I'm So Fucking Grateful
morning of day 7
- TheLordOfAwesome
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Morning came, the sun rising in the horizon and some of the sunlight filtered through the environment and landed on Lucas' face. Stirred from his slumber, Lucas sat up. He had slept good, despite laying in the dirt. Much better than he thought he would have gotten given the circumstances. Fortunately he was not disturbed last night by any dreams of horror that should have rightfully plagued his mind. Not that he could remember if he had dreamed that is.
He looked to his side, towards what was doubtless the source of his lack of unpleasant dreams.
He did still feel some level of guilt about what happened, but in the end he felt like he needed it. Having sex with Tonya was good for him, and no doubt good for her. They both needed to distract themselves from all the negative emotions that had been flaring up the last few days. If it were for the fact she was naked right beside him, he would have probably thought he had dreamed the encounter up. He felt as though he remembered every detail and yet somehow felt like it was all a blur. Hard to really say when he was all fucked up in the head with emotions while pounding away at a girl.
Still, he smiled at Tonya's unconscious form. It was... nice while it had lasted. He didn't see the two of them getting romantically involved after this moment as this was just two emotionally damaged people coming together to try and relieve themselves of the pain for even a moment, but it was still a good thing.
Kelly was awake and greeted him. She seemed unconcerned that he was naked, nor was he particular bothered by her presence while he was.
He smirked at her and shrugged.
"Being watched stopped being an issue, I guess. But yeah, too late." he said. "Didn't stop you from watching at any rate."
He looked to his side, towards what was doubtless the source of his lack of unpleasant dreams.
He did still feel some level of guilt about what happened, but in the end he felt like he needed it. Having sex with Tonya was good for him, and no doubt good for her. They both needed to distract themselves from all the negative emotions that had been flaring up the last few days. If it were for the fact she was naked right beside him, he would have probably thought he had dreamed the encounter up. He felt as though he remembered every detail and yet somehow felt like it was all a blur. Hard to really say when he was all fucked up in the head with emotions while pounding away at a girl.
Still, he smiled at Tonya's unconscious form. It was... nice while it had lasted. He didn't see the two of them getting romantically involved after this moment as this was just two emotionally damaged people coming together to try and relieve themselves of the pain for even a moment, but it was still a good thing.
Kelly was awake and greeted him. She seemed unconcerned that he was naked, nor was he particular bothered by her presence while he was.
He smirked at her and shrugged.
"Being watched stopped being an issue, I guess. But yeah, too late." he said. "Didn't stop you from watching at any rate."
Not having clothes on honestly looked like a godsend, with how prickly the sun already felt on her skin, oven-roasting what she'd hidden away behind shirt and shoes. Pretty annoying to have to fend off the smallness of jealousy even this late into the game. She stayed hating, apparently.
Also, she made no effort to disguise the particular feature of his bare body her eyes honed onto. He'd brought it up- they could have ignored that elephant in the room and shared a perfectly pleasant morning chat, otherwise!
Also also, it looked... painful? Like, how was something like that supposed to fit? Maybe it was just an optical illusion, some inversion of car mirror effects. Still. Kelly tasted a somber mote, mixed into the kitsch. It was starkly gross, how a moment like this, that should have been pure and innocent in the awkward way, was bundled with the grim reality of what they as a class had been reduced to. What had to be done.
"Was hoping you wouldn't bring it up?" She was still smiling, eyes briefly averted, then back to... all that.
"I'll be honest with you, I don't have the most experience? With that sort of thing. I wasn't being a lech, just curious... and, honestly, bored as hell. Not much else to do besides be afraid of every unknown noise in the dark."
She wondered how anyone wandering through the woods that night would have interpreted Lucas and Tonya's unbridled noisemaking efforts.
"That is not, by the way, explicitly an invite for you to make a pass at me... Uh, I think, anyways." Pause, into awkward implication she hadn't quite intended. Now where had that little one-two come from? Kelly surely hadn't intended to leave the door open, as far as she was probably personally concerned.
Also, she made no effort to disguise the particular feature of his bare body her eyes honed onto. He'd brought it up- they could have ignored that elephant in the room and shared a perfectly pleasant morning chat, otherwise!
Also also, it looked... painful? Like, how was something like that supposed to fit? Maybe it was just an optical illusion, some inversion of car mirror effects. Still. Kelly tasted a somber mote, mixed into the kitsch. It was starkly gross, how a moment like this, that should have been pure and innocent in the awkward way, was bundled with the grim reality of what they as a class had been reduced to. What had to be done.
"Was hoping you wouldn't bring it up?" She was still smiling, eyes briefly averted, then back to... all that.
"I'll be honest with you, I don't have the most experience? With that sort of thing. I wasn't being a lech, just curious... and, honestly, bored as hell. Not much else to do besides be afraid of every unknown noise in the dark."
She wondered how anyone wandering through the woods that night would have interpreted Lucas and Tonya's unbridled noisemaking efforts.
"That is not, by the way, explicitly an invite for you to make a pass at me... Uh, I think, anyways." Pause, into awkward implication she hadn't quite intended. Now where had that little one-two come from? Kelly surely hadn't intended to leave the door open, as far as she was probably personally concerned.
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- TheLordOfAwesome
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Lucas looked her over before shrugging. She didn't want him to bring it up? Well, too bad. He didn't make her sit there and watch as he fucked Tonya. She could have walked away, gone to sleep in another part of the stable, or hell even run away from the two of them while they went at it in the moonlit opening. For one reason or another she stayed. She gave her reasoning, but he'd be lying if he were to say she convinced him.
Slowly he stood up, allowing himself to stretch his legs. They kind of hurt after that night, so it was good to stand up. He was still very much naked and in front of Kelly, but he was very much beyond the point of caring right now. She saw him rail Tonya on the dirt floor, why should he be concerned about his modesty.
Besides, it wasn't like she was being subtle where her eyes were lingering.
"You don't sound so sure about that," he said, folding his arms. "You can try and relax you know? Considering everything going on, no one would blame you for indulging a little."
Was that the best line he had? No. But for some reason he just wanted to reassure her. He had made passes at her back at the manor, but she showed little interest then. Now? He could, figuratively, smell the blood in the water. He still felt pretty shitty about what happened last night, so getting the chance to further block out the pain was just so alluring to him right now. The high from last night was dying, and the pain was coming back. The guilt, the shame, the loss of Camille... It was coming back and he if could convince her, then he could put up the wall once again.
Slowly he stood up, allowing himself to stretch his legs. They kind of hurt after that night, so it was good to stand up. He was still very much naked and in front of Kelly, but he was very much beyond the point of caring right now. She saw him rail Tonya on the dirt floor, why should he be concerned about his modesty.
Besides, it wasn't like she was being subtle where her eyes were lingering.
"You don't sound so sure about that," he said, folding his arms. "You can try and relax you know? Considering everything going on, no one would blame you for indulging a little."
Was that the best line he had? No. But for some reason he just wanted to reassure her. He had made passes at her back at the manor, but she showed little interest then. Now? He could, figuratively, smell the blood in the water. He still felt pretty shitty about what happened last night, so getting the chance to further block out the pain was just so alluring to him right now. The high from last night was dying, and the pain was coming back. The guilt, the shame, the loss of Camille... It was coming back and he if could convince her, then he could put up the wall once again.
"There are people who would. Actually."
There were many questions she'd have to answer on the other side. There was a universal abundance of people who didn't understand, who did judge, whose tiny universes tried to intrude onto her own, obnoxious like the drip of leaky pipes.
"Whatever you think I'm worried about, I assure you its not that."
Could have been any number of things. Her innocence, her decency, her privacy... all tools, palettes of a paint brush she'd have to learn to wield like a craftsman of old. Those renaissance men from times so immemorial they were, indeed, just men. She was the someone who had to dare to be something more.
And, ideally, not be reduced to a bitch in heat panting for a bone.
"If you wanna sit..." There was space to spare on the tree stump. It even looked possibly smooth enough to be inviting to bare ass. "Is that really what you think is so important right now? Hedonism for the apocalypse?" She quirked an eyebrow. Smiled, as something occurred to her.
"It makes for a phenomenal movie script, doesn't it? An aesthetic that's just begging for gratuitous erotica."
There were many questions she'd have to answer on the other side. There was a universal abundance of people who didn't understand, who did judge, whose tiny universes tried to intrude onto her own, obnoxious like the drip of leaky pipes.
"Whatever you think I'm worried about, I assure you its not that."
Could have been any number of things. Her innocence, her decency, her privacy... all tools, palettes of a paint brush she'd have to learn to wield like a craftsman of old. Those renaissance men from times so immemorial they were, indeed, just men. She was the someone who had to dare to be something more.
And, ideally, not be reduced to a bitch in heat panting for a bone.
"If you wanna sit..." There was space to spare on the tree stump. It even looked possibly smooth enough to be inviting to bare ass. "Is that really what you think is so important right now? Hedonism for the apocalypse?" She quirked an eyebrow. Smiled, as something occurred to her.
"It makes for a phenomenal movie script, doesn't it? An aesthetic that's just begging for gratuitous erotica."
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Another shrug.
Her choice, her loss. He wasn't exactly going to pressure her into doing it. It isn't fun if only one person wanted to have fun. If she felt that she had her reasons then she had her reasons. Still, it was just a little bothersome as the feelings of depression built up.
"I think that was a movie actually," He said, walking over to the tree stump, narrowly avoiding Kelly. "At I think it might have been. I was never big into sexploitation films. If there hasn't been, then I would be genuinely surprised."
He took a seat on the stump, then looked over to Kelly with a sad smile.
"But I guess that could be an... interesting idea. Got any thoughts on it?"
Her choice, her loss. He wasn't exactly going to pressure her into doing it. It isn't fun if only one person wanted to have fun. If she felt that she had her reasons then she had her reasons. Still, it was just a little bothersome as the feelings of depression built up.
"I think that was a movie actually," He said, walking over to the tree stump, narrowly avoiding Kelly. "At I think it might have been. I was never big into sexploitation films. If there hasn't been, then I would be genuinely surprised."
He took a seat on the stump, then looked over to Kelly with a sad smile.
"But I guess that could be an... interesting idea. Got any thoughts on it?"
Kelly didn't move at first, still as the placid morning air promising it'd be too hot and too soon. Then she gently shifted her hip a bit closer, just enough for Lucas to rest against it.
"Well I remember your films always had a kitschy low-budget aesthetic to them. Maybe sexploitation... that's such an awkward sounding word, hm. But maybe that would work in an okay way if it was portrayed with a bit of cartoonishness?"
"Like, one of those old cartoons with a Le Pew skunk type grossness about it. Charming in how over the top it is." Kelly was not quite sure what her hands were doing, it looked a bit stupid in the third person, all the flailing and emphasis on big, floaty midair curves. "Cheesy script, bright colors. Something like that."
She looked off into the distance. One side collapsed ever so slightly, causing her shoulder to rest on Lucas' arm. It looked subtle, and felt anything but.
It felt normal.
"Well I remember your films always had a kitschy low-budget aesthetic to them. Maybe sexploitation... that's such an awkward sounding word, hm. But maybe that would work in an okay way if it was portrayed with a bit of cartoonishness?"
"Like, one of those old cartoons with a Le Pew skunk type grossness about it. Charming in how over the top it is." Kelly was not quite sure what her hands were doing, it looked a bit stupid in the third person, all the flailing and emphasis on big, floaty midair curves. "Cheesy script, bright colors. Something like that."
She looked off into the distance. One side collapsed ever so slightly, causing her shoulder to rest on Lucas' arm. It looked subtle, and felt anything but.
It felt normal.
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Kelly was close to Lucas now, outright touch him as she leaned into him. He was rested up against her hip, her shoulder rested against his arm. The proximity, was ultimately normal but he couldn't help but feel a level of intimacy with it. He didn't want to scare her off so he kept quite. He just continued to smile at her.
"Interesting ideas," he reasoned with a nod of his head. "Though working with a low-budget is a necessity rather than a deliberate choice. I gotta work with what I got, but try to make the best of it."
"I do suppose it could work if kept to a ridiculous premise. No shortage of those in exploitation films. Could go a more serious tone, à la Porno Holocaust." he paused for a second. "Yes, that is a real movie. No, it isn't as funny as it sounds."
It was nice to be talking about this short of stuff again. The normalcy of it all. It was comforting despite the... oddity of the situation. But it was a welcome distraction from the horrors and the stressors of the island. At least until the announcements come on. Slowly he wrapped an arm around her waist. Nothing constricting or too sudden. If she wanted to get away or just push his arm aside, it would be all too easy for her.
Conversation was pleasant, but deep down he still hunger for something more base. Looking over to Tonya's still sleeping form... If things didn't work out here with Kelly, he wondered if Tonya would be up for another round.
"I'm not sure how well I'd do with a cheesy script. I always try my best to make sure my work isn't that and I know what I like. But I guess it is a matter of opinion in that regard."
"Interesting ideas," he reasoned with a nod of his head. "Though working with a low-budget is a necessity rather than a deliberate choice. I gotta work with what I got, but try to make the best of it."
"I do suppose it could work if kept to a ridiculous premise. No shortage of those in exploitation films. Could go a more serious tone, à la Porno Holocaust." he paused for a second. "Yes, that is a real movie. No, it isn't as funny as it sounds."
It was nice to be talking about this short of stuff again. The normalcy of it all. It was comforting despite the... oddity of the situation. But it was a welcome distraction from the horrors and the stressors of the island. At least until the announcements come on. Slowly he wrapped an arm around her waist. Nothing constricting or too sudden. If she wanted to get away or just push his arm aside, it would be all too easy for her.
Conversation was pleasant, but deep down he still hunger for something more base. Looking over to Tonya's still sleeping form... If things didn't work out here with Kelly, he wondered if Tonya would be up for another round.
"I'm not sure how well I'd do with a cheesy script. I always try my best to make sure my work isn't that and I know what I like. But I guess it is a matter of opinion in that regard."
He was warm.
And somehow that didn't even bother her, considering how unreasonably quick the sun was being to rise and shine and burn all its kingdom today: as in, Kelly was already beginning to mildly regret black linen. Body heat sat differently on the skin. Still suffocating, more like melting chocolate. Not so bad.
"Porno Holocaust also sounds like a band name, honestly."
His arm was around her waist. She'd never realized how tiny she was. She seemed to sink a bit deeper into the sawdust where she was sitting, like something about Lucas' deceptively simple gesture had been the killswitch for what remained of Kelly's awkward-feeling muscle tension. It seemed alright to relax, even if only for a moment.
"But, ah. Fine, that's fair. What do I know, right?" One of those rhetorical questions that could readily have been, syllable-by-syllable, constructed to be passive-aggressive, pure minimalist self-fellatio. Awkward using that word in this context, wasn't it? None of it felt all that off. Maybe a bit too fast, but Kelly could admit she was intrigued by the possibilities, close to the fore of her mind they were, given the demo she'd sat through most of her sleepless evening prior.
She'd said it earnestly. What did she know? A lot, but not necessarily to her own benefit. She remained firmly entrenched in the unknown. Exciting times, perilous times.
She looked his way. They were close enough that she could see herself reflected in his eyes. She could also feel the blush. Another form of heat that was less intrusive than it should objectively have been.
"... I'm more inexperienced than Tonya. She has had a child, after all. But I really mean it, you know. I've never even..."
And somehow that didn't even bother her, considering how unreasonably quick the sun was being to rise and shine and burn all its kingdom today: as in, Kelly was already beginning to mildly regret black linen. Body heat sat differently on the skin. Still suffocating, more like melting chocolate. Not so bad.
"Porno Holocaust also sounds like a band name, honestly."
His arm was around her waist. She'd never realized how tiny she was. She seemed to sink a bit deeper into the sawdust where she was sitting, like something about Lucas' deceptively simple gesture had been the killswitch for what remained of Kelly's awkward-feeling muscle tension. It seemed alright to relax, even if only for a moment.
"But, ah. Fine, that's fair. What do I know, right?" One of those rhetorical questions that could readily have been, syllable-by-syllable, constructed to be passive-aggressive, pure minimalist self-fellatio. Awkward using that word in this context, wasn't it? None of it felt all that off. Maybe a bit too fast, but Kelly could admit she was intrigued by the possibilities, close to the fore of her mind they were, given the demo she'd sat through most of her sleepless evening prior.
She'd said it earnestly. What did she know? A lot, but not necessarily to her own benefit. She remained firmly entrenched in the unknown. Exciting times, perilous times.
She looked his way. They were close enough that she could see herself reflected in his eyes. She could also feel the blush. Another form of heat that was less intrusive than it should objectively have been.
"... I'm more inexperienced than Tonya. She has had a child, after all. But I really mean it, you know. I've never even..."
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And like that, they entered Act 2 of this encountered. So far things were going smoothly, but it was still anyone's game. People were unpredictable so she could back out or go through with it. It was hard to say. But that was all part of the fun of this sort of flirtation, wasn't it? The uncertainty?
He smiled at her, giving her a reassuring squeeze as he held her closer. She was so soft and so warm in his grasp.
"It will be okay," he said, calmly, low in an almost reassuring whisper. Slowly his hand shifted down her waist, finally resting on her rear. "I know it can seem like a lot at first, but don't worry. If you wan, I can do all the work. All you'd have to do is sit back and relax."
He could understand her concerns. Certainly inexperience on one person's part could cause some issues, but he was no stranger to taking the lead in these matters. Where Kelly lacked in experience, Lucas had a plethora of it.
It seemed so close now. He had imagined the two of them together in sensual embrace ever since they were left to their devices at the manor. His body ached for the carnal union of flesh with this woman in his arms. If not for simply for lust, then to hold back the pain from remembering what he had lost. He needed to ease her into this, can't take any serious risks least he drive her off.
He smiled at her, giving her a reassuring squeeze as he held her closer. She was so soft and so warm in his grasp.
"It will be okay," he said, calmly, low in an almost reassuring whisper. Slowly his hand shifted down her waist, finally resting on her rear. "I know it can seem like a lot at first, but don't worry. If you wan, I can do all the work. All you'd have to do is sit back and relax."
He could understand her concerns. Certainly inexperience on one person's part could cause some issues, but he was no stranger to taking the lead in these matters. Where Kelly lacked in experience, Lucas had a plethora of it.
It seemed so close now. He had imagined the two of them together in sensual embrace ever since they were left to their devices at the manor. His body ached for the carnal union of flesh with this woman in his arms. If not for simply for lust, then to hold back the pain from remembering what he had lost. He needed to ease her into this, can't take any serious risks least he drive her off.
She wondered why people said it was 'easy'.
He'd asked her to relax, and she'd tried her hardest to comply. Sure, she'd already been relaxing, but somehow she needed to relax more. Easy breathing, gentle collapsing fold of her spine but held just so that she didn't falsely advertise stomach chub she didn't have. Or, hm, maybe that was already overthinking things. That was who she was, whatever convenient mask she tried to wear for herself, she was a thinker. She was understanding the situation as it evolved. Innocence, decency, privacy... heat, the sheer heat. The look in his eyes as he looked at her looking at him.
Things were never 'easy' because this world demanded mindfulness. Self-awareness. Kelly was not an animal. She felt like one, maybe, felt the temptation to allow the rapid crackling synapses deeper into her skull their gratification. That was not her. A whole brain's worth of herself knew truths deeper than first impressions and pheromones. It knew the virtues of hard work, discipline. Patience, above all else.
It knew she only had so many chances out of infinity years left on this earth to sell her brand. Herself, all she was worth.
He was not an acceptable exchange.
"I-"
But still, yanking herself away was a bit difficult. She hadn't noticed how soft her lips had become when the part of herself that actively defied temperament had let it shape into a kiss. She hadn't noticed the silent void between them, that they had both breathed into as one.
"It's too much." She squirmed back. His arms felt stronger than they were, when she tried to escape them. Made them all the more gratuitous to the senses. "I can't, I-" A squeak. Kinda pathetic sounding, definitely not an intended affect. She felt as small as the mouse that had dared think such a sound was worthy.
"Sorry." She settled down. Firm of body, of mind. That was who she was. Controlled.
"When I'm ready I'll let you know. Promise." Time was vague, except for it's direction. It was a promise Kelly didn't have to keep if she ultimately didn't want to. A challenge to herself. A decision in her own hands, control, power, worth more than all the rest of the dwindling supplies in her bag. She refused to smile. It was no longer an appropriate indulgence. The moment was dead, she the killer.
Tonya's life story, ultimately, was proof that some decisions could never be taken back.
He'd asked her to relax, and she'd tried her hardest to comply. Sure, she'd already been relaxing, but somehow she needed to relax more. Easy breathing, gentle collapsing fold of her spine but held just so that she didn't falsely advertise stomach chub she didn't have. Or, hm, maybe that was already overthinking things. That was who she was, whatever convenient mask she tried to wear for herself, she was a thinker. She was understanding the situation as it evolved. Innocence, decency, privacy... heat, the sheer heat. The look in his eyes as he looked at her looking at him.
Things were never 'easy' because this world demanded mindfulness. Self-awareness. Kelly was not an animal. She felt like one, maybe, felt the temptation to allow the rapid crackling synapses deeper into her skull their gratification. That was not her. A whole brain's worth of herself knew truths deeper than first impressions and pheromones. It knew the virtues of hard work, discipline. Patience, above all else.
It knew she only had so many chances out of infinity years left on this earth to sell her brand. Herself, all she was worth.
He was not an acceptable exchange.
"I-"
But still, yanking herself away was a bit difficult. She hadn't noticed how soft her lips had become when the part of herself that actively defied temperament had let it shape into a kiss. She hadn't noticed the silent void between them, that they had both breathed into as one.
"It's too much." She squirmed back. His arms felt stronger than they were, when she tried to escape them. Made them all the more gratuitous to the senses. "I can't, I-" A squeak. Kinda pathetic sounding, definitely not an intended affect. She felt as small as the mouse that had dared think such a sound was worthy.
"Sorry." She settled down. Firm of body, of mind. That was who she was. Controlled.
"When I'm ready I'll let you know. Promise." Time was vague, except for it's direction. It was a promise Kelly didn't have to keep if she ultimately didn't want to. A challenge to herself. A decision in her own hands, control, power, worth more than all the rest of the dwindling supplies in her bag. She refused to smile. It was no longer an appropriate indulgence. The moment was dead, she the killer.
Tonya's life story, ultimately, was proof that some decisions could never be taken back.
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She deserved to feel good once before she went.
Tonya'd fixed herself to that post and wouldn't let go. Better sense tried to dig its claws into her clothes, so she let him take them to the ground. Shame tried to pull her off next, dozen little eyes every which way around her blinking in the dark for the whole world to see her foolishness. She'd pulled him on top of her like he could shield her from any angle of it. Had to figure that once they were in it that'd be it. Mistakes were made and that little voice in the back of her head would throw up its hands in disgust. Lucas pinned her in with this sloppy tempo though and instead of fading away it fell in line. He didn't feel wrong, god what she woulda given for him to feel wrong because wrong was something to hold on to, wrong wasn't the way the days all bled together where she couldn't chop up the hours, wrong was an anchor that gave her some kinda idea what right was, wrong meant she could do something. She didn't feel wrong. Mud made her skin go cold farther up her body when he rose, when he fell, and she felt nothing.
And after awhile of feeling nothing, she felt rage.
She'd tried to push him harder, really dig into this motherfucker who'd promised to rock her world with more stupid lines than she could count. Nothing fucked up. Tonya wasn't choking him or nothing like that. Her frustration wasn't really his fault so she wasn't gonna take him out on him, not now. She needed something more though, maybe more than he had to give but she had to try and take it. She grabbed on to him. Held him tight to her where she could even when the awkward positions started to make her ache. Her face and the sounds she made, they weren't so far off you could clue in right away. Ain't nobody gonna tell you there wasn't passion in them. Desire too; what else would you call regret when you really got down to it? Tonya wasn't loud when it came to all that, wasn't exactly gonna split the night shrieking for him, but there was a lotta panting. Sighing. Growling. Releases of frustration she couldn't turn over. They couldn't take her far though. Farther than he lasted? Sure. She'd give 'em that. But only just. A minute later, five tops, and she left him to clean up what she could of the mess she made.
When she came back she didn't return to his side. Tonya never turned back his way before she went to sleep, and it'd be so easy to say it was because it was his fault. Lash out at him for taking advantage of her vulnerability or some shit, but even putting aside that she made the first move she couldn't get herself there. It wasn't about who it'd been with anymore than her other hard whiffs since day one. In all that failure the only constant was her. Couldn't do right as a mother or she woulda never gone on this trip in the first place, she'd still be at home with her girl showing up to ten funerals a week 'til they cleared this whole thing up. Couldn't do right as a killer, all that'd got her was a hell of a lot more tired and wet than she was now. Couldn't do right as a friend or she'd done more for Lucas then dig up his girlfriend and help him fuck his way all over her memory. Hell. Couldn't even do that right or she wouldn't be lying here pretending she'd been asleep for God knows how long. Long enough to hear, well.
You know.
She didn't expect it to mean all that much. Optimism flying at its highest said they were a couple of friends on a bad rebound trying to work out their shit. There was nothing to sell just how much of a waste of time and emotion it'd been to give that rebound to Lucas than hearing him trying to get his dick wet with some murderous bitch he barely knew with less feet between them than hours since he'd kissed her.
Tonya sat up, but she didn't look at them.
Tonya'd fixed herself to that post and wouldn't let go. Better sense tried to dig its claws into her clothes, so she let him take them to the ground. Shame tried to pull her off next, dozen little eyes every which way around her blinking in the dark for the whole world to see her foolishness. She'd pulled him on top of her like he could shield her from any angle of it. Had to figure that once they were in it that'd be it. Mistakes were made and that little voice in the back of her head would throw up its hands in disgust. Lucas pinned her in with this sloppy tempo though and instead of fading away it fell in line. He didn't feel wrong, god what she woulda given for him to feel wrong because wrong was something to hold on to, wrong wasn't the way the days all bled together where she couldn't chop up the hours, wrong was an anchor that gave her some kinda idea what right was, wrong meant she could do something. She didn't feel wrong. Mud made her skin go cold farther up her body when he rose, when he fell, and she felt nothing.
And after awhile of feeling nothing, she felt rage.
She'd tried to push him harder, really dig into this motherfucker who'd promised to rock her world with more stupid lines than she could count. Nothing fucked up. Tonya wasn't choking him or nothing like that. Her frustration wasn't really his fault so she wasn't gonna take him out on him, not now. She needed something more though, maybe more than he had to give but she had to try and take it. She grabbed on to him. Held him tight to her where she could even when the awkward positions started to make her ache. Her face and the sounds she made, they weren't so far off you could clue in right away. Ain't nobody gonna tell you there wasn't passion in them. Desire too; what else would you call regret when you really got down to it? Tonya wasn't loud when it came to all that, wasn't exactly gonna split the night shrieking for him, but there was a lotta panting. Sighing. Growling. Releases of frustration she couldn't turn over. They couldn't take her far though. Farther than he lasted? Sure. She'd give 'em that. But only just. A minute later, five tops, and she left him to clean up what she could of the mess she made.
When she came back she didn't return to his side. Tonya never turned back his way before she went to sleep, and it'd be so easy to say it was because it was his fault. Lash out at him for taking advantage of her vulnerability or some shit, but even putting aside that she made the first move she couldn't get herself there. It wasn't about who it'd been with anymore than her other hard whiffs since day one. In all that failure the only constant was her. Couldn't do right as a mother or she woulda never gone on this trip in the first place, she'd still be at home with her girl showing up to ten funerals a week 'til they cleared this whole thing up. Couldn't do right as a killer, all that'd got her was a hell of a lot more tired and wet than she was now. Couldn't do right as a friend or she'd done more for Lucas then dig up his girlfriend and help him fuck his way all over her memory. Hell. Couldn't even do that right or she wouldn't be lying here pretending she'd been asleep for God knows how long. Long enough to hear, well.
You know.
She didn't expect it to mean all that much. Optimism flying at its highest said they were a couple of friends on a bad rebound trying to work out their shit. There was nothing to sell just how much of a waste of time and emotion it'd been to give that rebound to Lucas than hearing him trying to get his dick wet with some murderous bitch he barely knew with less feet between them than hours since he'd kissed her.
Tonya sat up, but she didn't look at them.
- TheLordOfAwesome
- Posts: 489
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:37 pm
- Location: Washington
It would seem that this was all to much for Kelly, as she began to pull away from Lucas. He frowned a little at the action, but didn't protest. If she didn't feel comfortable then he wasn't about to force her. He was certainly disappointed, but nothing he could do about that now. All he could is let her slip away as the moment died between them.
"it's okay," he said, smiling sadly. "I get it."
He turned his attention from Kelly to Tonya. Tonya was now awake, sitting up but not looking at them.
How long had she been awake? Did she over hear everything? If so, how did she feel about all this. Tonya made no secret of her dislike for Kelly ever since she joined them and here was Lucas trying to put the moves on her mere hours after they kissed and slept with each other. And for what? So he could have a few more moments so he could fill the broken void where Camille use to occupy for a few brief debauched moments? Suddenly the guilt he had been feeling just exploded like a firecracker made from pure shame. They had needed each other last night, and now there was this betrayal — or at least he felt as though it were — where he was desiring another woman. Camille would have understood, they had been together long enough that she would have understood that Lucas couldn't help himself sometimes.
But Tonya wasn't Camille.
Pretend as he might, she was no replacement. Just a friend turned bad rebound to momentarily forget his pain.
His own misery was plaguing him with guilt that he couldn't even force himself to look in her direction. He averted his gaze downward as every bad thought in his head yelled at him about what a horrible piece of shit he was. He was a bad person for trying to sleep with other women while his girlfriend was alive, he was a bad person to claim that he loved Camille despite that fact, he was a bad person for sleeping with Tonya mere moments after learning his girlfriend was dead, and he was a bad person for trying to sleep with Kelly only a couple hours after that.
He buried his face in his hands, thinking on what a piece of shit that he was.
"it's okay," he said, smiling sadly. "I get it."
He turned his attention from Kelly to Tonya. Tonya was now awake, sitting up but not looking at them.
How long had she been awake? Did she over hear everything? If so, how did she feel about all this. Tonya made no secret of her dislike for Kelly ever since she joined them and here was Lucas trying to put the moves on her mere hours after they kissed and slept with each other. And for what? So he could have a few more moments so he could fill the broken void where Camille use to occupy for a few brief debauched moments? Suddenly the guilt he had been feeling just exploded like a firecracker made from pure shame. They had needed each other last night, and now there was this betrayal — or at least he felt as though it were — where he was desiring another woman. Camille would have understood, they had been together long enough that she would have understood that Lucas couldn't help himself sometimes.
But Tonya wasn't Camille.
Pretend as he might, she was no replacement. Just a friend turned bad rebound to momentarily forget his pain.
His own misery was plaguing him with guilt that he couldn't even force himself to look in her direction. He averted his gaze downward as every bad thought in his head yelled at him about what a horrible piece of shit he was. He was a bad person for trying to sleep with other women while his girlfriend was alive, he was a bad person to claim that he loved Camille despite that fact, he was a bad person for sleeping with Tonya mere moments after learning his girlfriend was dead, and he was a bad person for trying to sleep with Kelly only a couple hours after that.
He buried his face in his hands, thinking on what a piece of shit that he was.
The mood had depreciated pretty quickly. Not even her own fault. Kelly glanced either way, at faces doing their best to avoid broadcasting the weakness of the facade.
Must've been a moment prior that she'd been the one feeling the heat of incompetence? The reversal struck her as a welcome equilibrium. What goes around comes around; and she wasn't talking any kind of Timberlake.
She was pointedly trying to smile at Tonya. And not in a friendly way. Kelly felt she'd earned the cathartic moment of pettiness- two could play at the game of gendered, stereotypical cattiness? If that's how it was going to go, right? It turned out that nobody ever asked if it was okay to judge or be judged. Trials sans the presumption of innocence were the new in-thing, and Kelly rather rigorously prided herself on her ability to work with trends.
Not to subsume them, rather. Nobody liked clout chasers.
Kelly enjoyed the silence she was left in to fester like a tumor, up until it broke. Her solitude was cured without consent.
“Good morning kids! I’ve got some great news for you to start us off today and it is that if you’re listening to this you have officially made it to the halfway point of our game, congratulations!”
“Unfortunately we have to start today’s recap on a sour note as both Charelle Chernyshyova and Aditi Sharma died as a result of breaking our rules on fires. Charelle was taken care of by the fire itself while we dealt with Aditi. Take the lessons of this to heart, we are always watching and won’t be fooled by simple misdirection. Do not try anything like this if you want to go home.”
“Continuing on, Wyatt Carter met his demise at the barrel of Tirzah Foss’s gun and I don't think all the kings' horses or all the kings' men will be able to put him back together again.”
“Tanisha Abbey was the next to fall as Erika Stieglitz hit the big one-o, via you guessed it, bullets.”
“Again someone falls victim to the tyranny of bullets as Camille Bellegarde was shot by Valerija Bogdanovic. So watch out, there’s a new killer about.”
“The Chattanooga chainsaw massacre met its end as Marco Volker was shot by Henry Sparks. It was always going to happen eventually, especially when you bring a chainsaw to a gunfight.”
“There was a bit of a delay on our next kill as long after the initial attack Jackson Sullivan succumbed to wounds caused by Justin Greene. He has a knack for delayed murders, that boy.”
“After that Adele Jones checked to see if the rule about messing with our cameras was still in effect. "
"Spoiler alert, it is.”
“Justin Greene, after getting that delayed kill, was more proactive with his maiming later on in the day as Nia Karahalios and Johnny Silva Ruiz both fell before his mighty smashing ability.”
“In a battle of killers, Tyrell Lahti came out on top and sent Lorenzo Tavares plummeting off the mansion balcony to his demise. Whether you like him or not you have to admit that boy knows how to kill in style.”
“We also have a rare joint kill today as Michael Froese shot Roxie Borowski right between the eyes while Yuka Hayashibara shanked her in the gut. It’s so rewarding to see people come out of their shells.”
“And as killers rise so to do they fall as Quinn Abert was stabbed to death by Arizona Butler, although based on her art projects we’re sure she would have appreciated how she was left.”
“Emeka Gibson had a bad trip, but don’t worry, Claudeson Bademosi was there to make sure he got the help he needed. You can't do drugs if you're dead, right?”
“Next up, we have a more subtle and quiet death for us to all contemplate as Sven Vee fell from the top of the waterfall like a dumbass.”
"Then we end things off with a death right at the buzzer as Tony Acardi finally died from a wound inflicted on him by Paloma Salt days ago. Man, we were wondering what was taking him so long."
"But as I said at the beginning, the rest of you have all managed to get past the halfway point, what a remarkable achievement. To celebrate we’ve decided to move the danger zone up to the The Upper Wilds, it’s symbolism for your success."
"As always we have a prize to give out for the best murder and we have... another tie... yay. Tirzah Foss and Justin Greene both win the singular prize of a new weapon and a nice bowl of chili with cornbread, which can be found potentially waterlogged at the Rice Paddies!"
"That's all from me today kids, keep up the good work and remember, you’re my favorite."
Surprisingly irrelevant information. If Kelly allowed herself more idle thought, she reflected that Danya had a particular quality of low viewcount content producer to his timbre.
Must've been a moment prior that she'd been the one feeling the heat of incompetence? The reversal struck her as a welcome equilibrium. What goes around comes around; and she wasn't talking any kind of Timberlake.
She was pointedly trying to smile at Tonya. And not in a friendly way. Kelly felt she'd earned the cathartic moment of pettiness- two could play at the game of gendered, stereotypical cattiness? If that's how it was going to go, right? It turned out that nobody ever asked if it was okay to judge or be judged. Trials sans the presumption of innocence were the new in-thing, and Kelly rather rigorously prided herself on her ability to work with trends.
Not to subsume them, rather. Nobody liked clout chasers.
Kelly enjoyed the silence she was left in to fester like a tumor, up until it broke. Her solitude was cured without consent.
“Good morning kids! I’ve got some great news for you to start us off today and it is that if you’re listening to this you have officially made it to the halfway point of our game, congratulations!”
“Unfortunately we have to start today’s recap on a sour note as both Charelle Chernyshyova and Aditi Sharma died as a result of breaking our rules on fires. Charelle was taken care of by the fire itself while we dealt with Aditi. Take the lessons of this to heart, we are always watching and won’t be fooled by simple misdirection. Do not try anything like this if you want to go home.”
“Continuing on, Wyatt Carter met his demise at the barrel of Tirzah Foss’s gun and I don't think all the kings' horses or all the kings' men will be able to put him back together again.”
“Tanisha Abbey was the next to fall as Erika Stieglitz hit the big one-o, via you guessed it, bullets.”
“Again someone falls victim to the tyranny of bullets as Camille Bellegarde was shot by Valerija Bogdanovic. So watch out, there’s a new killer about.”
“The Chattanooga chainsaw massacre met its end as Marco Volker was shot by Henry Sparks. It was always going to happen eventually, especially when you bring a chainsaw to a gunfight.”
“There was a bit of a delay on our next kill as long after the initial attack Jackson Sullivan succumbed to wounds caused by Justin Greene. He has a knack for delayed murders, that boy.”
“After that Adele Jones checked to see if the rule about messing with our cameras was still in effect. "
"Spoiler alert, it is.”
“Justin Greene, after getting that delayed kill, was more proactive with his maiming later on in the day as Nia Karahalios and Johnny Silva Ruiz both fell before his mighty smashing ability.”
“In a battle of killers, Tyrell Lahti came out on top and sent Lorenzo Tavares plummeting off the mansion balcony to his demise. Whether you like him or not you have to admit that boy knows how to kill in style.”
“We also have a rare joint kill today as Michael Froese shot Roxie Borowski right between the eyes while Yuka Hayashibara shanked her in the gut. It’s so rewarding to see people come out of their shells.”
“And as killers rise so to do they fall as Quinn Abert was stabbed to death by Arizona Butler, although based on her art projects we’re sure she would have appreciated how she was left.”
“Emeka Gibson had a bad trip, but don’t worry, Claudeson Bademosi was there to make sure he got the help he needed. You can't do drugs if you're dead, right?”
“Next up, we have a more subtle and quiet death for us to all contemplate as Sven Vee fell from the top of the waterfall like a dumbass.”
"Then we end things off with a death right at the buzzer as Tony Acardi finally died from a wound inflicted on him by Paloma Salt days ago. Man, we were wondering what was taking him so long."
"But as I said at the beginning, the rest of you have all managed to get past the halfway point, what a remarkable achievement. To celebrate we’ve decided to move the danger zone up to the The Upper Wilds, it’s symbolism for your success."
"As always we have a prize to give out for the best murder and we have... another tie... yay. Tirzah Foss and Justin Greene both win the singular prize of a new weapon and a nice bowl of chili with cornbread, which can be found potentially waterlogged at the Rice Paddies!"
"That's all from me today kids, keep up the good work and remember, you’re my favorite."
Surprisingly irrelevant information. If Kelly allowed herself more idle thought, she reflected that Danya had a particular quality of low viewcount content producer to his timbre.
V8 Vibes:
V7 Vibes:
- Emprexx Plush
- Posts: 1678
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:37 pm
- Contact:
Sometime the night before she'd had the sense to hang her clothes from the tree she slept next to, count that one win. Still hadn't turned around when she collected them, or when she used the tree to block their vision as she changed. There was this irrational vulnerability in blocking them out going from undressed to dressed, either had a few dozen shots at anything they wanted to see. She found a power in it too though. The Tonya that came out from behind the tree was the one who walked into the stable yesterday. Filthy, scowling, no sign this detour had thrown her off more than the rest of the shit they'd been through.
Cuz they didn't deserve to see that. Nine times out of ten Lucas and Kelly had taken her vulnerability and weaponized it against her. Half those were Kelly being the snake she musta dreamed of shedding into, she could fuck off. Lucas hurt more 'cuz he wasn't trying to hurt her, he was just being himself. With somebody trying to play them both so clumsy and obvious right fucking there Tonya couldn't keep her blood boiling for him. But she couldn't do this with him anymore either.
The Tonya who came 'round the tree was steel with welded seams. She wouldn't leave him, 'cuz where would she go? But she was over trying to save him from himself. The announcements finished right around the time she stepped out.
"Who the hell is Val...Valleyja...Valor...the bitch who killed Camille?"
She still wasn't looking at them.
Cuz they didn't deserve to see that. Nine times out of ten Lucas and Kelly had taken her vulnerability and weaponized it against her. Half those were Kelly being the snake she musta dreamed of shedding into, she could fuck off. Lucas hurt more 'cuz he wasn't trying to hurt her, he was just being himself. With somebody trying to play them both so clumsy and obvious right fucking there Tonya couldn't keep her blood boiling for him. But she couldn't do this with him anymore either.
The Tonya who came 'round the tree was steel with welded seams. She wouldn't leave him, 'cuz where would she go? But she was over trying to save him from himself. The announcements finished right around the time she stepped out.
"Who the hell is Val...Valleyja...Valor...the bitch who killed Camille?"
She still wasn't looking at them.
- TheLordOfAwesome
- Posts: 489
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:37 pm
- Location: Washington
Announcements came and Lucas listened. Wrapped within his misery, all he could do is listen as the names of the dead were listed off. One by one, names and deaths, victims and killers, were listed off as casually as a sports draft. Camille's death came and he learned the name of her killer: Valerija Bogdanovic. She shot and killed his girlfriend. The woman that he loved. She was dead because of Val. Somehow learning this only caused his misery to reach new heights. But soon misery was replaced by a new feeling: fury. A great and terrible fury that boiled and ate away at him.
His fists clenched, trembling with rage. More names and deaths were listed, but they were lost to the fog of rage that enveloped his mind. It was hard to focus on anything else.
“We also have a rare joint kill today as Michael Froese shot Roxie Borowski right between the eyes while Yuka Hayashibara shanked her in the gut. It’s so rewarding to see people come out of their shells.”
That broke Lucas out from the fog in his mind, as the world seemed to slow to a crawl. Roxie was gone too?
In that moment, something broke inside Lucas. In mere moments, he had lost both his girlfriend and his best friend.
Slowly and mechanically, Lucas stood up and walked over to where he had left his clothes. He dressed himself, his body moving automatically like compelled by some unseen force. He said nothing, just remained quiet as the grave as his unflinching gaze looked around dead and emotionless.
His fists clenched, trembling with rage. More names and deaths were listed, but they were lost to the fog of rage that enveloped his mind. It was hard to focus on anything else.
“We also have a rare joint kill today as Michael Froese shot Roxie Borowski right between the eyes while Yuka Hayashibara shanked her in the gut. It’s so rewarding to see people come out of their shells.”
That broke Lucas out from the fog in his mind, as the world seemed to slow to a crawl. Roxie was gone too?
In that moment, something broke inside Lucas. In mere moments, he had lost both his girlfriend and his best friend.
Slowly and mechanically, Lucas stood up and walked over to where he had left his clothes. He dressed himself, his body moving automatically like compelled by some unseen force. He said nothing, just remained quiet as the grave as his unflinching gaze looked around dead and emotionless.