The Gang Goes Out For Breakfast

[Jan de Witt]

If Camilla's words had first only alluded to her poor opinion of him, this confirmed it. His calm disappeared in a flash, being replaced by a hurt anger born of betrayal. "What?! Is that what you think I'm doing?!" He drew into himself angrily. "What I'm trying to do is stay strong and clear-headed, so I can do something other than cry!"

Suddenly, even he realized the blatant falsity of his façade of strength. But he couldn't stop now. "Did you think I wouldn't feel anything? When they were some of the only people I'd ever trusted?! It's so easy for you, you're so sure of yourself, always the leader, always the protector." Theo quieted, almost talking to himself. "But I'm not. I can't even write or talk to anyone without being scared. The Club people were the ... the first friends I've ever had." He paused. "They were just some of your many friends, while I lost nearly everyone I knew!" Theo inhaled furiously, preparing himself for an extension of his tirade.

Then he abruptly deflated, sinking ever so slowly to the ground. His voice broke as easily as his posture. He was crying freely now, his vision blurred and wobbly. Angling his head vaguely in Camilla's direction, he tried to steady his voice. "W-h-what did you th-think I w-was doing Cam-milla!? D-do you think I d-don't c-car-re?"

His composure had collapsed completely by this point, and his words were a confused mess of weeping and shouts. "I want to think about them, to remember them one last time! But if I let myself think about it at all, th-this happens! I know I'm useless, and that I d-don't know how to do anything! I was just trying not to worry you! I thought that, maybe, if I could be strong for once, you wouldn't hate me!" Finished, he allowed himself one last glance at her. He had had his outburst. Now was the time for the consequences.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

Camilla stepped back, in surprise. She'd never seen Theo angry. At some point, she might have seen one of her friends angry, but never directed at her.

She just kept staring as Theo ranted, dissolved into a crying mess.

...she did have a few friends outside the gardening club. They were few, but she had them. Theo didn't even have that? Why didn't she know this before?

It was her fault she didn't know. It was her fault that Theo was mad at her. It was her fault for splitting the party and letting Diego wander off, it was her fault Declyn got lost, it was her fault she wasn't there for the people who needed her most-

And yet, no matter how hard she tried, this island would still be misery, wouldn't it? Her friends would suffer the way Drew and Declyn did, because of the heartless among them.

No matter how much she tried to keep them together, her family was broken. Again.

Everything, for nothing.

And it would stay that way.

There was no point anymore. No, there never was.

She kneeled in front of Theo, and raised a hand towards his shoulder, before putting it down again. Slowly, she breathed in, and let it out.

A few seconds of golden silence.

"I don't hate you," she murmured. "This island... it's changed us, hasn't it?"

She wanted to see Drew again.

Didn't he?

"I just wish none of us got caught up in this."

She just wanted them to all be together again.

Camilla raised her hands again.

"Theo... let's go home."

Her fingers curled around his neck.

[Jan de Witt]

Theo braced himself for an outpouring of vitriol, for his failings to be outlined in excruciating detail. But in the end, his fears were unwarranted. With Camilla's assurances of forgiveness, he felt himself getting calmer. He even found himself chuckling sadly at the sheer obviousness of her comment on the island changing them. He saw her try to hug him, then drop back. Perhaps that was for the best; he still wasn't sure he was entirely fine with resuming their previous closeness. Then she inexplicably suggested they go home. He stared at her incredulously. "What? How?" Surely she realized that escape would be impossible by this point?

But instead of answering, she placed her hands around his neck uncomfortably. Even if her support was welcome, he still wasn't ready for so much physicality so soon after the announcements. He placed his hands Camila's arms and tried to push her away politely, but he was facing far more resistance than he should have been. Suddenly, her words about going home made a horrible sense. Panicking now, he tried to force her to get off.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

Camilla made her choice, and as much as she wanted to pull away, smile, and claim it was just a dark joke, it wouldn't make things right. Nothing would make things right anymore, because nothing could bring her friends back, nothing could undo the damage that had already been done.

Wherever one went, the rest would follow. And if one couldn't reach the rest, they'd reach them instead.

So she didn't let go. She forced herself to tighten her grip, amidst the struggling. And she remained silent.

It was okay. She'd join him soon. It was okay. That's what she kept telling herself.

They'd all be together again soon.

And then nothing could ever keep them apart.

That's what she told herself.

[Jan de Witt]

In his own mind, the warning signs finally came together. The questions about the afterlife, the blind hope that they would find the others, the endless duties Camilla buried herself under. Could he have prevented this? Probably not; he would have only died faster without her. But still, it was nice to imagine that, in some series of events, he could have survived on his own.

Theo continued to struggle, but his efforts were for naught. He could already feel himself weakening against her iron grip, his attempts to wrench hands away now reduced to merely pawing powerlessly at her arms. Talking was useless; his words had already been choked out, and he doubted she was still open to persuasion regardless. He was so emotionally exhausted that he couldn't even cry or rage against his situation.

By this point, he realized that any further resistance would be futile. His only hope now was to be saved by a random passerby, but would they even want or be able to interfere? Barring any unexpected intervention, this was the end. So he stopped trying, letting his arms fall to his sides and simply waiting for the end to come.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

Camilla didn't let go.

Someday, she would never have to.

[Jan de Witt]

All Theo could do now was watch and resign himself to the fate he had always known was his. Just as with Drew, and with Declyn, and with Diego, when he needed to act, all he could do was play the observer. It was ironic, in a way; a kind of cosmic joke at his expense. All he was left with were his thoughts and memories. His first efforts at writing; the proceeding dismal failures. Constant study and quiet seclusion. Hiding away from the world in words he would never share. And then, joining a club. Learning how to make things grow. Meeting people who he could talk to, even in a limited way. It was almost poetic that the truly happy moments in his life had been spent with the people he ended his days with. In a macabre way, he could even see how Camilla could think she was protecting him.

He wanted to say that his life had been a good one, that he had made others' lives in some way easier, but he could not. It had always been the others who had saved him, protected him, had faith in him. He, on the other hand, had failed everyone who had trusted him, and now his last act would be to fail himself. In that, at least, he had fulfilled expectations.

Then, even his mental world began to fall away. With those sorry realizations, he closed his eyes, and all his struggles were indeed over.

B074 - Theophilus "Theo" Walterson: DECEASED

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

Was he dead?

Camilla would have thought that she'd know when Theo went limp, but she didn't. She still wasn't sure now. It felt like an eternity and at some point she let go despite herself. Theo - or rather, his corpse - fell before her.

Her hands shook, as she lay them to rest in her lap. She closed her eyes, and tried to breathe. It felt wrong, to even try. It felt wrong to still be able to try. It felt like her head was spinning.

She wanted to see them all.
Why had she lived this long?
Would Auntie ever know?

Those thoughts joined together and broke apart just as easily. She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, before she opened her eyes.

Camilla wasn't raised to run from life's duties, never mind that all this was exactly her goal in a way. She slowly lifted herself up, took a deep breath, and took hold of Theo's body, carrying it from where it fell, to a tree. Propping it up against the trunk, hoping that would bring even the smallest sense of dignity to it all.

From there, she looked to his bag. She got up, and walked to it. Kneeled next to it, reached for the strap-

But it didn't feel right to take it. It wasn't like she'd need it, anyway.

So, would she need her own bag?

A familiar voice, from within it. Camilla unzipped the bag and took out the walkie talkie.

"-you there? It’s Henry."

Her reply was more monotone than it should have been.

"Henry."

Seemingly more looking for any sort of response, Henry went on. "Oh, good. Good. I was - was hoping you were still turning your set on every day, I know I missed a few.”

For some reason, her throat still burned. "How are things on your end?"

“Honestly… not good. You heard about Marco. He was - he didn’t leave us any other choice. Didn’t change anything though, I just keep losing people. Jackson first. Then Lizzie. She was an accident. Morgan’s.... well, what you’d expect. Aurelien’s still here, thankfully. Holding it together, as much as he can. "

Marco died? The one that killed Arianna? Jackson and Lizzie too? She couldn't remember if she'd heard any of this before. Henry interrupted her thoughts.

"Are, uhh - are you okay?"

Camilla didn't know how to respond. Instead, she decided to ask a question of her own. "I... didn't catch the danger zones today."

“Oh. I see, they uh - they’re the Menagerie and the Upper Wilds, on the map. Apparently the Menagerie is just off limits for good now.”

That was fine. She didn't miss the stables.

But then Henry came back to his first question- "Camilla? Are you hurt, what’s up?"

What was Camilla supposed to tell him? That she strangled one of her treasured friends? Even if there was some circumstance where he could accept it, she doubted hers was one of them.

But she didn't want to lie. Yet, her voice remained quiet, as though she did not want to be heard. In a way, she didn't. "I was with Theo and Diego earlier. But now they're..."

She fell silent.

"They're what? What happened?" Henry pressed.

"Diego left. Don't know where he is. Theo... Theo's dead."

There, she said it. Not the whole truth, the important bits- but eventually, he'd find out anyway. But there was something else that she needed to say.

Camilla took in a breath, and calmly informed him, "This might be the last time we talk. Like this, anyway."

"What do you mean?" He sounded unnerved, understandably so. Camilla knew he'd figure out.

"Theo, how did he..." The tiny pause as he cut off his question told her that he'd figured out just enough. "Look, we don't have to talk like this. We could meet somewhere. I know it's bad but it's not over yet, we can - we can still try. There's still time."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"If you want to meet up, I'm heading south. Towards the waterfall." At least, that's where she remembered it was, seeing the map in her head.

It felt only fair, despite everything. If Henry still wanted to try, he was welcome to try. And if he did, Camilla would tell him everything. Hopefully after that, he would let her go.

"...I should thank you, for everything," she added, a thought that came to her all of a sudden.

"Of course, we'll start heading there right away. You - you shouldn't thank me. I haven't done anything that mattered. I wish I had but... I didn't. I'm sorry."

It almost sounded like something Theo would say. She immediately reassured, "It did matter to me."

And it did. Maybe it didn't go that far. Yet she wondered what would have happened, if she ended up completely alone on the night Beryl died. The day she found Bert's corpse. Maybe in hindsight, it was delaying the inevitable. Didn't mean it didn't mean anything.

"Whether or not I see you again, I wish you well."

For a moment, silence.

"I'm glad. I hope we speak again. I'll do my best to make it happen. Just in case though - Goodbye, Camilla. You mattered. We all did. Try and remember that."

Camilla tried to smile, even bittersweetly, at hearing it.

She couldn't.

"Goodbye, Henry."

With that, the walkie talkie slipped out of her hands, and fell at her feet.

She fished for the compass, and checked it. South, that way. Good to know. With that, she lifted her bag onto her shoulder, stood up, and walked away. Tried not to look at Theo as she left.

At least she wouldn't have to live with it all for too much longer.

[Camilla Bell continued Beauty is Pain. Happiness is a Weapon.]