Flashback Humor

[Hollyquin†]

"The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club."

Garrett walked a straight line down the alley, not looking left or right at the other boys- only looking forward, turning around sharply and walking back the other way as he reached the end. It was a crisp, cold fall evening- the alley was littered with crunchy brown leaves that had made their way here from the actual trees that existed somewhere nearby. Garrett was loving this. He could feel the eyes of the others, following him as he walked. He was a god today- he was Tyler Durden.

"The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club."

Garrett heard a chuckle come from somewhere and allowed himself a small smile. He wasn't quite deluded enough to not appreciate the humor in the situation- reciting the rules of Fight Club verbatim, as ridiculous as the sounded in real life. But dammit, Garrett was going to do this right.

"Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells "stop!", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over."

Garrett kept pacing, keeping up his stoic facade. Underneath there were two things he was fighting to keep down. Firstly, he was trying to keep himself from shivering. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of baggy black jeans. His Vans, his Element t-shirt, and his flannel jacket were all left in a heap by a dumpster in the alley. Fight Club rules said 'no shirts, no shoes,' and while it was too cold for him really to enforce that, he was gonna make an impression by following through. Cold as it was.

"Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time."

Second of all, Garrett was excited. Extremely excited. He was a fifteen year old boy, suddenly in charge of a group of angry, dissatisfied teenage boys. And they were listening to him! He'd known for quite a while that he was a gifted speaker, but he never realized that he could convince boys his age to follow him. It helped, of course, that simply the concept of Fight Club was incredibly appealing to most teenage boys. Beating each other up and sticking it to 'the man'- what wasn't there to like?

"Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. I'll make an exception to that one today, boys, just cause I don't want anyone freezing to death, but..." Garrett shrugged. "Up to you."

Garrett knew that they were starting small. Just a few boys, gathered in an alleyway, beating the crap out of each other. But that was just the beginning. Soon they'd really start the revolution off right. Just like Project Mayhem. Garrett was a bit worried about getting in trouble- after all, he did want to graduate high school. But he'd figure that out later, right?

"Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to."

Garrett was so ready for this. He had been for years.

"And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight." He smiled. "And that...is everyone"