That Which Survives

[Ruggahissy]

((Isabel Guerra continued from Latin Girls))


Isabel blinked and the slight reflection of her blinked back. She was resting her head against the window of a car. The car was taking her back home. The driver seemed to realize she wasn't in the mood for talking and let her be. She sighed.

"Excited to see your folks?" he said, breaking the silence.

"I guess," she offered half heartedly.


The tree lined streets of St. Paul ran by her and smudged before her eyes. The car turned into one of the in-streets away from the nice houses and stopped in front of her little apartment complex. There were people outside it.

"What the-...." she mumbled.

Someone opened the door for her and she stepped out carefully with her bag. She took two steps and was blinded.

There was a crowd of media people swarming the path to the cheap little gate of her apartment complex. STAR said that they wouldn't alert the media. How was this happening?

Suddenly she was nearly taken down by someone embracing her.

"Princessa!"

Her mother was hugging her.

"Mom, let go! Let go of me! Ow, my stab wound!" Isabel shouted as she struggled and squirmed.

Isabel's mother grabbed her by the good hand and pulled her after her towards the entrance. Suddenly she was wrenched from her mother's hand and propped in front of the crowd like a doll.

"My little lamb. My precious little girl."

Isabel was in a state of shock as her father cooed over her in front of the strangers and hugged her tightly. She felt like she was about to vomit.

First time you've seen me in years and the first thing you do is sell me out. Classy.

"We're so happy to have our daughter home!" he said, smiling wide. "We've been worried sick, Isabel."

Isabel felt unsteady on her feet. She felt like she was going to fall to the floor at any moment. She buckled and he held her up. His arm was under her arm and she wanted to get it off of her.

"I think she's feeling weak still. Thank you all for coming out and showing your concern. We're just so happy to have her back."

He turned her towards the gate and the crowd started to dissipate. She stumbled forward out of his grasp and towards her mother, who took her by the arm and guided her to their apartment.

Isabel shuffled into the apartment after her mother and her father closed the door behind them. She sat gently on the couch and her mother kissed her face over and over until Isabel yelled about her neck injury and instead went to get her a glass of water, leaving her with her father.

"You look good, Isa," he said with a chuckle.

Isabel glared darkly at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"You're my only daughter. Of course I'm here. I was worried."

"Uh hu."

"And I figured you would need help to recover after what you've been through. You held up very well, very strong, like I always wanted you to be. I'm proud.

"Uh hu."

"And I think that if you look at this in the right light, it doesn't have to be all bad. I can help you turn it into a good thing."

".......how the....how could this EVER be a good thing?"

"Well, it's afforded you opportunities. Opportunities I think you should take advantage of."

"........."

"Television appearances, books deals, this has a lot of potential and I'm willing to help you tap into that."

Isabel sat perfectly still, staring at a square of carpet next to her father's feet. Her mother brought her a glass of water and Isabel left it untouched.

"I won't do that," she said quietly.

"Do what?" he mother asked, having returned.

"You know, I learned something. I found people that when I'm around them I feel like they bring out the best in me. We aren't around each other but when we talk I can feel all my best qualities coming out. I'm warm and sweet and nurturing and loyal and protective. They bring out the absolute best version of my self.

You are the polar opposite. You bring out the worst in me. When I think of you I become cold, distant, angry, resentful, vindictive and cruel. It's hard to believe it's the same person.

I think that you realize how little you've done to parent me in the last 10 years and you try to make up for it by pretending that you're a father, but really you're only back for yourself.

I'm fairly certain you can't name even one thing I like. A book, a movie, a television show. At this point I'm not inclined to give you any of that information. I don't want you to know who I am.

It just feels so incredibly unfair to me that I tried so hard, I do so much and I scrape for myself and you left me. Only now are you really proud of me. I had to get nearly killed for you to say I was worth something.

This relationship has rotted from the inside for quite sometime even when you were here. You reap what you sow. If you attend to a relationship, like a plant, it grows beautiful and full. I believe ours to be dead. I hope you do quite well in your own life and wish you the best of luck."

Isabel took a deep breath.

"Now get out of my house."

He stared at her for a moment before sighing and putting his hands on his hips.

"I'm sad to hear your remarks about me and about our relationship, but at least you are honest," he said with a slight chuckle. "Maybe we can learn to work out the hurting points and have a foundation for a good relationship. I can help you more than you know, together we played our cards right we could-"

"I think you need to go," her mother interjected.


"Get out of my house and don't ever speak to me," Isabel said, standing up.


His expression darkened and he scowled at her.


"Ungrateful little bitch. When I was here not once did you show care, love or even a simple thank you."

Isabel picked up a letter opener off the coffee table in front of her and stood with her feet planted, holding the edge out at him.


"I know English isn't your first language, but I know you understand this, now get the fuck out of my house or I will stab the shit out of you."

[Ruggahissy]

Isabel walked back out of her apartment, up the three steps, past the crummy gate that never shut properly and to the side walk that had just been a circus of people. As seemed to be happening often lately, her hands were bloody. She sat on the curb and looked down at her clothes. Isabel's hands shook. She put her head in her lap and started laughing.


Click click

Click

White mouse hovers over the progress.

Click

Pause.

Isabel moves her deep almond eyes up.

"I didn't kill him if that's what you think. He got mad and came at me and I stabbed him like I said I would. He's fine, I promise. He still tries to talk to me sometimes. He sends me e-mails because he doesn't know my phone number or where I live now. I don't respond."

The white mouse clicks ahead in the progress.

Fast forward.

Isabel rang the door bell waited outside the door. She'd been to Feo's house, Ethan's house and Dave's house. The first two weren't so bad. She told them what they'd done for her and for everyone. She lost it at Dave's house though. His two brothers looked too much like him.

One of them looked blankly at her when she'd finished.

"....he was still an ass."

And though she was crying she couldn't help but laugh.

"He was, but he had a good heart."

The brothers looked at each other for a moment and then back at her.

".......no. No he didn't."

Isabel stood awkwardly in the door way for a minute.

"Well, thanks for stopping by," the taller one said, before slamming the door shut.

She'd left Dave's house a few hours ago. This was Helen's house.

Click

Drag the progress forward

Isabel's eyes don't look up this time, instead staying glued to the screen.

"I love them all. It's funny how you don't realize what people mean to you until you don't have them anymore. I still wake up at night sometimes and ask for Dave."

Drop

Play

Isabel was packing her winter sweaters. A boy with a mop of curly hair leaned against the door frame.

"You going back to St. Paul for winter break?"

Isabel glanced at him a moment before siting on her luggage to try and zip it.

"Umm hmm. Help me out with this, Rob."

Robert and Isabel sat on the bag and she was finally able to close it. She sighed and sat on the floor, quickly followed by Robert.

"Gonna see my mom. Probably won't spent much time with her. The step kids and I don't really get along. I really mostly go back to see friends. And you?"

"Girlfriend and I are visiting the family. Gonna hit up San Francisco and visit my dad and older sister Adriana and then go up to Seattle and see Mom, Mathew and Michelle before winter semester starts up. Mom, Mat, Michelle, M M M."

Click

Pause

"Poor thing."

In any case, she watched the torrent and didn't close her eyes. She watched the stories, unware until now of Raidon's romance with Mizore who had, in reality, tried to stop him. Isabel saw that her anger to Mizore was unwarranted, but she still didn't feel any forgiveness for him.

She broke down crying, curled up on the floor when her friend Simon was fatally shot with an arrow. However, she could not begrudge the way that he'd died. He went as he wanted to and for some reason, that did make her feel a little better.

Charlie, she'd died with Raidon talking to her about movies. She wished she could have saved her too. Another failure for her list.

And the girl she'd risked her life trying to find, her friend Hayley. Hayley did not kill in self defense and she had no remorse. Isabel wasn't sure how she felt about that. She sometimes wondered if she'd managed to find her in time, what it was she'd have found. What would Hayley say to her?

Dave, Leila, Winnie, Helen, oh Helen, Roland.....Roland hadn't meant to kill that boy at the fair after all, had he? Kitty, who killed in cold blood and died scratching and screaming, Annaliese, sweet girl who she watched fade in Ray's arms. There was even some strange detached feeling watching Rosa die just a few feet from her unconscious body. People she'd never met played out their dramas and were cut down brutally.


The video stopped

Well?


"Well...." Isabel sighs and wipes a few of her tears, having finished the torrent.

"I'm glad that I saw it all. I.....I never knew my class mates more than I do now at this moment. It was like.....like watching two hundred plus little tragedies. It's so hard to have a good perspective on things when you're in the middle but when you look down on it....when you can see everything happening at the same time..... and you can understand a little better."


Isabel bites her lip and moves a strand of her hair behind her ear.


"They were all....every one of them in their own ways..."

Isabel deletes Survival of the Fittest Version four and looks up at you.

Beautiful


Isabel Guerra: Concluded