"This first part isn't really related to the rest of what I'm about to say, but, like, it's a poignant story, so I'm gonna tell it to you anyways. I mean, like, I think it's poignant, at least.
"So, a whiiiile back, Wikileaks released this big archive of, uh, pager intercepts — like, uh, someone had a doodad that could receive any and all messages anyone sent from a pager, and they put all the messages into a text document. They're all from the same day, and I think most of them are like, from the east coast — D.C. and New York — but there's still, like millions of messages to look through. Most of 'em are like, just automated messages — news updates, IT stuff, those kinds of things. There's some stuff that you can tell's been sent manually, every so often, but since the archive starts at 3 AM, they're kinda sparse at first. First five hours are completely innocuous; like, you're thinking, 'why's this on Wikileaks?'; 8 AM, people are starting to wake up. A few people are using their pagers to call in sick to work and stuff. Still not much going on, but, y'know, it's just people going about their regular day. Like, at 8:45, I remember specifically, there's like, someone asking their husband about a lost video camera.
"8:46, there's an automated message; some stock trading service. It's an error message. It says 'Market data inconsistent. Cantor API problem. Trading system offline,' and like, it looks completely innocuous, but it's -
"- it's the moment everything changed. Right then, in that moment, something happened, and the world decided it was something it could never come back from.
"In that message, 'Cantor' is shorthand for Cantor Fitzgerald. They're an investment firm. They were on floors one-hundred-and-one through one-hundred-and-five of WTC-1. Fifteen seconds before that error message was sent, Cantor's servers were knocked out by American Airlines Flight 11 hitting floors ninety-three through ninety-nine.
"Over six-hundred people employed by Cantor Fitzgerald died that day. One-thousand-six-hundred people died in that tower. Almost three-thousand people were killed in the attacks overall. Hundreds of thousands of people died during the next few years because of things people thought were justified because of those attacks.
"'Market data inconsistent. Cantor API problem. Trading system offline' is only nine fucking words, but it's - it's thousands of people dying, and it's just like -
"- it's like, 'Market data inconsistent. Cantor API problem. Trading system offline', and then just,"
A finger snap.
"and then all those lives are just gone and they can't come back, and it's just - it's - after that, nobody thinks about any of them as people. They just become talking points, or - or jet fuel can't melt steel beams memes - but it's -
"- they're people. They're all real people."
A sniffle.
"You can't let them stop being people."
Another sniffle.
"Please don't let us stop being people."
((Michael Froese wasn't a person anymore))
A few seconds of silence.
"Y'know, sometimes, when I'm telling people the truth, I just start crying. That's why I'm wearing the sunglasses. For all you know, that whole speech was a lie.
"Maybe I never actually went crazy.
"Maybe every word that has ever come out of my mouth was a calculation.
"Maybe you've only seen what I wanted you to see.
"Or maybe I've been nothing but honest this whole time.
"You won't ever know. Because I'm dead."
Because he was human.
A low, bitter chuckle.
"I'm a fan of 'show; don't tell'. This has never been about what I say. It's about how I say it and when I say it."
Sometimes it was about what he didn't say.
"That's usually how you find out the truth about people.
"I'll tell you right now, I've never been after your sympathy."
He was after their guilt.
"Most of the time, I'm not really talking to you. I'm talking to myself.
"I think, really, the point where I passed the point of no return was when I ODed at the menagerie. I don't know how many pills I took; just that it was a lot. Amphetamine overdoses can cause psychosis, and like,
"- I honestly can't tell you if anything that's happened since then has actually, like, happened.
"Maybe this is just my brain fucking around while I choke to death on my own vomit.
"Honestly, I really hope it is."
Mechanical noises. The sounds of a gun being reloaded.
"You're probably wondering why I hooked Catherine up to my insulin pump, aren't you? Why I didn't just shoot her? Why I didn't just use the syringe?
"I did it because, this way, I can't justify it to myself.
"And because, this way, I'm physically hurting myself as long as she's still alive.
"I'm not sure how long I suspended her insulin delivery for.
"Astute viewers may notice I'm never the one benefiting when I hurt people.
"'You say you care about people, and that you feel bad when you hurt them. If that's true, then why do you keep hurting people?' you ask.
"I'm doing this because it hurts me too.
"I'm doing this because I don't want to get better.
"I'm doing this because it's the only thing I can even remember how to do right."
((Continued in another party.))
The Darkest Side
Oneshot
The bay is where boats would have come in to dock when they arrived at the island. The first thing they would have seen is a large ‘Welcome’ sign painted in rainbow colours. There is a thin strip of seaweed-covered sand running the length of the bay that acts as as the ‘beach’ area, although it was rarely used when compared to the larger beach on the island.
The Darkest Side
- [+] v7
- [+] Michael Froese
- Michael Froese - The story of an identity; the story of a matador; the story of a liar; the story of a junkie; the story of a very special frog; the story of a jackal; the story of an oscillator; the story of a ghost; the story of the death of an author; the story of a bunch of other stuff.
THREADS!
PREGAME: Mad world - This...this felt nice. - Michael was incredibly disappointed in himself for actually agreeing to go do something with Beryl. - He wasn't actually all that sorry. - Part of him was worried his real motivation wasn't self-torturing altruism but instead the fact that it was one of the few things that still made him feel.
ISLAND:
Michael and all of his friends were going to be footnotes in a history textbook. - he was folding in on himself like a four-dimensional object in three-dimensional space - Everything was about pain, fear, and love. - "Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours; For graphs of passion, and charts of stars." - He had a duty to look into someone's eyes as he killed them. - Closure really did sound like nothing at all. - "I wish we were lovers, but it's for the best." - Michael Froese the award-winning murderer. That was who he was now. - "I wanted to lose myself." - "Good and bad, all roads lead to Rome and I just, it hurts too much to be a good person." - "Somewhere out there in the deep blue sea, there's this whale." - "...It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else." - "The neighbors, they adored him for his humor and his conversation. Look underneath the house there, find the few living things, rotting fast in their sleep; oh, the dead," - He gave her a big hug. He buried his head in her shoulder, feeling her cold, spongy, rubbery skin against his forehead. She had no eyes. She had no face. Something had eaten her face. - Michael Froese was a crazy person with a gun. - Validation. - "You don't live in a goddamned movie." - "I miss what it's like to be, like, actually alone." - "Market data inconsistent. Cantor API problem. Trading system offline," - Michael didn't want this. It wasn't like that'd stop him. - "I'm wide awake, it's morning." - He was a spree killer now, he supposed. - When he gave his word, he was giving nothing. - The fact they even existed was being politicized. - "BERYL FUCKING MAHELONA. TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO BERYL MAHELONA," - 'Am I gray?' - A beach covered in unidentified decedents. - He'd never felt anything unconditionally. - "Look around you, you're surrounded.
It won't get any better. And so, goodnight."
- [+] Valerija Bogdanovic
- The story of a (failed) revolutionary.
THREADS!
PREGAME: August 12th, 2017 - The explosive sound of metal hitting metal
ISLAND:
She turned away. Everything from here on out was for the terrorists to see. - "All of us, we have the chance to actually do something with our lives." - The students were the shark in the box. - Complacency was festering like a tumour. - "She's right. It won't - it won't change anything," - Scraped into the wall, in neatly-styled lettering, the words "If they won't live in peace, then they'll die for peace." - Val needed a gun, - "I do not care for violence without a point," she stated. "My gun is not loaded." - "Juliette, I'm sure you already know this, but you really should take pains to be careful around people who speak only in enthymemes." - "Someone once said, 'Change must come with the barrel of a gun', and they were not wrong." - Two explosions.
Micheal experienced super position wherein he was both Beryl and he was Beryl's RP site quote. He was sure he could be happy about this but he no longer knew what happiness meant.
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