Awe of She

Their last fleeting moments of privacy. (Private)

The logging road leading from the sawmill to the woods separates both halves of the felled forest. It shows a lot of recent use, with tracks from the logging trucks grooved into dirt. In the middle of the road is one of the logging trucks, still with its last load of cargo. The keys are nowhere to be found in or around the truck. Though it won't be moving, the truck provides the closest amount of cover for at least a mile radius.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Awe of She

#1

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

((Ivan and Tabi continued from Panic Attack))

Tired.... so tired.

The idea dominated every step. Every impact against the ground sent up shooting twinges of pain. How long had it been since they had truly taken time to rest without being interrupted by somebody out for their head? When was their last true meal? Most importantly, when was the last time either of them got some sleep?

Ivan focused on these questions because it was better than thinking about the boy he had probably just killed.

If Imraan was truly dead, then that would mean he now killed two people. The revelation was far from pleasing. Just about the only thing that kept him from destroying himself through sheer guilt were the circumstances; he continually justified his actions to himself, silently screaming in profession of his innocent.

He would have killed us both. He had the gun. He shot at us before...

He wasn't like Keith. Keith wasn't armed. Keith didn't shoot at us, or chase us and hunt us down like rabbits...


Anything to make himself feel better was run by his brain. It offered very little relief from the constant worry of Imraan (was he alive and still after them, or truly dead and his coffin resting on Ivan's shoulders?) or the weight of the daypack carrying their belongings. The damned thing's heft felt tremendous even from its comfortably snug position of being strapped around one shoulder and supported against the opposite hip. This was alleviated somewhat by him having taken out the Pancor Jackhammer, its spot in the daypack occupied by the smaller pistol. He wasn't sure how re-allocating the weight from his back to his arms helped, but to his own mind, it did.

The announcements had started up as they tried to flee the swamp, forcing them onto this narrow strip of road. It was a long journey, and not towards anywhere that Ivan had any particular drive to head towards. The other students were there. Students... that was a funny word for it, as though any of them actually behaved like schoolchildren at this point. Waiting on the other end of this road was hell.

But that hell was also on the other side of a bridge, which Ivan had approached first. He had been walking ahead of Tabi, listening for her footsteps to make sure she hadn't fallen behind. He needed to be first, to scout for danger... god knows they had found more than enough of that to last them...

A lifetime? The thought was nearly dripping with sarcasm.

"... Let's stop here..." Ivan said, breaking the silence that had lasted for more than twenty minutes. There was a river. Perhaps they could get cleaned up, get the smell of swamp and death off of them.
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GregTheAnti-Viking†
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#2

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Ivan had let go of her hand as soon as they got out of the mire. How long that had been was lost to her, though any thoughts directed towards the question were quickly discarded. They had to run. There was no telling if Imraan was still chasing her. She didn't dare look behind her anymore, there was too much risk involved. Given her previous attempts, it was for the best to forget it.

What she could not forget was the immense pain the still lingered in her left foot. Every step that she took sent a fresh pulse up her leg and to her brain, causing her lip to curl into a twisted arch. Her mouth had gone dry, in spite of the foul brown sludge that still lingered on her tongue, it was craving for moisture. An acrid odor assaulted her nostrils, the smell of mud, blood and an ever present smell of perspiration would not leave, it clung to her like the muck of the swamp clung to her body. The backpack she now wore weighed a tonne and she craved to toss the foul luggage off of her. Discard it and be rid of it all.

But all those thoughts were mere whispers in her mind compared to the screaming in her brain.

Run. You aren't safe. Keep running.

When was she supposed to stop? Tabi had no idea. Maybe it was when she reached a corner and couldn't escape. Maybe it was the edge of the island. Maybe it was when Ivan stopped. Maybe it was when she passed out.

Ivan was a beacon for Tabi. A marker that told her where to go, and currently, it was all she focused on. Vision had almost completely returned to her now, her eyes still stung, but she was able to look ahead. The blonde's hair was damp and clung to his scalp, almost as if he had no hair at all. Sweat clung to his shirt and it was mixing in with the blood that was pooling down his shoulder and arm. Flecks of mud stained his legs and shirt, residue from freeing Tabi from the marshes clutches.

She closed her eyes, her hands balling up into quivering fists.

And then she opened her eyes. Ivan had stopped. Tabi skidded to a halt and looked to the Russian.

"... Let's stop here..."



Without warning, Tabi toppled onto the ground, sending a spray of dust up into the air around her face before gracefully falling like confetti before her.

Pain. It had been niggling when she was chased, something that she was able to overcome after summoning up all of her reserves. But now, once motion had ceased, it had turned into a tidal wave that took her out to sea.

Her legs had turned to the consistency of limp noodles. They were spread out on the dirty ground as if she was a toy tossed aside on the playroom floor. Only her left foot had any feeling in it, the feeling of fire burning away. It came in short bursts, but the throbbing remained. She didn't even try to leave the ground now. It was better to just lay on the dirt trail. Wait for her body to catch up.

Tabi's chest was ballooning up and down erratically looking for something to fill her lungs with. She inhaled dust and the dry taste caused her to cough, spitting out globs of brown mud out into the trail, staining the brown with a slightly darker shade. She fought through the fit of coughing and at last, air was returning to her lungs. It didn't slow her chest down, but the oxygen felt sweat after all the stale tastes in her mouth.

Despite the sun's rays beating down on her, Tabi found herself shaking and cold. She tried to piece togther the distance that she and Ivan had run, but there was no number to be found, not with all the pounding throughout her body. Had they really escaped Imraan at last? It seemed impossible. How long had it been since he had chased him?

She closed her eyes. Far too long.

And yet. Why did Ivan stop?

Tabi's breath stopped for a moment as she gulped down a lump in her throat.

He had done it again hadn't he? He shot Imraan and saved Tabi's life again. She wanted to feel releaved, she had survived again, barely. But, this was after all that effort she had gone to protect him. She was supposed to keep him safe too. She had this resolve, this could have been avoided.

But here they were.

Tabi felt water roll down her mud-caked cheeks. And she started to wimper. After all that effort, she was still the same as she always was. She was still just this small quivering girl laying on the ground.

Still the same...
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MK Kilmarnock
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#3

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

"Tabi!"

No sooner than he had addressed her did his companion hit the ground. Had she been hit in the back or something? Was Tabi dead? Ivan's heart threatened to leap out of his throat as he rushed to the fallen girl at the fastest gait his own beaten body could manage.

He stumbled down to his knees once he had gotten close to her. His bare knees, bone protected only by the thin layer of skin, dug into the gravelly dirt road. Short, rapid breaths highlighted his fear for the one person he could talk to. The one person he could depend on. The only person on this island he loved.

"Tabi... damn it..." Ivan shuddered, digging his fingers under Tabi's side to try and roll her over and give her some air. His right arm failed almost immediately when the pain became too much, leaving him with only his left to do anything. The shotgun laid nearby in the dust, momentarily forgotten.

Up until now, it hadn't really sunk in just what kind of shape they were in. A splash of red adorned is right arm, but he dared not look at it when there were far more pressing things to worry about. The poor girl before him was an absolute mess. Ivan remembered back to day one, back when he first saw Tabi. How ironic it was that at the point when she looked her best, he didn't care for her one bit. Now it seemed like the more he loved her, the more mud and dirt caked onto her skin.

Aside from that, a quick inspection revealed no injuries. There were holes in her shirt, clearly bulletholes, but those had always been there. Always... 'always' apparently starting from some point at which this hell began. the holes had been there since she changed her clothes since that one time in the river. It looked like they'd be needing another bath; they were both dirty as hell and just about fatigued, but to Ivan's relief, Tabi appeared uninjured.

"... Rest for a moment." It took a moment of deliberation for him to say it, but he let it out in a soft and pointed manner. If they just took a breather, they'd be okay. They could get over this devestation just like they got over everything else. This island was nothing more than just a series, a parade, of obstacles.

We'll get through this, hon.

If he had the strength and ability to carry her, he would have. As it was, Ivan could hardly carry himself. "When you're ready..." he continued in the gentle tone, "... we'll get you cleaned up a little."
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#4

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi tried to not look at Ivan's desperate attempts to roll her onto her back. She caught Ivan's right arm struggling to lift her, before she could say anything Ivan had used his right and she found herself on her back staring at the clear sky above her. Although the sun wasn't directly staring back at her, she felt blinded by it's light, as if it was judging her. Interrogating her, demanding her to answer the questions floating around in her own head.

She wished that she had an answer. A reason to why she had failed to protect the man he loved back in the swamp. A reason why she had failed to protect him at all. They loved each other right? Love was supposed to be a mutual exchange. Wasn't protecting the person you loved a mutual agreement as well?

" ... Rest for a moment."

Tabi's face turned away from the sky and down to the dusty road beneath her. She let out another light fit of coughing, spewing a few more flecks of mud out of her mouth. Oh how she wanted to drink something. Anything. She wanted to remove this foul taste from her mouth any way she could. The only remedy available though was air. Her breathing slowed to a gentle cadence, relieving some of the tension that held her so stiffly in place.

"When you're ready..."

Tabi's head reluctantly turned back to Ivan's. She found herself staring up at his eyes, the sunglasses he wore had drooped down to the bridge of his nose and now his eyes were plain in sight. The sincerity held within them bore into her own. She recoiled, pain in her chest returning anew. Why did he have to look at her like that. After all that had happened. All that she had failed to do. How could he do this?

"... we'll get you cleaned up a little."

Tabi blinked. Was there a river nearby? Taking a moment to escape his gaze, Tabi finally started to take in her surroundings. During the chase she developed a tunnel vision, the only thing that mattered was following whatever line Ivan was walking down. It seemed that they were near a bridge. A bridge that seemed familiar to her. One that they had crossed when Imraan had chased them down. There must have been a river under that bridge. Was Ivan suggesting that they bathe in it?

Well, it wasn't the first time she had done so. Though knowing her luck, it was just a muddy gully.

Tabi regrettably returned to look at Ivan, but instead of looking at his eyes. She looked at the red splotch of blood that had stained the once white shirt he wore. Guilt rushed up into her conscience, guilt that spurred her into wanting to do all that she could for that wound. All she could do for him.

"Ivan, let me look at your arm."
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#5

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

The request was lost on him for a moment or two. Here she was, looking ready to drop dead, and she still had it in the frame of mind to ask how his arm was doing. Ivan leaned forward to try and offer some shade from the sun. He could feel the back of his neck being completely beat on by the sun's rays, but at this point, a sunburn was the least of his worries.

"Don't worry about it," he offered to Tabi, turning the shoulder away from her the best he could. The re-opened wound was just a graze. He was lucky that Clio only gave him a gash on his arm rather than a full-blown gunshot wound in his shoulder, which could have spelled death all the way back there. This was not life threatening, Ivan repeatedly assured himself. He was fine, and Tabi was the important one to care for.

The displeased look on her face was, unfortunately all too easy to read. Ivan looked away as quickly as he could, trying to find a reason to divert his attention elsehere. Anything so he didn't have to look at her when she wore an expression that clearly stated her annoyance with him.

The answer came in the bridge. Rather, Ivan looked to the sloping riverbank on either side of the bridge's closer end. "H-hold on... just let me..." he muttered as he pushed himself up off of his knees, trudging off of the road to peer down the bank at the river. If he could find a path that was gentle enough, he could lead them down and...
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#6

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi was taken aback by his refusal. Her lip curled as Ivan made an effort to shield her from the sun. She couldn't look at him right now, choosing to look instead at the grassy patch around his feet. Instead of helping her boyfriend, she was left to be babied by him. She had let this situation come to pass. It was true, she had become this damsel in need of protecting.

Ivan stood up and turned away from her. Tabi's eyes darted over to see that he was scanning the area around the bridge. He had muttered gentle things that Tabi assumed were attempts to placate her. Something that would keep her safe while he did the hard work. Business as usual.

Tabi's fingers curled up into fists, shaking feverishly. Ivan needed to have the wound cleaned, he was bleeding. She just had a stinging foot and a muddy carapace coating her body and clothing. This was something she could do! She wasn't useless.

She slowly turned her body over so that she was lying on her stomach. Placing her hands on the ground she guided herself up to her hands and knees she could feel the burning sensation in her foot screeching in complaint. Tabi blocked it from her mind, she wasn't going to be weak. She wasn't weak.

Tabi started with her good foot, using that to propel herself in a standing position. A wave of dizziness combined with her left foot almost sent down to the ground again. She bared her teeth tightly and grimaced away the feelings. Ivan hadn't noticed her get up. Of course not, he was worried about how to deal with her problems, not his own. He was worried about how to get her in and out of the riverbank.


Tabi's hands balled up again.

She inhaled deeply.



"No! Let me look at your arm!"


Tabi had caught herself off guard by her own yell and wobbled. Taking a step back with her left foot to steady herself she bit back another surge. Her eyes focused on Ivan. She had to be strong. She was no damsel.

Ivan turned around to look at her. Perhaps it was because she yelled that he was shocked. Maybe she was being to strong about it. Tabi's frown softened. She just wanted to look at that arm, even if that was all she was good for.
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#7

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

For the second time in a row, Ivan's defenses had been utterly penetrated - by the same girl, no less. Tabi had fallen to the ground just moments before, a wilted flower in the middle of a desert. Now she was standing on her own two feet as though fueled by anger, some sort of drive just to prove that she could.

It was hard to believe that he was looking at and listening to the same girl exert so much force in telling him when to do. Ivan continued to stare at her incredulously, knowing full well that he was looking at Tabi, but feeling strangely sure of the fact that he was no longer travelling with the same girl that he had been ten days prior.

Her words and her contempt... maybe shades of disappontment (because that just felt so much better, right?) raised his awareness of the stinging wound on his arm. Maybe... maybe it would truly be the better thing to do to have it looked at. Tabi clearly wanted to look at it so damn bad, there was no point in fighting her. And she had patched him up the last time...

"Fine..." Ivan muttered begrudgingly. His voice contained a lot of frustration, which he hoped she didn't think was aimed at her. But he certainly was frustrated... just at himself more than anything. He shouldn't be weak. She shouldn't have to worry about him when she's so bedraggled herself.

"You come over here, you can look," he challenged. The embankment really wasn't all that steep, so maybe Tabi could walk herself. That is, if she could walk at all.

Show me that you're stronger than me.
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#8

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi paused. There was a relief in knowing that she had at least convince Ivan that his arm was in need of inspection. However, the manner in which he accepted this news was not how she had intended it to happen. Ivan was extremely reluctant to her helping him. Why? Couldn't he tell that she was just trying to help. It was really the only way she could. At least, based on her track record it seemed.

He had asked her to walk over to him. Though Tabi couldn't help but feel as if it was more of a dare. As if he thought she couldn't make it on her own. Was that what it felt like having to stick with her. Did he really think that she was some great albatross around his neck? Although Tabi had surmised that to be the truth on her own, the idea of it being a reality still chilled her.

Still, there was a way to prove to him how wrong that assumption was. She just had to stride over to him and look at that wound. It didn't matter that her left foot stung like hell. She could work through it, just like Ivan claimed that he could work through his shoulder injury. She put on a brave face and began to stride forwards.

As soon as she stepped forwards she could feel the pain in her foot increase tenfold. She found herself lurching to the left when pressure was put down on it. Quickly she stepped forwards with the right foot and urged herself on. Now she was gingerly stepping with her left, knowing full well the limp that Ivan could see, but that didn't matter right now. The two of them could tend to that once the bleeding on Ivan's shoulder stopped. She had to prevent infection if she could. She fully knew what her problem was, but a sprain could be walked off over time. An open wound needed care.

There were a few moments where Tabi nearly fell to the ground, but she was able to keep her balance, if only just. She reached Ivan in less than a minute and instantly clutched at the shirt's sleeve.

"Alright, let me see this," she said, not even sparing a glance up to Ivan.

She lifted it up slightly, trying her hardest to avoid prodding at the rosette that flowed across the old bandage with her muddy fingers. Gently, Tabi undid the bandage and slowly unwrapped it. It didn't take long for Tabi to notice that the cut had reopened itself, just like she had assumed. The wound had to be cleaned and it seemed that in fact they were in luck. There was an actual river, albeit a small one that was flowing north, it's end destination being that of the beach. The water was clean though, perfect for what they needed.

"Alright, we need to change the bandage. I need to clean it so that it can be treated. Alright?"
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#9

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

She managed to reach him, yes. Still, to what extent Tabi could take care of herself worried Ivan. If she thought even for one second that she could hide just how hard it was for her to walk, well... he had been there. He was almost there at this point. Now they both stood in direct defiance of this very fact, leaving him a bit dumbfounded in what to do next. Saying no was no longer a option... not to her, anyway.

Ivan averted his eyes as his arm was taken up by the girl. Even without looking, he could practically feel her eyes inspecting and scrutinizing the wound, caring for him. It was nothing, just a graze. A... a very deep graze caused by a bullet, but just a superficial wound that opened up sometime. He couldn't even remember how the freshly knitted flesh came to rip apart again, but somewhere in the exertion, it must have happened. Maybe when he vaulted over the fallen tree or when he pulled Tabi on more than one occasion. How it got there hardly mattered, now it was just what needed to be done with it.

She told him that it needed to be clean, which was nothing exactly new to him. Wasn't like this was the first time he had ever been injured...

... That nasty dig at the court.
Did... Boh-me-A come on the trip at all? Don't think he did...

Guess I don't have to worry about him. Lucky bastard.


He was brought back to earth by a twinge of pain. He immediately turned to look at his arm, expecting to find Tabi prodding the wound or something. Anything he could fault her for an a moment of irritation and self-loathing, but she was doing just as she was before. Just looking at the unwrapped wound. It twinged again, possibly because he dedicated all of his attention towards looking at it. Now that it was uncovered, droplets of blood dribbled down his arm in a few neat lines. To think one cut could bleed so much was something Ivan never had to see or experience. Before, he could've gotten the proper treatment and not go through hell until it healed up. Even the most brutal sessions of tennis with his mother wouldn't have had the same threat of re-injuring him like this.

He didn't remember peroxide being in the first aid kit, so water would have to do. Water was all they had, and they would just have to make do with it. "Then... let's..." Ivan said softly, beginning to head down the embankment. He stepped slowly and kept his eyes on the ground to watch his footing. The last thing he needed was another spill to make him feel even worse than he already was. And Tabi... why had she been so forceful? Did he really appear all that weak to the point where she needed to care for him that much? What was the issue? The reversal of the situation, the status-quo, continued to evade his grasp.

Ivan finally reached the water's edge and fell back onto the seat of his shorts. Neither of them had bathed or showered since they got here... reasonable, given the whole 'everybody trying to kill everybody else' thing. Sometimes, even when the world around you goes batshit insane, you still have to take a bath. That was one reason of many for washing off in the river: getting clean, taking care of the wounds, and collecting thoughts. So many people had died in order to make Tabi and him amongst the few still remaining alive. He was lucky to be alive... they both were. But for some reason, he still felt dirty about the whole thing.

That was probably something that would never wash off, no matter how hard he tried.
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#10

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi's shoulders relaxed as Ivan turned away. Were this a different time, perhaps she would smile at a victory like this, but there were still important issues at hand. They didn't know if Imraan or another classmate would show up. Time may not be on their side.

Gingerly, she stepped down the slope of the embankment wincing every time her left foot touched the loose soil beneath her. After a few minutes of struggle Tabi had made her way over to Ivan's side. He had taken a seat on the riverbank, his eyes cast down into the clear water that now obscured half of his legs.

A grim sense of familiarity had crept into Tabi's mind. It was a different river of course, but it was as if it was the first day all over again. Things really hadn't changed at all. She was still the weak mess, Ivan the battered hero. She just was glad she hadn't wet herself again.

Deja vu.

Tabi guided herself into a kneeling position right next to her companion. She elected not to speak, choosing to look at him instead. She wished she could know what he was thinking. Whether she really was this albatross that he had elected himself into carrying? Whether she was to blame for this. She knew he wouldn't say it out loud to him but...

She still owed him so much.

Her gaze turned back towards her refection in the water. She could almost laugh at how stupid she looked. She was no longer the beautiful spunky little girl that roamed the halls of Bayview. It seemed that it had all fallen by the wayside and turned into a disastrous mess. she could almost laugh. Almost.

Tabi absently tugged at what was once a peach blouse. It felt slimy against her skin, muddy sweat sticking to her like glue. She shifted uncomfortably, the mud had started to dry and it felt unpleasant underneath her dress.

She had cared about bathing in front of Ivan back on day one. However, it seemed that the concern had vanished. The girl felt foolish back then, worrying about what some boy would see if she was in the water. After all that they had seen. It seemed pointless to worry.

Tabi unfolded her legs, removed her shoes and socks and dipped them into the stream. At first, Tabi squeaked at how cold it was against her skin, but soon she sighed as relief had finally found its way to her ankle. The water rushing past her ankle felt like a gentle breeze brushing past her bare skin. Slowly, Tabi slunk into the water until she was now sitting against the edge of the riverbank.

The dirt came off surprisingly easy when she washed her arms and legs. It was as if it was never really there to begin with. She shook her head and smiled. Somehow, after nearly dying, this was therapeutic to her. It felt good to not be slimy and gross. It was almost like...

Her smile faded.

She was home.

Instantly Tabi felt the urge to continue cleaning herself, wiping clear all the dirt and grime the clung tightly to her face. Her eyes stung when dirty water rolled into them but that faded after a few quick blinks. In her haste to remove the thoughts from her mind she had removed her shirt and started dabbing it into the water, scrubbing it as best as she could to remove the remnants of their encounter with Imraan. Her fingers brushed over something lumpy, making her pause. When she remembered what they were, her body sagged. It was the bullet holes. She started to play with them, poking her fingers through them and out through the other side. Worming themselves in and out, digging imaginary tunnels through the fabric.

"Ivan..."

She said nothing after that for a few seconds, lost in the action her fingers made through her peach blouse. She blinked and then gasped, turning to face him again. She had forgotten why it was that they were in here. There were more important things right now.

Blushing, Tabi moved over to Ivan's legs. She rested her hands on his knees and she gazed up. Her lips flinched up for a moment before she spoke.

"Take of your shirt. Once you do, hop in the water. Okay?"
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#11

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

He would have complied right away under most circumstances. Ivan was itchy, muddy, and a little more than mildly irritated with the ticklish dribbling of blood running down his arm. A good swim... no, he didn't have the energy for that sort of thing. A nice bath in the river would probably feel like heaven at this point. No choice was clearly the right choice as much as just tearing that shirt off and hopping in the water as Tabi had asked. Things turned out a little differently when she asked him while resting on his knees, and without a shirt.

Oh, there was a bra, sure, but it wasn't like he was just looking at any girl in a bra. This was Tabi, a girl he had fought alongside - ... no, that was a hell of a way of thinking it. They weren't soldiers on some sort of battlefield. At least soldiers fought against a clear-cut enemy, with clear-cut goals and orders given to them by a commander. They had no true enemy, not when every face out there was somebody who was in your math class, or on the same kickball team with you. In some sick twisted sense, they did at least have a commanding officer. That commanding officer had given them orders, to boot.

And those orders were...

No. He was given something a bit happier to think about, if a bit more perverse. He tried his best not to stare, praying his glasses were opaque enough to have done the trick. Maybe the bra wouldn't have been so wonderfully distracting if it didn't allow him to see practically straight down it. He couldn't see anything 'important' that would get her flagged for indecency, but it was still more than he was used to being able to see. Ivan cleared his mind the best he could in this situation, tearing his eyes away from Tabi's chest in order to remove his own shirt. Even as dirty as she was, how was it that she still managed to be so damn cute? If anything could keep his head on, it was the sobering (but practical) realization that this was probably as far as she was undressing. That was fine... he respected her privacy. Maybe they were... 'together', but this island was far from a romantic place. They'd just bathe... talk. Try and relax. Anything was okay with Ivan as long as Tabi felt good. She wasn't frowning as hard as before, and this was a good thing.

His own shirt came off with a bit of reluctance on the part of his right arm. He let himself hiss in pain as his arm bent in a way it did not want to bend, forcing the gash on his arm out of shape. Just ignore the pain. The water should make it all better. Tabi wanted to make it all better so damn bad, just... let her. These thoughts ran through his mind on repeat until he managed to muscle out of his shirt. There was still grime covering his body, most of it his own sweat, but at least nothing was trapping it in. That accounted for something.

"I'm going.. just give me a minute," Ivan answered. His shoes were pulled off first without undoing the laces, and his socks (which reeked and were more than a little damp by this point... it'd be wise to give them a change) soon followed. He considered them tucking them in his shoes as though they were clean, but thought better of it and merely hucked them a short distance away. He'd put on fresh socks from his daypack... either his last pair or the second to last one. Now in just his shorts and underwear, Ivan finally obliged Tabi and shuffled himself into the water.

Without easing himself in, the freezing sensation of the water rushing up his body was greater in intensity, but shorter in duration. He was always the kind of person that just liked to dive right into the deep end of the pool rather than easing himself down the ladder. The river wasn't deep enough to just dive into, unfortunately, so a rushed submersion into the river up to his shoulder was the best he could manage.

"C-Cold!" Ivan spat, feeling like an idiot almost immediately after saying it. Of course it was cold. It wasn't like a bath at home. He just hadn't expected the water, running or not, to be THIS cold. He looked back at Tabi, locking his jaw to keep from chattering. Common sense dictated his body would eventually adjust to the temperature and he'd be just fine after that, but first there was still that sensation of bitter, bitter cold he had to fight through.

"W... water's fine, huh?"
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GregTheAnti-Viking†
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#12

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi gently guided herself backwards when Ivan started to shift. He needed some space and being draped over him was not going to help matters. At first, she found herself staring at the toned figure that was hidden under his shirt. Tabi flushed, it wasn't as if she didn't expect anything to be under there, he was on the tennis team after all. Still, it was the first time she had seen him shirtless.

Her attention drifted to his shoulder though and the flush faded away. The blood on his shoulder was starting to dry and soon it would likely clot. She needed to put some water on that before the wound closed up. The dirt and sweat were liable to infect it and if that happened. He could end up just like Maria. She never wanted to see something like that again.

Tabi turned away, shivering at the thought. Ivan said something to her and Tabi mumbled an acknowledgement back to him. Her arms hugged her chest and Tabi took to staring back at her jagged reflection in the water.

She dipped her head into the water, hoping to remove the thoughts that lingered inside her head, but they still lingered inside. The only thing that vanished was the muddy film that stuck to her face and hair. When she popped back up, Ivan had dived into the river.

Ivan's reaction to the water was comical in nature, but Tabi could only feign a smile in response. It all seemed so normal, what they were doing. Swimming in the river, relaxing. It was as if they were actually camping. As if they were on a school trip. It all seemed so normal, and yet, the moment felt so out of place.

Her gaze drifted back to the wound. They had nearly died again. They were being chased by a shotgun wielding classmate early today. He had nearly died. All because she could do nothing to stop it from happening.

"Water is fine. Just, stay there for a second, I'll go get some stuff from the bag. I'll... I'll be right back."

Tabi coasted her way across the water back to the half-haphazardly discarded bag that she had placed on the river bank. She dug deep inside of it's confines and found an empty plastic bottle. She cast her gaze over to her slowly drying shirt and then back to her blouse and bra. Memories from her first day on the island reminded her of how freezing it was to walk around in wet clothing and for all her worrying about infection.

Tabi glanced down her waist.

"Iv-"

Did it even matter if he saw anymore?








No.



Tabi's hands pulled down both her skirt and panties, resting them right next to her already discarded blouse. Her hands reached behind her, fumbling around with the buckles until it finally draped off of her with a splash into the water.

Ivan had probably heard that. And yet it didn't matter. She just gently placed it down with the rest of her possessions. The sight of them laying there was hypnotic to her, or perhaps it was the thoughts that lingered in her mind. There were so many things that she had wanted to say before, but it had all passed her by. There had never been any time to say it to him. They had been shot at, watched people die in front of them (by their own hands), they had run so far, they were in perpetual movement.

Now they were in stasis. Thoughts laid out bare before them, waiting to escape. If there was a time to say it...

Tabi turned to the side, hands flexing tightly on the unmarked bottle.

"Ivan..."




Now was the time.



"Can we. Can we talk?"
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MK Kilmarnock
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#13

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

Those were not words Ivan wanted to hear.

The frigid temperature of the water penetrated him to the core and gripped at his heart. When a girl said something like that, it never meant anything good. The futility of the arrangement the two held was something Ivan had tried to ignore. Many of the others were in relationships, but those ties had been forged in Bayview's halls or on the streets of St. Paul. This had to be something different, something that Ivan would have deemed impossible if he weren't living through it at this very moment. Somehwere, amidst the hell and the bloodshed, he had managed to fall for the clingy girl who wet herself when threatened with an umbrella. And he wanted to believe deep down in his heart that she loved him too. Yet, how reasonable would it be to expect her to remain steadfast and sure in a trying place like this?

No, that would be too unfair a thing to ask of her. The love they had for each other was one doomed from the start. Precious and beautiful it may have been, but that would not stop the gruesome machine from running over it, tearing it to shreds in the threshers of reality. Much like a baby bird born at the onset of winter, true love would have very little time to blossom before it would be snatched away. At least one of the two had to die, and that was under the slim circumstances either one of them lived at all. Just the very image of a bloodstained and breathless Tabi strewn across the grass made Ivan all that much colder.

So maybe this was what Tabi wanted to talk about. End it in a far less cruel way, before things got out of hand. To take it back to the roots of mere companionship. For some reason, the speculation hurt Ivan far more than any strain of logic born from his mind ever could. Still, unflinching and unrevealing of his own inner turmoil, he had to ask.

"... About what?"

The weight of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose became glaringly noticeable. He didn't wish to lose his favorite pair of glasses, but a matter like that was of the least of his worries. Should he need perfect vision to survive this whole mess, he always had the non-tinted pair... the pair that was probably more practical in the long run when he thought about it, but the shade of green was a protective and easing layer between him and the rest of the world. A layer that seldom came down, but it had before in the presence of the girl somewhere behind him. Taking them off right now and setting them on the bank would require looking at her, but those words... he didn't want to see her face. He didn't want to see if what he feared might be written all over her visage.

Fighting back the urge to chatter his teeth from the cold sensation that still wrapped around his body, Ivan waved his left arm just under the surface of the water. It made a sort of bulging ripple... if only he could do such a thing out of absent-mindedness. Far too much plagued his conciousness for that to happen. Too many things went on in his brain at once.

Just tell me what you have to say.
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GregTheAnti-Viking†
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#14

Post by GregTheAnti-Viking† »

Tabi's lips folded over each other. There was fear in Ivan's voice. Of course at this point, fear was probably second nature to the both of them by now. Fear had dominated their actions. Fear had dominated her words. For the past twelve days, fear had dominated Tabi's life.

It seemed that Ivan was only starting to show it now. It was cruelly comforting to know that the same fear that she had, was shared with her partner. It seemed that at least in one way, the two of them were equal in this river. Equally vulnerable.

Tabi brushed aside the strands of hairs that dangled limply in front of her face. If she was to be heard, she would want it possible for the two of them to look straight at each other. Her eyes hadn't moved, they were still focused on the Northern horizon.

She tightly squeezed the freshly refilled water bottle. While Tabi was ready to finally talk to Ivan. There was so much that she wished to know. So much that she desperately needed to say. The question most paramount to her now, was where to start?

Tabi gulped. It was better to start big, it was like ripping off a band aid. Or removing clothing. It was better to just let the issue be seen plainly before everyone involved.

"I'm, a burden..."

She winced at her own words. It really was astonishing to Tabi how much the fears she had held within her head hurt when spoken aloud. Saying them out loud just turned the ghost-like thoughts into corporeal realities. She wanted to break down right now, it would have been easier to just do so.

But wasn't that how we got here?

She took in a shaky breath, closing her eyes for a mere moment to collect herself as best she could.

"Aren't I?"

Tabi turned her head to look at Ivan. She knew she was shaking now, but she couldn't stop it. It was too cold, the water. The reality. All of it was too cold and she couldn't stop shivering.

The moment had gone silent, as she awaited confirmation from Ivan.
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MK Kilmarnock
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#15

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

This question again. How many times had they gone over this? Tabi felt like a burden to him because of the times he had saved her, but hadn't they already talked about the time she saved him? They must have... this was a double effort, something that neither one of them would be able to accomplish without the other. He just had to drill that into her head before her own depression consumed her. A groan clawed its way past Ivan's lips, and he turned to the left to look at her.

"No, for the last-" Ivan did not get very far before he was silenced by her appearance. It wasn't exactly her face that silenced him, either. To his credit, that was the first place he looked, now that he no longer feared to see the look on her face as she said it was through. There was the usual pain, but it was the kind of pain he wanted to comfort her through. The kind he could actually manage to comfort her through. The silence came when his eyes fell to look at the rest of her.

Tabi was wearing a bra a minute ago, wasn't she? The girl was turned away from him slightly, and hunkered down into the water, but it didn't take too much of a long look to determine that she wasn't wearing anything over her chest. Besides, she was only just so low enough that it barely hid anything important. Which, upon closer inspection, it...

Ivan hurriedly turned back and resumed the position of looking away at her, his ears burning. Of all the inappropriate times to feel like this, even... they were trying to sift through more problems, Tabi feeling useless ('again', he thought with an inward groan), and he had to get all pubescent at seeing her topless. For the first time since he'd known her. All alone in the peacefulness of the river. Washing up and-

Stop that!

Ivan screamed at himself so vividly in his head that he thought for a moment he might've said it out loud. He had to focus... not think about the fact his girlfriend wasn't wearing a shirt right now, and deal with the problem at hand.

"You're not a burden... stop... saying that."
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