SOTF Archive/SOTF Classic

Raina didn't say anything in response to Darius. Everything he spewed was nothing but bile, nothing but nastiness, every single word he ever spoke perfectly encapsulating just what sort of person Darius was.

God, she hated him.

He was evil. A petty, irritating sort of evil, the kind that wrapped itself up in incompetence so it could take, and take, and take without ever giving anything of value back. Darius was no great historic villain, no matter how much he might have wanted to be. He was nasty and vile, but hardly a visionary. He would never accomplish anything, and someday, probably someday very soon, everyone would forget  he had ever existed in the first place.

It startled Raina to realize how much satisfaction she took from that thought.

It startled her more to realize that as Darius spoke, her hand had crept towards the zipper of her bag, where the grenade lay within.

Darius storming out and Lili speaking up saved her from having to consider all the implications there. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, wondered why her heart was pounding. She spared Lili a glance, curious, almost interested.

"What kind of stuff and where?"

Johnny didn't add anything, and Raina didn't ask him to.

"The library," Lili breathed, watching Darius storm off, "My own stuff, Darius' bag, and one other girl's things should be in the library if nobody's taken them or moved them. Just some more general supplies, but that's always welcome, right?"

Darius' departure didn't shake her in the slightest. Some lower part of her was glad that he was gone, while another voice called for her to attempt to mend the situation. This second voice she drowned out quickly. Lili had never been the type to play the role of peacekeeper, and now wasn't going to be the time that she started. Besides, she was openly planning to go and take his things. It'd be a big crutch in the coming days as Lili attempted to figure out what it was she intended to do with herself in Spiderland.

The name she came up with sounded like an amusement park. Something cheesy and Halloween themed. She'd never been on a roller coaster before, but she imagined that the alleged 'thrill' was really just an upset stomach.

"Your name isn't really Hatsune, I'm guessing," she said, turning and watching as Johnny came closer. Her blue hair looked a bit like Asuka's, the more she thought about it. If there was one person she wanted to meet with, it was Asuka. A good friend would be great comfort, especially this late into their stay. If it weren't for her body disposal detour, Lili would've probably died of boredom without a good talking partner. This whole time, she'd been in search of someone she knew, even if she had abandoned one such person. That calling she felt had led her to Darius. Looking back, holding back on that impulse, that need to move forward for the sake of having somewhere to move, would've saved her a lot of trouble.

Silently, she prayed that Darius would find safety, and pushed him out of her mind.

Raina sighed, airy and almost inaudible.

"No," she said, trying to be firm. "It's Raina." Thanks for nothing, Darius.

General supplies, huh? She and Johnny weren't running low yet. They couldn't build a radio with protein bars, and having the wrong Lily/i on their side wouldn't help much. One more person to look after, one more person they might have to abandon if the going got tough.

But a cursory search made it obvious that there was nothing here for them anyway.

"Maybe," she said softly. 'Maybe' was better than 'I don't know'. Then, "Do you have a plan?" Something besides 'get supplies, don't die'. Something concrete, something real. Something more than Raina had come up with so far.

"Raina," Lili repeated, "For what it's worth, I really like your name." This wasn't the time for forced sentimentality, but she knew there was nothing else she could say in the moment that wasn't complete drivel. There were so many thoughts rushing through her mind, the rush that came with suddenly not rushing. She wasn't too sure if she could handle being around people at the moment. Anxiousness began to creep in, filling her mind like the waters of a flash flood. It felt like all of her worries were going to spill out of her ears. A familiar feeling.

She'd been here before.

"No plan," Lili admitted, "Nothing really besides 'get my things back,' I guess. I think I'm going to go over there now, actually. If you wanna come with, that's cool, but I think I might need some time to myself for a moment."

Lili felt like there were hands inside of herself, pushing on the limits of her skin to try and break through and grasp the open air.

She blinked, and stammered out "Well it was nice to meet you, I've got to run, seeya," before she started to jog out of the room. As she crossed the threshold of the door, she took a look back at Raina and Johnny. She hoped they'd end up okay.

Lili smiled at them, and continued on her way.

[Lili Williams continued in Death Is The Only Freedom...]

And with a smile and a meaningless compliment, Lili was gone, and Raina couldn't explain why she was seeing red.

No plan, Lili had said. Casually. Like it didn't matter that she was staring into the face of certain death and couldn't come up with a single goddamn thing to do about it.

Raina had a plan, the scraps of a plan, the shreds of her first-day false bravado. She had that, and she had Johnny, and wasn't he a fucking ray of helpful sunshine today? Johnny Ray of Sunshine. Ha.

Lili said she needed a minute. Join the club, take a number. Raina slapped the flat of her palm against the side of the shelf in front of her, got nothing but a stinging hand, and spun to glare at Johnny, once again unconsciously banking on the fact that neither of them would comment on her watering eyes.

"I'm going," she said shakily. She didn't know where. She didn't know why. But she couldn't be here anymore, surrounded by useless junk. In her deepest, nastiest, most fleeting thoughts, she concluded that Johnny fit right in at the warehouse. "I'm going for a bit, don't follow me."

Darius, Lili, Johnny, Alvaro, Jasper-

It was too much. Something or other had tipped the scale, broken the camel's back, and now she needed to leave before she came apart like all of her plans and metaphors.

So Raina stepped outside, and thought for a moment about how she wasn't an athlete and was wearing terrible shoes, and then she ran.

((Raina Rose continued in Hemochromatosis))

[[Taking Over]]

She told him to stay. She glared at him, and looking into her watery eyes startled him. Back then. She was leaving. For a bit, as she said. And Johnny agreed, as he said. He didn't want her to leave, but he didn't want to stop her either.

And there was a shimmer of hope somewhere in Johnny. Something about how Raina really was just going for a bit. How she would just need a walk in the fresh air. To collect her thoughts and then come back.

Time passed, and by then Johnny knew that it just wasn't true. Lili had a plan. Raina had a plan, too. Maybe. A plan she went on to execute, and it was a plan without Johnny. He had a plan, as well. An inkling of a plan in either case. Didn't work out that much anyway. Not anymore, at least.

Johnny had waited a little bit longer. He had still hoped that, if he just kept his composure and waited, he would go right back on track. Raina would come back. That would be fine. Then he would be happy. For a moment, at least, until something else happened.

Raina had asked for him to not follow her. Finally, he chose to disrespect her request.

[[Johnny McKay, continued in Wait, don't be hasty]]