Re: I Came In The Name Of The Dead, To Bring My Neck To The Blade
Posted: Sat Sep 28, 2019 12:32 am
Nick sorta wished that he had had the chance to have a proper goodbye with Axel, but, all in all, he'd gotten a better sendoff with Axel than he had with Beryl. Or any of the people that he'd lost and he hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to. The fact that he'd been able to have a conversation with Axel - as lethargic and monosyllabic as it was - was a relative luxury in these times, and he had to admit that being able to talk to someone without the shroud of island drama and conflict immovably looming over was them certainly something to be relieved about.
Like, okay, of course the realities of the island had still loomed over them. But they'd be able to joke and gel and interact and all that stuff, their pre-island chemistry was still there. After a while, talk about fear and preparation and having to be paranoid around each other could be temporarily shelved, and that was relaxing as fuck. Nick was certainly overanalysing this and placing way more importance on his relationship with Axel than was justifiable because of what he represented and how Nick had, somewhat unfairly, placed a lot of symbolism onto that conversation.
So yes, he sorta wished that Axel hadn't used that sudden return of island chaos to slip away and that the flight or fight reflex that this island was so good at producing hadn't been triggered yet again, but honestly, Nick wouldn't complain too much about it. He would take small blessings wherever they arose, rather than thinking about the what-ifs and the narrow missed opportunities. He'd try to, at least. Sorta hard to impose that kind of internal discipline on his brain, especially when it alternated between pounding headaches and crippling self-loathing and settled on very few more serene places in between.
But hey. Worth the effort. Probably.
Axel had seen what was going on before Nick had, and Nick froze in place for a few seconds, staring in confusion as he processed the scene, trying not to be governed by his instincts too much (because fuck them, they hadn't done much to prove their trustworthiness), and trying to work out what to make of this scene. How best to intervene. Who was to blame.
Nick realised he'd never get satisfactory answers for those questions, least of all the last one, and had to fall back on that old shortcut of loyalty. Walking up behind Garnet, he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her off. Knowing it'd likely be quite scary, justifiably so, he tried talking with a soothing and conciliatory tone. "Alright guys, break this up!" he said, knowing that the words would sound hollow and ludicrous leaving his lips, even though he had not intended them as such. He didn't have his knife on him though. That was still in the back of the cave. He'd need to grab that later.
Like, okay, of course the realities of the island had still loomed over them. But they'd be able to joke and gel and interact and all that stuff, their pre-island chemistry was still there. After a while, talk about fear and preparation and having to be paranoid around each other could be temporarily shelved, and that was relaxing as fuck. Nick was certainly overanalysing this and placing way more importance on his relationship with Axel than was justifiable because of what he represented and how Nick had, somewhat unfairly, placed a lot of symbolism onto that conversation.
So yes, he sorta wished that Axel hadn't used that sudden return of island chaos to slip away and that the flight or fight reflex that this island was so good at producing hadn't been triggered yet again, but honestly, Nick wouldn't complain too much about it. He would take small blessings wherever they arose, rather than thinking about the what-ifs and the narrow missed opportunities. He'd try to, at least. Sorta hard to impose that kind of internal discipline on his brain, especially when it alternated between pounding headaches and crippling self-loathing and settled on very few more serene places in between.
But hey. Worth the effort. Probably.
Axel had seen what was going on before Nick had, and Nick froze in place for a few seconds, staring in confusion as he processed the scene, trying not to be governed by his instincts too much (because fuck them, they hadn't done much to prove their trustworthiness), and trying to work out what to make of this scene. How best to intervene. Who was to blame.
Nick realised he'd never get satisfactory answers for those questions, least of all the last one, and had to fall back on that old shortcut of loyalty. Walking up behind Garnet, he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her off. Knowing it'd likely be quite scary, justifiably so, he tried talking with a soothing and conciliatory tone. "Alright guys, break this up!" he said, knowing that the words would sound hollow and ludicrous leaving his lips, even though he had not intended them as such. He didn't have his knife on him though. That was still in the back of the cave. He'd need to grab that later.