cheshire on edge every time you step outside your house, and sometimes even when you don’t. True, you tend to lose your cool, say when you have a screaming, silverware-rattling meltdown about one of your fellow Housewives on a train, but considering how they ostracised you from the moment they met you it’s a miracle it didn’t come sooner. These girls just need some culture in their lives, and what’s better culture than facing an aggro Dutch ice queen?

It’s your willingness to go into battle that makes you the Town Doctor. Every night you must PM me the name of a member of the town you would like to protect from harm that night. If you’re successful, no harm will come to that player. You may protect the same person however often you feel like it, but you may not protect yourself.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] Ruggahissy

"The O.C. is full of secrets, but I have nothing to hide."



Congratulations, you are Shannon Beador!

Well, I’m not sure if congratulations is the right word. If you think so, are you prepared for everyone to call you an out of control alcoholic, gaslighting and bullying you beyond recognition until you break down at the injustice of it all, only to regain your energy and eviscerate them all at the coming reunion? Are you prepared to deal with your husband cheating on you, whom you enforce reconciliation on by having him study the words he would say to you on your deathbed as you lay beneath a giant tombstone representing your marriage, or your life, or something? Are you prepared to kick Kelly Dodd out of your 70s party for repeatedly referring to you as Mrs. Roper? And are you prepared to rush to the hospital right before a party because you believe you’ve accidentally broken the tip off of a portable colonic inside your body?…wait, what was that last one again?

Either way, while you will be rewarded for your pureness in the afterlife, you are not but a Vanilla Townie in this game. You have nothing but your vote and your brains at your disposal in order to survive.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] MurderWeasel

“I’m a true Texan - no bull, but all horns.”



Congratulations, you are LeeAnne Locken!

From the humble beginnings of a Carnie to the grande dame of the Dallas Charity Scene, you are a force to be reckoned with. And honestly, why don’t the other women get that? Do they not *see* how hard you’ve worked to get where you are, and how much *time* and *money* you’ve put into all these *causes* and then Brandi just shows up with that *stupid hat* putting her *entire reputation* in the Dallas Charity Scene at risk, do they not *realize* that their POSITION IN THE CHARITY SCENE COULD GO ALL THE WAY DOWN THE TOILET, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING THEM IN!!!

But you don’t mind, really.

While you may be the most prominent figure in the Dallas Charity Scene, unfortunately, you are only a Vanilla Townie in this game. You have nothing but your vote and your brains at your disposal in order to survive.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] dmboogie

“I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice.”



Congratulations, you are Dorinda Medley!

New York is in the building! Is there anything you haven’t done? There’s something about how you’re normally the most chilled out woman who ever existed, yet every interaction with a Housewife you don’t like will almost always end with you screaming at them in a drunken/coked out stupor to get out of your sight, that tends to rub some people the wrong way, but what do they know? Who cares, anyway? You’ve invited all your friends up to your fabulous house in the Berkshires and yOU DIDN’T INVITE SONJA BECAUSE YOU WANTED EVERYONE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME! AND IT’S A DISGRACE! THE DISGRACE OF THESE PEOPLE! YOU COOKED ALL DAY, YOU DECORATED, YOU MADE IT NICE. SO IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT, THEY CAN ALL GO HOME!

Ahem.

In this game, you are only a Vanilla Townie. You have nothing but a few martinis, your vote and your brains at your disposal in order to survive.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] Blizzard

“Call me a bad server, because I always spill the tea.”



Congratulations, you are Sheree Whitfield!

You’ve been in the game longer than anyone, and making things interesting long before anyone tried. Be it having NeNe kicked out of your party, launching a fashion line and having a viewing for your fashion line without any clothing, going back and forward between friends in order to break them up, shifting your debt around on your credits cards, or sleeping on an inflatable mattress while you work on the biggest mansion known to man while simultaneously denying you’re currently homeless, Sheree Whitfield is here to stay, unless you decide to try and help get a hated housewife back on the show to the anger of the producers in which case, uh, check your inbox.

Unfortunately your ability to help out the town behind the scenes is as real as She By Sheree, so you are not but a Vanilla Townie - you only have your vote and your brains at your disposal in order to survive.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] Kermit

"I may speak five languages, but my true language is independence."



Congratulations, you are Adriana De Moura!

A polygot with a penchant for art, fine living, and rage blackouts, is there a better way to describe you? You host the finest parties and gatherings (if you count getting into an open verbal fight with one of the artists at your gallery to be a success), you liven up proceedings wherever you go, and to top it all off, you have a fabulous fiancé who you’ll be marrying any day soon! It sure would be a shame if people found out you were actually married years beforehand and were just faking your engaged status for the show, but if anyone tries it, it better not be at a lingerie party - just ask Joanna Krupa what happens when you get confronted at those.

Despite your skills and knowledge, however, you are just a Vanilla Townie. You only have your stupendous vote and your fabulous brains at your disposal in order to survive - sadly, sucker punching people can only get you so far.

You win with the town when all Mafia members have been eliminated.

[+] Fenris

“Life in Beverly Hills is a game, and I make the rules.”



Congratulations, you are Lisa Vanderpump!

Real Housewives has never seen a grande dame like you - be it constructing the ouster of your enemies in the cast, getting given your own show by the network, or even running the game just off camera and setting the tone for the entire series, you are everything there is to know about Beverly Hills. It’s a shame those stuffy Americans just don’t get your British humour, I mean it’s like they’ve never been asked why they stole their husband from an innocent woman or been accused of doing meth in the bathroom. Oh well, at least you have your cherubic pink mansion of dogs to keep you company as you pass the day <3

This might be why you’re the Mafia Leader, come to think of it. Every night phase, you and Karen Huger (MK Kilmarnock), the Mafia Roleblocker, will decide who to kill, but the ultimate decision will come through you, sent to me via PM. Apart from that, you must use your wits and your brains to outmaneuver the town and achieve victory.

You win when the Mafia holds equal power or majority over the town.

Safe claims for the Mafia: Erika Girardi for Lisa, Ashley Darby for Karen

[+] MK Kilmarnock

“Baby don’t believe what you hear, the grande dame still holds center court.”



Congratulations, you are Karen Huger!

You are the supreme leader of the Potomac social scene - you host the greatest parties, you know everyone worth knowing, and you are the ultimate fount of knowledge on anything to do with etiquette. You know the rules, and you expect everyone else to play by them, and if they don’t, well, they weren’t worth knowing anyway, were they? There might be juuuuust a little bit of a problem regarding your taxes, but honestly, who hasn’t accidentally forgotten to pay them on millions in purchases? You gotta spend money to make money, anyway!

Well if you can fool the IRS, you can certainly fool the town, and as such you’re the Mafia Roleblocker. Every night you will send me who you would like to block the actions of in each night phase, and if you’re successful, this person’s night actions will not go through. You can also discuss with your benevolent Mafia Leader, Lisa Vanderpump (Fenris), who you would like to kill each night, but the order to kill must come through them.

You win when the Mafia holds equal power or majority over the town.

Safe claims for the Mafia: Erika Girardi for Lisa, Ashley Darby for Karen

Night 1:
MK Kilmarnock (Mafia Roleblocker) ---> Block: MurderWeasel (Vanilla Townie)
Fenris (Mafia Leader) ---> Kill: Kermit (Vanilla Townie)
jimmydalad (Town Seer) ---> Investigate: MurderWeasel (Vanilla Townie)
Skraal (Town Doctor) ---> Protect: jimmydalad (Town Seer)

Night 2:

MK Kilmarnock (Mafia Roleblocker) ---> Block: nobody
Fenris (Mafia Leader) ---> Kill: MurderWeasel (Vanilla Townie)
jimmydalad (Town Seer) ---> Investigate: Blizzard (Vanilla Townie)

Night 3:

Fenris (Mafia Leader ---> Kill: jimmydalad (Town Seer)
jimmydalad (Town Seer) ---> Investigate: Ruggahissy (Vanilla Townie)