Lost In Thought

[DGib123†]

Why did I even come here?

Jay put his hoodie over his head, making himself feel more invisible than he already was. The field seemed to be empty, as he sat down at the very top of the bleachers. He didn't know why he was here, except that he didn't feel like walking all the way home. It was a very warm day for October, and Jay was happy for that. He liked sitting up here, even alone, liking the view he was able to see. He laid his head back on the back walls, placing his backpack under his seat.
He saw a couple kids hanging around at the parking lot, and a few more around the campus area. Another long day of school was done, and Jay couldn't wait until the entire school year was over. Senior year was already proving to be stressful, but mostly because Jay was too distracted to hardly do any work. He looked at his watch, seeing it was nearly five. He rubbed his hand around it feeling the texture, getting lost in thought.

If Mia was here, I wouldn't be sitting out here by myself looking like a damn fool

Jay dropped his wrist, placing his head back onto the wall. He hated thinking about her, because it only made him feel worst. Luckily, his mother wouldn't get home from work until about midnight so he didn't have to go home. Even if she was home, it's not like she would even notice him gone anyways. As sad as it was, he didn't think of his mom as a mom anymore but more as just 'stranger he was sharing a home with'. His dad, however, was a different story. Ever since he moved three years ago, their relationship had deteriorated so much they don't even do weekend calls anymore. Jay looked at his watch again, seeing it had only been ten minutes that passed.

I really need to go home, I'm thinking too much

Being alone to his thoughts only made Jay feel worse about himself. Considering everything that has happened since his sister's death, he's felt like a walking shadow, invisible to everyone around him. He looked at his watch again, for what seemed like the 100th time just in the last hour. He hated that watch, but can't bring himself to take the thing off. It was only bad memories that the watch reminded him of, and it angered him. Jay closed his eyes, feeling his eyes begin to sting.

I really do fucking hate being here.