Sympathy for the Devil
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:32 am
[Boy #14 - Alex White. Continued from Full Circle.]
It took all day. All fucking day, just to make it down here. On one hand, he could blame his leg and the searing pain he felt every time he put his full weight on it, but the addition of a walking stick about halfway through his trip made it a little easier. On the other hand, he could blame it on the placement of danger zones, but there hadn't been any new ones besides the beaches. But no matter what he blamed, Alex was mad, tired, sore, and felt as if his legs were going to fall off and he would be happy to be rid of them.
"Fucking put my prize on the other side of the fucking island. Make me walk all this way. Fucking... fuck."
He was spent. Didn't even know how to voice his frustration and annoyance. Just started spouting random curses every few minutes. Spat out long strings of them whenever he'd stumble and put his weight on his leg, and shout others at the top of his lungs when he fell. But he made it down there. Didn't quite care who heard him in his shouting along the way, because he made it down to the Mines.
To claim his prize.
"About fucking time."
Alex stumbled and limped his way over to the crate. Stared at it for the longest time, wondering if he even wanted to open it. It was his prize, his reward, for the horrible things he'd done to those girls. To that girl. His reward for ending the lives of those who were innocent. He could take what was inside that crate. It was as simple as opening it up, reaching inside, and taking it out. But did he really want that? Did he really want to accept a reward for doing what he did? A prize for his sentence to that very special hell?
He didn't know. He honestly did not know.
So he sat down. And he thought.
Stared at his hands, and thought.
Was this really what he wanted? To survive at all costs? To kill without second thought, to fight without quarter, to give no mercy and expect none? He'd done it before. Killed without thought. Killed solely out of reflex. Killed without hesitation. Made someone suffer. No matter what he did, he would not be able to take back his actions. No matter what he said, he wouldn't be able to make it right. He could try, but he would fail. He would get no forgiveness for what he did and there was no excuse for his actions. The families of the victims, of his victims, would not forgive him. His own family was likely to disown him. He could try to make things right, but he would fail.
Was that really what he wanted?
Alex sighed. Stared at the crate. Resigned himself to his fate.
He was a murderer, plain and simple. There was no taking that back. There was no excusing what he did. Trying to run from that, trying to hide, would have been useless. Alex shook his head, and took out a bottle of water. Took the bottle of pills out of his pocket, and took what he needed.
Time to get back to the game. No matter what he thought, no matter what the world thought or what his family thought, he still had to survive this. He still had to win this.
Alex put his hand on the crate.
"Here goes nothing."
It took all day. All fucking day, just to make it down here. On one hand, he could blame his leg and the searing pain he felt every time he put his full weight on it, but the addition of a walking stick about halfway through his trip made it a little easier. On the other hand, he could blame it on the placement of danger zones, but there hadn't been any new ones besides the beaches. But no matter what he blamed, Alex was mad, tired, sore, and felt as if his legs were going to fall off and he would be happy to be rid of them.
"Fucking put my prize on the other side of the fucking island. Make me walk all this way. Fucking... fuck."
He was spent. Didn't even know how to voice his frustration and annoyance. Just started spouting random curses every few minutes. Spat out long strings of them whenever he'd stumble and put his weight on his leg, and shout others at the top of his lungs when he fell. But he made it down there. Didn't quite care who heard him in his shouting along the way, because he made it down to the Mines.
To claim his prize.
"About fucking time."
Alex stumbled and limped his way over to the crate. Stared at it for the longest time, wondering if he even wanted to open it. It was his prize, his reward, for the horrible things he'd done to those girls. To that girl. His reward for ending the lives of those who were innocent. He could take what was inside that crate. It was as simple as opening it up, reaching inside, and taking it out. But did he really want that? Did he really want to accept a reward for doing what he did? A prize for his sentence to that very special hell?
He didn't know. He honestly did not know.
So he sat down. And he thought.
Stared at his hands, and thought.
Was this really what he wanted? To survive at all costs? To kill without second thought, to fight without quarter, to give no mercy and expect none? He'd done it before. Killed without thought. Killed solely out of reflex. Killed without hesitation. Made someone suffer. No matter what he did, he would not be able to take back his actions. No matter what he said, he wouldn't be able to make it right. He could try, but he would fail. He would get no forgiveness for what he did and there was no excuse for his actions. The families of the victims, of his victims, would not forgive him. His own family was likely to disown him. He could try to make things right, but he would fail.
Was that really what he wanted?
Alex sighed. Stared at the crate. Resigned himself to his fate.
He was a murderer, plain and simple. There was no taking that back. There was no excusing what he did. Trying to run from that, trying to hide, would have been useless. Alex shook his head, and took out a bottle of water. Took the bottle of pills out of his pocket, and took what he needed.
Time to get back to the game. No matter what he thought, no matter what the world thought or what his family thought, he still had to survive this. He still had to win this.
Alex put his hand on the crate.
"Here goes nothing."