All the World is Waiting for the Sun...

[Megami†]

Rain.

Heather loved the rain. When the rain came, it washed away all the dirt and grime that had accumulated and cleaned all the filth away. When the rain came, things were fresh, new... pure again. She didn't seem to mind that it was pouring down all around her as she sat on the rooftop of the ramshackled old apartment building. It drenched her, soaked her to the core, but for some reason the cool water on her flesh made her feel better. Maybe it was the cloudy gray sky combined with the smog of the city and the pouring rain that fell from the sky, or maybe it was just the view from atop the old building, but something about the atmosphere around her was making her quite introspective.

Maybe it was the marijuana taking its toll on her.

She flicked the roach laying beside the rooftop next to her away and it rolled off the top of the tall building and fell to the ground below. In a way, she had things like drugs to thank for most of the problems in her life, including the very apparent one that was currently floating around in her stomach. Heather placed her hands on her protruding belly and frowned slightly, then raised her hand up, lightly admiring the very small, inadequate ring she wore on her finger. It wasn't even a real engagement ring, just some cheap knock-off for fifteen dollars from Wal-Mart. He hadn't been able to get her a real engagement ring, but he kept promising her that one day, he'd come through and buy her a beautiful ring, and nice things, and he'd give her the happy life he wanted.

The thing was, that was what he wanted.

Heather wanted to marry Lance, and she wanted him to take the wretched creature that was growing in her uterus and do something with it, preferably keep it far away from her. The thing was, Lance was only promising to marry her because she'd gotten pregnant. It had been an accident, really. At least, that's what she kept blaming it on. The truth was, they just hadn't used a condom, because at the time, both of them were far too wasted on drugs and alcohol to even think about doing something so simple, yet so vital. The truth was, she didn't even know if the baby was Lance's. He had been far from her only partner in the weeks leading up to her pregnancy. Somehow, though, he was the one who stood up and took responsibility for it... wanted it to be his, to be theirs.

Heather just wanted it to be gone. It kicked her, it squished her organs, it made her sick. It was like a little demon trying to tear its way out of her stomach and set itself free into the world. She had wanted to have an abortion, but they hadn't had the time nor the money to do that by the time she found out. She wanted to give it away, to throw it in the garbage, to take it to the pound and leave it like an old and decrepid animal that you've grown tired of... but she couldn't, because the only thing keeping him in her life was that awful creature that was growing inside of her.

Everything... it's because of you, baby. All the good. All the bad... mostly the bad. It's your fault. I had a good life before, but you had to come along,and you ruined everything. I'll never forgive you for it.

Before, Lance had partied right by her side. They'd done some pretty crazy things, they'd even mugged this elderly couple in an alleyway one time. Heather had gotten a really nice diamond necklace off the deal. Then, when this came up, Lance decided he wanted to go on the straight and narrow, "do things by the book", whatever. It wasn't any fun. At all. She didn't want a baby. She didn't want to be a mother. All she saw when she looked up at her swelled up stomach was a vile little creature that had stolen away her figure and intruded into her life.

"You're disgusting..." she whispered quietly as she gazed down at her tummy.

Her entire lifestyle was supposed to come to an end, just like that. She was supposed to grow up, smarten up, become a mommy. Heather didn't even know how to be a mommy. Her mom sure hadn't showed her anything besides how to roll a proper roach. The thought was overwhelming, and the fact was, she didn't want to own up to the responsibility of a child. Still, she smiled and acted happy around Lance, because every time he spoke, smiled, or laughed, he saw the baby and not her. Ever since she'd told him the news, he'd been on her to straighten up. She didn't want her lifestyle to end. The drugs were too good, the sex was great -- at least, when she remembered it -- things had been incredible beforehand. She never wanted them to end.

"And it's all your fault," she choked out once again, a disgusted look apparent on her features as her line of vision once again hit the skyline.